♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE ) HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK. MY NEXT GUEST IS A FANTASTIC
STAND-UP COMEDIAN AND REGULAR PANELIST ON "WAIT WAIT... DON'T
TELL ME." PLEASE WELCOME, PAULA
POUNDSTONE! ♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE ) COME ON UP. ♪ ♪ ♪
>> HEY! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). >> Stephen: WELL, AS I SAID--
>> THANK YOU. >> Stephen: I'VE BEEN A FAN--
I'VE BEEN A FAN FOREVER. >> WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH. THAT'S NICE TO HEAR. >> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW HOW
MANY TIMES I SAW YOU ON DAVE OVER THE YEARS. >> WELL, I DON'T KNOW, EITHER. >> Stephen: YOU'VE ALSO BEEN
ON "WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME," THE GREAT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). >> THANK YOU. >> Stephen: PUBLIC RADIO SHOW
WHICH I LISTEN TO EVERY WEEK, NEVER MISS IT. YOU'VE BEEN OVER 200 TIMES, I
THINK. >> YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW HOW
MANY TIMES I'VE BEEN ON THE SHOW. >> Stephen: YOU DON'T? >> NO, I DON'T. >> Stephen: WE HAVE A RESEARCH
DEPARTMENT AND IT SAYS 201 TIMES. THAT'S OVER 200. >> WHAT I DO KNOW, THERE'S A
LOVELY MAN NAMED LYNN FOM, WHO KEEPS THE STATS. HE'S JUST A GUY. HE'S NOT HIRED BY THE SHOW. HE JUST-- HE'S A GUY ON TWITTER,
AND HE KEEPS THE STATS. AND I BELIEVE I'M CORRECT IN
SAYING THEY HOLD THE RECORD FOR LOSSES ON "WAIT WAIT... DON'T
TELL ME." >> Stephen: OKAY. YOU'RE THE LEAST-INFORMED
PANELIST ON "WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME." >> HERE'S THE THING. IT WOULD BE A GREAT JOB IF THE
OTHERS DIDN'T CHEAT, BUT THEY DO CHEAT. ROX 18 ROBERTS USUALLY WINS BUT
HER ANSWERS ARE AFGHANISTAN OTHER AFGHANISTAN, AND LEMURS
DOWN HIS PANTS. >> Stephen: HOW DO YOU PREP? TO BE JUST UNINFORMED ENOUGH TO
LOSE, HOW DO YOU PREP? >> IT'S NOT EASY. I HAVE TO REMOVE THE KNOWLEDGE
THAT I GO IN WITH. ( LAUGHTER )
AND I DO THAT BY READING-- I'M ACTUALLY EMBARRASSED TO SAY WHAT
I READ EYE READ THE "NEW YORK POST" WHICH NORMALLY --
>> Stephen: THAT WILL TAKE IT RIGHT OUT OF YOUR BRAIN. >> I'M TELLING YOU, AS SOON AS I
CAN GET IT INTO THE RECYCLE, I DO. THE REASON I USE IT IS BECAUSE I
CAN CARRY IT ON THE AIRPLANE AND IT OPENS OUT LIKE THIS. AND I CAN CONTROL IT. LIKE, I'VE RECENTLY STARTED
READING "THE NEW YORK TIMES," AND IT'S JUST TOO BIG FOR ME! I OPEN IT ON THE AIRPLANE AND
IT'S LIKE AN "I LOVE LUCY" THING. IT GOES INTO THE AISLES. IT BLOCKS IT'S PILOT COMES ON
AND SAYS, "PUT THAT NEWSPAPER AWAY." IT JUST --
>> Stephen: YOU GET, LIKE, AN iPAD. YOU CAN READ IT ON YOUR PHONE
NOW OR LIKE AN iPAD-- >> DON'T BELIEVE IN IT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
IT'S NOT GOOD FOR YOU! >> Stephen: WELL, OKAY. LET'S TALK ABOUT A GOOD PROJECT
YOU HAVE HERE. IT'S CALLED "THE TOTALLY
UNSCIENTIFIC STUDY OF THE SEARCH FOR HUMAN HAPPINESS." >> CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION? JUST BEFORE YOU DID THAT, THERE
WAS, LIKE, A PIANO CHORD. WAS THAT SOME SORT OF RIEWSKY
SIGNAL YOU'RE GIVING YOURSELF THERE? WHAT IS THAT? >> Stephen: JON, WHY DID YOU
PLAY THAT PIANO CHORD? >> Jon: I FELT LIKE IT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> JON, YOU COME FROM JAZZ, DON'T YOU? >> Jon: YES. >> YEAH. THAT'S THING WITH THE JAZZ
MUSICIAN. THEY'LL JUST FEEL IT AND DO IT. DOESN'T MATTER WHEN. >> Stephen: THAT'S TRUE. >> THEY'LL JUST PICK UP A THING
AND BLOW INTO IT. ( LAUGHTER )
WEREN'T YOU BLOWING INTO, LIKE, A KEYBOARD THING BEFORE? >> Jon: YEAH, YEAH, IT'S LEAK
A HARMONICA KEYBOARD THING. >> OH, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BLOW! I JUST PICTURED YOUR MOM GOING,
"PUT THAT DOWN! THAT'S A KEYBOARD!"
( LAUGHTER ). >> Stephen: HE'S ALLOWED TO. >> YOU PROBABLY HYPERVENTILATED
BLOWING IN IT TO THE PIANO WHEN YOU WERE A KID. STOP BLOWING--
>> Jon: IT DON'T HAVE A HOLE THEY CAN GET TO, TO BLOW INTO
IT. OTHERWISE, I'D DO THAT, TOO. >> YOU WERE A LITTLE BOY. YOU COULD HAVE DRILLED ONE. THAT'S WHAT KIDS DO. "MOM I DRILLED A HOLE IN THE
PIANO SO I COULD BLOW IT!" SORRY. >> Stephen: GETTING BACK TO
THE BOOK. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) ANYTHING ULTIMATE TO SAY--
>> I DO, I DO. >> Stephen: WHAT IS YOUR
UNSCIENTIFIC SEARCH FOR HAPPINESS AND WHY DO YOU NEED TO
DO ONE? >> WELL, BECAUSE FOR SCIENCE,
FOR MANKIND. EVERY CHAPTER IN MY BOOK IS A
DIFFERENT EXPERIMENT DOING SOMETHING THAT I OR OTHER PEOPLE
THOUGHT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY. AND EACH CHAPTER IS WRITTEN AS A
SCIENCE EXPERIMENT. THERE'S THE HYPOTHESIS AND THE
CONDITIOCONDITIONS AND VARIABLES ON AND ON. BUT THE QUESTION FOR ME--
HOPEFULLY THE FUNNIEST FIELD NOTES EVER RIN BECAUSE IT'S
NUMBER ONE JOB IS TO BE FUNNY. BUT THE QUESTION FOR ME WASN'T
WEATHER DOING SOMETHING WOULD BE ENJOYABLE, BUT RATHER WHAT COULD
I DO THAT WOULD GIVE ME A LASTING UMBRELLA, IF YOU WILL,
FOR THE INEVITABLE RAINS OF ONE'S REGULAR LIFE. SO THE ANALYSIS SECTION OF EVERY
CHAPTER IS THE STORY OF ME AND MY REGULAR LIFE-- RAISING MY
KIDS IN A HOUSE FULL OF ANIMALS AND BEING A STAND-UP COMIC FOR A
LIVING-- WHICH I JUST FOUND OUT IS ONE OF THE LOW POINTS OF SHOW
BIZ. >> Stephen: COMEDY IS JUST NOT
RESPECTED. >> IT CAME TO ME IN THE DRESSING
ROOM. I WAS ALL EXCITED ABOUT MY JOB,
AND THEN I FOUND OUT, BOTTOM OF THE BARREL! ( LAUGHTER )
SOMEWHERE UNDERNEATH THE YOGURT. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WE'VE GOT TO GO,
UNFORTUNATELY. WE HAVE TO DO THE THING. >> WE HAVE TO GO-- USUALLY WHEN
YOU'RE GOING TO GO DIDN'T DOESN'T HE PLAY? DOESN'T HE BLOW INTO A BANJO OR
SOMETHING WHEN IT'S TIME TO GO NCHTD HE ONLY PLAYS WHEN HE
FEELS LIKE IT. >> THAT'S THE WEIRDEST-- YOU
NEVER KNOW WHEN HE'S GOING TO DO A CHORD. >> Stephen: NO, AND I LOVE IT. IT ALWAYS FITS IN MY OPINION. >> Jon: THAT'S WHY I GET PAID. >> THAT'S WHY HE GETS PAID. HE GETS PAID BY THE NOTES SO HE
JUST KEEPS SLIPPING IN NOTES. >> Stephen: "THE TOTALLY
UNSCIENTIFIC STUDY OF THE SEARCH FOR HUMAN HAPPINESS" IS
AVAILABLE NOW. PAULA POUNDSTONE, EVERYBODY. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THANK YOU, PAULA.
