Morbius - Angry Movie Review

[Music] hey guys welcome to our review for sony's morbius starring jared leto and uh sort of a new entry into the sony verse of spiderman side characters um and uh yeah so this movie was originally intended to come out in january i could see why got pushed all the way to april don't know why i should have been pushed one more day to april first uh it was a good movie thank you so that i could put up this it was a great joy you wrote you got the setup i was gonna say this has been this was an amazing movie it was better than uh spider-man into the spider-verse it was better than uh toby uh mcguire and andrew garfield it was just [ __ ] amazing i sound weird on this hopefully this is doing fine uh it was really one of the best uh films i've seen in a really long time april fools this movie was uh pathetic it was uh boring it was uh uncompelling a lot of the side characters awful even the main characters not that great uh it's very blue i will say that they definitely like the blue hued everything the blue filter uh everything for night shine yeah just really crappy really generic and uh so let's see what how it's doing here i'm pulled up rotten tomatoes to see if anybody agrees with this the critics wow 17 don't normally see ones that low audience 64 of course uh yeah because it's not it's not that bad mentality people go to the movies because they want to be entertained it's [ __ ] on the piston well it's not that bad well that's the thing about halos they said about uh you know um a number of things every bad thing is there's somebody's like well it's not that bad um you're right it's not that bad it's not a ten percent it's not a one out of ten film at least not in my opinion um jared leto tries uh unfortunately did he though yeah you're right i mean he purdue produce he put money into it he wants to succeed he's not a bad actor like i've seen him do other stuff what's he doing is a guy hard up for money because this project i could you read that script and you're like what no thanks first first timer well we know who wrote it no they're not a first timer oh oh that's right the writer is from let us know who the writers were oh yeah that was burke sharpless just excellent last name uh and matt [Music] they got mad at us and and no we they were like they were going to pay us money and we were like no we cannot take money for this is terrible so it cost us money our integrity cost us money to not do the mobile game for that yeah um and the uh the film itself was better than the game but it was not very good uh they also did drag dracula untold in 2014 which was also a massive massive stinker uh they also did the last witch hunter which uh was probably the best of the lot but not not diesel family joe they're family that's just that was an obscure one so why doesn't more be i'm assuming you guys didn't like it either no i did not like it at all yeah uh yeah have we changed any settings over here um why didn't it work for you guys uh for me it was like the pacing is super fast but not in a good way like sometimes i don't mind if the pacing is pretty fast shit's going on uh this is your friend oh your friend's dead oh wait you fixed his heart you did everything with a ballpoint pen you're amazing and skipped to 25 years later you're successful doing [ __ ] as like i don't care about these characters like you i don't care about the characters yeah you don't really let and why would you like simmer even after watching all this all the the movie and everything like no scene stands out nothing stands out there's one not one that i liked not a single cgi it was so shitty yeah it was pretty bad i don't know why uh morbius has this effect on him that looks like i don't know glitter or not glitter but the purple trail smoke it's nice purple trail he's got yeah orange when he's wearing a prison jumpsuit it's i guess it's supposed to be like the [ __ ] sonar maybe some kind of visualization it looks stupid it looks cheap it looks stupid every time they go into slow mo they have to do every time they do a a cgi action between two cgi characters they slow it down and it just looks bad unfortunately bad cgi bad side characters why would you choose two comedians uh for the serious cops uh that are investigating gerry tyrese gibson he is not commenting but not for you know on purpose diaries needed money they gave me a million dollars i was like why would you say that they told you i wonder what tyrese everybody asked tyrese about will smith's will smith slapping chris wrong because he gave him money hey man i'll die for will smith he said no there's nothing really good about this movie like i'm trying to find one good ass don't spend money on this no no it's not it's not written competently it's definitely not shot confident competently these fighters are drinks did you drink any i had one beer and it still didn't make it great and i was like i did like the dance sequences because there's from matt smith matt smith dancing he's like all right now i'm doing you know because he's feeling good about himself yeah that made me laugh and that's the best part of the film yeah anyway even then that's a writ like that that's a that's a bad scene in other films it's like it is a feel-good thing but the if you're expecting a uh 3d rendered spectacle that you would get from a marvel thing it's there it's just not done and you could tell you can he's swiping at people from like this far away and then they die it's like but they didn't connect they forgot to do the pg-13 they've got to do the thing yeah there's also no contact there's no contact there's very little blood in the vampire movie um most most of the things that he drink is the titty milk from um yeah from star wars so he's drinking blue titty milk uh and they're calling it fake blood yes i mean it's artificial that's from the comic you know morbius is an anti-hero though here he's 100 hero uh he's trying to cure the world and stuff and try to help little kids out and he wants to drink the blue blood because it's artificial something he made himself and if he drink and he's really powerful with the blue blood but he's even more powerful with the red blood and the blue blood is running out and he needs to figure out how to do that but that side plot is forgotten about because we have a bigger thing to worry about we've got matt smith uh who's his childhood friend who obviously they both have the same chemistry theirs and everything was like too fast-paced for example like i didn't really give a [ __ ] about that you didn't give a [ __ ] about matt smith no he went from like like normal kind of guy into like super villain immediately it's like the worst and there's just one powerful slash sony sony it's sony villains or you think marvel villains are bad sony villains are even further down yeah cause like uh jared harris morbius's mentor that's what they have him as because i don't know his name they have him as his mentor yeah like the one scene matt smith is like hey you have always treated him better than me i was like when when did this happen jared harris emile nicholas yeah i was like when did this happen like you've always treated him better you always we don't see any is there was our scene was there i mean did i miss something you got him a scholarship you always loved him more i mean when did this happen i don't know but you know what i did appreciate and i wish it would have done more i mean jared leto is kind of quiet and he's so one note he's so kind of like but restrained you know he's trying to play it serious and matt smith is over here [ __ ] going crazy yeah he's like yeah i got my paycheck i don't give a [ __ ] doing one and honestly i wish it was more of that kind of [ __ ] if you're gonna [ __ ] be a crappy uh you know popcorn flick that isn't a good vampire movie and isn't a good superhero movie or anti-hero movie it's none of those things the least you can do is is try to entertain me with some of the the [ __ ] bombastic that matt smith damn that one joke was taken out it's like i'm venom no just kidding it was awful yeah they already spoiled that joke but yet the theater burst out laughing and i'm like are you okay well belly laughs from i'm venom okay i guess so uh those are the people maybe those are the people that are like joe you are so [ __ ] hard on things and you know you're a critic and i don't really know why you're a critic i just want you to uh like everything that you watch and only focus on what was good about you thank you you know you you're a lot of beef jerky right you know the silica packets in there that says do not eat the people who are belly laughing to that [ __ ] that's those are the people that those warnings are for right that if you're the kind of person that walks through a drug store and you start belly laughing to hallmark birthday cards you're like this is a funny this movie is made for you this movie was written by dumb people for dumb people if you're part of the people going like i like this great great go off and whatever the [ __ ] you do on a daily basis why we are here as critics understand that we've seen the story a few times done better in other films all of them the reason why exactly uh and the reason why we're not focusing on positive aspects of it and joe you should give it a six out of ten so i didn't think it was that bad it was actually all right movie uh what were the great parts of the film i told you i wouldn't pick one no i'm asking you to pick one uh go to him first i'll think um i'm trying to help him there's a there was a bat hadouken things get shot around yeah so there's several powers that are unexplained my girlfriend asked me so he could control bats why and i was like well it's from the comics but they didn't really explain it here they never explained his divine how they don't explain everything the relationship with the bats he's got a harp a harp machine that he cuts himself he puts his hand through two strings of the harp and and and the bats fly at him and then we fade to black it doesn't make any [ __ ] sense and all of a sudden he has a relationship with those bats yes um and uh it's the bats themselves that they explain that you know that their blood uh and and any splicing dna with uh bats and humans let's not do that we just went through something uh pretty pretty bad when when you mix some dna from when you mix viruses how come uh uh matt smith and be like nah i'm gonna control bats too right explain well because he didn't have the relationship from the bats from costa rica but those were from costa rica those are the ones from underground oh [ __ ] that's right yeah those are all right all brand new bats nah man the costa rica bats talk with the uh american bats than americans they haven't seen language they have accents yeah yeah that's just fascinating than this film because if you know every trope in the book this film does every trope in the book you see everything coming from a mile away you don't buy they have a romantic interest you don't buy their romantic interest you don't feel like all these fight scenes are badass because they're ruined by uh smokey colored cgi and everything is washed in an ugly blue uh you know it it's unfortunately a pathetic attempt for sony and you can tell sony desperately wants their own marvel universe with their characters that they bought and they need money and they want it and they're if a universe of their own venom morbius now ravens come talk about we'll talk about more of it and honestly sony just does not have the creative firepower and the good writers why the [ __ ] are you using the writers from gods of egypt like you look at their resume and you're like yes this is who i want in control and jared's like yep they're probably those people it's like this is a good movie wasn't that bad let's make a movie that's not that bad that's what happened we made a movie that's not that bad only that only because i do think it's bad only because we've seen it so many times and there's so much better content out of there it's like there's no point in this movie there's literally no point in this movie there will not be a morbius two i guaran [ __ ] tee it but and what sony is teasing in the there's two stingers and the first stinger is absolutely pathetic the second stinger is even more interesting but even more pathetic when you think about it doesn't make sense number one with what we've seen in the marvel universe and then number two it is it reeks of desperation how many times have they tried i'm i'm not gonna spoil it uh i'll talk about that in the spoilers but how many times has sony tried to do what they're trying to do at the end of this film and at the end of their other [ __ ] films and they're not paying it off is this the one that's finally going to pay it off no because we don't want to see i don't want to see it i don't want to see it they spoiled in the commercials oh you're right you're right they literally spoiled it in the commercials like national television vulture guy is in there and then they're trying to do their own [ __ ] uh um sinister six they're again trying to tease this i was hoping to team up i was hoping they had a vulture come in they would have an alternate universe one and they have the one that i want oh my god yes oh god joe let's see i'm gonna put up this picture up here that's the one that would when he saved the film 10 out of 10. michael keane walks in as the old man vulture with he's like wait this is a different youtuber i need a different gust i look weird that would have been him he's got that bullet come on yeah i would have liked it i gave it an extra point all right guys let's go ahead and give this film uh have we talked about it sufficiently uh oh yeah we uh to make it clear to you guys it's unfortunate don't watch this i'm a dozen and uh you can skip this don't care about any of the characters none none none not even the main character you don't care about michael morbius there's like it was cringe-worthy these uh love scenes they were trying to have and it's like these brotherly moments it's like oh well you know me from way back i was like no i we we had a scene like three minutes yeah you get these ridiculous bullies bullying the little kid it's just so over the top the filming was poor uh music i don't even know if is any music you're right this film has no style other than that it doesn't no there's nothing they tried to do this this 80s look and it actually kind of got me encouraged you know the title sequence in the end credit sequence where it's doing this v and it's doing pink and light blue and purple yeah i'm like oh this is this guy's gonna have some style to it then you watch the actual film there is zero style this is like film student you know this is like vanilla boring yeah this is the only creativity is uh plenty of helicopter pan shots when they're doing you know cgi and then slowing it down but when it all looks like [ __ ] it does it it doesn't oh i'm sorry no it's this movie is not memorable so it's not with your time i don't know yeah yeah but what what's your rating though out of ten i did three oh i'm sorry yeah yeah this movie isn't it isn't written well i don't think it's acted particularly well it's not shot well the fight choreography is bad the three the cgi is muddied and all kind of blends together um the comedy look even even the worst parts of venom and venom 2 are better than this and like those movies are not very good um this kind of thing would have been maybe acceptable to dumb people in the 90s when comic book movies were bad remember when they used to be kind of bad like video game movies and calm movies howard the so it's like the the thing is we've seen people take comics and elevate them oh yeah so i would i would actually probably rather watch fantastic four than this yeah depending on which it's fantastic well like if this one is trying to set up a universe that doesn't have a right to exist it should not exist they're trying to do their own thing but it's this is this universe is sadder than dc's universe and there's some bad movies in the dc universe when i walked out of this film i saw the batman poster and i was like god why didn't i just go see batman again that's what i was thinking you thought this yeah i looked over i was like i would rather go see batman again but you know we're reviewers and we gotta [ __ ] see honestly i'd rather go see that so this is why we're telling you like there's this out there and then there's batman and it's the same [ __ ] price to see both so this is unless your ticket's free and even if my ticket was free i kind of have better use of my time you know so unfortunately um it didn't work out what was your rating uh three three out of ten yes that sounds about right to me three out of ten uh i like to venom uh tom hardy is more interesting the venom character is more interesting than morbius morbius is like btmc team d team at this point um and i'm just not interesting yeah uh you don't need to make every goddamn [ __ ] marvel spider-man side character uh his own [ __ ] movie or film maybe it could have worked in a tv series where you get multiple episodes to really flesh the characters out the pacing is all it's disjointed the pacing's all over the place the editing sucks um i just hate it so it's a three out of ten people are like joe i could believe you like suicide scored the original suicide squad and it's like film sucks it's a three it's like nah man this is a [ __ ] three i'd rather wear a suicide squad because i just there's you can have more fun and brainless entertainment than here because that has brainless entertainment this has brainless is that's that's that's it i mean the cgi sucks if you're like these battles are [ __ ] great i'm like oh man is this the only battle you've seen just leave [Laughter] i can't wait for the comments that are like this wasn't that bad and and this is great and you guys why do you hate everything i don't sorry i'm real assaulted i like i like so much stuff anyways but i'm letting those people get to us our job are i need to reiterate our job our job are critics and not simply to go to the movies to be entertained and many people comment on the videos guys why are you being so hard it's because we're there as critics and not there to be entertained if i turned off my brain i can be entertained by this film but not even not even really not this one anyways that's going to be it for us i'm going to go into a spoiler section for you guys extra spoiler that even really works yeah because when when it films this bad we start spoiling it in the main one thank you guys so much for watching and we will see you in the spoiler section hey guys welcome to the spoiler section so uh please explain um you know the beginning of the film john the beginning of the film uh you see him getting out of the helicopter goes to the bat cave and say hey i'm gonna open up my uh harp here put my blood yeah what is that it's a bat trap that's tell me what the bat but that that that machine it's this big caught 500 bats yeah all those how does it work it doesn't okay i don't know the movie also doesn't really panned out yeah like suck my blood well he also has zero uh he's a love for like the people who flew him out there he's like trying to get them killed for whatever reason they're going to abandon him on this mountain give a [ __ ] so he's like this like he's a piece of [ __ ] philanthropist and he's a great guy and he's helping kids but he was killing the people that actually would do the hard work to get him to this secluded area but then he can't get off the mountain with his 500 bats because they left him there it's like nothing about the beginning of this movie makes any sense yeah so i had to point that out and uh you know i guess he was not gonna i mean batman just said just go away he was not his that was the doorbell at batman's house and he said yeah and then after that we come back to 25 years earlier when he is in this hospital yeah because he's got his sickness he meets his best friend hey [Music] it's like you've seen this all the time like oh and then we're friends and oh we both have the same condition one day i'm gonna i'm gonna change things and you'll be friends forever right yeah yeah you know that's gonna be the villain because he's gonna be like well you get cured and i don't get cured and that's basically what happens he figures out uh a cure for it but it's just so stupid the way he's being experimenting on rats the way they set him up is like oh he's a genius because his friend's dying so he fixes the machine with the pen he uses a little spring for the fuse he's like oh you're a genius i'm going to take go to the school you need to grow this school yeah and then next scene he's already pretty like done so much [ __ ] sure i'm like i don't want to watch this this is like breakneck speed like okay i don't want to see that um so then he goes into international waters after the the [ __ ] rat pops back up he's like okay we can do this uh but i guess uh they did say human trials for number 41 as like was experimenting on other humans that we didn't see they never had stable cells trials one and then he uses it and uh he immediately turns into uh morbius and uh the guy of course the uh burly guy comes downstairs i gotta go check up on the dog you're never gonna be a [ __ ] [ __ ] to the i'm a doctor they're people paying for everything he doesn't know he's like your help it's like shut up this is poor writing because it's like we have to hate this guy so that morbis can come and [ __ ] kill him like a horror movie or something and all the horror aspects in this this film were awful every time i try to switch gears from an action to oh there's spooky dark corridors you're like get to the point yeah international one sucks a whole bunch of guys off and just a whole bunch of guys on jump ship yeah it was all on camera he he watches the footage himself and he goes my god i killed those people and he felt bad about it i think he throws up and then deletes all the footage jumps off the ship but leaves her on there uh and she's picked up by the police obviously they're all going to pin it on here he's kind of an [ __ ] and you're like what did you do what happened here and um but he left the most important clue he does origami the tyrese news like oh this is a hobby of yours i was like how do you know because these two guys they never [ __ ] met he was like oh i know you like doing origami i found this like a bat i looked at that thing and said they don't look like a bat i don't know what the hell this is this is you shitty work well you're pretty good terry's so then you get the difference between the blue blood and the red blood he tries to do blue blood um and uh he's uh experimenting on himself he's like how long can i go without blood this is when matt smith shows up his character shows up who is uh milo crown and we see the camera pan specifically to two vials left and i'm like okay that's interesting so there's matt smith obviously gonna get one um and you know he has a scene he's like give me it he's like no he's like you're being selfish this is [ __ ] he's like get the [ __ ] out of here and they do this thing the problem is vampires can look good on the screen they don't need to be the hot boy glitter vampires right prime example dracula dead loving it exactly joe exactly and now that is [ __ ] nice game fire but i like practical effects and the problem is when you're adding a layer of cgi over people's faces up close like that it's uncanny valley it's not scary it's goofy and it looks like bad cgi now there are times where they do uh prosthetic effects and that's when they look good but that's rare and a few and far between maybe it was all [ __ ] cgi i don't know i don't know i honestly thought it was all but it almost always looked bad and um so then he's eventually in one of the stupidest scenes ever the cops are onto him go to the [ __ ] office and he the cops stop him before he's able to get out and they're questioning him and then he has you look pretty good he's like yeah pilates and you know i was like okay and then they fight he does his [ __ ] kung fu vampire kung fu and he runs and they're like stop freeze and he starts running and the cops just start shooting for no [ __ ] reason it's like number one when somebody is running away cops don't immediately start gutting them down in cold blood but okay i guess because he saw him jumping up the ramparts and he got scared it's a monster whatever but he didn't ever say that it's like this is standard procedure and maybe in america it is becoming standard procedure but whatever that's something different he gets to the roof and you know the car this is the stu one of the stupidest parts of the film he gets to the roof and for no apparent reason he's like thrown around it's the wind this is the first time he's experiencing the wind how much does he weigh yeah i thought it was a sonic weapon and we're going to get a cameo from some agency or force or something right literally getting blown away it was like a gust of wind and then he almost falls but then he's like ready to fight and then tyreese comes up and he goes enough and that's it he's so fast it's like 30 flights of stairs yeah he took the elevator alex and that's it he's arrested i know she could say it was scared oh he was so scared because he's going to kill him if he shoots from his pistol meanwhile he's he's [ __ ] dodging automatic gunfire from eight [ __ ] people on the boat and yet he lets time maybe he wanted to be arrested right because he doesn't guess he wants to be i guess he wants to be right yeah exactly and uh but by doing that he's a [ __ ] dumbass because he leaves all of the [ __ ] in his lab but we don't see any of this a lot of people exactly all the good stuff yeah because matt smith shows up and he's already a vampire so you have to assume that he grabbed one of the vials or both of the vials we have no idea what happened to the third vial did matt smith inject himself twice did the vial show up in the third vial and he used it as the antidote in order to to did he inject himself in the back yeah he's not giving himself a spinal tap like someone else has to give him a spinal tap he did have somebody else give him a spinal tap he paid a [ __ ] homeless guy i guess i don't [ __ ] know i wouldn't trust him anyways uh so yeah the the film a lot of stuff just happens off screen and this doesn't make any sense it's like all right we don't know what the [ __ ] you do you fill in the blanks so that's basically what this movie's telling you to do now the parts that i did like is look we're vampires let's [ __ ] do whatever the [ __ ] we want and they do it out in the open right and then that so you got that feeling of the villain is all like kills a bunch of cops and starts dancing and it's like okay that's the fun ridiculous stuff there's only two moments like that when he's all muscles you know matt smith and he's like dancing and listening to music and i'm like this is where you're getting into some of the glorification of the power and the uh getting drunk on the vampire stuff that's great there's no seductive none of that no seduce no seriously no seduction powers actually kind of because the doctor don't really have all that much interest in him i guess because he's jared leto and he puts on a lot of living you know this whole film his lips are like so [ __ ] like [ __ ] like bright he was wearing a bunch of uh purple lipstick and [ __ ] uh lip balm anyways um so the doctor that raised the two kids eventually is appalled by uh matt smith who is killing people and he tries to get him to stop and he just lashes out at his [ __ ] father figure and kills him and tells hey tell morbius that i'm going to kill whoever i want i'm a bunch more people and so morbius gets pissed off i know right he's like why why are you so reckless it's just pointless there's no stakes there's no tension when they fight nobody gives a [ __ ] um and then finally uh as as he's listening to mo um as he's um morbius shows up to the dying doctor and and uh he hears more [ __ ] going on he's got his girlfriend captured so now we have one scene where his where a close person of his dies and he warns and another close person of his is captured and he goes to the next person and she is killed he actually hears the [ __ ] guy taunting her asking her to call out morbius's name go make it there he's just listening to the whole thing and then he listens to her mentioning that we don't give a [ __ ] about punctured and killed like he could have got there a little quicker but whatever he gets there as her heart is uh giving out he's listening to the beats of her heart boom boom i kind of like that vision it's like oh this is a video game if i was playing a shitty morbius video game this is how you would you know geo-locate things and [ __ ] but it's it's a nothing it's a small consolation prize and she's dying in his arms and she kisses him like are we supposed to care she bites his lip and blood comes out and she drinks his blood i would have punched her it's just in case something clever right she didn't say [ __ ] no she's [ __ ] dying because previously she was he was looking at all these books like maybe i need to stab him with garlic and all this and she's like you don't actually believe in this [ __ ] and he's like no of course not you know but the film then alludes to it later on where she blends if you drink his blood and you also become a vampire but he's not a vampire so is he a vampire is he not a vampire i don't know anyways the blood later on turns out that she opens her eyes nobody gives a [ __ ] [ __ ] but she's a vampire now i don't maybe she got injected look i think what happened is off screen matt smith jackson filling your own blanks they have to because i think she actually bit her own lip and not his lip and then she's spitting her blood in his mouth to give him the rage because that's why he bites her and he gets super juiced up [ __ ] you're right because there's two that's right because i was just about to realize that because he actually does and uh uh bite her neck because otherwise he'd have no power and it's not because otherwise if she's dying and he bites her [ __ ] neck yeah she said make it count or something yeah she that's right that's right that's what she does say so um then they we have the final battle and and it was sad the final battle was so uh poorly put together trash i didn't really think you can get worse than the venomverse riot cgi fight this one we did we did we got worse we figured it out it was crazy and because they're falling through buildings the whole time and the camera's following them you see and understand nothing the only way you understand is when occasionally the camera will slow down and you can kind of understand from upside down in time but most of the times just [ __ ] in your face just flowing past your face yeah and then and that's the fight and then he wins and uh they fall into a city pit uh under the thing and it's a good location i'm like okay cool this is this is a cool location to fight in but uh morbius just screams a bunch of american bats show up that are friends with the costa rican bats who are friends with jared leto and uh matt smith's like well this this milo's like this is stupid i'm going to throw a [ __ ] i don't know he's going to come and stab you real slow so he jumps in the air so we can have another slow-mo [ __ ] scene but these bats that are moving faster than the speed of sound are as he's leaping through the air bats are are coming down hundreds of yards of of subway tunnels and then they blast him up and hold him to the ground and then he gets incapacitated by the bats yeah he's doing the you know bat bat laser beams just hitting them with bats and the bats i guess they don't really bite them they just beat them up if they had a beam fight where like matt smith learns to use the bats too and they start doing bad beams like it's just like this would have been it's like look this this movie can't get any worse bats did nothing but hold down matt smith yeah oh you see his suit like a little scratching he's just like all right like there's nothing he's just like ah these tiny little creatures are flapping their wings at me i can't move oh my god i stopped making fun of this this is not that bad yeah so while the bats hold matt smith down he runs and then stabs him with the antidote which maybe he made from the third vial somebody clarified for me alex do you have an explanation oh matt smith definitely stabbed her with the third vial okay that's what it was because he knew and then again i'm making this all [ __ ] i'm making this entire thing up i'm trying to figure out matt smith knows for sure that the only way to win over a sequel well the only way to win over morbius and the only way for him to not like kill everything is to take his love and pervert her to their side and maybe he'll see the way um but no that's that sounds clever that doesn't happen at all it doesn't happen no we're making all this um it would be nice if they kind of you know alluded to that but no she does open her eyes it has to be that way though because how did she open her eyes morbius's blood i think it was her blood we need to go watch the tape off screen no i don't [ __ ] know no seriously like it does not say it does not it doesn't say anything about it okay fine and you would think it says it in the two oh so anyways he fires he flies up in the city in full view with all the bats and stuff and so now there's and he just flies up i don't know neo style and then it smashes to morbius this is so stupid uh and the city already knows dr morvious is a vampire and killing people it's on the tv uh yeah and murdering and there's two vampires they call it the vampire murderer and i'm like well doesn't that mean that the murderer is killing vampires why wouldn't you just call it the vampire anyway okay whatever anyways and be careful there's a man who sucks you up he's dropping the streets where new york sounds terrible where where do you have to bring money yeah okay joe the first of the two stingers what what happens the first singer is like you see the purple sky that's the second that's the first one no that's the second stinger no that's the first one no what's the first stinger don't even remember the first thing or okay then continue with your first okay the first thing is like it's from the way home you see the sky it was purple and it starts fixing itself and you pan into the prison you see the vulture batman yeah michael keaton's in jail he's like what i'm not supposed to be here and that's the singer that's the first one right yeah yeah uh yeah yeah so yo you're right so yeah because it was so the rift it was so shitty anyways the riff it looks awful it's like the sony guys are like hey marvel could we bother the rift effects and then i'm like nah man do your own yeah they just put like a purple highlighter yeah yeah well you guys are jerks i shows up and um yeah it's it's reported on the news this man just showed up in the [ __ ] prisons he's going to be released because he's not supposed to be there okay so then what was the real second uh stinger uh jared leto is driving i don't know where the [ __ ] he's driving in the middle of nowhere and then he uh meets up with he sees something from disney parks see some from distance coming you don't know what it is you see like like dust being kicked up and then vulture comes up with this whole suit i don't know where he got his suit from where'd he get his suit he made it joe because he's went from where he's part guy from parts but there's no start stuff that's right yeah you're right but he learned stark stuff he learned it by him himself off screen what happened was he goes big screen he's so powerful in this universe i guess that means that in this universe there is a stark i don't [ __ ] know they don't they're not even they don't know what they're doing at sony exactly well anyways he comes in with his [ __ ] suit he's like oh hey i got a proposition for you it's like oh what's up i'm listening uh spiderman huh [Laughter] and meanwhile they completely edited it out the part where there's a spider-man poster and from the trailer that's not in there right now it's an experiment and there's michael keaton's scene with the police he's complete it's completely re-edited here but he does essentially say hey spider-man huh let's team up yeah i'm listening and no the [ __ ] is like interesting or something like fascinating is what he said i'm like you [ __ ] he wouldn't find that fascinating he's like please don't team no y'all don't do please don't do this it's a waste of my time it's a waste of your time i don't want to see your movie you don't want to be in it and it makes no sense because the character art from the vulture like is he really that obsessed with you know attacking spider-man now i thought he's over that [ __ ] i don't [ __ ] know who cares and wasn't there that's the more of today's story who cares who cares yeah so unfortunately a huge dud and if a bunch of uh superhero films come out like this no wonder martin scorsese and all these [ __ ] people were talking [ __ ] it's like this is the kind of stuff that they're talking about and this is the kind of stuff that is going to kill uh this sony's single-handedly doing this i'm glad sony's killing their own spider-verse because this [ __ ] sucks yeah hand it off to somebody it's embarrassing craven's coming out sometime soon right in the next year or so they're probably already like two it's too late for them to cancel that one but they've got like three other movies planned already so they're going forward regardless of whether they're gonna they're gonna just point to the audience uh reception and be like this is why we're doing it we'll see how much money it makes we'll see if they actually move forward with a team of bad guys a sinister's team maybe well they made 36 bucks off of us i just met i i'm so happy that venom like god didn't i don't know what's going to happen with venom is is marvel going to use venom is this going to be a tom hardy man you know it's sony so embarrassing that now marvel's like nah man we don't even want tom hardy even though he's a good version of venom and they could make them better but they're like nah [ __ ] out i'd rather take toe for grace than get the rest of that [ __ ] that comes with tom hardy that's probably why we had that symbiote come over in the marvel universe detached from tom hardy detached from sony and honestly after seeing this it's the right move marvel is [ __ ] smart they're like yeah no man you do your own thing make your own riff you're hiring who to write a movie sure you can reference our rift that's cute here play with the mega blacks yeah yeah please don't swallow legos exactly but they [ __ ] tricks on him like let me get your bet you let me get your action figure let me get your spider-man action figure here play with them they made them have like half a billion dollars they are making money they're making money together so anyways uh sony is never letting go of the spider-man license and they're gonna milk the [ __ ] out of every goddamn side character you've ever heard of what is the most obscure side character in spider-man lore put it in the comments let us know because sony is going to make a trilogy on that character son of rhino there's gotta be something like even more ridiculous all right guys that's gonna be it for us we'll see you on the next angry joe show bye guys you

Channel: AngryJoeShow

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Id: yXnsP83p73s

Length: 43min 43sec (2623 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 01 2022