Pastor Miles McPherson - The Third Option

[Music] what I would like everybody to do here and in all the sites around the world if you can just take a second find someone who doesn't look like you we do this at church all the time find someone doesn't look like you're here you gonna say here's what you gonna do just look him in the eye aha I'm gonna do some Hebrew for you huh so lose your original Old Testament language ha ha ha I want you to look at me the iron I want you to say what is your name and they're gonna tell you their name and you gonna tell them you are beautiful and they give my hug amen ok [Applause] amen amen I want to give you a high level of what's going to happen I'm gonna speak here for a few minutes well more than a few then we're going to have a spoken word you're going to see a video on how to have a small group discussion and then I'm going to be interviewed by Kevin and Megan about some of the issues that are going on and then at the end we're going to we're going to declare we're going to recite a declaration of unity amen and I'm very excited about that and and then all the sites if you didn't download that unity - five - five - five please do that because all the resources we're gonna reference are on that shortcode you're gonna get everything downloaded to your phone you're gonna get an opinion a bunch of questions today so you can give us your opinion about race in America you're gonna get the discussion guide for the small group discussion you're gonna see a video that's gonna explain that and you'll get some other stuff do something Church conference will talk about here as well but please do that a text unity - five - five - five how many of you have seen the movie Remember the Titans okay now it is the best movie ever made can I get a amen how many of you have never seen the movie Remember the Titans you've never seen the movie okay so I I don't want to call you out but please please go watch that movie it's about a football team in Virginia in 1971 it was an all-white school and they integrated it and brought a black students along with a football team and a football coach and it was a state champs and they it was a great coach and they brought black players and United these black players are these white players Denzel Washington play the black coach that came to the school and they made him the head coach whether that was right or wrong it just it's what happened and the movie is all about how these players who resented each other hated each other in the beginning of the movie ended up coming together and winning the state championship that year and they were two main alpha males of the black group and a white group Gerry Bertier and Julius if you didn't again if you know the movie you know I'm talking about but if you don't know the movie beer tier was white guy and he was the alpha male the white team and a group part of the team and then Julius was the black player who was the alpha male of the black room and they were at each other's throat the whole movie and then they started to get to know each other and they start to become friends and they became best friends and they represented unity and in the school and on the team and in that town and they end up winning the championship at the end of the season right before the last game Gary bear tear the white player was in a car accident he was paralyzed and he goes to the hospital and in the hospital Gary says I don't want anybody in my room except Julius so julie's comes to a hospital and now whether this really happened I don't know but it was it makes me cry we talked about it and he comes in and Gary's mother says to Julius Julius he only wants to see you now Gary's mother didn't like Julius cuz who's prejudiced in the beginning of the movie and she says he only wants to see you and he's crying and he's saying I should have been with him and and his mother says what good would that been you would've been announced for the with him he needs you to be strong and he walks in the hospital in the in his room and the nurse in the hospital in the room says to Julius was at the door he's black Gary's white and says excuse me family only and Gary says what are you talking about that's my brother can't you see the resemblance and they come over and and and Gary says I was scared of you and they both confessed that they had fear out of ignorance of each other but in reality they were brothers and Julius says listen when all this is done we're gonna retire and get fat together and and grow old together Gary died not too long after that so they didn't get a chance to do that but what happened was if you watch that movie you see a group of people who think that they are enemies and they were taught to be enemies when in reality that was not this case I hope that when you're listening today you get a vision for what can be our country has a history we've been divided the world has been divided since day one but I believe the devil has overplayed his hand people are tired of division can I get amen and so my hope is that that you take this information in and you say what can I do you were only responsible for you you're only responsible for you when I when I wrote this book again all this content is based on this book I talk to so many people and I really didn't know what I was doing when I started to be honest with you I just knew I'm gonna go for it and then I was like Oh what did I do and and I had so many people talk to me and one guy said to me look you're not gonna make me a racist and I was like wow I had to really think that that's how people are going to take it I want to tell you something that I'm gonna pray because this is going to be the the the biggest AHA for me in this book is that you can be racially offensive and not be a racist now let's be clear there are people who are racist and most people will say they're not but the third option is that we're all biased and that means that you you don't have crystal clear glasses that you understand everything about everybody all the time but you can be racially offensive ignorantly out of fear out of uncomfortableness and not be a racist why this is so critical because all trauma I've had thousands of discussions about race with people and if you equate being racially offensive or saying something racist offensive or doing something that's taken as racially offensive if you equate that so that you are a racist which by the way people will put that on you incorrectly unfairly because they don't really know your heart they don't they don't know why you're saying what you're saying you may be just ignorant you may be just you might have been offended by some of the comedy okay because you think more Mike he shouldn't said that because you don't know him and you don't know comedy or whatever so you got offended that's cool that offense to you is legit however it doesn't make him a racist and so if you can accept that I can be racially offensive and it doesn't necessary sits that I can learn to not do that or learn why it is offensive then you can receive the information because all the stuff we're going to talk about today is under the assumption that we are all humans in process and learning and that when you label someone which I'll talk about a little bit later when you label someone say that's what someone is you're almost saying they can never change and that's what you are and therefore yeah and we'll get to in a minute in a few minutes what labeling is but my first thing is I just want you to accept the fact that I you all of us are in process we are learning and I want to learn better and there are gonna be some things that you have believed all your life and some things you were adamant about that you may be wrong and it's okay or you may realize today I didn't have all the information or I was making a decision or a judgment based on my pain my perspective by the way which is real it's just not the whole story and so if we can get over that hurdle then everything else to say you'll be able to receive with a little more humility in the movie in the movie Remember the Titans three players were getting ready to go into a bar one was white - a black it was sunshine blue MPD if you reminisce thoughts and sunshine was the white guy with blonde hair with sunshine and he was going into the into the thing and and he said we can go in and they said no we can't go in there and and the two blacks like we can't go in that bar that they don't accept us and he said yes it's gonna be okay and they were arguing they go in the bar and they get rejected and they come out and the two black players are yelling at him saying we told you and one said he didn't know and the PIA said he didn't want to know if all of us and this is what this next comment is to all of us no matter what you look like if you just listen before I pray let's establish a posture that I want to know I want to know what I don't know and trust me I can I can't tell you how much I've learned through writing this book I did not know 80% of it before I start when I started I learned so much about me everybody people bah-bah-bah I want to know so let's all bow heads just real quick Lord we want to know how can we honor you how can we love better how can we get along better how can we move past our pain our bitterness our anger ignorance our fear our blind spots Holy Spirit teach us in Jesus name Amen amen let's get a lot of hair come on okay to the screen I'm gonna have some stuff here from the screen I'm gonna give you three kinds of races a very high level and racism is someone's tendency or habit to discriminate against somebody because of how they look or their race or ethnicity this institutional racism which are systems that hold people down my sister was going to buy a house in Maryland and the real estate agent said we have to assess and and and guide you to a proper neighborhood that's appropriate for your family and she's like what's that mean well you know this and make a long story short they did talk it out it means that there are certain neighborhoods that we're not supposed to sell to you and she went ended up moving to one of those neighborhoods anyway her husband was a cop and when they moved in he came home with his cop car which they did in Maryland and not in his buddies with nine cop cars showed up to move the furniture into the house everything went fine after that there was no problems thank you to the police there's internalized racism where people begin to internalize the message of racism that is said to them in other words when they are told they are less than or their culture is less than they begin to deny their own culture their own language they begin to use the critical names against themself that they are called by the racist that's internalized racism and you begin to hate yourself and the people like you personally mediated racism is when you just are racist towards somebody else just because it's me and you it's not an institution it's not systems it's just I have something against you because of how you look away you're from and by the way because of what I believe and think about people like you and who look like you what I really don't know everything but there's a fourth thing that I want to point out which I think is hopefully mostly all of us well it does apply to all of us it's subconscious unconscious bias this is where you have bias against people or for people and you don't even know it in other words if you ask someone if they're racist LD say a few people will say yes some people most people will say no but the reality is that we're all bias we don't see things perfectly and this is where I go back to my original statement if we can accept I have bias because if you don't have bias that means you know every culture perfectly and you treat everybody with perfect love now that may be your intent but really what are you really accomplishing and what is your what are your actions and your words accomplish that's where we all are we all have bias less than a neutral view of people and situations my background is I have a white grandmother a black Chinese grandmother and two black grandfather's and so when you put that together you get my parents and you get this nice Hawaiian caramel brown skin can I get any man hey man hi hi it's y'all see that y'all see that hey man so don't say you don't see it so I got this nice card back nice brush brown skin and I grew up in a black neighborhood went to school in a white neighborhood first eighth grade I got called names in a white neighborhood cuz that was black got called names in a black neighborhood because I wasn't black enough racism is sin and all have since it's the equal opportunity offender so I was getting on both sides of the street but yet in my family I had brown people and a half Chinese and brown person my great-grandfather was from China Mr Wong was his name is his name Wong he came to Jamaica got jungle fever saw y'all who don't know what that means it's when someone non-white like someone black and someone non-black like someone black and they got jungle fever he had babies and one of my babies was my grandmother and and she and so I got that my granny's black grandmother and then everybody else was brown and there was this one white lady in my family that was my family and so we saw diversity all growing up I lived in a black neighborhood one school in a white neighborhood and heard the stories of both neighborhoods talking about each other and realized they didn't know each other but I did play football we were always diverse on our football teams The Rock Church the Bible study in my house a Bible study in my house with nine nationalities in my house Filipino Chinese Japanese blah blah blah in my house so I saw diversity I saw people get along I'm like why is our country so divine it and I realized in every conversation about race in every discussion and all these issues were to talk about there's always an us-versus-them whether it be black or white whether it be the police against the black community whether it be the people who kneel and the people don't kneel there's always the us first then Arimidex remember this concept because culture will always force you to pick a side and once you pick a side that means you're in opposition to the other side and it will in the end it will also label the others the other people one those people and it will give you labels for them and those labels will always be less human than you so whatever side you're on you're always gonna have a critical label for those other people and and I'll say this repeatedly throughout this day whenever you give them a label that's less than you you can no longer relate to them as a human you relate to them as that label and that label is lower than you therefore you cannot have a relationship so so when I saw I realized it was always us first time everyone to say us say them that's culture there's a third option would say a third option oh yeah I love that it just feels so good when you say that say it again say it again say here's a third option the third option is that we honor what we have in common everyone say honor this book is about honor not how I can avoid offending you not how I can avoid being racist but how can I intentionally honor you and acknowledge that you are human being and acknowledge that were the same so what we're going to talk about today is what how have we been separated number one how are we separated and and that's why in the book you talk about different issues in different ways people have placed people over there and created of those people category how we've been separated but more importantly what can we do what can we do to be united and that's the big thing I'm gonna challenge you to get this book am I trying to sell books no I'm trying to cut change the country this is a tool amen no tool and do it post it on social media do it because at the end of every chapter there's three next steps I'm about doing stuff there's three next steps on it after 18 chapters times three you could do the math and if you do it and you pass it on we can actually go pass talking about it and you know go past the conversation okay let me read it let me read it early reader passes Joshua chapter five in Joshua chapter five Joshua is leading the Israelites into the Promised Land and he's going to acquire and take by force the land that God promised to Abraham and so as he's going in the land he knows he's gonna have opposition by his adversary I have a cereza Canaanite the Hittite stammer I set up tights and Hanna sites and he's gonna go fight them and that's he's going in he he's confirmed by the commands of Lords army I don't know what the guys look like but and it was actually the Lord but he's he's confronted by this commander with his sword out and he says are you our enemy are you on our side or you aren't our adversary side us first everyone say us say them he says to the commands of Lords army he doesn't know who he is yet he says are you on our side or you are in this side by the way you look like a number one draft choice like a LeBron with a sword he be on outside but I just want to make sure you who you are and he says are you for us are you for them and he's gonna tell me interesting thing he's gonna tell him there's a third option you're giving only two there's a third look what it says in chapter five verse 13 it says it came to pass as Joshua was by Jericho he lifted up his eyes and looked and behold the man stood opposite him with his sword drawn in his hand and Joshua went to him and said are you for us or adversaries everyone say us say them and so we said no it's like after somebody do you want a hamburger hotdog and they go no well no what he says I'm not for either one of you all the people in the 300 sites around the world and he says I'm not feyza one of you I'm not on your side I'm not on your side well certainly guys on my side i've been oppressed certainly gods on my side I'm right no no he's not a needle on your side there's a third option it doesn't mean he's not for you it means that he has a plan that's way better than all of that plan and look what it says it says no as commander of the army of the Lord I've come Joshua fell on his face and and to the earth and worship and said what does my lord say to his servant and the commander said take your sandal off your feet for the place where you stand is holy ground he said Joshua the promised land is not about you unity is not about you it's God's idea you have to do it my way and so I I let me tell you something God is a God of justice but you have to do it my way for his God talking for my glory because I made all of y'all in my image only one image every single person that you know you ever meet in your life was made in the image of one God and His image is not inferior in one person to another for superior and one person to another is the same thing so if we can acknowledge that all of us are made the image what does that mean that every single person was made with the ability to have relationship with each other our relationship with God to love to pursue a dream to have empathy to forgive that's in every person and when I say honor it I mean place a high value on that no matter who you meet they can look you in the eye and tell you they hate you and you could say but you were made in the image of God so that means we were made to have relationship and not only that we are genetically 99.5% identical I was I was in the prison once ministering you know I'm saying I go to prison a lot just in case I got to go in you know just like brothers know me and uh and there was a white supremacist three of them were walking around the track one was in front of two others and God said you need to call him over so I said okay so I went up to this line that was paint on the ground I said hey man come over you know I was up he's like and he came right here and I said some stuff to him not stuff I you know said some things to him not know better I told Jesus love them is cool I'm Minister come on come on now even though even though he was had so much ink he was more blacker than me he was all black I was like brother you defeat the purpose right here right here little did he we know that we were looking at a genetic mirror of each other because we were not we are 99.5% identical when we honor someone's humanity we honor that they have pain just like us they have dreams just like us they cry when their family members died just like us and that we have to honor that and place a high value on that so let's talk about how we got divided sociologists define the tendency to group ourselves by a term called in-group out-group the way we sort people into groups that are either like me or not like me everyone say like me say not like me all the ladies in here are a group or hey older lady say hey that's a group I'm not in that group it's a nice group to be around but I'm not in that group all the mothers say hey so there was a little weaker hey because they're tired all the men are a group or the uncles are group all the people on staff at a church or group all the people with a job or group there's dozens and dozens and dozens groups and you a part of dozens of group the athletes are group retired athletes are group retired athletes that want to still be employed as athlete are group retired retired athletes that made no money but now they make a lot of money want to go back in time are a group okay football players our group hockey players our group there's all these different groups ok if I'm saying though that's your in-group those are the people like you in some form or fashion and you a part of dozens of groups that you are like the people that are not in any of your groups or at a particular moment you may be in a group with all men in this woman over there she's not in your group she's not in the men group but she may be married so you're in that group the people in your group you know intimately you know about how they think how they dress how they respond how they act because that's your group you hang around them you understand them then there's a group called the out group I don't say out group those are the people that you're that are not in your group and specifically not in a group that none of the groups you're in in other words I was at a hotel with my wife on a vacation and there was a a pleat in the weight-room working out and I could tell he was the athlete and not just a guy who worked out why because athletics athletes or group this high but I can also tell he wasn't a football player cuz he had he didn't have football legs his legs were different than football leg it's a long story but it's evidence that I understand what a football player does legs don't look like so I said hey man what do you do he said I play hockey in the National Hockey League that's like I knew it we were athletes we were we had a common group of athletics but I was completely on the out-group of being a hockey player I don't know anything about hockey now I'm not saying black people don't play hockey because they do at very low rate but they do I'm gonna saying I'm just saying but so what we got to do is we I understood athletics I did not understand hockey so what happens is when you understand your groove you understand them you can talk about them intelligently but you cannot talk about your out-group intelligently you only know what you heard on television or what your uncle told you what your parents told you your social narrative is the story that defines how you see the world it's what your parents told you when you grew up how your neighborhood talked about those people how your neighborhood interpreted what you saw on the news that's the limited information you have about your outgrew but you have intimate information about your in-group this is very important because the rest of this day we're going to be referring to in-group out-group and here's the thing to know you do not know your outgrew you have very limited information because you haven't been your that's you're outgrew they are not like you in the sense that they're not a group that you hung around that you have information around so at this point you have to realize whenever I'm talking about my out group I am handicapped with information I have to be careful I do not know I only have a anecdotal anecdotes one-liners about them I am misinformed when it comes to the whole story why is this important because when you hear yourself well we hear ourselves talking about those people we talk as though we know and when the news informs you and especially if you're listening to biased news that's informing you for a specific reason by the way they make their money on division you have to realize you're getting a biased information and if that's all you know you have to realize that you're misinformed so be careful that you're not adamant about misinformation that you realize is misinformation does that make sense this is this this is a big hurdle right here because if you can get over that it's gonna challenge you're just going to challenge a lot of things you thought you that you that you believe this and then you could say okay God now teach me help me understand if you can get to that we're like PD sunshine and blue walked into the bar and said he didn't want to know if you could say I wanna know I wanna say I want to know I assume all y'all in all these sites because you want to know and so we got in group and that once you understand you're in group you have in Group bias in-group bias is your tendency to give preferential treatment to the people in your in-group and preference the treatment means you feel comfortable with them I'm more comfortable with people in my in group than people in my hope I don't understand them it's it's I'm a fish out of water I don't get it but the people my in group a we know how to talk we know how to we know the lingo we know this we know that if I'm in a group in a room with a bunch of worship leaders in church I'm like okay cool I don't know music I can't sing even though I was in a band and I was the lead singer I was horrible okay if I had a big afro and I should've like met Michael Jackson I was cool right but back in the day but but if I'm in a room I don't I don't know music if I walk into a room with a bunch of pastors assistant pastors okay we have stuff in common but if I walk into a room with a bunch of pastors that have churches that are large we have a whole set of common issues we deal with that other pastors don't have can't relate to because they that's not the reality of having having staffs and the immediate critiquing you in and an HR and payroll and and and all those things it's my Engram we understand each other so we feel more comfortable in group biases when you get preferential treatment here are some of the preferential treatments I am more comfortable with those that like me I am more inclined to spend time socially with those like me I am more patient with those like me I give the benefit of the doubt quicker to those like me I express more grace when mistakes are made by those like me it is easier to communicate with those like me I assume that I will get along easier with those like me I am more willing to go out of my way to help those like me I possess more positive assumptions about those like me if I walk into the room and there's a bunch of chert passes over there big churches and a bunch of worship leaders I'm going over here I just feel more comfortable I don't hate them I don't I don't have anything negative about them this is just my in groups a minute this makes sense you are you following me so what happens if that was race it doesn't make you necessarily a racist necessarily but if that naturally happens hmm okay let's keep reading the opposite of in-group bias is out group discrimination withholding in-group bias from people I'm not gonna be as nice to you doesn't mean you're mean it doesn't mean you're bad it just happens I am less comfortable with those not like me I am less inclined to spend time socially with those like me I am less patient with those not like me I give the benefit of the doubt slower to those not like me i express less grace when mistakes are made by those not like me it is more difficult to communicate with those not like me I don't assume that I won't get along with those not like me I am less willing to go out of my way to help those not like me I possess less positive assumptions less positive assumptions about those not like me now you don't have to be a racist to do that but let me tell you some as a victim of racism it's exactly that now what does that mean that means that hmm remember we said in the beginning lord I want to know now let me let me switch it real quick for all you men in here I wonder how you treat ladies this applies to any outgrowth and Engram are you following saying any so what do we do I'm gonna give you six things because I cuz I'm about a whole bunch of stuff information number one how do we get over this number one acknowledge that you have a blind spot everyone say blind spot acknowledge that your black spot a blind spot is the difference between your intent and the impact of your actions for example if you say to someone all their races no I love all people the same and by the way if you ask the country they will say that so why is this so much division so there's an intent to be united the United States but the impact is not equal to the intent so therefore there's a blind spot blind spot is when there's something you can't see but you're blind to it you can't even see it there may be things you say things you do things you think things you model for your kids that are contradictory to what you say you believe and you don't even realize it and then when someone brings it up to you you're so shocked that it can't be and you say you're wrong and therefore you fail the Appa to take advantage of the opportunity to learn you have to acknowledge I have a blind so I wanna say I have a blind spot well one you're literally doing your eyes because of your optic nerve you can look it up online and you have an optic nerve in your brain and therefore there's an actual blind spot and your eye your brain fills it in automatically you don't even realize it and one of the ways you can learn what your blind spots are is ask a friend I read a stat the other day - 90% of white people and 80% of black people never had a white or black person in their house you can think about it many of you go to Mexican restaurant you love Mexican food but you don't love Mexican people but yet you're an expert on who they are you're an expert on what white people alike when you don't really Holly noni you can't be you just not so to lead into my next point if you can find somebody that is different than you ask them and my offensive told you is there anything I do that's offensive told you because I want to know there may be something I don't realize and whatever they say to you just receive it now they may say something to you would add a pain at a get you back time don't worry about that just receive it and think about it and then you're one step closer to honoring because what you're doing is you're honoring their view their perspective because their lens is just as legit as your lens it's just another perspective and all an only person that has a true perspective is God so god help us can I get a Amen number to rename those people as your brother or sister no more those people everyone say no more those people whoa Matt's readers Matthew 22:37 let's read this is so powerful this is this is this is this can end a whole lot of stuff lugar says Matthew 22 this is the greatest commandment jesus said this is the it is one thing you can do is do this you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart with all your soul with all your mind and this is the first and Great Commandment and then he says the second is like it you shall love your neighbor and what's a neighbor as yourself first John 4:20 here let's put that up there if someone says I love God and hates his brother and would say brother say sister he's a liar come to church all praise the Lord praise law I can't stand him praise the Lord Frey's law you're a liar you're a liar he's a lot cuz he who does not love his brother or sister who he sees not who he sees as different who he sees how could he love God who he hasn't seen so his thing everyone say neighbor say brother say sister the Bible says you have to love them as yourself but what if I swap out neighbor brother a sister and put in my derogatory term remember I talked about the beginning giving someone a label and putting them over there and you dehumanize them and as soon as you put given that dehumanizing label dehumanize label is stupid if you're not clear anything other than neighbor brother sister's knucklehead and we got a whole bunch of worse words than that then we call each other as soon as you do that you dehumanize them and guess what they're not your neighbor I guess what you don't need to love them anymore it's easier for you to permit in your heart for them to be mistreated because they're not at your level you just put them in a category lower than you but if you renamed everybody I want you to imagine next time you're watching the news and every time you see someone on TV that don't look like you or don't matter what it look like you or not say that's my neighborhood say I don't know everything that's going on with that person say I need to honor the pain that they're probably in right now and maybe they have a lens that's different than mine I wonder what that is I wonder how I can build a bridge to understanding that better I wonder what it is I don't know this is this is the third option mentality because I want to honor them as a human being that's been through something different than me they have a different experience they grew up in a different environment they there's social narrative develop a whole different lens than mine versus taking a little bit of information and saying they are this and by the way not only are they this that's what they'll be for the rest of their life to me therefore I shut them off forever going back to the remember to tighten this Gary bear tears mother she didn't want to know Julius but something happened and she said I'll try and at the end of the movie at his grave who is Julius standing there holding whose hand she decided to hold his hand they were in progress that's what this is all about we're all improper in process number three give in group love to your out group woo I've talked to so many people over the years and they'll always say to me and not always but a lot of people say to me why can't you just get over it when people say that it dawned on me that they have spent a very high percentage of their time surrounded by their in-group remaining group bias new biases that I'm around people who would like me we think generally the same and we kind of give each other benefited out we give each other grace more grace than our our group and generally things are pretty cool remember are we tracking right now and when someone says why can't you get over it one of the reasons is that they spend a lot of time in their in-group without a clear perspective of not only the people in their out group but being in an out group with these racial alcohol there was a there's a a leadership consultant leadership consultant here in San Diego Steve dr. Seidman gentlemen he wrote an article called the right hand of privilege everyone put your right hand up if you're right-handed if you're right-handed only if you're right-handed look around the room mostly all are right-handed now if you're left-handed and gifted like me put your left hand good come on now come on now we are the gifted ones that is called in-group bias right there he grew bias I am biased a left-hander vivo okay this is probably like 1% of us who are you know very small percentages or left-handed our culture was made from right-handed people doesn't mean that they're mean against left-handers but if you are right-handed you were at school like this and you wrote like this you can you don't have to look at your paper because your elbow had it marked and you can said hey how you doing what's up what's up how you doing what's up we couldn't in high school flirt and write at the same time we had a we had to pay attention because we were like this out here in space drawing our name wasn't fair I want a left-handed s if you want to get a baseball mitt you're right-handed every store has a baseball mitt that's right handed but every store does not have a left-handed mitt if you want to get golf club same thing if you want to get a specialized golf club you ain't getting in the left-handed it's just now does that mean that there's a conspiracy against left-handed people not necessarily it's just that culture was made for right-handed people are y'all following saying but so that means that if you're right-handed you are in your in-group imagine if your ethnicity is the right-handed culture and you are always in your in-group you don't know any different for all you who are right-handed you have I would imagine and again I'm guessing but I'm gonna tell you I'm guessing because I don't really know but I'm assuming that you probably haven't experienced the inconvenience to be left-handed you probably know your thought about it you go hey go to the store and if I go to store trying to get a menu like why you taking so long to buy your baseball mitt because I gotta go online when you don't and when I was growing up there was no online so why is it taking you so long why do you because I have to jump through four hurdles that you don't know about now does that make the right-handed person prejudiced against the left-handed person no it's just an advantage that is and it's an advantage that you don't even probably realize not everybody it doesn't necessarily make you racist against the left-handed people but it also doesn't make it go away because you don't realize it that advantage some call a privilege doesn't mean you have a lot of money it just means you're right-handed in a right-hander culture and for the most part you're around people who are like you who give you in Group bias over the left-handed people say minute that's making sense to you now that term privilege is used in a very negative way this is this is not at all that it's just you're right-handed and you could be around right-handed now what does this mean given group love when you walk into and by the way this is now for all of us because there can be a time when you're left-handed and you're in a room when everybody's left-handed and there's a right-handed person this applies to everybody give in group loved to your out group what does that mean that when you're in a room and you happen to be in you're in group whether it be racial gender occupation whatever when you're in that room and you're in your ingrown make sure you give in-group bias to that one person that's in the out group have an eye to build a bridge have an eye to say I know what you're I may know what you're feeling and by the way maybe I don't know what you're feeling because I've never been in the out group by the way in my book I was talking to somebody and I said to you need to go someplace we use the only white person is this particular person so you can understand what it means to be in that how cruel and we'll talk about that later but but and there's a whole questionnaire in there that I gave this person to experience being the only one that looks like you so if you're ever in that's what really white black Hispanic and you see someone that's not what you are be mindful I now want to make sure I give in group eyes that person and not let them hang out there by themselves number four number four acknowledge brothers sisters color I was twenty six someone the first time I heard someone say I don't see color I don't see my color and I was like oh what do you see I said you don't see red blue yellow they said no no we don't see your color I was like hmm you know you ever notice when people get a tan anyway everybody see it they'll come they'll come to work with a little spin just spaghetti strap or halter just like BAM look at it look at it come with a little mini a tan is celebrated it when it's guy when you get it in Hawaii when you get it in the womb it's invalidated God made brown not only did God make brown he made brown so brown can mix that's why you got this this is this is this is this is white black Asian West Indian all this right God said and got away it can change and go this way go that way and by the way why does the color to red fox got robbed in Sanford & Son and the police came and said you know mr. Sanford was the perpetrator color and he said yeah he was colored white culture will tell you culture will give you two options white people people of color God says is a third option all y'all are colored and those in that color can change can I get any men what it doesn't mean is that I see your color so now I'm going to discriminate against you or treat you differently because no I'm gonna acknowledge the beauty and creativity that God made you and that's it and by the way I'm also gonna acknowledge the possibility that you have a different experience than me but again I don't know so I want to learn and we're going to talk about that in a few minutes about having a race consultation where you are learning and let people self disclose to you what they're all about let me get to this view every conversation of race consultation every time you have a conversation with somebody every time you look at a human being you were having a race conversation what does that mean that you acknowledge what they are you know what there are you look at their clothes you look at the hair you look at their that you listen their accent you you you you you notice their swag or lack of swag and you know okay and your and your and your social narrative your glasses or making assumptions in split-second decision about what they may be like fine you can't stop those but you can challenge those so when you meet somebody your brains gonna go visit you're like okay I hear you I hear they're probably this probably that probably and then say okay now shut up you talk to me tell me about who you are again I'm leading you somewhere because later we're gonna talk about these issues in culture and when you're looking at people on television I'm hearing people in the news you have to acknowledge what do I really know what don't I know and can I be in a position of learning can I be in a position of learning so every race conversation is a race consultation we'll get more into that last one this last one give your heart to those who are not like you Rock kuru was a baseball player Hall of Fame Panamanian a little darker than me Panamanian baseball player 18-year all-star rookie the Year MVP 324 batting average something like that head heart condition several years ago 71 years old he needed a heart transplant Conrad ruling was a white NFL player who had a brain aneurism gun when he went into a coma I'm sorry he went into a coma Rock Cruz just need a transplant and Conrad's mother was in the hospital listen to his heartbeat as he's in his coma saying I'm gonna hit your heartbeat again you are going to live well he died he had signed his organs over to be donated and rocker ooh got Conrad's heart and kidney comrades mother called him up and said mr. Carew I think my son's heart and kidney are in your body rock crew say would you like to come over and listen to your son's heart when Conrad was living his oh he met rock crew and came home said mom I met my hero Rod Carew and I'm gonna be a professional athlete and he did become a versatile athlete he went to Stanford and then went to the NFL I actually told this story to the to the San Diego LA Chargers team a couple weeks ago excuse me and they trying to say honest [Applause] although I what it makes me a bad guy because I say that I didn't make over LA but when I was telling this story to them guys started and I almost broke down guy started yelling saying I played with him I coached him she goes over his houses she listens to his heart how is it if we're so different and supposed to be divided that a white man can give us heart to a black panamanian man it's nice in a minute I want to bow and pray before we go to the next segment some of us need a heart transplant God wants put his heart in you because the heart some of us have hard hearts and by the way a hard heart doesn't mean you know you're a bad person but God I wanna I want to love more I prayed and pray through writing this thing my heart needed healing and then and by the way my heart will need healing up until I die so right now and all the sights just bow your heads and close your eyes before we go to the next segment lord thank you so much for your faithfulness your goodness Lord we need to honor each other people are beautiful wonderful amazing we pray for transformation in our country we pray for transformation in the government and the media and churches and businesses and law enforcement but that's only going to happen when we get a new heart if you realize that Jesus died for your sin and rose from the dead and you want to ask him to forgive you or you want to ask him to comfort you you've been hurt you're scared you're tired you're resentful this race racial division has just worn you out and you want God to encourage you just pray this prayer with me in the privacy of your heart pray dear God I know you love me I know you have an amazing plan for my life fill me with the Spirit of God forgive me of any sin in my life I want to love and honor my neighbor as you intended me to do wherever you are eyes closed heads bowed if you prayed that prayer just raise your hand up really high and I could see you and pray for you God bless you God bless you God bless you God bless you God bless you god bless you all the sites around the world thank you lord thank you for your faithfulness in Jesus name Amen hey Amy let's get a look in one hand no matter where you're at no matter where you're at if you raise your hand if you text the word unit in five - five - five there is a code on there for us to sense up to you we want to encourage you [Music] you

Channel: Rock Church

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Keywords: rock church, miles McPherson, San Diego, message, sermon, volunteer, volunteerism, leader, leadership, pastor, Christian, Jesus, Bible, God non-denominational, mega-church, southern California, preacher, worship, Sunday, point loma, ministry, outreach, news, stories, transformation, heroes, inspiration, devotional, small group, testimony, disciple, mentor, parable, satellite church

Id: ogehqmVcMxY

Length: 52min 42sec (3162 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 07 2020