(Fixed title) I have two daughters in
highschool. Sam is an A student and Emma is a B and C student. Sam has
basically been making fun of Emma for her lower grades. We punish her when it
happens but she goes back to it every time. Now the difference between the
two girls is that Sam takes the general classes where Emma takes the
college classes. For example sam took biology as her science and Emma took
college physics 2. So very different. Summer is here and the final grades came in.
Sam got all As and when she saw she did better, she started the I am smarter comments
again. I had enough at this point I grabbed one of Emma old tests, it was a geometry
test since Sam took geometry this year and sat her down and had her do it. Long story short
she was in tears and then I explained again how grades don’t measure how smart you are. That
she is in much easier classes compared to Emma, I think it finally got through to her. My wife was informed of what happened before she
came home and she was ticked, about how I could do that to Sam. She took her to get ice cream to make
up for it while me and Emma are still at home. Edit For those wondering, we
have talked to her multiple times, we have tried to get the bottom of it, her
answer is she doesn’t think it is a big deal. I took Emma to her favorite restaurant,
filled in my wife with what actually happened and not the story sam told. We
are going to have to have a big talk later, but she basically said on text she freaked up. Not
to mention when Sam was calmer she got a clearer story and realize she went off the handle without
the facts I (18f) have been dating my boyfriend, John (20m) for a little under a year. We have
a pretty toxic free relationship but there’s quite a bit of tension when it comes to me being
vegetarian. I’ve been vegetarian since 11 and I have very strict morals around it. The one thing
John has a problem with is me refusing to spend my money on meat. Ever since I started making
my own money, I swore to myself that I would never spend a cent of it on meat. On our dates,
we usually spilt the bill and sometimes he pays for it all. I told him if he orders something
meat-free, I’d happily pay for both of us but he never does. When he pays for my food, it’s
when I’ve spend money on the activity. Normally concerts and festivals. That’s me paying €120+
on tickets and him spending maybe €50 on food His birthday was a few days ago and we went out
for dinner at his favourite fancy restaurant. He got the most expensive steak they had along
with a side salad and a bottle of wine. When we finished our food, I asked the waiter to spilt
the bill and John looked at me shocked. He asked if I was joking and I said no. Then he told
me he thought I was going to pay since it was his birthday and he didn’t budget for the meal. I
asked him why he thought I’d pay since I’ve been very clear about my rule but he couldn’t give
me a reason other than it being his birthday. I told him I’d pay for the wine and the side
salad, but he’d need to pay for the steak. He was furious with me and stormed off to the
bathroom. I paid for my meal, the wine and the salad and waited for him to come back. He
didn’t. After waiting for 20 minutes, I left. I found him sitting on a bench near where we
parked the car. I asked him why he left and reminded him he needed to pay. He looked shocked
when I said that and asked me if I didn’t pay. I told him I’d paid for everything but the
meat and he lost it. He started yelling at me, telling me I was selfish, that I needed to
grow up. I stayed calm and told him he needed to go back and pay. He scoffed and walked
away. I ended up driving home without him. Now he’s saying it’s my fault that he can’t show
his face in his favourite restaurant since he dined and ditched. It’s a pretty small restaurant
so he’d 100% be recognised and kicked out. So, aita? So I live with my wife, and we have a
blended family. My step kids are usually with us, although right now they are with their dad for
father's day weekend. He called me yesterday and said he wanted to talk about something the
kids told him. He said they told him that my son (from my prior relationship) has his
boyfriend over all the time. He said it makes him uncomfortable that his kids are spending so
much time around this older boy he doesn't know. To make a long story short, our disagreement
ended with me telling him that he's not a member of my household, and his opinion
doesn't matter. When his kids are with him, he makes the decisions. When they
are with my wife, she does. He said he always gets a say over what happens
with his kids. I said not in my house. He said I was an jerk and he was going to
take my wife back to court. I asked him if he was going to start using all the custody
days he already has before asking for more, because that might give him better odds. He told
me to go freak myself. My wife is upset with me, because antagonizing her ex
makes her life more difficult. I do feel bad for making things
more difficult for my wife, but I also feel like this guy needed a reality
check. Am I the jerk for how I spoke to him? I (31F) invited some friends over for breakfast
earlier today. My husband was out so it was just me and my daughter (3). One of my friends
“Sandy” (33) is childfree and gets very upset when children act up in public. She typically
avoids coming over when my daughter is home, but we are going on vacation soon and she has
a trip planned immediately after we get back, so this would be the last time we
have a chance to catch up for a while. I had my daughter stay up in her room for the
most part, but at one point she came down to get a snack. She has a favorite bowl and requested
that bowl, so I got it for her and set it down on the table while I got the rest of her snack
together. Sandy decided it would be funny to take the bowl and hold it out of her reach while
I was in the pantry, and I came out when I heard my daughter start to get upset. Sandy was laughing
and my daughter looked like she was about to cry, so I asked Sandy to please set the bowl down and
not do that again. Sandy said that it was just a bowl and it was funny how upset she was getting
over it, and that she could either eat out of another bowl or ask politely instead of whining.
My daughter got really upset at that and started to cry and scream. Sandy clearly didn’t expect
that reaction and looked at me with a sort of shocked face to see what I was going to do.I took
the bowl from her and gave it to my daughter, gave her a hug, then told her to go upstairs and
play for a bit and I’d give her her snack when she was calm enough to eat it so that I could deal
with the situation while she was out of earshot. Sandy asked me if I was serious in letting
my child act like that knowing that she hated children’s tantrums. I asked her why she
would provoke my daughter in the first place, to which she replied that it she didn’t
expect such a big reaction and there’s no reason for her to scream like that over
a bowl, and that my daughter was acting like a brat in front of company and I should
have disciplined her. Sandy left soon after. Most of my friends agree with me that Sandy
F’d around and found out, but Sandy still thinks I should have disciplined my daughter for
having such a dramatic reaction to a minor issue, especially knowing that she gets so upset when
children act out. I also definitely believe that Sandy didn’t know my daughter would throw a
tantrum and wouldn’t have done it otherwise, because she doesn’t know much about children and
what can set them off and she hates tantrums and would never cause one on purpose. AITA? So my
(17f) parents recently came into a fair bit of money (inheritance from one of my mom’s
elderly relatives I think) and decided to buy out a local ice cream shop that was going
out of business. They love that place because it’s where they met and has tons of sentimental
meaning to them. They also hired my 18 year old brother to work there because they want him to
have job experience before going off to college. They didn’t offer to hire me, and I didn’t
ask because I already have a fast food job. Anyway, my house is pretty close
to the shop, and my friends and I decided to meet up there yesterday for
icecream and to hang out. For reference, we’re a group of four high schoolers. It was
pretty busy, so we got in line. About a minute in, we brother came out of the back and waved
me over. He handed me an apron and asked me to help out his coworker in the
back because they had to clean the machines ASAP but my brother had to open a
second register because of how busy it was. I refused on the grounds that I wasn’t
being paid, and he said that I had to help out because it’s the “family business”
and because of how swamped the place was and how panicked his coworker was. He even offered
to let my friends skip the line if I helped out for ten minutes to give his coworker a hand,
and said I owed it to him to help out because I “brought such a big group in”. I decided that
that would cause a scene in a packed shop, and refused again. He huffed and waved me
off, then went to open the second register. I went back to my friends and the
rest of our meet up went well, but my brother kept giving me dirty
looks until we got our cones and left. Later that night, my parents confronted me and
said that what I did was petty. They told me to work a shift the next day to make up for
it, but backed off once I reminded them that I have an actual job that I was scheduled
to work pretty much all day the next day. I ended up getting off scot free, however my
whole family maintains that I’m petty and lazy, and now I’m wondering if they’re right. So,
AITA? My gf (f20) and I (m22) have recently moved into our first shared apartment
together. Since this is the first time for both of us living on our own, my parents
offered that they will pay for our fridge. My parents own a rather expensive fridge that
has a built in ice cube dispenser. For the lack of better suggestions from my gf, I decided
I want exactly the same fridge as my parents for our apartment. My girlfriend however was
against it because in her opinion extras like the ice cube dispenser are a waste of money
and it would be rude to ask my parents to pay for it. She said we should know our place
and go for something more modest and that she wouldn’t use the ice cube dispenser anyway (if
I want cold drinks I should just put my drink in the fridge beforehand). She never said
what kind of fridge she would like though and so in the end she dropped it and my parents
bought us the expensive fridge when we moved in. It’s been a while now and I frequently use
the ice cube dispenser while she just keeps all her drinks in the fridge and takes up loads of
space, so yesterday when I tried to fit in other groceries I bought, I took out all her drinks so
she will have to use the ice cube dispenser now if she wants a cold drink. When she found out, she
called me a petty idiot and hasn’t been talking to me since. AITA? My cousin Nancy bullied me
severely during middle and high school. Nancy would call me names in the hallway, start rumors
about me, and pressured other girls into not being friends with me. In my sophomore year, I ended
up having a mental breakdown at school because of Nancy and my parents stopped talking to hers
for a long time. I still avoid Nancy and don't have any kind of relationship with her, as the
only "apology" she ever gave me was not sincere. This year, my parents insisted
on preparing my birthday dinner, because were getting reservations to one of my
favorite restaurants. For every potential guest, they confirmed with me whether or not I wanted
them to attend. This included Nancy. I told my parents that I didn't want Nancy there.
Seeing her brings up a lot of bad feelings and memories for me. Plus, it was just meant
to be a small family dinner with my parents, sister Grace, and grandparents. It wouldn't
be odd to not invite a cousin anyway. My parents told me they understood, and that they, Grace, and our grandparents would be the only
people there. But when I arrived last night, Nancy was sitting at the table between my
seat and Grace's. My parents were begging me with their faces to just sit down. But I
looked at Nancy, shook my head at my parents, and then walked out without saying anything else.
I was incredibly upset because I specifically told them to not invite Nancy yet they invited
her anyway knowing how miserable she made me. I kept getting phone calls from my parents and
Grace, so I shut off my phone for the night. But when I turned it on this morning, I
had many text messages from my parents, saying they were disappointed in me for
walking out of my own birthday dinner. They said that I made things difficult in
front of my grandparents, and I could at least tolerate my cousin since Nancy's dad
(my uncle) did die only a few years ago. Even Grace texted me saying I could have shown
respect to my parents because they waited weeks for those reservations, and I could have just
"called a truce" with Nancy for a few hours since he hadn't said or done anything to me then
at the table. My friends and boyfriend told me that I was within my rights, because it was meant
to be my birthday dinner and they invited someone who I specifically asked them not to. So now I'm
conflicted. AITA? I (32f) live out of state and flew home for my moms birthday to surprise her.
She was away on a holiday with a friend and was arriving home on her birthday so I arranged to
take a day off, come home a day early to organise cooking dinner and her cake. Dad goes off to the
airport and they both come home and I surprise her with the dinner cake and a present. Dad has done
nothing for her birthday, no present, nothing. When mom arrives she’s happy I am there to
surprise her, and we sit down and have dinner and wine and hear about her trip away. She even
has gifts for us from her holiday. As we are still catching up and having a wine, dad stands up,
turns off the dinner jazz playing through the TV and put the game on. Anxiety runs through me
and tell him this is not acceptable and to turn it off and come back to the table. He sulks and
says ‘no one cares about what I want it’s all about you’. I’m we continue to sit and chat before
dessert (cake) and a few minutes later he leaves the table and does it again removing himself to
sit at the couch and put the game on full volume. This angered me and I began swearing and asking
him how he can treat his wife like this on her birthday,how he had done absolutely nothing for
her special day and how he would never watch TV during a celebration with his extended family.
He argued back saying that picking her up from the airport (15 minutes away) was enough that
that ‘no one cares about me or what I want, It’s always your way!’*. Mom is so down
trodden at this point in the marriage she even began to agree with him saying ‘he did do
something, he picked me up from the airport’. AITA? Should I have compromised and accepted him
watching the game during a dinner I arranged and flew home for? About a month ago, my (32m) SO
(33) made plans for father's day where we would spend the day with the kids including our newborn
son. The idea was to chill at home with the family and then we would make a nice dinner
together at the end of the day. Skip to today, and this morning my
brother texted me and our dad if we had plans on or around father's day for us to
get together. I offered my place for the spot, and we set up a time around noon to meet. This
wouldn't infringe on my plans too much with my SO since the main event was the dinner and
the meeting with the guys would only be 3 hours or so. Plus, my brother would get
to meet my newborn for the first time! I tell my SO the new plans and at first she seemed
fine with it, but later she is ticked. She wanted the whole day with me, demanding to see the
group chat, saying that she's going to take the kids to her cousin's place on father's day...
Am I crazy? I didn't think she would care about the change since this is my special day, and it's
not interrupting the important part of the night. Now we're talking about ending things. Where did I
go wrong? This happened during the recent college semester and I'm still quite confused. I(20m)
would eat lunch with my friend(20f) and a few other friends nearly every week day. Basic college
cafeteria food. Every time my friend would take some off my plate. Which I don't mind. It's crapy
college cafeteria food and I'm on a meal plan. One time I ordered a little extra fries
and tenders. When she finished her meal and started reaching over for mine. I just slid
the extra portion over to her. I genuinely don't see how this could be seen as malicious. I
was just thinking "she will eat it anyway so why not?" and that was literally the end of my
thought process. Thought it'd be a nice thing and I was a bit hungry that day because I had to
skip breakfast so I thought it'd be a win win. She looked at the extra food with disgust and
said "what is this?" I said. I ordered it for you. She said "what you think I need more food?"
I just told her that since she usually takes some of mine I would just get her a side portion
of her own. I explained about how usually I don't care but I was a hungry that day. She
was like "what you think I always take your food?" I said "every time we eat together you
take some" and I explained that I don't care and just tried to move on with this. I asked
a friend about his product or something(don't really remember) She got really ticked like "oh
so you keep track of when I take your food?" I said no and that I just thought it would be a
nice thing and a win win for the both of us. She went on about how I was thinking ahead
and how I must have been sick of her eating my food. She said how she doesn't need
to eat less food. She is not overweight or anything so I'm genuinely confused as to
how it got to that point. She is generally a calm friendly person I get along with and talk
to frequently and the day after that it went back to normal. Just really lost. I didn't
even think about the things or situations she brought up. I was just like "hungry
today, order her more so I can eat more, win win" and that was the end of my thought
process I (28m) had a friend (29m), Brian, over almost three months ago where he brought a
12pack of coors and only drank half of it. When he left, he left the remain beers in my fridge
despite me reminding him to grab them. Since then he came over twice for little things and I told
him to grab the beers he left, but he didn't. Come Saturday I had a couple people over and
they asked if they could have the coors which I considered abandoned at this point so
say sure. They drank all of the remaining beers that night. Last night Brian came over
for a minute and asked to grab his beers and I told him they were gone. He got angry that
I gave his beers away and demanded I pay for the remaining beers. I refused because I felt
he had plenty of time to take or drink them and that he abandoned them at my place. AITA? I
(37m) am engaged to my fiancée (31f), planning on getting married at the end of this year. My
family takes a Christmas card photo every year, usually around big events like graduations or
parties when everyone is together (which isn’t often). Years ago, my mom instituted a “not until
you’re married” policy to including SOs in photos, and applied that rule to my brother when he
was dating, and engaged to, his now-wife. My fiancée has had significant issues with this.
Last year, when the family took photos shortly after she and I were engaged, she directed
many snide comments to me about how excluded she feels. This year, she flatly refused
to drive with me to a family graduation, saying how hurt and excluded she felt by
this policy “since we are getting married this year and the card is coming out the year
we are getting married.” I’ve tried to explain that this isn’t our card, this isn’t our right
to tell others who can and can’t be on their card, and we could always have our
own card to start our own tradition. She’s made several comments around how
surprised she is that I haven’t stood up for her to my mother, even telling me that
she’s discussed the issue with others and they also are surprised that I wouldn’t
take a stand with my mother on this. She also made a point multiple times to
say “good, less time to spend on photos with them at the wedding,” implying a
tit-for-tat response to this policy. I don’t really know what to do. AITA? My husband (m47) and I (f40) are getting divorced, we have
three kids together Amelie (f17), (m15) and (m4). When my husband and I met we both were married
to other people, he was my ex's husband coworker, we met in one of their company's parties,
we hit it off and we had an affair before we got divorced to start dating. Amelie
was born shortly after we got divorced. We never felt like we should tell all of
this to our kids when they were growing up, mainly because they were too young.
Neither him or I had kids with our ex's, so we just throw away our weddings photos
and pretended neither of those marriages happened. When/ if the kids asked how we met
we told them it was though common friends. Well now that we're getting divorced, Amelie
has picked her dad's side. I can't really stop her from seeing him whenever she wants because
our custody agreement is not over yet, so she often goes to his house after school/ spends
the weekends with him. He told her the truth, he's trying to get her to believe that I'm
wrong in all of this (although all I'm doing is supporting my son), he's trying to get her against
me and against her brother. She told her that he has always wanted to tell them the truth but I
didn't "allow" it since it would make me look bad. That's obviously a lie, but Amelie believed
him. When she came back home she started arguing with me about why I never told her the truth,
she called a "lying bench". I tried to explain to her the truth and what her dad is trying
to do, she told me she never wants to see me again and such. I got sick of that and grounded
her, I took her phone and sent her to her room. This morning she wasn't talking to me, all she
told me is that she hates me and will try to leave to live with her dad. My coworker
thinks I was an jerk for grounding her, she's a confused teenager, I don't know what
to believe really, so I'd like to read some outsider perspectives please. I (24F) have
a half-sister (27F), we'll call her Taylor. My dad had weekend visitation with Taylor at our
house until I was 8, and it was the worst. She bullied me really badly any time I saw her, to the
point that I would scream every time my dad even mentioned her coming over. Even if we were kept
apart, she would break my things, upset my pets, and tell lies about me. Every week her mom would
end up in the kitchen screaming at my parents. Taylor's mom died when she was 11. Her mom
didn't have any family able to take her in, and nor did my dad. My dad was the only one who
could get custody. When I was told about this, I freaked out. Screaming, crying for hours,
calling my grandparents and demanding to live with them, all of it. My mom wasn't willing
to have Taylor in the house on that basis, and I'm pretty sure she said she would move
out if my dad pushed the issue. Taylor ended up being sent to boarding school the next year,
and she would go to stay with other members of my dad's family during breaks. When I was 14 my
parents divorced, and I would see Taylor every few months at my dad's during school breaks. I'd
learnt to stand up for myself and she'd grown up so there was no bullying, but we'd bicker -
she was hostile and I never backed down. I didn't see her much after she went to college,
and then I went to college far away as well. We now live in the same small city (I moved here
in March). It's the kind of place where everyone from each generation knows or knows of each
other. I had never encountered Taylor socially and never mentioned knowing her, but I had met her
boyfriend and his friends are part of my larger social group. The other night, I was at a party,
and Taylor and her bf were there as well. We made eye contact and waved, but she pretty much avoided
me all night. During the night, our mutual friends asked how I know Taylor, and I said we are half
sisters. They all looked super uncomfortable and I pressed for an explanation. Basically, Taylor's
been telling everyone that she was homeless as a kid because her stepmother and half-sister hated
her and demanded she be shipped off to boarding school and made her dad ignore her. Were it
not for the fact that it was obviously going to come out sooner or later that we are related, I
probably wouldn't have bothered to set the record straight. As it was, I'm going to be around these
people for a long time, and I didn't feel I should have had to walk around burdened by the weight
of her lies. So I told the group the context. She called me yesterday to yell at me.
Apparently she's being ostracised from the group, her relationship is in trouble,
her career opportunities are in jeopardy, etc. I don't see how any of this is my
fault because she's the one who lied, but according to some people I should have
been a bit more gentle in my retelling of the facts because it's her 'experience'
and I've basically blackballed her.
