My Wife Spends Money Like There's An Endless Supply!

[Music] david's gonna start us off in amarillo texas hi david how are you pretty good dave how are you today better than i deserve what's up well uh i have recently remarried about three years ago and uh was very near debt free and my wife after we got with i told my wife before we got married we weren't gonna have any debt except the house and so anyway uh on our first anniversary i bought her a sleep number bed which is very expensive and i charged it well now she she likes to spend money like it's made out of water like there's an endless supply and i can't get her to to sit down with me and and create a budget and and i you know i would really like to do the financial piece university with her uh but i just don't know how to get her to agree to those things well the first thing you don't do is say dave ramsey said whatever you've already did it didn't you yes sir yeah you turned me into a cuss word man you you wimp you blamed it on me and the second thing is you can't tell your wife okay this going into our my new marriage this is gonna be a key priority for us until the first big purchase and then i'm gonna go ahead and just uh knock down my own boundary and then get mad at you for walking through that gate that i opened up you can't do that yeah so yeah i understand what you've got to do is you have to dial back because both of you engaged in childish behavior and we have to both dial back to adult behavior adults devise a plan and follow it children do what feels good and so what you're discussing is the symptom the symptom is overspending the symptom is debt the symptom is a sleep number bed you financed a bit a bad man a bad so you have to dial back and go those are symptoms and the the problem that caused those symptoms to occur is vision lack of it you do not have a shared vision for your wealth in the future and what your wealth will do for you it will allow us to travel it will allow us to buy this it will allow us to be generous in this way and we have to do things to cause that wealth to happen and one of those is avoiding debt going forward and that includes me because i'm a bonehead and i broke my own word here you got to start with apologizing deeply a deep bow and scrape and beg for forgiveness and then say but the reason i wanted us to do that even though i screwed it up was because i believe if we stay out of debt these are the things that are going to happen let's talk about why and where we're going and changing our family tree and retiring with dignity and being in a position to be unbelievably generous and those kinds of big things then she can get on board and oh by the way you get a vote and i get a vote we both have a vote and we don't go against that my wife and i were discussing a major purchase this morning before i left home and she wasn't happy about it and i'm really happy about it and um but later on but later on it got we got happy you know and so it worked out but we weren't go i wasn't going to go forward with that until we're both in agreement and it fits into our overall plan yeah and i think it's important a gun or a truck could be yeah it could be it could be um he sidetracked me um so here's another thing a conversation you can have after the vision conversation is being curious with yourself when you're about to buy something both you and her the question i always want to ask myself for me it's eating for me it is i want to skip a workout for me it's i'm not going to check in with my wife on this i'm just going to go do it right when i'm about to make a behavior that i know is going to cost me downstream what's been transformative for me is instead of getting mads of getting frustrated is stopping and being curious and asking myself what am i trying to protect myself from what is this amazon purchase what am i trying oh i'm bored oh i had a a a tiff with my six-year-old and i'm pouting and so i'm gonna go buy some more i don't know fishing line or something stupid that i don't really need what am i doing this stuff for and then that's always gonna push me back to the vision right which is oh we're doing this for this i'm not going to hit it for this right i'm not going to hit purchase i'm not going to go buy this i'm not going to buy a 9 000 bed on credit um because we have a different vision for our life but the the the most asked question since i started the show 30 years ago how do i get my spouse on board yep and number one answer is don't say dave ramsey said because nobody cares what dave ramsey said it's got to be about us it's got to be from inside right yeah and no really the truth i mean that's not me just being humble or weird or something yeah i mean you know at the end of the day your opinion for your life is that you're the only one gets a vote in your life imagine if she i don't get a vote in your life if sharon came to you and said dave uh my friend dan says that i should hold your hand more so i'm gonna start doing that that wouldn't mean anything right but if if my wife comes to me and says hey i i want to start holding your hand i mean like i thought like i want to get closer to you that means something so you always you number one you don't blame it on me number two there's a whole get out of that thing here is so that right what's your so that yes it's so that we can be not broke anymore and stressed it's so that we don't ever act like you know we're not we've both talked about your parents are are pitiful yeah we're sad about their financial condition we don't want to be them when we're old it's so that we're going to avoid debt so that we're not them we're going to avoid debt so that we've got a pile of money we send the kids to college with any debt we want to be so that we'd like to open a a hospital in our neighborhood and drop 10 million dollars into that so that i don't know what you're so that is but you need to sow that because debt in and of itself is not worth it that's right i mean it's good it's good get out of debt it's a good thing but the only reason we want you to get out of that the reason we teach you get out there so that yes you get financial peace yes and so that you can do things yes and you can say when that kid comes to your door you don't kind of find nickels of pennies you can buy all the candy right you can do those generous things man you can just completely buy out all the inventory of the girl scout wouldn't that be fun that would be fun just mess with her day and what would be really great is to have 75 boxes of cookies and i'll try to explain my wife i'm just doing a good thing huh buy buy a single mama car yeah exactly oh buy 10 on my car exactly you know i mean change your life man take that girl in the youth group and pay for college but the problem is when we get down into the weeds it all comes down to a sleep number bed becomes a math problem instead of a heart it's a sleep number bed what what what yeah i mean god i wish i could go back and tell you all the stupid butt stuff i have done with money and bought things i have bought that are just hilariously stupid sleeping over bed wouldn't be on the list but i've done some hilariously stupid things

Channel: The Ramsey Show Highlights

Views: 87,420

Keywords: the dave ramsey show, budget money debt cash, real estate, insurance, how to make money, dave ramsey, save, credit card, compound interest, buying house, buy, snowball, My Wife Spends Money Like There's An Endless Supply!

Id: DiqdmdXccao

Length: 7min 34sec (454 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 29 2022