Ralfi's Alley - Sh*ts and Giggles 51

[Music] he's learning fox oh no i'm sorry ralphie oh no oh that was terrible [Music] looking for surprise sex [Music] is it me or does the f-15 seem to uh roll left by default a little bit yes no everything's equilateral equilibrium equivalent equivalent equals sign you mean symmetric symmetrical i had the m61 loaded and sure as [ __ ] [ __ ] it bounced off the [ __ ] [ __ ] helmet that ricochet chance of 20 is more like 20 all the time 20 of the time it ricochets every time [Laughter] by the way are we all drinking right now because i just opened up a bottle of wine yeah i'm drinking i'm on my second cup the [ __ ] you talking about okay so i think we should all change our code names i'm going to be drunk11 you'll be wasted two three and cold can be hammered five four look at my 16. [Laughter] [Music] [Music] that's not me i'm behind you that's hard jesus christ i was gonna taxi over there thanks pocket there's a crater in my way [Music] [Laughter] [Music] like a snake they have 30 planes sorry 32 planes and they have 639 pilots one pilot controls the elevators you need to be lined up first and he does not look lined up to me [Music] he just realized that he needs to oh oh what what's up what are you doing and that's a missed approach right there no don't force it don't force it walter get mad [Music] [Laughter] [Music] you hear me [ __ ] talking to you you [ __ ] [ __ ] no because i don't listen to you is it because he's black is it because i'm black yes it is you uh you on one engine arden uh let me just check uh no still both engines i think i've got a fuel leak i wish i could be a you but you're trailing so much smoke i can't [ __ ] see through it you want me to go to burners uh do what you want baby as long as you don't break up the lights to wick wing breaks off that wouldn't surprise me to be honest yeah the structural integrity of your aircraft is uh rather pitiful right now that was an essay 10 site that hit you or an aircraft i think dsi 10. that's a bus that hit you and yet you're still somehow alive are you sure it's a wise idea to fly close form on me you're fine as long as you don't do anything stupid like fire [ __ ] amrams that are friendly then yeah you should be fine my apologies but i did not have instruments yeah yeah whatever i'm gonna check your left side the sides should be a bit better not by that much well what surprises me is that i still have both tail fins tail fins you mean rudders whatever elevators stabilizers vertical stabilizers stabilizers jesus [ __ ] it's been a long time you know what he's swimming yes swimming in the sea of oxygen even [ __ ] [ __ ] song hey is this a good time to mention that there's abandoned or six o'clock a what oh all your wheels are good uh you made your turn too early though but hey go with it 180 170 you should be fine for the speed okay now get her stopped with w oh [Music] you don't need those wigs anyway welcome home honestly if there's another big white building [Music] [Music] two words never thought you'd [ __ ] see [Laughter] what is that guy doing to her right that was questionable i'm always reminded he's he's not going to make it first time i think i don't have luck anywhere so i just got you an rss gamble shut the [ __ ] up money yeah that's the friendly because as soon as he did a 180 he turned around usually when you do 180 turn around sorry i mean from the raider [ __ ] man shut up rip he's gonna get [ __ ] i'm just waiting for that [ __ ] hunter to just turn it straight oh there it is there it goes [Laughter] you had to say something you [ __ ] westbound [ __ ] what promo my name i don't need [Music] i was laughing because he didn't know it yeah [Music] uh [Laughter] [Music] whatever you do don't move [ __ ] should i move as soon as you move you one step to the left up no it's overlord mcfly my chicken boogie doo my god my god man overlord i think she's just racist against last transmitter your call sign is not valid [Laughter] a flying mcchicken i am but a simple god work with me here i have to remove the m320 smoke from my loadout what a nazi server if it was a nazi server they would be all right with gas data i like those fbi messages again in my chrome browser when looking up explicit images this like diary is it the one where it hard locks your entire screen yeah yeah i found a way around that one in case anybody else gets into like that kind of a porn block ad all you do all you do is press and hold the escape button while you press the x shut up this is serious i know that's what's so funny because you're like no no guys it's serious business like this is real i've had this happen twice you're gonna come crying to me later how do i unlock it oh that hurts it [ __ ] hurts man my stomach it hurts what the [ __ ] who's the f-15 behind me huh don't you hug me i saw all of that okay mouse dp it's already down to 13. what the [ __ ] what is 100 like hold up [Music] [Laughter] [Music] [ __ ] grew up on that guy whenever i was in high school and that [ __ ] little trolley came waltzing through the front door with that big ass crt tv i knew bill nye the science guy was coming at me a little bit [ __ ] you such don't tell him what to do i told you what to do and you didn't [ __ ] listen to me [Laughter] i wonder if anyone's ever used a twinkie wrapper as a condom oh my gosh what the hell dude that was really really random that was beyond random i think you're eating a twinkie and you're looking at the rapper going what if anybody's ever used this as a condom if someone's desperate enough there must have been somebody but you'd have to secure it tightly with a rubber band it acts like a [ __ ] ring right that's like a double oh my gosh i can't believe whatever this discussion so jeff what'd you do last night well a buddy online mentioned something so i had to go down to the shell station and get a twinkie to try it out and it didn't work very well now i have a third kid on the way [Laughter] guess what we'll name him twinkie what service you guys are wonderful pegasus any persian pegasus pegasus gold yes near hercules leave me alone no idea how tiny you are i don't know they let midgets in here dude you see this car your head literally reaches this top [Music] i'm not even joking what the [ __ ] it's like a six-year-old in a costume i've missed kfc i am going to have a head fast no no no [Music] [Music] that is the most depressing thing i've ever heard you know what you're gonna go hang out at kfc [Laughter] where are you at [ __ ] i haven't checked the map in like 15 minutes [Laughter] i zoned out for a while [Laughter] yankee mike five zero oh the arden's got premium cranky doesn't it's even worse you have voice activation so every time you hiccup it's gonna come through do i have to call an ambulance for you okay if you get there [Laughter] stop i can't breathe maybe i should [ __ ] drop the right fuel tank and leave the left one on so it stops [ __ ] turning right i'm literally chanting my thumb underneath my stick and i'm holding it in place so that it stops rolling and climbing too much that's what i did last night it hurts but it's just about as stable as i could get it hey someone jump on top of the mortar and see if it fires oh yeah i forgot to do that too don't die [Music] [Laughter] [ __ ] arden jesus breaks [ __ ] [Music] [Music] [Laughter] [Music] resume well the s11 is engaged again or did you just fire the missile at me why oh [ __ ] holy [ __ ] is right okay i'm going to run into the battlefield with uh with one of these in my hand i'm going to pull the pin now you're sir i accidentally pulled a pin so oh that's right but for the radar does it work for the idol holy [ __ ] my voice and we're back to normal [Laughter] that was crazy i thought something went wrong with my headset for a second uh gentlemen we need to take off asap enemies are over novross as we speak oh god he just did a gun run on me he missed oh no no he's pointing straight at me please somebody oh shoot the f-16 please shoot the f-16 instead come on take off take off is everything orange tint like a quentin tarantino movie what the [ __ ] he's dead sorry it's just a blue one the bullet went right past me this just all panic [Music] oh [Music] so i'm just going to pull the pull the stick back and see what happens okay the whole time i'm taking off [Music] i don't think you're going to recover from that one but i got it i got it i got it i got it this would be a tough one i'm definitely not going to recover from this one oh if i if i can run a little bit if i can run her a little bit if i get rudder you're still there yeah yeah i got you i think he actually got it we might need a new rally though cuz that one's about to go by playing oh yeah well we'll stop one over here from your brain is all over my goggles do you speak russian or polish [Music] excuse me to disappoint sorry he [ __ ] sucked his teeth at me i just landed and then i bounce right back off again off of christ put me on the ground [Music] catch [Music] i tried are you okay i'm fine what do you think of stick also energetically sig yeah is it six hour no sig is in the weapon manufacturer [Music] oh yes [ __ ] i'm [ __ ] yeah a lot of helicopters a surprising amount of choppers here except that one huey what the hell is he doing might be the one that crashed earlier as well oh yeah [Laughter] oh here comes the second one [Laughter] i'm just imagining a rotor blade make shades off the ground slice into my [ __ ] but kills my pile of decapitation yeah there goes the tail rotor is the best mic i've ever had obviously i had serious packet loss back then now i haven't seen pacquiao yo our generation is so [ __ ] like in 15 years when like our generation gets to congress like we'll be throwing out memes during presentations [ __ ] pepe the frog is gonna be on that flag it's gonna be bad gays and nays yeah he's dead okay well he sees it it's gonna just cut right through it or is it gonna become another wreck just going right through it and there he goes okay that's cool okay that's why you're [ __ ] prone [Music] i know you're heavy but damn bro oh you better pull up his gear is that stuck his left gear is stuck he's done i'm not sure if he's gonna be able to launch that okay open gear down that one on the left is gonna be problematic well i mean if he launches the one on the left he'll take care of his gear problem so what's the 96 t at the end of your name gambler i forgot to ask 1996. he was born in 1960 wants everybody to know he was a teen qt's will be quarantined 20 years oh my god don't run them over hey if you don't let me out you got a small pee-pee no not another one not another now it's our turn did you also notice i'm wearing a blindfold into battle are you i am i actually can't use first person i didn't know this oh here let me just try this okay actually there's a problem with that if i scope in i can't see anything eat squad 2019 never forget so is that what your uh your following base is going to be called there ralph eats hashtag eat squad layer of cancer on top of that yep i did it this is not skeet skeet squad oh no you mentioned that better skeet skeet no don't squad eat the skeet squad oh geez there's that two [ __ ] uh [Laughter] but it is [Laughter] there is a suicide hotline stop stop stop stop a suicide hotline to impress you into doing suicide wait no no no no no no no no you mean seriously yeah that's what i meant i'm sorry the suicide hotline just gives you ways of doing it suicide hotline hey i was wondering uh do you think this uh paracord could hold a hundred and eighty five pounds drop five feet how much tylenol do i need to swallow to end it all i mean why not do something cool with it and just like uh crush it into like uh haagen-dazs ice cream i mean go out in a sweet way and go out in the sweet way that's that that's [Laughter] comes with a thousand milligrams of talon the sweetest sleep you'll ever have sponsored by ice cream oh god i'm crying [Music] you

Channel: ralfidude

Views: 60,228

Keywords: ralfidude, ralfi's, alley, dcs, fc3, digital, combat, simulation, flaming, cliffs, battlefield, bf, flight, sim, f-15c, eagle, f-16, viper, sng, sng 51, sng51, sh*ts and giggles, arma, arma3, arma 3, war thunder, VR, pavlov, funny, outtakes, bloopers

Id: 2wcb1sVBNLw

Length: 26min 23sec (1583 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 31 2020