- Hi, everyone, so you may have noticed that I've been a little bit more absent over the last month or two, and you may have seen on my Instagram or in the community section that I had a recent hospitalization, and this is why I've been
absent from the channel. So, I just wanted to provide
a little bit of an update about what exactly happened, what led me to be hospitalized and what that experience
this was like for me. So, my actual hospitalization
took place in October, but there was several factors that I want to talk first
about that kind of led up to why I was hospitalized. So, I guess when it boils down to it, what basically happened was that I stopped taking my medication. But on top of this, there are a lot of other
stressful life factors going on that kind of contributed
to my worsening condition. And that led to me being hospitalized. So, these included kind of
a stressful work schedule, where I was doing a lot
of speaking engagements in other cities throughout the province that included a lot of travel and kind of altered sleeping schedules, which really is something
that really affects me when my sleeping is off. That is generally an early
warning sign or indication that things are not going well. So, to have my sleep schedule
kind of thrown off by work ended up being kind of harmful and I was also having
different life stressors like I was in a relationship
conflict at the time time, and just everyday stressors,
like taking care of kids. And another factor that
I'm kind of learning plays a really big role
in terms of my wellness and my stability is the
changing of seasons. So, my last hospitalization was almost exactly three years ago. It took place in October as well. And so I think that the
changing of the season, so particularly from summer to fall and from winter to spring, those are kind of periods of time that I kind of need to look
out for a little bit more and be a little bit more
diligent about self-care during those periods of time. So in summary of all that, basically there was just a lot
of different life stressors going on at the time that kind of led to a bit of a spiraling in
terms of my mental wellness. And this coupled with the
fact that I was going through a bit of a dip in terms of my mood and I didn't have a lot of motivation or anything at the time. And a lot of the negative symptoms were coming to light more. And during this time, I
ran out of my medications and it started off with
me just not really caring about refilling them and not
really having the motivation to go to the pharmacy
and to get them refilled and that kind of spiraled
into delusional thought around medication and not
wanting to take the medication because I thought that it was poisonous or that it was being
used for mind control, which I've talked about in other videos as kind of common delusions of mine. So, there was a lot of factors at play that kind of led to me
being off medications and led to the spiraling that happened in terms of my mental wellbeing. So, when things really
got to a crisis point, it was one night where I
got into a bit of a conflict with my partner because he thought that I wasn't safe to drive on my own. And I really, really wanted
to get out of the house. I was feeling really
paranoid and really anxious about being in the house
and being around him. And I was just feeling
really paranoid and anxious and just needing to get out. So, we ended up having a bit of a fight about him hiding my keys on
me and that kind of escalated. And he ended up calling
a couple of friends over to kind of help with the situation, but it really just continued
to escalate from there. And at one point, I
just fled from the house because I just needed out
and I needed to be alone and away from the triggering things that were causing my paranoia and causing my racing
thoughts and whatnot. And I just needed to calm
my head as much as possible. And somehow, I convinced
myself that that meant leaving the house and just being on my own and getting into my own head space. So at one point, I was running
through the neighborhood trying to get away from
my friends and my partner while they were chasing me. And so, it wasn't a
very healthy situation. And I ended up returning to
the house and locking myself in my bedroom, which is when they made the
decision to call for help. So, they initially called
the crisis response team or the crisis support team, but they were unavailable at the time. So, they ended up calling the police who showed up pretty quickly
after they called I think, but I mean, for anyone
who's experienced the police coming from a mental health crisis, it's a little hit or
miss as to how the police is going to respond to the situation. And I was really lucky that
one of the police officers came in and immediately was like, Lauren. I remember you, you came to
talk to my recruits class, my police recruits class
about schizophrenia and about your experience
with schizophrenia and your experiences with police officers and whatnot with schizophrenia. And so, that was really reassuring to have that bit of connection with her. And she kind of was a
little bit better informed in terms of how to deal with
me and how to speak with me. And that really helped, but it was kind of in stark
contrast with her partner who took a really
aggressive, confrontational, hard approach with me,
which really didn't help. And at one point, I ended
up running away from him and trying to hop over a
fence and I got pulled back and he kind of aggressively pulled me back into the house and threw me into a chair. And so, it's easy to understand how those situations devolve like that, but I think it's really, really important to keep in mind the
importance of treating people in the midst of psychosis with a lot of compassion and empathy, because they're scared. Like I was so scared at the time. I didn't know who to trust. My thoughts were racing. I was filled with paranoid
thoughts and delusions, and I didn't know how to
grasp reality in a proper way. And so, it was really helpful
for the one police officer to take a really gentle approach with me and to establish trust
and a connection with me in terms of moving forward in a meaningful and constructive way. So, the police officers
decided to put me on a form 10, which is where the police
officers can decide to apprehend me under
the Mental Health Act and take me to the hospital to be assessed by a psychiatry team. So, one of my friends came
with me in the police car and together we went to one
of the local emergency rooms. It was a really difficult experience. I don't think that a
lot of emergency rooms are really set up to adequately deal with or to really effectively help somebody who's in the throws of psychosis or who's dealing with
symptoms of schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder. It kind of devolved into a really confrontational experience. And there was a lot of
power struggle going on within that environment that I don't think was conducive
to effective treatment. That said, there were a few psychiatrists who I met with in the ER
who were really great, and they did establish
rapport with me and trust, and they did a really good job, but generally speaking, the
care there was kind of lacking. And it was kind of an
unfortunate environment for me to be in, in the
state that I was in. In my last hospitalization, I had a really, really
traumatic experience in one of the holding cells that they have in the emergency room
for psychiatric patients. It's basically just a
room of white cinderblocks and a metal bed frame. And it's not a comfortable
environment to be in at all. And especially when I had
those traumatic memories from my last one, my last
experience in the hospital, I really, really did not want
to be in one of those rooms, but I ended up being locked
alone in one of those rooms. And it was a really, really
traumatic experience again. I ended up being sedated with medications, which had a huge effect on my
memory and a lot of the three, I think days that I spent in that ER room are kind of lost on me
and have been filled in by my friends and family
who were around at the time. So, what basically ended up happening was that the psychiatrist in the ER decided to admit me to the hospital and to keep me formed under
the Mental Health Act. So I was an involuntary
patient in the hospital and basically my stay in
the ER was basically... It was like a holding cell basically until we found a bed for me. And it took several days
for them to find a bed. And I think it's really unfortunate that there wasn't a lot of
care provided in the ER. And that was kind of a critical point in terms of the throws
of my mental illness where I needed a lot of care. And it was really just a holding cell waiting for a bed to open
up in a different location. And I think that that's probably a gap in the current mental health care system. So, what I mean by a holding cell was that it really just
felt like the staff there were waiting for my
medications to kick in. And I was really just being kept there under somewhat observation. I guess I was under observation waiting for my medications to take effect. There was no additional therapy
or really anyone to talk to about what was going on or
what I was experiencing. And there was no additional
support provided. So, that's why it was
really, really important that I was so, so lucky
that I had a lot of friends and family who supported
me through that period and were there for me to talk to and were there to advocate for me when I couldn't advocate for myself. And so, that's why it's
really, really important to build a support network
as best as possible when you're well so that you have a little bit more cushioning around you in terms of the people in your life who are there to support
and advocate for you during these tougher periods
of your mental illness. So, when I was finally assigned a bed at a different hospital, a
psychiatric hospital in town, I had to be transported
there by ambulance. This was a really, really
terrifying thing for me because my last experience
being transported to this hospital by ambulance
was a really awful one. I was blindfolded in the ambulance and it was a really bad
experience, a traumatic experience. And so I was really, really terrified to get in the ambulance again, but this time my partner,
Rob, was able to ride with me. So, that added an additional
element to security. And they also gave me more
tranquilizing medications, which also helped to kind
of alleviate the situation. I don't remember a lot about it because of those tranquilizing meds that kind of just wiped my memory throughout this whole process, but Rob kind of filled me in
that I was a little difficult. So, when I actually got to
the psychiatric hospital, the care there was a lot better, substantially better than the ER that I had been in priorly, previously. There was less of that power
struggle that was going on in terms of the staff
exerting power over me and controlling dynamic and stuff. And it felt like a more
collaborative wellness, conducive environment to be in. That said, I do think that
it was still a little lacking in terms of services provided
in the week and a half that I was there. I never once even saw my social worker. I never even met him. And I think that's probably a gaping hole in terms of the care
that was provided there. I did see an occupational therapist. I don't remember a lot
about that conversation because of the meds that I was on. But again, I had friends and family there to kind of fill me in on
what happened with that and to advocate for me
with those support people. Not once did I see a psychologist
or therapist of any kind and there was no peer support programs or anything like that. It was really just seeing my
psychiatrist when she was in. She was really great, but again, seeing her briefly when she was in and the nurses who were on staff for the whole duration of my stay. Other than that, there wasn't
a lot of support staff. I was only there for a week and a half, which is a relatively,
really, really short stay and is kind of a bit of an anomaly. The last time that I
was hospitalized there, I was there for just over a month. And most people who are hospitalized there are there for at least a few weeks. So, it was kind of odd that I was there for the shortest day, but I guess I'm just lucky in that sense that my body really
responded to the medications that they were giving me really quickly. And so, I was able to stabilize and be in a place of relative wellness where I could go home
as early as possible, which was only like a week and a half in, which was really nice for me because I really don't like
the hospital environment. And so, it was nice to be able to continue with my recovery at home. The actual discharge process
was a little lacking as well. I met with my psychiatrist
when I was discharged, but that was it. There was no discharge
planning or anything which may have been because I had a really
supportive person there, Rob my partner. So, they may have just thought that I didn't need the additional support, but that was definitely
something that was lacking in terms of the discharge process. They also didn't ensure
that I was connected with my support team
outside of the hospital, which was probably another
hole in terms of the care that was provided in
terms of the discharge. But what I really wanted to
just convey with this video is to just kind of demystify the process of being hospitalized and
to hopefully shed light on the fact that it's
not always going to be the best environment for
someone who's experiencing a mental health crisis, but
it's still important for you to be in that place when you are experiencing
a mental health crisis because that is where
you are going to be able to be connected with the
treatment that you need. And I think what's important to remember and to take away also from
this is just the earlier or the earliest that you can
intervene in your own care and earliest that you can get
connected with supports and... Supports and care, the better because the more clearheaded
you are and the less symptoms that you're experiencing, the more receptive you are going to be to the health of the
system can provide you, and the more receptive the system is going to be to providing you that care. So, I think just a huge
takeaway that I want to convey is the importance of early intervention and the importance of
reaching out for help as early as possible in
order to kind of mitigate the negative components of
the mental healthcare system and to just try to make
it as best of a experience for yourself as possible. The other really important
thing that I want to convey, and I kind of touched on
it earlier in this video was just the importance of having a really strong support
network around you. This was so crucial in terms
of this hospitalization for me because when you're hospitalized
under the Mental Health Act or for a mental health issue, you're there because the staff
or the support teams there don't find you competent or
don't find you mentally fit. And so, it's really important
to have people around you who care about your opinion and who care about what you're saying
and what you're feeling and who can advocate for
you in those circumstances when you can't necessarily
advocate for yourself because they disregard what you're saying or just because you're not in a state to really advocate for yourself. So, thank you so much
for watching this video. I hope that it was helpful
in terms of kind of demystifying the process
of being hospitalized and just kind of shedding
a little bit more light on what hospitalization might look like or what might lead to a hospitalization for someone who's living
with schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder. It's not the easiest for me to talk openly about this experience
with being hospitalized because there is still so much stigma around being hospitalized
for a mental health issue, especially having to deal
with different components of the mental health
care system like police and like the nursing at the ER or the nursing staff at the
ER, the psychiatric hospital. There's a lot of stigma around accessing those kinds of supports and services. But I want to just kind of reiterate that there is no shame around
accessing these services, and it's not something
that you should feel that you need to hide or that you should feel shameful over. If you need the help,
make sure to reach out and don't let the
negative stigma around it hamper your decision to
reach out for that help. So, thanks so much for
your continued support at both me and this channel. I'm hoping to be back making
more videos for you all. And if you want to support
the creation of future videos, make sure to check out my Patreon page where you can help support
the creation of videos on this channel. Thanks so much again for watching and wishing you and your
loved ones good health. (calming music)
Thankfully reddit makes me a bit more comfortable about sharing this.
I'm bipolar 1, before i got medicated and actually started taking care of myself I had a involuntary hospitalization from my therapist office at the VA.
This being said I've been on the other end of this a few times taking patients with various mental disorders to crisis (mostly).
My grievance comes from other EMTs. Even if the patients life isn't in immediate danger they might not exactly understand that. Especially when you're lost in manic delusions, religious fixation, grandiose thoughts or paranoid delusions. It's not a "bullshit call" and it's not a "waste of time" and their complaint should be treated with the same care and respect as every other patient.
I've never blindfolded a 5150 for transport.
I'm always super empathetic to everyone -- you never know what their situation is and what led them to be where they are.
Also, who the fuck puts a mental pt in a ER holding room for days?
Mandatory hospitalizations, 90% of the time, are far more harmful than good. They’re a direct result of our over-litigious society and it’s a shame that we have to do it to people just to cover our own asses. I’ve never had a patient benefit from being forced into a hospital or mental health program against their will
I have PTSD (which I don't disclose at work ever ever) as a survivor of childhood incest. I was misdiagnosed with schizoaffective disorder in college and was probably hospitalized inpatient over 40 times (plus tried out dozens of medications) between 2011 and 2016 in my early 20s until I got correctly diagnosed with PTSD, received trauma-informed therapy and got myself out of my awful life pattern (and off antipsychotics, which didn't help with PTSD at all). I made a bunch of friends in those units I still have.
I try not to let my personal experiences cloud my judgment, but there have been few times I've questioned a psych patient's presentation (tachycardia, tachypnea, chest pain, visible diaphoresis) as "just psych" or "just anxiety" and colleagues and facility staff would assume I must be inexperienced with psych patients (ha) because I would take their presentation at face value and give them benefit of the doubt as far as medical complaint (unless I actually found evidence they were an unreliable narrator). Well wouldn't you know it, some of these psych transfers I questioned actually had to get sent back to the ED by the psych facility, sometimes I would find out later they were admitted to medicine (cardiology, ICU, etc.).
What's really awkward is when the young psych pt who is in that stage of her life of being ///really/// into her diagnoses of how fucked up she is (or maybe older but never grew out of it) decides to ask your BLS opinion on psych meds you have strong opinions on but are definitely out of your scope of practice.
Yo it's great to hear the patient's point of view but who dafuq blindfolds patients for transport.
Is it common to blindfold a mental health patient during transport?
Maybe the blindfold thing is bs? Never heard of it.
I'm an EMT-B, how much training have you paras gotten on behavioral/psych emergencies? I got virtually none in my EMT-B program, like a 1 hour lecture that basically was just like "be empathetic" and my program was one of the better ones here in Washington. For how much of our call volume behavioral/psych calls are it has always confused me why we get so little training on how to handle them.