r/Choosingbeggars Seeking Babysitter + Love-slave. Pay: $5/hour

welcome to our slash choosing beggars where a mother is looking for a full-time nanny slash threesome partner for her husband our next reddit post is from snitch witchery at my work we have a candy drawer for when you need a sugary mid-afternoon pick-me-up everyone takes turns to bring stuff in there's no official schedule or roster you just dump whatever you bring in the drawer and everyone raids it if they need a snack while out shopping the other day i found a bag of individually wrapped chocolates so i grabbed it to add to the candy drawer i was honestly pretty excited about them they were a european brand that i didn't recognize but they were all really good flavors like raspberry pistachio hazelnut dark chocolate and orange they all had a really high percentage of cocoa and i tend to prefer european chocolates to american ones well i tossed them in the candy drawer and thought nothing of it until i went to make myself tea around midday and i overheard a couple of my co-workers talking ugh who brought in this generic awful chocolate right it's name brand or nothing don't fob your cheap stuff off on us when i checked at the end of the day maybe two had been taken the kicker before i tossed in the chocolates the candy door contained nothing but a handful of smarties and half melted tootsie rolls enjoy your stale name brand gunk buttholes my chocolates will be accompanying me to board game night where they'll be much more appreciated on this next post op is a doordash driver and he gets this message from the person he's delivering to greetings please try to make sure that when they put the fries in the bag that they're not all over the place when you arrive that would be very helpful and it'd be perfect if you have a warming bag because fries get cold very quickly that's why they're the first thing that people eat when they get their order in-house i hate to ask you this but if you could stay there a little bit longer because i want a fresh order of fries cooked for this delivery order rather than the ones that are sitting under a heat lamp for the past two hours lady if your fries are cold by the time they arrive maybe it's because your doordash driver is spending all of his time reading your page long text messages instead of bringing you your fries also my wife and i ordered doordash a whole lot and i've noticed that pretty much every single time now they put a sticker over the bag so that doordash drivers can't like tamper with the food or take food and just to give people a sense that like the food is untouched from the delivery so how is op even supposed to like check the fries and make sure they're arranged correctly without breaking the seal because i've never done door dash driving but my assumption is that by the time the driver even gets there like nine times out of ten the the bag is just sitting there waiting for them that they don't have to really wait around so this doesn't really seem viable or likely at all anyways as you might expect op replied down in the comments and said that this choosing beggar tipped him a whopping two dollars okay this gets weirder op continues down in the comments that apparently there's more to this story than he originally posted after sending this the choosing beggar sends op a picture of her dog i guess which is just like a little white dog and she says thanks for that but i'm sure you don't have a lot of control over the situation when you arrive and that they already have it in the bag for you to snatch and grab i'll just hope for the best as a driver i can't really make those suggestions for the restaurant you need to call them to request something like this and most of the time the bag will already be done especially in mcdonald's and i do have a warming bag well let's just hope that they take into consideration that it's a pickup order and they may need to pack it a little bit differently than if it was picking up in my car taking it home i'm sure everything will be fine so no worries on my side i'm located at the corner of blank where there's an intersection with a traffic light my building may have a red zone available in their front for easy delivery on the front corner if someone's not trusting their luck parking there there's no parking meter there so people shouldn't be parking their car there but it looks like you're almost here so remember the door code is 5982 my little guard dog is obviously in control bravo to both of you then the choosing beggar sends yet another picture of her dog to this door dash driver do you have any interest in doing some dog walking assignments it pays cash dude i'm working stop sending me pictures please she really wouldn't be a lot of trouble okay sorry for that thanks again for the speedy delivery okay like i said before my wife and i order a ton of doordash we probably do it at least three times a week every single week it's kind of like the one thing that we spend a lot of money on so we get literally hundreds of food deliveries to our house every year and i'm not exaggerating when i say that this woman in this single exchange has texted more individual words to their door dasher then my wife and i have collectively across all of our door dash orders very rarely we'll have to call the door dash driver because there'll be some problem or confusion and we'll have to resolve it with them so my assumption is that most people are like me they just don't send long essays to their door dash driver because why do they need all this unnecessary information but is this common is this a thing that like people do with their door dash drivers like hi there here's a picture of my puppy would you like to walk him for me what lady i'm just here to pick up a bag drive it to your place and drop it off what are you talking about with pictures of your dog our next reddit post is from isabella there's some context needed for this story my brother is very tall like six foot five tall whenever he and i go back east for vacation we get aisle seats and comfort plus for that oh so necessary few extra inches of leg room it's the only seat that he can fit in we boarded fairly early and settled in very quickly as the boarding process continued a woman approached my husband and asked him to switch seats with her she explained that she wanted to sit next to her husband who was in the seat next to my brother but she ended up being seated a few rows back he says yes and goes back to her seat he quickly realizes that she failed to mention that she was seated in economy which poses a huge problem because he can't fit there he comes back and very kindly explains the problem and also explains that he paid extra for comfort plus for a reason her face completely changes color and anger as she starts lecturing him on how unfair it is that he won't give up his seat he stands there unwavering until she goes back to the seat that she did pay for and he sits back down comfortably in his own seat eye mouth what the hell to him and he just laughs and shrugs she never asked for a flight attendant for help in being seated next to her husband i finally realized that they probably planned to buy only one comfort plus seed and then rely on the kindness of strangers for a free upgrade man if she really really cared about sitting next to her husband then her husband could have offered to trade seats with whoever was sitting next to her because that person probably would have been delighted to get a free comfort plus upgrade but no they don't want that they want to sit in the nice free extra legroom spaces that someone else pays for our next reddit post is from flaming depression i was fresh out of high school and getting tired working one part time in two casual jobs so i interviewed with a friend of a friend to be a caretaker for her kids the interview went well if not slightly creepy karen kept saying how pretty both her and her husband thought that i was and how if this arrangement goes well then we could look into you moving in with us that might have been innocent but it didn't seem like it she went on this long tirade about how her past daycare was abusive for not feeding her child when he threw a tantrum and he refused to eat the lunch at daycare provided him but she later admitted to me that her son was given snacks throughout the day so anyways then the karen described what the job entailed i would work 40 to 48 hours a week i had to take their kids a male toddler and a female baby somewhere exciting every day but she said don't take them to the same old park every day i was to clean go shopping prepare food for her kids throughout the day and cook them supper at least twice a week she said she doesn't want that frozen garbage and it would be amazing if i could come home to a home-cooked meal that i didn't have to cook wink wink after the interview i went home only to realize that in all the chaos i never asked how much i was going to be paid so i messaged her and she replied how does 11 dollars per hour sound i was excited even though the job seemed like a lot of hard work and paid a little less in my other jobs i got way more hours so i accepted later we were talking about what day i would start and she said we'll start you off on the agreed-upon eleven hundred dollars per month if after one month you're doing a good job we can change it to twelve hundred dollars wait what i messaged her immediately huh you told me i'd be making eleven dollars per hour that is ridiculous that's more than i pay at daycare i never said that i then sent her a screenshot where she literally said eleven dollars per hour whoops i must have hit the punctuation wrong i meant eleven hundred dollars per month but why didn't you clarify that it was per month um because you didn't ask she then tried negotiating payments well we could probably pay 1200 right now but that would mean no raise for quite some time after that i told her that i was not going to do it because i would legit be making like five bucks an hour she then left me four voicemails saying that i was being very selfish unprofessional and i should have brought this up sooner i then just ghosted her i then heard from the friend that introduced me to karen that she was forced to go back into her old daycare also keep in mind that these people were very well off too long didn't read karen made me think that i was going to make minimum wage then said it was a typo you're going to make five bucks an hour also i might have ended up in a threesome okay so this lady expected to hire a live-in nanny slash housekeeper slash personal chef slash threesome mistress for less money than she was spending on a daycare okay okay makes sense down in the comments we have this story from maggie i had almost the exact same situation happen when i was around 18 years old the mom said she was paying quote 250 per week so i jumped on that at the end of a very long first week 48 hours total i gotta check for a hundred and twenty dollars karen said you agreed to 250 uh yeah and this is only 120 bucks that's the correct amount for the time you worked 48 hours times two dollars and fifty cents oh hell no those kids were monsters and the mom was almost always home expecting me to take care of the kids and wait on her hand and foot i never went back i got a couple of whiny messages which i ignored also last but not least i'm not a young woman so i can only imagine here but if i were a young girl and i were advertising for like a a babysitting slash nanny job and during the interview the wife was like my husband thinks you're so hot then i think that would be my cue to gtfo so i'm an artist and someone messaged me saying that they absolutely loved my artwork and they wanted me to illustrate an entire children's book for them i gave them a quote of 150 bucks to do the entire book and they promptly replied that my artwork is way overpriced and they weren't going to pay an illustrator that much well good luck with your book lady so for some context here i actually looked into hiring an artist to make a kids book because i was thinking about making a kids book for my young daughter and the price to hire an illustrator for an entire children's book is close to about a thousand to fifteen hundred bucks so this price is a steal i'll be in the market for a nanny not just a babysitter in the upcoming couple of weeks i have a one-year-old boy and three-month-old girl i work from home from eight to five and i'll be leaving for my second job as soon as i clock out at home hours will be roughly 1pm to 8 pm i need someone interactive with my son he wants someone to play with him no i don't expect constant play i need lighthouse work done sweeping dishes mopping etc my husband will be home anywhere between six to seven pm each night pay is forty dollars per day three to four days a week i'm looking to do interviews and learn about people soon please dm me if you're truly reliable and interested and then someone asks so six dollars an hour for babysitting and lighthouse work yes especially with me and my husband being here for like 95 of the time are you interested man it's so weird because i've read so many of these posts of karen's expecting people to come watch their kids for like one dollar an hour or less than one dollar an hour that at this point i'm so jaded that six dollars per hour seems like a good deal but it's not i'm just so used to all these people who think that like people come watch their snot-nosed kids for next to nothing and how is her and her husband being home during this a selling point that just means that in addition to working for next to nothing you also have to be under the constant supervision of two bosses on this next post op is selling a gecko i've researched so much will you take 25 bucks for everything i'll come get it asap uh no thank you i'll take 45 for everything if you can answer some basic questions about taking care of it i can but i'm not interested anymore well okay thanks i hate rude people watch your effing mouth next time and maybe you won't lose a sale because i would have paid full price [ __ ] learn some manners op really made the right call here if this guy got this triggered over basically nothing then i don't know if this guy is super suited to be taking care of another animal on this next post op is trying to sell a hoodie online hi i have a question are you able to send me a hoodie in the mail because my husband is high risk he had triple bypass surgery and he's out of a job due to medical issues and money is very tight right now for us my husband is a first responder and he's on permanent disability right now i'll post a good review also my wedding anniversary is october 31st man disabled and jobless and it's her wedding anniversary i'm surprised that she didn't just say that she has triplets and each of her kids has a worse form of cancer than the last in fact they have mega cancer where if one gets cancer they all get cancer and if one dies they all die that was our slash choosing beggars and if you like this content check out my podcast where i publish the exact same episodes also hit that subscribe button because i put out new reddit videos every single day

Channel: rSlash

Views: 381,123

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, choosingbeggars, beggar, r/choosingbeggars, choosing beggar, choosing

Id: HIUT4Ln7U_s

Length: 15min 10sec (910 seconds)

Published: Wed Nov 17 2021