>> AND IT JUST HIT ME:
NOW I KNOW THE ANSWER. I'VE KNOWN SOMETHING
WAS WRONG; THIS IS IT. A MAN IS SENDING MY
HUSBAND A ROMANTIC CARD. WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN? MY HUSBAND
WAS A MINISTER. ♪ ♪ >> WELCOME
TO "PURE PASSION." I'M JONATHAN DAUGHERTY. IN THE BOOK OF HEBREWS,
IT IS WRITTEN, HE HIMSELF HAS SAID, "I
WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER
FORSAKE YOU," SO THAT WE
CONFIDENTLY SAY, "THE LORD IS MY HELPER;
I WILL NOT BE AFRAID." OUR GUEST TODAY WAS
MARRIED FOR 14 YEARS WHEN ONE DAY
SHE DISCOVERED A NOTE FROM
HER HUSBAND'S LOVER. TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE, HER
HUSBAND WAS A MINISTER, AND THE NOTE,
IT WAS FROM A MAN. JOIN US AS
GINGER HAAN TELLS US ABOUT THE TWISTS AND TURNS
OF HER HUSBAND'S STRUGGLE, THE EFFECTS
ON HER FAMILY, AND WHAT GOD TAUGHT
HER THROUGH IT ALL. >> I HAD THE SENSE THAT
SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT, AND IT WASN'T THAT
AWARENESS AT THAT MOMENT. I'D SENSED IT
FOR SOME TIME, BUT IT KIND OF CULMINATED
RIGHT AROUND NOVEMBER, AROUND OUR
14TH ANNIVERSARY, AND I REMEMBER
GETTING ON THE CARPET OF THE LIVING ROOM
WHERE WE LIVED, AND I JUST
CRIED OUT TO GOD. I SAID,
"SOMETHING IS WRONG; "I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS,
BUT I GIVE MY LIFE TO YOU AND ASK FOR YOU TO
JUST TAKE CHARGE," BECAUSE I KNEW THAT I
NEEDED TO MAKE SOME CHANGES, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT
I NEEDED TO DO EITHER. I JUST KNEW THAT
THINGS WERE NOT RIGHT. I COULD TELL HE WAS
CLOSING UP ON SOMETHING, AND WHEN I WOULD ASK
HIM WHAT'S WRONG, HE WOULDN'T ANSWER. HE WOULD SAY,
"I NEED TO LEAVE AND GO DO
SUCH-AND-SUCH," AND YET I DIDN'T KNOW
WHERE HE WAS GOING. ABOUT TWO MONTHS LATER, I
WAS AT A PRAYER CONFERENCE, WENT TO SEVERAL
SESSIONS, AND AT THE VERY LAST
SESSION, THE TEACHER SAID, "OKAY, WE'VE LEARNED
A LOT ABOUT PRAYER. NOW I WANT YOU TO PUT
THIS INTO PRACTICE." AND I REMEMBER
KNEELING AND PRAYING, AND RIGHT AWAY, MY THOUGHTS
WENT TO MY HUSBAND. AND THEN GOD BROUGHT
THEM BACK TO, REMEMBER
A COUPLE MONTHS AGO WHEN YOU CAME TO
THE END OF YOURSELF, AND YOU WERE ASKING
ME TO DO SOMETHING. AND THESE WERE
THE WORDS HE SAID. HE SAID,
I'M TAKING CARE OF DON; YOU JUST GET
YOURSELF TOGETHER. I THOUGHT, I DIDN'T THINK
THAT; THAT MUST BE GOD. FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN 14 YEARS, HE'S SPEAKING TO ME ABOUT
MY MARRIAGE, MY HUSBAND. HE SAID HIS NAME, AND I'M
JUST TO GET MYSELF TOGETHER. AND IT'S LIKE
THIS HEAVY WEIGHT WAS ON MY SHOULDERS. IT JUST LIFTED OFF, AND I FELT THIS SMILE
COME ACROSS MY FACE THAT I DIDN'T HAVE
TO WORRY ANYMORE. AND IT WAS A FEW
MONTHS AFTER THAT-- BEFORE, ACTUALLY, RIGHT IN
THE MIDDLE OF THAT TIME, I WAS READING
IN THE BIBLE, MY EARLY MORNING DEVOTIONS
IN THE OLD TESTAMENT, AND AS SOON AS I
FINISHED A PASSAGE, THE THOUGHT CAME TO ME,
READ 1 CORINTHIANS 13. AND I KNEW THAT WAS
THE LOVE CHAPTER. SO I TURNED
TO THE LOVE CHAPTER, I READ IT,
AND I GOT TO VERSE 7, AND I HAD TO READ IT
TWO OR THREE TIMES. I FINISHED THE CHAPTER
AND WENT BACK TO VERSE 7, READING IN THE
LIVING BIBLE AT THAT TIME, AND VERSE 7 SAID--
IT PERSONALIZES IT-- IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE,
YOU WILL BE LOYAL TO HIM NO MATTER
WHAT THE COST. YOU WILL ALWAYS
BELIEVE IN HIM, ALWAYS EXPECT
THE BEST OF HIM, AND ALWAYS STAND YOUR
GROUND IN DEFENDING HIM. AND IT WAS
JUST LIKE, GOD, I KNOW THIS
IS A MESSAGE FROM YOU, AND YOU WANT ME TO LOVE
MY HUSBAND THAT WAY. I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN, BUT
YOU'LL HAVE TO HELP ME. IT WAS LIKE GOD
WAS PREPARING ME BECAUSE IT WAS JUST
A MONTH OR SO LATER, ON A SATURDAY MORNING, I WAS CLEANING
HOUSE ALL BY MYSELF, MY TWO SONS
WERE GONE, MY HUSBAND
WAS OUT OF THE HOUSE, AND HIS CALENDAR BOOK WAS
SITTING ON THE TABLE, AND I DID SOMETHING I'D
NEVER DONE; I OPENED IT. I WASN'T A SNOOP; I DIDN'T
ORDINARILY DO THESE THINGS. BUT I OPENED IT UP, AND THERE WAS AN
ENVELOPE WITH HIS NAME, AND IT LOOKED LIKE IT WAS
A CARD, SO I OPENED IT UP. THE FRONT PART OF IT
WAS VERY ROMANTIC. I THOUGHT SOME WOMAN
HAD SENT HIM A CARD AND THEN OPENED
THE CARD, AND THERE WAS A
MAN'S NAME ON THERE, AND IT JUST HIT ME:
NOW I KNOW THE ANSWER. I'VE KNOWN SOMETHING
WAS WRONG; THIS IS IT. A MAN IS SENDING MY
HUSBAND A ROMANTIC CARD. WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN? MY HUSBAND
WAS A MINISTER. HE WAS GONNA
LOSE HIS POSITION. WHAT WOULD HAPPEN
TO THE KIDS AND ME? EVERYTHING'S
GONNA FALL APART. I KNEW MY FUTURE WAS
JUST TOTALLY OVER, THE WAY I KNEW IT
AT THAT POINT, AND IT WAS
DEVASTATING. I CRUMBLED
TO THE FLOOR. OF COURSE I CRIED,
AND I JUST SAID, "GOD,
WHAT DO I DO NOW?" I DID CONFRONT MY HUSBAND,
TOLD HIM WHAT I HAD FOUND, AND WE ENDED UP,
THE EVENING, BY HIM CONFESSING, TELLING
WHAT HE'D GONE THROUGH AS A CHILD,
AS A TEENAGER, HOW HE HAD CRIED OUT TO GOD
TO TAKE AWAY THESE FEELINGS, AND HE SAID THEY WOULD
DISAPPEAR FOR A WHILE, BUT THEY WOULD
ALWAYS COME BACK, AND HE THOUGHT THAT
GETTING MARRIED WOULD CURE HIM. FOUND OUT
THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN, AND HE COULDN'T
TALK TO ME ABOUT IT. HE WAS AFRAID,
AND HE SAID, "GINGER, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED
YOU TO BE MY BEST FRIEND." AND WE FELL ASLEEP
IN EACH OTHER'S ARMS, THINKING, OKAY, NOW
WE CAN BEGIN ANEW. SADLY, IT WASN'T THE END
OF THE FAIRY TALE. ♪ >> RESTORED HOPE NETWORK IS
A COALITION OF MINISTRIES SERVING THOSE WHO
DESIRE TO OVERCOME SINFUL RELATIONAL AND SEXUAL
ISSUES IN THEIR LIVES AND THOSE IMPACTED
BY SUCH BEHAVIOR, PARTICULARLY
HOMOSEXUALITY. RHN CONNECTS
THOSE SEEKING HELP WITH LOCAL MEMBER MINISTRIES
AND OTHER RESOURCES. EVEN AS THE CULTURE EMBRACES
DISTORTED EXPRESSIONS OF GENDER, SEXUALITY,
AND RELATIONSHIPS, RHN AFFIRMS GOD'S
UNCHANGING HOPE AND TRUTH THAT JESUS CHRIST
TRANSFORMS THE LIVES OF ALL
WHO SEEK HIM. VISIT
RESTOREDHOPENETWORK.ORG. >> WHAT DO YOU DO
WHEN HOMOSEXUALITY COMES KNOCKING
ON YOUR DOOR? JOE DALLAS HAS WRITTEN
AN EXCELLENT BOOK THAT ANSWERS THAT VERY
IMPORTANT QUESTION. IT'S CALLED "WHEN
HOMOSEXUALITY HITS HOME: WHAT TO DO WHEN A LOVED
ONE SAYS THEY'RE GAY." JOE GIVES PRACTICAL
STEP-BY-STEP ADVICE ON HOW TO DEAL WITH THE
MANY CONFLICTS AND EMOTIONS EXPERIENCED BY
PARENTS, GRANDPARENTS, SIBLINGS, AND EXTENDED
FAMILY MEMBERS WHEN THEY LEARN OF A LOVED
ONE'S HOMOSEXUAL STRUGGLE. "WHEN HOMOSEXUALITY
HITS HOME" IS AVAILABLE
AT PUREPASSION.US. >> THINGS
WENT PRETTY WELL IN TERMS
OF OUR COMMUNICATION AND LOVE AND ALL OF
THAT FOR A WEEK OR TWO, AND THEN I NOTICED
SOME DISTANCING AGAIN. AND THAT CONTINUED, AND IT'S LIKE THERE WAS
A GIANT MAGNET OUT THERE, JUST PULLING HIM
FROM US. AND HE WOULD
FIND REASONS TO GO BACK TO THE CHURCH
TO WORK, YOU KNOW, THINGS THAT WOULD TAKE HIM
AWAY FROM THE HOME AGAIN, AND HE DID ASK ME, "GINGER, WILL YOU PLEASE NOT
DISCLOSE THIS TO ANYONE? I'M GOING
TO GET SOME HELP." BECAUSE THAT NIGHT,
I DID SAY TO HIM, "YOU HAVE
TO MAKE A CHOICE." AND HE SAID, "I REALLY
DON'T WANT TO GO OUT THERE. "I WANT YOU;
I WANT MY CHILDREN; "I WANT MY MINISTRY. "I DON'T WANT
ANYTHING TO CHANGE, SO I WILL GET HELP." AND WHEN I WOULD
QUESTION HIM ABOUT WHAT KIND OF HELP
OR WHO HE'S SEEING, HE WAS ALWAYS
HESITANT ABOUT IT. HE WOULD LIE AND SAY WHO
HE WAS SEEING OR ANYTHING, BUT HE HADN'T YET,
THAT KIND OF THING. AND I REMEMBER
ONE DAY WHEN I WAS GETTING
DISCOURAGED, OF COURSE, BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT I'D
SEE MORE CHANGE MORE QUICKLY AND WE'D HAVE BETTER
COMMUNICATION, AND I'D HAD MY
MORNING DEVOTIONS, AND I WALKED
INTO THE BATHROOM, FLIPPED ON THE LIGHT, AND
I LOOKED IN THE MIRROR, AND THESE WORDS
CAME TO ME: I HAVE HEALED DON; THE
PROGRESS WILL BE SLOW. AND I THOUGHT, WHAT
DOES THAT MEAN? I DIDN'T KNOW, REALLY,
MUCH ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY, AND WHEN GOD SAID THE
PROGRESS WILL BE SLOW, HOW SLOW? SO I THOUGHT, I'LL GIVE
HIM A COUPLE YEARS. TO ME, THAT
WAS A LONG TIME. AND IT WAS
SOME TIME LATER WHEN I SAW THINGS
UNRAVEL EVEN MORE. THAT ONE MORNING I
WAS MAKING THE BED-- IT WAS
ON A SATURDAY MORNING. I REMEMBER LIFTING THE
SHEET UP IN THE AIR, AND IT WAS
A MOMENTARY QUESTION: WILL YOU
STAY WITH DON? AND I THOUGHT, WHY
WOULD GOD ASK A WIFE TO STAY WITH HER HUSBAND
IF IT WAS GOING TO BE GOOD? THAT MEANS IT MUST
BE GETTING WORSE. I SAID, "GOD, I LOVE HIM,
BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO HELP ME. I CAN'T DO THIS
MYSELF." AND IT WAS
JUST SO MOMENTARY. I REMEMBER THE SHEET KIND
OF LOWERING ONTO THE BED, AND I COULD JUST FEEL
THE HOT TEARS COMING DOWN AS I SAID THAT, AND I KNEW THAT GOD WAS
GOING TO DO SOMETHING. AND SO I HAD TO HOLD ON TO
WHAT HE HAD TOLD ME BEFORE: I HAVE HEALED DON. IN MY MIND, I HAD TO SEE
HIM HEALED IN SOME WAY. IT WAS SOME YEARS
DOWN THE ROAD THAT I REALIZED
HE MEANT A SPIRITUAL,
EMOTIONAL HEALING. WE DID GO INTO A COUNSELOR
AT ONE POINT TOGETHER, AND AFTER A COUPLE
OF SESSIONS, HE WAS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE
BECAUSE HE KEPT THINKING, OKAY, THIS IS
ALL ABOUT ME, AND GINGER'S GONNA JUST
GET EVERYTHING OUT, AND I'M THE ONE THAT HAS
TO MAKE ALL THE CHANGES. WE DIDN'T HAVE A GOOD
COMMUNICATION TO BEGIN WITH, AND WE THOUGHT THIS
WOULD HELP IN IT. WE NEEDED TO STAY WITH
THE PROGRAM AND DID NOT, BUT HE SAID HE WOULD
CONTINUE TO GET HELP. THIS WENT ON FOR ABOUT
FIVE YEARS OF TRYING, AND FINALLY,
HE GAVE UP. HE SAID, "I CAN'T
DO THIS ANYMORE." HE LEFT THE MINISTRY;
HE LEFT OUR FAMILY. AND SO THAT
WAS FIVE YEARS. TWO YEARS LATER, I CAME
HOME FROM WORK ONE DAY, AND THERE HE WAS,
SITTING ON MY COUCH. WE'D BEEN SEPARATED
FOR TWO YEARS. WE HAD CONTACT MAYBE ONCE
EVERY THREE OR FOUR MONTHS ON THE PHONE. AND DURING THAT TIME, ALL
I DID WAS PRAY FOR HIM. WHEN I'D TALK WITH HIM,
IT WAS IN A LOVING MANNER. I DID WHAT I COULD
TO SHOW HIM LOVE. AND THE DAY I CAME HOME AND
HE WAS SITTING ON MY COUCH, HE SAYS, "THIS
MORNING, I GOT UP, "AND I WAS
READY TO BOLT. "I WAS GONNA GO
TO ANOTHER STATE. I WOULD NEVER SEE YOU
OR THE BOYS AGAIN." BUT HE SAID, "A VOICE CAME
TO ME AND SAID, 'GO HOME,' AND IT JUST KEPT REPEATING,
'GO HOME; GO HOME.'" SO HE SAID,
"GINGER, I'M HOME. I DON'T KNOW IF
YOU WANT ME HERE." AND I SAID, "I DO," AND
THEN WE STARTED AGAIN. AND OF COURSE A LOT
OF THINGS HAPPENED IN THOSE SEVEN YEARS,
MAINLY IN HERE. GOD WAS PREPARING ME
TO HAVE HIM COME BACK BECAUSE HE SHOWED ME THAT
HIS SINS OF THE FLESH WERE EQUAL TO MY
SINS OF THE HEART, AND I HAD NO CLUE
WHAT GOD MEANT WHEN HE LET ME KNOW,
SOME YEARS BEFORE, THAT MY SINS WERE AS UGLY
IN HIS SIGHT AS DON'S SINS. AND I DIDN'T
UNDERSTAND THAT, AND HE WAS SHOWING
ME MY ATTITUDE, MY SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS,
MY PRIDE, MY RESENTMENT,
MY SELF-PITY, ALL OF THOSE THINGS
THAT NOBODY SAW, BUT THEY WERE PART
OF WHO I WAS. AND I HAD TO WORK
ON THOSE ISSUES, THOSE AREAS
OF MY OWN LIFE, SO THAT WHEN
HE CAME HOME, THEN WE WERE ABLE TO
PUT THINGS BACK TOGETHER MORE EASILY
FROM MY STANDPOINT. I WASN'T JUDGING HIM ALL
THE TIME LIKE I HAD BEFORE. OUR TWO SONS
WERE AGES 7 AND 12 WHEN THIS
ALL FIRST STARTED. AND SO
SEVEN YEARS LATER, THEY WERE
SEVEN YEARS OLDER, AND THEY SAW
WHAT WAS HAPPENING, AND NOT THAT WE SAT
DOWN TO A FAMILY TIME AND ALL TALKED
OPENLY ABOUT IT, BUT THERE
WERE THINGS THAT WERE DROPPED AND
SAID HERE AND THERE. BUT THEY HAD THEIR
OWN REACTIONS. MY OLDER SON, IN FACT,
WENT INTO A GAY LIFESTYLE. HE WAS HIGH SCHOOL
AND THEN COLLEGE, AND HE WOULD WORK
DOWNTOWN AT NIGHT CLEANING BANKS
AND THINGS, AND THEN HE WOULD
BE GONE ALL NIGHT. HE WAS GOING TO A
COMMUNITY COLLEGE. AND MY YOUNGER SON GOT
IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW AND JUST--
NOT OPENLY REBELLED, BUT JUST
IT AFFECTED HIM BECAUSE HE WAS VERY
CLOSE TO HIS DAD. AND SO THEY BOTH
FELT THE REJECTION AND REACTED
ACCORDINGLY. MY OLDER SON... HE SHOWED SIGNS WHEN
HE WAS A PRESCHOOLER, SOME EFFEMINACY KINDS
OF THINGS, SENSITIVITY, AND I DIDN'T PICK
UP ON IT THAT MUCH, OTHER THAN THE FACT THAT
I NOTICED, IN PRESCHOOL, HE WOULD RATHER BE
PLAYING IN THE HOUSE, RATHER THAN
GOING OUTSIDE AND PLAYING TRUCKS
WITH THE OTHER BOYS. AND I TALKED TO HIS
PEDIATRICIAN ABOUT IT, AND HE SAYS, "I DON'T
SEE A PROBLEM WITH THAT." HE SAID, "IF HE'S
10 OR 12 YEARS OLD "AND HE'S STILL WANTING
TO PLAY WITH DOLLS, THEN WE
HAVE AN ISSUE." I TALKED TO A PARENT,
WHO WAS A SCHOOLTEACHER AND SHE HAD TWO SONS THAT
WERE OLDER, AND SHE SAID, "OH, MY BOYS WENT THROUGH
THAT TOO, GINGER." SO IT'S LIKE THEY DISMISSED
THAT THERE WAS ANY PROBLEM. BUT I THINK
MY HUSBAND UNCONSCIOUSLY
SAW THE PROBLEM BECAUSE MAYBE HE
WAS THE SAME WAY WHEN HE
WAS THAT AGE, AND AS A RESULT, HE
REJECTED HIS SON. HE DIDN'T KNOW
HOW TO SHOW HIM GENUINE AFFECTION,
ATTENTION. JUST THERE WAS A COOLNESS
BETWEEN HIM AND HIS SON. AND IT WAS SLOW,
BUT STEADY PROGRESS AS FAR AS
GETTING SOME HELP, AS FAR AS GETTING
BACK INTO CHURCH. OUR COMMUNICATION, WE WERE
TRYING TO DO THAT BETTER. HE WAS EXPECTING
OUR SONS, WHO HAD WANDERED AWAY
FROM THEIR FAITH, WOULD COME BACK
RIGHT AWAY BECAUSE, AFTER ALL,
DAD'S HOME NOW, AND IT
DIDN'T HAPPEN. WE ACTUALLY WAITED ANOTHER
SEVEN YEARS FOR THEM. THE OLDEST ONE,
AT THAT POINT, WAS WORKING
IN SAN FRANCISCO, AND HE WORKED
IN A SMALL SHOP, AND IT TURNS OUT
THAT HIS BOSS WAS THIS LITTLE,
RADICAL, SPITFIRE LADY WHO SAID, "I'D LIKE YOU
TO COME OVER TO MY HOUSE," AND SHE HAD
A HOUSE CHURCH. AND HE CAME
BACK TO THE LORD, LIVING
IN SAN FRANCISCO. I REMEMBER HE
CALLED ON A MONDAY AND SAID, "MOM AND DAD,
I NEED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I CAME BACK
TO GOD LAST NIGHT." AND SO THAT WAS
EXCITING FOR US, AND THEN HE SAID,
"CAN I MOVE BACK HOME?" AND WE LIVED IN SACRAMENTO,
SO THAT WASN'T TOO FAR, BUT HE SAYS, "I WANT
TO GO BACK TO COLLEGE, GET MY DEGREE,"
AND WE SAID SURE. OUR YOUNGER SON HAD GONE
INTO DRUGS AND ALCOHOL, AND WE TOOK HIM
TO TEEN CHALLENGE TO SEE IF HE WOULD
QUALIFY FOR THEIR PROGRAM. AND HE QUALIFIED,
BUT THEY SAID, "YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU
HAVE TO WAIT SIX WEEKS. "WE WANT TO MAKE SURE
THIS IS YOUR DECISION TO COME HERE
TO GET HELP." AND FROM WEEK TO
WEEK, WE WEREN'T SURE. SOMETIMES HE WOULD
GO IN THE BATHROOM, HE'D LOCK THE DOOR, BE IN
THERE TWO OR THREE HOURS, AND I'D KEEP KNOCKING,
"JASON, ARE YOU THERE?" IT WAS SCARY BECAUSE WE DIDN'T KNOW
IF HE WOULD OVERDOSE. YOU GO THROUGH
THOSE PANGS, YOUR EMOTIONS OF WHAT'S
GONNA HAPPEN TO YOUR CHILD. AND FINALLY,
HE WAS ACCEPTED INTO TEEN CHALLENGE
SIX WEEKS LATER. HE DID CALL THEM
EVERY WEEK, EVEN THOUGH WE WEREN'T
SURE IF HE WAS. AND HE WENT
INTO TEEN CHALLENGE, AND WITHIN
THE FIRST FEW WEEKS, WE LEARNED
THAT HIS BEST FRIEND HAD TAKEN HIS OWN LIFE
BACK AT HOME HERE. AND HAVING
TO LET HIM KNOW-- WE COULDN'T TALK
TO HIM RIGHT AWAY BECAUSE THEY HAD REAL
RESTRICTIONS ON THEM, BUT WE EVENTUALLY
LET HIM KNOW, AND THAT WAS
DEVASTATING TO HIM. BUT HE REALIZED HE
WAS IN A SAFE PLACE, AND IT WAS TOUGH BECAUSE IT WAS KIND
OF A LOCKDOWN FOR HIM. BUT HE SAID, "I DON'T
HAVE ANYWHERE ELSE TO GO. I HAVE TO STAY HERE." AND HE WENT THROUGH THE
PROGRAM FOR ALMOST A YEAR. HE CAME OUT A CHANGED BOY--
A CHANGED MAN. AT THAT POINT,
I BELIEVE HE WAS 20--21. HE WAS TURNING 21. HIS DAD, A WEEK
LATER, TURNED 50, SO WE HAD A DOUBLE
BIRTHDAY PARTY, INVITED ABOUT
75 OR 80 PEOPLE, AND IT WAS JUST
A WONDERFUL REUNION FOR ALL
OF OUR FAMILY. ♪ >> WOULD YOU LIKE CLARITY ON
THE ISSUE OF HOMOSEXUALITY, WHAT CAUSES IT, AND HOW
GOD BRINGS PEOPLE OUT OF IT? "SUCH WERE SOME OF YOU" IS AN AWARD-WINNING
DOCUMENTARY THAT DELIVERS
SUCH CLARITY. IT'S AN INVALUABLE RESOURCE
FOR EVERY BELIEVER, CHURCH, OR MINISTRY. TWENTY-NINE FORMER
HOMOSEXUALS BEAR WITNESS TO THE POWER OF GOD
TO TRANSFORM ANYONE. >> LADY GAGA, SHUT UP;
I WAS NOT BORN THIS WAY. >> THEY KNOW THAT I WAS
STUCK IN THE SAME STRUGGLE THAT THEY WERE STUCK IN,
BUT I AM FREE. >> WE'VE ALSO PRODUCED
A SECOND DOCUMENTARY THAT SHOWS FAMILY MEMBERS
HOW TO RESPOND TO THEIR HOMOSEXUAL
LOVED ONE. IT'S CALLED "HOW DO YOU LIKE
ME NOW: WHEN A CHILD, PARENT, SPOUSE, OR SIBLING
SAYS THEY'RE GAY." >> I SAT MY PARENTS DOWN
FOR THE FIRST TIME. THEY STILL HAD NO CLUE
WHAT WAS GOING ON, AND I SAID, I'M GAY,
I'M HIV POSITIVE. HOW DO YOU
LIKE ME NOW? >> GET BOTH TEACHING
RESOURCES ON DVD AT OUR ONLINE STORE
BY VISITING... >> HE WAS LIVING
THE PROPER LIFE, BUT HE STILL STRUGGLED
WITH TEMPTATIONS, AND I KNOW THERE WERE
TIMES WHEN HE FELL, AND THEN HE
WOULD COME BACK, AND WE'D PUT THINGS
BACK TOGETHER. AND HE DID GO TO FRANK
WORTHEN'S PROGRAM. NOT EVERY WEEK. I WISH HE WOULD HAVE BEEN
MORE STEADY WITH THAT, BUT HE DID GO, AND
WE ALSO STARTED A LOCAL PROGRAM
THAT HE WENT TO, AND SO HE GOT
PROPER HELP. HE DID SOMETHING VERY
UNCHARACTERISTIC, BECAUSE HE ALWAYS HAD SAID,
"I'M A VERY PRIVATE PERSON." BUT AT ONE POINT,
HE SAID, "GINGER, GOD HAS
BEEN TALKING TO ME ABOUT GOING PUBLIC
WITH MY TESTIMONY." HE SAID, "I WANT YOU AND I
TO TALK WITH OUR PASTOR." SO WE WENT AND
TALKED TO OUR PASTOR. OUR PASTOR DIDN'T
HAVE ANY CLUE WHAT HAD GONE ON
IN DON'S LIFE BECAUSE WE HAD MOVED,
INTERIM, AND WERE IN A NEW SITUATION,
NEW STATE, NEW PLACE. AND SO HE TALKED
WITH THE PASTOR, AND THE PASTOR SAID,
"I KNOW THAT YOUR SONS "HAVE GONE
THROUGH A LOT. "THEY'VE COME
BACK TO THE LORD. "AND GINGER, I KNOW YOU'VE
GONE THROUGH SOME STUFF TOO. "WHY DON'T
ALL FOUR OF YOU SHARE YOUR COLLECTIVE
TESTIMONY ON THANKSGIVING?" WE HAD
A THANKSGIVING SERVICE. AND SO THAT'S
WHAT WE DID, STARTING WITH OUR BOYS
AND THEN DON AND MYSELF. AND THE PEOPLE, THEY
GAVE A STANDING OVATION. THEY WERE SO WARM AND
LOVING AND ACCEPTING. AND WE ALL TOOK
COMMUNION TOGETHER, AND WE STARTED A
MINISTRY, HOPE MINISTRY, THERE AT THE CHURCH. IT BECAME A SUNDAY
SCHOOL CLASS, ACTUALLY, WITH BOTH
FAMILY MEMBERS AND A COUPLE OF PEOPLE THAT
ACTUALLY WERE STRUGGLERS. AND SO IT WAS
A REAL TURNAROUND. I'M ON THE BOARD OF
WAITING ROOM MINISTRY IN PHOENIX, ARIZONA, AND WE HAVE NEW
PARENTS ALL THE TIME. THIS LAST MONTH, WE
HAD PARENTS COME IN WHO HAVE
A TRANSGENDER DAUGHTER, AND THAT IS BECOMING
MORE AND MORE PREVALENT, AND OF COURSE
WITH BRUCE JENNER AND OTHER
FAMOUS PEOPLE COMING OUT WITH THEIR
TRANSGENDERISM, IT WILL
PROBABLY GROW. AT LEAST, THE PUBLIC
WILL SEE MORE OF THAT. THAT'S NEW FOR THE REST
OF US, ALTHOUGH WE SEE SOME OF THE SAME
TYPES OF COMPONENTS, IN TERMS OF WHAT THE
CHILD IS GOING THROUGH, AND THEN INTO ADULTHOOD,
SOME OF THE SAME THINGS AS THOSE WHO STRUGGLE
WITH SAME-SEX ATTRACTION AS HAVE--AS WELL AS
TRANSGENDER. THEY BOTH HAVE SOME OF
THE SAME ROOT PROBLEMS. ONE MOTHER THAT I HAVE
PERSONALLY BEEN COUNSELING FOR ABOUT A YEAR ISN'T QUITE READY
TO LET GO. BY NOT LETTING GO, THAT MEANS SHE CHECKS
INTO HER SON'S FACEBOOK. SEE, HE WAS UNDERAGE, SO SHE FEELS LIKE,
I CAN DO WHAT I CAN DO. BUT IT'S
ALMOST MEDDLING. IT'S ALMOST
TOO MUCH, HOVERING OVER AND
TRYING TO LET HIM KNOW THAT SHE'S AWARE OF
EVERYTHING HE'S DOING, AND THAT'S NOT
BEING HELPFUL TO HIM BECAUSE THAT MIGHT MAKE
HIM REBEL EVEN MORE. LETTING GO, I REALIZE
THAT'S AN AGE THING. ONCE THEY'RE 18, THEY CAN
MAKE DECISIONS ON THEIR OWN, AND THAT'S WHEN
YOU NEED TO START, OKAY, I HAVE TO LET GO
OF THE APRON STRINGS; GOD THE HOLY SPIRIT IS THE ONE THAT HAS
TO DEAL WITH THEM. WHEN MY HUSBAND
CAME HOME, IT WASN'T BECAUSE I WAS DOING OR
SAYING ANYTHING TO HIM. IT WAS THE HOLY SPIRIT THAT
TOLD HIM TO COME BACK HOME, SO I KNOW THAT THAT'S
AN IMPORTANT ELEMENT THAT PARENTS HAVE TO
COME TO THAT DECISION THAT IT'S NOT
SOMETHING THEY CAN DO. IN FACT, IF ANYTHING,
THEY SHOULD BE PRAYING THAT SOMEONE ELSE WILL
REACH THEIR CHILD. WHAT DO I DO? WHAT THEY MEAN IS, WHAT
DO I DO TO MAKE MY CHILD TURN AROUND AND GO
THE RIGHT DIRECTION? OR A WIFE: WHAT DO I
DO TO GET MY HUSBAND? THAT'S WHAT WE MEAN WHEN
WE SAY, WHAT DO I DO? AND FROM MY OWN EXPERIENCE,
FROM WHAT GOD TAUGHT ME, IS THAT, FIRST OF ALL,
I HAVE TO LOOK INSIDE, AND I HAVE TO SEE
IF THERE ARE THINGS THAT I NEED
TO CHANGE ABOUT ME, BECAUSE IF I'M STILL
THIS SAME PERSON AND THAT PERSON TURNS
THEIR LIFE AROUND, AM I GONNA STILL BE THAT SAME JUDGMENTAL
PERSON TOWARD THEM? THEY NEED TO SEE
LOVE EMANATING, TRUE LOVE
EMANATING FROM ME. AND IN SOME CASES--LIKE MY
HUSBAND HAD GOTTEN SO FAR, IT'S LIKE HE LOST FAITH IN
GOD, LOST FAITH IN PRAYER, AND SO I BECAME, IN A SENSE,
THE PERSON WHO REPRESENTED WHO GOD WAS, WHO JESUS
WAS, TO HIM FOR A WHILE. AND SO THE LORD JUST HAD
TO LIVE HIS LIFE THROUGH ME AND LET MY HUSBAND
SEE THAT. AND I THINK IT'S
IMPORTANT FOR US TO NOT BE POINTING THE
FINGER AT THE OTHER PERSON, WHETHER IT'S OUR
CHILD OR OUR SPOUSE, BUT ASKING GOD SINCERELY,
WHAT DO I NEED TO DO-- WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO
DO IN THIS SITUATION? AND HE WILL BEGIN
SHOWING YOU, AND HE'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO SHOW THE LOVE
TO THAT LOVED ONE. HE'LL SHOW YOU THOSE
AREAS OF YOUR LIFE WHERE YOU NEED
TO MAKE CHANGES. THAT'S THE ONE THING
I'VE HEARD PARENTS WHO ARE DOWN THE ROAD--
THEY SAY, "OH, I NEVER WANT "TO SEE THIS HAPPEN
TO SOMEBODY ELSE, "BUT I WOULDN'T TRADE "WHAT HAS HAPPENED
IN HERE FOR ME "SINCE THIS
DID HAPPEN TO ME. I'M NOT
THE SAME PERSON I WAS." AND THAT'S VITAL THAT
THEY'RE NOT THE SAME PERSON THEY WERE WHEN THEY
STARTED THIS JOURNEY, AND FOR SOME--YOU KNOW,
PARENTS WANT QUICK FIXES. IF THEY COME TO
OUR SUPPORT GROUP AND THEY HEAR A PARENT
THAT THEIR CHILD'S BEEN IN THE LIFESTYLE
FOR MANY YEARS, IT'S DISCOURAGING
TO THE NEW ONES. THEY DON'T WANT TO WAIT
SIX, TEN, EIGHT YEARS. YOU HAVE TO BE
REALISTIC. GOD COULD TURN AROUND
YOUR CHILD TOMORROW. SOMETHING COULD HAPPEN A
COUPLE OF YEARS FROM NOW THAT THEY'LL SEE THE LIGHT
AND COME BACK HOME. BUT IT MAY BE YEARS
DOWN THE ROAD TOO. YOU DON'T KNOW, AND THAT'S WHERE YOU HAVE
TO PUT YOUR TRUST IN GOD. IT'S LIKE THE
PRODIGAL SON'S FATHER. HE DIDN'T KNOW WHEN HIS
SON WAS COMING HOME, BUT HE EXPECTED HIM. HE WENT DOWN THAT ROAD EVERY
DAY LOOKING FOR HIS SON. AND IF WE HAVE THAT
SENSE OF EXPECTANCY-- GOD, SOME DAY, YOU'RE GOING
TO BRING MY CHILD BACK HOME, HOME TO YOU, HOME TO
US, TO FAITH IN YOU-- THEN THAT'S WHAT HAS TO
SUSTAIN YOU IN THE MEANTIME. I LIKE
2 CORINTHIANS 1 BECAUSE IT SAYS YOU'RE
GOING THROUGH SOMETHING AND THE HOLY SPIRIT
IS THERE TO MINISTER TO YOU,
TO COMFORT YOU, AND THE HOLY SPIRIT
TEACHES YOU THINGS. WHY? SO THAT YOU CAN,
IN TURN, COMFORT OTHERS. AND SO WHEN PEOPLE
SAY, "WHY IN THE WORLD DID YOU GO INTO THIS
KIND OF MINISTRY?" IT'S BECAUSE THE HOLY
SPIRIT DID SOMETHING IN HERE THAT I CAN'T
KEEP TO MYSELF. I HAVE TO SHARE IT
WITH OTHERS. WHETHER IT'S ONE PERSON,
A SMALL GROUP, A HUGE AUDITORIUM,
ANY AMOUNT OF PEOPLE, I WANT THEM TO KNOW
THAT GOD ANSWERS PRAYER, THAT THINGS THAT MIGHT
SEEM IMPOSSIBLE TO OTHERS, IT ISN'T IMPOSSIBLE
WITH GOD. I REMEMBER WHEN MY HUSBAND
AND I WERE SEPARATED AND I HAD TWO OR THREE
WELL-MEANING FRIENDS SAY, "GINGER, YOU KNOW
I THINK IT'S TIME "FOR YOU TO GET
ON WITH YOUR LIFE. "YOU SHOULD FILE FOR
DIVORCE OR LEGAL SEPARATION, "MOVE SOMEWHERE ELSE, MOVE
BACK WITH YOUR FAMILY, TAKE YOUR KIDS
AWAY FROM HERE." AND I SAID, "BUT THAT'S
NOT WHAT GOD TOLD ME. "HE TOLD ME, YEARS AGO,
I HAVE HEALED DON, AND I HAVE
TO HOLD ONTO THAT." AND IT'S AFTER WE
GOT BACK TOGETHER THAT WE RAN INTO
ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE, AND HE SAID,
"GINGER, I REMEMBER "THE ADVICE I GAVE YOU,
AND YOU WERE RIGHT. GOD WAS FAITHFUL TO
HEAL YOUR HUSBAND." >> I HOPE YOU
WERE ENCOURAGED BY GINGER'S TESTIMONY. WHAT A GREAT EXAMPLE
OF CHRIST'S LOVE! ISN'T IT AMAZING HOW
FAITHFUL OUR LORD JESUS IS? WHEN YOU'RE OBEDIENT
TO THE CALLING THAT GOD HAS PLACED
ON YOUR LIFE, HE WILL BLESS YOU
AND SEE YOU THROUGH THE DARK
VALLEYS OF YOUR JOURNEY. HE WILL USE YOU
MIGHTILY, JUST AS HE HAS
SAINTS OF THE PAST, FOR WE ARE
HIS WORKMANSHIP, CREATED IN CHRIST
JESUS FOR GOOD WORKS, WHICH GOD PREPARED
BEFOREHAND SO THAT WE
WOULD WALK IN THEM. STUDY GOD'S WORD. LET HIM LEAD YOU,
AS HE DID GINGER. AND THANK YOU FOR
WATCHING "PURE PASSION." I'M JONATHAN DAUGHERTY. >> ♪ RENEW A RIGHT SPIRIT
DEEP IN ME. ♪ ♪ SET ME FREE, ♪ ♪ FREE TO LIVE
WITH PURE PASSION, ♪ ♪ LIVING FOR YOUR WILL
AND NOTHING MORE, ♪ ♪ WITH PASSION
FOR YOU, LORD. ♪♪ <font color="#FF0000"> CompuScripts Captioning
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