New Rule: The Big Liars | Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)

and finally new rule joe biden has to admit that when he said about republicans with trump gone you're going to see things change because these folks know better they know this isn't what they're supposed to be doing he was wrong and he has to come to terms with why that was wrong which i'm going to explain to you tonight now i'm sure most of our viewers have had the same thought i've had since january 6th how can they do it republicans come on different policy positions okay sure even life philosophies fine list of priorities yes but this sticking with the lie that an impeccably run election was really stolen what makes them do that what is so great that it can make you the big patriot with the flag pin on your lapel sell out your country on its most fundamental principle and the and the answer is the title the office the staff the good table all that attention and being the big cheese around the office congressman is literally the only job in the world you can get with so much prestige and so many perks while being a complete doofus with absolutely no skills knowledge or qualifications [Applause] name only almost any job dental hygienist rodeo clown dog walker mall santa chicken sexer tilt-a-whirl operator they all demand some kind of definable skill set not congress [Applause] you can be in jail and get this job you can be deranged and get this job if you have a heart attack they just let your wife start doing the job all you need is a smile and a tie i'd say you need a pulse but dead people have been elected to congress much more much more is required of an immigrant taking the citizenship test or the average voter than the person who represents 750 000 voters in 48 states you can't vote if you're in prison but in every state you can run for congress from prison unremarkable people can get a remarkable life in congress and that's what keeps the average republican backbencher in fatso's thrall sticking with trump guarantees them something that's bigger than faith family country or objective reality they get to keep the best job they could ever get with absolutely nothing to recommend their lazy ignorant ass for it college degree [Applause] you don't even need a high school degree lauren bobert didn't get one and she sits on the budget committee if she wasn't in congress she could probably get a shift at a truck stop dusting the jerky but then she wouldn't have two paid-for offices one in d.c one in her district she wouldn't have a staff that answers the phone for her and kisses her ass all day no one would put her on tv and ask her opinions she couldn't go on exotic paid for trips i'm sorry i mean fact-finding missions a congress job is just so much better than racking the weights at crossfit which is what marjorie taylor-green did before she set her crazy eyes on the prize and once you've got the gig it's yours for life the re-election rate in the house for incumbents in 2020 was 95 that's better job security than a pedophile priest [Applause] devin nunes i guess could mop up puke at the sonic but it would take him all day would you hire this guy but in congress puke mopper devin nunes is a big deal a man of respect when he walks in and asks for the best table you know what they say they say sir this is a petsmart the cheesecake factory is next door last year a video went viral of a walmart employee quitting her job over the pa this company this position and that big lazy chris price i quit [Applause] and here's texas representative chip roy telling congress to take this job and shove it this institution is a sham and we should adjourn and shut this place down yeah the difference is the walmart employee actually quit [Applause] [Music] [Applause] i love this chick can we look at it one more time this company this position and that big lazy chris price i quit but chip roy he'll never quit because there's no other jobs where a gets paid to ride around in a limo chip gets paid 175 grand a year free medical great pension with half the year off plus a million and a half dollar a year allowance for decorating the office and sundries oh also lobbyists blow him up and he gets to be on tv for doing nothing which as we all know is the american dream and and by doing nothing i mean that literally once you get elected you don't have to actually do anything there's no year-end performance review nobody calls you into an office and says i don't think this is working out you have essentially no boss well except the voters that's the one thing you got to do to keep all these perks coming if your district is full of people who think the election was rigged or vaccines have microchips in them or democrats eat babies you have to agree and then repeat it in congress and they do nancy mace is a new house member from south carolina the first woman to graduate from the citadel after january 6 she was outraged and stood up to her party giving a dozen interviews in a single day condemning trump now she won't even talk about it she voted to oust liz cheney for making the exact same case she herself had made a lot of people in america think she's a patriot but she looks to me like a traitor for the corner office she supported an insurrection for the likes oh and one more thing this chris price guy over at the walmart he is a lazy [Applause] you

Channel: Real Time with Bill Maher

Views: 3,229,980

Keywords: Eric Adams, Brooklyn Borough President, Democratic nominee, NYC Mayor, author, Healthy at Last, A Plant-Based Approach to Preventing and Reversing Diabetes and Other Chronic Illnesses, Rep. Stacey Plaskett, Democratic congresswoman, United States Virgin Islands, Joshua Green, senior national correspondent, Bloomberg Businessweek, Devil’s Bargain, Steve Bannon, Donald Trump, National Uprising

Id: XyCNxugvs6s

Length: 8min 15sec (495 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 06 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/burf2500]

This is the most right on piece Bill has done. I've said for years that being in Congress must be way too kushy if these politicians are willing to fight to the death to keep them, or go along with the insanity that the Republican party has bought into. It's also beyond ridiculous that most of us get held to a higher standard at our jobs than these politicians do. None of them get drug tested (Matt Gaetz would have been out a while ago). They can have shady legal records. It requires no experience which is insane to me because with most jobs they're not going to hire just anybody, but someone can be president with absolutely no experience in politics. And like Bill said they don't really get held accountable for their performance because all they have to do is please a bunch of whackjobs by telling them what they want to hear and they'll get re-elected.

[u/trevrichards]

The final New Rules segment, as Bill refers to it the "editorial," is brilliant more often than not. Even in times when I find the rest of the show a slog this segment is almost always on the money. He says he spends more time on this personally than any other part of the show, and you can tell. If Bill were to semi-retire and just do a short-form web series with this being the entire video I would be content. I'm pretty sure that is how the show is experienced by a lot of people. This is one of the best in awhile.

[u/slh1983]

Spot on.

[u/Eotheod0092]

When Bill is on the money, he's on the fucking money.

There are some jobs that will be the BEST job that some people will EVER have. Politics is one of them.

[u/[deleted]]

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