- I've been songwriting for so long, ever since I could write. This was kind of my first experience writing something I knew would be heard, but I kind of just had to
remember that you have to come from a place of
truth and authenticity and so that's what I tried
to do with this song. I play Nini in High School
Musical: The Musical: The Series and she's just growing up
and being a teenage girl and taking her SATs and
dealing with boy problems and all of these issues that
I'm all too familiar with. I wrote a song on my
Instagram maybe 6 months ago and I posted it. The Disney Plus executive
sent it to our producers and said we want a ballad for Nini and we want it to be like
this song that Olivia wrote and so our showrunner was like, well why would we have
somebody else write a song that you want to sound
like a Olivia Rodrigo song, so he was just like,
let's skip the middle man and have Olivia write it. I wrote this song by myself, which was really cool
that they let me do that. I feel like Nini and I
share so many experiences that I was kind of just writing
as Olivia and also as Nini, which was really great. It was a great exercise as
an actor and a songwriter to get to write this song. So this first verse is referring to EJ, which is Nini's kind of
fling at the time of the song is sung in the series. He's great and he's like a 4.0 student and he really believes in Nini and Nini really needs that at the time. But she finds out later
that she only got a part in a play that they were
doing at summer camp because he gave the girl that
was supposed to play the part a rotten egg and Nini was the understudy. And so she kind of found
out that she got it because of this weird,
fraudulent thing that he did and so she was kind of upset at him and he also stole her
phone which wasn't good and so he was kind of being deceitful and she was noticing that and so that's kind of
where that line comes from. It was definitely referring
to EJ kind of interfering in Nini's career life and her
being like, you know what, I didn't need you to do this for me, I can be successful
without your intervention. And I think that's something
that's so true for me too. I'm very stubborn and
I like getting things because I got them off of
my own merit, you know? And it's also kind of just
a really empowering line, I think it speaks to a lot
of different situations. So this verse is referring to Ricky, which is Nini's ex-boyfriend
and they dated for a year and she said "I love you" to him and he didn't say it back
and she was heartbroken and then he broke up with her, not to give away too many spoilers but she just was always
kind of in love with him but always felt like he
wasn't loving her back enough. She felt like it wasn't reciprocated, so that's where that line comes from. That was the line that
I kind of resonated with as Olivia the most. I feel this way in a lot of relationships, I'm like a very loving person and I love doing things for people and serving them and giving all of my time
and energy and appreciation into one person and then
that's not given back, it's kind of tough and I
think that's kind of something we all really do, even in
non romantic relationships. And definitely something
Nini was feeling at the time. So, I say that I'm through but
this song is still for you. I think it's kind of this relatable thing where we all tell our best friend, "I'm done with him, he's terrible, I'm just completely over it" and then you go on Instagram at like 2 am and look at all the
pictures you have together. This line especially is just showing how far Nini has to grow. This compared to where she
is in the latter episodes just shows her character arc
and her growth as a person. In this, and I think
Nini feels the same way, I think I was trying to articulate how I wanted and she wanted something like a long lasting relationship where somebody just respected you and loved you unconditionally. We've all been there. I was actually talking to
my mom about boy problems and she's like "there's
nothing wrong with you" and so that's kind of where it came from. Funny, mom gets some writer's credit. Sometimes being in love with a person who doesn't love you the
same way can feel kind of like degrading to you
when you're wondering, oh maybe if I was prettier or
more interesting or funnier, then they wouldn't act this
way, but it's totally not true, it has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you. I think Nini has still
yet to figure that out. I have really high expectations as I think we all should have. Set the bar high ladies
and gents and everyone. I think in this song especially
I was just referring to someone who loves you in the
same way that you love them. Somebody who's trustworthy and decent and has dignity and does the right thing. I feel like sometimes I
say I'm super feministy, I don't need a man, I'm
totally fine by myself, but sometimes I don't always feel that way and I know that I should and I think lots of people
feel that way probably and that's okay. I feel like Nini is really
working on finding herself and realizing that she
can be self sufficient and self reliant and loving herself is the most important love. I am very young and still
probably very naive. Past Olivia thinking
about all these ideal guys that she would find in her life and not being able to find that guy and probably past Nini
reflecting on all of the people that she's dreamt up in her head that aren't actually
existent in real life. I think I still do believe
in happy ever after. Like I said, I'm still
pretty young and naive, but I think it's
definitely attainable, but who knows maybe it's
not the romantic part in me, maybe it's with yourself. In the first chorus I say
'Shouldn't that be enough for me' and then in the last
chorus, the last line is 'All I want is for that to be okay'. So, all I have is myself
at the end of the day, all I want is for that to be okay, because really Nini is
kind of realizing how she wants to be this person who's self confident and self
reliant and really doesn't need other people's
validation to feel whole and to feel good about herself. I think her coming to that realization at the end of the song
is kind of indicative of kind of the larger plot
that goes on in the series. Olivia has felt that too, you know? All I want is to feel
alright in my own skin and feel confident enough to then go on and have romantic relationships
where I feel good about myself and I don't need anybody
else, if that makes sense?
