Most Useless Items in D&D

do you remember when you looked at starting equipment when you were making your character and then you looked at it again neither do i because starting equipment generally sucks I think we've all agreed on that but it's actually not true I mean in some cases it absolutely is true and I'm going to start with those specific cases first often gonna start with acid bile you can either splash this [ __ ] at somebody or throw it at 20 feet and it shatters and if it hits as an improvised weapon which means you can never really actually have proficiency with this thing it will do 2d6 acid damage and that is it can I ask the people who made this item Wyatt cost 25 gold per use that's ridiculous next up is the lantern it would make sense because I think we've all at least depended on a lantern when our electricity went out but this is 5th edition every single class and every single race has dark vision we're never going to use this thing after that we have poison just a little vial of poison have you ever heard of the spell bless a first-level spell that lasts for one minute giving 10 rounds of an added D for damage imagine there was an item that did the same thing but only worked once sounds as shitty and useless as true strike doesn't it then why the hell does it cost a hundred gold that's as much as a common magic item a hundred gold is half as much that you need to buy an actual elephant a trained elephant after that we have [ __ ] like alchemists fire which cost half as much and we'll do one d4 which is still more because it does it continuously over rounds but it's still a piece of [ __ ] then we have antitoxin which is literally only good for hunting spiders and snakes there's no other reason that you would buy this in preparation for some very very specific event unless you're paranoid now moving a little bit further away from shitty items we have oil oil in Dungeons & Dragons 5th edition is a gift from the gods themselves it's a fuel for heat it's a Lube for squeaky doors and tin men and it's an improvised combo weapon that does flat fire damage a solid amount more than a d4 could ever accomplish at a total v and it can burn an area of 5 feet by 5 feet and anything that enters that area doesn't have to make a say it can't make a save it can't be affected by some sort of damage die it immediately is done v flat fire damage so if you use this efficiently because it cost one silver that's one gold point for 50 to 100 fire damage I think that's a little bit better than a vial of goddamn poison then there's other stuff that you probably take advantage of but if your DM is a little ruthless then a backpack is something that is absolutely necessary for you to consciously buy it has one cubic feet of internal space but staples and pouches to the side and wrap a rope around it boom 20 extra pairs of hands that you didn't have before and then rope on top of oil this is the most important item in all of D&D it's as diverse as a bathroom towel because this item can be used for the following climbing mountains crossing ravines binding captives combining items weapons of momentum kinky stuff lassoing animals synergy with mage hand grappling hooks and bear traps building rafts traps shelters and bolas pulling creatures crossing fast rivers sling splints and belts oh my if you don't have a rope if every person in your party doesn't have a rope you're basically losing at D&D after that we have stuff like ball bearings another thing that no one will ever look at a second time and probably not use in a level 1 to 20 campaign but these things can be used as sling mo tripping tools which you really should be using this stuff slows down anyone no matter what I used it to get away from guards and then died promptly but we're moving on from that you can also use it as stuff like rust monster bait you can be creative with every single item in the equipment list that isn't magical you can make it magical like cow trips for existence they're pretty much the same thing as above but funny they're like you throw Legos on the ground and the guards have to walk over them while they're chasing you then there's the option of buying ten feet of string this comes with a burglars pack and because it does you can use it as a murder weapon a burglar tool or a small-scale crafting tool this stuff is incredibly useful if you know what to do with it then you have a bell just a normal bell that you can use as a distraction if you toss it quietly enough or an alarm tool you also have a candle with one full hour of burning time useful to start a fire quickly and then you can buy a crowbar which is it it's a goddamn crowbar go buy a crowbar or you can buy a hammer which is a pressure tool you can hit people with it it's a precision pick and you can hit people with it or you can buy patents these things are pretty weird if you don't know what they are they're kind of like little daggers that you stab into mountains when you're climbing and they're used for climbing both mountains and buildings you can use them to avoid fall damage as it catches you after you fall for ten feet or is a discreet weapon it doesn't look like you're gonna stab someone with it until they see the fire in your eyes then you have rations your diem probably forgot to ask you to buy these and you probably didn't care about them because someone in your party's that [ __ ] permit or a traveler or whatever and they can just feed you but still this stuff is awesome first of all jerky is delicious go buy jerky if you live in America it is $700 for a reason it's amazing secondly it can help with coaxing wild animals dried fruits are just all so friggin tasty and a hard tack is dry salty ass bread and they're all that also has nuts this stuff keeps you not dead then you have a tinderbox you can use it to start a dry fire as one action for any other fire within a minute you can use it to burn down farms bandit camps open fields teeming with young life or with oil the [ __ ] that I mentioned earlier that stuff is amazing go buy all of it everyone buy oil then you have a water skin fun fact about water skins it's literally an animal bladder enjoy that knowledge they're good for holding most liquids and might be less I guess puncture able in place of potions and stuff maybe not but they're also good floaties if you have a halfling in your party that just can't swim you can also purchase a lock it comes with a key and if you put the lock on something you can't get it without the key or thieves tools then you have block-and-tackle I didn't want to do math for this thing but it's literally a pulley system that helps you carry four times your normal lifting weight I'm pretty sure if you're a Goliath or a half-orc you could probably carry an entire boat up a mountain if you really wanted to flex on your party members go by the ship and then you have component pouches which aren't just a little bag with every little thing you could possibly use it's literally Batman's belt for wizards it's amazing if you wanted to dump it out and then put different types of trail mix or berries in each one and then dole them out like you're a wizard or you have a healer's kit which is if you don't have a cleric you can cast spare the dying over a really long amount of time but it's better than nothing you've also got holy water which is good for fiends or Undead that's it or hunting traps this is good for trapping beasts bandits delicious halflings or elder tors who happen to use legs I like to tie it to myself instead of a tree and just Huck the trap at people ten percent of the time it works a hundred percent of the time then there's a magnifying glass it's good for looking at tiny things or starting fires I mean it takes five minutes but wait why does this cost half as much as an elephant you can also buy manacles you put them on people and it makes them unhappy you don't even have to roll or anything it just happens then you have the option of buying a portable Ram this thing weighs 335 35 pounds I think if if you bought it you probably know where you're gonna use it with you don't need me to tell you next up you have a spell book I feel like I don't need to tell you guys what this is because I just did but a fun fact the pages in spell books are actually made of vellum the skin of baby cows you monster also I don't know why you can buy it but under this list of items there's a merchant scale it's a scale that includes a small balance some pans and suitable assortment of weights up to two pounds with it you can measure the exact weight of small objects such as Rahab precious metals or trade goods to help determine their work why would you buy no and just because I snagged you with some clickbait I can't let you go without my actual answer I hate sovereign glue it can't do anything and I wage war in the comments until we find more than one good thing to use with [ __ ] glue okay I did have one actual good idea when we were playing a while ago it's where you get a top hat and you also have to have a bag of holding and then a portable hole now you put sovereign glue on the portable hole first you wrap your phylactery inside of that hole and stick it to the top of the hat and then you coat the outside of the bag of holding with more glue then you stick that thing inside the Hat to boom you're an immortal lich who spawns within 10 feet of your hat no matter what the thanks for watching one interesting thing I noticed about books that you can buy is that they already have writing in them if you go and buy a book cuz you need somewhere to write and the DM told you that you can't just remember things that easily this book already has like poetry or history in it I don't know why you'd buy these please tell me

Channel: Runesmith

Views: 1,585,620

Keywords: equipment, d&d, dnd, dungeons and dragons, items, useless, non magic, tools, rope, oil, fantasy, roleplay, poison, elephants, Dnd, 5e, 5th edition, tutorial, funny, comedy, tabletop, game, tabletop games, dice, role play, role playing, rpg, easy listening, meme, memes, trending, parody, satire, sketch, sketch comedy

Id: doWAdSPfgdI

Length: 10min 47sec (647 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 30 2018