r/AITA WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON’T STICK UP FOR YOUR WIFE! - Reddit Stories

would you be the jerk for not sticking up for your own wife we'll get into that in a bit but first am I the jerk for telling my wife to never volunteer me to help her family again my wife 38-year-old female and I 39-year-old male have been married for 8 years and have a 4-year-old son my wife's younger brother Joe and his girlfriend are moving into an apartment together at the beginning of June but girlfriend's lease is up at the end of April so she needed to move out of her place but Joe currently lives in a studio apartment so he doesn't have room for all her stuff so they were going to move all of girlfriend's stuff into a storage unit for a month until they get their new place together a little over a month ago Joe had asked my wife if we would be able to help them move girlfriend stuff and she agreed my mother-in-law was supposed to watch our sons so we could both help but she fell ill and had to cancel my wife suggested trying to get a babysitter for that day but I didn't want to spend hundreds on a babysitter to help someone move that's dumb and bringing a four-year-old with us would not be helpful to anyone this turned into an argument between us because she said I should help them move while she watches our son since I'm stronger than she is and I know how to drive our truck with a trailer I told her that she should help them and have them rent a U-Haul for the day we compromised by telling Joe that I would help them but they need to get a U-Haul instead of using our truck and trailer then the morning of the move this past Saturday my wife told me that a friend of hers got sweet tickets through work to a hockey game for that day and invited them yes sweet tickets to a playoff hockey game she said she would be bringing our sons since her friend was bringing her kids too great so not only do I get stuck helping someone move but my wife and son get to go have an amazing experience together that I miss out on and yes this was my son's first major sporting event and I was missing it and wouldn't you know it Joe never got a U-Haul and his girlfriend wasn't even close to packed up and ready when I got there I spent 7 to 8 hours and multiple trips back and forth helping them move move all the while my wife is sending pictures to our family group chat of how much fun they're having at the hockey game when everyone was home that night my wife was surprised that I wasn't in a good mood she said that I acted like I barely cared when our son was telling us about the hockey game and how much fun it was I asked her if she was seriously confused about why I was upset and she told me to tell her so I started railing off all the reasons I had to be ticked off she volunteered me to help she got to spend the day doing something very special with our son that I missed out on her brother and his girlfriend were not prepared and I'd spent the entire day doing manual labor I ended my little rant by telling her that she isn't never going to volunteer me to help her family ever again she told me that I was overreacting and I can't hold it against her that her friend invited them to the game she also said that I'm not being fair by blaming her for Joe and his girlfriend Opie has got to not be the jerk here right I think any one of us if we were in the position op was in would all be angry and upset Ashley Buck wrote geez not the jerk she told me I was overreacting and I can't hold it against her that her friend invited them to the game you're not holding it against her that her friend invited them to the game that's ridiculous you're upset that while she volunteered and strong armed you into doing this favor she apparently was having a grand old time how callous do you have to be to not only continuously send pictures of their good time while you're stuck doing something she made you do but then to pretend you're upset because she was invited by a friend I'm guessing you couldn't care less that she was invited I'm guessing what actually hurts is her blatant disregard for your time and energy on top of that missing your son's first like that she also said I'm not being fair by blaming her for Joan's girlfriend remind me who volunteered you for the job also hi I'm Steven and if you guys enjoy getting to decide whether or not all of these people are jerks why not hit those like And subscribe buttons down below that said our next story is am I the jerk for telling my dad and stepmom their home isn't my home my parents had me and pretty soon after they divorced my parents divorce was not amicable I 16-year-old female don't know all the details obviously but I know that bad blood exists on both sides and if you want my suspicions I think they divorced so badly because my dad wanted to set up his own business but my mom didn't want that to happen right after me my dad owns his own business actually he owned two in the first one he had to close up the first one he started right after the divorce which is why I suspect what I do my dad also complained once or twice that mom never supported him so there are issues between my parents when I'm with my mom you would never know it she doesn't vent about Dad badmouth him or try to hide the fact that they were married and had a me together she has some photos of us before the divorce in our living room among the rest of the family photos and while I have issues with my step dad and he's not my favorite person ever he has never complained or tried to erase the fact that he married a woman who had a kid with someone else he never got that part wrong despite our issues but my dad's house is so very different it got worse after remarried my stepmom I'm not supposed to mention my mom at all they don't let me have anything there that my mom bought even my favorite plushy that mom bought me as an infant I can't have a single photo of my mom or my half siblings on her side I used to have a little pinboard of photos and my dad and stepmom went into my room in the past and removed all traces of mom my stepmom even said she burned the photos of mom they've told me in their house they do not want to see my mom and my room is not a compromise so of course I don't like being there I spend 50% of my time here and no the courts won't let me stop coming and they would punish my mom if I stop and the judge told my mom if she doesn't force me to go and stay she would pay after our last attempt a few months ago dad started telling me I don't treat my room like my room or I don't act like it's my home he asked me why I wanted to leave our home on Sunday my dad and stepmom told me I act like I'm a guest in their house and set of part of the family and that it's my home I told them that it's not my home it's their home I told them I can't mention my mom or keep a photo of her in my room I can't do whatever I want with my room like they claim so no all of that means this was never my home I told them I am a guest here half my life and that's all I'll ever be they told me I was being melodramatic and my stepmom called me manipulative am I the jerk it always just shocks me when I hear of parents and especially stepparents like this who after clearly seeing their kid and understanding exactly why their kid is feeling the way they are still refuse to accept that maybe they need to try to get past that and accept that they still want their biological parent in their life lives even worse is the sheer amount of stories like this that pop up where the biological parent had passed away years ago therefore is clearly not competing with them and they still want any trace of them absolutely erased not mentioned and forgotten I think honestly you're kind of just a sick person for trying to erase somebody's biological parents from their lives Grand Dash wrote not the jerk they need to know how you feel because of what they've created at 16 Do the courts not allow you to have a say in and where you spend your time maybe when custody was first agreed you may not have gotten a say but it might be worth asking your mom if it can be looked into and have you spoken with your mom about the situation and how it's affecting you your dad and stepmom are creating a really negative space for you and it's not healthy our next story is am I the jerk for taking my toaster and other kitchen appliances home without telling my roommates I male 21 am temporarily moving back home during a school break leaving behind three roommates in our College house before leaving I packed up some of my appliances including a toaster air fryer toaster oven and a kettle to bring with me the day after I left two of my roommates sent me angry messages questioning why I took all my appliances specifically singling out the toaster they argued that since I already brought home the toaster oven bringing the toaster seemed unnecessary especially since my family already had these appliances my response was simple they're mine what followed was a heated exchange with accus ations of selfishness and even a hurtful comment about me having only child syndrome because I allegedly don't know how to share this struck a nerve considering my sister's passing when I was younger a topic they were aware is sensitive to me I suggested they could easily purchase a toaster as they're inexpensive however they suggested it was about the principle of me taking something I wouldn't even use despite having a toaster at home while it's true I have access to these appliances at home they're still my property I don't believe they have the right to be upset when it's clearly mine so am I the jerk for taking my appliances home or are they overreacting so I kind of feel like it comes down to how specifically special or valuable these appliances are for something like an air fryer or a toaster oven I get it these are a little bit more specialized than basic kitchen appliances you know it's not a guarantee that everybody's going to have those I'll uh clearly you don't own an air fryer but for something like a toaster or a kettle when op specifically is temporarily moving back home if those are Cheapo stuff that you're not actually even going to use while you're temporarily gone like part of me says it is yours you can't really be the jerk but like it is kind of jerkish to take this stuff just because it is yours when those things are going to be meaningless during that temporary time and then you're just I assume going to bring them right back I'm going on Christmas break I'm going to take the living room futon I brought with me it just doesn't make sense right Irish whiskey wrote yeah you're the jerk this is a technically allowed but total dick move situation if you wanted to take them permanently sure they're yours no problem going to all the effort to remove a bunch of appliances for a short break comes across as Petty and mean unless they have a habit of breaking your things or stealing that's not standard practice of course they have a right to be upset you have a right to remove them and they have a right to think less of you and now your relationship with the people you have to live with is damaged and they're unlikely to do you any favors or look out for you not a smart move edit op said later in the comments they were gone for 4 months which is not a school break that's a whole onethird of the year I'm keeping the Judgment the same because taking all of them without any notice was still a bad idea as was telling your roommates you were taking them without any need to do so it's not wrong to remove your things but also leaving the toaster or just giving them a heads up was the difference between having a good relationship with roommates and expecting to come back to annoyed roommates who won't share their own things with you as freely now this next story is am I the jerk for not picking a new color for my house even though my son finds the one we have embarrassing I bought my house 15 years ago it was a fixer uper and needed a lot of work the only thing I kept the house is its painted bright pink the guy I bought it from said it was his deceased father's house he had painted it this way to upset his neighbors I decided I liked the color and kept it the way it was when I married my wife a year later she agreed we now have three kids a 13-year-old boy a 10-year-old girl and an 8-year-old girl we're doing some minor renovations to the house and have decided to touch up the paint as it's been a while my son asked that we painted a normal color because it's embarrassing to live in a pink house we declined and said we like the color ultimately it's our house and we'll be living in it longer than him when we die he's free to Painted what he wants my mother-in-law feels we're being unfair and that we should take into account how it's embarrassing for a teen boy to live in a Barbie house we asked my son if he's being teased and he said no but he hates it our daughters like it Are We Wrong for not painting the house a normal color now not all pinks are created equal I don't know how pink the pink we're talking about in this situation actually is for a long period Of My Life I Lived in a house that was arguably pink and to tell you the truth I never really thought much of it back in my school days I was bringing all my friends over I wasn't worried about them seeing the color of my house and being like wow I didn't know you need your high heels to step inside I honestly think it's better to keep the house that color just to try and challenge his objection to it being too what girly CJ Bay 87 wrote not the jerk I live in a pink house the color was chosen by my husband's grandfather when the house was built it's the only pink house in our area and anytime someone asks where we live we say The Pink House on our street and they all know the house it's on a main road so it sticks out in the sea of traditional colors the story behind the house is my husband's grandfather was known to be a very frugal man when it came to picking a house color he chose what was on sale hence the pink 60 years later and we've never spoke of changing it because we love the story three Generations have been raised in this house there's something very special about seeing the house unchanged over the years as the scenery around it has changed and the people who were raised there are now grown up with families and now us raising our son here I love that his great-grandfather has pics in front of this house and now our son does too our next story is am I the jerk for telling my husband his gift for his son won't be received the way he wants it to be my husband rich and I have been married for 15 years we have two children together ages 13 and 11 Rich has two children from his marriage to his late wife may my step kids are 24 and 23 my stepson is the oldest step-daughter is the youngest when Rich first found out that he was going to be a father he started a scrapbook for his son that had photos and written memories and little momentos added in that he continued throughout the next 25 years he did the same for his three other children as well this book documents everything from fun memories to Sweet and heartfelt ones to even some more heartbreaking ones like the loss of May my husband has decided the Scrapbook will be his gift to his son for his 25th birthday he included all sorts of family photos and moments in the Scrapbook including since we got married and had our kids but both my step kids have been pretty clear that they do not have a fondness for me or for their half siblings and they have no trace of us in their homes when he moved out he left behind photos he was in that included me and my children he half siblings and when my husband mentioned he had forgotten some photos my stepson replied he had double and triple checked and had everything he wanted my step-daughter was a little more clear and she actually tossed any unwanted photos in the trash before she moved out on their social media they post family photos but finally enough they never have me or their half siblings included they never acknowledge Us online at all my step kids both also said they'd like it if their dad didn't bring us because if he's visiting they'd like to see him and only him my husband rushed off that comment by saying he could stop by on his own too but they'd never see the rest of us if we didn't visit I'll say right here that I was not an affair partner nor did I ever expect the kids to forget about their mom or replace me with her nor did I expect my husband to I didn't push myself on them the kids never spoke out against us getting married or brought any issues to me or my husband about us and we did talk to them it really only became a parent after they became adults so when my husband brought up that he was going to gift the Scrapbook to his son for his 25th birthday I asked him if he was sure and he was like why not his son would love it and he couldn't wait for us to all go through it together I told him I wasn't so sure he'd love all of it given his refusal to have photos of me or the kids in his home he told me it's not like he could remove them I didn't comment he asked me what I expected and then asked if I thought he'd rip those pages out or something I said yes he asked why I was being so negative and I told him that given the last several years I really didn't think the gift would be received the way he's expecting my husband told me my negativity was too much and he was unhappy with me thinking of his kids like that am I the jerk if everything is actually true to the degree Opie's describing it I'm really surprised the kids are so hostile you would feel like if they grew up and op was respectful of them they would at least as they grew into adults be respectful I mean to the degree of ripping out Pages out of a book really either way I don't think op is the jerk for pointing out the truth of the situation and the reality that given based on their past behavior that it's likely T night girl wrote not the jerk your hubs is in denial as others are saying I think it might be best to let it go at this point though hopefully the sun doesn't destroy the Scrapbook our next story is am I the jerk for not allowing my in-laws over after they ignored boundaries we set for our newborn my mother-in-law and father-in-law came to visit we had already told everyone no kissing and hand her back if she gets very fussy very simple rules if you ask me she then proceeded to kiss her head and both of them gave snarky comments when again told not to do so I talked with my husband and we went back over our boundaries over the phone with them which his mom cried the entire call saying she didn't recall doing so BS playing the victim tears if you ask me but still we said that we have these boundaries in place and expect them to be followed I still haven't brought up another visit as I just want a break from them now I think this one's pretty simply not the jerk you got to protect your baby and your family you had a very clear rules they violated them to me this is the same thing as somebody seeing a sign that says no urns they take a uturn and they immediately get a ticket crying well I didn't know you couldn't uturn well even if you weren't paying attention there's a posted sign you were told algra o wrote not the jerk stick to your guns whooping C is no joke for newborns anyone who can't follow incredibly reasonable rules like yours absolutely does not deserve access to your child until you deem it safe don't offer them any visits and if they ask tell them that until you can trust them to follow your rules they'll be kept away to keep them from possibly killing your child this next story is am I the jerk for airing the mother of my grandchildren's dirty laundry in public my son Tommy died suddenly 6 years ago he was recently Divorced with two kids and his ex-wife the kids were five and six years old at the time of their dad's death the kids and Tommy lived with us for a year at one point Tommy's ex Mara was serving time after she stole from Tommy from a friend of Tommy's and from my husband and myself it delayed the divorce so they'd been separated for more than 2 years and the separation started when Tommy learned Mara had cheated we found out about the stealing after and she stole from us after the separation all in all Mara stole close to 35,000 between us all Mara had recently been released and started back with 50/50 custody of the kids when Tommy died after Tommy died Mara attempted to cut our family out of the lives of my grandchildren my husband and I went to court and were awarded a very generous grandparents visitation under grandparents rights of our state Mara was Furious she tried to appeal but it was rejected twice the relationship between us was not civil so we kept it simply and only communicated times for pickup dates were already specified Mara remarried and now has additional children Mara has asked us a few times for us to include her other children we ignore the requests she's yelled at us when we pick up our grandchildren and does not care if they hear we stay silent generally my husband and myself have no wish to be a part of her other children's lives or to play any sort of role in her and her current husband's life we have a relationship with our grandkids they're close to us as we are them and they never ask us to include their half siblings so we keep things as they are last week my grandson had a school talent show that they wanted us to attend so we did Mara and her husband were there with their kids but we sat apart when the kids finished and went back to their classrooms and as we were leaving Mara approached and asked us to please think of her other kids and start acting like grandparents to them we stayed civil and refused Mara called us monsters she said we were hideous monsters for turning our backs on her and her other kids just because she moved on after Tommy she accused us of Cruelty to Children she was very loud I lost my temper and told her if she had wanted us in her life she wouldn't have cheated on our son and stolen from him his friend and us and ended up going to prison I told her we owed her nothing and we owed her children nothing and she needed to accept that our grandkids would always be our grandkids but she was no longer part of our family Mara reacted to others hearing this and told me I had no right to air her dirty laundry publicly that I should have kept that out of our mutual dispute am I the jerk Opie's clearly not the jerk if they were afraid of the dirty laundry being aired publicly they wouldn't have tried to get dirty publicly against op trying publicly and loudly to make op out to be this terrible person this deadbeat grandparent clearly she's just upset that you're not giving her free vacation days with no kids Heather 2020 24 wrote not the jerk she actively tried to stop you visiting your grandchildren and is now complaining you're not grandparents to her other children she's obviously unhinged I wouldn't let what she says bother you unless it hurts the children our next story is am I the jerk excluding a kid so for background I have a niece and two nephews I watch 3 days a week I also have two kids of my own at first I supplied meals and snacks my sister was to supply her son's diapering stuff fast forward I told her I couldn't Supply her kids meals and snacks because they eat everything in a day so this one particular day my kids and I are at her house and her kids got a snack but said my daughter couldn't have any she's to she doesn't understand so I asked my niece why and she said her mom said they aren't allowed to share with my daughter I was really taken back so we left I told my sister this was the icing on the cake and I wouldn't be providing care for her kids anymore strike one was she wasn't paying me $150 USD a week strike two was not bringing diapers for her kids several times strike three was the snack deal now I'm not going to let any of them go without but point being I can't financially afford snacks for all these kids and all I asked for was for her to supply her kid snacks most of the time they'd eat a few bites and not want the rest so it was wasted am I the jerk for cutting my losses I really don't even have much to add to this I just think it's pretty clear op's not the jerk wtx lean in wrote not the jerk I can't imagine how your sister's mind works honestly it's almost like she did this intentionally to push your buttons If so you are not her dmat find a healthy outlet for whatever the freak that is if she's just that lacking in self-awareness then she needs this reality check if she wants to make things right on a personal level since you're family and have to see each other then I would text her how you feel and what it will take to repair your personal relationship then the balls in her Court in any case never sit for her again she needs to learn the hard way this next story is am I the jerk for having my own secret honey stash me 31-year-old male and my partner 29-year-old female have been living together for 2 years now I like honey in my oatmeal more specifically raw honey something about the flavor I just adore so I always bought it even if it cost a bit more than regular but it just so happens apparently that she decided this is our honey at one point last year the little jar that used to last Me 2 months went out in 2 weeks of her waffles I wouldn't mind if we bought it together but I have to order it on Amazon because no stores nearby sell the stuff I didn't want to seem like a cheap skate telling her to pay me for it so in February the next bottle I got I hid it in my desk where I usually take my breakfast yesterday she happened to catch me pouring it into the oatmeal she got upset saying it was childish not to share it and that we're adults but it's not sharing if she's taking 80% of it and paying nothing for for it today she came demanding honey for her waffles and I told her it is my honey I think this is an absolute failure on both sides one she's not being constructive at all and being belligerent on op side they're not communicating anything op's out here on Reddit typing up and telling the world she takes 80% of it and it wouldn't be a problem with me if we paid for it together did op tell her that did op try to approach it in that way I would just honestly hope for more from a couple that's been living together for 2 years casparian wrote good Lord presumably you're both full-blown adults even though you're not behaving your ages if both of you chip in for groceries just make that a part of the grocery bill or buy two bottles one for each of you what a needlessly petty argument this next story is am I the jerk for not sticking up for my wife to my mother my 32-year-old male mother lives out of state and comes twice a year to visit my wife 31-year-old female male and I as well as my sister who lives nearby too she usually spends like four to five nights here while she's here she tends to make some off-the-cuff judgmental comments my mom has always been a little nitpicky about things and I've handled it by ignoring her it's a few comments per trip and otherwise she's okay and helpful to us for example I picked her up at the train station and she immediately said oops looks like someone needs a car wash my wife feels that more comments are directed at her because she is the woman especially about home decor and cleaning despite my wife also working full-time for example we have a junk drawer that has admittedly gotten over full lately my mom said it's too bad I'm not here longer I would help you organize that I noticed it hasn't been done or she'll come into our house and immediately start cleaning something and say she saw it was horribly dirty or last visit my wife suitcase was still out from a trip the month before and she said hm I see someone doesn't like to unpack right away my wife takes these things really personally and it's hurt I usually try to support her behind the scenes till her my mother was kind of an old Crone true and that we all just ignore her and she should too but she recently got upset with me for not saying anything back in the moment I do want to stick up for her but my mind is kind of slow and my mother always slips these comments in when I'm not paying attention I can't respond well within a few seconds when I was expecting it my wife is upset with me and says mother can't come anymore unless I'm planning to stick up for her am I the jerk for not saying something to my mother edited to add my wife has asked me not to confront my mother outside of these comments as she feels she'll receive blowback for it and it'll look like it came from her she wants me to respond when my mother says something in the moment I guess I am slow because I have trouble doing that also my family is very passive aggressive and we almost never confront things head on I've tried to change that and it ends with them just refusing to speak to me for a few months I think op's not the jerk here because realistically those comments aren't necessary and I can understand how it would be annoying and stressful and it gets to the point where you don't want to be around that person you don't want them in your own house when all their presence does is make you feel like they're judging your entire existence and you're just waiting for the next comment agnar Kraken Hammer wrote you're the jerk your mother's behavior is upsetting your wife you can't bury your head in the and pretend it's not happening and that your wife just needs to deal with it be a husband and have a conversation with your mom that her comments aren't appreciated and won't be tolerated look at it this way would you walk into someone else's house and start commenting on how clean it is if not then you already knew the answer before you came here but with that being said that's all the time we have for today now if you want to hear another absolutely crazy am I the jerk your story check out that video on the left or if you missed my latest video check out that video on the right that said I'll see you all next time with some more stories

Channel: Storytime

Views: 7,713

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Id: bZf3OOtKaPY

Length: 29min 2sec (1742 seconds)

Published: Sat May 04 2024