r/Crackheadcraigslist • that's a dog.

i got a gia 10 carat diamond for about 75 thousand dollars the the food isn't included i'm sorry what how's it going guys and welcome back to daily my name is damian how are you today and today we're going through our slash crackhead craigslist hopefully to buy i have two ambulances full of supplies and have no idea what the value is or like to sell everything ambulance is not for sale supplies and contents only why do you have two ambulances that's what i want to know did you buy these or did you just find them and take them home and how did you get two yo i'm selling this glass door just need some assembly oh i don't think i'm interested new or used yo it's a victorian baby eating machine fully restored i mean that's a steal back in the day the queen used to eat so many tots that didn't meet her qualifications babysitting attention i'm babysitting this summer 30 bucks per child ebt approved you don't show up on time i drop off recommended that you don't try me my services are from 7am to 7pm i'll provide breakfast and lunch but no dinner so pick your kids up on time if your baby doesn't have any baby formula they will drink either two percent milk or almond milk boys will get examined at the door so i can look at the shape of the head and tell if they bad or not children with silver cavities are automatically i hope your kids can fight because i'll break up fights to get in kids business i mean these look like some good old kids all their all their head shapes seem fine so obviously they're not getting into trouble hey i got a tennis ball left in the rain growing some kind of unknown plants i mean if you come and buy it and you keep growing it maybe you have a tree one day or a rose you never know fifty dollars i mean it's in sacramento i could go there technically what's up i got a beaded curtain for sale made from discarded bic lighters for about fifteen hundred bucks i wanna see you all for that in person one of a kind gift perfect gift for someone who has that who already has everything but you don't have this sucker i got a three-piece sofa and brown there are some signs of wear but it's partly re-approaching to cover the worst bits from a pet-filled home collection has to be socially distanced and sorry but the remote's not included i want to just focus on the some signs of where you replace that entire middle section with duct tape that part of the this is i'm not paying 150 for that and it's coming from leatherhead of all places you tell me your couch ain't got leather and leather head ridiculous more like you're selling it from duct tape head england a campbell's boy for twenty dollars please i need him gone uh he looks charming girl i got hit by a car in front of billy's last night i was smoking outside you were crossing the street and got hit by a car you bounced off the hood and landed on your feet yelling something about being indestructible the other night i almost got trapped in a dumpster because i was going after a pizza that i thought i wanted to take home with me i've also recently slept on my kitchen floor i think would be a good fit for each other move in with me let's get married i want to know how this love story ended up i mean given what he knows about her he assumed that she would be on craigslist i want to chase someone i am seeking somebody who will let me chase them age and gender doesn't matter you could be real old or a lady or black as long as you can go real fast it doesn't matter where it happens inside or outside but you have to be fun to chase you can't be on a bike because it's cheating i want the chasing to last a long time and i want to be sweaty but i have to catch you in the end if i don't catch you then you won't get paid but you can't let me catch you and be easy about it and if you do you won't get paid oh my god after the chasing you should say something to me like good running or you're very fast and give me a high five one hand high five for both hands high five not because i told you to but because you're thinking afterwards you should post a picture of me on your facebook and make the picture catch and say he got me let me know thanks so if anyone out there wants to be chased i mean my guy is looking for something the harry potter invisible cloak and he's got one and he'll let it go for 15 000 small price to pay to be invisible i mean look at it you can't because it's invisible but it's there spotted derby town warning this guy was supposed to buy our washer dryer machine for 150 bucks he wanted to see it working first and asked if he could do a load of laundry after he finished he said let me go get the money got in his car and drove away with his clean clothes the derby washer bandits at it yet again huh 200 it's a brand new coffin doesn't fit where i wanted it to go and needs sold as in brand new condition what about the baby using it as a place to stand does that baby know that one day it will too end up in that coffin what are you doing selling a bag of coke on facebook the cops are gonna fight two beds one bath house good evening is this available yes it is please leave me alone we're sleeping huh no more contacting please thanks appreciate you contacted me i know i'm no longer interested please stop contacting me now i will contact attorney general if you do not stop this is where that's gonna go she contacts the attorney general he replies and she goes please leave me alone we are sleeping just the cycle repeats a right-hand drive conversion kit for the 05 to 09 subaru outback if you're in a place where you get to drive on the right hand side of the road this is the perfect thing for you who needs to buy a new car just modify it a little bit dear god this is a horrifying message do you want to have fun with an amish man and peach bottom hi my name is emanuel i live in peach bottom pennsylvania i'm looking for a nice younger guy to go swimming with in the creek between the ages of 20 and 65. i'm only looking to have fun in the creek and nothing more than good friendship please call me and leave a message would you swim on the manual for 5 million you could be the new owner of a retired 2005 cruise ship powered by a 16 v 46d common rail engine it's about 19 000 horsepower with all the amenities you could ask for it's got a roller coaster a movie screen casino multiple restaurants and bars clean rooms and a 3 000 member capacity price is a firm 5 million which i mean if you're on facebook you gotta have that though are those condoms filled with big beans i mean five dollars though okay well it's a steal here is my custom daylight savings time clock you know i think it saves a lot of hassle i don't have to adjust anything i know my phone does it for me but do you know who trusts that kind of technology i'm analog all the way i am selling a collection of traffic light buttons for 20 do not ask me where i acquired these buttons i am simply looking to get them out of my hands and about to shut off your electric i make these decoys gives you a week extra time rent to your cousins if anyone has a shutoff notice i make it sell these decoys that's like some robin hood justice i like that every time i think i've seen everything posts like this keep me on my toes yeah no kidding eric decoy wasp nests it's clever as hell gamer girl bathwater delphine build 2. you ever wanted your pc build just all the the internals is beldelphine jesus someone someone made this someone puts it together with their bare hands i got a australian aboriginal didgeridoo just needs a little work i see yeah it needs a lot of work from the look of it free one bedroom apartment just keep doing dumb it's that easy for free eggs filled with peanut butter and jam great for kids birthday parties you can do 12 for 20. you're selling eggs with peanut butter and jelly in them for 20 dollars for a dozen oh but they can also do weddings should be locked up should be getting that free one bedroom apartment [Music] i love these miss connection posts you farted in kroger yesterday you were the tall brunette with a near perfect body that farted in the bread section last night i was the tall guy next to you that looked over and asked was that you you quickly replied no it wasn't me you almost seemed insulted i would ask as the stink grew you continued to deny your flatulence but it was evident i tried to get rid of the stench by waving two loaves of ciabatta bread you proceeded to storm off in an angry manner you're beautiful and even if you're a liar and fart like a clydesdale i'd love to meet up damn babe you fart with that ass there's this one tick tock i see that destroys me every time i think about it it was just some guy chill and he's like damn babe nice [ __ ] is that a scratch and sniff i'm smiling real hard right now saying it it annihilates me every time i think about it scratches it's too good man us flag presented by us army to me at a funeral it has never been unfolded from the day of the funeral unsure of size but it's large enough to cover a casket and you're selling this oh okay selling my son's setup because i caught him watching fortnite porn and i am a christian mother well if i give you the 13.50 can he keep his pc anyway alone on thanksgiving mad at your dad i am a 28 year old felon with no high school degree and a dirty old van one year younger than me painted like eddie van halen's guitar i could play anywhere between the ages of 20 and 29 depending on if i shave on the line cooking work late nights at a bar if you'd like to have me as your strictly platonic date for thanksgiving by happy pretend to be in a very longer serious relationship with you to torment your family i'm game i can do these things at your request openly hit on other female guests while you act like you don't notice start instigative discussions about politics and or religion propose to you in front of everyone pretend to be really drunk as the evening goes on sorry i don't drink but i used to a lot too much in fact i know the drill start an actual physical fight with a family member either inside or on the front lawn for all the neighbors to see i require no pay but the free meal i will receive as a guest he's just there for the he's there for the cooking for the cooking the story great price for a true gamer a sign from gamestop complete with the lights 18 feet long by 30 inches high and i have two avail how do you have two of these are you yoinking game stop signs his name is garth beautiful masterpiece that earned the name garth for sale price firm understandable i wouldn't give this up for any less than 50. rent a christian boyfriend for the holidays for all family gatherings 27 years experience gathering professional get the first packaging deal which is four hours the background story of how he met one instagram facebook picture 20 and a plate the second package deal is all day with matching outfits got background stories tell a few jokes offer to say a prayer at dinner call your dad pops a little pda hand-holding and a kiss i can't even begin ministering at the table he reached me on facebook i mean he's offering to stand in so it's not awkward that's a good deal you could kick my to impress your girlfriend are you tired of your girlfriend thinking you're a [ __ ] well just for a small fee you can prove her wrong and sure just how much of a badass you truly are just set up a time on location for me to come harass your girlfriend or significant other and then bam you come in and rock my sh weekdays 50 hours weekend 60 i'm really busy on fridays and saturdays i mean he's a little shredded himself he's got a little bit of an app cut out they look cool as hell beating his the snot out of him [Music] kids misbehaving a hundred bucks and i'll come to your house dressed as the grinch and throw your tree right out the window the grinch i'll do the smile on everything these hands buy one get one free i want to know if that dog took advantage of the buy one get one special because it is not there in the second photo handmade wife hauler 80 built this cart to pull my wife around at the auctions but then i need to be able to pull my junk around you so i added a hitch to the back of it that's downright disrespectful honey getting the wife hauler we're going to the flea market god a stephen hawking chair finally screw uber message me and i'll come get you in a 1989 pontiac firebird with a fit the whiskey and an eight ball blasting motley crew on the speakers and i'll holler hell yeah brother at everything you say i mean that's gonna boost my self-esteem by quite a bit like oh no that's a bad idea somehow five stars on airbnb sleep under my brother's horse horse warmth will keep you warm a bond will be formed i will only warn you once do not touch the horse i mean i i think that's a good deal maria seems like a decent airbnb host and that's gonna do it for crackhead craigslist i hope you guys enjoyed maybe found something you want to buy if you did be sure to leave a like and subscribe for more reddit memes dealing and until next time my name is damian and i'll be seeing you

Channel: DeeLee

Views: 161,637

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% true stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, ez pz, reddit funny, Crackheadcraigslist

Id: bXF-xot_QOg

Length: 13min 6sec (786 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 30 2021