Questions and Answers

[Music] hi we have a few questions here that we'll run through quickly what happens if you marry and realize your husband is terra i don't think it's a very um unusual situation i think that that is why we're saying the marriage vows for better for worse i wish that with my human wisdom i could say just dump him and go and look for somebody else but that is not that would not be god's word you see and when you come and stand here and we vow it's for god we say for richer for poorer in sickness and in health in prosperity and in adversity for better for worse and so it means that you expect that even when it's worse you will stay in it and so i have to tell you what god's word says okay he didn't say that you could divorce when your husband is sterile says you could divorce when the person has been unfaithful so i'm a girl with issues everybody has issues i love singing and i'm part of the choir i know that god has great plans for me because i want to be a medical doctor and a great singer like darlene scheck cici weiners and sister grace but the issue is that i love my spiritual father and he knows it he nearly broke my virginity but came back to realize his mistake i know god has forgiven me but i don't know what to do sister mommy please what do i do run run run baby run the bible doesn't say that try and negotiate youthful lusts explain usefulness says flee and god gives us many spiritual fathers okay so i think that you should forgive the person and all that but for the relationship to be restored once he has been attracted to you and has slept with you it would be better for you to run david had a father called so but he couldn't stay there and he had to run you two must run so that what god has put in you will come to pass and please try that you don't also play a part in it you know no matter how spiritual or how anointed the person is run because your loyalty is to a higher authority which is god amen i'm a son i've learned a lot can i ask how and what do women have to look before saying yes that's a tall order you have to look for whether you are a child of god just like them they have to marry from the same family that is a family of god they have to know whether you are a friend because you married somebody that you can live with somebody you can chat with and somebody that you are proud of don't marry somebody that when you see the person you are hiding the person when they say bring your wife or brace oh stay there stay there they are not calling you yet and things like that you know and you have to marry somebody from what you can see can help go along with your vision if in the beginning alone there are problems about the vision for both of you it is a problem area and you must marry somebody you can um depend on not depend on totally i mean your whole life but trust somebody you can trust and depend on somebody who has eyes for the future i think that this is quite a long tip but if you buy how to be marriageable or how to be found some of these things will be on that tip what do you do when you believe and accept that you have messed up and you are so scared because you don't want another mess i have too much baggage on my mind i have too much baggage my mind is in a wreck too many issues and the lord is so quiet seek help seek counsel talk to somebody who is spiritual and can minister to you because when you keep things inside you jobs that i will speak so they are not best you can best and when you speak to an experienced person a pastor that you can trust you will find out that what you thought were issues there's nothing new under the sun there's nothing that has not happened before so god wants your mess so that he can give you a message so bring your mess to him and let him restore so look for somebody who has oversight over you and speak to the person so that the person can also speak into your life bible says we ought to bear one another's burdens the person will help you amen what do you do when an assistant pastor's wife doesn't flow with you the pastor's wife and seems to hide things from you um you cannot force people to love you you cannot force people to be open with you you cannot force people to accept you in your life as a woman you will come across oppressed and you come across ruth hoppers go with you some of the way roofs go with you all the way so don't fight for things that don't work if your system passes wife doesn't flow with you you just need enough flow for the church to work but you may not need it as a friend moving and all that look around god will give you other people who will cheer you on and provide your needs so if your needs are not being met in one country don't look in one bucket the need must be met here no look in another and then also walk in love don't scratch with the chickens fly with the eagles when the person calls you to a battle don't respond refuse to wear your boxing gloves ladies and just say that oh me i'm just here to party that's why i've won a frock i didn't come to fight you see that person is pulling you to fight you greet the person oh become deaf blind and dumb so how are you acoustia how is it she has made her face i could see it as well bye amen if you're going to think about why does she do that so what can i do will she love me you are wasting anointing okay auntie mommy please i would like to know how and from whom you tapped such an anointing from god from my husband from an anointing in the house and from also listening to women and other preachers that i feel can impact my life i think that and god will do the same for you and also quiet time i think a personal relationship makes you minister from your heart do you see and when you have issues and you go to god he will minister to you and that comfort wherewith you are comforted with you'll be able to minister to others okay auntie mommy please can you take money from a guy you have broken up with opportunist you have broken up with him why are you not enjoying his money hey women we're men i think that if you have broken up with him let him go but you are now getting money from him for what there's no doubt that there are all kinds of people in a good church but how can one serve god in the midst of pretenders they smile with you in the face and turn around to say bad things about you i thought as christians we needed each other to make it happen well the kingdom of god is like a man who went out and caught many fish there's starfish there are red fish blue fish different fishes you cannot um yeah and jesus let the wheat and the tears grow together so as long as we are in this flesh there will be wheat and tears so don't get disappointed in people and don't always ask a moral question why are people like this why do you want to find answers they are like this because of adam and eve all right so how can you serve god in the midst of pretenders not everybody is a pretender some will pretend like judas and some will be good and like john and kong and so and you'll be real you don't pretend usually when you are real you will attract also real people if you are also somewhere you will attract and select your friends in the church timothy said paul said to timothy that you'll be an example to believers not unbelievers to believe us in faith in charity in conversation in the way you so you can be an example to believers because not every believer is the right way okay so instead of pointing fingers look at your own issues and you'll be real and other real people will come your way amen i know it's heartbreaking in the body of christ to find all this but the wheat and the tears are together till the master comes that's mommy please with the bishop's busy schedule that's the time does he have time for you please tell me [Applause] well yes he has time for me and he does have a very busy schedule and the schedule is growing with time but i always tell bishop that i think that he should also teach about the hidden things of his life because there are times when we just go away and nobody will know that we've just gone away and we go our way not to any plush place or any but anywhere where we think we can have some quiet you know and he does play with the children he has a relationship with them he takes them swimming and all that maybe if you saw those pictures ah it's not the bishop you know so i feel that many men of god their lives are out there but they have a lot of hidden aspects of their lives in my house is my husband who lays out bed and then he makes tea for me every morning [Applause] and it's me who rejects the tea and then it becomes an issue [Applause] you know and just a couple of days ago he was giving my little daughter some chicken and my daughter would say no no i don't want to say you are just like your mother everything you are giving you don't want you know but i'm learning to accept things but every morning we have some quality time together and we catch up with each other you know he may have his bible on his lap i may have my bible but we catch up on issues what's happening whatever and then and my husband is a better communicator he phones me more than i phone him you're surprised he sends me more text than i send him you know so i may look so whatever but he's more romantic than i am but of course his schedule is also heavy and there are times when i come to breaking point and i think this is hard there are times i've asked god i've given and given and given what else is there to give there are times i've cried and said i've given you everything including the person that means so much to me i've given you know sometimes when it comes so we can barely open his eyes and i have issues but he has solved your issues and his styles a few days ago he was telling me you know i'm tired issues days i was saying that maybe you should just allow god to take over many of the issues because i think that you are getting weary with issues so sometimes i have my own issues but i don't bring them because the person is already tired am i now going to bring my issues today maybe tall and long so there are times i even weep in secret so that i will not break his heart or make him discouraged those times also exist there's summer in my life and there's also winter but in such times i've learned to depend on god sometimes i stop everything and i just go away with my cd my messages my whatever i want to do and god just speaks to me i do all my weeping and i come back refreshed so the things that i tell you to do there are things that i do myself amen [Applause] auntie please ask a professional woman how do you balance work and still maintain your home am i a professional woman pastoring is profession okay um i think it takes a lot of grace some wisdom delegation get help when you need help you may have to get house help it doesn't mean you give your whole house to the household you must still stay in control some of you you have dashed your houses it should not be so amen and then also good planning plan plan that thursday is your marketing day when you go to i still go to the market the people in my house have never been to the market i still go because i enjoy going but as time has gone on people have gotten to know me people i don't know cassava sellers say hey bishop nia so i stopped going to kaneshi market the last time i was in dan suman market i said to the lady this onion reduce it add some and she was just doing that at a point she said sister mommy i have reduced quickly i packed my things [Applause] i quit i paid her quickly no issues i left so i think that good planning and delegation and knowing when to say no you see sometimes i have a tall order come and cut my cake come and do daughter come and preach come and dedicate my shop this morning last yesterday morning somebody said come and dedicate my shop come and dedicate my business come and counsel me come and i've learned to say no sometimes because i've learned to put limits on myself say this one i can't do it this one there's a limit so sometimes i say no i want to come and see you for council it's very edges i'm not there this week is daughter i'm not there i have learned to say no i'm not very good at saying no but after being my turquoise for about 18 years i've learned to say no so you must also learn to say no try with the wisdom of god to plan seek help when you can train the people around you so that they can take a lot of you and give people what they can do you know you don't have to do everything yourself and i think that it's quite a short meeting but i hope i've helped to and talk to other women they always have new ideas how you freeze food where to get this when you interact you get better if you have to get house up it's another woman will usually help you auntie mammy my question is that how come you talk with so much grace or mercy it's the doing of the lord how can i be like you the same god who made me would do the same for you amen it is advisable to date a guy at the age of 21 it depends on how mature you are if i got married at 21 i couldn't have coped but some people could cope maybe at 21. if i got married at 21 i would go home to my mother every day you know so maturity is not age but it's whether you are emotionally ready marriage takes a lot of your emotion whether you are psychologically and mentally ready financially ready spiritually ready 21 are you ready to be cooking for somebody's son three times a day and not enjoying your youth sometimes to its fullest are you ready to be disturbed at night when you sleep are you ready to go to the market and combine it with your schoolwork and all that so i think everybody is different and some people may be able to marry at 21 but not i sell the cats how can we be real when we are not with ourselves like we do not trust our call i don't understand the question how can we be real when we are not with ourselves like we do not trust our call we are not real with ourselves how can we be real when we are not ourselves we are not real with ourselves like we do not trust our call and you have to begin to agree with god everything that god has said to you you need to meditate on it's not just reading it's not just hearing but if you meditate on it it profits you meditation makes the word profitable so meditate on what god has made you and it will make you believe and be real hello please what if my husband stops becoming a christian how can i continue continue because the two of you are not called together adam had this punishment he had his punishment if your husband has backslidden it's painful but it has nothing to do with you the bible says he will be warned by your conversation your behavior so just continue pressing on in the lord and pray for him intercede for him that the lord will touch him amen but you shouldn't lose your faith because he has lost his how do you continue being spiritual when you see yourself getting into sin always and the devil looks at work for idol hands most of the time when you are idle and you are in places where you shouldn't be that's when you get into trouble you know but when you are involved and you have a shepherd over your life somebody you are answerable to accountable to it helps you to keep out of sin so open up your life to somebody so that the person can call you like reverence like he was saying somebody said faster i'm here i'm about to remove my belt why are you there in the fest the person said zip your child as he did put on your belt he did walk out then he did not all of us who have such personal holy ghosts but when you have somebody looking up to you and then also the more you stay in god's presence the more you are empowered to be holy you see but modern day christians we don't want to sacrifice anything we don't want to pay a price but we have to pay a price amen so see somebody who you see as spiritual to help you with your sin and give you practical ways to overcome i want to know with you having children how best can you have a quiet and effective quiet time i lock my door and i stay in there and then they come we know you are in there we know then some start to cry some start to fight behind my door he took my socks i shut out i said this is me time this is god's time so no matter who what it's as a phone even rings i just need to hear from the master so i've learned to also say no to my children sometimes because they'll control you if you don't take care what do you do if your husband complains about staying late in church because he's not in church with you well some of the days you can catch up to your conversation so that he sees that you are making an effort do you understand and if you have to meet somebody and it can be done before church then do it before and then when you come share fellowship a bit and leave we all understand use wisdom otherwise you can be banned completely and then it becomes another issue how can i become anointed like you first lady i think i've answered that question but thank you for your own kindness how will you help when the person feels rejected get the tip daughter when you feel rejected i believe it will bless you can i accept the advance of marriage of someone who just gave his life to christ hmm yes you can but i will say give him some time bible says prove all things and hold fast to that which is good and things are proven with time things are tested with time to allow him to grow up a bit as a christian but some people become late as christians they come as christians late but they grow very quickly you know paul was a grown-up man when he became born again but he did more than you and i who maybe were born into christianity do you understand so god has a purpose and a call for everybody but give him time and don't make yourself a condition that unless i see you as very serious i won't say i was i won't say yes just say that oh let's study each other and see but if you put that condition we'll be forced to be unreal with you but just allow god and god will bless you and i trust that we will avail ourselves of the messages the dvds you know reverend saki was saying yesterday we spend money on so many things but we don't want to spend money on spiritual things the queen of sheba took a journey from the outermost parts of the world to hear the wisdom of solomon and many of us to take a journey even to this place for this meeting it's a problem because we are not used to investing in spiritual things but let's invest in spiritual things and god will bless us thank you [Music]

Channel: Lady Rev. Adelaide Heward-Mills Official Videos

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Id: eQT-_0nTI3k

Length: 21min 54sec (1314 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 08 2021