MY STUPIDLY LONG DEATH NOTE REVIEW

[Music] [Music] [Music] all right apparently a lot of you actually liked my Castlevania review and some of you have egged me on to do another review I personally still don't like doing reviews because I just feel like I'll say the same [ __ ] most people will say but [ __ ] it I saw the Death Note movie and I just had to do this so hopefully you enjoy this a few key things to keep in mind first of all I love the Death Note anime I do honestly think it was one of the best friend animes of the 2000s and it has some great characters great mysteries and just a thrilling story throughout its entire lifespan unfortunately the show faltered after episode 25 and if you're a fan of the show you'll know exactly why despite that I still thought it was an enjoyable anime that you should definitely check out over the movie whether the movie is good or bad you owe it to yourself to watch the original as it is definitely worth watching it's not perfect there are definitely some [ __ ] dumb goofy moments that make it hard to take seriously but it's still a great show to binge secondly the movie it's an adaptation of the anime series I will be making a ton of parallels between the show and the film I know that's not what the creator's intended and they have stated that this is a standalone film that should be treated as its own thing but when they take almost every single idea out of the original source it's kind of hard not to compare the two I'll try not to do this too much but in the end it's all up to the film and how it portrays the source material be it respectable or laughable honestly I'll probably end up doing way too many comparisons I apologize in advance for that finally as much of a fan as I am of the original anime I will give this movie as much respect as I can I won't let my fanboy ISM blind me from what could be potentially a good movie like I said this isn't supposed to be a one-for-one retelling of the original story it's just a different adaptation ok so death notes got a blank slate let's see how this [ __ ] does so right off the bat we're taken to white suburbia USA Seattle Washington where we see a generic flock of teenagers doing highschool teenage it we see our boil light Turner and yeah and I thought y'all were [ __ ] kidding his name is actually light Turner [ __ ] long-lost relative of Timmy Turner oh [ __ ] actually when you think about it Timmy Turner was just a predecessor to dad known he was the precursor Kira if he wanted to kill someone he could have just wished them dead he could even specify their deaths - oh my god oh my god Cosmo and Wanda wrote the death note oh [ __ ] their Shinigami now [ __ ] somebody already made that joke god damn anyway we find out Timmy Yagami is doing a bunch of high-school math for another fellow student who pays him for doing his homework I guess this means he's super smart because you know high school algebra is tough [ __ ] when suddenly oh my god it's raining death notes light picks it up and heads off where he meets bully boy Brazil ah'd and girl light tries to defend girl from bull Kowski by agitating the man clearly twice his height and twice as ages and decked in the face for it Wow real smooth light you [ __ ] loser so that he gets in trouble for doing everyone's homework which is weird I mean shouldn't those students be in trouble not him which leads into detention yeah by the way the bully who punched him isn't in detention I bet they rewarded him for having the balls to finally beat the [ __ ] out of the kid with the bad 90s hair like then explores the contents of the notebook this is when we're introduced to Dutch angles the hallmark for any great movie folks [ __ ] Dutch angles out the wazoo have a Dutch angle we're also cool for having [ __ ] Dutch angles and being so different [ __ ] Dutch I [ __ ] give a round of applause to the director of this film what a brilliant innovator noble really this is the first time Tina light Turner is introduced to Ryu and it sure is a great scene now I'll be honest I have seen this part of the film reposted on Twitter reddit and tumblr and I'm actually going to defend this scene real quick see the original show Light Yagami had already been used in the Death Note for a while now it's not really specified just how long just that it's been a few days light has already witnessed the power of the notebook and no was fully well that it defies logic and is in fact a powerful paranormal device so when ryu finally shows up in the show light is definitely surprised but does quickly collect himself calmly and coolly shortly thereafter whereas white turner screams like a bitchin cowers in fear however given the context you can kind of understand it Yagami already said that he expected reuse visit he was pretty sure Death Note belonged to a Shinigami after all he's witnessed firsthand what a weird powerful device and otherworldly thing the notebook is in the movie however light Turner has no [ __ ] clue what the notebook does sure he reads the book a few of the rules here and there but he never actually tested the [ __ ] thing so he has no semblance of paranormality when it comes to the stupid thing for all he knows it's just some [ __ ] dollar store book that someone dropped off of an airplane so of course we u-k's appearance scares him speaking of ríos appearance I will give the movie credit where it's due Ryu shots are very well executed he's almost always out of focus and his eyes are always piercing and glowing in the background this makes him seem that much more otherworldly and unsettling I like it a lot to be honest it makes him to be this menacing figure always watching you unfortunately some of the shots where he is in focus didn't really work out too well I mean make no mistake he is really well rendered better than the previous live action movies anyways but he's still just a dumb CG puppet I much preferred he blurred out throughout the entire film and I would have been totally happy with that that's not to say he wasn't menacing in the original anime there were definitely shots where we you becomes this imposing figure in front of Light Yagami but here it's done in a far more unnatural way so props to that anyway ryokan Courage's liked to kill off bull men the bulliest of bulls by giving light his pen with his Shrek hands and [ __ ] light writes down the dudes name followed by decapitation I mean I get he hasn't seen the book work in action but [ __ ] decapitation why you sick [ __ ] so light turner classic movies goofily watches outside and oh my god oh Jesus Christ oh [ __ ] man see that's what happens like [ __ ] wrote down to capitation what do you expect I do actually really like how gory these death scenes are though it's sort of like in the case of Castlevania where I haven't seen good Gore in a long time in anime well honestly I haven't seen a good movie with good gore in a long time not to say that this is a good movie but hey it's it's splendorous gore and I'm taking a real liking to the blood and chunks and [ __ ] and it's not CG blood at all which is always lame though I'm sure other fans of the series won't like the overly gory debts in the movie which is understandable sometimes these scenes can be distracting and some people will probably feel like these deaths just don't represent what death notes all about it's always been about the user not the deaths I'm personally just gonna say [ __ ] it because these scenes are beautifully well done anyway we get back to lights home where we're introduced to more Dutch angles [ __ ] yes what an amazing director what the [ __ ] another round of applause Brody alright I'll stop so we find out lights dad is a cop or something and then we find out that they suffer from the horrible case of mother is dead itis cuz you know every [ __ ] protagonist nowadays has a dead mom the two get into a fight cuz lights a piece of [ __ ] then in a fit of emo angst like actually emo inks Lite writes down the dudes name who killed his mom on the notebook without any regard that it might be traced back to him because he has a personal history with but whatever that's totally not gonna bite him in the ass in fact I'll just tell you right now it won't it met that's [ __ ] stupid anyway his dad is super [ __ ] happy about this oddly enough I mean you know I don't want to say you're a hypocrite or anything dad Turner but when you called out your police homies for cheering on Kira just remember that you were literally one of the first people laughing about your wife's killer's death and celebrating Kira that day hmm how well will that work out so because light I'm a gays such genius he brings the Death Note to school and it [ __ ] reads it in public sure why not he he's not really even hiding it [ __ ] really I mean why remember those [ __ ] bullies that are in your school I mean Bulls worth wasn't the only bully was he or was he some sort of patriarchy bully that brought down the bully society crumbling after his death what if someone else steals it from you what if a teacher finds you with a notebook and thinks you're [ __ ] psychotic what if a semi hot obviously not a teenager so I feel comfortable saying that girl comes up to you and says well you know [ __ ] anyway light explains to girl who isn't actually Misa but Mia cuz you know she's white that the Death Note is a Death Note he gives her the book to Cirie Youth but of course the writers felt it necessary to keep that part of the show I made it from the anime as it would have caused problems if people touched the book and sorry uke especially when you consider that the main character is bringing it to a [ __ ] school without even attempting to hide it Mia doesn't believe like I mean you know of course she [ __ ] doesn't then he shows her the light I am [ __ ] funny subscribe for more of the funny so some dude dies Mia things that's super [ __ ] sexy and so they basically go to this [ __ ] weirdo alley for weirdos and are like yeah we should like totally kill bad people it'd be like so fetch then they totally do that and then it's some weird montage of sex and death occurring and [ __ ] stupid they come up with the alias Kira because you know [ __ ] reasons could have been straight up called Jesus or Zeus or whatever fake God you can think of but whatever Kira because Japanese I don't know [ __ ] happen I will say though I do really like the montage or the victims deaths in the original show light never actually made it clear that there's a dude out there righting wrongs and such he just sort of hints it by killing big-time criminals it was the people that assumed someone was out there doing it here light and Mia actually make it abundantly clear that there's a dude out they're doing this I kind of like that more than the original as it gives the world more of a reason to be aware of this guy and it gives the world the reason to be afraid yet my problem with this whole thing is the motivation Light Yagami was a brilliant young student who wanted to keep the world clean of evil and injustice he didn't like the idea of the notebook at first but as he started to think clearly he knew that the book was the only way to get rid of criminals he was making his own justice Turner and Nia just sort of killed because it's fun I guess I mean there's a short bit of dialogue that makes lightening Turner seem more like an idealist but the dialogue comes off as awkward and forced it just makes him seem like a dumb teen who's kind of pretentious and going power-hungry with a poor excuse as to why he does it sure he does keep up with his ideas later on when he refuses to kill some cops who are going after him but this whole godly persona just doesn't seem reasonable enough not with light Turner's character anyways to put it simply Yagami had a sense of justice and a huge ego Turner is just angsty and emotional so after the gore gasm this is when we're introduced to Elle who's black I guess the movie couldn't stop at whitewashing and decided to black wash the only important white person from the anime oh yeah and they made what sorry Japanese cuz you know his alias is now his ethnic race even though in the anime he was clearly just an old [ __ ] white dude let me just say this about Elle he's such a [ __ ] pretentious [ __ ] he kind of looks like what all those redditors thought they look like when they were investigating the Boston bombing yeah you're real [ __ ] cool-looking you dumbass turtleneck hooded [ __ ] I get he's trying to protect his face because he suspects Kira needs a name and a face but there are scenes where he just straight-up doesn't have his dumb turtleneck up so why not just stay out of the public like the original L did I mean it's not like if that's actually a mask or anything anybody can just come up to you and go woops my hand slipped and pull it down to reveal what you actually you look like it's not even covering your whole face literally 50 percent of your face is showing not really hard to guess what you look like man anyway Elle heads off to Seattle cuz he's got a hunch Kira's a white boy and he wears these dumb [ __ ] glasses while being serenaded by what to these shitty singing so he can fall asleep like he's a [ __ ] baby or something back in Seattle where the local police force has turned into the largest fan base of kira ever dad Turner finds out people really [ __ ] hate him because he's doing his job in finding Kira cool anyway what that he shows up like magic and says L really wants him on his side apparently it's because he's been making quite a bit of progress on the Kira investigation but I have a feeling it's because if the only dude who's [ __ ] doing anything outside of being a fanboy to Kira meanwhile light washed Turner and girl find out reddit made a subreddit for them that's [ __ ] stupid anyway L does his famous speech where he dares Kira to kill him and well nothing happens to him you know the scene was actually pretty important in the show originally it gave L a bunch of pretty good hints on how Kira kills people and where Kira is so when black L later says he suspects Kira needs a face and a name well that doesn't really make any sense he doesn't really have any evidence to back that [ __ ] up at all so he just kind of assumes that's the case so L suspect someone in the police force is Kira or maybe has access to police [ __ ] so he investigates Light Yagami for pretty much no reason oh wait no I'm sorry like [ __ ] Turner he just kind of assumes that he is Kira because his dad's a cop and apparently he's a little smart oh quick spoiler by the way light never shows off his intelligence anywhere in the movie so you know we're just gonna have to take their word for it late notices there are people following him but oh no he's too much of a [ __ ] to kill them Mia tries to convince him to kill them but apparently he's got no balls so you know in the original anime light didn't give a [ __ ] he always killed people who were in his way you know whoever was an obstacle for his plan of being the god of his new world this light is well there's no light way of saying this but lights are a [ __ ] coward all he does is act [ __ ] scared of everything whenever he's faced with the challenge in the movie he's always super [ __ ] afraid and runs away like a little [ __ ] in fact there are multiple instances where he just says hey I don't want to be here anymore this shit's too scary I quit [ __ ] everyone [ __ ] this [ __ ] what am I even doing and that goes back to what I was saying he doesn't really have a strong motivation to just keep killing he just kind of thinks he's a superhero for a little bit but once things get hot oh boy he really wants to get off that [ __ ] Kirra bandwagon immediately oh there's light sucks I'm sure some of you will say oh well he's just a teenager goofs of course he's scared [ __ ] Light Yagami was a [ __ ] teenager too difference is the guy actually knew how to face his problems and had great schemes to get rid of his obstacles [ __ ] man grow a pair of balls [ __ ] well at least light Turner isn't a complete idiot right I mean it's not like he's running around school yelling at the top of his lungs about the death numbers what the [ __ ] is wrong with you shut up about the Death Note there's a [ __ ] girl walking by you why don't you think they can't connect two and two together well apparently they can't because apparently it's totally cool to bring a [ __ ] ancient Lovecraftian book to school and apparently the students have casual talk about killing people in the hallways all the time so light is Right Turner is mad cuz he thinks Ryu killed all those FBI agents the one that was following him and who the [ __ ] cares for some reason he thinks Ryu did it even after the past user of the book warns him not to trust me u k-- he's not a friend so you know why would he do that but whatever he still somehow thinks ryuk wants to help him so yeah those FBI agents are all dead now wow that's totally not gonna pin point light as a suspect you think that's [ __ ] raw check out this brilliant scene so dad Turner finds it appropriate that he needs to send the message to Kira that he's not afraid of Kira and what does light do nothing [ __ ] no I mean Mia the crazy [ __ ] wants to kill him but of course light doesn't but you know Mia she's kind of in the right for this if you kill him that just doesn't that you [ __ ] idiot kill him so because of this light basically puts a giant [ __ ] X on his forehead he put a giant spotlight on himself and they splayed his [ __ ] out with a tattoo pointing at his anus that says come in officer so you know L kind of figures out the obvious that light is Kira [ __ ] I mean obviously [ __ ] so then L confronts light up my world like nobody else Turner in this cafe place and basically simulate that one really cool scene from the anime where light tells L that he is in fact L it's actually such a good [ __ ] scene that I highly recommend checking it out for yourself glad the anime so [ __ ] good so this scene should be [ __ ] great right I mean he's here to confront Kira head-on Kira can't really do anything about it cuz if he dies immediately everyone will know light is Kira I mean it's such a [ __ ] great scene how can you mess this up it's already written for you oh well let me just reenact what the movie does for you hey light eye Mel oh well hey you're Kira aren't you Oh gee-whiz what makes you say that your dad didn't die today so so you're Kira no no I'm not Kira you sure yep totally sure hmm now I'm pretty sure Kira no siree boy nah Kira well okay but how'd you do it Kira oh well I'm not telling you but but let me vaguely tell you how I did it if I work here oh cool thanks for basically confirming your Kira no probs wait what the [ __ ] was that so light [ __ ] dumbass Turner basically OJ Simpson and just hold L if I did it this is how it might have been done so basically L has a quasi confession by light but you know nothing happens [ __ ] cool what a pointless [ __ ] scene what a pointless [ __ ] scene why are you showing him your face you [ __ ] idiot now all he needs is your [ __ ] name what are you doing it's not like in the anime Elle shows his face to light but in the anime L was using the alias of a famous actor so in case light thought he was the real L and wrote down the name he would have accidentally thought of the actor instead killing him and just straight up making him guilty not only that light can't even confirm L really is L for all he knows it could have just been some random weirdo claiming he's L under l's instruction that's brilliant unlike in the film where black L straight-up says I'm L I'm hunting for Kira earlier on in the film - the whole goddamn world it's obvious that this man is legit l and that's his face it's so [ __ ] stupid so anyway me of the Kingdom of [ __ ] waits by the stoop of lights house to apologize they make a quick exchange about how [ __ ] up it was that they nearly killed lights dad but then me is like I love you and suddenly they [ __ ] like as if this is some romantic [ __ ] or something I don't know throughout the entire movie thus far Death Note has tried its damnedest to make light and Mia seem like this tragic young couple who are in love and way over their heads but the romance between the two can be summed up by this scene all it takes is an action from one another and they just go gaga over each other anytime light kills with the notebook mia gets hot and horny and starts [ __ ] light any time Mia displays any sense of romantic feelings towards light like it's a [ __ ] boner and they just sex it up it's shallow like a [ __ ] puddle I can't actually believe that there are some people who just think otherwise maybe there's something to this romance that I'm missing but [ __ ] these two individually aren't even interesting people mia is somewhat ambitious about being one-half of Kira but she doesn't seem to have any goals in mind other than to kill bad people she never really explained why bad people in the first place there are many times throughout the story where she clearly states she doesn't like anybody in general but whatever then there's light who just let's be honest does this for the puss together they just don't make a cute couple at all they make a [ __ ] team but we'll talk more about that later whatever lady Mia of sex land and flight but not fight Turner both come up with a plan let's kill Elle hey that's that's that's pretty smart yeah I agree let's go well so how are they gonna do it oh yeah well they're gonna go after his right-hand man whaat buddy unfortunately for them what today is just an alias so they do something that's actually pretty smart and clever was surprisingly enjoyable to watch see they come up with this elaborate plan to trick Wapiti into revealing his name but I'm just [ __ ] kidding they just write down Wafaa T because this movie's [ __ ] stupid what the [ __ ] there's a million rules in this stupid-ass Death Note and now one of them say you can't use the alias of a person for their name or better yet if that is his real name there's no rule that says you can't just write down one name do you need a first and last name what am I am I to believe that Wapiti isn't an alias and that's his full given name at birth excuse me [ __ ] hello [ __ ] l has an alias it's L you think that if L knows about Kira being all psychic and whatever because that is his theory he thinks that Kira has psychic powers you think he'd tell Wapiti watch hurry don't go outside without covering your face first okay or watery we need a fake alias for you I mean what the [ __ ] it's [ __ ] lazy this is the most laziest thing I've seen in this film thus far I'll just [ __ ] say it's the laziest thing in this film that I can think of I can just picture it the writers were all in one room bored out of their minds and they had no real integrity or creative juices left in their brains so they just come up with some stupid [ __ ] and just decided oh why don't we just make wata to his name yeah sure cool I mean [ __ ] doesn't make sense but [ __ ] it whatta D is his full given name it's like Mario from the Super Mario movie [ __ ] Mario Mario watery watery do long-lost relatives [ __ ] Christ Jesus Christ huh anyways they yeah so they do this dumb [ __ ] thing where they just a squat 34 ELLs real name and of course he doesn't know the name so they do this thing where they force him to find the name for them but the thing is he only has 48 hours otherwise he'll just die the plan is to burn the page because if apparently if you burn the page won't get whatever now this creates a sort of illusion of suspense it makes you feel like oh my gosh how [ __ ] exciting he only has 48 hours will he be able to find the name and time in reality this illusion of suspense is supposed to trick you into forget that they can literally command him to just kill L and then kill himself Wow doesn't that sound easier here I'll help you just write the following down what that he awakens from his slumber and in a blind rage caused by sleepwalking murders L in a horrific and brutal way still sleepwalking wot that he writes on the wall with Elle's blood kira is justice once awoken by his own trance lot that he observes what he has done and is struck by an immeasurable amount of crippling guilt and sorrow he takes a sharp object from the room and slices his own throat [ __ ] there boom you got your complex long-ass Death Note out on the [ __ ] way it's it lines up what light has written so far so you know I think it works I know it's super long but trust me every death so far is written in some complex needlessly long way I'd assume this is how they would have written it my God where was I I'm sorry the closer we get to the end the dumber it gets you can really feel the restraint the writers had to deal with in the next half hour honestly whoever thought this live-action adaptation was best as a movie was [ __ ] dumb and wrong they clearly needed another three hours to fully flesh out a decent story but let's just let's just [ __ ] finish this l wakes up notices that there is an alali pop in his mouth and his suspicious of this and finds out oh no Papa Wapiti is missing he [ __ ] somehow gets access to lights household and just barges right in okay yeah [ __ ] weirdo he then claims light has something to do with why that he's disappearance yet he literally has no evidence to prove this actually when you really think about it he kind of has no evidence of anything at all it just kind of has this hunch this whole time I mean sure Hiro never kills dad Turner big sirens going off there but there's no hard evidence that points him directly as Kira regardless of that [ __ ] L goes ham and pretty much orders the entire Seattle precinct to just bust in with the most flimsiest warrant mankind has ever known and search up the place dead Turner being a [ __ ] [ __ ] starts to suspect hmm maybe maybe light is probably Kira it's kind of strange how I'm not dead yet it is pretty weird that Kira has access to police files I'm police wait am i Kira wait no of course not am I hmm I'm [ __ ] dumb so lights a little worried because they might have found the death no but you know Mia being not totally [ __ ] stupid informs light that hey I got the notebook stupid also here's your top hat meanwhile New York's scariest abandoned Dutch angle mansion we can see what that he is steadily getting closer to Elish true identity I actually kind of like this scene a lot I mean the needlessly creepy aesthetic aside I think this whole environment is incredibly well shot and well done yes there are a few Dutch angles here and there but this is pretty much what they were made for in the first place to insinuate a feeling of disorientation and confusion it's supposed to be unsettling and it is again the one thing I just don't like about the scene is simply why is it so creepy I like the creepiness but honestly there's no reason for it to be this way it's an abandoned orphanage for kids to grow up to be a smart detective which is oddly specific because I don't know why we needed to stop at detective prodigies but okay it just doesn't make much sense but whatever though I still very much enjoyed the scene it really shows what kind of direction they wanted to take this movie if this Death Note movie was adapted into something more horror esque then we might have had something very interesting the sad truth is it ended up a dumb teen romance film so it's prom night [ __ ] beautiful prom night what a cliche lighten me I try to act cool while looking like the biggest [ __ ] dweebs in existence and light slips away to see how what he's doing turns out not so hot why did he's super close to finding our identity and welp he dies because you know lights dumb like thought he could save like that he's life but unfortunately he discovers quickly that hey maybe me as a [ __ ] maybe if your dick wasn't so hard for her all the time he'd realize she's kind of [ __ ] evil but whatever like confronts me and she's all like yeah I'm a master planner I planned everything from the start and you're a [ __ ] now I'm gonna kill you by writing your name down in the notebook and if you don't give me back that notebook now I'm gonna make sure you die now get that notebook unsupervised I totally trust you to not write my name down while you're getting it because I'm such a master planner real quick just want to mention this [ __ ] what how'd you know this guy was an FBI agent well I told you he was being followed sure but he never actually specified what the guy looked like he had just happened to assume this guy was an FBI agent somehow hit the jackpot what if you know he is an FBI agent but for a different case what then master planner you would have killed an FBI agent that had nothing to do with the case actually what if he wasn't an FBI agent at all you would have just tased an innocent bystander in that case would you have killed him or would you have just left a little sticky note saying oops sorry about the tasing xD lol hashtag sorry not sorry hashtag i'm kyra hashtag JK i'm not seriously [ __ ] [ __ ] anyway l finds out his baby boy whatta T is dead through no fault of his whatsoever maybe you know you should have given him an alias or giving him a copy of your turtleneck I don't know I'm not pointing fingers here or anything l then takes out this giant briefcase contains a gun from the Year 2029 basically in the sides I'm gonna go all Robocop on this [ __ ] light turner even though I have no evidence he actually is Kira but whatever white boys gonna die tonight then suddenly dad Turner's spider sense is tingling just caused the entire police squad to go after L I don't know why he just sort of has this feeling that L is currently speeding down the streets on a police vehicle with the 22nd century revolver I guess like does some dumb [ __ ] and Mia finds out the cops are getting close to capturing light they text with emojis and decide they should meet up in the ferris wheel because that might make an interesting climax venue that's when this cop walks in and I [ __ ] you not does the funniest [ __ ] thing in this entire movie okay check it the officer walks in and charges after what we assume is light by the computer only to be confronted by ah nothing [ __ ] nothing and he just for some reason touches the keyboard like a [ __ ] the [ __ ] is wrong with you he just located the closest place l I mean light [ __ ] whatever light might have been runs towards it and is so enamored by this one particular keyboard that he is just so compelled to touch it gently and then just press a few buttons like [ __ ] oh my god I love this dumb scene and yes I know the dumb Kira subreddit is on the screen just barely though but it makes them suspicious of that computer being the last known location of light but [ __ ] whatever it's still looking stupid and awkwardly done what the [ __ ] anyway a big dumb chase scene happens between our boys L and the four warriors of light Turner this scene is actually also pretty hilarious because it is the biggest dumbest clumsily choreographed a scene I've ever seen it's so [ __ ] drawn-out and boring and silly-- it really it makes both of these guys seem like total [ __ ] jackasses really l did you really have to [ __ ] run on top of this counter was that necessary for you to just catch up with Kira you'd why finally l catches up with late because sure the two of them have a quick little chat before BAM eles knocked the [ __ ] out by mr. plot needs to advance let's hurry this up already like grabs the gun made out of unobtainium and meets up with mia by the ferris wheel the to get in and light reveals that he wrote me his name down in the book because you know he's not totally [ __ ] in that then she gets so [ __ ] furious and you know you can't you wrote his name in the notebook what the [ __ ] honestly did you think he was gonna do in between the time he got your notebook and came back what do you think he was gonna do he what do you think he's gonna be super stoked about knowing that he was gonna die at midnight and that his girlfriend called him a [ __ ] and basically revealed that she's a total [ __ ] psychopath I mean we all knew that already lights a little slow but you know he needed some time to think about he's a slow boy just give him a chance then the ferris wheel begins to collapse and the two lovebirds have their final embrace together as light is acting all sad and dramatic about how he and his girl is about to die boohoo then dramatic music plays because [ __ ] this dumb movie and Mia dies in such a beautiful poetic tragic not at all pretentious way while light hits the water sending him into a coma cool Elle is then confronted by what I assume is the police chief or some important big [ __ ] guy who basically pins all the blame on him for some reason I don't know why it's not like he [ __ ] destroy the entire ferris wheel with his mind but whatever it's all his fault because he's blah meanwhile light is a carrot and some mysterious figure hands him to death no that's when Dad Turner walks in to confront light because he now knows what two plus two equals yes dad light is Kira this is when you can hear the moaning of a room full of writers as they jerk off to the final scene that I'm sure they thought was brilliant in reality it's just convoluted and dumb and doesn't really make any sense and it's kind of overly complicated but that's okay let's let's just let's leave the writers alone on this one let them have this one it's super smart and amazing Wow nobody could have thought of this not even the original writer of the manga he's too Japanese to realize what greatness American writers hold so then L also figures out what two times two equals then he burst into Mia's room I don't know you could have asked for permission to go in there but whatever finding a page of The Death Note in a calculus book now keep in mind this is just the page of the Death Note it's not the Death Note itself why am i mentioning this to confuse you about this one scene where L grabs a pen and is maniacally smiling as he presumably is about to write downlights name why I don't know this doesn't make any sense it's a page that contains all the names of the FBI agents sure but there's nothing on the page that states what it is for all he knows it just the page logging the deaths of the FBI agents this doesn't really prove anything maybe Mia has an interest in Kiran logged in all the debts that he committed maybe she really likes to support Kira or maybe has some sort of connections to Kira and is making sure all the deaths are written down on this piece of paper or some other bigger journal whatever the case may be Elle has no real clue what the page is or what it does to him it's just a simple piece of paper with a bunch of names on it but somehow he just knows it's a Death Note page and that if he writes down the name of his victim with the face in mind it'll kill them wow that's some imagination there but wait didn't you state the theory that Kira could have had psychic powers so what the [ __ ] does this piece of paper had to do with Kira's suppose it's like it's ours what the [ __ ] even okay so I just checked back and it turns out that Mia actually did write a bit more I forgot that she wrote down this FBI agent writes down the names of his fellow FBI agents that are after Kira followed by their face in his mind etc etc but that still doesn't really explain what the page is to him this is still just a piece of paper that just says this is what happened to the FBI agents it doesn't say that this is what the the paper does it doesn't say it's a murdering device that anyone can use at any time it doesn't say that you need psychic powers or whatever it's just a piece of paper that logged in the deaths and and what happened that day he doesn't even know that if you write their name down it'll kill them he doesn't know that effect it just says the FBI agent wrote down all the names and then they just fell off of a building it doesn't say why it happens it just it's just a piece of paper to him so anyways Ryu says some dumb [ __ ] and the movie ends that was it the whole movie up [Music] you know whenever I keep in mind that I will be reviewing a movie or a game I always tend to stay away from other people's reviews I don't want that clouding my judgment I'm not perfect sometimes I watch a movie that I actually like and I compare my thoughts on a movie with the critical consensus and I think to myself oh wait I guess this movie doesn't suck then I guess I'm just wrong but this one was hard to escape everyone knows flooring this movie from the get-go nobody liked it for a while and of course all the YouTube channels started making videos about what went wrong with the movie or why it sucks or other people's reviews or whatever just a quick side note I've always hated those kinds of videos the one that says why this movie sucked I just I don't really understand that I don't think you need to explain why a movie sucks I think everyone can figure out for themselves why a movie sucks especially in the case of Death Note this movie isn't great I think everyone knows this by now so I'm really adding nothing new to the bonfire of hate so when I saw everyone hating on this film I thought it was safe to watch other people's reviews because the majority was the same as my thoughts I'd assume though this only alienated me more if you can even believe that whenever I saw reviews on this movie I saw people making desperate attempts at claiming that there's some deep meaning to this movie as if this movie has some sort of analytical things about it that could be dissected so that we may find diamonds in the rough in this huge heap of trash I never got that feeling this is just some lazy caching made by people who never understood the original source material I had its core it's just like any other movie that's adapted that way for example Dragon Ball Z or when it was adapted into Dragonball Evolution of course that was bad of course that was [ __ ] there's no deep meaning and there's no real reason to go behind the scenes here's the behind the scenes scenario for you a bunch of money grubbing [ __ ] from America thought this is gonna be really good let's make a movie out of it even if it's really bad we're still gonna make a profit they made it it made a profit that was watched by a lot of people and that was how it was made there's no deep meaning behind it Death Note is a series about the concept of justice yes I understand the movie didn't have to be this way it could have gone a completely different route it didn't have to be as philosophical or as smart as the original source material but [ __ ] give it care there's nothing here that shows any sort of love for what it was for what it could be everything was so clumsy and so jarring that I sometimes can't see the potential this movie apparently has yes there are some very pretty shots in this film but that's as far as I could go when it comes to praise the dialogue is awkward the characters are honestly terrible not even terribly written they're just terrible people I hate them I don't like any of them and in the end the film expects you to feel heartbreak between Mia and light I just couldn't as ambitious as Mia was she was just a [ __ ] through and through light had no motivation to do what he was doing he wanted to have sex with a girl and even beforehand he really didn't even care for justice he just wanted petty little revenge against this one guy it was Ryu he was the only one that pushed him to kill people and while we're on the topic Ryu also has no real goal in mind either unlike the manga where he wanted to spectate the way people use the Death Note here he just sort of drops it by light for no reason and tells him to kill people within a week or else he'll take it away and he even threatens light sometimes that he'll kill him and tells him that if the police find the Death Note he'll kill light why is he mad that they found it is that illegal is that one of the the rules is it illegal to show other people the death note if so shouldn't you stop Mia I mean was it not you that stated he can just give it away if he didn't want it doesn't this technically count as giving it away Ryu is just a pointless CGI dummy there is no reason for his existence save for of course fanservice l as a character was attractive in his own way I hear that the actor was actually very enthusiastic about this and apparently he watched the entire anime and that does show there are some little quarks he adds to his role that makes it pretty charming and pretty believable that yes this is el he has the best performance out of everyone by far unfortunately what started off as a neat character a young detective who was a prodigy at his own field just ended up being this shitty [ __ ] who was just emotional and and acted upon instinct he ended up being this blood hungry maniac and he was the only person you can consider a hero but by the end of it he became just as insane as the main characters and yes I understand the motive behind that that going after Kira made him insane and crazy and a sociopath but how am I supposed to relate with this guy how am I supposed to cheer him on he's the one that's supposed to stop Kira he's the opposing force that the audience members are supposed to grab at day two and if they're not gravitating towards him they're gravitating towards light or Kira in this instance but again he's just not a good character he becomes this unattractive shell this husk of a vengeance [ __ ] and it's just not cool at all it is a lazily written piece of work that honestly doesn't seem like it was made by people who care and the ones that do care are few and far in between it's unfortunate cuz as much as I hated this film I did see there being just an inkling of potential people make it out to seem like this film had huge amounts of potential let's face it this was always supposed to be a quick buck for Netflix and I have no doubt that it was I know it's bad but the amount of people talking about this film is just music to Netflix's ears regardless of what they say it's just pointing people towards the film it makes people curious and I have no doubt in my mind that this is one of their most profitable and viewed films this year and I have no doubt also that there will be a sequel probably just as badly - I hear people saying if they just had better writers or better casting or a better setting etc etc this could have potentially been a great film but [ __ ] you can say that about any movie ever made have a bit of optimism in your heart and the delusion that the film wasn't made by money-grubbing bastards and you can believe in whatever film to be amazing I have an ounce of blind optimism - I think if the writers had some [ __ ] breathing room to work with this could have been [ __ ] decent at least if this were a five-part miniseries or a ten part miniseries oh yeah it could have gone somewhere as it stands now we live in our own present time this is what we got no what-ifs here we live in the time line where some [ __ ] thought this was a good idea listen I understand there is a definite bias while reviewing this film I get that I'm a fanboy and you probably shouldn't trust my review just watch the film yourself and determine if I was right or wrong but I just cannot see how someone can watch this film as an outsider and think no this is pretty good I know some of you might have liked it and that's cool that you do but I'm still scratching my head over here so if you can explain why exactly you liked it please leave a comment down below as far as I can tell though this is a schlocky romantic horror film that has neither romantic nor horrifying The Death Note as a device of destruction is certainly an interesting concept that was not used to its fullest extent however as much as I didn't like the writing in this film at all I will give some credit to the director of this film there are some pretty good scenes in here as much as I harp on the use of Dutch angles I gotta say there are moments where the direct thing is pretty well done unfortunately there are so many lost opportunities in this film I will say that directing was well done but it never really wowed me if I can compare the anime with the movie real quick because you know I haven't really done that enough already the anime had some great art direction yes there were some [ __ ] ridiculous and stupid moments like lights eating a potato chip while killing victims or that dumb montage of him furiously writing down names - choir music right I get it it can be cheesy but the predominant use of blue and red to represent El and light respectively was always a fascinating way to represent each character I thought the director would have an eye for that but then again I doubt he even watched every episode in the first place had he noticed this he would have used it during the film's production taking this shot for example el is enveloped by red which we could say represents Kira he is currently on the scene of Kira's latest murder spree but nowhere in the film do we ever get the sense that red represents Kira maybe the red apples Ryu eats but [ __ ] off that's just wasted symbolism if we change this red shot into blue then it could represent L himself and show that he is now dominant an opposing force and he is now on the attack especially after being exposed by all that red in the room beforehand it would have been perfect to show opposing forces in color but no it's just a wasted opportunity once again or take this scene for example in the cafe similar to L situation before light is enveloped entirely by blue and when L shows up we see why because light is currently in the presence of L L has captured him and light is now cornered but again we never get the hint that blue represents L if I were directing this one scene I would have made more use of that red neon light shone outside well I thought there was a red Leon light outside but I would have put a red neon light outside let's just say that while dominantly being engulfed by blue by Elle's color I would have shown just a hint of red gleaming on light not too much but just to smudge enough to show that Kira is not totally out of the game just yet again what a waste listen I've ranted and Ray about this for far too long honestly I've just barely scratched the surface of complaints that I had okay actually I lied I pretty much destroy the surface at this point but I still have a ton of notes that I haven't been able to talk about this videos getting too long though and it's time for me to sign off in the end it doesn't really matter what the critical consensus is this was a quick buck for Netflix that's nothing more and nothing less I know that nobody really cared about this project you know save for the few that I have mentioned and this review like any other review isn't gonna stop them from making a sequel or from stopping them from making a remake of whatever else you love whatever other anime you like or whatever book you liked sometimes it's successful but are the times like this one instance didn't matter because we're gonna watch in the first place anyways so there you go it's a bad movie in my opinion but that's probably not gonna stop you from watching it now is it no in the end like any review this is my opinion do you either here to agree with me and disagree with me or be informed by me it's up to you to decide if you loved it hated it or just didn't care for it but I'm glad you all listened and stayed around to the very end thank you all so much for watching I'll see you all next time I love you goodbye [Music] [Music] [Music] you [Music]

Channel: Goose Boose

Views: 71,320

Rating: 4.849412 out of 5

Keywords: Death Note, Death Note 2017, Death Note Anime, Death Note Review, Death Note Sucks, Goose Boose, Pewdiepie

Id: M4zSPZgBoiY

Length: 52min 10sec (3130 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 09 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/p0kerx]

Well that happened.

[u/Ki-Gon]

For some reason Timmy Yagami made me crack up