Only Connect Sport Relief 2012

[Music] when the BBC lined up its shows to do something for sport relief only connect was picked last that's because only connect is terribly short cited suffers from asthma and has to wear corrective shoes nevertheless we're going to do our best play up and play the game in the hope of raising money for this very worthwhile charity to which end some fantastic quizzes have come along giving their time on the off charts that you will feel inspired to make a donation I am delighted to say that they are on my right an accomplished actor writer of Doctor Who and Sherlock member of the league of gentlemen presenter of a history of horror he's a lover of all things dark and twisted what took him so long to show up on only connect Mark gatis journalist reporter and winner of celebrity Mastermind she speaks fluent French German and Hindi but who doesn't Samir Ahmed and their Captain award-winning novelist film writer and a man who was once ranked in the times as the world's fourth worst famous football fan three places behind Hitler but Hitler hates sport relief so tonight we booked Nick Hornby all admirers of the Cy film breaking away they are the Cutters awesome Nick as a sports fan you presumably got a competitive streak when playing a quiz for charity how much do you care about winning it's the only thing that matters really I don't care if we take n pound not pee for charity as long as his lock gets smashed tonight you will be facing on my left a great journalist Arts critic columnist and novelist author of the bestselling I don't know how she does it about the trials of being a working mother which I'll know all about if I ever become a mother or do any work Allison Pearson another celebrity Mastermind winner star of greenwing and episodes a man with a degree in law and R training so was surely put on this Earth to play Judge John deed but sadly born too late Steven Mangan and their Captain Ian Hislop a man who's so professional that he once appeared on have I got news for you despite suffering from appendicitis considered the most pain a man has ever been in while recording a TV quiz which I am personally taking as a challenge all Keen tennis fans they are the backhanders Ian this is a quiza of sport relief are you hoping for a lot of questions about sport uh yes um particularly tennis we're very keen on tennis and uh we might be able to do that one apart from that who knows you've played only connect once before what advice can you give to your teammates well more advice for Nick really is is don't lose um because last time it was embarrassing and he was he was very very hurt um so I think it would be better if he didn't well in order for somebody to lose we'd better get on and play the quiz we are quizzing tonight of course in Aid of sport relief helping vulnerable people in the UK and around the world if you can afford to give something please go to bbc.co.uk sport relief or phone [phone] but no phoning anyone here you have only got your own brains in which to look for the answers canders you won the toss please choose an Egyptian hieroglyph Allison going to go for water good Cho water all right this is going to be the first question of the sport relief special time starts now Speedy robber help next yeah next Mexican next you want the last one I don't know what it is at the moment so yes oh next it is iguana 10 seconds they're all connected but how you've got 3 seconds Mexico Mexico talk me through that logic I thought Speedy Gonzalez um of are they types of lizard I'm afraid I can't take a second answer okay how about a third yeah types of toothpaste Mexico toothpaste that's not it so what is the connection Cutters you have the chance of a bonus then they're not types of hat they might make rather lovely hats but they are not these are all the literal names of dinosaurs Speedy robber Velociraptor iguan tooth Iguanodon rof lizard is a Stegosaurus and thre horned face anyone I'll be running out of town for that Triceratops Triceratops oh dear would you like to leave now yeah but you may not because Cutters is your turns tell me the connection between four apparently random Clues which set would you like could we have the Eye of Horus please you certainly may what is the connection here first clue coming up [Music] now motorcycle CLS next next [Music] next that's changed next ins chips chips chips poker uh chips chips is the answer Erica Strada the motorcycle cop from chips Victoria Corin I believe is a is a poker player of some sort inspiration to degenerates everywhere a self- mythologizing question I I don't know who you're talking I've never met her I hope I never do I don't approve of that non you could have gone at Eric Estrada but it was too risky was yeah I knew at Eric estada if you stopped it too I'd have like to hear they're all motorcycle cops what we would have Intel is a computer chip manufacturer and Harry Ramson the founder of a fish and chip restaurant chain chips is the connection very well done over to you backhanders to choose a question Ste two reads please two reads ah it's the music question what is the link between these pieces of music first one coming in now next Mountain oh brilliant I wasn't expecting that the first one was night on a Bear Mountain the second one was ain't no mountain high Ain't No Mountain High Enough we would have heard in the Hall of the Mountain King and Climb Every Mountain but not needed after two Clues you get three points I didn't think you'd recognize the first one why not you didn't look like you had oh we we we don't want to give anything away look at them they're all wearing glasses they can see apart from Samir obviously do we not look like Maori fans pictures of an exhibition coming up next come on that was brilliant you get three points for coming in after two Clues back to the Cutters to choose a hieroglyph uh the horned viper the horned viper what is the connection here time starts now next nextos was the first one next second upside down they're the same upside down and the right way up they look the same when printed upside down that's absolutely right very well done points there this is a rather hotly contested quiz this evening your turn backhanders Alison uh lion all right these are going to be picture Clues first one coming up now next a gol that yes next those feet feet dog leg it's a dog leg is that golf hole it's a dog leg crow's feet crow's feet it's so they're all parts of animals should we get the next Cat's Eyes cat's eyes they're all parts of animals anal they are made made up by an animal and a body part dog leg crows feet cat's SI what was the first one um Lion har it's Richard lionhart you noticed that I think Steph with the dog leg are you a golfer uh I've played I've been around you know occasionally it's like admitting to being in the yes I am I have done no I've what golf where is golf you should see the trousers he's got on under here oh yeah wait till the wall I believe there is only one question remaining the Twisted flax that will be for you Cutters first clue coming up now next parliamentary insult parliamentary insults political insults their famous political insults quite brilliant can you give me any more detail well uh being Savaged by a dead sheep was I think Dennis Healey's description of Jeffrey how um Ginger rodent was description Alexander yes Danny Alexander by Harriet Harmon that's right what about these new ones Norman tbit is a semi house trained pulat according to Michael foot yes star conru that was thater I think very well deduced that was Tony Banks talking about Margaret thater oh it was I don't knock it that's my inspiration in this chair St B constrictor are they in in your experience of politicians witty um I think there very low standard in the house of commment that passes for wit so if you make a reasonable joke everyone thinks you're a genius which is why I'm standing for Parliament as soon as possible I think it's the same with being handsome or or good-looking or beautiful politically handsome is very different to the real world yes yes just cuz you've got those glasses I'm now daydreaming about Michael Portillo after a very impressive round one the backhanders have got four points but the Cutters are ahead with six we are quizzing tonight in Aid of sport relief which helps vulnerable people in Britain and around the world if you can afford to make a donation please go to bbc.co.uk sport relief or phone [phone] meanwhile we are going to play round two the sequence is round there are still four Clues all of them connected but you may not see the fourth because I want to know what it is okay backhanders you'll be going first again please choose a question Stephen uh let's uh the horned viper please okay what is the fourth in this sequence here's the first so is that is that a book as about you yeah we get the name yes next all right warm heart I mean how's that work up zero next no no oh un cool here what's really uncool the sort of oh god um 5 [Music] Seconds what are we going to say we are going to say um a lovely dress you're wearing by the way thank you very much you've got the points so no it isn't actually the answer lame I'm afraid it's not lame as there is a bonus chance for the Cutters hot hot hot no that's not it either the answer is seriously uncool this is the sequence on top gears cool wall where they determine how cool a given car is yes well done everybody we told this was an upm Market questions about jorski questions please no points then on the top gear question but Cutters you may choose a new one can we have lion please you certainly could what is the fourth in this sequence here's the first next should this Nick get exp leg leg leg leg leg two leg three legs four legs yes anything [Music] we're going to say a cat or any other four-legged animal I'm going to give you the points we went with a far more exciting zebra okay you can have it for cat why uh Long John Silva has one leg League Cup semi-finals are over two legs uh a mons triskelion I presume has three legs it's the three-legged symbol of the aisle of man Celtic symbol and anything with four legs a zebra or a cat would be next very well done over to you then backhanders we're in serious trouble here you realize we're getting whopped we have to start cheating well now's Your Chance Allison Eye of Horus the Eye of Horus first in a sequence coming up now next next oh don't know much about history don't know much about bi don't know much about algebra don't know much about the books I wrote what is it I hate to interrupt okay it's from that song don't know much about French French very good What a Wonderful World third in the sequence would be science book fourth would be French or French I took they are things from the Sam Cook song don't know much about well calculated back to you then Cutters to pick a question Twisted flax please the Twisted flax what is the fourth in this sequence time starts now next next next measurements 10 seconds we have to get 15 we're going to try 15 for what reason self-evident reasons because it goes 17 and a half 15 17 and 1 12 15 that's the sequence oh that sequence to complicated explain we can't explain you wouldn't understand I'm afraid that's not the sequence we had in mind so there's a possible bonus chance for the backhanders it's V8 T we think 17 and a half 15 17 so the fourth is 20% that is exactly right V rate percentages up and down like a bride's nighty 20 only the Super Rich would get that right they said they were going to start cheating all right then backhanders your turn for a question Allison uh water fair enough what is the fourth in this sequence here's the first Bridges and next there got be one equals something at the end is is it is it is it yes the should we get the third one yes next [Music] 5 Seconds how many it's there one two seconds what's the one it's one one equals folston I'm afraid it doesn't so Cutters you have the chance of a bonus is it one equals Cal that's not it either this sequence is the termin or final destinations of a roads if you're traveling from London the A4 goes to a mouth A3 to Portsmouth A2 to DOA 1al Edinburgh A1 to Edinburgh one final remaining question for the Cutters it's the two reads these are going to be picture Clues what would you expect to see in the fourth picture time starts [Music] now next boy that's absolutely right right can you tell me the reason one for sorrow two for Joy Adamson three for a girl four for a boy that's right Joy Adamson Vango painting sorrow there girl a boyie there you are the number of magpies and what they equate to in Su very impress it was actually another low watching children's Telly was worth it wasn't it looking at the scores then at the end of round two the backhanders have got a very creditable eight points but the stuts are ahead with 12 oh what's the time why it's connecting wall clock 16 clues all jumbled up which the teams must sort into four connected groups of four your turn to go first this time Cutters I can offer you the choice lion or water we'd very much like water please okay you have got two and a half minutes to solve the water wall starting now beaten Greek island okay should we go for Beaton beat be and lettuce L Roso uh Tom let's do Lett first hold on hold on cuz we're doing it to um we we know that Tom stoper plays as well okay so do the lettuce let's do the lettuce do we know the fourth l I don't know the fourth letters well should we do the others first let's let's do Arcadia let's do the Tom stop play so that's jumpers Arcadia Trad three strikes and you're out now be careful so we've got three we know what they are it's it's Greek Islands and salad right right is that a salad yes it is it is they sell it in um yeah so thean Co and L Roso yes you sol the oh in less than half the time excellent work very good stuff right that's four points for the groups you can get extra points for the connections of course roads Beaton Dill de Lewis they famous cesil they're famous cils what can you tell me about them CES roads of radisha Fame and Roads house in Oxford beon uh glamour photographer and international sensation c v c an initial of B yes fil director and CES de Lewis father of Daniel day and poet La yes a perfect answer they are all cels next one travesty Arcadia the real thing jumpers these are all plays by Tom stard all plays by Tom stard you seemed quick on those Samir did my I did my thesis on Thomson ah ah it would have been an awkward one you hadn't got that right people say University education is a waste but look how it's paid off look where it's brought me Victoria you got the Stu on my mom's so proud and the next one Iceberg Batavian L Roso these are all lettuces or um yes lettuces but Batavian or whatever is the only one that that Nick knows cuz he can buy it in his Posh sandwich shop yes in North London had to ask what it was only recently I thought it was a cheese but in fact it's a letter taste and very tasteless I would say every every one of them every man Jack of them tasteless especially four of those yes four tasteless lettuces and the last group itha PA sauce left yoa uh we think these are uh Greek Islands Greek Islands they're simply islands of Greece so you found all four groups that's four points you told me all four connections that's four points you get two extra points for getting it all right that is the maximum of 10 excellent stuff time to bring in the backhanders and see what they can do with the connecting wall they will of course get 16 new Clues still jumbled up still need sorting into those four connected groups of four right backhanders it's going going to be the lion wall for you you've got 2 and a half minutes to solve it starting now Great Bear is a constellation isn't it Big Dipper is a constellation the flow the four Sylvester Catherine and J um lady Great Bear J gray Great Bear they three Jane Jane gr Jane Tom Tom sawy great what we doing great bear definitely Big Dipper what plow What Jane gray Lee great check what are what's the financial thing theater check Garfield is that a nickname for a plow theater is Charles's Wayne um uh yes should we try conation Okay one two um right there FL there we go Janes Jane a Jane gray no it's is it heat Cliff air these are the heroins of eraw is ising Heights Heath Cliff you've used a minute are these all the people in height noer Tom TI what is TI what is TI Garfield A Cat checkfield Sylvester a cat Sylvester a cat yes there it's a cat Heath Cliff is a cat is it yes and Tom is a cat Tom Heath Cliff Sylvester and Garfield okay well done and you're out now okay Gray uhor licorice Jane is she Jane a Jane Jane Lady Jane gray yeah theater licorice snow Jane snow maybe should we try Jane for snow yeah about Richard a theater Richard a no yeah try that very well done that is four points immediately for the groups you found I will give you extra points for the connections the first group great bear Charles's Wayne Big Dipper plow their constellations they are in the Stars they are all the same constellation same constellation different names which one uh the one that goes like this yes it's that one Ursa Major I knew you knew very good so that's an extra point and the next one Tom Sylvester Heathcliff Garfield they're all cats all cats they're all cats all cartoon cats carat cartoon cat and the next one ear Shaw air gray snow are they all called Jane I'm afraid they are not all called Jane Richard it's cathine Earnshaw from weing Heights Jane A J Agnes Gray from that novel by Anne Bronte and Lucy snow from Vette they all they're all bronty heroins they're all bronty heroins they're not all Jane and the last group now this is a tricky one TI licorice check theater they are different in American that's for sure theater is ER and Check Yes they're all and ties T they're all English versions which are spelled different in American that's what it is they are all words that have spell differently in American English than our UK English very well done so that is four points for the groups that you found three extra points for the connections that's a total of seven points let's see what that does to the scores going into round four the backhanders have got 15 points but the Cutters are ahead with 22 yes I've put on some toweling things things to give everything a sporty flavor have you remember to make a donation no excuses if you forget you'll have to play the connecting wall in your pants how will you do that well if you go to our website you'll find a special connecting wall for sport relief meanwhile teams I'm going to try to forget what I look like while we play round four the missing vowels round well-known names phrases or sayings from which we've removed the vowels squidged up the consonants and I want to know what those disguised Clues are fingers on buzzers then the first group are all things you may not sell on [Music] eBay Cutters Swiss Army knives correct backhanders Party Poppers correct backhanders raw depleted uranium I tried he can't sell it next clue Cutters contact lenses correct next category Alan partridges format ideas don't remember this great idea it's cooking in prison next [Music] clue a miracle that's not on TV already Cutters armrest hasn't da correct next clue it's a natural for television inner city Sumo next clue Cutters monkey tennis of course monkey tennis next category orange prize for fiction winning authors Cutters l or shrier yes it is backhanders Barber King vver correct good backhanders Andra ly yes it is backhanders s Smith good work next category famous wearers of swimsuits Cutters b d correct next [Music] clue I'm afraid you can't give me the answer it is Betty gyel but me blowing a whistle means the quiz is over looking at the final scores then the backhanders have got an excellent 20 points but the winners with 28 are the Cutters very well done very well done all of you excellent quizzing I would say all around thank you for watching and so only connect wheezes off the pitch grasping for its inhaler vowing that next time it'll bring a note from its mom please do give something to sport relief if you can goodbye so don't forget sport relief itself is Friday from 7 on BBC 1 Steven Mangan stays with us now here on BBC 4 though for dirk gently next [Music] [Applause] [Music]

Channel: Mark Gatiss

Views: 111,795

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Id: 9Yyb_sVBglQ

Length: 29min 2sec (1742 seconds)

Published: Mon May 26 2014