r/AmITheA**Hole For Being 'Disgusting' Infront Of My Fiance's Family To Prove A Point?

g'day there guys have you had your morning coffee yet and if not what's wrong with you it's your main man marky and welcome back to another episode of r am i the a-hole now if you love today's bloody good content i want you to sit back relax chuck a prawn on the barbie and what would you know enjoy today's bloody good content thank you posted by user ibig titled am i the a-hole for being disgusting in front of my fiance's family to prove a point disclaimer discussions of poop so i'm a semi vegan i have lactose intolerance gluten sensitivity not to be confused with celiac and irritable bowel syndrome i get teased a lot for my dietary choices mostly because people think i'm a preachy pita arse but in reality i'm fighting a constant battle to not crap my pants i also get people thinking i have an eating disorder because i'm relatively petite and can't eat 99 of food and spend a lot of time in the bathroom i do eat occasional fish or baked chicken but 99 of my diet is plant-based red meat is a no-go no dairy and i don't eat grains which sucks because i love bread so even much over the weekend my fiance and i went to his parents house they wanted to give us an engagement dinner we've been engaged for three months now but we live a ways away at the dinner was mum step dad younger brother and grandma they know of my food aversions they know i just eat rabbit food i've been with my fiance four years now but at the dinner they served very well seasoned chicken and sausage jambalaya with cornbread and smothered potatoes i have lived my entire life in the southern us surrounded by delicious food i cannot digest i was really hurt it felt like i was ignored my fiance asked if there was anything i could eat since it was almost completely against my dietary restrictions their response was i should just live a little and i needed some meat on my bones anyway after all we were celebrating i should enjoy myself well i excused myself and my fiance asked if i wanted to leave i said no i'm used to it i didn't want to come off as stuck up so i ate the food not a lot but enough to be polite and listen it was effing good i'll admit it but less than an hour later i felt the rumbles you know the ones where a deluge is imminent we were all chatting in the living room the night was winding down but i knew i wouldn't make it all the way back home i excused myself to the restroom but at the last second i decided rather than go to the guest bathroom on the other side of the house i'd go to the half bath next to the living room so i went in all my loud stinky glory i went it lasted maybe five minutes but the damage was immeasurable the bathroom stunk and when i came out it was obvious everyone heard it was awkward i said sorry sensitive stomach you know and we left shortly after my fiance was embarrassed and we fought on the car ride home he said i did it on purpose and it was disgusting and i shouldn't have been so petty we could have just left why would i act so immature etc i wasn't sorry i said his family knew about my problems but ignored me i couldn't help it so read it was i being an ass i don't think you particularly suck morally in this situation but i do think you're the a-hole to yourself for giving yourself diarrhea just to prove a point to your in-laws that's just a bad trade-off isn't it like your choices were either one eat the food they knew you cannot digest healthily and feel the results or two refuse the food and make everyone upset i don't exactly know what your husband expected you to do in this situation since it's a lose-lose regardless they probably still would have heard and smelt what the rock was cooking halfway across the house anyway if you'd used the other bathroom your husband's reaction to this makes me think that he doesn't have your back like you think he does that could potentially be a problem don't you think i'm gonna go not the a-hole though now in the comments the shadowpeople9 says not the a-hole they should have made some food that you could eat too what they did was flat out rude maybe now they'll respect your dietary needs i disagree fiance would have left and stood up for the op in the appropriate manner being clear that it's not opie choosing not to live but rather that she can't eat those foods instead she decided to turn her fiance down and be incredibly passive-aggressive are her future in-laws ignorance yeah is being aggressive and yes gross the way to remedy that absolutely not next time op when your fiance offers to leave take him up on it edit to add since a lot of people keep saying something to the effect of and crab her pants or being forced to eat the food for years until she snapped read the paragraph where her fiance took the lead asked his parents where the food for opie was and upon hearing there was none asked opie if she wanted to leave again she will not be forced to eat the food and she will not be crapping her pants in the car or otherwise if she simply leaves which her fiance offered to do her fiance was willing to set a clear boundary and enforce it sure if he wasn't willing to do that opie would have been in the right and the comments about leaving the fiance might be valid but that's not the case here what op did was not the right choice given the other options available to her she willingly and knowingly ate the food that she did not need to i think i should also add that i have these exact same issues i know opie's pain however she made the choice to eat the food after she had the choice to leave she did not eat the food and then fiance offered to leave so this whole thing about crapping in the car is completely invalid now how to fix our democracy rebuts that and says i mean in my opinion this permanently solved the problem if they had left the hosts would have thought that she was petty and would have done it again now they know she was very clearly not making it up or exaggerating and they will probably respect her diet in the future i agree sometimes you have to prove it edit had a manager that didn't believe in migraines so i stayed with the migraine and you know with migraines can come vomiting which can come with zero warning so i brought the poor maintenance guys some cookies a few days later now the manager gets it butted white bread says not the a-hole and your fiance needs to evaluate his priorities he should be embarrassed by his parents being such a-holes not of you he's the biggest a-hole here in my opinion but he offered to leave he has the right priorities opie said it wasn't a problem and she would stay she didn't include that she would teach his parents a lesson the hard way on why she eats rabbit food this is on op by offering opie to make the decision to leave it would end up being op's fault that the dinner is ruined he should have told his parents it was unacceptable and told them that they were leaving so i guess what do you guys think about this one there's a lot of good points being brought up here and i agree with aspects of both sides of the argument but i still think it's not the a-hole on this one i kind of do feel like they had to learn the hard way since i wouldn't want them continuing this behavior if i was in op's shoes let me know down below what you guys think our next post is by user psychedelic corp psycho titled am i the a-hole for making a scene when i found out my sister put my niece up for adoption when she had her son so my sister had a second child and we were all thrilled for her she lives a few states over and we haven't seen her this last year she had one child two years ago with her boyfriend and the other one was born last month yesterday we had a family zoom meeting to see the baby and had to say hi to my other nibbling we get on and the family starts to load in everyone is basically there thrilled to see the baby we get to meet her new baby boy after a bit i asked to see my niece as well my sister got quiet and very quietly said she doesn't have her my aunt questioned this and i was also confused after a few minutes my sister said that in the beginning of january she had put her daughter up for a closed adoption because she couldn't care for two kids everyone lost it the whole zoom was a mess we didn't know we never got to say goodbye she didn't have to do this because any of us would have taken my niece hell i could have taken her i've had multiple miscarriages and fertility issues and although i'm currently pregnant i am stable owning a home and have the resources to have taken a toddler as well as have my baby important my sister has always also said that she wanted to be a boy mom so i lost it i called my sister a narcissistic expletive i asked her when she'd get bored of the new baby and get rid of that one too i asked her how the hell she could do this without reaching out to family i know my sister and i know deep down she just didn't want a daughter she was depressed when she found out she was having a girl but thrilled for this entire recent pregnancy i called her a monster for making children she didn't want to care for like they were a novelty i said some other things too at this point my grandmother is a complete mess and says her chest hurts so i stop my aunt who is with my grandmother goes to help her and turns off the camera my grandmother ended up having a panic attack that they thought was a heart attack at first i am so glad she is okay my sister has since cut off all contact from the entire family my father is pissed at me for blowing up i was the only one who did and says that i pushed her away he said he could have tried to convince her to reverse it but my verbal lashing completely ruined any chance of getting my niece back i don't think he understands what a closed adoption means also adoption takes a minute so for her to have it completed by january makes me feel this process was in place for a minute i don't think there's any chance of seeing my niece again when the mother and father both signed her to be adopted he's mad at me because now he lost his granddaughter and is afraid that he'll never know his grandson my dad thinks i'm an ass for freaking out and nearly giving my grandmother a heart attack i'm feeling guilty that my grandmother had such an extreme reaction but i feel that's because she lost her great granddaughter yikes honestly i absolutely think they're terrible people for doing a closed adoption like that i didn't even know what a closed adoption was until just now and that's absolutely terrifying to get that news out of the blue like that i feel like it's absolutely unjustified that those parents so willingly adopted out their child like that from what i can assume is purely gender-based discrimination they had so many other options to adopt the child out to their other family members but instead they chose to do this in secrecy that was never going to end well and yes i understand the argument for the child being with a family that actually wants it is better than two resentful parents who are going to neglect them but that ideal family option is available without having a closed adoption there is no context available to change my opinion on this one i'm going not the a-hole your anger was and is justified op now in the comments caged jaybird says not the a-hole for a moment i misread it and thought she put up the newest baby for adoption which if she was worried about being able to support two children i would have understood though with her knowing you're interested in adoption i would have thought that she was a little bit of an ass however after realizing that instead she adopted out her two-year-old i'm just utterly second and stunned i have memories from being two years old so this is a child who was aware enough to remember her parents and other family this is a child who loved them unconditionally who understood what love is i'm just so sick at the thought of this and cat landed replies apologies for jumping on top comments and i know this is very dark but i think op needs to contact the police to check that the girl was in fact legally adopted by a family i have trouble believing a social worker or any legit agency would allow this without question therapy or intervention or even contacting family my fear is that the sister did this under the table to people who were not vetted or could be traffickers or worse like kaylee anthony was supposedly with a babysitter a closed adoption sounds like a great excuse as to why no one will ever see this niece again and have no way of checking up on if she was safe also is the boyfriend okay or is it possible he's abusing her and pushed her to do this since op's profile is legit and not a throwaway i have deep concerns and questions about this ento p replies i'm glad i kept the thread open while i worked i see your comment and i'm going to contact the authorities to do a welfare check to look into where my niece went and edit two of the previous comments thanks y'all for drawing op's attention to my comments i believe they have commented stating that they will be contacting authorities and getting a lawyer and hopefully their niece is safe and sounds let's try not to get too graphic about the possibilities my citing the kaylee anthony case was due to the similarities and i wanted to underline the importance of having the proper authorities confirm the knee safety because you cannot be too safe when it comes to children's welfare and lives and metalmorian says absolutely i find it ridiculous to believe the social worker and there had to be a social worker if it were a legal adoption would not interview the family of the two-year-old for possible placement like any social worker we'll look at a mom who says i can't afford two kids so i'm giving up my oldest and offer ways to help or place the child with family as a first result if she really doesn't just want the kid that kid has ties relationships family no social worker would ignore that something is very fishy here so i have a cousin we're a huge stable family she had multiple stable siblings her parents were together at the time like any of us could have taken a kid cousin is a bit of a drug head at the time and had her third daughter her middle daughter is around two at the time all of a sudden she's on facebook saying her best friend adopted the middle kid and no one in her family knew there was no interviews of the family nothing i know the baby is safe because i went in stalked profiles and my aunt and uncle did know the adopting family the family adopted her and then cut all contact with my cousin they were clean and just wanted a baby so it can be done i don't know how and it feels wrong but it can be done and back to op's post they say editor updates i've contacted local cps for my sister's area local courts and i have a lawyer looking into it for me starting tomorrow as i just obtained him thank you for the helpful comments pointing out the issues with this especially thank you to those in social work who reached out to me privately i didn't realize how many options i had to fight this or to see if this was legit i'll update when i find out more from the lawyer lots of people commenting this is fake i really wish it was this has been a nightmare thank you again to those with helpful suggestions and feedback so i guess it may be a little while till we get an update on this one and i will definitely read it out when i can get to it let me know you guys's thoughts and opinions on this one because it's a real profile it's not just a throwaway i'd love to know what you guys think of this down to the comments and our next post is by user nanny co-parents titled am i the a-hole for saying i co-parent with the nanny in front of my ex-husband and his family so my ex-husband and i have been separated for a year and will more than likely be starting the divorce process any day now ever since we split up my ex has hired a nanny to help him with child care of our two kids during his time the nanny usually does pickups and drop-offs originally i would try to communicate things about the kids directly to him but i could barely get in touch with him he always made some excuse about how work was busy but i feel like he should at least respond to my emails about the kids quickly and that it was his responsibility to make sure the nanny had the relevant information too eventually i got fed up with having to hound him every single time he needed information about the kids and since the nanny does almost all of the child care when they're with their dad i decided to just communicate with her directly i do still update my ex too but now i only send him one email and it's up to him to make the effort to read and respond to it this has worked really well for the kids and they seem to be doing a lot better during their time with their dad now since the nanny makes the necessary adjustments for them it was my ex-mother-in-law's birthday and she asked me to bring the kids because my ex wasn't sure if he would be able to go i still have a good relationship with my ex-in-laws and i didn't want my kids to miss out on time with their family so i agreed my ex ended up showing up towards the end of the day i haven't had to see my ex face to face in a very long time and he's always known how to push my buttons i was trying to be civil to him for the kid's sake but he kept baiting me when no one else was in earshot my mother-in-law made a comment about how she was so proud of us being able to co-parent so well after everything my ex had whispered a sly comment to me not two minutes before my mother-in-law made her comment so i was already quietly fuming so i responded with yes i really enjoy co-parenting with the nanny she's fantastic my ex and his family weren't amused and i received a lot of backlash from all of them my ex accused me of calling him a deadbeat and said he didn't want me talking to his nanny anymore because i should be communicating directly with him am i the a-hole rp has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole i believe i'm the a-hole because my mother-in-law was just trying to be nice and i made things awkward by saying what i said also my ex does have a hectic work schedule but he does a lot for our kids so it wasn't fair to imply that he was a bad dad i get that honestly it's hard to see things in grey when stories seem to be so black and white on am i the a-hole maybe we just had to be there in person to see if the delivery in context was slightly different to your interpretation of events to see things from your perspective and you may be kinda sorta being an a-hole for this one maybe he is a great guy and just works 24 7 but doesn't make the time and effort for his kids and you implying he was a bad dad was somehow unjustified who knows but from what you've given me so far i'm of the belief that he truly doesn't make the time and effort for those kids perhaps there's more nuance and if i was in your shoes it would be different but i can confidently say you're not the a-hole for this interaction yes your mother-in-law was just trying to be nice but maybe this was the kick up the ass your ex needed in order to get his act together the mother-in-law may have reacted badly initially to that comment but it just may have started a fire under your ex's ass now with your mother-in-law being more informed about just how little involvement he has in his children's lives such poor form from him to put all of that on a babysitter that's really not their job to be handling this so yeah my judgment for this one is not the a-hole now in the comments throwaway96 says i'm sorry but when he's not making an effort to communicate with you to coordinate around the kids and makes every excuse in the book to make himself unavailable then you have every right to say what you said he's offended because he didn't think that you'd call him out in front of his family and probably painted a picture that he's doing a much better job than he is doing not the a-hole she's not the a-hole but she just made her life a whole lot harder i'm not sure i could have bitten my tongue either but being not the a-hole isn't enough when kids are involved yeah much like dealing with crazy roommates posts this is a you're right and you've had to put up with way too much bullcrap but you're simply in a crappy position where you need to be extremely measured and strategic in how you advocate for yourself regardless of fairness situation the difference is the consequences of not having superhuman self-control will rebound to her kids more than her it's not really suited to this forum since op has to consider a lot more than who's in the right it's not fair that her x is such a vindictive pissy deadbeat but that's life i think that's a big blind spot for this sub given the structure are you the a-hole no was this a productive way to handle this problem that ultimately will achieve the best possible outcome for you also no there was a better way to respond that would have saved you a lot of grief for sure you were annoyed with your ex at the same time so you wanted to get back at him you could have said something like thanks but the nanny has been a huge help we definitely couldn't do it without her you could then subtly lead the conversation to reveal that she does all the work with the kids and your ex does almost nothing there's also remaining silence not every comment needs a response rit post writ says oof that one hit your target perfectly not the a-hole you didn't call him an awful dad you made a joke about how often you talk to the nanny you also complimented him on finding a great nanny well i personally think it's a clear everyone sucks here the x sucks point blank no argument's there he should be a present father and he should already be the one handling the communication with op not the nanny it's ridiculous that he's only now saying he's going to step up rp kind of sucks for dragging the x inlaws into something that didn't involve them but i'll mostly give that a pass since she said the x was purposefully baiting her behind the scenes mostly though i think op was the a-hole to herself yes it's a crappy co-parenting situation as far as the x goes but opie admitted herself that it's actually been working great for the kids plus she also stated it's been less stress for her overall this one comment has at least temporarily caused all of that to come crashing down best case scenario the ex gets over it and everything blows over and either goes back to the way it was or even better the x steps up like he should have from the beginning and they actually start to communicate properly worst case scenario the x stays pissed and vindictive about what went down and fires the current nanny out of pettiness since she's obviously built a good relationship with op and then hires someone new that he can train to not work with op at all edit to add i don't blame opie at all knowing myself i would have said that exact same thing i'm just worried about her and i want everything to work out not the a-hole but i agree the first thing i thought was well the nanny's fired and op replies a lot of people seem to think that he would have fired the nanny or said something to her but he didn't the only thing that has really changed is that he responds much faster now and occasionally drops and picks up the kids himself sounds like it was a win of a comment then op maybe it's what he needed to hear to realize that it was time to be a father sometimes shaming works also maybe somebody told him that not responding to her communications about children won't look well to the courts when it comes time and maybe he realized that when they do actually divorce the current state of affairs wouldn't help him in getting custody op has proof that he is incapable of co-parenting including a witness that also demonstrates disinterest and a lack of engagement on the father's part op is probably getting full custody except every second weekend when she shows every attempt to communicate about the kids is ignored by the father to the point only the nanny is aware of what's happening with the kids hiring a nanny doesn't let you off the hook for being neglectful as a father alright guys i think that's where i'm going to end today's video if you need a good laugh please do check out my second channel monkey2 links down in the description below or it's going to appear somewhere on the screen here at the end little bubble with my face on it as always a big shout out to my patreon and channel members your faces are surrounding me right now and i love to have you guys with me and down in the comment sections of each and every video and just knowing that you're always there to support me it's a humbling and lovely feeling and rest assured i do see you and i do notice your support and i thank you every day for being here and helping me along this journey not much else to say besides that guys um thank you for sticking around to the end of the video i do hope that you have a good day night sleep whatever you're up to i will see you in the next video and thank you again bye

Channel: Markee

Views: 21,691

Rating: 4.9704432 out of 5

Keywords: aita, amitheasshole, r/aita, r/amitheasshole, aita reddit, markee, markee reddit, markee aita, markee amitheasshole

Id: LjJDzDlkqfc

Length: 28min 13sec (1693 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 31 2021