Paper Walls: Moving Beyond The Excuses That Hold You Back • Part 1┃"Because"

hey everybody welcome to your move where we help you make better decisions and live with fewer regrets I'm Andy Stanley and I'll be your guide and today we're talking about excuses and what to do about them now we've never met but here's what I know about you your excuses are boxing you in and they're holding you back and you don't want to live like that so stay tuned and I'll tell you what to do about it right here [Applause] [Music] now um there are and you know this there are a lot of things that are worth carrying forward in our lives from one season to the next one year to the next good friends um good habits and then there are some things that we should leave behind things that are not worth carrying from one season to the next from one year to the next so for the next few weeks we're going to talk about one of those things because one of the things that all of us should get in the habit of leaving behind are excuses excuses excuses are like Paper Walls that from a distance they look like real obstacles um from the distance they looked impenetrable from a distance they look like we really don't have any choice but to do what we're doing or not to do what we're not doing or to not try or to not try again in fact from a distance an excuse looks like an actual reason now there's a reason I can't throw a 97 mile an hour fastball right but there there is no actual reason for me not to well I'm not sure I know you well enough to to finish that sentence but there are some things that I need to do that um you know I I I have reasons for but if you were to push a little bit you may discover that my reasons aren't really good reasons they're really they're really just excuses so excuses get passed off as reasons and excuses easily become in the real world because this because all of us have some becausees that we habitually hide behind when certain things come up right I mean why don't you well you know because why haven't you well because I mean why why don't you just tell him why don't you just tell her because because because because we've got because it's excuses passed himself off as reasons and then in our real world vocabulary they become be causes right there's a fine line we're going to talk about this for a few because there's actually a fine line between a reason and an excuse and one always disguises itself as the other in fact the the way that we you know talk about or refer to excuses when we're talking about other people actually underscores this what do we say when we think somebody's you know they're making up excuses we just say hey you are making excuses in other words you don't have any real reasons you're passing these office reasons we hear because because because because because but the truth is I see what's going on here you are making excuses that is you are just making things up or we say quit making excuses you are fabricating things you are inventing things again and the implication is these aren't real you think they're real you're trying to pass them off as real but I see what's going on here right implication you know you're just making stuff up you've you've created in your mind a paper wall and you're trying to convince me that it's actually a real wall you you've created in your mind a paper wall and you're trying to pass it off as an actual obstacle you're what you're doing is you're dressing up an excuse you're dressing up an excuse in an attempt to pass it off as a reason and isn't it true this is so easy to see in our children it is so easy to see in our grandchildren it was so easy for our parents to see in us right when we were children living at home you you had to come up with a reason because you're busted you had to come out with a reason because things aren't going well those aren't the actual reasons those are excuses and you're disguising your excuses as a reason in fact this is so easy to see in other people it's so easy to see in other people some of you are thinking right now about who you hope is listening to this message or how do I get my kids to listen to this one how much will I have to pay them it was 20 bucks last time I don't have how much you know has the rate gone up in other words it's it's so easy to see other people we hope everybody will recognize those aren't real reasons those are excuses that you're disguising as a reasons we can we can spot an excuse in somebody else a mile away we can't see it six inches away in the mirror what we say is the reason the reason the reason the reason what we almost never say is wouldn't this be refreshing well my excuse is wouldn't that be refreshing you know how you know it's be refreshing because you would love to hear him or her or your kids to say it you know why didn't you finish your homework well Dad my excuse is wow hey at least we're on this at least we're you know dealing with reality right why are you late well my excuses what if we if nothing else we don't get anything else out of the series what if we just quit disguising our excuses as reasons because what if we acknowledge you know what this isn't real I've just made this up and here's the challenge and here's the question we're going to come back to for the next few weeks because this is emotional and I'm going to give you some illustrations but either kind of light you know I'll admit that up front but just to kind of get our head in the game is it possible I'm not accusing you because I don't know you is it is it possible are you at least willing to consider that perhaps some of your reasons some of your becausees are actually just Paper Walls they're actually excuses something you've created and and the thing is you have a reason for why you created the paper wall okay the excuse you know is we present it as a reason but there is a reason we make excuses and if we ever get back to the source of our excuses we'll probably drop some of the excuses or acknowledge you know what that's just an excuse for something well it's a paper wall or an excuse maybe yours are constructed of things that someone told you maybe something someone called you maybe something someone labeled you in the past maybe it's something that someone expected of you and you didn't come through so now you're through and anytime that topic or that challenge comes up it's like oh no no because in your mind I tried that and I failed nope nope nope just not gonna do it is it possible and this is I think this is all of us at some level is it possible you've invented reasons to defend certain behaviors reactions overreactions why do you always overreact well I'll tell you why I overreact and then you present your paper wall why do you always over you know whenever your mind whenever your dad whenever we see them you just you just kind of light up why well let me tell you why and it's really just a paper wall now you got a reason because we're irrational people we have to have a because we can't say I don't know I have no idea honey but that's just what I'm gonna you know no reasonable because is it possible you have created a paper wall or an excuse for why you procrastinate about certain things why you neglect certain things why you avoid certain things is it possible you've created a paper wall for why you avoid certain kinds of people certain people certain kinds of people events circumstances opportunities I'll give you an illustration again this is kind of light I've shared this with some of you before when I was in high school our high school went from 8th to 12th we didn't have Middle School 8th 12th grade and so I was a failed High School athlete everything I tried out for did not make it now I'm tempted to tell you why because that's what we do right the reason I mean as soon as I say that I want to go the reason is because we had a big high school you know the Bible pocket but the point is I just was I just I was didn't make it as an athlete and I loved sports but I just wasn't good enough there I said it I just wasn't good enough right I mean I just you know you got to get it out there right so as I became you know started doing Ministry and got some kind of successful I got invited to speak to all these sports franchises college teams and chaplains you know the chapel before NFL game teams would come to town I get all these calls and 100 of the time it's like nope I'm busy nope I'm busy nope I'm busy I can't I would I would I would love to lie I would love to lie lie lie I would not love to I would be so intimidated I don't even know who you are I don't even know the rules to that game okay but you know I would love to but I'm too busy and I would pass off these opportunities to some of my friends oh Andy You're So humble I'm so humble it was just an excuse I was just intimidated I was just uncomfortable here's something this is big this is huge okay you know what is that the root of your excuses I know we've never met but this is true of all excuse that the root of an excuse It's blaming something internal on something external this is so Insidious it's something that's wrong with me but it's so hard to look in the mirror to me so it's I decide it's not me it's something out there and the moment I decide it's something out there the moment I decided something out there I began constructing a wall and I think I'm protecting myself I'm actually hemming myself in and I'm keeping myself out of opportunities and maybe relationships and maybe better relationships because of something I just won't admit to myself you know what happens I won't sounds like well I can't the truth is I won't but I'm not going to say I won't I just say I can't I'm afraid to try sounds like well then that's just not my thing you know that's just not me I don't really care about that the truth is I'm afraid to try but I'm not going to say I'm afraid to try I'm going to say you know that's just not my thing and after a while this becomes like a reality again it's an excuse It's a reason I've manufactured is it because I hide behind that you hide behind so back to the the sports thing for a second so um when Adrian Garrett my two sons started got interested in sports I wanted them to be interested in music that it weren't interested in music they were interested in sports because God's like I'll show you anyway so which is fine so they start playing baseball you know the eight nine ten years old so um you know they always want dads to be the coaches well do you think I volunteered to coach my sons are you kids like nope you guys got this you know I mean they're eight years old I know but you know I I'm left ready for this one hey don't laugh I'll see if you cannot laugh I'm left-handed I can't even borrow a glove get it because you know because everybody's right-handed okay yeah you didn't get it anyway I had I came up with all kinds of Paper Walls right so then the coolest or not coolest the awful thing that turned out to be a cool thing happened so um Andrew my oldest is 10 years old and they just moved up to kid pitch it's the second game I'm on the bleachers with my friend Dave because I'm not about you know I'm just gonna be you know the dad fan second game this Dad three bleachers down or three rows down the Umpire makes a call up to keep in mind these boys are 10 years old okay 10 years old and this dad goes berserk he is little he jumps down he is standing behind the Umpire his hands are wrapped around the chain link fence and he is screaming at the Umpire they are 10 years old he's lost his mind and the Empire turns around says okay and he knew his name he called him by name because he had done this before he said you need to sit down and throw you out of the park and he's just he throws his dad out of the park says leave the park and says we're holding the game so you leave the park and he's cussing and I'm sitting there going what have we signed our kids up for then our coach daddy coach comes out of the Dugout and he starts getting on the Umpire about the call and throwing his buddy out then the Umpire I'm not making any of this up umpire throws our coach out you're out leave the park then the assistant coach comes out and this is almost a quote so I guess if you're going to throw him out you're going to throw me out too throws the assistant coach out calls the game the boys are 10 years old they're like this all happened within you know a minute and a half right the game over so there's Dave and I you know and all we were the only dads there are some moms in the afternoon game and the coaches come over and say to me Andy look me and so-and-so you know we're out would you and Dave coach the next two games and I'm thinking I know I can at least not get thrown out of the game okay I think I think this is something that I if the if the bar is as low as don't get thrown out of the park I can do this I got this now my point in telling you this is this because of some stupid honestly just paper wall I almost missed out on one of the greatest joys of my life because from that moment on I started assistant coaching my boys baseball teams and when I look back on those pictures and when I drive by those baseball parks it is still emotional because of the joy to be with my sons to learn I mean it's just that that season is one of the greatest seasons in my and I'm telling you I almost missed it because I thought oh no I can't now here's the point we all have these and here's the thing do you know what's on the other side of this we don't know we just think we know and because we think we know we're like I'm too afraid I can't do that on my talent enough I didn't get education I don't know anybody whatever whatever right so is it possible it's just just you gotta think about this is it possible you're missing out because you've walled yourself in it's impossible that because it's actually an excuse and you don't accept these from your children you don't accept these from the people that you care about you don't accept these at work why in the world would we accept these in people in the mirror the person in the mirror and maybe most importantly why are we talking about this in church here's why this is so important there is a relationship between your ability not your willingness I want to be clear about this there is a relationship between your ability to follow Jesus and your willingness to push through your paper walls and to acknowledge that your reasons are excuses your big causes are actually excuses and the reason I say that is because our excuses compete for lordship of Our Lives an excuse can become your king an excuse can become your master an excuse can become your boss because you know what excuses do excuses tell you what you can't do you can't do that you shouldn't try that you shouldn't try that again you should not talk to him you should not apologize you should not acknowledge that you should you shouldn't you should you shouldn't and next thing you know your excuses are your king they're sitting on the throne of your life and you as if you're a Christian you can spend the rest of your life singing about King Jesus and serving King excuse excuses if you don't like that the throne analogy I'll modernize it they can become a board of directors nah don't try that don't talk to him don't talk to her don't show up for that don't go early don't let them know you're coming don't acknowledge that don't admit that don't admit you're wrong pliable because because because because because because let me tell you what's on the other side of this so I know the answer to this you don't have to answer it out loud and I hope I'm not you know insulting anybody but do you want excuses to be the boss of you I don't and we've never met but I know you don't but they will be the boss of us until we acknowledge they're not reasons they're not real because they're just to be causes and reasons we give they're just excuses we're making stuff up you don't want to get to the end of your life and look back and think good grief I spent my whole life behind this stupid wall there was nothing other than something I made up based on what somebody told me something I believe something I heard something I read something I was afraid of so in the the book of Hebrews in the new Old Testament New Testament the Bible is divided two parts in the New Testament the New Covenant there's a we call it a book it's not really a book it's a sermon called Hebrews we don't know who wrote Hebrews and in the document of the book of Hebrews the author is trying to get some Jewish Christians not to use the difficult time they're going through as an excuse to quit following Jesus because they were following Jesus they they hit some bumps there were some difficult things going on so we're saying look please please please don't give up following Jesus because of these difficult things that's not a good reason that really you're just you're making an excuse and in the midst of this conversation in the midst of this this document he gives a general principle that whether you're a Bible person or not a Christian person or not this is just great advice and here's what he says he says look look I know what's going on I know you got a reason for your reasons I know you know you've got a reason why you're manufacturing the fabricating these excuses but let us this is so good let us throw off everything that hinders let us as you think about the future you think about moving forward he says I want you to throw off anything that hinders and the the sort of an analogy it's kind of a sports analogy strangely enough that I don't use them much but if they're in the Bible I can't avoid them anyway he's talking about running he says anything that hinders you from running from racing from staying in your lane you just need to get rid of it rid yourself of every encumbrance rid yourself of anything that's an impediment that trips you up and this is so fascinating and or as an example of and the sin that's so easily entangles now if you used to be a Christian or you're exploring Faith what I'm going to say next is so important as you think about moving forward and maybe if you've been a Christian a long time this will put some things in perspective this word Sim if you follow Jesus Through the gospels Jesus is very specific about what sin is and he doesn't give a list here's five things not to do here's four things it doesn't do it that way do you know what sin was for Jesus so consistent sin was anything that hurt someone sin was anything that hurt someone and sin was anything that that hurt you which makes sense because if God forgot so loved the world and he loved the people in the world then he doesn't want the people in the world to get hurt so anything that hurts into the person that's what sin is and if you hurt yourself from God's perspective who loves you that's a sin lying is a sin lying is a sin because you know what lying does we talk about this lying breaks a relationship you can't have a real relationship with somebody lies to you lying breaks a relationship anything that breaks a relationship breaks God's heart because God's about relationship so lying is a sin and lying to yourself is a sin lying to yourself is a sin because lying to yourself hurts you an excuse if you want to look at it from this perspective an excuse is really just a lie we tell ourselves about ourselves I can't I'm not good enough I tried I don't you know a lot an excuse it's just a lie we tell ourselves we tell the person in the mirror about ourselves and when we when we lie to ourselves we hurt ourselves and when we hurt ourselves we sin against ourselves so when the author says I want you to get rid of anything that's an impediment to you run in your race and the sin that entangles you it includes this in fact some of you have lied to yourself you've got so many paper walls in fact before this series is over maybe before this day is over maybe we've already gotten there you you some things have already come to mind you've lied to yourself you've hurt you've hurt yourself which means this is odd but you owe yourself an apology you should go home you know sort of being facetious but maybe this would help you you need to go home and look in the mirror and apologize to yourself you know I I've been lying to you Andy and I've been holding you back I've been making up things and calling them reasons they're not reasons I've got all these because but I've been lying to you I'm not gonna lie to you anymore I promise never to do it again because those aren't reasons that's just stuff I made up and I'm standing here behind it like I can't move forward it's because I'm believing something and telling myself something that myself something that's just not true so he says come on come on come on throw this is great advice Christian or not throw off throw off everything that hinders you and the sin that so easily entangles you in other words no more excuses he says and once you do you're going to be free back to the running thing you're going to be free to run he says and once you do this is this is so I mean you can almost hear the music in the background and let us run he says let us run with perseverance or endurance the race marked out for us now this is a fascinating thing whether you're a religious person or not May determine how you interpreted this but if you're a Christian and you grew up with a notion or you believe that God has a plan for you that's your race that God has a will for your life for your family for for you know that you do something on purpose and end up with purpose and look back on your life and feel like hey I you know my life mattered he says the author says look I want you to run the race there's a race that's been marked out for all of us Jesus followers and then there's a race that's been marked out for you specifically and if you're not a Jesus follower if you're not a Christian you've got goals right I mean you've got some mental picture of what could and should be for your future and your family and the author is saying look don't lose come on don't lose your own race and don't lose your own race because you blame things that really weren't even real to begin with would you just get rid of anything that holds you back so that you could at least run and compete in the race that God has laid out for you yeah instead of just making stuff up now what he says next I want to tell you what he says next before I show you how the author says it next this is such a huge idea this could be a you know message in and of itself but we talk about these kinds of things all the time so I don't want to just keep going back and back and back what he says next and this is so subtle and this is so challenging he says you need to quit focusing on yourself do what he says yeah you need to quit focusing on yourself if you live for yourself you only have yourself to show for yourself right live for yourself in the end you only have yourself to show for yourself great funerals you know great funeral is there's so much to celebrate we run out of time do you know what a bad funeral is nobody wants to speak for the deceased Pastor Stanley you've got 30 minutes we got nothing I don't even know well it doesn't matter because there's you know there's not a lot to talk about just you know let's just get through it right live for yourself you'll only have yourself to show for yourself people who build paper walls and again Nobody Does it on purpose but people who build paper walls and live behind Paper Walls people who make excuses rarely make much of a difference if you notice that people who live behind Paper Walls and make excuses even though they're reason you know we buy their reasons at the end of the day they they rarely make much of a difference because paper walls keep you and keep me from being engaged Paper Walls they make a small they make a self-absorb paper walls they rob you and they rob others and Paper Walls Rob the people around you of you here's a harsh reality this is this is super deep you may not agree with this that's okay excuses excuses not always but maybe more times we want to admit excuses are often selfishness disguised as humility oh that was me like thanks for that opportunity but I'm busy liar you sound so humble you let the other pastors have that opportunity you look so humble you're just afraid sometimes are excuses you know they come across as humility when it's really anything but now between now and next time don't miss next time you know just acknowledge start looking for Paper Walls and decide you're going to throw off anything that gets in the way of you finishing the race that you have set out for you whether you think God has set one out for you or not okay because this is relevant to all of us whether you're a religious person or not Christian or not here's what we can all agree on we all need to shut down the excuse Factory we all need to get in the habit of saying well the re okay my excuse is well because my excuse is well I've never been well my excuse up until now has been because they just weigh you down they hold you back they rob you of potential and you know what they make you small they make us small they make us self centered and we pass it off or try to pass it off as humility some things are worth carrying forward season to season some things are worth carrying forward year to year excuses are not one of those things they need to be left behind and if you choose to leave them behind you'll be better off and if you choose to leave them behind your family will be better off or your future family will be better off and if we all decide to leave them behind the world would be a better place because we will be free to follow our savior instead of saying no for reasons that are no reason at all so let's shut down the excuse Factory let's move beyond our paper walls and in part two I'll start the process I'm telling you how so don't miss part two of Paper Walls moving beyond the excuses that hold you back hey thanks so much for watching if you enjoyed this video please make sure you check out the links on your screen for what to watch next and check out the description below where we are going to provide you with free resources designed to help you make better decisions and live with fewer regrets and again thanks for watching

Channel: Your Move with Andy Stanley

Views: 15,951

Keywords: Andy Stanley, Your Move with Andy Stanley, Your Move, better decisions, fewer regrets, how to, how to be better at life, depression, depressed, self help, how to be happier, how to have a good life, how to make better choices, choices, decisions, regret, motivation, inspiration, excuses, resolutions, new years, goals, hold you back, move forward, success, start the year well, new year new me, avoid excuses, freedom, joy

Id: U-2eiP4ovys

Length: 27min 50sec (1670 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 06 2023