Personality Tests & Enneagram Types (it gets deep) | Sierra Unfiltered Ep. 9

pop the popcorn put on your comfiest pajamas and grab a drink because it's time for a new episode of Ciara unfiltered hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Ciara unfiltered hate friends I love that we have the podcast now because I feel like whenever whenever we're having a good conversation we'll be like oh we should do that as a podcast totally which is totally how today's podcast came to be Skyler and I recently found out her uh Enneagram numbers wasn't right for you I've known mine for at least a year oh really yeah so I found mine out maybe a month ago and like it was just like a fun little thing I was like no I'll sit down I was with my cousin of my aunt nan like we'll take it together and then I literally like left cuz it was like so mine flown like left the place that you were at when your cousin and aunt and they were like left just like emotionally no like like it like physically got like after like maybe 45 minutes later I was like still thinking about my unnie a Grimm type I was like I think I need to go home like it just I've taken a lot of personality tests cuz I love that kind of stuff total don't meet you for whatever reason my Enneagram type when I was reading the description like cut me to the core I think it's because it also says like the negative traits that you carry and like what you should work on yeah and that was a big thing for me I was like oh my gosh too real because I think it's really easy to be like oh wow I'm so kind I take care of people or for you like I'm such a leader I'm such a change maker but when it's like yeah you really don't take care of yourself and like when you don't take care of yourself you spiral you're like oh I feel like it makes you feel very seen and then more recently we were hanging out with two other youtubers around me and Alicia who also have a podcast and we were talking about our Enneagram numbers because you and Rami have the same one and me and Alicia have the same one and they sent us this like podcast and this album of this guy who wrote songs for every Enneagram type then I listen to mine and I cried yeah me too so for this episode we thought it would be fun too so prior to this episode we took three personality tests the Enneagram test which we had already done the myers-briggs test and the color code test and we have our answers and we're gonna kind of like talk about them deconstruct them like delve deep into ourselves and each other which is so exciting it's so exciting but before we do that what should drink in jinx you owe me a cranberry juice I was gonna say white club because you know you're not supposed to drink when you're pregnant but if you didn't know there ain't no laws when you're drinking glass oh my god I'm just kidding please don't quite close when you're pregnant this has gone too far I'm drinking a white club too much just to clarify I absolutely have not drink and I haven't even drank since we were trying to conceive no but if you wanted to there would be no laws if you were drinking cause my god recently the portland oregon police department tweeted out like contrary to popular internet belief there is in fact laws that apply when you are drinking clothes this revolution has gone too far what are you drinking though I am drinking cranberry juice I know and what are you drinking the amount of white clam memes in my DMS has like really gotten to a point and but don't stop like keep sending me white claw memes see I have never tasted a white cloth cuz when that face started to happen we were like trying to conceive yeah and also I'm not like a big Seltzer person like I wasn't a big truly person and Leasing white clothes are like the same well and if there was overlap like I didn't know I wasn't super excited about it and I feel like you've gotten into it in the last couple months oh yeah well that's the thing I honestly the taste of what Klaus and truely's are the same like if they're both there I have no preference it's the culture it's the culture I love white culture like someone I in a vlog I had mentioned that like if I'm drinking a truly like what am I even supposed to say and they said time to get unruly when you're drinking a truly or ain't no rule ease when you're drinking truely's which like Gian by like ain't no laws when you're drinking clothes oh my gosh this retreat literally we are just filming a video where you dress like you did in high school yeah and we are talking about how like your style is so funny to look back on because it was like so much sporty-er than it is now like in one of them you were wearing like a backwards hat it had like blue hair extensions which is just like that's white claw culture yeah white claw culture is wearing Uggs with shorts while wearing your boyfriend's hat backwards and drinking a white cloth yeah in a basement if only white clogs had been around when I was of age not in high school what is your unpopular opinion today oh I feel like this is it hey my hot take your hot take that's right we're not calling them unfold and say I actually don't feel like this is that unpopular of an opinion okay bye ha take my hot take is that honeydew and cantaloupe just suck I I am such a fruit person like literally one of my pregnancy cravings lately has been that I go through the McDonald's drive-through and just us for like three packs of apple slices in the water they're like are you that's that's what you want you're like yeah like I'm such a big fruit person but cantaloupe and honeydew get incorporated and tell like every fruit salad every little like to go pack of fruit and they taint the other fruits flavors and they're just like flavorless gross nothing everyone says that we are hot takes can't be that hot because we always agree with each other but I can't help it I you agree with you on this like it's just that Ryerson but see I will disagree with you on one thing I actually like cantaloupe if it's on its own okay like my I don't know why I associate it with my childhood cuz like when I was swimming in the pool as a kid or like at the beach my mom would always bring a cantaloupe and cut it open yeah so like if there's cantaloupe individually I'll eat it and it tastes good yeah honeydew straight sucks no matter what I just feel like I I do think that cantaloupe is the lesser of two evils you do is just like weird and it's like green it's like it's not it looks like it could be a vegetable yeah and like that's not what I want in my fruits out yeah you want your fruits to be like vibrant didn't like so sweet and like maybe have an interesting texture like watermelon for me is the one fruit that I don't love oh really but I'll eat it just cuz I feel like it's kind of like Airy yeah but anyway but I feel like every as a vegetarian I'm not frequently tempted to order like a fruit cup you're like a fruit uh fruit bowl because a lot of the times that's like one of the only things I can get a hundred percent and I'm like but is it gonna be like pineapple grapes watermelon and dah berries strawberries or is it gonna be like 90% honeydew and then like a piece of cantaloupe antegrade yeah cuz I don't want that that is the struggle of my life I agree with you I feel so seen if I do you if you are like a fan of honeydew come for us in the comments I think Kyle might like honeydew also we have to address them soon as she said Kyle the light bulb went off in my head my husband has an alter ego he catfished us so if you guys are member on the husband cast episode Kyle was making fun of me for never linking things in the description which I will admit I am terrible of and I will clown on myself about that I why do you keep saying I will clown on me I will pick up that phrase that's so Steven of you I'm like in the husband guess we talked about Steven picking up like a hella or like Stan I think I picked it up for my little brother oh I can see I think awesome plan on ourselves so I clown on myself about me not linking things in the description and in two episodes ago now that you're watching this but more recently as we're filming this I didn't link something in the description and a YouTube channel with the name links in the description and no profile photo just left a comment linking all of the things that I said I would link and did it and I comment I was like hahaha so funny and then Kyle Texas in our group chat and is like I'm the Phantom who is linked in the description I tell them all the time I'm like I feel like you like doing our jobs much like you should just come volunteer I just do volunteer hours and like really live your fantasy cuz if you're gonna listen to the entire episode in tracked like he doesn't have the links yes so track them down like why don't you just just do my job for me just put them in the description we just like edit the whole podcast feels like you love it so much if you love it so much one area i'll i guess you can marry one of the co-hosts so when i inevitably forget to link something in the description of this episode kyle can just leave you know what i'm just not even gonna link any of the tests that we took Kyle go ahead yeah I'll pin it Lynch in your permission he makes a website called like Skyler and Sierra's sucks org probably what I would not put it past him and Steve into like pay for the domain name Stephen would code the website Kyle would design it and then they would like type on like video or like pictures of us like derping I do click on it's all just like us like looking really rough anyways what's your unpopular or what's your hot take my hot take is that people who say cha-cha-cha during the Happy Birthday song ruin it retweet okay cuz here's the thing I get the sentiment I am a total attention and we all know this even I don't say cha-cha-cha in the Happy Birthday song like if anyone was gonna do it it would be me like there and here's the other guy the pause between happy birthday to you happy it's not actually long enough to say cha-cha-cha if you could say cha-cha-cha without interrupting the flow of the happy birthday song yep let's let's reenact it the reality of it is go ahead and sing happy birthday and happy birthday to you like it doesn't fit you know the only amendment I'll make is well I feel like people who sing cha-cha-cha making it about themselves yeah also this is very hard because Carly told us right before we started filming that she does the cha-cha-cha and I keep looking into the camera to like look at the camera and I see Carly just glaring at me Carly are you taking it personally but do you do the many more on chin okay so I was gonna say I think that's more okay than the cha-cha-cha because at least it's wrapped up yeah at least it's like he's blow or he or she is blown out the kid you can be cutting the cake as they're going and big fat lady on Channel 80 and you can keep going totally but I think the cha-cha-cha especially sometimes people will like clap along with it it's too much right yeah I I don't like Harley we get it you're quirky you're cute but you got to cut it out with the cha-cha-cha on your birthday we will cha-cha-cha for you though but only in your okay don't do it on my birthday bruisers birthday now I'm Bella's not on mine only we're all sorry currently we actually don't get you any presents or cards we just are going to allow you to sit for yourself we aren't gonna say it but you can sing happy birthday two years I think if you if you are the one saying cha-cha-cha on your own birthday I think that's fine oh that's totally fine because I guess celebrate that's yeah the birthday song is supposed to be about the person whose birthday it is and also it's so awkward to get your birthday song sung to you you don't sing it yeah so what you had to do with your hands if you're like clapping every like couple words and have a little interjection I think that's fine so sing it on your own birthday or have a good group consensus beforehand of like hey we're gonna sing happy birthday when the waiter comes out we are going to do the cha-cha-cha yes and then have that but like otherwise you're just messing with the flow I can't remember if it's my mom who's a cha cha cha person or not but it was my little brother's birthday recently and we were at the brewery and someone cha-cha-cha and I feel like it was my mom but it might have been Carter I don't know it could have been either it sounds like a my mom my mom sounds like a cha cha cha person Carter also kind of about cha cha cha what is your burger bump date my birthday yeah I was gonna say birthday thump birthday is March 19th I'm a Pisces my bump day is that Kyle felt the baby kick for the first time last night which is very exciting like working on the computer when Skyler came in this morning and we were just like kind of talking as I was writing a video description and then she said that nothing flipped around in my chair and I was like tell me everything so he'll tell us everything is so exciting because I've been feeling like little flutters but also a lot on this podcast I have anxiety and so all the time I like feel like flutters in my stomach even if I'm not pregnant like I always describe it to kyle is like it kind of feels like I'm on like the haunted man or not the haunted mansion the Tower of Terror at Disneyland I'm like going down on a drop and so I felt that like a lot recently and I was like I shouldn't be anxious like I'm walking into a CVS like I shouldn't like I'm laying in bed watching like I don't know a baking show and so I just kind of wrote it off as like I could be flutters but like probably not and then we've gone to an ultrasound and I had like my doctor do a fetal doppler on me recently in both times like the different people said that like he was one of the most active babies they've ever seen like he seriously the whole time was like kicking and punching and sucking his thumb and like doing all sorts of things and so they're like I'm really surprised you haven't felt him and so I think I was like made hyper aware of it and so last night we were laying in bed and I like put my hand because I was like kind of feeling it but like I put my head on my stomach and I felt it like from my hand I was like oh Kyle can probably feel this and so he did it and he felt it it was like a big kick so I'm really hoping that means he's a tap dancer not like a soccer player that's gonna say maybe he's a cheerleader lots of energy lots of spunk flexible yeah maybe he's just a little dancer they also said his really long legs so he's either gonna be like a volleyball player swimmer or a dancer I don't know where he gets that from though Kyle and I are not very active people it's so cute though I never called this a baby so I have really really bad hand-eye coordination that's one of my favorite facts about Skyler like she literally went just from like laying on her stomach sitting to like walking but that like my whole childhood like everything was done like that and I think at the time my mom was like oh look at my baby doing things so early but it's like now that I got older it's like I probably already wouldn't have been that good at sports like it's not necessarily like made for like the outdoors or heat or exercise but also the fact that like I just am kind of like a what are those the floaties outside of like car washes and the wacky waving inflatable tube men yeah anyway so that's now that you can feel kicks literally in the office just 24/7 I'm just gonna be like working with my hands on your something just like I want to feel really low like he's not up in like my ribs he had right so you just just like right how's anyone because I know a lot of people talk about when they're pregnant that like rain and people try to touch their stomach has that happened to you yet yes well so it's interesting because like the people that I'm actually close with they'll be like oh I want to touch it but like I won't I won't and I'll be like no like mom like you can touch my stomach that's fine oh I won't do it yeah but then like Franta like old people will just like grab it and I'm like especially when I was only like 14 15 weeks and like I was showing but it's not like a bump yeah like I still feel like that's in my bubble yeah it was really weird to have people just like throw their hand on your stomach you're like cool you're not feeling like I think it's unlike even with Kenzie she'd be like oh like my baby's having hiccups like wanna feel cuz like there's something to feel but it's weird we're like your babies it's like why are you touching my swaggin you're not feeling the baby yeah but I don't know I'm also a very touchy person so like if you ever want to touch my stomach go for it see maybe you should like extend that just to me and not like to the world just like to you and Carly yeah and like the people I know what about Bella definitely not maybe I'm a bruiser yes yes yes oh also um we're both hiding these little necklaces and say unfiltered because Kari Dayton sent these to us and like she said she had bought them for us when we launched the podcast and then she was gonna give them to us the next time she came out here but like we haven't planned a trip cuz we had one of them we had to cancel it and then when everything happened with Bibi Khan she was like I want to send them to you now and she sent them to us and it was so sweet we love Carrie I love the podcast so bad no we need away her grommets being like make Carrie a guest but she lives in Arizona so it's like a matter of coordinating a lot of things but we want her on she wants to be on yeah it will happen we're actually just now starting to book our first few guests so maybe not the next podcast or the one after that but maybe in like three or four podcasts I'd say in the next month and a half to be safe yeah we'll probably have our first guest which is exciting like youtuber yes not like husband yes yeah sorry Steven and Kylie goes you don't cut so should we get into our personality type so do we want to do that and Nia Graham first let's do any Graham first cuz I think that's the one I mean correct me if I'm wrong but I think that's the one that we're both most like attached to well and also I think it's someone we can talk about for the longest like I think the other ones are fun yeah but I feel like this one is very interesting so I am a type 3 which there's like two words for each so I am either the achiever or the performer I'm gonna talk for a second one look up what my other word is Oh yours was the perfectionist in the reformer right no that's okay so I'll read you just the brief about mine as a three so three is our self-assured attractive and charming ambitious competent and energetic they can also be status conscious and highly driven for advancement they are diplomatic in poise but can be overly concerned with their image and what others think of them they typically have problems with workaholism and competitiveness at their best they can be self accepting authentic everything they seem to be and role models who expire of inspire others their basic fear is being worthless their basic desire is to feel valuable and worthwhile and their key motivations are be affirmed to distinguish themselves from others to have attention to be admired and to impress others that is so interesting because I feel like that's just like nail in the head that's you and for the positive and the negative because at my best I'm a role model and at my worst I'm too obsessed with keeping up that image and and working to be perfect and working for all these achievements and like which I think it's so interesting that like one of your labels is the performer because that makes so much sense and then the other is the achiever which I feel like are kind of the two aspects of my channel is that like I'm a performer I used to be a theatre kid you know I'm good at being on on-camera I'm on stage whatever it is but in terms of the achiever like I will stay up till 2:00 in the morning like editing a video yeah or and I'm not even like oh my gosh I have to stay up late I'm like I want to stay up late because I want to get to this goal yeah that's like even back in the day when we were first figuring out like who we wanted to hire on or like what other things we want to outsource I remember you being like I like editing I like scheduling I like doing all these things and it's like I I get that you like to work like 80 hour weeks but that's not helpful for you so let's figure out what you like to do the least instead of like what you don't like to do like I didn't want to hire on an editor or an assistant or a producer because I was like I can do all of it yeah and I'm like and I can achieve it and I can do it on my own yeah but it's like that leads to the workaholism aspect where like and I think a lot of people who have a better work/life balance on YouTube are either outsourcing like I am now or they're just like I can I don't need to post two videos a week yeah I can post a video every month I don't need to post on Instagram today I don't need this to be perfect whereas I'm like I need to have everything perfect I want I my like biggest fears like letting down my viewers like multiple times I've missed a video and I literally think in my head like everyone's gonna hate me yeah and then I look at the comments and everyone's like girl take your time like you never miss uploads you're good like take care of yourself but in my head I'm like if I don't hit the goals that I set for myself which are two videos a week and you know and a podcast and vlogs right we've even we've talked to other youtubers who like don't look at their analytics like they just like aren't interested like it's not healthy for them whereas I feel like you're someone who you look at them and like are honest about them yeah like I think it was the last podcast we did or maybe two ago where you're hot take was that like the algorithm like isn't against you yeah and I feel like you're always very self-aware of like oh this video is like it's been five minutes and it's not it's the average five minute view mark and then you're hard on yourself and you're like oh but at ten minutes it's totally fine and I think a lot of people like want to be on camera and want to share their lives but also are like I'm having fun with it yeah yeah and I think I struggle with the just you know what if I had fun with it then that's all that matters like no no if I don't hit these achievements and these benchmarks and these like I mean the whole joke is that I'm competitive about everything yeah like and I was looking up so many memes about audiograms during prep for this podcast I found a bunch about type twos which is Schuyler and type 3s which is me and all of the type three ones we're like I hate brushing my teeth next to someone because it's like who's gonna brush for longer who cares more about dental hygiene who's gonna give up first like everything in life as a competition and like that's so me me well it's such an interesting duality show yeah of like wanting to because it's not you're not a perfectionist no like you are I feel like very like understanding with yourself about certain things like I feel you're not super self-critical like I think you're self-critical just as much as like a lot of people the thing is I'm only self-critical when I don't hit the achievements I'm supposed to get exact and that's the difference between me and a perfectionist is I don't look at a video and see everything wrong with it and then people like no no I can't post it it has to be perfect I post the video and if it does well I'll be like great everything's perfect and if it doesn't that I'm like what's wrong with me I think the difference is that you're able to revel in your accomplishments yeah take the little landmarks like you just hit 900k you're so excited about and we were able to like you and I sat down or not sat down we were texting about it being like this is so amazing yeah like this is so exciting this is more than like either of us could have ever thought and like you're able to take those moments and not be like I hit it but I didn't hit it then or I hit it this way and because of this yeah like I think no I'm Jessie like which i think is so awesome but it is also interesting because like I have I'm very driven and like literally the day I started my youtube channel I started like mapping out where I want my achievements to be in her like literally the day I started in terms of like uploads and like if I wanted to make it my career and make money off of it and like subscriber benchmarks I never thought I would get to this level yeah so like now at this point any achievement I make I'm happy with because I was like so happy my number one goal was to hit a hundred thousand subscribers and so everything after that has been like cool yeah but then now that I'm at this point I'm like well now we have to get to a million and then will I be happy when I get to a million like I thought I would be when I got to 100k or when I hit a million will I'd be like I don't have ten million like will it ever be enough alright do you want to read yours sure so I am a type 2 and which is the helper in the caretaker which I feel like makes so much done absolutely so the type 2 in brief twos are empathetic sincere and warm-hearted they are friendly generous and self-sacrificing but can also be sentimental flattering and people pleasing they are well-meaning and driven to be close to others but can slip into doing things for others in order to be needed there they typically have problems with possessiveness and with acknowledging their own needs at their best unselfish and altruistic they have unconditional love for others basic fears of being unwanted unworthy of being loved basic desire to feel loved Enneagram type to the one wing is a servant which is what I would be yeah which i think is so interesting that's so cuz that's so you and like just like mine for the positive and the negative yeah like you're so caring you're so helpful you always go out of your way to like make other people's day and make other people feel needed but then you also in turn need to you'll need it yeah and like I think sometimes you feel like you you need that person to need you as much as you need them like even like this weekend we were at my sister's birthday party and my mom was saying something about like some of my grandparents and was like I just I've always heard that like you should get into a marriage where like the guy loves or like the man loves the woman a little more cuz like women go crazy with age and the set in the other and I was like that's so silly and we were talking about it and I was like it's so funny because I obviously love Kyle way more than he loves me really literally everyone around this was like what are you talking about like not to be like not to drag Kyle but it's very apparent that he loves you like a the same if not more than really love him and it's so interesting well first of all we show love in like such different ways like Kyle's such like an action person like literally that morning he I said I wanted to cinnamon rolls and he was like well I can bake them but like it'll take an hour and a half to like bake them from scratch and I was like that's too long I'm pregnant and hungry so he like went to the store and like bought me cinnamon rolls and oranges like make fresh made orange juice and then like all day like took care of the cat's clean the house did laundry everything but I think for me I'm such like they're like touchy feely like I love you I love you like do you love me kind of person and so to me I was like oh well that doesn't apply to us at all cuz like I love Kyle way more and so it's interesting of and I feel like that with friendships too all the time of me being like Sierra you're my best friend do you do you like am I your best rider best part like I don't know it's always feel like I like need to be needed and even with work stuff of like like even when we were like deciding what responsibilities I would hand over like after the baby what I'm going to do I feel like I'm so apt to be like I can't still do all of it like I you need me right like no one else can do that right it's like no other people can do it and you can still be needed just like in a different capacity I didn't even notice that but now that I think about it cuz when we were first hiring on Carly yeah we like write everything down and like one of the things was like doing Poshmark which is so time-consuming and you're like I can do Poshmark and then like we hired Carly on here like actually maybe I don't need to do Poshmark like that maybe I can be useful and needed in other ways totally and I think but I I think you've gotten so much like you are I think honestly like level so there's like levels of like functioning like level one is like the best and then level nine is like the worst in your Enneagram you're like a level one like no you really are though like you I I think like obviously we've been friends since we were like 16 and you know it probably definitely not one was like sevens well but I think like with both of us I think one of our next podcast will be about mental health and so I think we can talk about it then too but I think both of us like work and work and work and then get like we're not even working like it can be traveling it can be like and you know with friends there's mental exhaustion it's like you get to a point and then I think that's when you fall into your worst types of Enneagram like even the other day you texted me and we're like hey I can tell you're getting a little overwhelmed like maybe you could like take this day off and we could figure out like the work to shift over to this day and this day and I was literally typing out a reply of like oh no like why would I need that day off I'm totally good I'm fine and I was like mmm I just cried in the car for 20 minutes and like I really need to eat and shower and like I should just say yes like if someone's offering you a break or offering you like some sort of like we don't need you for this like it would be great to have you there but it's not necessary sometimes it's just important to be like thank you for offering that is so kind I will take you up on that offer well and I think what I've really learned with you too is I used to be like I used to say like we don't need you there you're fine but that's not what you need to hear yeah as a type to like you don't want to hear we don't need you because then you're like I have to be there so I make sure I'm needed yeah what you need to hear is we need you but we'll manage yeah and like we care more about you and you being taken care of than like the work and but I think in for me I need to be told I'm not need exactly and and so my first instinct is to be like you're not needed and yeah wait no what am I not needy and I feel like even when it comes to like plans and things with you I feel like I'm so apt if you're like hey like I'm really stressed I'm gonna be like thirty minutes late I'm so sorry me being like hey let's do it another night yeah it doesn't have to be tonight you're good you don't need to be here where and I I appreciate and it's funny that like that's so our types but it's also just like the way that we are in life so we've like naturally learned to navigate that with each other yeah but it's so funny how like Enneagram types are just like so accurate because if you had said to me I would love to have you here but it's okay if you can't make it I'd be like now she's guilt-tripping me yeah but as Hodel or as if I said that to you you're like how sweet that they want me there yes and exactly I think that's why I'm learning like not even just any grams cuz we learn that about each other naturally but just like learning how other people like need to be communicated to like learning but Steven how I can communicate properly with him and like with my mom and with you those things are so so important Oh 100% I feel like for maybe like your closest like three people in your life I just feel like it's such a game changer to be like such a millennial to be like take the love language test or take the Enneagram test but it genuinely has helped my relationship with you and Kyle so much which one was my love language I don't remember we took it in the car one time on the way back from Disneyland I think it was words of affirmation and quality - quality time in words I do Stephens was physical touch which is another thing that like when Stephen Ansari don't like totally sidetrack now but when Stephen and I get in fights he's like or not even just in fights like if I'm stressed yeah if I'm like upstairs working he'll come home and be like hey give me a hug yeah and I'm like I can't like I don't want to be touched right now like I need to do this and then let's hug yeah like you know what would be really great if you told me like hey you got this I appreciate you you're strong like I need those words of affirmation yeah and then later we can spend time together but like don't touch me I'm stressed I was just so funny because you and Kyle are so similar like I'm also physical touch and then I'm like gifts yeah we're like I forget what the thing is I don't think it's just gifts I think it's something to make it sound better like thoughtful gifts so like give me money and that's my love like send me a check and I'll love you forever it's like exactly when like how since I've been pregnant like Kyle makes me breakfast impediment morning and like that means so much more to me than like if you were to come like he tries to come to every OBGYN appointment but I would much rather him make me like a bagel in bed every morning then like actively be there for everything if that make sense yeah but I feel like it's helpful to know cuz Kyle's is like acts of service like that's a hundred percent his yeah and so for him if he spends a whole day like doing laundry cleaning house cleaning puppies cage and then I come home and I'm like give me a hug like I love you so much he's like but I just showed you how I love you have this love like I just like changed your oil in your car and and for me I'm like that's great but also like let's hug you know Steven are so simile like if you guys have had it your way it's just you guys would just hug me all the time and I'm like I just yeah I would just be like holding your hands it's all vodka so it's one they would we took the love language test and you got this physical touch for one of them you're like yeah like if it was up to me like we'd be holding hands right now like to me I was like that would make me so uncomfortable we've talked before about like what age were most excited about for like having kids yeah and like I'm just so excited for infants because they feel like like they're like cats that can't run away from them because I'm most excited for like the age to like 3 to 5 yeah we're like they're not in school yet so they're hanging out with me all the time but like they get like run or do things like I'm excited to like go to the park and like yeah like play tag and like do things together that's and I'm not that excited for the newborn phase yeah I mean I'm not pregnant just putting that out there but now the cuz I edited it out of last podcast actually I noticed that in the last podcast I mentioned that I was going on prenatals like Stephen and I were kind of starting the process of like figuring out our timeline for trying to conceive and then I like got nervous and I added about but like I noticed that but I didn't want to talk to you about it I never want to be Yoshi about no you're not pushing but now we'll talk about it a little bit I know you've talked about it on your vlog Channel yeah um well okay so first of all I'm not pregnant and Stephen and I are not currently trying to get pregnant one of the things that I said in the podcast is like oh I'm off birth control but we're not trying and like all of the comments were like if you're not not trying you're trying I'm like no we're using condoms so we're not we're actually not trying right now but we are doing the things that we need to do to work towards that point where we are trying like you went to the dentist today I did and I have to get a filling in October but like and we're not booking any other travel that would go to a place like Mexico that has Zika so that we couldn't try to conceive after that like we're we're doing all the things so that when we are ready we can just go for it and then after that we're taking it day by day and so like I'm starting to take off ulation test because like I don't know when I really I don't know what that feels like I want to like learn my body and so that when we do try I'm not like oh I wonder if I'm ovulating today I'm like no no I know like at this point of my cycle I usually ovulate and like it usually makes me feel like this and that kind of thing which is also one of the biggest tips I can give to anyone out there that's like trying to conceive or TTC as they call it in the Bob community I just like this oh oh pique yeah or uh BFP I haven't learned that one yet what's that big fat positive oh I like your like positive pregnancy test I also learned that BD means sex because it means baby dance yeah that's what they call it to like not get flagged okay I'll continue oh asking sakes I know a lot of you out there like our same age or in our seem like stage of life I would say start tracking your ovulation like as soon as you think that you might even have that conversation yeah because like TMI but like the week I got pregnant I thought I was going to obviate a week later like I had been tracking for months what the app says but everyone's body is different an app isn't gonna tell you exactly one but since I had been taking my ovulation test every day and since I had been like so diligent about it I obviated a week later and then like was able to get pregnant because I knew that but like if I hadn't been taking the test and I hadn't been like knowing my cycle I just been like guessing off of like when I should be ovulating I wouldn't be pregnant right now right which is crazy well and I now that I'm actually like doing research and like Stephen and I scheduled a preconception visit and I like might visit my doctor I'm realizing I wish I would have gotten her off birth control way earlier and I wish I would have started tracking my ovulation way earlier yeah because it I got off birth control in May which I thought was early I was thinking if we're trying at the end of 2019 or early 2020 getting off in May is so early it took my body for months to adjust and my doctor said that's pretty soon like some women can take six months to a year yeah I had no idea and then now I'm like cool I have like a few months to track my ovulation before we even think about starting chart to try yeah but it's like how great would it have been if I had six months I just I had no idea yeah and I wish I would have done the honestly start doing the research on it before you even get to the point where you're trying yeah like if you're listening to this right now and you're thinking about it like start taking ovulation tests start taking prenatals and like it off birth control I'm not advice I thought it was gonna be too soon I thought I'm like oh I'm jumping the gun here now I and I def I waited too long yeah also Kyle will you please link our ovulation test description thank you because they're the best I feel like I've gotten like 50 teams of people being like hey that's my use two we're like that's what Aspen over news that's what whoever use but they're great yeah but anyway sorry we got sidetracked anyway but I feel like that's like important information and also stuff that like I love to hear on podcast oh you're like genuinely sharing helpful advice cuz it's so hard to get on the Internet yeah guys even talking to my grandma this weekend and she was like what's the hardest thing with pregnancy it was like honestly like not the nahji not the anything it's that like information it's so hard to track down yeah in 2019 because like there's so many sources like even I talked about essential oils on the pot and then I got like so many dm's being like oh it's totally fine which if you make that choice for yourself yeah that's awesome that's great and like I will occasionally diffuse some things in my home that like are have been tested but like I'm not gonna use anything topically or like ingest anything for myself because my doctor can't say it's okay right but it's hard because like their entire books out there on like how to use essential oils in pregnancy like entire books yeah and so it seems like that's just totally okay yeah but since pregnant women don't like to be tested on it's really hard to like nail down what isn't isn't okay yeah and so I feel like that's like one of the hardest things like trying to conceive in pregnancy is like there's just so much information like there's so many ovulation tests and so many I don't know it is so crazy like there's just there's a wealth of information but there's not a consensus and I think that but then that gives you an opportunity to make your own decisions like even with prenatals I was texting you cuz I spent so much time researching prenatals of like I watched so many YouTube videos and looked at so many like listicles of like the best prenatals and before I got pregnant a concise pills yes I was like these are the best they're this or that and I went into my first appointment when I was 8 weeks pregnant and I had been so nauseous and I was like okay so I'm taking these prenatals she was like as long as Sams DHA in folic acid they're literally all the same yeah like you should switch over to gummies because you're nauseous and you can't keep them down you know like it's better to be getting the good stuff in like a gelatin form yeah then like taking this gigantic like organic pill yeah that like you aren't getting any of because you're sick all the time right you know but it's things like that of like my doctor literally not carrying what prenatal I take as long as it has like two key ingredients but if you went on the internet people would be passionate about if you don't take this prenatal you're missing out and you're doing this wrong which I'm sure there are pros and cons different prenatals but it's one of those things where I wish someone had just told me like just take gummy preen like you know when I had asked my doctor when I went in and got all my blood testing done I was like so now that I'm gonna start prenatal is like which ones should I take and they were like as long as I has DHA and folic acid you're good so I just went with the one at a women's which yeah my friend Kenzie takes and she goes make sure you take too because even though they're called one a day you have to take two and on the back it says you have to take two but I want to have Kenzie on the podcast sometimes because I think it's interesting to have like her who now has a five week old you who's pregnant and then me who wants to be pregnant in the future it's like three different perspectives they might even be interesting if we could time it out till it's like when you're like openly trying to conceive yeah cuz that could be a really interesting thing of like the three sides of it yeah that'd be really interesting let us know if you want us to talk about more like pregnancy trying yeah things because I feel like even on our pregnancy podcast we talked about my story but I feel like it's interesting just like everything around it I'm not just my story but like your story and Kenzie story yeah I don't know um I would love to talk more about that so guys let us know if you want to hear that but let's get back into the Enneagram types yeah so do you want to read your key motivations yes yes so my key motivations are want to be loved to express their feelings for others to be needed and appreciated to get others to respond to them to vindicate their claims about themselves which i think is so interesting because I do think that like I've gone through a lot of different phases in my life yeah and in each phase I like wanted to become the person that I had convinced myself I was like that's so deep and so real because like good but it's so true for you cuz like there was a phase where I was like wow I'm like Sheldon from Big Bang Theory left I like skip grades I like I'm an achiever I'm like an adult and I'm all these things and I'm self-sufficient and so I like made myself out to be that person and so I felt like I reveled in the things that made me that person or like like right now like I love to think of myself as like maternal and caring and like I care taker so I feel like I like love my Enneagram type cuz I'm like great yeah the care taker like that's so validating and so and I think like that is always the person I've been like I think if I'd taken the Enneagram type test at any point in my life I still would have gotten the two cuz it's still that's always been applicable to me but but like you went through yours like Zooey Deschanel phase where you like cut bangs and like yeah we're like chunky sweaters and like you have so identified but with each kind of thing and maybe this is like too deep and too real and don't make me cry but I feel like the person that you are trying to be now is like actually who you are I like I think you've spent a long time like trying to fit yourself into specific molds and like really identifying with only certain parts of your identity and I feel like who you are now which even in like in like shallow ways like your hair or like the way you dress we're like just like how how you do your makeup like even things like that that are more just like aesthetically like you are now every part of you which i think is like a big part of you like coming into yourself and like becoming who you're meant to be and like becoming an amazing mom till your son it's like you are now not just identifying with like one part of your personality you are like embracing all parts of them and like you're not trying to be one thing you're just being Skyler so sweet Bella just started furiously looking mushy I agree I think that's so true and I think that's like so so deep because I think that it really is true if you like take a step back and think about like not to be like I'm enlightened everywhere I meant to because I still have a lot of work to do I - but you I think you are I think they're at that point but I think that like even little things like I wore hair extensions for so many years yeah and that was like like honestly I feel like I was maybe even more confident when I was wearing them because like that was like a mask for me you know and it was like but now I've gotten to the point where I'm like no this is my hair and like it is what it is and I'm going to like work on like doing hair treatments like make it healthier and I only dye it like once a year and like it's like my natural color like at least on my roots and like that is what it is when I have a baby I'm not gonna have time to clip in like 20 freakin extensions in my head ever day or like go and get like whatever the lace ones like that's not who I am or like even I like don't really like I wear makeup but it's another way you use your makeup yeah or I don't know well and I think not for everyone it's not like doing makeup and dyeing their hair and that kind of thing is it like for that reason yeah but I think for you that was such a big part of you changing who you were identifying is like you had your short like you cut off all your hair you had your short brown hair with your bangs and then like it was the long blonde hair and it was like two or three or four different like transformations and then now you're just like I'm stripping all that down and just like I'm Skylar well and also like even my hobbies that I've had now I've had for a really long time and they're also very true to who I am like I love plants like I love taking care of things like I I just find such joy and like making like new plants grow and having them all over my house and like I love baking because I love like getting to spend that time with myself and then also like giving people baked goods and I don't know I feel like for so long I was like I love farmers markets I love like going to the beach I love this out in the other and like all that stuff is fun in moderation like I still do all of those things but also like I get pretty overwhelmed in big crowds so like farmers markets where you can't find parking and then you get there and it's cash only and you're having to haggle and like that's fun if I have like Kyle with me and he can do all that stuff but like the actuality of it is like that's not going to be my every weekend right that's just not the best thing for you yeah and I think you're so right and that all the things that you are doing now as like hobbies and who you are are like actually things that you genuinely love and there are bits of pieces you've taken from each like Skylar identity yeah and so it's been cool to watch you like transform into the person that I think you're meant to be that's so crazy because I literally never even thought about that until that last line of to vindicate their claims about themselves like for some reason that just struck a chord with me but I think that's why I say that as Bella looking yourself now that's why I think now I say that you are like a a one like the highest functioning to you because you've gotten to that point where you are authentically you and you don't need to you know vindicate yourself and you don't need to like fit yourself into this mold like you're just Skyler and that's that's like the best shade I also think they've become a lot more self aware of things that like totally uh like even like we joke all the time about like how I like everything to be white in my life like that's just how it is like I feel like I like my environment to be kind of like a spa like I get stressed out when things are like messy or colorful or cluttered and so I've realized like like when the first thing we did when we moved into our apartment was we painted it all white yeah it was like you know what it's gonna make me happy or you like I like changed everything in my pantry and that's all I can make some jars or like if it's like ugly and crazy colored and I can't put it in a mason jar it's like in a bread bin or like in a Tupperware and I think I've realized that about myself and like made those adjustments so that my everyday life is easier yeah versus being like it's fine I'm bohemian and like quirky and yeah it doesn't bother me when in reality like it does it does I'm like and I find to joke about it and I'm fine to like change things to make life easier for it but no what are your key motivation okay so I've already read my key motivations um they were to be affirmed to distinguish themselves from others to have attention to be admired and to impress others and I think those are also ones that kind of like cut me deep because I'm like my first inclination is feel like oh like I don't need to impress others like I don't well I joke around all the time about what I like love attention yeah but that's another thing about my Enneagram type is literally one of the things is that they love self-deprecating humor which is like a huge defense mechanism for me that I'm like if I make fun of myself first then like no one can like cut me down from my place and no one can take my achievements away because if I like which sorry no go I just stepped on you guys I just had it like a brain click if we talk all the time about I think part of the reason why your content has transitioned into like experimental fashion is because like a it's more personality based so it's like more fun it's like more wide appealing it whatever but also I wonder if it's like cuz you can joke about it more it's not like here's a fall lookbook and here's like what I think are the best things and if people disagree they're disagreeing with like your personal taste like I hate that outfit that you picked out whereas this you're like ha ha I'm a Cheetah Girl and I also think it's really funny you can't make fun of me because like like even in the video that we did were you like saying everything really badly like all the intros which was really funny in my blouse a million percent made the video but I also wonder if a little bit of that it's like I'm going to sing really badly on purpose so that no one can call me out ya know it's so true and with like the experimental fashion stuff like I love making fun of what I'm wearing yeah because like my biggest fear is that like if Pete I don't want anyone to ever think I take myself seriously yeah because if they do then they can like actually like criticize me and they can like actually cut me down but if like I'm making a dumb face while I'm posing in like a pair of jeans then people are gonna like laugh with me instead of like if I'm like smiling and trying to pose cute then people will be like oh like she thinks she's so cute or she thinks she's this and I'm like if I laugh at myself first then no one can laugh at me that's so crazy oh my gosh that makes so much sense she also I thought the what was it distinguishing yourself from others yeah that's really interesting that's interesting cuz at first I don't think about that about me I've never seen these like that tried to be different but I think I try to distinguish myself from others and my accomplishments like that like I I don't think I ever would have ended up in a normal career yeah like I think even if I wanted if I said oh I'm gonna be an English major I would have ended up like teaching English and being like a Travel Guide or something like that like I just don't think I think I want I like it's not that I need to be like different in quirky like that's really not me I think it's that like I want to be on top well I think distinguishing yourself from others can even lead back to the self-deprecating humor yeah I've liked all the time we'll like joke about how you have like a pokeymon phone case they're like you're nerdy or you're this that in the other and I think part of that is like it's not the like I'm quirky I'm not like other girls but I think what I it is if I purposely don't fit in then no one can put me on the outs Wow if I go to beauty con and I am purposely dressed different and people don't accept me and make fun of me then that's fine because I want to be on the outs and I want to be different but if I go and I do the hair and the makeup and the dress and people still don't accept me then I have to accept that it's me that's the issue and not like me distinguishing myself I think that's a big part of it is like I'll have my Pokemon phone case a because I learnt Pokemon but also because like then maybe people won't try to like versus like your Kate Spade phone case which is like super cute and like you love but if someone's like looks at your phone case and doesn't love it that's them saying they don't love you yeah whereas this is like haha it's funny we can all laugh at it like I'm a fashion guru yeah they have with a pokemons pump it's like laugh at me laugh with me oh my gosh so crazy that it goes down to like every little I think it does okay do we want to read some of the examples of people with our type sure some of mine are like really bad and some one are really good so when I first saw I was like wow I hate my type because it was like Augustus Caesar OJ Simpson I'm like great but then it's also like you know Oprah Winfrey Andy Warhol um let me see some of the other ones Whitney Houston Elvis Presley so interesting they're all performers yeah no they really are there's some politicians in here - there's like Mitt Romney Bill Clinton Prince William miner interesting I feel like a lot of them I don't know that might be the same on your list one of mine is Ryan Seacrest I'm sorry I just saw that you are such a riot I can see him being a workaholic cuz he's like New Year's Eve I got to work I'm sorry I have to take this gig like I can't be with my family like I just this is Ryan Seacrest I'm Ryan Seacrest I gotta do this so some of mine are Eleanor Roosevelt mm-hmm Dolly Parton uh Paula Abdul look at us we could be on American Idol together you so would be Paula Abdul like yeah I love everyone yay who would you actually give me Randy Jackson because you're not Simon Cowell like you're not like critical like you don't tear people down I feel like you're kind of in the middle of you people like constructive criticism it's gonna be a no for me dog like Yas Queen and then it's gonna be a no from me dog and like someone can ask me a question I'll be like see her I feel like that could be your next phrase like your next like ha that's gonna be a no for me dog honestly it might be okay keep reading your people I'm sorry I interrupted you to tell you I'm writers anymore that are like super interesting like Stevie Wonder Lionel Richie the person who found it Mary Kay Cosmetics Mary Kay but yeah I love Taylor Swift again all performers Tom Cruise Wow yeah that's okay um do we want to read our overview or is that do we want to just kind of skim our overview yeah or do we want to hop over to like the pose the other test the color code test let's do one more thing on this I want to read the healthy levels and the unhealthy levels ooh let's read the healthy levels the unhealthy levels and then let's read some of our favorite song lyrics from the song yes about us and then can i well I want to explain some of my favorite memes about our types so Type three I'm gonna read the top two healthy levels in the bottom two okay so the top two healthy low levels level one at their best self accepting inner-directed authentic everything they seem to be charitable modest self-deprecating humor a fullness of heart gentle and benevolent level two is self-assured energetic competent with high self esteem they believe in themselves and their own value adaptable desirable charming and gracious now you want to read your top two sure my level one is become deeply unselfish humble and altruistic giving unconditional love to self and others Fila is a privilege to be in the lives of others and then the I think that sounds like you like I really do I think like the one thing I have to work on is the selfs love aspect of it what's like in the song is also where like custom deep of like taking care of myself so I think like I give unconditional love to others and I think I give I think I give myself conditional love which is like what I need to work on I think I give myself love like 80% of the time but it's not unconditional it's not unconnected be so much quicker to forgive me for something than to forgive yourself oh man I think that's if I mess up you would so quickly be like serie it's fine like I love you still and if you mess up you would be like yeah I'll never get past this totally like even when we have like mishaps with work like like messing up footage or losing memory cards or whatever I feel like if you do it I'm like oh it's okay we'll get through this let's like come up with a plan here's like step a B and C but for me I'm like oh my god I'm so sorry you know that I like freaked out about it for like two weeks yeah so maybe I'm like level two level two is empathetic compassionate feeling for others caring and concerned about their needs thoughtful warm hearted forgiving and sincere I think I'm for sure level two I think I'm like between a two and a three my to really is ambitious to prove themselves to be the best they can be I think that's definitely me um often becoming outstanding and a human ideal I don't think that's me embodying widely admired cultural qualities highly-effective I would say I'm highly effective like when I get to work at something I really do and then others are motivated to be like them in some positive way I don't know about that that's literally your channel that's literally like the body positivity movement and like how many messages I know you would never admit it though like how many messages a day do you get of people being like like you inspired me like I look up to you but then I think that gets to part of like the song lyrics and part of the negative one is like me thinking like is that just a facade of me or is that actually me like did people actually look up to me or do people look up at like what they think I am and what I'm actually not they look up to you I look up to you chabela licking me okay so then my worst ones at a level seven or should i do level eight in level nine let's do seven and eight because I feel like nine is like like not even early applicable because that would be like not functioning yeah so unhealthy levels for a three fearing failure in humiliation that can be exploitive and opportunistic covetous of the success of others and willing to do whatever it takes to preserve the illusion of their superiority that's crazy I think I have a few times like not now but like especially earlier in my life said like I will do whatever it takes yeah and like that's not healthy like I should never do whatever it takes which I I don't think I'm at a point in my life now where I would say that about anything no but I think there have been points in my life where I've been like oh I'll do whatever it takes like when I played soccer I'd be like oh I'll do whatever it takes to win trip that girl yeah I'll do it I feel like the only time I ever see any of that now is like when it's like practical work things of like we have to get this podcast next so like that's true I'm gonna do whatever it takes to fix it so that we can get it up tomorrow or whatever you know you're right I only say that about work now and in my brain that's healthy when it's not like Tostevin sometimes like he'll be like oh well we have this vacation this week like what are you gonna do if you don't finish your video whatever it takes almost the vacation yeah I'll do whatever it takes I have to get it up and it's like maybe don't do whatever it takes maybe go on your vacation but so crazy okay and then my level eight devious and deceptive so that their mistakes and wrong wrongdoings will not be exposed untrustworthy maliciously betraying or sabotaging people to triumph over them delusionally jealous of others see I don't think that I see that as much i I see more than level seven me where the whatever it takes attitude cuz I don't know if either of us have ever gotten down to like an eight or nine no I mean I don't know I haven't read my eight yeah but I think that I don't I'm not a jealous person by Nature like at all yeah the only thing I could think about being jealous is like jealous of someone else's success but not wishing that they didn't have that and I did wish and I was also at that success level yeah so maybe seven is like the lowest you've ever gone yeah I meant let's read yours okay my level seven is can be manipulative and self-serving insisting guilt by telling others how much they owe them and making them suffer abuse food and medication to stuff feelings and get sympathy undetermined or undermine people make belittling disparaging remarks extremely self deceptive about their motives and how aggressive and or selfish their behavior is so I think the only thing in there that I can relate to is the like abusive food and medication to stuff feelings and get sympathy I think like because I did have an eating disorder like I do like emotionally eat sometimes yeah but I don't view myself as like a manipulative person at all no and I definitely not and I definitely don't make belittling remarks to people or like get aggressive what was can you break sorry can you read like the bullet points cuz there was one that I was like oh I could see maybe that at one point your life the bullet just like the whole thing yeah sure can be manipulative and self-serving no insisting guilt by telling others how much they owe them and making them suffer no abuse food and medication to stuff feelings and get sympathy you said you can yeah undermine people make belittling disparaging remarks no extremely self deceptive about their motives and how aggressive and or selfish their behavior is the only thing I could see is the self deceptive yeah but only in the way that we were talking about where you're like no I'm not pretending to be this like this is actually the way I am but that's not you're not doing that to be like manipulative cuz I don't like I guess maybe selfish behavior maybe but I like I don't think I think aggressive you know definitely I feel like that's the same thing with you and jealousy like that doesn't I wouldn't associate jealousy to you at all and I wouldn't associate aggressiveness to me I don't think I've ever heard you'd be aggressive there one time we were joking around at a shoot cuz Skylar said something that was like totally normal and then she's like I'm sorry I was just so mean and I was like what I just feel like I say that like every shoe I'm like like if I'm like if sometimes if it's like right before lunch and I'm like hungry I'll be like I will just say like okay thank you or something instead being like oh my gosh thank you so much like you're such a delight and something like after you'll be like I'm so sorry I was like so brash imitating each other on a shoot and I was like hi I'm Skylar you can punch me in the face if you want I don't think I'm definitely not it is only thing I ever get aggressive about is like I should see a lot of comments on like the beautycon vlog of I especially since I've been pregnant I think actually just since I've been pregnant I'm so protective over people I think like if anyone says anything negative about you or Kyle or anyone in my life I'm so quick to be like how dare they trying to fight yeah look why but I think that Mama Bear instinct and it's a Hufflepuff in you actually you're like a loyal true okay so my level 8 okay domineering and coercive I don't think I've ever been domineering in my life no I can see coercive a little bit yeah but only with Kyle yeah I could see you like no Kyle like let's do it this way or less yeah but you're not you're literally not like that with anyone else domineering like imagine me like standing over you oh my god no you're definitely not domineering I feel entitled to get anything they want from others definitely not I feel like I literally the repayment of old debts money sexual favors do you ever talk I'll he owes you said pay me now definitely not the repayment I like I literally I feel like I owe my that's okay not really we're just so funny cuz I feel like I relate so much to everything is there any other is that bit free yeah that's great but yeah do we want to read some and your grandma means yes okay you wanna go back and forth yeah so let's do like you do what about me then like I'll do one about you and then you do want to Oh mine are like tied to each other okay perfect yeah you do like one about you what about me then okay so this one about you this is just a picture of is what was the mom's though mom gorillas and Tarzan oh my gosh she's love for some Maya yeah okay the mom gorilla and Tarzan and it's just a quote and it says well I'm going to be his mother now - Skylar - anything she meets yep seems like a snail on the patio well I'm going to be its mother now literally like all the time the other day I did let you kill a spider but you kept being like oh ho like guess you're just a fake collection so you don't really care about the spiders cuz like probably like a month ago Carly hey we're in here and I saw a spider or we saw a spider and I was like oh my god I didn't get a cup and so I like really quickly like saved it and like carried it downstairs and like put it in your garden and then we came back up and we saw a small spider there was like the baby like grabbed it in the cup and then I like waited outside near the garden until I saw the mom and then like dropped it in the same spot because I didn't want them to be like a partner each other but I'm like I guess I'm your mother like if we can't find your big mama spider it's me I'm I'm the mom I'm gonna grow six more let four more legs okay so then what's yours about yours okay and there's mine about myself so I had already read the toothbrushing one which was gonna be one so this is a different one me I haven't gotten attention in five minutes 9-1-1 operator what I feel like that's very applicable to you sometimes Steven and I will be laying in bed and like I'm awake and he's already been asleep and I'll just like poke him until he wakes up and he'll be like what and okay hey see I feel like I do that but I'm like I love you she knows I love you I love you so I'm like hey you're like hang out with me hey yeah I'm here what's up see okay so mine is I said amusement park so this is near you so that I'll read both okay so add amusement parks to is the one with the snacks which is so true always I always bring like Uncrustables for everyone granola bars all the things and you are the one with the fast path which is also so good literally I have never been to Disneyland not been the one who does fast passage yeah like with stevensfamily i'm the Fastpass person yeah with steve we went with Stephens co-worker who I had never met and his girlfriend who I had never met you know who did the fast passes me wait okay so we're going to Disneyland tomorrow Carly you said you just found out you're Enneagram type what type are you you're type 7 so you're the one who writes the same rollercoaster 10 times in a row can't wait to write it's a small run times in a row right pregnant okay okay and then okay this is another one of me when people say I love you I always say I love you more because life is a competition and I must win so this is like a tumblr like thread so like the tumblr thing the first one is skyler a mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it and I just started thinking like it was just trying to get booed what if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the fridge door and snapped my neck like how would I feel and then the reply says are you okay I really I really are you okay so this next one's like the same thing as last one but for celebrations so type two don't make a fuss over me true Type three when I hit blank gold that I'm going to really celebrate hits goal when I hit Blake goal then I'll really celebrate it's so true that's so us I just love it there's so many good ones also Enneagram and coffee is like the best Instagram for like Enneagram memes oh I was gonna say any agreement memes is my favorite see okay now before I know we've already been podcasting for over an hour okay this the whole thing could have been any agreement let's just read a few of the song lyrics so I won't link but Kyle will so go ahead Kyle um link the songs for each any for our Enneagram types and then you can find them I think the album is sleeping at last and so this guy made a song or the artist is sleeping at lettuce is sleeping at last yeah a song for each anagram type and so we'll read not all of the lyrics but some of them from r-type songs yeah and also did like a whole podcast about the making of each song and it's really cool kissed like he made the songs with people of that type so like they send in sounds that were meaningful to them and then like incorporated them which I think it's like so cool and awesome okay so what are some of your favorite lyrics maybe this trophy isn't real love and with or without it I'm good enough Wow like that's you that like I literally as a kid had trophies like I had my trophy shelf and all of my trophies and like if I cuz like some sports would give you trophies and some wouldn't and I literally would like if I didn't get a trophy I would be like well it like I have 17 trophies on the shelf but I actually would have 19 cuz like I got first in this sport and like they didn't give us a trophy but like I would have gotten first and then like if they gave us a participation trophy I wouldn't put it on the shelf because I didn't earn it that is crazy Wow like that is okay now read me one of yours okay so the first sign of the song is sweetheart you look a little tired when did you last eat come in and make yourself right at home stay as long as you need which I feel like is just it's really cool because the two one cuz to use like one of their biggest downfalls so that like they don't take care of themselves they only take care of others and so I really like that lyric cuz like I kept singing it over and over and like like thinking of Kyle or thinking of my friends or thinking of my family and then I like was listening to the podcast and he turned it and was like well maybe you should listen to the song and like think of yourself I was like oh what I must do this like I haven't eaten today I'm like I do need to just like go lay down and like take care of my G spent too much time making sure everyone else is taken care of yeah which I just feel like it's like so so wonderful okay sorry it just zoomed in on mine okay and I finally see myself through the eyes of no one else it's so exhausting on the silver screen where I play a role of anyone but me that's so crazy like to me that's like a big part is like I don't know like I I never look at myself like as I am like I look at myself as like the way other people value me so I'm never like I'm Ciara because I'm this I'm like I'm Ciara because like other people think I'm this and like other people think I'm this and other people gave me this achievement that's crazy that's okay bring me another one of yours it's okay if you can't catch your breath you can take the oxygen straight out of my chest I know exactly how the rule goes put my mask on first and then it goes on but I think that's so interesting so I always tell the quote of like like you got to put your mask on before you can put someone else's on I'm going to talking about oxygen masks and like I like you have to love yourself before you love other people but I don't necessarily practice what I preach like I think I definitely always put other people's oxygen masks on like before I put mine on and so it's like I don't know it's just very interesting so good okay I'll do one more mine Oh actually I'll do two more of mine but I'll read them at once I only want what's real I set aside the highlight reel and leave my greatest failures on display with an asterisk worthy of love anyway and then the other one is just the chorus that I wanted to read maybe I've done enough finally catching up for the first time I see an image of my brokenness utterly worthy of love okay Ramin one more one or two more of yours um I'll just read the chorus okay like a force to be reckoned with a mighty ocean or a gentle kiss I will love you with every single thing I have like a tidal wave I'll make a mess or comb waters if that serves you best I will love you without any strings attached there's also a quote oh and what a privilege it is to love a great honor to hold you up I feel like I say all the time to like Kyle and people of like not it's like it's a privilege to love you but like synonyms for privilege of like I feel so lucky like I just like I don't know how I'm so deserving of like loving you so much really feeling these feelings and so it's like I don't know like to do that for yourself to you like you also are worthy of your own love and you also are worthy of your own affection well and it's interesting I like that it's like like a tidal wave or come Oh whatever serves you best yeah like I feel like with Kyle I have to kind of like tone it down a little bit but with people like like my stepdad or my siblings I can just like overwhelm them with love yeah where is I feel like some people have to like this tone it down yeah which is interesting okay II want to briefly talk about the color test yes like I like the color test just kind of affirms what we know from the Enneagram yeah it's a lot more focused on who you were as a child yes and who that turned you into so the interesting thing about the color test is all the questions you answer from the perspective of you as a child yeah so you answer like when you were a child you were X Y & Z and then I also like that it so it tells you what motivates you and then it also gives you recommendations for how people can have better relationships with you yeah so my color type is yellow and what motivates me is fun so says yellows are motivated by fun they are inviting an embrace life as a party that they're hosting they love playful interaction and can be extremely sociable they are highly persuasive and seek instant gratification yellows need to be adored and praised while yellows are carefree they are sensitive and highly alert to others agendas to control them yell is typically carried within themselves the gift of a good heart is so so easy do you know what I mean with personality test always focus on the positives yeah and so I'm like sure and like that's me but then the underground chest I'm like just cut me to the core yeah but yeah like all those things I mean it's like your motive is fun yeah cuz I feel like that's you like you always like just want to have like the best time and okay you know I'm a blue so my motive is intimacy big shocker blues are motivated by intimacy they seek to genuinely connect with others and need to be understood and appreciated everything they do is quality based they are loyal friends employers and employees whatever or whatever whomever they commit to is their soul and soul sou L so guess they love to serve and give to her and give of themselves freely in order to nurture other's lives that's so true do you wanna read the little like young must and you must not because I feel like that's like the only like yes I'm what okay so I am a yellow for a better relationship with me you must accept and accept playful teasing the truth we were just talking about this how like I have some friends who I like try to be really like delicate with and then other friends who I mean I I do I'm delicate with you but then like my friend Jacob I will like we will literally just sit there and like roast each other yeah like I like we were sitting at lunch and I just like looked him in the eyes and I was like you know you're like not that funny and then he looks at me and he's like you know you're like not a very good Hugh tuber and like we joke like it's we're not serious but like we're teasing each other yeah so like I think for me being able to make fun of people like totally don't like don't take it too personally yeah enjoy my charismatic innocence me buying the luxo ball it does value my social skills mm-hmm and the big one I think both Stephen and I do that I think especially Stephen even I you also are very social I like I think I am good at it if I know it's like my mission yeah you know of like oh we're at a networking event so my job is to be social no I will be social yeah you know what I think that's one of the things that Siemens parents said when we first started dating is like that I brought him out of his shell and then the last one I think it's really important definitely something for a better relationship with me remember like left Pokemon remember I feel deeply I'm very emotional and there's a difference because I'm not sensitive that's true but I'm emotional yeah like like you'll get I think the difference between us is that I'm really sensitive like if you say something to me I'll think about it for like three weeks and I like will be emotional about it internally whereas you're not sensitive like things don't hurt your feelings or you don't like overthink them but you will get like angry about that yes or you'll get like frustrated or you'll get like I cry a lot yeah like I say I feel deeply yeah and that was something that was really hard again was about this in the next episode but that was something that was really hard for me to deal with in the deepest parts of my depression with my bipolar disorder is like and I think part of that part of that is me and part of that is my bipolar disorder which can be hard to separate like what is me and what is a chemical imbalance which is a whole nother conversation yeah but like when I feel highs I'm like up on that high and when I'm low I am so freakin well and I feel all of those emotions really intensely which i think is also what drew me to the arts because like I am blue for a better relationship with me you must take a sincere approach true appreciate me very true be loyal big one and allow time for me to collect my thoughts hmm I think those are I think sure's are all really true for you so what are your you must not you must not push me too intensely like we literally were just talking about how like I was like oh yeah like I used to love my trainer when I went to project athlete in high school because he used to scream at me like I need that like I'm sure I don't know if that's true I kind of need someone to yell at me yeah like I and I think that also comes back to like me being feeling emotions deeply but not being sensitive yeah like once I get upset I'm upset but like yell at me push me tell me I'm terrible give me that motivation you must not ignore me you must not forget my creativity that's true yeah you must not think I'm a lightweight I don't know what that's in regards to but I've always been very defensive about the fact that I'm a lightweight so like short I know I am but like earlier we were talking about how Kucera like used to always peel the labels off of her beer like when she was like drinking but benigni when I got to the point that I was like tipsy like on my third beer I'd start peeling the label and we were talking and she was like oh no now I just do that like every time and I was like become more of a lightweight yes it is she's like no I think it's just fun I was like no it's definitely cuz I don't drink as much yeah so like I have one beer and I start feeling it and you must not criticize me seriously mmm I would agree with that I mean I'm definitely sensitive I mean someone who really needs a compliment sandwich yeah and so like I'm I want criticism and I like with my trainer yell at me like I want I remember what used to frustrate me so much is like when I would like show my work to someone like when I was an English major or even when I was a theater major and I would like show my work to someone and they'd be like it's perfect and I'd be like no it's not like criticize me yeah but when someone criticizes me immediately I get defensive yeah so like when I was in theater I actually left my first voice coach because she would she stopped telling me that I needed to improve she'd be like no that was perfect and then I went to college and got a new voice coach and he was like here's what you need to do wrong and I was like it's like I need something in between those two totally I didn't see that with Stephen and I something that we argue about sometimes is like he immediately goes to criticism and then I feel like he didn't appreciate which is one of the things appreciate my creativity yeah so like if I do something for him like let's say I go get him food from the store and I like forgot to say that he wanted avocado the first thing he'll say is like you forgot the avocado instead of like thanks for the food you forgot the avocado but it's still really good yeah and that's what I need totally I think that's what most people need I think I need just no criticism I think it's always better to give a compliment sandwich I don't know if there are any people out there that just love like this sucks and are like straight to take it from one psyche a little bit that's true like leeway okay okay you must not make me feel guilty true cuz if you're making me feel guilty for something I trust and believe I already feel guilty about it yeah so if people like are intentionally making me feel guilty for things then I just am like crap like I know I really messed yeah be rude or abrupt true very son to flower um except expect spontaneity I think that's so true nothing like even we talk about with travel like you can't just expect me to be like okay we're gonna eat it at Chili's tonight and like that's what we're gonna do in London like you have to understand that like even you and Carly are going out of town this weekend and I wrote down like a to-do list of everything you're doing if like this is a six minute drive from here to here and so when like it's like me involved I feel like I'm even like crazier about it cuz I know you guys can handle some continuity yeah whereas for myself I just understand that and let Kyle understands that I feel like you understand that or and then the last one is you must not expect me to forgive quickly I think that one is like half and half I think you say you forgive quickly yeah and you think I think you it's not just you say and you don't I think you actually do think that you forgive you happily but actually in your heart it takes you longer yeah I think that's sure I think cuz I take things so personally like there are a couple people in my life who I just like I I want to be able to forgive because like I understand that like holding grudges doesn't benefit anyone but like I'm just never gonna be able to forgive them because I feel like the damage is like so deep and so I think even if like little things are said it's like I forgive you cuz like I want to move past it and I don't want to deal with the confrontation but in my brain you're like actually ready yeah I think it takes me a long time to process things too like even I think one of the things was like you must give me time to like think about my emotions because I think I like just think about things so deeply that like even when it's stupid things of like oh do you think you'll make this parenting decision or this one it's like I need to like sit and thinking about how I really feel about that before I can like formulate a conclusion and like Beisel in a five minute even little things like which diapers are you gonna use it's like I probably did like over an hour's worth of research on like diapers yeah which I feel like a lot of people are just like oh like these are the cheapest and best you're like oh this is what my mom used or whatever where's everything I like me time for assuming forgiveness I also need time for but I think some of the things especially in your life like something some people always don't need forgiveness and so I think you need to not be so hard on yourself about like oh well like I'm trying to forgive this person like maybe sometimes people shouldn't be forgiving true that I was literally talking to my friend Jessica about that yesterday I was saying I think the most important thing with like toxic people and balancing that is treating everyone like they're a human like there's a certain person I can think of in my life who I understand that they are a human being and I have empathy for them but I've also given them so many chances that I know how they're going to react because they're a human being who tends to react a certain way so I'm not going to let them in my life because I understand they're human and that's their perspective instead of being like they're a bad person they're always gonna screw me over that's not true but they just their brains wired differently and they think a different way and so I think it's the same thing with like forgiveness and empathy if understanding that the person who did that to you is the person feeling empathy for them but also understanding that they might not have had the best intentions in doing that well and also that you can forgive someone and not still need them in your life yeah like you can forgive people in your life who've wronged you and say look I forgive you but I still don't want you in my life because you are negatively affecting affecting my mental health totally but I think especially for you because you are so empathetic your first instinct is to be like of course I forgive you come back in yeah and then they wronged you again and you're like of course I forgive you come back in but at a point you have to be like I forgive you but don't come back in well and also to understand that because I think with like practicing empathy you're always trying to put yourself in the other person's shoes and I think like both you and I at least try our hardest to always do things with the best intentions like we've talked a lot about how not on the podcast but just in life about how you rarely say sorry for things because you only say sorry for things that you would like truly do differently and I think that like that's an important clarification of like you can feel empathy for people if you think that they truly made that choice with the best intentions but if someone is doing something malicious to you like intentionally to hurt you you don't need to feel empathy for them and you don't need to put yourself in their shoes because they weren't trying their best yeah well I had a whole conversation with my mom about two years ago about can you forgive someone who's not sorry yeah I had someone in my life who said something really really hurtful to me and my mom wanted me to forgive this person and I was like they haven't apologized yeah and she was like well probably because they're not sorry but you should still forgive them and I was like how can I forgive someone who hasn't apologized isn't sorry doesn't think that they should have acted differently yeah I can't and ice I mean I move I will say I moved past it with that person yeah but I can't forgive them until they I'm happy to I'm ready to forgive this person I've moved on I'm around this person all the time we have a relationship but I can't forgive them for that specific and since if they're not sorry yeah cuz you know they wouldn't do it any differently no they would do the same thing all over again yeah and if the opportunity comes up again they probably do it again yeah because they're not sorry and they don't think what they did was wrong so then that because the thing of sometimes you can forgive someone and not move past it or forgive someone as a person but not forgive in instance that happened or thing they did to you and then sometimes you can move past something but not forgive them yeah that's the whole thing let's go into our admires no mires breaks oh oh man advice will do the myers-briggs really briefly so we are actually very similar I am an ENFJ which is the protagonist and I am a man infj which is the advocate well I I think it's very interesting that this is the only one that we're kind of similar on the only thing we're different so the ENFJ stands for like different things so ii and i so i me she's i are extroverted and introverted so skylar is the introverted version of this and I'm the extroverted version yeah and then the other thing our intuitive or observant and we both got intuitive thinking or feeling and we both got feeling make them judging or perspective and we both got judging and then assertive or turbulent that's the ENFJ - either T or a and we both got turbulent interesting so I think that is is interesting that we are literally out of the five letters four of them are the same yeah it's just I'm extroverted or introverted so do you want to just read the people that were similar - oh yes yeah okay so who are here first - let's not go an order of like cuz there I can definitely pull ones that I like more than the others Josh - the first - yeah Barack Obama and Oprah Winfrey oh yeah oh yeah mine are Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela s are also both great uh John Cusack and Ben Affleck I don't know anything about either of those two but they're both performers they're both Oprah yeah mother Teresa and Marie Kondo Oh Marie Kondo that is so you Malala and Sean Connery a saint but you're a literal thing I mean I'm also Lady Gaga and Nicole Kidman I'm so like you know Lady Gaga Mother Teresa I'm just going through and read a few more that I thought were interesting okay I'm also um Daenerys Targaryen or whatever how do you say that that you got it okay cool I've never watched Game of Thrones I'm Jon Snow and Maya Angelou and Jennifer Lawrence I am Morgan Freeman that is the trump card of all trump cards you have the best type if you are Morgan Freeman I'm also rose from the Titanic she's like the worst you liked rose she had like no personality other than like being turbulent wow that's my hot date hot meet you actually like for agent antagonist in Titanic I mean a different Jack is the protagonist and that's why I like Jack I mean I like Jack better than Rose but like she's still the protagonist like Oh like I'm so rich and I was like so many problems you also could have fit on this plank but League go ahead and die oh they both could have fit I mean I agree like I you didn't even try she was just like okay Bob I'm gonna see you later I've finished my way clock can you tell just drag shows every single podcast now that I I haven't not drank yeah on the podcast in a while since like the beginning I feel like I get progressively more like gutsy with the things that I say but I think it helps the podcast energy because I think for the people who make it to the end we've talked about this before I feel like I thrive when I'm not drinking but everyone around me is yeah cuz I feel like I can go into like tipsy mode when I'm not tipsy like I can like say funny things and like get there and have a good time but I think when I'm actually drinking I'm really nervous that I'm like the most drunk so I'm constantly like trying to not be funny and like not push boundaries in the podcast where we did dream casting one of the comments was like I know the Skylar's pregnant she's not drinking but like this podcast is like big drunk energy silly yeah you know what I want to do okay let's make up like a code word and anyone who's still listening or watching it now should comment it or DM it to us because I want to know who's still watching it like the hour and 26 minute mark ish I think it's like I went in 19 minutes how about purple banana okay comet I and then like the purple heart emoji and then the banana emoji yes do you think I am og the eye emoji and then the purple heart emoji and then the banana and if you don't have a moejisha to say I heart purple bananas and I want to see I'm gonna go through and personally heart every comment that says that wow I'm committing to it I love although I probably won't cuz I also say I'm going to link things in the description let's do it vice I Sierra hi Skyler i'm estefanía and i'm going into high school in a couple of weeks and i am so terrified and just so terrified and i just was wondering if you guys I had any advice for me I'm so scared of what people are gonna think of me and making the right impression so thank you guys I love you so much heyyyyy oh I love you you were so sorry yes well I my little sister started high school as we're filming this today and so I feel like I'm just gonna say the same thing I said to her go which is like it's so cliche but literally just be yourself and also don't be so stuck on who your friends were in middle school or who you think you should be I think that I like held on to a lot of friends for a long time when like I should have just really been seeing like who is in my classes and who I have the best time with and like not worrying about like who i sat with at lunch and like fitting in and kind of like making myself a theatre person or like making myself like a cool person or this type of person I think just like genuinely being friends with the people that make you the happiest and if it that's like 10 different groups of people that's great like the more the merrier you know but I think not like nailing yourself down to like this has been my group of friends and I'm going to stay friends with them like for all of high school yeah and also like trying new things like join the drama club join the rap club like I don't know try out for like dance instead of regular PE like do things that you wouldn't normally have done because high school is such a fun time to like start new activities yeah I think that's all really really good advice and really important I have three kind of practical pieces of advice so first would be hot movies make high school into like the biggest deal right every movie is about like high school everything changes the reality of it is high school isn't that different yeah like and also in movies and TV shows high schoolers are played by people in like their late 20s yeah high schoolers just look like middle schoolers who are a couple years older your gonna look like sara paxton in sleep over when you're a freshman you're not and that's okay yeah so high school isn't as big of a deal as they make it in movies where everything changes everything changes just like it would any other school year just like when you went from seventh to eighth grade just like when you went from six to seventh grade like it's gonna be different because it's a new school year and people change but not because it's high school I remember I hyped up my first day of high school so much yeah like I remember listening to 15 by Taylor Swift like on repeat like so scared so nervous like everything's gonna change it's your prop when you get to school you're probably gonna hang out with the same people for the most part at the beginning but that's four years things are gonna change and also you're not that old like I think a lot of times people go into high school and they're like oh I've been playing soccer my whole life so like I can't start playing volleyball like people who are volleyball people are already volleyball people that's not true like and make those you can try new things now now is the time yeah and also like I only know one couple maybe two that were like highschool sweethearts and like now have like a successful relationship so like don't be so set on like this is my forever and if this ends like I'm never gonna find anyone else cuz like I think it's a wonderful amazing thing to be high school sweethearts and like Carly and Kenzie both like have are with their high school sweethearts and they're so happy but I think like I probably dated like 20 poises there were a lot of boys after high school too you know and I don't think I don't know yeah I think that's really important and I think that's something that can be like easy to forget going in my second piece of practical advice is really push yourself out of your comfort zone and talk to people in your classes in your first week especially like the first few days because it obviously that's super hard to do and so much easier to say but after that first week everyone kind of has their like group of friends in each class which isn't always gonna be the same people that you hang out with like outside of school and at lunch yeah like I remember having like the girls I would hang out with in PE and like the girl that I always wanted to sit next to and math and like the guy I always wanted to sit next to and geography yeah and like they weren't necessarily my like my outside of class friends but they're your class friends and once those connections are kind of like forged in that first week then if you don't do that because I also have not done that before yeah it you try to kind of push yourself out and then you feel like you're on the outs and then you feel like it's different yeah push yourself out of that comfort zone in that first week and like talk to the people around you and like get to know them and even if you have to make up something dumb to like break the ice be like oh hey what'd you put for that question oh hey I have that pencil like just whatever things you can do to start a conversation and I think that's applicable at any age I think that's applicable for like starting a new job or like if you're in college college especially you don't know anyone in any of your classes usually and I same thing there were some classes my freshman year of college that I didn't do that and I was just alone every class and then some classes where like the first day I just talked to the people around me we'd sit together we'd study together and then we became friends what's your third piece of advice oh oh my third piece of advice is um acting indifferent or too cool isn't gonna be the way to make actual friendships and it can be easy to put those walls up because like we talked about with my Enneagram type if you put yourself on the outs then no one can make you feel like you're on the outs but if you do that to yourself you're never gonna give yourself the chance to like meet people and so like when you put those walls up you protect yourself from not getting ousted but you asked yourself and you take away that chance to make genuine connections so being cool being like too cool or indifferent or aloof it's not gonna make real friendships so it's okay to be vulnerable and it's okay to you know be sensitive yeah and those things are how you make real connections well and in that same note of like saying yes to things and like being accepting of friends also acknowledge like who you are as a person hasn't fundamentally changed since you're in high school like I tried to go to maybe five high school or football games for the entire time I was in high school didn't have a good time at a single one and I loved every football game I ever would do every basketball game every volleyball game because that is who you are as a person yeah and that is who I am as a person and if you didn't like going to basketball games when you were in seventh grade you're not gonna like it now yeah totally and if you love like being outgoing and like then like paint your face and wear your school colors and go out and do it but don't think like all of a sudden you're gonna be super extroverted or all of a sudden you're gonna be like I don't know the whole idea of like we're in high school it's different now no nope you're the same and you can change yourself the only difference is like some guys will have mustaches Dom be taller than you that's a fight I remember walking in my freshman year I mean like oh my gosh it's that guy a teacher or a senior he's a massage also if senior boys like youth that's not like cool yeah like that's weird I remember a senior boy had a crush on me and back then I was like oh my gosh like that's so cool like he has a crush on me and I look back on it now I'm like I was 14 and he was 18 that's weird yeah ah Greece but now like Stevens 3 years older than me but that's different because yeah like there's a big difference between being like 23 and 26 and like 14 and 18 yeah okay okay next question this is a long podcast and I was a kind of one in your advice or to know if he had any where the web summer experience Leslie making sure that as an adult over at the age of 21 especially for those of us that like to drink I feel like it's become a kind of socially accepted thing to drink more than I feel like it was in the past more often and more each day or whatever it is for each person but wonder if you have any advice to make sure that you don't let it get out of hand or use it for stress relief or if you guys have any advice or experience I just want to know what you have to say thank you I think for me like the biggest thing is intentionally drinking being like okay I'm going to go to brunch and have a mimosa instead of just like getting one because I'm there I think I've noticed especially since I'm pregnant especially a lot of like family members will constantly like they'll have ideas for things that we can do together but all of them involve drinking so then they'll be left with like nothing to do it's like oh let's go to a winery uh can't you let's go to a brewery Oh can't do that oh let's do this let's do that and everything is centered around drinking which is like fun and fine to do like once a week girl we get like on the weekends or whatever but it's hard when every single activity of the day like after five o'clock or whenever you get off work it's like it's drinking time yeah I think setting down and like realizing why you want to drink like do I want to drink this it's going to make me like more relaxed and not think about work and de-stress or am i drinking because other people think I'm fun when I'm drinking and like they might not like who I truly am yeah you know what I'm you think I think from like more like the psychological side yeah like finding ways to unwind that aren't about alcohol because once you start using that like I when like maybe a year or two ago my routine was like after I'm done working I have a beer and I sit on the couch and that's fine but that wasn't maybe the healthiest thing for me because then I'm like I need a beer to unwind when the reality of it is I can sit on the couch and drink a hot tea and still unwind so I think finding ways that aren't alcohol based that help you unwind and then the second thing which we've talked about before is sometimes it can feel like you have to drink when you're in social situations yeah so I think alternate between because you feel like you have to have a drink in your hand yeah or else like you're not part of that culture so have a cranberry juice yeah have a water even like being pregnant when I go out I never get water like I'll get water on the side but I think to feel more included I always make sure I get like a Shirley Temple or pink lemonade or like a virgin margarita because I do think a lot of it is like the social like fun element of it and not like the getting drunk element of it yeah and so I think it's totally alright to not be pregnant and be like I want a Shirley Temple and just like have that be your like kind of fun thing and I think also set those boundaries with your group of friends or your family or whoever you drink with yeah because I think when you're a little more hesitant like oh no thanks not right now I don't want one people are like ah come on drink up we're getting you a beer but I think there are those people in my life who I know like don't always want to drink or don't want to drink and I don't need to like pressure them total I mean you never need to pressure anyone but the first thing I offer them isn't like my brother isn't a big drinker yeah it's like when he when Jordan comes over the first thing I say isn't like can I get you a beer I'm like can I get you a glass of water whereas like when even when Kyle comes over he does see stress a lot when he has a beard like even like before the podcast that we were filming with them he was like just drinking at water cuz I know that he didn't want to impose by asking you guys for a beer yeah but I was like hey Kyle you should go get yourself a beer so you're in Stephen would be fine with it yeah and like I think it's like knowing yourself and also knowing the other people of like me telling him that wasn't because I think he's more fun when he has a beer he should feel obligated but like I know it will help you get into that headspace because you had a hard day at work yeah and like you want to have fun with friends yeah I agree with that okay next question I see Aaron Skylar my name is Kalin been such a big fan of your podcast looking forward to it every single Monday I was curious if you had any words of wisdom and growing in confidence about not wearing makeup on a daily basis I've had total medic skin since middle school I'm 22 now and still just struggle with being okay with having blemishes and feeling beautiful when I'm walking around outside without having to cover up my face so thank you guys so much love you love you I'll let you speak on this one because I do wear makeup every day so yeah I mean I so I went through a phase it was actually right after I had done a show when I was 19 I've done Little Shop of Horrors and so every night for like three weeks during TAC and during the show at a full face of makeup eyelashes everything and I my skin was breaking out a little bit more at the time and then when the show ended I kept wearing fake eyelashes and deep foundation and you know lip liner and doing everything even though the show had ended because I had gotten uncomfortable with looking at myself without that and not even just looking at myself like being in social situations without that yeah and I got to the point where I decided not to wear makeup for a month because I need you to tell like for hey I need to give my skin time to breathe because my skin was being suffocated and B I needed to learn and kind of force myself to be okay with the way that I looked without makeup and it wasn't easy and like the first few days and weeks I would be like oh don't take a picture of me like this or oh don't you know I don't I don't want to be like I don't want to do this or I don't want to go there but once I got past that point and I started recognizing myself as still me without makeup I think that was a big change and still like looking at in the mirror and being like no no that's also Sierra without makeup because I had gotten so used to only being myself when I was wearing makeup yeah I think that helped me a lot and so for me to not I haven't gotten to that place sense where I feel like I have to wear makeup yeah I take no makeup days all the time and they're not just days where I'm doing nothing and I think that's a big thing is that our first inclination is being like if I'm not wearing makeup that means I don't get dressed and I don't like go out yeah and so taking days where you do put on a cute outfit that makes you feel good and you do go on a date and you do hang out with your friends but just not wearing makeup instead of just like oh today's a lazy day so I'm not gonna wear makeup I think that was a big thing and that's something that's really helped me of being like oh no I am filming today or I am vlogging or I am going to you know go on a date with Steven but and I'm gonna wear a cute outfit yeah but I'm also not gonna do my makeup I was talking to my friend yesterday and I feel like I mean that's a bigger conversation but we were talking about Botox and like our thoughts on it and I was saying it is so crazy and like a little bit sad to me that as women we have to do so many things already like we already feel obligated to like or at least I do I'll just speak for my experience like I feel obligated to like wear a makeup and like do my hair and also like get my hair dyed once or twice a year and like for a long time wear extensions and like always make sure that I'm like wearing a bra and like have a cute outfit and I'm showered and like have a handbag and all these words and yeah like it there so and shave and like there are so many layers and then also now in the age of like Botox and lip fillers and all these things like you I feel like we also feel a little bit of pressure to like manipulate our face like not only wear makeup and cover it up and do eyelash extensions and all the things but also to like change like the wrinkles on your face or the size of your lips or whatever and it just is it's crazy to me because I am someone who I wear makeup everyday like you even times us at home like I think it's partially like partially like a confident saying but I think mostly it's like a meditative thing of I really like taking that time for myself in the morning like I listen to a podcast or I listen to like my meditation app and like do my makeup like drink some tea drink some orange juice and like take that time for myself but I think it is kind of the question of why are you wearing makeup and like can you fix that thing like sometimes you just want to wear makeup because it's like a date night and you want to wear like a fun red lip with your fun red dress and like feel like you're taking the time to pamper yourself but if it's like I have to get up for work at 5:00 a.m. and if I do my makeup I have to get up at 4:30 and I'm so tired why why do you have to wake up at 4:30 is it because you don't want your co-workers to see you with your bare face cuz you're embarrassed of it yeah then maybe work on that you know and I think that's kind of my expert my position on like surgery and injections and like modifications as well kind of the same as makeup is like who are you doing it for and why yeah like and that's another reason I think you should never tell someone that they should wear makeup or that they should get any procedure done because they shouldn't do it for anyone but themselves like you get a lot of pleasure out of wearing makeup and you do it not for other people but for you yeah I don't really like wearing makeup yeah and so like when I do it it's because I want to yeah and like I can't tell you how many comments I get saying like you should get lip injections because I have small lips but that is literally never something that once I have thought to myself hmm would feel a lot happier if I had lip injections or if I did lipliner so I've looked like I have bigger lips that doesn't that doesn't make me hang out that's not for me total and so I think with cosmetic procedures which wasn't the question but in addition to with makeup think about why are you doing it who are you doing it for and also what happens if you don't yeah well I think both of our stances on like makeup and cosmetic procedures is the same and like you shouldn't judge people for doing what they need to do in their self-confidence journey mm-hmm like if someone is just never going to be able to love their nose and like that is a sticking point for them and every time they look in the mirror they hate their nose and they have for the last 25 years I think if it empowers them to change it and it benefits their life and they genuinely cannot get there then all the power to them it's their money they're an adult for me I think that's fine I don't think I would ever change my face because I think I for myself need to just get to a point where I love myself enough I feel the same way like I think for myself like I've talked a lot about like after I have the baby or before I was pregnant like getting a breast reduction but that's because of like actual back issues and health issues whereas like I don't think I would ever get a boob job because for me if I had an issue with like the aesthetics of my boobs I would just need to get over that for myself yeah but I think just like don't judge and figure out why you feel like you need to make wear makeup yeah is it because you like it or is it because you're afraid of your co-workers your friends or your family or your partner to see you yeah so I think that's important too all right well great you want Apple podcast yes subscribe if you're listening on Spotify or Apple podcast or Google Play or YouTube um you know what if you want you could subscribe on all platforms yeah I'll never miss it um leave a comment down below if you're watching on YouTube if you're watching on Apple podcasts give us a reading of 5 stars if liked it and if you write us a review that would be really nice too yeah that really helped it helps a lot well thank you so much guys we love you bye [Music]

Channel: Sierra Unfiltered

Views: 125,676

Rating: 4.8722858 out of 5

Keywords: pregnant, pregnancy, getting pregnant, having a baby, baby, personality test, enneagram type, getting deep, struggles, best and worst parts, enneagram type 2, enneagram type 3, enneagram test, meyers briggs type, sierra, sierra schultzzie, sierra schultzzie podcast, sierra unfiltered, sierra schultzzie pregnant

Id: IcQcUiOAtgE

Length: 115min 47sec (6947 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 09 2019