(lighthearted music) - [Narrator] Hey Psych2Goers. Welcome back to a brand
new Psych2Go video, made possible through your
continued love and support. Today's video is brought to
you in collaboration with Gary Trosclair from Choosing Therapy. Let's begin. You may have heard of
the more well known, OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but have you heard of Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. Obsessive Compulsive Personality
Disorder also known as OCPD is a personality disorder, and therefore affects
the entire personality, while OCD is an anxiety disorder and is characterized by the
presence of specific obsessions. Partners with OCPD can be
a curse and a blessing. They can be rigid,
controlling, and critical, but they can also be dependable, hardworking, and conscientious. Usually, people with full-blown OCPD present great challenges
to a relationship. The non-compulsive partner can only do so much to
improve the situation, but that limited amount can still make a significant difference. Some individuals have both OCPD and OCD, which tends to magnify the
symptoms of both conditions, but people with OCPD do not have insight into the disruptions that the symptoms create in their lives. They get lost in details and forget the original
intention of their projects. OCPD results from a combination of genetic and environmental factors. Not everyone with OCPD is the same. Some people with the disorder
are more domineering, some are more workaholic, some are overly eager to
please and some procrastinate. The domineering variety usually present the greatest
difficulties in relationships. Though, workaholics, because they are unavailable
and procrastinators because they don't meet
their responsibilities may also cause distress in relationships. Before we begin, please remember this video
is for informative purposes and not to be used for self-diagnosis. In case of doubt, opting
for professional help is always the best option. With that said, here's how relationships are affected by OCPD. OCPD and relationships. Sometimes it is impossible
to improve a relationship with an OCPD partner, because many people with
the condition are convinced that their way of living is superior and they're not open to change, but some are willing to change and enlist their obsessive
compulsive determination into improving their role as a partner. Misunderstanding a partner with OCPD can make a challenging situation worse as their behavior results
from a combination of misguided good intentions and anxiety about being
good enough as a person. While people with OCPD may appear to be confident and in control, they're usually deeply
insecure underneath. This is why you always feel
the need to be perfect. So, while your behavior may appear to be driven by self-interest,
disrespect, or indifference, your motivations are
actually very different. If, as the non-compulsive partner, you interpret their
actions as being demeaning, you may miss not only
their positive motivations but also their underlying anxiety. When both partners
anxieties become inflamed and both become afraid
to be close to the other, it's all downhill from there. Number one. Anxiety leads to control. Do they make our demand about
how to cook, how to dress, what to eat, what to say,
and how to make love? The first way that OCPD
affects relationships is that the compulsive partner out of fear of things going wrong tries to control what
happens in the relationship, and to control how the
non-compulsive partner behaves. While the intention of
the compulsive partner is usually to be helpful, it usually feels anything but
helpful for the other person. Number two. Too much time at work may lead to neglect. Do they spend it ordinary
amounts of time at work and abandon their partner? The non-compulsive partner
would interpret this to mean that the compulsive
partner doesn't care about them or doesn't enjoy being with them. However, there could be
many other reasons for this, including an actual addiction to work. Another possible reason is that
the compulsive partner fears not only failing at work but more importantly, in the relationship. Since relationships don't come naturally, their perfection may lead
them to focus on work because they have more control
and more self-assurance that they can succeed there. Number three. Control discourages vulnerability. Are they reluctant to
show any vulnerability as they pursue perfection? Another way OCPD affects the relationship is that both partners
stop being vulnerable in the relationship, and this usually leads to it becoming dry, lifeless, and unfulfilling. But this presentation along with frequent commands and demands may end up leaving the
non-compulsive partner afraid to express their
real feelings and needs for fear of being
criticized or humiliated. If you are the non-OCPD partner, you may also begin to distance yourself from your partner for fear of
being emotionally dependent on someone that is
critical or unavailable. Number four. Unhealthy division of
labor limits both partners. Have they become more
machine-like with time, counting pennies and minutes
and rules and fractions? When one partner has OCPD, both partners may fall into
an unhealthy division of labor in terms of chores and emotions. As the compulsive partner, you take responsibility
for all the organizing, cleaning, planning, and accounting. You typically feel a great
deal of responsibility and are usually very frightened
of getting something wrong or making a mistake. Some compulsives in their
efforts to do the right thing may be very compliant, but
later resent that compliance, possibly becoming passive-aggressive
or exploding in anger. You may not develop the
capacity for leisure, humor, play and other less serious activities if you feel you can't afford to loosen up because of the responsibility they carry. On the other hand, if the
non-compulsive partner is put into the position of the one who has to carry all
of the emotions and affection and none of the accomplishments
in the relationship, they may fail to develop their
own gifts and personality. As the non-competitive partner, you begin to believe
that you're incompetent, and so less likely to take the risks that are essential to a full life, but not all hope is lost. With perspective,
communication, and self-care as three of the most important tools, you can improve your relationship
with a compulsive partner. Any one of the three alone will
probably not be sufficient, but the three together may
be able to shift the balance towards a more healthy and
fulfilling relationship. We hope we're able to give you insight into the ways OCPD can be
lethal for relationships. Did this video helped you
learn more about OCPD? What other topics would
you like us to talk about? Leave a comment down below and feel free to share any
thoughts you have as well. If you found this video helpful, be sure to hit the like button and share it with those out there who wanna learn more about OCPD. Don't forget to subscribe to Psych2Go and hit the notification
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