>>> LIVE FROM THE BRANDY MELVILLE BALLROOM, IT'S THE BRAXTON HIGH SCHOOL PROM RED CARPET. >> HELLO AND WELCOME TO THIS YEAR'S RED CARPET COVERAGE FOR TAMAR BRAXTON HIGH SENIOR PROM. I'M THIRSTY JUNIOR P.J. RUE. >> AND I'M KATIE SERVAC. >> KATIE, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR LEG? >> I WAS MAKING OUT UNDER THE BLEACHERS AND THEY FOLDED UP ON ME. >> ROUGH. WELL, HERE TO GIVE US THE SCOOP ON WHAT'S HAPPENING INSIDE PROM IS SUPER SENIOR JACOB SCHNEEB. >> SCHNEEB! >> SUP, GUYS. SCHNEEB HERE AT THE ANNIE YOUNG MEMORIAL CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN. SHE DIDN'T DIE, SHE MOVED. >> NOW SCHNEEB, THIS IS YOUR THIRD SENIOR YEAR, BECAUSE YOU'RE IN EVERY CLUB, BUT YOU JUST CAN'T PASS PRE-ALGEBRA. >> YEAH, RIGHT, MAN. I DO SHOW CHOIR, CALLIGRAPHY, AND I'M THE ONLY ONE STRONG ENOUGH TO TOSS THE CHEERLEADERS, SO, LIKE, THERE'S NO TIME FOR CLASS. >> THANKS, SCHNEEB. AND I'M HEARING WE HAVE OUR FIRST ARRIVAL. AH, IT'S DANNY SPOOGE AND A MYSTERY DATE WHO'S OUT OF HIS LEAGUE! >> DANNY, CONGRATULATIONS ON A DATE WAY HOTTER THAN YOU. TELL US, HOW'D YOU BAG? >> SHE'S HOMESCHOOLED, SO SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW HOT SHE IS. >> HOMESCHOOLED. OKAY, THEN I GOT TO ASK, HIPPIE OR CRAZY RELIGIOUS? >> NOTHING CRAZY. OUR BIBLE IS ONLY EIGHT PAGES AND MY UNCLE DREW IT. >> THAT'S INSANE! SCHNEEB, BACK TO YOU. >> BREAKING NEWS, I HAVE A FRESHMAN AT PROM! KID, TELL US WHO YOU ARE AND HOW THE HELL YOU'RE HERE. >> AH, I'M TED VINAIGRETTE, I'M 14 AND I MET MY DATE BECAUSE SHE BABY SAT ME LAST YEAR. >> SO, NOW, TED, YOU ARE PRESENTING TONIGHT. >> WHAT DO YOU MEAN? >> I CAN SEE YOUR BONER. >> OH, SORRY. >> NO, IT'S FINE. IT'S FINE, MAN. ENJOY THE NIGHT. BACK TO YOU GUYS. >> WE'RE HERE WITH A BIG GROUP OF POPULAR KIDS. WHERE DID YOU TAKE PICTURES TONIGHT? >> WE LINED UP IN FRONT OF MY STEP-MOM'S HUGE TV. WE MADE IT LOOK LIKE A FIREPLACE. >> AND WE PILED INTO A NASTY WHITE HUMMER LIMO. I POKED MY HEAD OUT THE ROOF AND JUST SCREAMED. >> YEAH, BUT FIRST, WE STOPPED OR A BEAUTIFUL 4:00 P.M. DINNER AT RED ROBIN. TIPPED 12% BECAUSE WE BALLERS. >> LEXI, YOU LOOK ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING TONIGHT. >> THANK YOU. >> WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? >> GREEN. >> AND WHO IS IT BY? >> MALL. >> OKAY. YOU -- CAN YOU EXPLAIN THIS PEEK-A-BOO MOMENT? >> I DON'T HAVE A MOM, SO NO ONE'S HONEST WITH ME. >> BEFORE YOU GO, ANY PROM KING PREDICTIONS? >> UM, ME, BECAUSE I'M ON LACROSSE, BUT ALSO DID THE PLAYS. >> OH, ABSOLUTELY. SCHNEEB, WHAT YOU GOT COOKING? >> WELL, DOESN'T GET MORE PROM THAN THIS. IT'S TWO DORKS WHO BANG. NOW, I GOT TO TELL YOU, THERE ARE A LOT OF DORKS WHO BANG. WHAT MAKES YOU TWO SPECIAL? >> WELL, WE MET IN STAGE CREW BUT THEN WE DISCOVERED WE'RE BOTH IN BAND. >> YEAH. AND NOW WE HAVE FULL SEX EVERY DAY. >> OH, WOW. CONGRATULATIONS. SO, TELL US ABOUT THE RIBBON YOU'RE WEARING. WHAT IS IT RAISING AWARENESS FOR? >> MY MOM'S RIBBON STORE. >> OF COURSE. WHICH REMINDS ME, TONIGHT'S PROM IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY WATER BOTTLES. PUT THE ALCOHOL IN THE BOTTLE AND SAY IT'S WATER! STRAPLESS BRA. BY THE END OF THE NIGHT, YOUR BRA IS A BELT WITH A STRAPLESS BRA. AND OF COURSE, HAND STUFF. STAY PURE BY DOING HAND STUFF. KATIE? >> I'M BEING TOLD THAT A PARTY BUS HAS UNLOADED. LET'S SEE WHO JUST GOT TO PROM. >> IT'S MICHELLE! MICHELLE, YOU GOT A REALLY INTENSE SPRAY TAN. ARE YOU WORRIED THIS IS A HATE CRIME? >> NO, BECAUSE I'M HALF PUERTO RICAN, SO, WE IN THE CLEAR. >> HERE COMES MR. MILLER! THE HOT SUB WHO IS 23! >> SO, WE HEARD YOU ARE DOING THE S.A.T.ED THIS YEAR, IS THAT TRUE? >> YEAH, OR I MIGHT JUST PUT ON "TOKYO DRIFT." >> OH, GOD. MR. MILLER, I HAD A DREAM THAT YOU PUSHED ME INTO THE POOL. HOW EFFED UP IS THAT? >> NOT THAT EFFED. ANYWAY, I SHOULD HEAD INSIDE. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE CHAPERONE. [ SCREAMING ] >> WELL, GUYS, I JUST GOT SOME TERRIBLE NEWS. I PASSED PRE-ALGEBRA AND NOW I HAVE TO GRADUATE. >> AH, SCHNEEB. >> WE'RE SO SORRY. >> IT'S OKAY. ALL I ASK IS -- ♪ DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT SCHNEEB ♪ DON'T DON'T ♪ DON'T DON'T ♪ DON'T DON'T ♪ DON'T DON'T
