r/Bestof My Husband Forced Me to Get Plastic Surgery

welcome to r/b of redditor updates where op's fiance forces her to get surgery that she doesn't want our next Reddit post comes from r/ relationship advice I'm a 26-year-old woman and I've been engaged to my fiance who's 37 for 6 months we're getting married next spring our relationship has not been easy and we dated for 2 years before getting engaged and he broke up with me once in between for 5 months right now I'm so conflicted there was a time that I would was so eager to be engaged to him and now I'm lost first off I kind of had to give him an ultimatum to get engaged to which he responded that he hasn't proposed all this time because of something related to my looks that he's not attracted to he asked me to get a specific plastic surgery to correct this issue and that he would pay for it and only then was he willing to get engaged so I went ahead and got the surgery anyways we got engaged and I can tell that he's not really attracted to me because the surgery didn't really make a difference he doesn't compliment me doesn't really touch me or initiate things with me he doesn't complain or bash my looks but he doesn't Rave about my looks either but this isn't the worst of it I'm currently in grad school and he works full-time and makes over $500,000 a year he's paying for the wedding and has rubbed it in my face on two occasions about how I contribute nothing and that I basically never have the right to complain about anything ever because he works so hard to pay for things I just don't know if I'm making a huge mistake getting married to him I don't want to be miserable I'm so anxious I don't feel like he loves me he pushes me away when he's having a bad day and he doesn't talk to me I just feel kind of neglected in the relationship but I also don't want to be a victim and consider maybe he's right about some things breaking an engagement off is so embarrassing and this would be his second broken engagement and I don't want to do that to him I just feel really lost how do I go about this also to those who ask what good qualities he has I initially thought that he was very kind he helps the poor and he goes on medical mission trips he's a doctor he's funny and we actually get along really well when things are good also I love his parents so much and I really feel for them they're older and they want grandkids and they want to see their son married but I don't think they realize how mean he can be I'm not going to pretend that his money isn't appealing I didn't grow up with a lot of money and I watched my parents struggle as immigrants I always wanted to make sure my kids will grow up in a financially stable environment I'm not really gold digging because I'm not a materialistic person I don't care for expensive things I just don't want to struggle like my parents did to those who think that I could get a prenup or a divorce our culture and Community is very strict I probably should have mentioned that we're Middle Eastern not Muslims we do not get divorced it's not an option in our church also he ended the first engagement not her he said that she became too obsessed with the wedding planning and it felt like a different personality of her had come out after she secured the ring then 2 Days Later op posted an update we broke up today 48 hours after my initial post and thousands of people on Reddit begging me not to get married the wedding is off this is how it went he picked me up because we had our engagement photo shoot today he's been depressed for over a month now because of a real estate lawsuit that he started he's already been putting me on the back burner because of the lawsuit and gives me zero attention he acts like I'm an added stressor in his life so I'm already fed up with his mopy attitude he starts going off about how he's not in the mood to take pictures today and it's hard for him to smile how drained and unhappy he feels over the lawsuit I literally exploded on him with everything that happened I couldn't take it anymore I told him I've never had such a literal Manchild in my life for him to break down over a lawsuit that he started that he's not fit to ever be the man the Sole Provider of a family to face real troubles in life he's never had any real issues in his life he's a literal Manchild I told him that he never acknowledged how insane it is that I went and got surgery just for him to find me more attractive he never recognized the care and sacrifices I've made for him I did take ownership of letting the relationship drag out as far as an engagement after he showed me time at After Time how unfit he is to be a life partner that part is my fault I ignored the red flags and kept having hope that he would change one day I thought maybe if I brought him a child he would start to appreciate me more that maybe seeing me as a mother he would start to love me I am so glad that it didn't last long enough to find out we didn't make it to the photo shoot obviously he ended up driving me back home sadly we wasted the poor photographer's time my fiance's reaction throughout all this was was very minimal it was so cold he would look down and look sad but it looked like he was pretending he said he was sorry and he thought that I deserve better than him he said that his emotional battery had run out that was the end of it I gave him the ring back and told him that we're never speaking again I'm not even sad I feel so relieved I feel lighter thank you all so much I like this post from rainy reminder the only surgery this poor woman needed was a douche ectomy our next Reddit post comes from r/ relationship advice what a way to start a post my husband will only eat chicken nuggets grilled cheese and Spaghetti O that's it when we go over to our friends places he'll actually bring some SpaghettiOs to heat up in their microwave instead of eating anything else even if our friends cooked a wonderful meal if we go out somewhere to eat he'll only order chicken nuggets off the kids menu if they don't have them he just won't eat eat man I hope for her sake man I hope for her sake that he at least eats one other thing if I try to cook literally anything except one of his three food groups he'll claim he's allergic to some random ingredient instead of just outright saying that he doesn't want to eat it he'll then try to guilt me for he sorry this is so dumb he'll then try to guilt me for forgetting his allergy spoiler we've been to the doctor and he's not allergic to anything my husband just turned 36 this month his food habits were sort of cute SL acceptable when we were in college and eating like trash but now I'm genuinely worried about his health I also find myself avoiding any sort of dining situation with our friends which is so much harder than it sounds I've tried talking to him about his eating habits and he just brushes me off since I don't cook his meals he doesn't think that I have the right to dictate what he can and can't eat I'm not his mother I'm his wife but I just want my husband the man I love to be healthy what do I do also Opie clarifies in the comments that she met her husband when she was 19 and he was 32 so they were legal then the next day Opie posted an update so I did it I confronted my husband when he came home I brought up arfid which is avoidant restrictive food intake disorder he seems sort of relieved that it's a fairly common disorder some of you absolutely called it he explained that he was extremely embarrassed and defensive when I tried to bring up the issue with him before when I explained how much it hurt me when he shut me down he seemed genuinely surprised he had no idea this issue was so important to me I'll admit I did cry a bit when I told him how worried I was about him eating himself into an early grave his foods are not healthy and by the end of our conversation we both agreed to work together to overcome this we'll be going to coup's therapy this weekend at a local Clinic from there we'll look into seeing a dietitian and a specialized counselor for his eating just disorder however I called his mother while he was at work I asked her about his eating habits as a kid if there was any foods he sort of liked or anything he was really adverse to I like the idea of making weekly meal prep together so there's no surprises and we can collaborate on solely introducing new foods his mother is a very sweet woman and told me all the foods that he would sort of eat and everything he refused to eat but she offhand mentioned that he has sensory processing issues due to his autism I asked her to elaborate and she did it turns out he was diagnosed with autism as a kid he even went to an after school physical therapist for many years to deal with his sensory issues he never told me any of this when I spoke to him I didn't know how to bring it up so I just didn't I'm so worried he'll deny it or he'll get angry with me for speaking to his mother behind his back since he obviously doesn't want me to know I feel lied to and manipulated I don't know how to bring it up with him because right now I'm I'm just starting to process it I'm angry that he never told me his food issues are one thing but not telling me about his autism is another it's more and more obvious to me that the man I married isn't who I think he is and he's been lying to me for years right now I'm telling myself to wait until counseling this weekend before confronting him I don't want our conversation to be out of anger but I also don't know how I could ever trust him again if he was so willing to keep such a big secret from me then 2 months later op posted an update I confronted him about my conversation with his mother the Night Before Our counseling appointment I made sure to bring it up casually so I didn't become angry again he tried to brush me off at first saying that he didn't know what I was talking about after a bit he eventually confessed that he not only knew of the diagnosis but deliberately kept it from me he said that I was his dream and he didn't want to do anything to ruin our perfect relationship I explained how I could have been there to support him instead of feeling like he needed to hide he said that he wasn't ashamed of it at all he explained that it's just not something that affects him anymore I again explained that it was affecting me but he didn't seem to care we went to bed both upset the next day he acted like nothing happened we ate breakfast he had chicken nuggets and went about our day I kept expecting him to bring it up but he never did I didn't have the nerve to bring it up again until later at the marriage counselor's office I spoke to the counselor so as to not seem accusing and explained that this was an issue that bothered me my husband actually laughed and said that he assumed I'd gotten over it by now when I explained that no I really hadn't he got angry with me and stormed out the counselor tried to mediate but it wasn't much use because my husband went to wait in the car I was worried that he would leave without me so I cut the meeting short our ride home was quiet it wasn't until we got home that I said that I was worried he was keeping other things from me too he said that he had been reading online about how how women can't understand autism and therefore he didn't think that it was important to tell me about it I said that was the weakest excuse I'd ever heard he then said that I would leave him if I knew the truth I said that if I left him it'd be because he's a liar apparently he told all of our mutual friends that he had just been diagnosed with autism and I was considering leaving him because of it now many of our friends won't talk to me and act very cold when we run into each other in public I don't know what else he's told them but but I think he told someone that I cheated on him because a fake account has been commenting horrible things about me and my supposed sexual habits on my Instagram posts I keep reporting them but then another account pops up in its place I haven't decided if divorce is the right path I know he's been browsing incel and other bitter male Centric websites so I'm even more convinced that this isn't the man I married I'm mostly just confused I've been avoiding him at home and it feels like more of a rum situation at this point he doesn't really leave his den until it's time for work and then he's back in the den until bid yo op you approached your husband out of concern and just like being worried about him and his response is to get angry at you and then start a preemptive smear campaign lying to all of your friends about you being a cheater what I think you do need to leave this guy not because of his autism or because of his eating habits but because he's a walking red flag does this guy even love you or is he just with you because you're 10 years younger than him our next Reddit post comes from r/ am I the butthole am I the butthole for telling my sister-in-law to butt off and let me eat my food the way that I want I'm a 36-year-old white girl who married into a Japanese family my husband's family has never really accepted me because I'm white but they're not that bad most of the time usually they're just cold but my sister-in-law is very hostile especially when it comes to food I don't like sushi and my sister in-law always tried to get me to eat it and has yelled at me for things like using too much soy sauce eating my dumpling hole and not dipping it in sauce first mixing wasabi with my soy sauce drinking sake with rice Etc recently we went out for dinner with them for my birthday I'm okay with chopsticks but I still struggle with them sometimes I was trying to pick up a piece of meat and I just used one of the Chopsticks to stab the meat and eat it my sister-in-law immediately started yelling at me saying that I was disrespectful I told her that I would eat my food however I liked and to please mind her own business she always does this and I've had enough people can eat however they like I'm sick of her picking at my food habits she said that I was being disrespectful to her culture I told her that how I chose to eat food is my choice and to mind your own business things got ugly and I left my husband stayed with them I've been married to him for 5 years dating for seven I've learned his language and speak Japanese with his family his family has had none of that same respect for me to this day none of his family has ever tried Egyptian food or tried to learn the language I've been expected to learn Japanese even though they speak perfect English we live in Europe yet I'm always expected to conform to his culture am I the butthole then the next day op posted an update me and my husband talked today and I asked him to go live with his family we will be divorcing I guess I never wanted to admit to myself how bad things were and how disrespectful his family was I learned their Customs when they didn't learn mine I celebrated their holidays when they didn't bother to do the same yet to them and apparently to many people on Reddit I'm the disrespectful one I think my husband wanted his exotic fantasy because while I am white I do have ethnic features because of my dad regardless we're done that was r/b bestof redditor updates and if you like this content check out my podcast where I publish the exact same episodes also hit that subscribe button because I put out new Reddit videos every single day

Channel: rSlash

Views: 213,156

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, bestof, r/bestof, bestofredditorupdates, r/bestofredditorupdates

Id: SdlqQDvz4A8

Length: 15min 2sec (902 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 08 2024