I
have a tradition that every June and December, on the first Saturday of the month, I make
a traditional dish from my country for my family and friends. Everyone loves it and it's a family recipe . My youngest son has been married to Wendy
for 3 years (together 1 before). I didn't know her that well, because they
didn't live here. Wendy is a rising chef In June, Wendy asked if she could help me
make the dish and I said yes... It was my biggest regret. She gave advice on all seasoning choices and
even though I said it's a family recipe, she kept giving her opinion. When that date passed, I made it clear that
I would not like any more help (first and last time), she took it personally and our
relationship became uncomfortable. Last month (day 16),, I received an invitation
from my son and Wendy to go to their house, because Wendy was going to make this dish. It was the first Sunday in December. To clarify, this dish is not something you
can eat two days in a row, as it is heavy. Some sent me a message, asking if mine would
still happen (they know it's always the first Saturday) and I confirmed. On the 20th, I sent the "formal" invitation
by message. My son called as soon as he received it, asking
if it would be on the first Saturday and I confirmed and he started saying that people
can't eat two days in a row and if I couldn't leave it for another week, because Wendy wanted
to do it to get closer to the family. I said no, as it is my tradition and despite
finding their choice of date unpleasant, I won't stop them, but I will continue with
the usual dates. He proceeded to say I'm making things uncomfortable
and a week later it wouldn't bother me and used the coin her invite was before. I was perplexed and said that everyone knows
it's the first Saturday of the month, including them, so it wouldn't change all my plans. Things got uncomfortable, of course. But I kept it, because it's something that
doesn't just involve me (friends and Family already conformes) There was a party on Saturday with family/friends
(he and Wendy didn't come) and on Sunday (I didn't go, because I work that day) many didn't
come and those who did, few ate the food (because they couldn't eat twice). . During the week, my son sent a message asking
if it was worth it to have done that and upset her, because it spoiled this moment that she
wanted to have with our family. He stressed that I could have been the best
person, but I preferred not to be. I don't think this attack is very fair, but
I wanted an outside opinion. It was the best date for all of my family
and friends in December as they get to get together before the festivities (for me too). Tradition that has been going on for 10 years. AITA? I'm 54 and daughter is 28. She is home on break from grad school getting
her phd. She's only home for two weeks because she
says she doesn't have any more time even though she has a month break. That's been a big thing with her lately, she
is constantly to busy to do things with us or help us out even though she does have the
time. I got my younger daughter a sweater and it
turns out she already has it. I called my older daughter from work on Friday
and told her she needed to run and exchange it for a different one. She said ok, she'd do it the next day. I said it needed to be done that day to get
the best options and she said she was grading so she can't. I told her that it's not like she can't pause
her grading, run out, and exchange it. She said she wasn't going to slow down her
work and just said that I should do it when I got back from work that day. I said I was busy to and didn't feel like
running out after a long day of work and she said neither did she. But she doesn't have a "long day of work,"
she's sitting on her butt on her computer all day and doesn't even have scheduled hours
to work, she can do it whenever she wants. Today things really kicked off because I needed
her to pick up an online order for a gift for my mom, her grandma. She again used the excuse of grading (she
hadn't even started working yet, it was in the morning and she was drinking coffee and
having breakfast.) She said that she needs to have her grades
done by today but I looked it up on the website and she has until Monday evening so I called
her on her BS, and she said she had "other work" due on Monday so she needed to get the
grading done today (but wouldn't enlighten me on what this mysterious "other work" is). I said well tough, this needs to be picked
up today so I can wrap it and I was going into the office so I couldn't do it. She said that if I don't want to do it myself,
then it will be done on her own time. I told her with that attitude she can stay
somewhere else and she said "happily" and packed her things claiming she didn't want
to stay here anyway but was only doing so because I insisted. She left her gifts and said to not expect
her for the holidays and she'll go to her girlfriend's family instead. I think it's ridiculous that she is throwing
a fit just because she can't constantly live like she's the only person on the planet but
my wife and other daughter is now furious with me. So I figured I'd ask here because my younger
daughter is always reading the stories with me. AITA or am I correct that my daughter is self
centered and childish? My son (22m) is a picky eater. My cousin was getting married and had a lovely
reception with a nice buffet. “Johnny” wasn’t a fan of what was served
so I let him leave and get some food. Word spread amongst our family where he was
going and a few people asked him to bring things back so he did. We are at a table near the dance floor and
you could probably smell it there but nobody in our immediate family had a chance problem
(even the bride and groom). Apparently the venue and the family of the
bride were appalled and I don’t understand why. It was a great party but he wanted something
different and other people did too. So AITA? Edit: he’s 22 years old and in college. He has no medical issues; he just has a limited
palate. When I said “let” I meant, let him take
my car since we all rode together. Further edit: the food was served buffet style:
a nice soup, salad, tenderloin, bbq beef, pasta, a few other selections. It was actually really good for wedding food. Everyone else who partook in the fast food
did so because, well, it was there and tasted good. They didn’t have a problem with the venues
food. Also, as some people said, one or two chicken
bones did end up in the floor in the venue. That was unfortunate. So I (24f) am currently 6 months pregnant
as a surrogate for a family. Everything has been smooth sailing for the
most part throughout this process other than one thing. Even when I was pregnant with my daughter
I could not stand people touching my stomach. I don’t understand the obsession with people
touching pregnant bellies but it bothers me when people try to do it. Anyways the family I’m surrogating for has
asked multiple times if they can touch my stomach or rub it and feel the baby move and
kick. The wife stating that she’s always wanted
to experience feeling the kicking and moving baby. Now for context she can fully have children
of her own this surrogacy is a choice they made so as not to interfere with her career
by being pregnant. She has a physically demanding job and doesn’t
want to risk anything happening to the baby or her career. (She’s a personal trainer) They have been
constantly asking me to touch my stomach and I always politely decline as it is uncomfortable
for me. Well while me and wife were at a baby appointment
last week she reached over and rubbed my stomach while talking to the doctor. I kindly asked her to stop touching my stomach
and she snapped at me and said I was ruining the experience for her and it’s her baby
she should be able to feel her kick. I snapped back and said that it may be her
baby but it’s my body and that if she really wanted to feel her baby kick she should’ve
gotten pregnant herself. I’ve gotten calls from her and her husband
calling me an AH for yelling at her for binding with her child. My friends and parents are split on whether
I’m an AH or not since it is their baby. So Reddit AITA? My (F31) mom passed away last year. My dad (56) married a woman (37) with a son
(16) about six months later. I think that the age difference is a bit much
but she is nearly 40 so it's not like he's robbing the cradle. Whenever my parents went away I would always
watch their dogs. They weren't the dogs that I grew up with
but they are good puppies. My mom would always call and let me know well
in advance that they were going away ai I would make sure that either myself or my boyfriend
would be around pretty quick after the pups got dropped off. They could behave themselves for a few hours
and I would leave water out for them. I do not have any pets myself. My work can involve travel and my boyfriend
works out of town for two weeks and then has two weeks off. Well my dad and his new wife decided to go
on a trip. But since it was never his responsibility
he didn't call. I was out of town. My boyfriend was working. My dad has a key to my house for emergencies
and dropping off the dogs. My neighbor called me a day later about the
dogs howling in my house to see if everything was okay. I called my dad and he told me that he didn't
know I was out of town. I said that if he didn't come get them I was
calling animal control. So he had his new stepson come to my house
to get the dogs. I have no idea why a 16 year old kid who was
trusted to stay home by himself could not just have watched the dogs in the first place. When I got home I found a disaster area. Dog crap and pee everywhere. I don't want to describe everything because
it makes me angry. To get everything that could be cleaned done
and to replace my boyfriend's leather recliner, which was old but also destroyed, cost about
$7,000. I told my dad I expected him to pay for everything. He said that he would see if his homeowner's
insurance would cover it. They will but the deductible is a lot. And his premiums will go up. So he said that he would take care of it. It's been a few months and I am sick of waiting. The limit for small claims court in my state
is more than double what I want. So I am suing him. He was served and called me to complain. He doesn't have the money because he just
bought a new car. He bought the car after my house got destroyed. I feel no pity. But his wife and him keep trying to talk me
out of pursuing this. They said that my dad paid for a good chunk
of my student debt and that I owe him. Him and my mom did pay off about $10,000 of
my student debt. And I was grateful. It is one of the reasons I had no problem
dog-sitting for free. But he says that if I take this money then
he will not have money for things at his house. He isn't retired. And my mom had life insurance. This year, my husband (36M) & his extended
family decided to go to a fancy restaurant to celebrate the holidays. For context as it’s relevant to the situation,
I (30F) am a white woman, while my husband and his family are 1st/2nd gen east and southeast
Asian. When we originally made plans, we agreed on
a local higher-end chain spot that we had been to many times in the past. However, the day before, my MIL sent us a
message that her brother had switched spots to another high end Chinese restaurant. I’d never been there, but I didn’t really
care and was happy to go. We regularly eat and sometimes make home-cooked
traditional Chinese food anyways, so there was no issue. So we pack up our son (1M) and meet his family
at this new restaurant. It was mostly nice but one thing struck me
immediately. The restaurant HEAVILY advertised and displayed
its shark fin soup menu. To the point that there were some fins literally
hanging on display. In our country, the sale of shark fins is
illegal. It’s also known to be extremely cruel (basically,
the fin is removed from living sharks and the animal is left to slowly die unable to
swim), and ecologically a key reason for some at-risk shark species population declines. Everyone sat down, and I was notably quiet. I quickly pulled my husband to the side to
explain that I was really uncomfortable with this restaurant as it sold shark fin and try
to figure out what to do. I was really anxious given the illegality
of the dish and morally upset. He said we could talk about it when we got
home but to please just get through the dinner. When it came time to order, a lot of the aunts
and uncles ordered shark fin soup, while everyone else ordered fancy dishes. Internally I was still freaking out, and quickly
just chose the plainest possible noodle dish (basically noodles with oil) and said I would
share it with my son. I got some weird looks from my MIL and BIL
since they know I regularly love Chinese food and this wouldn’t be my typical order. The food arrives and I cut up/give some of
the noodles to my son (he still needs to eat) and really just pick at the rest while we’re
there. There is a lot of food sharing but I wouldn’t
participate and also blocked my son from participating. Some family made comments on my & my son’s
not sharing but I just laughed them off or changed the subject. There wasn’t any conflict while we were
at the restaurant and I tried to hide my discomfort and hold happier conversations with everyone
there. When we got home my husband asked if I was
feeling well and why I hadn’t eaten more food. I told him I was uncomfortable eating shark
fin and didn’t want to eat at a restaurant that supported eating shark fin, and didn’t
want our son eating there either. He got angry and said I was embarrassing him,
and I guess called a couple family members. Now I have a bunch of them messaging me saying
I am racist and I am “stealing my son’s culture from him”. AITA for not sucking it up and eating at the
restaurant? I (47) got divorced from my first wife when
I was 29. We had two kids and my folks loved them more
than anything. My ex wife wasn't happy with the lifestyle
that I could provide. I wasn't making a lot of money but we weren't
in debt or anything. We had good cars and we had just put a downpayment
on our first home that we would own. Her boss was rich. He was 47 and he could provide luxuries that
were out of my reach. She left me for him. I still had to pay child support but I guess
I was lucky that I didn't pay spousal support. I had to work and I couldn't get custody. I got visitation. And my ex made it hard. The kids were young. And she manipulated them. If I had planned to take them to a local resort
for our summer vacation she would take them to Disneyland the week before. I would always come up short. Eventually the kids refused to spend time
with me. It went to court and I basically had to accept
that I couldn't force them to see me and my parents. I met my second wife (33) at the dog park
when I was 37 and she was 24. She had a son who was about the age my son
was the last time my parents got to see him. My parents accepted him right away. He loves them. My wife is like a daughter to them. It is what I always wanted for a life. We have two more kids now (8, 5). My stepson is about to graduate next year. So a few years ago my dad sold his company. He is an engineer and he had some patents
that ended up being worth a fair bit of money. He paid off my house. He also made educational funds for my three
kids. He figured the older ones were done school
and hadn't bothered to visit them in years so they didn't need anything from him. Turns out that was wrong. My ex wife married a scam artist. He was rich. But he wasn't rich enough for the lifestyle
she wanted. So he stole from his clients. And then he went to jail. My oldest kids are in a lot of debt. My ex is living with her parents. She recently tried to tell me that my parents
needed to be fair with all their grandchildren. I told her it was their money to spend on
the people they loved and who loved them back. She said that we were punishing her kids for
her mistakes. I said that both of our kids were adults and
hadn't made any effort to see me or my parents in over a decade. She said I'm being an jerk for not convincing
my parents to help her kids. I (f32) have a 12 years old American Bully
named Rory. Because of her age she had a lot of health
issues. Right now she needs to have surgery. It's going to be around 6k plus about 3-4k
in meds followed by 6 months in therapy that's going to be 10-12k. That brings the total to 22k the most. I can easily afford it because i have a good
job (in IT), i don't have any debt to pay, I'm child free and i budget myself very well. My mom was what you can call a weekend parent. She never really mothered me. She will often let me fend for myself. Because of that my childhood was practically
nonexistent. My dad died when I was 2 and my grandparents
lived far away so I was by myself 99% of the time. I went Low contact with her when i started
college. Last year she got married to Alex who has
a 5 year old son (David) from a previous relationship. I wasn't aware of any of this. I didn't know she was dating and i didn't
know she got married. Mom called me last night because David has
some health issues and needs medical care that's too expensive for their budget. That's when I found out about Alex. Apparently my mom did tell me anything because
if i knew about Alex she would have been forced to invite me to the wedding which she didn't
want to do because Alex doesn't know i exist. Basically she wants me to send her 15k to
pay for David' treatment or whatever he needs. I said no. I'm doing well financially but I don't have
that kind of money and I'm not paying for a random kid. I told mom as nice as I could that I can't
help her because 1. I don't want to and 2. I don't have the money. She ended the call. She found out about my Rory' surgery from
my cousin and this morning I woke up to a bunch of voicemails and text calling me all
possible names because I chose my dog over her step kid. I texted back this: "yes. That dog means the world to me and I will
do anything I can for her. David is nothing to me. You got married without telling me because
you don't want your hubby to know I exist. Perfect. If I don't exist in your little perfect life
then why are you asking me for money? Your stepchild isn't my responsibility. I wouldn't give you 15k even if I had it because
you're not important enough to me to spare that kind of money. You haven't called me in what? 3 years? 4? And now you want money from me? Nah." Safe to say my family is now calling me a
monster because I would rather help a dog than a child. My decision is final but I'm curious if I'm
TA. I am very into deer hunting and have two mounted
deer heads in my basement. My wife does not like taxidermy and brings
it up quite a bit. One is in a living room and the other in my
workout room that doubles as a guest room. Her sister is coming to town for the holidays
and my wife insists I remove the deer head so her sister is comfortable. I refused since I use the room everyday and
I get a great memory every time I walk in that room. I don’t feel like I need to take down or
adjust things for my sister in law. She doesn’t have to stay at out house. I have offered to change sheets etc so my
wife does not need to go in that room.First of all, this is my first post on here ever,
I wanted an objective opinion and I have read a lot of these kinds of posts on Facebook. If I do anything wrong please tell me. I(70s F) am the grandmother to 5 wonderful
grandkids (3 women and 2 men). The last of my grandkids got married last
October. My husband (70s M) and I usually get them
a small gift (usually the cheapest thing on the registry), then the day before the wedding,
we privately gift them a check for $40k, we prefer that they use it for a house, but we
don’t force them to do so. We also ask them to keep it private (we have
a big extended family, and we don’t want them to expect it from us). They all honored this request. When it came to our youngest granddaughter,
we bought her an air fryer (that was the cheapest thing on the registry) and sent it in advance. Then she called us furious, she went off on
us for being cheap and how she knew we had money, but that we did not love her enough
to show it by getting her something more expensive. We were horrified by her behavior, then she
went ahead and threatened to disinvite us if we didn’t get her a better gift. We discussed it, bought her a China set, but
we did not give her the money that was set aside for her. We decided that she did not deserve it. Fast foreword to last week, she met up with
her brother, they got to talking and she found out about the cash gift that he got. She asked her cousins and found out all of
them got the same gift. She called us furious for discriminating against
her. We told her that it was our money, and after
how she behaved, we did not want to give it to her. She started crying, said that she was just
extremely stressed, and that we shouldn’t have taken it to heart. We told her that we stand by our decision. Now she is refusing to attend Christmas, and
her mother (our DIL) is calling us AHs. So AWTAs. I have a daughter, Elena (6), and my stepsister
Jess has a daughter Hattie (5). Me, my husband, Jess, and her husband Paul
are all staying at our parents' house over the Xmas period. For context, Paul arrived a day after the
rest of us, very late at night because he does shift work and worked late before driving
to our parents'. The next morning, the girls were playing in
Elena's room at about 10am. The adults were all downstairs, except Paul
because he was sleeping, and my stepdad was out. Suddenly, we heard Paul shouting. This is not too unusual, if unpleasant, but
this episode sounded particularly bad so we got up. Before we can even get to the stairs my daughter
runs down crying, saying Paul had shouted at her for waking him up. My husband was livid and went upstairs to
deal with Paul while I calmed my daughter down. I knew it would be absolutely impossible for
us to be around Paul after what happened so we would probably be leaving. Jess said that was ridiculous, Paul probably
got annoyed and was tired and he'd apologise and everything would be fine. I said no, it would not be fine, nobody shouts
at my child and remains on speaking terms with me or around my daughter, Paul should
know better than to be acting like that with other people's children. When my stepdad came back, we told him what
happened and that we would be leaving because we refused to subject Elena to being around
Paul after what he did and we don't trust him not to overstep his boundaries like that
again. My stepdad agreed, but said that it was unfair
we should have to leave after Paul was the problem. He called Paul and Jess down and said they
had to go, weren't welcome on Christmas, or until after we had gone home. Paul tried to defend himself saying the kids
should have been quieter but when my husband got annoyed Paul half-heartedly apologised. I didn't believe a word of his apology. My stepdad reiterated that Jess was welcome
to stay without Paul, but Paul had to be gone within the hour. Jess started crying and said it was unfair
and that my stepdad was choosing me over her and was a horrible father. She started an expletive rant so I left the
room with Elena, and the next I saw was her and Paul going upstairs to pack. They left without a goodbye. Since they've been gone every few hours I've
got a text from Jess saying how I've ruined her Christmas and her relationship with her
dad over 30 seconds of bad judgement. I don't think I created this situation because
it was my stepdad's decision to throw them out, I offered to leave. I also think Paul made this bed that Jess
is lying in. All he had to do was come downstairs and ask
us to quiet the children, or pop his head into the room and ask politely. Nevertheless, I do feel bad that Jess is stuck
in the middle and that Hattie won't see her grandparents on Christmas because of this. Did I overreact? Would Paul apologising have been enough? I (28m) married my wife (23f), who we’ll
call ‘Dani’, about a year ago and we were very lucky to get pregnant soon after. Dani is in her third trimester now and on
pregnancy leave. Once we got the good news, I started working
extra hours in order to save more money for when the baby gets here. This means that I have to get up extra early
every morning to get to work (I try to be out the door by 6AM). I get home a little later and I’m usually
pretty beat, but I still contribute to the house by doing dishes, cleaning up after the
cat (coz she can’t), that kind of stuff. This new routine has been hard on both of
us, but we’ve made it work and so far everything has been fine. That is, until the other day, when I wake
up to Dani crying. We only have one bathroom, which is downstairs,
and lately Dani has been having a little more trouble going up and down the stairs. This usually went fine, but this time she
didn’t make it. So, when I came downstairs, I found her, in
tears, standing in her own mess. She was clearly very embarrassed and even
more so that I ‘caught’ her. I immediately felt bad for her, and tried
to comfort her and told her it’s all good, it can happen to anyone, just clean it up
and we’ll go back to bed. She asked me if I could help her, but I told
her that that made me uncomfortable. I would never expect anyone to clean up after
my mess. Tbh it has happened before when I had a couple
too many beers, but I always clean up after myself and it would feel weird to ask Dani
to do it for me in that situation. She got really mad and called me insensitive
for making her clean up after herself after an already embarrassing enough situation.I
proposed a compromise - she would clean up the mess, and I would get her clean pj’s
(since I’d just done laundry anyway). She asked me if this is what it was going
to be like if the baby made a mess, and I told her I would be perfectly okay to clean
up after the baby, since it can’t clean up after itself. I then told her I didn’t have time to stand
there arguing with her all night when I had to get up in like three hours to go to work
and provide for us. So, I walked upstairs, grabbed her pj’s
for her and went back to bed. The next morning when I got downstairs, I
found her on the couch. She told me that she barely slept and felt
horrible about the night before. She called me an jerk and said that by not
helping her, I only embarrassed her more. She then told me she would be staying with
her mom until I got my crap together. It’s been half a day now, and she’s not
responding to my texts. I talked about it with a few coworkers and
I’m getting mixed responses, but I just want to make sure… AITA?
