People Who Accidentally Killed Someone, How Has It Impacted Your Life? r/AskReddit Reddit Stories

serious redditors who accidentally killed someone how has it impacted your life without a doubt one of the hardest things i've ever been through i was driving to meet my mom for dinner near her work after class it was maybe 7 p.m i typically take the highway when heading out that way but it was a nice day so i decided to take the back roads along the way there was a cyclist going along i noticed him but he was in the bike lane which was decently sized the road was 45 miles per hour but i had slowed down some as i got closer i made sure to get closer to the center line to give him some space then once i'm barely a few yards from the guy he decided to turn directly in front of my car he didn't make any indication that he would be turning he didn't so much as look and there wasn't an intersection in the area but nonetheless here he was directly in the path of my car with barely a few feet separating us i remember very distinctly everything seeming to slow down i reflexively slammed onto my brakes as hard as i physically could i watched in agony as my car screeched towards him the last thing i remember is his body coming up onto my windshield the sound of crunching metal and breaking glass and the blood supposedly i had called the cops hysterically begging for help when they had arrived i was on the ground kneeling next to the man sobbing as he lay face down on the sidewalk not moving he was pronounced dead at the scene after the accident i went numb i couldn't sleep i couldn't eat i was so nasty as i could barely stand and in the few moments when i could get myself together i was forced to have the same conversation over and over with police lawyers detectives and what had happened always pressing for more details it was tortuous and felt never-ending months later after the investigation was concluded i learned that the cyclist apart from not wearing a helmet was a homeless drug addict and was likely high on hurry and at the time of the accident but that didn't come out until months after it had happened it had been published in the local papers that a cyclist had been killed in a car accident it was a big story for the town and i saw it everywhere online i know i shouldn't have but i would read the comments people left on the article all saying things like the driver was probably texting it's so unsafe out there for cyclists and other things insinuating that it was my fault i internalized it even though i'm absolutely certain i was paying attention part of me keeps thinking thoughts about how i might have looked down at some point to perhaps adjust the radio and i didn't see his signal that i missed my opportunity to avoid this that somehow it is my fault for a long time after the accident i was very far from okay i was dependent on sleeping pills to get any sleep at all and my appetite dwindled every time i got into a car even if i wasn't driving i felt panicked a few years later and after a lot of intensive therapy and now i'm mostly okay i still have occasional nightmares and can remember the sounds like it just happened i haven't fully forgiven myself for it and i'm not sure if i ever will but it doesn't stop me from living my day-to-day life anymore it wasn't my fault but when i used to drive a wheelchair transport van a bracket that holds the wheelchairs down failed the guy tipped over enough to hit his head on a cross brace when i turned a corner he had a degenerative disease and had fragile bones he ended up in the hospital and never recovered past a few days later the last i heard the company that made the brackets ended up changing their design because the accident unveiled a flaw in their design i think about it a lot because a person died who was in my care i don't feel guilty about it or anything there was nothing i could have done differently something just broke it's still a bummer when i think about it though about five years ago i hit an old lady in the street while i was on my motorcycle i believe she was dead on the scene but wasn't pronounced dead until the hospital i wasn't drinking or speeding she just ran across the street chasing the bus i'll always remember the instant she turned to look at me before i hit her it definitely shook me up and i'm rather sensitive to crossing the street especially jay walking or outside of a crosswalk every once in a while i get flashbacks and kind of shudder just remembering everything replaying it over and over i still live near where it happened and have to drive the street occasionally i always am cautious now in areas with lots of pedestrians watching carefully to make sure no one is crossing i think it didn't help that at the spot i hit her i have had cars or people try to cross before cutting me off i remember the day it happened i was driving slower than i might usually because i knew it was a trouble spot there's still that what if i hadn't driven it or what if i saw her before she started crossing i'll always have that with me knowing she died and her kids and grandkids never saw her again knowing she was just trying to get to work to provide for her family only to get killed by someone else on his way to work it sucks i've never spoken to her family though her son was at the scene that day and i can't imagine what they went through but i hope they know it wasn't intentional or negligent on my part and i hope they are doing okay sometimes i imagine what it would be like to meet them i don't know what i would say or do a very drunk guy tripped off the sidewalk into five o'clock traffic right in front of me not enough time to stop he was limp enough that when i hit him with my suv he wrapped up on my back right tire i stopped the suv got out and found him wrapped up like a burrito so many broken bones blood everywhere but his head was resting at ten o'clock on the tire was in the process of reaching to touch him just a few inches away and i saw him breathe i started crying went up to the sidewalk and went into shock after firefighters cops ambulance came by took the report and i was taken back to my apt from a friend spent that weekend at their place and they drove the suv to my app beforehand but it took over a week for me to be able to drive the suv again two weeks later was told the vehicle was a crime scene so cops took it for another day but deemed it not needed found out the parents were trying to sue me but due to the five witnesses at the location which i didn't even know they vouched for me the toxicology reading he was at .25 alcohol level at death and he had hep c one of the firefighters caught that when they were removing him due to all the blood and the parents did know about most likely due to drugs so they dropped the case i will never drive on the sidewalk side of the road unless it's a one-way and i still hug towards the interior and tend to swerve if people are on the sidewalk this occurred 12 years ago i was driving a friend on a dirt path and lost control of the vehicle it flipped six times i was fine except a pinch in my back and glass on my hands he died instantly i was caught in the bitterness for a long time it was so unfair not that he died but that i was fine i was unhurt i called his family and told them what happened i only got their voicemail which was easier and i was grateful for it his mother called me back and told me to forgive myself he forgave me instantly i still struggle to do that sometimes all of it was hard everything went as good for me as it could possibly have gone but it was and he's still hard to forgive myself it's been nearly two years but i still remember it vividly every time i drive throw away because i don't want this getting linked to my main account i was actually going to tell this story on another thread a couple weeks ago but deleted it i used to be an airline pilot for a relatively large regional airline because i didn't make much money doing it i worked as a flight instructor on my days off from the airline one day a student of mine and i were up practicing some maneuvers over an area with a lot of trees as we were finishing up and about to go back to the airport our engine started acting weird it was a bit rough and we lost rpm no big deal i thought i figured we were just running the mixture too lean so i enriched it and had no improvement i started heading towards a field we passed a couple miles back it wasn't big but it was our best shot if things got worse as the airport was something like 15 miles away the engine only got worse i was having trouble maintaining altitude and i radioed in a mayday call with our position eventually the engine died completely i tried a restart but nothing worked as we were lining up our final approach we made sure the airplane was secured and all that turns out the field was a lot smaller than i thought we touched down and it was extremely rough i had a lot of pressure on the brakes trying to not lock them the trees were coming up very fast and i decided we weren't going to stop so i tried to get the airplane back on its front wheels and slam on the brakes to make it flip so we could at least stop i thought about it too late and we smashed straight into a big tree i can't remember very clearly getting out but i do remember seeing my student in the front seat slouched over with his head to the side i tried to yell for him to get out and realized his eyes were open the local police arrived within minutes of us touching down and later they said they saw us coming in they got my student out and took me to a hospital to be looked at an x-ray because i had bad pain in my neck and back they pronounced my student dead at the scene his neck snapped on impact i didn't have any legal action taken against me or anything the ntsb and faa said that i did the right thing in the situation i just wish i could have gotten the plane flipped over i feel guilty his wife blamed me and tried suing me i have extreme anxiety and don't fly anymore i wish i could bring myself to do it because i truly loved it i work construction now because i have always loved building stuff and fixing up the house i'm 36 years old now and have it on my bucket list to fly one last time had a detainee who neglected to mention a peanut allergy when he got his allow me he only ate the peanuts went into anaphylaxis and the mps called me the medic i popped him with ep and loaded in some iv benadryl it goes from dude might die without attention to me slicing open his trachea to get air into his lungs still a no-go apparently he was also highly allergic to benadryl which i pumped straight into his heart i think about it occasionally but it doesn't really bother me he might have just wanted to have a minor reaction to go to the hospital or he might have been trying to off himself either way dude made bomb vests in the excess variety so i don't lose sleep over it edit thanks kindly for my first gold when i was 16 i was going home from work late at night and needed to swing by the gas station i was getting ready to make a left turn into the station and waited for a few motorcycles to pass and i looked down the road to clear the turn and saw a single light from a motorcycle about a mile away so i went ahead and made the turn about halfway through the turn i saw the light getting brighter and notice the guy was maybe three feet away from my car that's when time began to slow down as i stomped on the gas to try to get out of the way it was unfortunately too late as his body hit the side of my car completely shoving to the side i got out and he just laid crushed in the street the gas station was very busy so a crowd immediately formed around the man and cops and ambulance came he died a few hours later in the hospital after the accident i just sat on the side of the road thinking well i'm going to prison i just killed a dude very much in shock and a bystander came up to me and said do you see what you did go see what you did i wasn't really responsive at this time after detectives came and talked to people i found out the guy was going well over 150 miles per hour on a bike trying to catch up to his friends and when i pulled out he didn't slow down but apparently ditched his bike and only his body hit my car turns out if he stayed on his bike he would have missed me completely i was bothered for some time but have come to accept that this kind of crazy it happens just have to carry on i am a surgical resident in the united states and i lost a patient that i know was my fault i can't go into much detail due to patient privacy but i can say she was a young woman with a husband and young kids who was in for routine weight loss surgery she had a complication the day after surgery but i was on hour 36 of a long weekend call and i missed it when i checked on her she coded and died we managed to get her to the orange ray operate but she languished for weeks in the sikku we eventually had to withdraw care and i'll never forget the heartbreak in her husband's eyes he told me he forgave me but i never forgave myself after all she was having the surgery to keep up with her young kids and i took that from them i had a head injury that took me out for a few months earlier in the year and those two traumas combined sent me on a deep spiral i started drinking and doing terrible at work i couldn't sleep and i had nightmares i developed a deep anxiety and depression and i ended up losing my fiance of four years as well as most recently my job it's been 2.5 hard years and my depression just lost me my current girlfriend i started counseling this week to recover and i'm hopefully going to be able to salvage my career i already feel better i guess to answer the question the death has destroyed my life but i'm determined to pick up the pieces and not let it destroy my future not sure if it counts but one friend was showing signs of suicidal tendencies she was growing distant her smile didn't fully reach her eyes a laughter sounds muffled on day she gave me all of her art supplies at the time i failed to see that this were signs of suicidal thoughts i was just another dumb kid excited to get free stuff one night i was severely paranoid an intense fear gripped my heart but i didn't know why so i thought it was my anxiety acting up with that in mind i went to sleep that night she called me five times she called five times for help but i didn't answer i was asleep i woke up that morning only find out she shot herself it wouldn't have happened had i seen the signs had i been awake for 25 years i believed i killed my grandma i was 15 at the time and staying with my grandma who had asthma she wakes me up in the morning and had a hard time breathing she tells me to put some medicine in a respiratory machine to help her breathe i was pretty scared at that point and didn't know how many drops i put in my grandmother uses the machine and after not sure how long falls backwards on the bed and isn't breathing i ran out of the house to get help at the neighbors and they take over i do remember the paramedics performing cpr but it was too late i shoved all the fear pain and sadness away inside of me and closed myself off from feeling anything making me distant and numb to my parents trying to help it was 25 years later one year ago that i started talking with my wife about this and realized that my back pain started around that time maybe half a year or a year later with talking and therapy i managed to solve that trauma and i'm almost completely pain free it seems traumas like that can put lots of stress on the muscles and cause them to tense up causing physical pain a friend of mine was in a slump and we had seen each other every day i told him i would come over on thursday he drunk texted me and i told him to sober up first he killed himself i know it's not my fault now but i spent a long time thinking that if i had been there it wouldn't have happened it bothered me for a couple of years but eventually i had bigger problems and now he's just a person i used to know not killed immediately but turned into a quadriplegic which is a death sentence for a 19 year old i was also 19 years old driving a friend of mine around my hometown because he hadn't been there in years he had moved out of state many years before was on a narrow country road very hilly and windy i am cresting the top of one hill going a little faster than the speed limit and a van comes up driving right down the center of that road there's a steep embankment to the left and a deep ditch to the right i swerved to miss the van realized i was going into a ditch and swerved back i ended up swerving completely around this van and hit the embankment on the left my car flipped down that hill seven times i was wearing my seat belt but he wasn't my side of the car was practically crushed his barely had a dent but because i was wearing my seat belt i just got glass embedded in my face and scalp and messed up my left eye shoulder and hip because he was not wearing his seat belt he broke his neck he blamed me for the accident and for everything that happened to him so i have not heard from him since it happened i can only assume he's dead now as the life expectancy of full quadriplegics is pretty low it's been 15 years but no one gets in a vehicle that i am in without a seat belt period when i was 12 i went to visit my father's family in his home country we were having a barbecue at his uncle's house when this cat goes over to me and starts meowing and asking for food before i could do anything the uncle's wife comes up and kicks the cat with all her string to send it away i had never wished for someone to die that badly especially after i found out the cat had just had babies less than two days before a week after that she died in a horrible car crash and my dad told me it was my fault for wishing she would die already in college my friend and i were drinking and doing pills together he was going to drive home but i insisted he sleep on my couch the next morning i went to wake him around 1pm go watch football i then realized he was blue in the face and his eyes were wide open i called 911 and started doing cpr he never woke up a few days later one of my other friends assaulted me beating me to her pulp he screamed you killed him you killed him i did not fight back because i felt so guilty i quit doing pills and i have had many friends die because of that and heroin it has caused me to lose all self-confidence and sprung me into heavy drinking i entered into recovery and have had some relapses it's a constant struggle and i think about how i could have done things differently please be careful with that kind of stuff ladies and gentlemen i remember a story on reddit that started with i accidentally killed seven people he left a rag in a water heater which lead to carbon monoxide building up which was one of the leading issues the family died i believe a few of the seven were children who died to that if anyone can find the comment and link it that would be appreciated edit here it is thank you you gamergirl79 for finding it edit too i said one of the leading issues to why the family died not the reason they got killed entirely a van was left on which was what helped produce the carbon monoxide at an accelerated rate scary to think how many of these incidents are related to vehicles i'm buying a dashcam and taking a shower i need a break from redit for a little while when i was very young 11 or 12 i was in gutemla at a touring company near the semi-champion caves there was a big rope swing over the water that everyone in the tour group was going off you swung out over the river off a cliff and dropped into the water my parents had both gone without difficulty and they decided it was safe enough for me to go and i was next in line however a french man pushed in front of me i'm not sure for what reason and went before me i remember being really annoyed he went off the cliff and something in the swing malfunctioned and he was dropped onto the beach with a sickening crack i remember blood spreading into the water and his body looking impossibly limp before my mom yanked me away from the edge maybe i didn't directly kill him but the possibility that it could have been me instead of him going over that cliff with the broken rope has stuck with me since when i was a new nurse working on the night shift i had a patient come in with classic alcohol withdrawal symptoms also i thought i called the doctor and asked for permission to start the treatment protocol sewer on sue where a score of eight or greater allows the nurse to give iv8 of another reassess in 30 minutes i dosed him a couple of times and his score remained pretty high so i started to doubt if it was working i called the doc and he decided to cancel the silver about an hour later his respiratory rate dropped to about 6-8 times a minute we gave him romazicon and put him on the clip and transferred to ccu a cta revealed massive pulmonary emboli in both lungs and he was intubated and started on the treatment for that they pulled the plug about a week later i can't help but wonder if my actions caused his demise he may have had the pace from the start and was mimicking dts due to hypoxia i've seen a lot of people die but this one sticks with me greatly accident during one of my shifts while on deck at my local inca pool was very unhealthy mentally and physically would go through floods of emotions ranging from extreme sadness to extreme anger blaming myself for what happened i would hurt myself and have really unhealthy thoughts currently i'm doing much better i'm taking many steps to improve my physical self and i'm going to therapy to help myself mentally my friends mean so much to me as they have been with me before through and after the incident while i was living with my uncle i gave him some 100 milligrams morphine pills he already had hepatitis c from intravenous drug use the next morning i woke up to him non-responsive convulsing on the couch i was nervous to call 911 because we were growing weed and mushrooms in the house at the time and he was a convicted felon if he would have survived he probably would have gone back to prison called 911 after a few minutes of frantic pacing and paramedics showed up he died in the ambulance in front of the house i'm positive that the pills i gave him ended his life when i was a young teen i had a suicide pact with a friend from my area that i talked with constantly on aol we both came from abusive homes and he couldn't take life anymore after cps came and his parents convinced them all was okay even with suspected sexual abuse from his dad they deemed it all okay i could empathize with his feelings at the time i regret it every day but i backed out of the suicide pact but agreed to be there for him i was there when he shot himself in the head with his dad's gun i did try to talk him out of it all the time and i did try to tell people but no one seemed to take me or us seriously i still hear the gunshot and feel and see the blood in my mind every day is hard for me because i really loved him but i just wanted him to feel peace finally i feel like us being able to sit online for hours per day and talk and talk for hours about our home lives and how we wanted to die really was dangerous at the time can't believe there aren't any war stories at the top of this thread i was an infantry marine and participated in the iraq invasion in 2003 the tip of the spear they liked to call it first ground forces to cross into iraqi territory started at the kuwait border and ended up in baghdad we accidentally killed non-combatants constantly during the initial weeks of fighting and toward the end of the invasion there were a growing number of marines perfectly willing to shoot women children and the elderly on purpose nothing unusual about any of that's in war no surprise either i suppose that all who fought with me have had incredibly ducked up lives since they came back to society some guys i know have killed themselves i tried to in horribly creative ways a marine from my platoon tried to blow his head off by setting off a piece of dead cord inside his own mouth a type of exploding wire used to detonate c4 charges it only took off most of his jaw and face he's still alive another former platoon mate put a shotgun in his own mouth and was far more successful the lesson here reddit is is that when we dehumanized others so that we could mass murder them casually meticulously professionally we dehumanized ourselves we sullied our marine corps with the stain of that dishonest and futile war and we betrayed the very ideals for which we pledged to kill and die in the first place when you gaze into the abyss am i right i guess you could say i spend a fair amount of time thinking about all of it i killed my mother i smoked for five years while living with her and she developed lung cancer same as my father i begged her for forgiveness i don't know how many times before she died but she always told me there was nothing to forgive this was almost eight years ago and i carry the guilt and grief with me every day as a sort of self-punishment edit thank you all for the kind responses several years ago i was driving on the interstate and a guy ahead of me's tire blew out he panicked and spun out into my lane i slammed into the passenger door and his teenage daughter was killed on impact the other driver was deemed at fault but i felt guilty it took quite a bit of time and therapy but i realize now that there's nothing i could have done it was just an accident not a lot has changed but i now give extra space whenever possible while driving edit he was deemed at fault for swerving into another lane not for the tire blowout my uncle was a truck driver by profession i don't know all the details but someone in a car pulled out in front of him on the highway and he t-boned him the man in the car died on impact but my uncle was very broken up about it this was about a month before thanksgiving totally not his fault but he was suspended from his job while they investigated we found out during that time that the man who died had a wife and kids this fact especially seemed to devastate him the last time i saw him was at thanksgiving and he was super quiet which is so not like him he ended up sneaking out without telling anyone we found out a few days later that he went home and shot himself when i was 17 i was driving down a dark road and out of nowhere the back of a guy just appeared walking in my lane i hit him almost as soon as he appeared and he smashed into my windshield and rolled over it's one of the worst things i can remember when i got out of my car to check on the guy after trying to figure out what had just happened he ended up dying after they hauled him off and the police were very emotionally supportive it turns out he was a homeless guy that was at 0.28 back it's impossible to not feel guilty and have some emotional damage from the event still even though i'm 21 now it's not really something i try to think about anymore [Music] you

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Id: -YyTP4XeQ3c

Length: 28min 29sec (1709 seconds)

Published: Sat Jan 15 2022