Nurses, What's The Strangest Thing You Caught A Patient Doing?

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nsw doctors and nurses offered it despite knocking before entering a patient's room what's the strangest thing you've walked in on a patient doing one parents freaking on their hospital bed while they're 15 year old child the patient is sleeping too child putting playdough in the jackson pratt right after having a liver transplant three nurse kneeling in front of a teen patient had the patience back to me so i couldn't see what the nurse was doing and the patient says yes that feels good this way turns out she was only changing the bandage on his ankle four as i opened my patient's door i can only see the doctor dancing on furniture for the uninitiated like me ajax and pratt drain also called ajp drain is a closed suction medical device that is commonly used as a post-operative drain for collecting bodily fluids from surgical sites the device consists of an internal drain connected to a grenade shaped bulb via plastic tubing i walked in on two ladies getting it on i apologized told them i'd give them a few minutes to finish up and come back later i'll give you a few minutes to finish up stand in the corner go on working in euro psych the strangest thing i have walked in on was a fully cognitive 18 year old male freaking his biological mother the freaking was consensual and they both seem to be enjoying themselves however needless to say the mother was denied a private presence and given limited visiting hours after that that mother sucker i had a patient with dementia who constantly carried around a bible apparently i resembled her daughter and she would call me by her daughter's name every time i walked into her room she would scream at me for freaking that boy and hit me with her bible it was an interesting shift that i know did ptsd time and va psych ward was the only female patient old grizzle veteran with wet brain was forever taking this woman's frillies from the unit's laundry she would find him ambling down the passage wearing her skivvies or bra he would grin offer to return m nope then told her she reminded him of his daughter not an opponent i am a student midwife one of the midwives i have worked with walked in on a couple freaking in a private room in an attempt to induce labor themselves before the doctors could get at them they didn't even notice it's okay it's a medical procedure ellen amp d nurse walked in on a labyrinth patient squatted over the floor trying to poop right next to the bedside commode she had just been situated on she said that it felt more natural few okay yes it is better to squat to do the deed it was odd because she was squatting on the floor with nothing underneath to catch her impending bowel movement i am constantly horrified by poop stories from nurses the only thing more awkward than walking in on a patient using their central line to inject h is having to listen to them try to convince you that they were not just using their central line to inject h i had very early in my medical career let's not forget that as awkward and embarrassing it was for me the situation was surely worse for the patient we are both human beings doing our best to get through a hard day well nurse as you can see this age appeared in the room and i am trying to get rid of it for the safety of this hospital you would be very surprised at how much old person freaking is going on most of the time it's when a man is in the hospital and his wife comes to visit him they just climb right into those beds and get freaky god bless the frisky geriatric bastards when hooked up to heart monitor they can freak out some nurses oh zero paramedic germany not full sanitar we take our long words seriously last week get a call to pick up an elderly lady from the hospital and drive her to another hospital to get her tep hip replacement put in we walk in she's there with a young guy she introduces as her great nephew and who helps her put her stuff together we tell her to pack up go get paperwork started and i go back for her to sign the transfer papers insurance mostly knock open she's on the bed playing with herself and sucking off the guy who's standing next to it on his tipper toes so he can reach her he did a double take told the guy that he could press the button to lower the bed so he didn't have to stand on his toes and gave them a few more minutes knock open she's on the bed playing with herself and sucking off the guy who's standing next to it on his tipper toes so he can reach her he did a double take told the guy that he could press the button to lower the bed so he didn't have to stand on his toes and gave them a few more minutes that's one dedicated cougar this happened to another nurse the married father of a 12 year old patient who just had open heart surgery and was heavily sedated was hitting on a nurse i work with at 10 pm he mentioned she looked stressed and offered to massage her she declined and laughed it off at 12 a.m she went back in the room and he tried to massage her back without asking she told him no in no uncertain terms and figured that was the end of it at 4am she walked in and he was standing there naked and tried to seduce her she called security who then called his wife explaining to her why she had to come pick her husband up at 4am in the morning and why he was no longer allowed in the hospital man gambled on 33 and lost hard i walked in on a couple in the middle of a heavy mclearat session only to later find out that they were brother and sister that was awkward oh those lannisters [Music] during my first clinical rotation for nursing a classmate of mine did an assessment on an older patient and came out saying she is absolutely his suicide risk i'm getting her actual nurse turns out the patient's husband had passed away and she was talking about how she missed him along with saying things like i'm just tired of doing this i just want to see him again and life just seems pointless now these are huge red flags for suicide risk the classmate asked another classmates to go in and stay with the patient until the nurse could come in to check on her when the other student walked in the patient had a handful of her blood pressure meds she dropped them on the ground and started crying first time ever being nurses and we have a patient almost kill herself absolutely insane second day on the job and a patient and labor ward tried to kill herself due to postpartum psychosis via electrocution i spent the entire night on suicide watch she stuck her hand into the socket of a light bulb had to amputate most of her index finger her family wanted to take her out the next day for an exorcism emt had a call for protruding object so my partner and i rushed to the patient's apartment when is so opened the door we saw him laying down with his butt sticking up and a blanket covering there was something protruding from his shitute we peek under the blanket to see a thawed fish tail sticking out his butthole story was they tried riding back doors with a frozen fish and the fish thawed with the body heat and the scales got lodged in his [ __ ] shoot cavity funny part was as my partner and i rolled him into the air my partner hummed the theme song to jaws i lost my crap i found a patient dead in her bed once barely half an hour after i last saw her being awake well and confident she'd be discharged in a few days not me but my mom is a nurse that works in intensive care she told me about this one patient who wouldn't talk to anyone except for one of her co-workers debbie so naturally debbie was the one who always got this patient when he spoke to her he would be sincerely sweet and super nice always trying to be a gentleman well one day debbie wasn't there and my mom got to take care of the man when she went to check on him he was scribbling on a notepad and as he noticed her he tried to hide the notebook and accidentally dropped it on the floor my mom picked it up and as she handed it back to him she skimmed over what he had written for days he had been scribbling and dark writing frick debbie and killed debbie and disturbing stories about him murdering her he was transferred to the mental ward shortly after that's the definition of a debbie downer girlfriend is a nurse does not have a redit account and wanted me to post this story here it goes i had a patient that was a 60 year old constipated woman and she was in the hospital for a couple of days trying to get help for her constipation we had tried everything from enemas to laxatives and nothing seemed to work i went into her room to give her an update that we were going to call her doctor and that's when it happened she was laying on her side with her buff facing the door with her hand dug into her butthole digging out the crap with her fingers like an ice cream scooper i kind of just looked at her not knowing what to do or say but the look on her face was one of pure joy and satisfaction needless to say she got it all out and the entire bed was covered in her fecal matter no corn though i know this because i was the one who had to clean it up tldr walked in on a human pooper scooper i dated a nurse and she mentioned having to dig faces out of severely constipated patients and how satisfying it was when you succeeded and how frustrating it was when it retreated further up into the bowels out of reach we were eating ice cream at the time when she told me this and she just blabbed away about this as if she were just talking about the weather i had a patient with hepatic encephalopathy i walked into his room to give him a cup of water and he was drinking out of his urinal strange but understandable as the patient was very confused and quite old and on some good stuff walked in to pick up a tray i'm food service and the patient had his knife just a butter knife and was trying to soar out his catheter but up higher than the exposed part of the catheter i convinced him to give me the silverware before he could saw through his dong or at least lacerated pretty good and hit the call button and made sure nursing knew what was going on seen plenty of other strange things as the floor i work on is the psych floor and another wing is oncology they are often on some strong stuff and also brain cancer makes you do odd things this one just stuck out the most in a registration collecting patient and insurance info when they wanted to be seen often i'll visit the room twice once to collect info and the second time to put the armband on the patient i registered a female patient and when i returned with the armband i opened the door to see her boyfriend going to town on her down there female patient was wanting to be seen for her green tea discharge i'll never forget that i was about to perform a colonoscopy in the patient with shoving m m's in his rectum said he wanted to give me an easter egg hunt they were the larger peanut m ms at least a small bag's worth the nurses wouldn't eat them nurses had a peanut allergy this can't be true i admitted this elderly bedridden patient who had a daughter with him she claimed she was his caregiver i was about to find out how true that was i'm at the desk when he goes into v-fib we bust in there with the cart ready to save this dude's life we throw the curtain back and this lady is jacking off her dad furiously while he lay in the bed just having died we coded him but to no avail after the code my charge asked what she was doing her response whenever he gets worked up it's the only thing that calms him down that was my first experience with not being able to even wasn't me but to nurse i worked with walked in on a patient and her visitor doing the dirty and by dirty i mean dirty imagine the amount of growth crap that's gone down in a not to mention the woman wasn't not exactly ladylike turns out the patient was a rage that would occasionally bring her jones to the air to frick she knew to say she had a lady problem so that she got a room with a door that's kind of in the corner i guess if you need a room with a bed there isn't a bad place although possibly the grossest setting possible needless to say whenever she checks and now she no longer allowed to close the door in a slightly related story there was another guy who was so tall that he could stand up and see above the height of the curtain he also happened to be a chronic masturbator he'd either call the nurses into the room so they'd see him going to town on his dong or he'd stand up and stare at all the nurses while he beat off he's also not allowed to close the curtain anymore i had a cna certificate and worked as a third shift cna in a dementia ward during college i thought it would be a quiet job but apparently that's when all the weird stuff happened i had one patient that popped out his eyes i knocked on his door just for the bialy wellness check and he didn't respond walked into his room and he was just sitting on the edge of his bed like he was waiting for me i had to write the incident report after the nurse popped the eyes back in he said a ghost told him to do it an older lady with alzheimer's that was giving oral to another resident she apparently followed him all around the nursing home because he looked just like her husband i felt so bad having to report this incident to the husband it is required to notify kin when incident reports occur in my state since he faithfully visited her twice a day every day as an icu nurse we get the super sick which also sometimes means super crazy here are a few off the top of my head one a gal who had a catheter in her femoral artery for vascular surgery standing beside her bed crapping on the floor she was supposed to be laying completely flat in bed to prevent that cath from being pulled out when we yelled at her to stop she just looked us in the eyes and kept pooping too this one wasn't me but a friend she had a patient selling drugs from her hospital bed i guess a number of people just kept coming and going from her room at all hours so they got suspicious and called security three we had this paraplegic who would come see us every other month he would unpack his white glove and we would get the heck out of his room we only walked in on him rubbing one out once but that was enough that glove still haunts my memories four had an alcohol withdrawal who was severely hallucinating and just wanted a cigarette higher level management caught me in there with her smoking i gave her an unsharpened pencil and let her puff away we got some strange looks but she wasn't screaming and was pretty content so i was happy not me but a co-worker according to her a psych patient was picking scabs off his abdomen and eating them all y'all are nasty not a doctor or nurse but i worked in mental illness and treatment as a therapeutic specialist for years the psychiatrist that ran the show for a set of physically shamed victims prescribed them called cobs to handle their physical urges this unit was for adolescents usually around 14 16. i went to get one of the girls for activities time and sure enough she hadn't followed protocol for happy time by leaving a no tape to her window and i walked in on her going to town on her corn cob that was an interesting incident report to write my wife is also in a similar position it was shocking to me how often doctors prescribe corn cobs to patents i mean it's better than a mentally ill woman breaking herself on her toothbrush it's still incredible that something like that exists in 2015. worked as a tech at a local hospital one night a woman came in via ambulance in full cardiac arrest she died a little while later after she passed myself and another tech were told to go make her presentable for the family you know remove the tubes needles straighten her sheets and gown she was a larger woman so we were bent over her going about our tasks when she moved not a little a lot as in she almost sat up she was having post-mortem spasms think it's called lazarus syndrome anyway we freaked the frick out and ran screaming from the room all the doctors and nurses nearly pee themselves laughing thankfully the family had not arrived i work at an assisted living place they are not really called patients there they are called residents regardless saw an 85 year old guy jerking it to pornhub while his wife was in the next room with the door open she's basically 100 deaf and i'm sure he's just making sure his prostate stays in check still kind of weird to see i have a story from the patient's perspective i was in the hospital with a torchless appendix surgery went well and i was going to be allowed to leave after one night the morning i was set to leave i'm completely doubled over in pain but they wanted to make sure i could walk before i was allowed to check out i do so like a 110 year old man and get the okay to leave well being unable to hardly even move i asked my mother to put my socks on for me to which she proceeded to do at this moment a nurse walks into a slightly open door with my mom bent down and myself standing in front of her the nurse exclaims oh my gosh to which was followed up with i'm his mother it took the nurse a moment to realize i was not getting a blowy from my own mom but instead was just getting helped with my socks and shoes i was of course in severe pain and laughing brought on the worst of it so my mom and i both had to do our best to forget about the situation and not speak of it until i could handle the pain of hysterical laughter tldr nurse thought i was getting a [ __ ] from my mom responded to a very flamboyant aids-related dementia patients standing on the bed warding off his family by urinating and spinning i'm circles while screeching like an eagle and flapping his arms bonuses he had inserted his heart monitor box into his anus and had the cord trailing out which made him appear to have a tail with all five of the electrodes flying in various directions he had also pulled his eye out during the spinning and had painted all four walls and his family with blood as i am walking in the patient's brother begins screaming at him to stop acting like some goddamn chicken bird and proceeds to tackle him pinning him to the bed so that we can reset the crazy for the next hour tl dr male patient insert square peg telemetry box into round hole anus stands on bed rips out iv and spins in circles screeching like a bird when i had my baby our nurse walked in our room rather abruptly looking scattered she said she just walked in another room where the dad had their newborn on his nipple as though he was nursing the baby apparently the mom was sleeping and the dad used what he knew to calm the baby down my wife is a nurse and two stick out in my head the first being a guy from a psych ward in for some kind of virus her and another nurse knocked and heard ready so they went in it was at this point that the patient says aim they walk in to be met 10 featuring away from his brown eye pointing right at them he was on his back with both legs pulled back and spread before they could respond he yells fire and proceeds to projectile crap towards them luckily he must have misfired and only made it about eight feet they said thin left the room and bribed another nurse in tech to clean it up cost them a pizza for lunch the second was walking into a delivery room when the mother-to-be who happened to be 350 pounds and was explained to her friend how she had her mom and brother hold her legs so her husband could get her pregnant nurses need to be paid more yay my wife had a patient tell her a 550 pound pregnant lady that she got pregnant by sitting on a table with a middle leaf removed her husband then somehow got below the table and went in that way worked with alzheimer's points for years and worked mainly midnight the whole time one night while watching impractical jokers i hear the one other aid scream for me in the other side of the building i go see what's up and find her in an old man's room and the room was covered in blood like you killed a chicken and it ran around old man is pulling up his pants smiling while blood is pooling at his feet i asked what happened and notice her inflated catheter in his garbage can that's when i realized he ripped it out and told him to drop his pants when he did you could see that the ball was a bit too big for his manhood to manage and it split like an overcooked hot dog and was bleeding all over the place i had to hold a dong together and call 9 1 1 while the 18 year old co-worker screamed and threw up it was a long night not a medical professional but i had a doctor tell us a story about them monitoring an expectant mother she was hooked up to the normal heart rate monitor as well as the baby heart rate monitor all of a sudden both heart rate spike very high when they go to investigate they find the mother smoking crack in the hospital waiting to deliver her baby that poor baby it's usually knock knock open i've never had a doctor actually wait so i can say hang on just let me pull this tongue depressor out of my butt a woman leaning over her mother-in-law siphoning liquid from her mil's feeding tube long story short she wanted her gone to get the house that was going to her and her husband after the woman passed she thought a good way to hurry it up was to pull out the woman's nutrients and get her to die quicker we still don't know how many times she had done that she was a frequent visitor to the old lady's room it was a rough day with police involvement the patient was a sweet old lady who was passing away from old age and we had had her there for over a month but one of my colleagues ended up sobbing her heart out in the break room i walked out called my mom and told her i wanted to change careers immediately that i couldn't be around cruelty like that when my whole adult life had been dedicated to helping people she talked me down but it took a long time for the anger and cynicism to go away different points one actively pulling out his rectum two pulling out his teeth which he then threw at me three eating her crap menstrual blood for biting off parts of his tongue and spitting them at staff five pt had barricaded himself in his room with blankets soaked in urine vomit ejaculate and fesses at six pta was eating a plate filled of sugar and ptb's crap and blood we were trying to reduce ptb's prolapsed rectum dang near killed him okay this is the weirdest thing that i have seen a patient do gather around boys it's backstory time so i am a fifth year medical student in egypt one day i entered the classroom and there was someone teaching the cardiac symptoms in english and the whole time i was confused by his clothes and i thought to myself that the teacher looks like a homeless guide out then suddenly he asks for a students to come closer with his stethoscope and the guy takes off his clothes and on his chest is a giant open heart suture and then i realize that he is actually a chronic patient who knows medical terms and symptoms of the cardiac diseases by heart so tldr is walked in a classroom and a patient was teaching the crap out of aortic stenosis and mechanical valve sounds i realize that he is actually a chronic patient who knows medical terms and symptoms of the cardiac diseases by heart you're freaking cold if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now
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Channel: Internet Is Fun
Views: 31,537
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Length: 24min 31sec (1471 seconds)
Published: Sat Aug 08 2020
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