Divorce My Wife Because She's Overspending?

JJ's in Rockford Illinois hey JJ welcome to the Dave Ramsey show hi Dave it's an honor to speak you sir you too how can I help well sir I've been married for 20 years and my wife I had been separated for three and as you say most of it is all because of money most marriages because of money so this is the third time that my wife and her spending habits have got us greatly into debt so that's the reason why we've been separated for three years and trying to get it to work out between her and I all boils down to us not being on the same page and at this point this is where I'm stuck I was introduced to you three weeks ago through a small group at church and as I have watched 30 hours of you on YouTube over the last three weeks there's a lot of stuff you say that mentioned I have a thousand dollars already saved I I in the past have always snow balled my own bills to pay him off and as I pay my bills off she hands me a new stack of bills so this is where I'm at the divorce or not to divorce part and also I want to know a little bit about 401 K I am obviously in debt to my eyeballs my total debt is approximately $50,000 that is with the house our credit cards are and what is your what is your income my net income is 565 dollars a week that's your take-home pay as to my take-home pay is yeah I'm immediately take home twenty-nine thousand three hundred eighty dollars you okay so you're making about thirty seven thirty eight thousand bucks what does she make every time I asked she says I don't know I know she is a gas station manager and a waitress she works two jobs I work two jobs my second job is a cash job and I only make a couple of thousand dollars a year I I would I would say she probably makes roughly what I make she also has seventy three thousand four hundred dollars in student loans with no degree she owes five grand on a car she lives in our own place we're separated - she lives in her own place she she pays $600 a month in rent okay are you guys seeing a marriage counselor we've seen one about ten years ago and when I asked I asked if you are seeing a marriage counselor are Li okay so why why is there hope that the two of you are gonna work this out if you're standing over here throwing rocks at her and that is your plan right now for getting back together well I never really looked at it as I was throwing rocks I just didn't last five minutes I'm not sure she didn't need rocks thrown at her but you've been throwing them out over the last five minutes while we're talking yes I mean that there's no there's no meeting of the minds there's no reconciliation there's no game plan where we get on the same page with unless you've got some help doing that I mean you've been separated for three years you guys need to start working and saving this thing or call it okay marriage counselor right now number one number one call your pastor said pastor we need to sit down and if she will sit down with you then the two of you start working towards having a game plan together now the way that you the way that a healthy quality marriage works around the money issue is there is no yours in mine it's all ours when you got married the preacher said and now you are one he didn't pronounce you a joint-venture and so she's gonna put all of her income in the middle of the table you're gonna put all of your income in the middle of the table she's gonna put all of her debt in the middle of the table you're gonna put all your debt in the middle of the table and for richer for poorer in sickness and in health until death do us part we're going to use that pile of income to attack that set of debts and we're both going to be adults and talk about every single thing that happens with money before it leaves on paper that's called a budget that we both agreed to and then we both agree to stick to it that's how a quality marriage with cooperation and commune occasion deals with the issues you put in front of me and that's what good marriage counseling will lead you guys into doing so I I think she's misbehaving I agree with you but I think you guys are not working towards putting everything on the same page and if you're not gonna do that then you're not married anymore I mean you just got you talk that through with your pastor you know but you need to sit down with a good marriage counselor and say hey how can we get on the same page aiming at the same thing it's not you telling her what to do is we're gonna put it all in the middle of the table and the two of us together are gonna grab hands and we're gonna decide how we're gonna handle every one of these dollars this month and next month and next month and what are our goals and how are we gonna hit them hey guys thanks for watching if you enjoyed this video click the subscribe button to get the latest content and check out these other great clips from the show [Music] [Applause] [Music] Oh [Music]

Channel: The Ramsey Show - Highlights

Views: 438,041

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Id: dMfO_-XYXh0

Length: 5min 34sec (334 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 06 2017