How & When to use "Why?" in a negotiation

one of our many competitive advantages our negotiation skills are used by every hostage negotiation team on earth people ask us on a regular basis is this cross-cultural every hostage negotiation team on earth uses the same eight skills because no matter what ethnicity no matter what culture no matter what religion the wiring of human being is what is on the other side jihadi John has a limbic system and an amygdala Abu Bakr al-baghdadi the head of Isis has an Olympic system and an amygdala and they all function in the same way so only people who don't have an emotional makeup that doesn't react like everybody else's are the people that are actually paranoid schizophrenic when their wiring is actually wrong people who just have behavior problems or chemical imbalances we used to be called manic depressive and then got called bipolar and I don't know what they change the labels every few years those are chemical imbalances those are not wiring problems those are chemistry problems and if they just got chemistry problems then they have a limbic system and Olympic system functions according to neuroscience among those rules or labeling negatives defuses negatives also among those rules are culturally universally we have found that asking someone why makes them defensive and then we found out about this proof of life issue and we asked ourselves hmm how can we use why in a way that works for us and we literally will say to people that a lot of competitors out here that could teach you you know the Harvard could teach you negotiation you can learn negotiation from Wharton terraces out there there are no shortage of credible competitors for negotiation knowledge why would you ever come to the Black Swan group we ask that question all the time before the book came out we'd be standing up in front of a group and I'd say guys why listen to a hostage negotiator and what happens we think happens why would you listen to a hostage negotiator why would you your skills have to work as what he said here's what happens on the people that haven't made up their mind yet they tell you which part of your value proposition appeals to them I could say you should listen to a hostage negotiator because my skills have to work or I can look at you and say why would you do this and you say the same thing now when does it matter more to you when you say it and I begin to understand what aspect now if he's a potential client I said why would you ever listen to a hostage negotiator and he says to me because your skills have to work now I use that to continually frame my value proposition because I know that's an element of my value proposition and those are the words that speak to him and if their mind is 80% made up ahead of time you have to diagnose what aspects of what you bring to the table matter to them because more than likely every single one of you have anywhere from 10 to 20 reasons why people should do business with you and if you start out on stuff that doesn't matter to me how long before I tune you out five seconds is a pretty accurate guess it's roughly three to ten seconds some data says seven seconds but you're gonna blow five seven ten seconds on the wrong issue and I'm going to tune you out I mean and there's no shortage in I don't know how many have you been in pitched presentations and half pitched presentations or have have product presentations people hate having a CEO in a room because they're like damn CEOs gonna interrupt start asking questions before I get all the way through my presentation well actually what does that tell you but tells you number one that he didn't care about everything you set up to that point in time and what are you interrupted John was what he really cared about right but and we see this in an industry after industry after industry I worked hard on that presentation I want them to sit there for two hours while I give the whole thing that that's when people are really happy when they get a chance to get through their whole proposal and then and ideally they don't get any hard questions and they roll out of there happy as hell right and then what happens no sale right [Music] [Applause]

Channel: NegotiationMastery

Views: 702,152

Keywords: best negotiation practices, tactical empathy, best negotiation training, emotional intelligence, effective negotiation skills, negotiation strategies, how to succeed in business, how to succeed, best practices, increase sales, methods of persuasion, components of emotional intelligence, effective communication techniques, Master Class, getting to yes, the art of the deal, crucial conversations, elevator speech, value proposition

Id: 27a2IZUf8rY

Length: 5min 17sec (317 seconds)

Published: Sun Jan 05 2020