Nearly Died? Nearly FIRED! | r/MaliciousCompliance | #421

hey everybody rob here it's time for some brand new malicious compliance stories first one comply with the 30 year old dress code you got it boss let's jump right in did you know over 70 percent of people who watch these videos aren't actually subscribed to the channel you don't want to be one of those people do you hit that subscribe button for more daily breaded stories the shelter i've 30 mail been working at for a couple of years now is over 30 years old and is quite notorious for keeping things that way the daily notes are physically kept in binders 80 style punitive measures are imposed on clients in conflict and the electrical panels are labeled with cards that went through a typewriter you get the idea the floor supervisor over 20 years in that position emphasized that even though genes were allowed we needed to strictly adhere to the dress code that meant button up or collared shirts no logos only long pants and dresses no hats unless you're outside no visible tattoos etc in other words dress nothing like the vast majority of the people we serve we're meant to dress the way they should aspire to dress said the supervisor i was told other staff including staff above my paygrade have long hated the dress code and unsuccessfully tried to change it for years none of them were bold little shits like me though given my previous experience with underserved populations i also knew this was a terrible idea generally speaking what people in these communities lack in financial resources they make up for in their abilities to read people and navigate emotions if they think you're an authority figure or acting inauthentic many will outright write you off and for the most part they have a great social and emotional radar the dress code said men's shirts must have visible buttons or a collar i sewed two buttons near my hip on a plane t-shirt and wore it in they said nothing the first time but had a meeting where they weren't pointing out anyone in particular and updated that specific part of the policy to prevent me from doing it again next i wore capris after all nothing about pant length was mentioned either that time the code was updated and we were informed via email so no one-on-one conversation about it a few months and minor malicious compliances later our workplace gave us logo t-shirts with the institution's name and website on them hooray we thought we will at least be able to wear t-shirts now nope after a week of several co-workers wearing the shirts they gave us we got an organization-wide email that the shirts did not comply with the dress code and should not be worn during work hours knowing me as the office rabble-rouser several pissed-off co-workers came to me independently to ask how they too could rebel enter this story's biggest malicious compliance as a minimalist i had no desire to hold on to a t-shirt that i would never wear we had no input on the design and color of the shirts and i simply did not need it taking up space in my closet the most reasonable alternative would be to turn the shirt back in and explain that so i did co-worker number one was moving soon and didn't need an extra thing to pack so she also turned hers in number two's partner hated dark green the shirt's color so he turned his in this happened all the way to 25 total employees with some borrowing others excuses after five days the supervisor had a box with two dozen shirts sitting in his tiny office he actually has to keep them on his desk and i can hear him bumping his hand against them when he uses the mouse three months later they are still here he's not dumb he knows those shirts are an fu that lives in his office he cannot donate them to the shelter due to some other ridiculous handbook rule about organizational spending and he bikes 6 miles to work so driving them home isn't a reasonable option he's tried putting them in the general office storage but his boss has said the shirts are the supervisor's problem since he ordered them currently he's just stuck we know it bothers him but he knows he can't bring it up since it's his own rules that prevent us from wearing them no dress code changes so far but the top of the year meeting regarding our handbook has dress code on the table three of the people who return shirts are a part of that advisory board of five i'm cautiously optimistic that we'll finally be rid of some of the dumb short-sighted elements of our dress code come february does anyone else think that ops should have gone to the thrift store and bought the but ugliest polos and button-down shirts they could find and then just wear them exclusively to work that would have been good on to our next story do the work exactly how you want it done even though it's ridiculously wrong fine by me let's jump right in some background before we start i worked as a drone pilot and mine surveyor for a man-child using drones to take pictures of the mines creating a 3d model out of those pictures and then calculating all sorts of goodies for the clients like their gold yield and the amount of they have to move etc it's really technical and can easily go completely to if you don't know what you're doing and even if you do know what you're doing it can still very easily go to complete i'm licensed and certified i've been playing the game for a long ass time now and i know how it works most of the time my ex-boss on the other hand didn't see he got his surveyors license during the 80s by complete chance he was a simple miner who just happened to be in the right place at the right time getting a free university scholarship to become a surveyor because they had a few grants left over and called out who wanted it his hand was one of the ones they picked the second he got his license he quit his job and convinced an old retiree surveyor to throw in his retirement all cards on the table to start up their own surveying business he spent the entire time at the golf course and the bar making a fat amount of cash out of his newly founded self-milking cash cow not once did he carry out an actual survey hell i doubt he's even stepped foot on a mine since then he just invoiced the clients told the retiree where to go and collected a paycheck so time moves on work slowly filters in and as one does when they reach the ripe old age of 80 something the retiree decides screw this and kicks the bucket my boss's cash cow just died on him and no matter how hard he squeezed the teats the only thing coming out of it now was dust the only other employee was this other guy who acted as his assistant and basically just carried heavy for him he didn't have a backup so of course he hired me i was pretty fresh to the game at the time starving and basically homeless and in my eyes this guardian angel just descended from the heavens and offered me a way out that doesn't involve an ungodly amount of xanax and short rope he basically told me that we have to survey xcite and get the data to x client didn't tell me how didn't tell me what data exactly they want hell he didn't even tell me when they needed it by he just pointed to the place on google told me to go there and get it done somehow i did it by the skin of my left testy i scraped by and eventually figured out just what the hat to do at some point we were kicked off of the mine for reasons that my boss didn't disclose to me and had to open up our own offices my boss graciously dug deep into his pockets kicked out his eldest son and dedicated that room in his house to our use now i was spending every day with the man since if he wasn't at the golf course he was at home we started butting heads he had this illusion in his head of how things work and how you're supposed to do things and i had practical experience and qualifications to tell me otherwise every single day was a fight and every single day he'd tell me how he wanted it to be done and i just turn around and do it the way it's meant to be done i started passing out my cv like herpes at a frat party my timing was perfect though cause a little blippin crash of the 2020 job economy happened right as i started searching the interviews i had lined up all got cancelled the people who i already interviewed with and who seemed ecstatic to have me suddenly didn't answer my calls i felt like a scorned lover waiting on the curb in the rain underwear clinging to my butt cheeks and my socks soaking wet i was considering maybe going back to i.t or even better prostitution i could maybe make a dollar each and thanks to a well-used childhood spent chewing gum i knew i had the jaw muscles for it i felt hopeless and dejected doomed to a life of taking care of a disgusting man child and his fat wallet eventually though a second angel descended from the heavens once again saving me from that seductive little noose i checked her wings for wires and asked her to do an sdd check before we carried on and she checked out finally i could leave this place i was waiting on the contract not really willing to commit to anything without it being in writing when my boss and i got into another massive screaming fight after hour three something inside me snapped you want it done your way fine i'll do it your way i committed hard to following his procedure every step of the way surveys were taking three times longer to do the drone crashed four times my first ever crash and all of them were near write-offs the 3d models stopped looking like mines and started resembling potato chips and twizzlers he had clients calling him day and night non-stop asking him just what the f is he doing eventually he gave my number to them so they can call me directly and i started getting calls day and night non-stop until i just turned off my phone outside of office hours clients were threatening to drop the contracts clients were threatening to sue my contract came in from my new company and i signed on the dotted line with a smile on my face one client stopped calling and stopped paying word got out as it always does that his company is just some redneck hoo-ha being run out of someone's home another client canceled the contract completely and threatened legal action i handed in my resignation my boss looked at me pleadingly offering me a ton of cash to stay if cocaine could make you feel even half as good as i felt then sign me up i told him to get he begged me to write him a manual on how to do the work to show him how to process the data to fly the pits to set up the instruments i spent the last two weeks there writing out every procedure he ever told me i needed to follow sent it through to him and walked away a few weeks later when he was scheduled to do a survey i was suddenly spammed with calls and emails and messages from him asking me how to do this or how to fly that or where to find this data his manual wasn't working surprise surprise i don't know just read the manual my new company is currently picking up all the contracts he's dropped if we manage to get the last one i'm gonna ask them for a bonus i don't know opie maybe you should send him a pack of chewing gum it looks like he might need an alternative revenue stream on to our last story nearly died nearly fired let's jump right in this story is a decade old but another title reminded me of it i was 18 and worked at a gas station i was the type of employee that you could always rely on to cover someone else's shift people would text me directly and i would let the manager know when i showed up i was covering for so and so i also owned a 50cc scooter to get to work since it was nearby one night i'm riding my scooter hit a pothole and hit pavement immediate pain my face jumps out at me first it feels like half the road now lives in the left side of my face i try to sit up feeling various scrapes and realize my boob is stuck to my bra passerby calls an ambulance emts think i somehow got a third degree burn in my boob when i try to pull down my shirt i take it off and they see all of my skin scraped into my bra it's excruciating i go to the hospital mostly because my helmet was actually a bicycle helmet i didn't know it came with the scooter and they're worried about a concussion they have to keep me up until i get checked out by the doctor who isn't there yet i realize around 1am that i'm not fit for work in the morning not wanting to wake up my bosses i call the store and talk to overnight employee i tell them to tell the manager when they come in that i can't come in and will drop off a doctor's note when i can around 6 am i am allowed to go home drugged up but concussion free when i get home i think i might try to start unraveling i go to the bathroom and strip i'm covered in scrapes and bruises i have a giant bandage taped over my left boob that goes up to my collarbone my face looks like someone glued loose gravel with red glue and it got close enough to cause a black eye i say it throw in a comfy tank and some shorts try my best not to have fabric over anything uncomfortable i've been awake 24 plus hours i'll deal with the carnage after i sleep two hours later i wake up to my mom screaming i come out and she thrusts the phone at me my assistant manager is now screaming at me she said i can't tell another employee i'm calling out i should have called her she said if i wasn't there in 15 minutes i was fired she had a spa day with her mom planned and was not canceling to cover my shift i hang up and ask my mom wtf apparently i didn't hear my phone and she answered recognizing my assistant manager's name she planned on explaining about my accident when she answered assistant manager assumed it was me and immediately started yelling the same as above my mom got heated yelling she was in an accident how dare you yell instead of asking if she was okay she could be dead and you are yelling so i told my mom she wants me there in 15 minutes what say you drive me up there i grab my doctor's note and we're off i walk in the building like on a stick despite having multiple pairs i wear my broken glasses unintentionally i realize as i walk down the length of the store i've developed a limp due to my left side being i didn't brush my hair it's a wild mane that replaces my normally neat ponytail every minor abrasion on full display the chest bandage clearly outlined in my tight tank i see both manager and assistant as they see me i lock eyes with the assistant and stare her down as i close the distance my manager stutters out the question of what am i doing there i turned my attention to him assistant manager said if i wasn't here in 15 minutes i was fired i'm here so do i still have my job after he assured me that of course i did and to go home and rest i gave him my doctor's note i turned to assistant i told overnight person i'd bring in my doctor's note next time though i'll be sure to call you at 1am if i need to right seeing the look exchange between the two what i knew had been confirmed her calling me was her doing and my manager didn't know what was happening i'm sorry about your spa day if you'll excuse me they didn't let me sleep until my x-rays came back i'm exhausted i left feeling as good as you can feel with road rash hopefully the manager had a stern talk with the assistant manager after that but that line was amazing op i'm sorry about your spa day well done i'd like to thank all three ops for posting their stories to the malicious compliance subreddit you can visit them at the links in the description below please go there and give them an upvote once again this is rob from karma comment chameleon saying thanks for watching if you enjoyed the video please hit that subscribe button drop a like and share it with your friends and we'll see you in the next one

Channel: Karma Comment Chameleon

Views: 31,841

Keywords: karma, comment, chameleon, karma comment chameleon, reddit, funny, funny reddit, reddit funny, r/entitledparents, entitledparents, entitled parents, entitled, parents, top posts, reddit top post, best of reddit, comedy, r/, rslash, r/maliciouscompliance, maliciouscompliance, malicious compliance

Id: EM4ul-Y0Hhg

Length: 18min 10sec (1090 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 20 2020