My Testimony Struggling with Toxic Insecurities | What God SPOKE to me!

everything is skewed in such a way that it is confusing our hearts it's making us think that our identity should be on ourselves and on our [Music] feelings what's up guys i'm melissa if you're new to this channel it is dedicated to tackling hard questions diving into the bible and seeing what god says about them this question is a big one it is something that i struggle with if you read the title you will know that this video is going to be a personal journey and testimony through my insecurities and self-doubt that i deal with on an everyday basis i feel like this generation specifically struggles with this and mental health is huge and god was just nudging me towards this topic because even though i don't have it all figured out even though this is something that i'm currently struggling with i want to just really point you to god's word and god's truth and just show you what god's been speaking to me and how he's just been teaching me about our purpose and about our spiritual gifts and how to combat negative thinking and so with that being said don't forget to grab your bible so we can see what god says about insecurities and self-doubt and let's get started when thinking about insecurities first of all i just really want to reiterate that you're not alone everyone goes through insecurities and self-doubt and negative thinking i was reading through statistics that just showed how much teenagers and young adults are battling through anxiety depression suicide it's just staggering to see how we have just gotten into a really bad mental state and younger and younger generations are struggling through this and even though i don't feel qualified to talk about my insecurities because this is something that i'm still struggling through and i just dropped something i felt like god was saying that's the perfect time to speak out about this when i don't feel qualified because god can speak through me and just really have me open up about what i am dealing with right now because it's so easy to look on social media and to see how other people are doing and to think wow everyone else is living such great lives and i'm the only one going through this but in reality everyone's struggling through something and so the first insecurity that i have been battling that i've battled for most of my life is comparison comparison is huge it's something that can just really steal your joy and tell you that you're not enough that the other person is more talented than you are so why should you even try it just really has you in a state where you end up not being content not being grateful and you have a hard time seeing what god's doing in your life because you're so focused on other people comparison in my life just sneaks in in very tricky ways lately i've noticed myself just talking with friends or just people in general and they'll talk about their accomplishments and what they're doing in school and their careers and all of that and i noticed myself comparing my career to theirs thinking to myself wow i haven't fully accomplished everything that i've wanted to accomplish or i haven't done enough or i'm not enough and i start to have these thoughts creep in and it leaves me feeling stagnant it leaves me feeling like i don't have any purpose and i allow these lies of the enemy to come in and just really cloud my thinking and this is so dangerous god constantly has to remind me that everyone is on their own journey everyone is accomplishing and being used by god in very unique ways and so we need to stop comparing ourselves to others and social media doesn't help with that because you can so easily be scrolling through your newsfeed and seeing what other people are doing and thinking wow i'm not on their level yet and why do we have this pressure why do we think we need to be on someone else's level or someone else's path ephesians 2 10 says that god created us for his handiwork to do good works that he prepared in advance for us to do this is a bible verse that god really spoken to my life last year just really reminding me that hey you do have purpose you do have meaning you need to stop the lie of the enemy that says oh i am not enough because i'm not accomplishing this or i'm not in this part of my journey that i thought i was going to be in i have to let go of these expectations i place in my head and i have to let go of that comparison because comparison is the thief of joy i forget who said this but i've heard that quote so many times and it really resonates with me and when i see myself getting in that negative mental state i have to take a step back and say okay first of all i need to disconnect from everyone to have more quiet time with god because i noticed my thoughts drifting away from god's promises who god says i am and what god is speaking to me and i'm getting distracted by this negativity john 15 comes to mind whenever i am recognizing uh oh there is something wrong in my heart john 15 talks about god being the vine and us as believers being the branches and i really want to read to you john 15 5-6 it says i am the vine you are the branches if you remain in me and i in you you will bear much fruit apart from me you can do nothing if you do not remain in me you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers such branches are picked up thrown into the fire and burned god really spoke to me regarding this passage because there is so much truth to it when i am going down a rabbit hole which is something that occurs very frequently i have to remind myself of this passage am i connected to my source of life am i connected to my creator or am i fixating my eyes on distraction on comparison and on this negative way of thinking and if so i need to take a step back i need to let go of everything and reconnect with the source of life reconnect with my creator my heavenly father who speaks truth into my mind and into my heart and until i end up saying okay i need to take quiet time and really prioritize my thinking so that god is just the main focus until i do that i won't get into a better mental state and this is huge when battling comparison the next insecurity that can really eat at me is self-doubt and purpose and i've mentioned purpose when thinking about comparison because i always doubt my purpose but i feel like self-doubt and purpose go hand in hand because every time i'm trying to do something new or i have a vision of what i should be doing next self-doubt pops into my mind even in my career or even with these youtube videos self-doubt is something that i'm constantly having to combat it is so easy to think well i'm just not going to try because i don't think i can do this or i'm too scared or i don't feel confident enough and at the end of the day god is the one that gives us the confidence he is the one that is sustaining our lives and i see this with my career specifically i've been in digital media for a while now for about four years i graduated in 2016 and i graduated in business when i graduated i knew i wanted to get into digital marketing because i loved building brands online through social media and i saw the impact of social media how my generation is consumed by it and so i thought to myself i really want to go into the entertainment industry and just really focus in on that i ended up getting jobs at buzzfeed and with different beauty brands and then god really pulled me out of entertainment and really spoke to me in early 2019 i've talked about this in previous videos and he said you are going to use digital to spread the gospel and right after that i got a job at a company whose mission statement is to spread the gospel through digital and this is what i've been doing for the last two years and as a hobby i started this youtube channel where we tackle hard questions and it's cool to see how god is really guiding me towards this direction but with that self-doubt has just taken on a whole new level i've thought to myself i don't feel qualified there's been plenty of times where i thought to myself should i even be in social media there's so much negativity that can come out in social media and i have a ton of friends that are in healthcare or in finance doing things that i can see have such purpose and meaning and influence and then i think to myself maybe what i'm doing is not enough and i've constantly have had to take a step back and recognize this thought process and say to myself okay first of all i'm comparing second of all i'm doubting god's purpose for me and what he spoke into my life third of all of course satan wants to distract me because god really wants to use me in this way in this field to spread the gospel to point others towards him why would i be doubting this and if i do feel unqualified it's because i am not because of anything that i did but because of who he is and he's done this throughout the bible he uses people that are so unqualified that have made so many mistakes and romans 8 talks about living by the spirit this is another passage that god's really spoken into my life i will read to you romans 8 28 it says and we know that in all things god works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose god is constantly reminding me of the purpose that he placed in my heart and i confidently have to walk in that purpose knowing that god's spirit lives in me that his wisdom is right there in me to just really fill me with his truth with his peace and with confidence that comes from him because like i said before he is the source of our lives and so romans 8 is a huge reminder for me of what it looks like to live by the spirit and not my flesh and not my negative thinking and not my self doubt another big insecurity of mine that i've had to deal with is in regards to body image many women struggle with body image it can leave us feeling like we don't look good enough or we don't feel good enough and i remember in college i really let body image kind of take control of my life i've never had a serious eating disorder but i remember when i was letting numbers and calories really take control and i was restricting what i was eating because i wanted to get skinnier because i was just comparing myself to how other girls looked and i was like i want to look that skinny i want to look that fit and that's another dangerous way of thinking because it can lead you down a spiral of unhealthy eating and just a really bad lifestyle and so i remember when i was restricting on my calories it negatively affected my health i lost my period for two years when i didn't lose my period i thought to myself uh oh i think i'm doing something wrong here i need to change the way i view my body the way i view the scale the way i view food and calories and this was huge for me and i think a lot of young girls are looking at their bodies today and saying i don't look good enough i don't look pretty enough i'm not getting the attention i thought i was going to get i know that teenagers especially battle this and i just want to say to you that that is a lie from satan because god created us in our mother's womb and he gave us meaning he gave us purpose he believes that we are beautiful is so sad that we don't think that that is enough and if we are going down that path i think that we need to say hey you know what i'm just going to cut off social media or i'm going to cut off certain things that i'm doing so i can get back to a healthy lifestyle and there's nothing wrong with eating healthy and with working out and with having a balanced lifestyle but like i said it all takes balance and sometimes i see myself either skewing one way or the other and i have to just pull myself back and center my heart and my eyes on jesus who reminds me of my worth and value throughout the years as i've battled through these insecurities i've had to really learn why god created us in the first place and first of all life is not about us and it's not about what we can get out of a relationship with god because first and foremost god created us to be in relationship with him a few years back i was listening to a sermon by francis chan and i love his teaching and one thing stood out to me from that sermon he said are you wasting the spiritual gifts god has given you because you were too selfish you were too self-centered and you were just thinking about your own goals instead of what god is doing and what god has for you and i thought to myself wow first of all what are my spiritual gifts i really need to think about that because it's so easy to be distracted and thinking about a me centered mentality instead of a god-centered mentality and spiritual gifts are not even about us having a gifting to just show to the world it ends up pointing to god and so first corinthians 12 talks about spiritual gifts and how god wants to partner with us for his kingdom for his purpose that he prepared in advance for us to do which is ephesians 2 10. and so i'm going to read to you first corinthians 12 15-19 it says now if the foot should say because i am not a hand i do not belong to the body it would not for that reason stop being part of the body and if the ear should say because i am not an eye i do not belong to the body it would not for that reason stop being part of the body if the whole body were an eye where would the sense of hearing be if the whole body were an ear where would the sense of smell be but in fact god has placed the parts in the body every one of them just as he wanted them to be if they were all one part where would the body be as it is there are many parts but one body paul perfectly encompassed what it means to be a part of the body of christ god created each one of us uniquely so that we can play a part of his story and his plan and just because we may think that oh we're not qualified or we don't feel like we have enough purpose or we may think that we don't have any talents well that's all a lie from satan because god did create us to fit perfectly into the body of christ and it's not going to look the same as the person next to us so i encourage you to pray to god ask him what your spiritual gift is so that he can use you for his purpose and his glory and not your own if you are struggling through really serious mental issues like depression suicide really bad anxiety that can leave you feeling stagnant don't be afraid to reach out for help to get therapy to seek out medical professionals to have a community that is there to support you and to remind you of god's truth i was reading an article the other day that talked about my generation and younger and younger generations that are struggling through mental health it said that the national survey on drug use and health surveyed over 600 000 americans one of them being from 2009 to 2017 major depression among 20 to 21 year olds more than doubled rising from 7 to 15 depression surged 69 among 16 to 17 year olds it was honestly shocking to read those statistics because these teenagers and young adults are going to influence the next generation and it's so sad to see how social media and technology have played a part in distracting us in really shifting our identity from god to what we can do and what we can say and what we can become everything is around ourselves this selfie has become the next big thing everyone's wanting to become an influencer right we're placing our worth and our value on things on people on perceptions and not on god and that's why we are drowning in negativity a lot of the time this is something that i want to continually pray for not only for the insecurities that i'm going through but the insecurities that my generation is going through because our culture has skewed so many things has confused so many things we see this with the family structure we see this with gender we see this with sexuality there is just no respect going on anymore there is no reverence for god everything is skewed in such a way that it is confusing our hearts it's making us think that our identity should be on ourselves and on our feelings instead of on god and who he created us to be and so i don't know what you're struggling through right now i don't know how hopeless you feel but just know that first of all you are not alone second of all god placed meaning in your heart for a purpose and third of all god sees your heart and he understands and he wants to take you out of that pit of despair and loneliness and he wants to remind you of your worth and your value and he doesn't want to see you fall god is there for the brokenhearted and he wants to have a unique relationship with each and every one of us and this is something that god is constantly speaking into my life every day and so with that being said i hope this video just points you to jesus i will leave some resources down below as well as some bible verses i encourage you to read this week like i say in all of my videos if you have any other prayer requests leave them down below and i will see you all very soon for another video bye guys [Music] uh

Channel: Melissa Mitchell

Views: 186

Rating: 5 out of 5

Keywords: insecurities, my testimony struggling with toxic insecurities, mental health, anxiety, depression, insecure, insecurity, how to overcome insecurities, how to be less insecure, a biblical perspective on mental health, how to be more secure with yourself, bible insecurity, bible how to overcome insecurity, christian insecure, sermon insecurities, bible confidence, what does the bible say about being insecure, my testimony, Mental Health, God spoke to me, Insecurities, toxic insecurities

Id: kbfSXksCCso

Length: 19min 50sec (1190 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 29 2021