Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher (1995-03-29)

oh you're just saying nice to me to get to my guests I know I've been through this before anyway we're happy to be here live from LA once again it seems like every time we come under this big news yesterday did you hear this a big fire in Malibu at the home of Jeffrey Katzenberg one of the DreamWorks team I know they asked him to describe it he said it's kind of backdraft meets the plier now on to the really important news back in Washington senator Howell Heflin of Alabama I believe announced his retirement I know a sad day but he is a little piece easel let's famine he remembers when Old Spice was just called spice old it was good news though for his archrival Strom Thurmond you know he's 92 and he said now that heflin's retiring he's going to sleep easier at night and in the day and it breakfast the cabinet meetings he's an old tired man anyway now here's the story this loser made was in Time magazine they were talking about the environment they said methane production methane it's funny already isn't it methane no did you read this 20% of it it's produced from termite flatulence and the other 80% Ned Beatty no but I was I was curious why so much from termite flatulence I found out don't mix wood with dairy that's the grain now did you hear this Kmart's a couple weeks ago they fired the head guy there and they are so they can't find they're searching for a new CEO well he is not just like it even they can't find a Kmart employee when they need one and I thought this was interesting at PBS they have announced that they're going to do a Hispanic version of a Sesame Street in the in the first episode governor Pete Wilson shows up and all right if you're so clever then make up your own punchline he denies services to Ernie and Bert that's what I know in a future episode the letter a gets killed in a knife fight anyway we've got a great show and it's all okay thank you very much let's meet our panel first she with Michael Dukakis national campaign manager in his race for the presidency today she's a professor at the University of Southern California Law Center and columnist for USA Today Susan esteridge what are they going to do for Kato yeah he won an Emmy for his portrayal of a country contain the landmark television series roots he is one of the hosts and producers of the PBS series Reading Rainbow which yesterday has nominated for six Emmys levar burton one of the premier calm first time he is the car of HBO's Larry Sanders show my friend mr. Garry Shandling and finally his entry into the world of celebrity can only be described as baptism by fire easily the most talked-about man in the nation Brian Kato Kaelin okay all right pedal well Philip boreal before you go on there's a lady who literally gave Kato a standing ovation if I may say that is one of the saddest things I've ever seen this must be an easy room I don't remember anybody in the trial standing up for the house other than OJ he was happy jealousy is enough refrain Gary give you a standing ovation oh no I think they were standing and then Gary stand up for Gary one time a reluctant stand yeah and please this young man has been through enough we I think that's the woman who was thumping on the wall it's um six roofie that broke in jumped over the wall and something that says and I got the map I'm trying to get to see Kaito leave him I think he got a thump you and she's dead I'm sorry I was stunned by the standing ovation now Gary now I promise that this young man has been through an ordeal a baptism by fire as we said and he's probably had enough of lawyers and now we've had enough of comedians I'm a bad boy you're making the Laureus look good sorry bill all right I thought it was funny bill all right that's all that's important because you are the biggest star in America oh no and yet we were together at a dinner yes in Washington a couple of weeks ago were you at that dinner no but I've heard of them in the past you've been at the biggest you're in politics I know food from when you were there it's actually better than that veal was none of you old anyway I got in a little bit of trouble not nearly the kind of I got in a lot of trouble Thank You Lenore not nearly the kind of I was hired to do this but I hadn't just show up and they thought I was out of line and my question is I think they're out of line I think that Washington is out of touch let me just tell you a couple of things that they thought these were a couple of jokes I think are innocuous they were very upset about isomeric mayor Marion Barry I said he had it he ain't no more he had a plan to get drugs off the street one gram at a time I'm offended by that as a professional comedian you do not do crack jokes to marry in front of marionberry you do hooker jokes another one here was about senator Phil Gramm I said his slogan is for people who don't think Bob Dole was mean enough I I said he's so tough on immigration he's going to have his wife deported but his wife is korean-american that's you know now levar you're Korean you do you find that offensive as if I think that why you got into trouble for that remark is because you are not of Asian extraction uh-huh do you see what I'm saying so you're saying I should have had my eyes done before I did it that seems unreasonable to me but anyway it yes it's okay it's okay for for an asian-american to tell a joke like that but it's not okay for a white boy would you really do it on your own I have to take a bragger way over time we're talking about how out of touch Washington is because I did a few jokes about Barry and Graham and Strom Thurmond I did I said Strom Thurmond went to the Vietnam Memorial and said mr. Gorbachev tear down this wall thank you they really booed that they know what's amazing about it here are these guys right if they raise politics for real who we're supposed to be running the country and divide people try to get to the White House off race you're a comedian you're allowed to tell jokes they do it for real and they get away with it it was really trying to president it slipped out it slipped out they do it to the president every single day turn on you and say how do you think the president doesn't like the airport he laughs it the word makes him laugh I know I noticed the president the president was laughing the treasurer was laughing at yourself thank you very much Hillary wasn't no Hillary doesn't diggin you at all she wasn't that I don't know I was diggin you I saw a little bit little chicken on the lip I saw that he was and when you say check it on the lip whoa I think we all know what that means what happened yeah when it's chicken in the check hey that's better right bad chicken yeah no I thought let me tell you something I wish I would do maybe otherwise about the Republicans and Clinton would laugh I would do a joke about the Democrats and Newt Gingrich was laughs then I did a joke about Jesse Jackson they both laugh they both that they both love that one anyway I was thinking Washington was out of touch but they also say Hollywood is out of touch and I think it's true this is the headline in today's New York Post Dave makes Jack gag Jack Nicholson apparently was upset because Dave Letterman at the Oscars did this thing about where if he did an impression of Jack Nicholson he hit a car with a golf club he was using the wrong Club No well then here would be the right color so my question is I mean who is more out of touch Hollywood or Washington I think another hard one yeah talk daddy really I mean it's the same town isn't it Hollywood and DC but you know I noticed I think politics is a branch of showbiz and that's what you mean well it is definitely a branch apologies right they're both one industry towns politics and show business they both thrive on power influence ego there it's just that they said speaking of David Letterman they said remember when he moved to 11:30 our number one hit one before Letterman moved to 11:30 that segue I know you you made a segue from the political thing to speaking of David Letterman in the audience is laughing but you didn't realize that they were laughing at it there he was talking about but how about your own encounters field I thought your show was in HBO it's on why by the way ten fifteen weren't you watching my show what about a little creep ugh my logo when you said well I know it was between 10:00 and 10:30 you thank you don't well write 200 far more pain New York New York 101 welcome back yes sir Gary if it's a hung jury in the retrial I'll mention that right well that's so sweet of you oh I just assumed a guy like you probably has an illegal cable hookup I'm sorry Oh what knock knock Megan maybe scream Megan three knock-knock do a treat - Aiza who's there oh you know it wasn't Tony Orlando and Dawn but caring if I mail funny uh-oh he ought to be which brings up an interesting point I mean as a comedian you've been in situations like I was in and watch I think it happen do you think there is a point that it is in a program I think that the inappropriateness goes all the way back to Will Rogers when he said to Roosevelt hey get out of the chair and blow me if you know there was live television mean anything you just don't care do you that kind of faux pas a long tradition and among comedians but actually there's you out you said oh I didn't I don't intend to offend anyone fine then I say it's a gift bill you brought up FDR there is a long-standing tradition of politicians trying to associate themselves with something positive I mean why do presidents always call the locker room I mean you know your man Dukakis used to call the Buffalo Bills locker he was in the stands when the Challenger below age I had no anything I think in the right place at the right time funny hats are bad - yeah he was in tank boy right that's right for him but he was a good guy very good night dad yes I had a car he lost the show but you try sitting in a chair for five days what about you try sitting in a chair for finding what happens when you're here you give there for you yeah working with Garrett right all right how I feel when I'm watching you but cold okay you should head home I do you really want to know if you can't laugh at yourself well if you're grounded I can do anything Susan right if you're grounded that's all matters in really nice is that the third plus your problem for some reason yes I thought you did really well by the worse I mean they talked about no I'm going to understand oh yeah because you know I've heard a lot of people say socially Angelenos they say you know this trial is costing four or five million dollars to the taxpayer money I say to the entertainment value every day on television I mean Waterworld across 170 million the crap two drink minimum I'm drinking an imperious Li when you got off that one about you know we don't go for the same part I said really especially on daytime you don't usually find that China I got a lot of coaching from rusty Bailey a lot rusty on People's Court right yeah yeah you weren't the only one who came in prepared material anyway we've got right and fellas fellas please and we're doing so other than that were just given us more time how come Gary got the girl because she's he's shamming yeah yeah he's the man he's the guy let me give you Jason you can get the girl too Oh Kenny girl right there she is right there they're everywhere you must be having a real hard time with chicks these days as ever by the way I saw that picture of you and we held up the pictures yesterday from the New Yorker that is the Annie Leibovitz pictures ah you do it I mean you see I am no sort of homo but I wanted you I've heard it before let me know I'd like to see you on the witness stand bill let me take one more step with this because it is my job you heard that I didn't say that scuffle yes we were talking about I mentioned Jack Nicholson I was saying the people in Washington couldn't take a joke at themselves how awful they were but then Jack Nicholson couldn't take a joke at himself because he was in front of the same kind of body as those Washington people his peers and and what have been dared to make a joke at his expense you know isn't he crazy what they've done to David Letterman I'm not thought he was funny and my feeling it's just like what they do in politics it's just like what they'll do to you I mean they let somebody you know the more you succeed the more people have to tear you down and take your party to me with tiny balls well I was trying to Gary you today I came to words with Letterman the other he's right on hey I thought they was funny I did too well that brings up something I've always thought which is that the dirty little secret of show business is that even when they love you they hate you that they really want you to have a terrible problem could be the source of your popularity I just mean I mean that they sense that that you are a man with some problems in your life and people like you for that well at least a sense that I'm a man I'm happy about that right which brings up another interesting topic which is what we call artist writer portrayal now when they made the movie true lies did you see that movie the air the bad guys were the Arabs yes and the Arabs process it because they were portrayed as terrorists and the Arabs were very mad in fact there are so many global buildings in Basic Instinct there was a you know there was a very minor theme that the the woman in it was also gay bisexual love interest and the gays protested because it's all were you saying all gays are ice pick murderers and you know get over yourself the movie isn't about gays I mean don't you think that an artist has a right to portray what he sees even if it's politically incorrect to a certain group well I think if it's an actor going into a part no matter what its if you're not if it's real it's every film will be a documentary it has to be make-believe doesn't it but what is laid out Hitler was a nice guy in a movie I mean what if there was a movie in which a doctor a you know one there is a movie where he's a nice guy it's called triumph of the will yeah yeah well any rough until it shows him playing with his dog Ron who talks with the little and they were not cheated sure the dogs have that little mustache yeah I guess Hitler ruined that for everybody by the way I get my passion wanted to wear that but yeh can't tell where the helmets ne are you good luck on you I think so you know the way that artists portray real people I think is very tricky because I happen to know the real Butthead and he's upset cuz he's a very I'm okay with it very nice guy he's a very nice guy intelligent guy and he's not about that family man upset that he's the same for Beavis because I live next door to me and pays his own rent one of these cartoon money as as long as you're up his Kalon knocked out why don't you know I'm not telling that joke because that's a difference between you and I I know what's appropriate I tell you that why I just go and I did on it's a joke no I won't tell that it's a joke oh no it's too it is too harsh but alright can you whisper this is a joke who is this yes I had nothing to do with this skill we were not my joke by the way Oh God let me just tell you who wrote this joke okay Rosa Lopez then we'll need an interpreter for the joke we were in Aspen last week at the HBO comedy festival and Gary told us to a couple of people and I went around like wildfire Albert Brooks in his little symposium he was so enamored with the joke that he actually told it they said you know here's the deal he's just going to hurt my feelings yes and I'm going to tell you something going the first time I am with you on this it's going to hurt mind really is I think this is inappropriate okay here we go Oh Garry Shandling enough you're such a he said look alright he said the winner this is gang said Nicole is gone or Jays in jail how bright is Kato we still not in the big house I will there are your curls the Rodgers blue let me kick his ass for you can man yep I can laughs I think here no you can make honest God I mean I apologize and you should for telling that no age you laugh at the joke when you know I didn't do that I stood up and protested and walked out of the room and wrote it down Coleman it's harder than the politicians run because every time I hear these jokes not the very funny one you know it's good but it's like then I spit and I think to myself there were these two people who were dead and this is like a really rather serious to do but but even but let me tell you something that is absolutely true but we know from being comedians if you took away every bit of subject matter that was talking I would have nothing to joke by and people need the release of almost almost the most tragic situation they have to have some sort of release I think part of the problem with the man you were with running for president like I do with a lot Michael Dukakis now Michael Dukakis a lot of them liked his policies of what he was humorless yeah I mean he had no sense of humor I remember at the debate they asked him they said what would you do if your wife was brutally raped and I remember I'd former committee I studied the situation and I'm against the death penalty deal but you know it's true it really is true he isn't really a humorous man I feel like I need to you know I'm Lipari is a nice man but but publicly no I do yeah I got that one out you know if he hadn't run for president with that thing around his head he could have done a lot of time did you wear that with that from Star Trek or was that in route Cetacea I need to change I think it says a barking dog thank you very much pressure country what how do you know Michael Dukakis his son and I are good friends oh really and and your impression of him so do the impression I think Michael is a very intelligent man who just didn't know how to go for the jugular his problem is that that he wimped out in and that's why he lost the election he wouldn't he would not think to the sort of politics that that Bush was planning yeah I was I was for every Democrat lost in the 80 88 488 you work for Carter yeah Mondale Kennedy new caucus Ferraro more never any others right we try about it how did we get up and I'm saying we're deception well you know the good thing about it is I didn't do anything in 1994 and they lost without know it could be me I think you know I think politics is one of the most disgusting games going right now I mean it really is kind of awful you know I don't mind the joke they prepare but what politicians do to each other is you know sort of a national disgrace I I agree with Laura I mean Michael Dukakis just didn't know how to get in the gutter and toss mud with both hands okay and you can't succeed in politics unless you're willing badass and the worst of it is if you're not some kind of weirdo you can't survive in politics anyway because they'll be but I mean I can understand how someone might say well if you can't get in the gutter and fight with George Bush how are you going to do it with Saddam Hussein I mean if you're not man enough and you know I mean by taking on the let my friend yeah second on the lip kind of man know how to contract isn't that a valid point now mate that we don't really want or don't really shouldn't have a gentleman president well I think that we should do we need them to I want a woman our president and I don't have a joke about this I think we should have a woman but I don't think there's anything wrong about a woman president I think we should have any woman president well I mean I kind of like the president huh good he's frightened she laughed at a lack of our material he you know the joke you did about the spoon fork was so although it's Clinton's I'm sorry that's right he whenever he went up before me and he was very funny he was very fun he was a little too funny how was I were you it was difficult I said to him you know I said before I said you know don't be too funny because I got to follow your my opening act and he is yeah because the bloodworth-thomason wrote his material and we know how funny designing women' is I think you and I have proven the comedian's are angry deeply angry bitter feeling bitter and erotic front no I love a little a little neurotic a little than that yeah well I said it's frustrating to me that Bill Clinton is this is this is my bilkins my generation Bill Clinton is the first president of it's it's hard for me to think that this is the best my generation has to offer of my generation I mean I guess our low Guthrie was tied up you're not available I mean Arlo would have inhale you don't you know I don't want to go back to that field you know dated but you know I disagree because I started this show talking about being in touch you're out of touch I mean Bush did not know what a supermarket scanner was right I mean Clinton screws around at least he gets out anyway I think it's timely that we've run a conversation just as we've run out of time I know I got a little I got a little tired okay I have to thank my guests for a memorable show mr. Garre gently Elkhart Eric thank you folks you

Channel: NoCowEyes

Views: 47,522

Keywords: Politically Incorrect (TV Program), Bill Maher (Author), Garry Shandling (Comedian), Kato Kaelin (TV Personality), LeVar Burton (TV Director), Susan Estrich, O. J. Simpson (Author), murder, trial, Comedy (TV Genre), Talk Show (TV Genre)

Id: gLScVLHshPs

Length: 32min 27sec (1947 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 30 2013