Pastor Tim Dilena - Hope Is Here | How to Have Hard Conversations

listen let's finish our series called hope is here I'm so excited I this has kind of been marinating for me for a little bit and I want to share something with you there's gonna be more instructive than anything else but I think it has some value for everyone that's here he's the third wealthiest man in the world and everybody knows Warren Buffett he is a billionaire eighty times over his influence is felt in so many different ways from philanthropy and so many different things made all of his money in investments he was doing a college graduation and when he was doing at the end he had that he met with some of the students and some of the students asked them his this question they just said us going into the financial world and us getting ready to go into the business world what advice would you give us hear your this old you've done so many things would you give us the most important piece of advice that we could have going into it and it would you'd be surprised you what Warren Buffett said let me read to his words he says one easy way to become worth 50% more than you are now at least is to hone your communication skills if you can't communicate it's like winking at a girl in the dark nothing happens you can have all the brainpower in the world but you've got to be able to communicate it and that is so important because what you're trying to do is to try to transmit a message you can know everything but if you don't know how to say it literally it becomes a problem in fact that's why I feel like Bernard Shaw really kind of had a bead on it when he said these words the single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place and this is what makes this so challenging for us today and this is the ground that we want to cover in our hope is here series I have someone sent me this whole thing talk about the illusion of communication and someone sent me I don't know because they thought I was a senior they thought I was old but they sent me a whole thing on the way a senior looks at Facebook today in social media and in fact it was it was simply called for those of my generation who do not cannot and will not comprehend why Facebook exists this is what they wrote I'm trying to make friends out side of Facebook but applying Facebook principles so therefore every day I walk down my street and I tell the passer buys what I have eaten how I feel at the moment what I've done the night before and who I will do it with later I talked to just strangers and I give them my pictures of my family my dog and me gardening I take things apart and in the garage and take pictures of myself so they can see me working on things in the garage what I'm drinking at Starbucks driving around town having lunch with other people that they don't even know I've also listened to the conversations of strangers and they give them thumbs up and I say I like them and I do and I figure it out it works just like Facebook I already have four people following me two police officers a private investigator and a psychiatrist following me is what I have this person needs definitely some help let me just tell you this I want to deal with something today because this is what we could have probably helped our Facebook friend with is I want to deal with you and how to have a hard conversation I want to talk to you about how to have a hard conversation keep this in mind every relationship will face hard conversations because all of us are flawed all of us have issues and so any conversation any relationship that have any value the friendships that last get through hard conversations husbands and wives why parents and children sibling and sibling coworkers best friends keep this in mind hard conversations are inevitable but happily ever after is not inevitable and when this isn't done right we find ourselves in a real predicament thinking what went wrong and just because your friendship listen to this for just a moment just because your friendship your marriage you and your children face a conversational obstacle or hurdle doesn't mean that there's a problem in the in the relation it really means that the relationship has value because anything that has value listen to me clothes will have hurdles anything that's valuable will have obstacles in the way I love what one man said he said if you find a path with no obstacles it probably doesn't go anywhere which is really the truth anything of value is always gonna have to be work that we do this that's why always remember the more important the relationship the greater potential for growth and depth when we do have hard conversations correctly when we do the hard conversations right there is depth there is growth in those relationships but here's the problem don't miss this now this is really important the trouble with most of us is we would rather listen to me be ruined by praise than be saved by correction we would rather be ruined by praise hearing everybody praise us and tell us how wonderful we are instead of being saved by correction I have to tell you I was been so thankful I this is the first time I'm preaching in the last two weeks we had Michelle Laurens and then Japan so Jacob Moran's I feel like I have to introduce myself my name is Tim and I work here so let me just say this to you and pastor Jacob when I think of Miss Michelle and pastor Jacob and how valuable they are let me just tell you this I mean I just read if there is anybody that can praise and encourage it's Pastor Jacob and Michelle but I want you to listen to me and if there's anybody that can correct it's pastor Jacob and Michelle and I want to tell you something I am a better man today because of their Corrections I am a better man today and I am I am indebted to them not by their praise I am indebted to them by their Corrections because praise doesn't make me a better man correction does and I'll show you that even scripturally because some of you were going like wait a second you guys keep saying he's your best friend and you're his best friend best friends don't do that you ready for this proverbs 27 5 a truly good friend will openly correct you you can trust the friend who corrects you and that's why I'm indebted to pastor Jacob and so thankful for the hard conversations that we've even had together and that's why communication in hard conversations is really one of the most difficult things about each month one of the things that I'll try to do is find myself going back to the Harvard Business Review just to kind of read there's some updates and just helping me in leadership and one of the things I just read recently was this that the number one criteria for it advancement and promotion for professionals is the ability to communicate effectively and this is an hard conversations is probably the hardest in communicating having a difficult conversation is really the hardest and especially correction is the hardest of all is the hardest of all those communications I think the reason why is because Rick Warren said it best about our culture and about our society this is what makes hard conversations hard you ready for this Rick war instead of like this our culture has accepted two huge lives the first that if you disagree with someone's lifestyle you must either fear them or hate them and the second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do but both are nonsense you don't have to compromise convictions to be compassionate about other people's lives this is so important to recognize because what this does is this that if you believe that lie then nobody is getting corrected everybody's getting likes but nobody's getting corrected and you become a better man with correction not by praise and that's what makes this so important I mean you think about this I was I was going through my mind and it just listed down because I think this is so important that Jesus on the ways of the Cross literally almost in one week he had three hard conversations with Peter with Peter confrontation hard conversations that Jesus had with Peter and so here's what's great fact let me just list them to you because I think they're important so this is Jesus talking with Peter talking about having a hard conversation because he loves them and sees the future for Peter that he begins to have the hard conversation let me tell you the first one Matthew 16 when he try to stop Jesus from going to the cross or the cross happening when Jesus said I'm gonna be going and dying on the cross Peter said that's not gonna happen and Jesus probably the the the craziest rebuke of human history Jesus looks at Peter and says Satan get behind me how many know when Jesus calls you Satan it is not a good day so that's literally that's what Jesus called Peter if I'm Peter I'm just going like yeah I'm a loser number two is in Luke 22 it's when Peter boasted that he would never deny Jesus what Peter was basically doing was is you have all these guys but I'm you main guy I'm the guy who's got it all together and Peter and Peter had to have a heart Jesus I have a heart conversation with Peter at that point and then in Matthew 26 when he thought he'd helped Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane and he cuts off the year of a soul of the soldier in the garden and Jesus had a look I mean you literally gonna go on this on this crazy trial at night and Jesus stops pauses and go Peter stop he says my kingdom is not about swords my kingdom is greater than what's happening here and and having a hard conversation in the Garden of Gethsemane see there I think and I think it's worth listening down on those three hard conversations I think three things that Peter was being corrected for one Peter thought he knew better than the Son of God he said you don't need to do the cross III know it's better will it make you avoid the cross and Peter thought he knew better than what even the Word of God said number two Peter thought he was better than everybody else he kind of lifted himself up and plied I'll never deny you meaning in parentheses everybody else will and that didn't even work out and finally Peter thought God needed his help to get his work accomplished and he didn't need his help God can do it all by himself and he didn't he Peter to help him with that and that's why even the Son of God with his staff is having hard conversation how do you do that how can we have hope that in in advancing friendships in advancing relationships in advancing our marriage and to understand that we want to be saved we rather be saved by correction than be ruined by praise how can we move forward in this I want to give you two words or really two phrases that I just pulled right out of the scriptures and I'm gonna refer to these the whole time the way we do this is we need to be what I call or really what Solomon calls wise reprove errs and have listening ears wise reprove errs and listening ears and this is important because these are the phrase that Solomon uses in proverbs 25 12 let me read it to you Solomon says this like an earring of gold or the ornament of fine gold is a wise reprove er to a listening ear now let me explain something pastor Jovan was talking to me in between services one of the things that we always want to do between services and this is where I want to have a listening year is Sally will ask it pastor Jovan pastor Chris will ask it will always ask hey is there anything I could have made clear anything I could have done better we don't assume anything I want to make sure that I have a listening ear and I'm so grateful pastor Jovan goes you know what reproof he says pastor Tim the only thing I think that you may need to explain is reproof is a word that's not used a lot today so people can understand so I want you to jot this down because I'll refer back to it you know what reproof is reproof is a course correction it's a course correction and means somebody is going a certain direction or a certain trajectory and they need some words to get them back on course whether it's your marriage whether it's some relationships whether it's in your single life whatever it may be and you need a course correction that's what reproof is reproof means I love you enough but I need you back on the rails I need to get you to where you're supposed to go in fact I love what proverbs 25 12 says it's saying that one other version says it like this a warning given by an experienced person to someone willing to listen is more valuable than gold rings or jewelry made of the finest gold and that's what really reproof or course correction course correction is see I love those two phrases wise reprove errs and I love listening ear in order for a hard conversation to be successful both are so important the speaker has to be wise and the listener has to be willing let me say that again the speaker whoever has the card conversation has to be wise and how they approach it how they use at the timing and thus listener has to be wise and that puts weight on both people but let me tell you get ready for this because I want you to jot this down the challenge or our default program whenever there's a hard conversation as this don't miss this is that is is really invested I can explain as this we are very good lawyers for our own mistakes and very good judges for the mistakes of others that's the hurdle we face we're good lawyers when people want to talk to us where did you get that information from I want their number I want to talk to them where did you see that I want to know all the details that's not exactly what happened I did use those words I didn't say they were dumb I said they were the dumbest and so you go through all these things and we become lawyers on our own mistake and then when we have to judge other people we have great judges on other people's mistakes and that's the challenge and that's the hurdle that we're always jumping over wise reprove errs and obedient listeners not lawyers and judges a wise giver an obedient receiver that's where maturity begins to happen but our challenges are is this wasn't listening to me close because this becomes the challenge when the hard conversation takes place when correction is called judgment by those who don't want to change their behavior correction is called judgment you're judging me when people call correction judgment it's because they don't want to change what they're doing and so the their the the cloak of it is you're judging me judge not lest you be judged we know all those those verses but really what they're saying is I don't really want to change I really don't want this to anything to to happen inside of me and this is the challenge because if you don't get the listening part of honest words right you know it takes place you'll never be excellent you'll never be at your best if you can't welcome correction you can't be who God has called you to be and I'm just telling you people sometimes are in the condition that they are because they don't listen to when people correct them or when people reprove or bring a course correction to them and going man we see what's going on here so me going like that you telling me that's that's good that's healthy in a relationship listen what the Bible says proverbs 15 31 healthy correction is good if you accept it you will be wise you were only yourself by rejecting instruction but it makes good sense to accept it in fact I love kind of a little bit of a tweak and a nuance that the Living Bible a paraphrase uses of this verse it says this if you profit from constructive criticism you'll be elected to the wise men's Hall of Fame let me just tell you something when you have a Hall of Fame not everybody goes there and not a lot of people go there and so to have people that would accept correct that's really a big challenge for all of us and that's why this is so important for us to begin to look at and for us to begin to deal with and that's why we have to understand how important this is the goal the goal of course correction is really I think the passion translation of the Bible that pastor Jacob loves really speaks best listen to it it is to humbly receive wise correction watch this adorn your life with beauty and makes you a better person my goodness how many want to be a better person anybody here with me okay half of you so let me just say this to the other half this is for you I want to just help you walk through this because I do want to be a better person and I become a better person when people can give me course corrections when people can look at something and go hey let's work this through you know I was thinking through this on the on the course corrections and if in if the goal is to be a better person that's the wind the wind adorn our life of beauty be a better person what I've learned something when a correction turns into a production instead of a win let me tell you what I've learned about that because when sometimes I've come to people and go hey can I help you can I walk you through this and it becomes this giant this giant production and instead of it being a win what just get all crazy what how did it go south on me how did a correction which reproof which is going to be a course correction which is gonna make you a better person how did it turn into a production instead of a win and and this is what I've learned and this is what usually happens it's when confrontation words are interpreted through their wound or their hurt you know what they do they see course correction or reproof as an attack against them because they're carrying a wound and a hurt many times towards you oh so you wanted you want to talk to me about that and all of a sudden it begins to provoke that junk that's inside of him I had a friend tell me this week these are his words he said this people who have an unresolved wound they'll either be fight or flight when you correct that's what happens people who have an unresolved wound when you when you begin to talk to them about anything either they're gonna fight going who do you think you are I can't believe this or it's flight I'm out of here I want a divorce I'm going to another Church where they love people I'm gonna go to a non spitting Church and a non yelling Church I'm gonna go to one of those and I've watched it happen when people won't walk through something it's fight or flight that's what they begin to always always face and so today I want to walk you through practically I want to be instructive today in fact I had a friend of mine tell me this he said every sermon should do three things and this is I think I'll miss the first one on this but every sermon to do three things it should Electrify it should edify and it should specify those three things I'm not really sure if I'm at this is electrifying because this is this is a hard conversation is hard to talk about but I am gonna edify you today and what I want to do over the next few moments is I want to specify for you because how important this is this is really important in fact I love the way David Augsburg errs book caring enough to confront how he defines what confronting is listen to these words he says this confronting he says in this book is referred to as care fronting because what you're doing is you're caring for the person it's not you trying to get your way it's you trying to help their future and so that's what I want to walk you through with just two simple points as we get ready just to kind of wrap this whole thing up today I want to go ahead and begin to just take those two points on how to be a wiser approver and how to have a listening ear so let's do this and I'm gonna give you some practical things I want to specify for you as we do some course Corrections here it is let's start with the first person if you have to initiate the hard conversation how you you become a wise reprove er or a wise course corrector now let me just say this there are two things that every wise reprove er or course corrector whether you're speaking to your children your spouse a co-worker best friend there's two things every wise reprove er must bring to a hard conversation what we think is only one sometimes we think I just got to bring the facts to bring the truth and nothing could be further from the truth to think that all you need is facts listen to what the Apostle Paul said he puts he adds one more thing he says and if you leave this out it literally becomes a train wreck Ephesians 4:15 jot this down we have to speak the truth in love and if you all you have is okay this is important because if all you have is truth you're gonna have a problem and if all you have is love you're gonna have a problem you need both of those to work together let me say it like this truth without love is harmful and reckless and love without truth is insincere and cowardly listen to me because if you're just gonna tell the truth then literally it's harsh and harmful and if all you do is you're gonna tell give them love without the truth it's insincere and cowardly you're not making them a better person and that's why this is so important we need both of those to work together so how can we become a course-correct they're a wise reprove err how can we have those card conversations so let me give you just I'm gonna give you six quick words that I want you to jot them down this is gonna help you marriage children six words that I've seen in my own life that Cindy and I have tried to even even model but I think these words are so important and I'm literally I'm gonna give you a sentence maybe two sentences on each one but just one word get ready just to jot all these down number one it's a hard conversation should be done privately when they spill over at a dinner table or publicly or something that what that means is you blew your top you couldn't hold it in you were supposed to take it and I've seen this you're supposed to take care of it privately and it spilled out someone someone got you to your boiling point publicly and you're supposed to take care of it privately you got angry in the store you got angry in Albertsons you got when that happens you didn't take care of what you were supposed to take care of privately it should happen private remember too you need to lead the conversation by the why it's happening that's a big one here leading by why that the reason is not your preference or I'd rather have this the reason the why that's the bigger picture I'm doing this because I love you I'm doing this because I value our friendship I'm doing this because you're my son you're my daughter I'm doing this because the future is important I'm doing because you're my husband and I want our marriage to be the best that it can ever be that's the why if people know the motive then it becomes easier to deal with all the specifics of the situation the bigger picture is the why and that's why this is so important number three I always put down specifically that when you're gonna be gonna have a hard conversation you're not talking about ten things you're not saving them up for one conversation nothing can be worse going like this hey can I meet you about ten things you've done wrong that is absolutely a train wreck this is you going hey let's just talk about this I want to I want to bring up it's one thing it's specific and you deal with it right there that's how you deal it's private there's a motive which is the bigger picture I love you I want a future with you I want a healthy marriage we're gonna do this together it's specific let's deal with this which means if it's specific you have to keep it updated you can't save up for a rainy day and then dump the whole thing can I tell you really what's important to me this is something I've men I've done this all my life when I've had had a heart of conversations number four write it out don't wing it when you wing it you're gonna say the wrong words write it out you know what I in fact do I write out what I'm gonna say and I pray about it I just go god this is the words if you don't want this and and it's funny because when you wing it stuff comes out that you shouldn't that shouldn't be there you don't get specific enough and it doesn't become it doesn't even become logical and that's what I'm telling you write it out at that point number five it should happen immediately what do you mean pastor Tim well what if I can't meet with them here's what I've always done I want to take care of it before the Sun Goes Down according to Ephesians chapter four but sometimes it can but you know what I do at that point I set up the meeting then immediately hey can I talk to you tomorrow can I talk to you next week can I talk to you on Sunday because I need to make sure that I'm following up because I always remember this always remember time doesn't heal all wounds forgiveness heals all wounds number six pray pray before the meeting pray about the meeting pray at the end of the meeting be beginning be middle and and and and at the end this is so important that means you're bathing this whole thing in prayer because this is a hard conversation this is difficult to do and this is like surgery folks in fact the way best way I could say it is like this truth is like surgery it hurts but it cures and lives our painkillers it gives instant relief but it has side effects for a really long time that's what makes this so important that's a wise reprove er that's the person wants to lead the conversation but let's do the second part and then we're gonna close how do we become or how do we have listening ears because that's just as important this is the part this is the part that grows us and in fact if I had to say the most important thing many of you going like tell us how we can yell at people no no that's the first part that's not the part the hardest part is this one how do I listen to it when they're talking to me that's the hard one in fact I love with the iconic interviewer Larry King said he said it like this I remind myself every morning nothing I say this they will teach me anything so if I'm going to learn I must do it by listening if you want to learn something be quiet just this listen let people talk ok so so let me help you today when you're on the end the tough end of the phone call or the meeting it's a hard conversation I want you to drop these words down this is what's help means something I've tried to model even when I've been on the other end always keep this in mind is because your pastor does it mean I'm not sitting in those meetings I'm on the other end of those conversations I've had people have these conversations it's you when you get to a point I didn't say this in any other in any other service I'm gonna say it here there's a there's a very telling verse in if I'm gonna say I mean if they can get it right Ecclesiastes 4:13 and it says it's better to be a young poor wise lad than an old foolish King that doesn't receive instruction anymore think about that for a second a king you're an authority but doesn't receive instruction anymore that's dangerous when you think like man I've been doing this for 35 years I got it down folks look at me I don't have it down that's why I appreciate people like pastor Randy who correct me pastor Jovan Sally pastor Jacob my wife Paul the host and I'm so grateful for every one of them so let me help you with some words quick words everybody still with me okay here we go quick words to help you when you're on the other end of that conversation here it is number one be quiet when they speak be quiet don't interrupt no matter what they're saying let them tell their story wow that's not true I didn't say that be quiet here's my room here my rule is this if it's true apologize if it's not true be quiet stop interrupting let them tell the story they were brave enough and courageous enough to talk let them talk but this leads me to the second part number two you need to be alert alert for what pastor Tim this is a big one you need to be alert of your facial expressions your heavy breathing and the shaking of your head oh don't look at me like you don't know it's like this and so I want to talk I looked at one person one time breathing so heavy I'm going like do you need me to call 911 esse are you having a heart attack here I stopped one person I was talking I'm sharing with them in with the whole time the gun I said stop shaking your head let me talk you'll have your opportunity you're gonna watch that that's that's a Hmong discipline to do that that's no self-control let them speak when people are telling me something and I agree with them seriously I'll look you right in the eye and I'll shake my head pastor rainy telling me you're prideful that's true that's true thank you you this when he's telling me something and he didn't tell me that he goes I've never told you that no just we're pretending so so so if he's saying something I get it I'm listening if you're telling me something that's not true I'll just stare at you so you go like that's the trick like if you're telling me stuff I'll just look at you and what this means is you can tell me whatever you want I don't but I'm not going to distract you with no I'm not I'm not gonna do that so that's the second thing you just need to be alert of that have some self-control let understand they were courageous and brave enough to come and talk to you number three is I call write it down which means if you want to respond to something have a pen and paper don't do by your phone texting your your boo going like you would not believe what they're saying to me just what I want you to do is pen and paper I want a pen and paper just go hey I'm just writing this down because I want to make sure I have a chance just I want to make sure I'm hearing this right I'm just I'm writing and I'll do that when someone I'll write down to Scott okay gotcha yeah thank you thank you and I'll write it down which leads me to the fourth thing chop this down is gratitude let me tell you what grata I want you to lead by gratitude when someone has a hard conversation it goes like this thank you for thank you for being brave enough thank you for being courageous enough to come and tell me because the court in the Bible if you love me you'd come and tell me stuff and you did you didn't tell twenty other people you didn't post it you didn't tweet it you didn't blog it you came and told me personally folks look at me for a second nothing is more cowardly than a conversation you were supposed to have and you post it and you went ahead and told a whole bunch of strangers on Facebook that's cowardly whoa that's good passage Jim okay let me just coward talk to the person just go listen I want to I want to then post it note okay and just just this this just understand how important this is is gratitude let me tell you what gratitude does because then I have to say this is really good you want to thank them and let me tell you what that fights it fights retaliation what do you mean pastor Tim nothing hurts a hard conversation more than when someone comes and tells you something and you go oh well I have something to tell you if you're been in the conversation kind of a tit-for-tat kind of thing what you owe so so I owe you money well maybe you owe me an apology and also I know what I tell people I said stop right there I said you're not saying that to make me better you're saying that it's revenge and retaliation because if you if you meant to help me you would have got a hold of me if I did something to you but what you're doing is you're talking to me because I opened up the door but if you really want to talk me through this you should set something up and we should do it together because I so I can have the opportunity apologize but you're not saying this proverbs 25 12 to make me a better person you're saying this to protect yourself and to throw off the conversation so what your that's why you lead my gratitude thank you for talking to me thank you for being brave and a thank you for even praying for wisdom to be a wise reprove err and the final thing I just say like this I just say to invite invite them and just say and I never want to ever have a production here but I always want you to have a win so I'm inviting you that if you see something a course correction needs to come please tell me man I want Cindy to tell me I want Pastor Jacobs and I want pastor Randy pastor jovan Sally I want everyone I work with my goodness I don't want to be some deceived short-sighted person that thinks I've got it all together I need the help of people in my life so I want to invite them to come in even when it stings a little bit but a wiser approver knows when to come this is not a daily thing it happens occasionally and when it does I had to be I want to talk to you about why you're proving as we close I had a chance to be a wise reprove err and picked my spots on a plane ride that happened on Tuesday so I was how to do and some point I'll share with you how about what's happening overseas in Europe so I was doing a conference but my in Brussels Belgium and so my flight to JFK before I took off to Brussels both listening ear and wives reprove her but I needed to know what to reprove I sat next to an individual that it was probably the funnest two and a half hour talk I've had in a long time with someone about everything you can imagine and it all started with me sitting down and the person going are you going home I said nope go into Belgium and an infant and so he goes what do you do and I always hold back telling people I'm a preacher because I don't want them to get to fake anything so I snuck it out of me this guy was good I mean he is he was total New York loud every I mean he was says I know that that crowd just everything so we're sitting there and I go I'm a pastor he goes watch and he's screaming he's go a preacher he goes this is blankety-blank awesome and so as seriously and just the profanities were all like every schooling man this is broke blankety-blank god that put us together and he was a blankety-blank love gods let's go like i couldn't stop laughing he was so loud that if you had to put her a movie rating on this conference that it was like easy and are it's totally we couldn't even be pg-13 and everybody knew that that I'm a preacher he's profane and all his stuff is all it was K was fantastic and so we're talking through and and so as we're going through it equals man I know by can heap like God put us together and this is its this mankind he wasn't me to say his blankety-blank s-- were pretty blankety-blank I mean it's like listen I'm not saying maybe he was dropping the bomb okay just say that all the time I was just praying for little children and pets this time going god this is gonna be interesting so the whole time we're there and then we just started talking I find out him and his son are the captains of the ship of this of this TV show called wicked tuna so he is he is fishing all over the world bringing in three hundred four hundred twelve hundred pound tunas so he showed me because look at blankety-blank and look at this and it's gone oh that's awesome I could I didn't care so I just got like this isn't so and I'm asking and he goes at one price do you make for that like this that's a 300-pound tuna how much he goes I got $27,000 for that I said I'm in the wrong business so I said $27,000 for a fish I said that's crazy so him and his son run about everything and I mean we're talking we're talk this whole thing through and I knew let me just raise them I knew I was in at one point like our to through hearing about tunas at one point he called me goes that's awesome Timbo I know what he called me Timbo I said at that point I'm in I said when anybody calls you Timbo I'm in and I know at that point I'm looking for my opportunity and sure enough he got to the point he was telling me that all the times he almost died on a boat almost sunk deeton deep-sea fishing all the times and he goes hey Timbo he says I I should have been dead he says but and blankety-blank god's right there for me and everything else and blankety-blank i go to church and thank Michael T blank god I took communion and I said I just couldn't stop laughing I thought I was back in Detroit I was going like and that didn't bother me nothing none of that bothered me I mean that was my life for 30 years there's no big somebody going like what that's there's something wrong you can't be okay that's another sermon but let me just go through and that's when he said he said I'm thankful I go to churn ATS that's when I became a wise reprove err to say listen I'm not worried about the cursing cuz he asked me at one point he goes don't you curse no and so I said but I said but you know what captain I said let me tell you what the problem is the problem is you got the heavens Bing this is where I need to become a wiser approver I'm not gonna I'm not interested in the profanity I was interested on how he thought he got to heaven he thought he got to heaven by going to church he said I took communion he said I got water baptized and he said and I just my daughter just my granddaughter just had a First Communion so she's all set I said no no let's let's stop right here let's talk this through I said you have to understand none of us can do enough to get to heaven none of us can as a captain you can catch all these are the biggest tunas that doesn't make God happy that doesn't and just because you provide for your family that's great but that doesn't get you to heaven and and in the verse that came to mind at that point was Romans 3:23 when it says this listen to these words Paul says since we've compiled this long and sorry record as sinners and prove that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us incapable so what happens God did it for us out of sheer generosity God put us in right standing with himself a pure gift he got us out of the mess that we're in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be and he did it by Jesus Christ that's where it happened and I'm telling you let me tell you how proud I was that as the plane was landing it was like an OSC service as we're landing I said let me tell you how you get to heaven John chapter 3 jesus said unless a man is born again he'll never enter the kingdom of heaven Oh what captain let me tell you you could be born again eh admit that you're a sinner B believe that Jesus Christ came and died here seeking all I needed was Jason on the plane next to me playing the piano go and you go pastor Tim that's all I needed at that point let me just tell you what's incredible is that when you're talking about eternity and you're talking about what it is to have eternal life and to go to heaven you don't have to be in church to hear that what we say right here works on Delta flight 81 it'll work in CCS and it will work in Starbucks because it's not a religious thing this is the truth this is the real thing and the hard comers so the only time I reproved him was not for dropping all these bombs the only time I reproved him is when he got the heaven thing wrong so fast Tim how do you get the heaven thing right this is what Jesus said John 3:3 unless the man is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God what is born again mean let me tell you what I told Tim I told him this I said captain I said just as you're born once you have to be born again once you had a first birth you need a second birth that's called being born again how does that happen it's as simple as ABC a you admit that you're a sinner something is broken God had to reprove us and say everyone has sinned but there's a way out that's be believing that Jesus died on the cross for me there's not a baptism tank there's not a communion there's not a church starting with this church that can ever get you to heaven only Jesus can get you to heaven it's not perfect people listen to me perfect people don't go to heaven you ready for this one this is gonna blow your mind good people don't go to heaven forgiven people go to heaven that's whose nose they have so stop trying to be good because you can't we can't do it we're incapable of living the life that God wants us to live but he did it for us out of sheer generosity and see confessing in his Lord confess Chema's as God in charge of my life I want you to bow your head with me please maybe today this can be gate 32 for you because when that plane landed at JFK I had the opportunity at gate 32 at JFK Airport in terminal terminal B to pray terminal 4 to pray with Tim and to pray with captain right over there before he exited out and went to his home maybe this could be gate 32 for you terminal terminal 4 maybe this could be that moment that you could start a journey with God you don't have to have it all together this is not about you getting things right to get to heaven this is about going I accept the gift that you died in my place you could start a born-again journey today a born-again journey today this is when you know my sins are forgiven and I get to go to heaven this is to know that now I can have God in my life and know that when this life is over I get to be with God forever stop trying to be good enough to get there you can't you just need to be forgiven and God starts that process today so what are we gonna do pastor Tim I'm simply gonna pray a born-again prayer that's what I'm gonna do I'm just gonna pray a prayer and if you're here today and go pastor Tim when you pray that born-again prayer I'm gonna start that journey with God I thought I could do it myself I thought it's about me being good and and getting baptized and having communion and being in church it just doesn't get us there Jesus says it to be born again and if you're here today and you're going back to Tim I want I want this to be that opportunity I want to be born again I want my sins forgiven I want to know that I'm going to heaven when I die I'm simply gonna pray a born-again prayer if you're here today and going passionate Tim I like to start that journey I'm not gonna make you stand I won't even make you walk forward but if you're here today with every head bowed and every eye closed if you're here and say pastor Tim when you pray that prayer I want to be included in that I want to start that journey all I'm gonna ask you to do in just a second is to lift your hand that's it and I'll count it just to make sure and we're gonna pray just pray that prayer for you today but if you're here and say put me in that prayer pastor Tim I want to start that journey with God I want born again today if that's you without any hesitation would you just hold up your hand hold it up high so I can see it keep it up because I want to make sure I count every hand keep them up I'm gonna start from my from my right there's 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 you could put your hands down that's fantastic we could put our hands together thank God for that hey can we all pray with these 28 P let's at all pray this out loud dear Lord Jesus I believe you're the Son of God I believe that on the cross you took my sin my shame and my guilt and you died for it you faced hell for me so I wouldn't have to go you rose from the dead to give me a place in heaven a purpose on earth and a relationship with your father today Lord Jesus I turn from my sin to be born again God is my father jesus is my Savior the Holy Spirit is my helper and heaven is my home in Jesus name and everybody said amen come on stand with

Channel: Our Savior's Church Lafayette Campus

Views: 1,612

Rating: 5 out of 5

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Id: OQR-cJlC6K8

Length: 43min 58sec (2638 seconds)

Published: Sun Jul 21 2019