moistcr1tikal Twitch Stream Nov 7th, 2019 [Death Stranding]

then hi pre-notification gang Oh Ben all right moisturizer I hope you're doing well interested to see how this game goes [Music] so I was reading something hi there yeah I'm hoping the narrative of the game makes up for the lack of actual game here thanks to the prom captain we'll see though I will for sure beat it I'm going to commit to that I would very much like to give it a fair moist meter and I've got to beat it for that so even if it is the most boring goddamn game of all time like most people are saying I still will fight through all [ __ ] 40 hours of gameplay really IGN gave it a 6.8 I'm super surprising most people are saying it's super [ __ ] boring real boring game nine out of ten ten out of ten not even a meme that is literally half the reviews on Metacritic is how boring the game is and it still gets a ten thanks to the resubmit dicks what do you mean why is there an echo is there some type of new meme I don't I don't get it it's here it's here it's here well now there's an echo because I just played it is that the mean you know yeah I just don't hear it thanks to the resub average in the fat tier 1 Guney toons Norman fetus is that his name now that's cute he's come so far from walking dead thanks to the resub nee ole and corns Brad Reaper and you what well it comes out at midnight so yeah I have to wait till midnight these are the prime Vin rail resale hmm yeah Norman Reedus isn't walking dead yeah I mean even the game has an incredible story if the gameplay is as boring and as bad as they say that doesn't excuse it it's a game if you're gonna make a game it needs to have like gameplay that's fun or at least rewarding but I'm not gonna write it off yet because I haven't beaten it so we'll see thanks for the resub yates interest I do not have a love doll how long is your pee pee 6.5 inches thanks horse and definitely not doing that Doge may be another pepper thing but definitely not eating a reaper or a ghost pepper Kyah is actually playing it right now he says he's been playing for around two hours and has played a total of less than ten minutes of gameplay so I guess that's going to be the rate we'll be hitting in gameplay too cutscene [Music] that sounds like an interesting one Rick the fart whisperer nicely the resub baby seal and the prime shaman almost midnight for you but 3:00 p.m. here in Australia you'd love it here with all the deadly animals like that that's way too far away and it's super isolated it's not happening those that's brutal I should really eat a cake with a fork what are you talking about I haven't had taken a long time why is the game gonna crash loving the hair bro thanks Baker [ __ ] yeah man it's almost long enough to put it back we're so goddamn close can I whip out my little floppy peepee on stream I cannot do that I'm sorry to say if I could I still wouldn't know last thing I'd want is my flaccid dick being on stream now if it was erect I'd be a lot more comfortable but flaccid it's just embarrassing get ready to piss for Norman that's gonna be the first mechanic I master the urinating mechanic my girlfriend has a flax addict fetish she can only get turned on when I am soft Wow luckily I am eight inch soft and two inch hard oh I see you're making a joke I thought it was serious for a second I was like damn sucks thanks to the reset relax no people are always gonna do so Kojima's reached tarantino levels in the gaming community where no matter what he does everyone's going to love it no one's gonna be vocally against it like Tarantino works so even if the games not very good there's going to be a lot of people that will always love it that's sweet apple cider I have no idea Neal I have to really think about that [Music] it's the resub I'm just 4d I've ever done cupping that pseudoscience [ __ ] where they like put when they do that like bring out skin then put a cup over it to like suck and bruise it I can't say I've done that it's garbage make sure the tier one apple cider is good of course I'll stream the new cyberpunk game a lot of people do cupping it's garbage the absolute [ __ ] garbage [Music] no it just releases at midnight so I can't play it yet hey Charlotte sighs thanks me for my design class I have to give the report on the greatest designer of all time the [ __ ] who made the juicer oh really you should really transfer universities if they're hyping that man up is a good designer that was the most universally [ __ ] on product I've ever seen that University is setting you up for failure man kaya's instream Doge thanks to the resub Chris I did go to college I graduated post me and Dale haven't heard that name in a long time can you say wassup to Obama for me you next time he's in the channel make sure to put in a good word for you Zack thanks to the receptor booyah bone in your boneless at this point I usually don't even care I get an order of both I get the best of both worlds most times now hey man big question that I wanted to ask when is bullet which - going to drop when you streamed the first one I wish need it now what are you talking about it's not like I made bullet which I can't just play the sequel that doesn't exist but yeah I'd love a bullet which to thanks to the fat 5 gift subs I'll do mod appreciate it man thanks for the tier 1 Kelso's [Music] have I seen the news Zombieland yeah I'm øystein at it was I right it wasn't bad thanks to the Prime dab soles and lag mont can i do 25 push-ups in a row yeah I usually do sets of 25 push-ups can you do 25 push-ups in a row do I like metal gear I'm not a massive metal gear fan I appreciate them but I'm not like a huge fanatic [Music] [Music] I heard about the filthy Frank vomit cake deletion that is quite a bold move a hundred push-ups in five minutes I probably couldn't do that [Music] we're coming in hot baby hold on just a second thanks to the receptor z Jake hold on enjoy Norman Reedus for one second [Music] the only worry [ __ ] I'm backing it now oh thanks the prime Boston Bernier sands I don't understand but I read I watch a lot apple cider the ones that I think are absolutely crushing it right now that are coated Coen Noel thanks to the Risa clock a tear I hope the days get better man place of the resub d bowl those cute man oh I type in a birthday I'll use my real birthday let's celebrate baby yes actually the tier 1 juste Oh juice drop pop this was the e3 trailer once oh never mind that's a studio trailer I knew it was something like that thanks to the reset of explosive Yoda that's sweet thanks double dick and thanks to your friend once there was an explosion a bang which gave birth to time and space once there was an explosion a bang which set a planet spinning in that space it was cute wallah boy once there was an explosion a bang which gave rise to life as we know it once there was an explosion and then I gave rise to the video games [Music] I don't know apple cider they didn't say could have been anything makes the resub soap sounds like a mail share or not share a Mogan heap thanks to the prime runny I'm not turning off my lights that should just hurts my [ __ ] eyes I don't get the point it's not even a horror game or anything all its gonna do is just hurt my eyes for no reason so business Thank You Baker appreciating boots what a gorgeous looking game nice the reset bootleg then worth dog now I can't wait to make my first delivery I hope the customer gives me five stars on Yelp nice the reception you see we said Josh Wow come on baby no well I don't know why you'd even go for that jump anyway the [ __ ] was the point must be how they made like impressing the girls dan do we just hit our customer that's gonna be that's gonna be some - points on the report card for this delivery that's some ups [ __ ] right there running over the person you're trying to deliver [ __ ] - great legs big run right there's a little Tron light-cycle so I have to hold it down for that what a great looking game i hear kojima is just gonna start making movies which is great without other package go thanks to the tier 1 Crips I dropped two packages right now I guess I don't really need the other one check out this jump this one's for the deer that didn't quite make it baby come on well a bit of a rough rough break on that one [ __ ] grease it down over here this one's for the deer that's big that's everything right now the game begins sell [ __ ] eat the baby I don't think we have a baby with us right now did the game end up being the walking sim everyone was afraid it'd be considering with 30 seconds into the game I can't quite tell you if it ended up that way but probably yes from everything I read thanks to the prime McInnes Oh I think the problem definitely force there's handprints on his back probably because of the ghost things he's allergic to rain breaking out into hives cool spiked jacket gamer that's definitely some hot topic [ __ ] [Applause] hey thanks lady please the there's gonna be one more so do these to invent the first fetus thanks for the five gift subs Gabe I appreciate it man I think you're gone what the hell thanks to the prime Keyblade didn't mean to grab you so hard tears a chiral allergy so you have dooms like me I've got the extinction factor but I think you got make me what's your level you can see them right what's your middle Orion Council to win you have to draw turkeys on all the handprints what are you doing here trying to stay true the only way to beat him seems you timeful said only makes is the resep guns my name is fragile yeah I've heard that right some porter preaches the man who delivers yeah postman there's another word for it paperboy I go by many names all of them should make you what I couldn't oh by it a day keeps the time fall away young would have come work for me yes yeah I thought fragile Express had plenty of people plenty of traders basically resub Hewitt not much left of us now save for a few and his folks hmm and a top of that much left of me either guts up from knee to toe and I can't help you with that I make deliveries that's all headed into town Kojima has reinvented the umbrella watch yourself the madman put a hole in the top of it it's full the acid rain can hit you right in the [ __ ] cranium great dialog so far what's your chaos ascendant level 55 is that because of the oblique allergy no it's because I'm a beta a carrier well we don't know what those words mean yet maybe it is good dialogue their time for fast-forwards whatever it touches but it can't wash it everything away the pastor's won't Michael I'll see you around Sam Porter bridges so she has teleporting technology that be super useful for a postman I feel like there's no better profession in this universe gu4 teleports technologies and what just go through and for minimum wage - I don't give a [ __ ] about the network features I'm delivering smart drugs I I wonder what classifies as a smart drug crocodile mouth thinking man's drogon Oh God I am supposed to go that way right yeah I'm gonna have to go all the way down there first how strong you Norman can you survive this fall let's find out I'll be gentle perfect just like the coach drew it up [Music] no I thought jumping might be a little faster it was not free smart drugs though Oh take that SIL Aloha cartel [Music] Jesus [Music] this is a good song let's track there's more than just music for walking I'm sure I can piss right now pee pee no drink monster energy that product placement is a little on the nose don't you think Kojima well misspoke Epoque so post apocalypse would go real great with some Pepsi right now or perhaps a nice cool Monster Energy [Music] fer my bringing [Music] thanks to the resep radiant [Music] [Music] I think there's just one line to this song don't be so serious the singer must have really liked that line from The Dark Knight movie oh good recovery Norman fantastic not me I would never man I tell you after crossing that little River I could really go for a monster energy hits the spot deaths stranding more like death to any energy drink that's not monster energy am i right Kojima [Music] oh it automatically refills itself with months their energy is that what the rains made out of [Music] [Music] no hang in there Norman oh come on baby [ __ ] I'm tipping there we go how do you like the [ __ ] robot with my arms here or climb in it or climb in it baby don't be so serious [ __ ] no that's a speedrun strat cut I'm just stumbling into the office drunk I use your packages maybe let's do it yeah I think this is it right predicted likes I'm gonna go viral with this delivery that with my monster energy drink sponsorship thank you the prime TL yeah I'm guessing they all go hear it I have to do it individually what and I have four out of four right what am I missing where's my fourth one I understand confirmed down here but where's my fourth one it says four out of four but only three see I only see three whatever makes the Prime had to wait out the storm how can I be seeing women just makes me want to pee from all the Monster Energy Drink cool handcuffs how many likes did I get I didn't damage any of that cargo [ __ ] spelunking on my way here not bad okay I think I get Oh my first delivery in s looks like I might have to pursue a professional career as a postman everyone's dream job oh my god I'm [ __ ] crushing it god there's so much going on in this UI right now hopefully plug in and eat the cake oh sit on the cake and eat ope it's hard to say Dawson depends on the cake I guess did I did I do good Norman do well where's Rick hey I wanted to accept that oh this swallowed too aggressively what is that a Megas XLR Igor bridges corpse disposal Sam Porter I presume yes right who's that a baby on your chest you feel it tight document said you had some kind of foe you're gonna eat it or just corpse disposal what happened look you gotta get a move on I'll explain as we go come on I'm gonna take a look what do we got we smuggle in coke my specialty he's gonna date with the incinerator No how long since he flatlined you don't know the exact Tod but I'd say it's been upwards of 40 hours he wasn't quarantine not sick this is just suicide Jesus we're just lucky we found him at all got him on ice they said but who knows when he'll go neck roll where you taking on rigors to the north it's crawling with me so we're delivering more than just packages we're delivering corpses to so we're more like FedEx tune-ups bastard right here put all that Kyrie lemon you're so close to town can't do it better that trying for the incinerator hey we can do this we just need someone like you with dunes well he's already in the first stages of necrosis if we don't hurry this place is a crater so how about it can we count on you no yes then bridges hereby enters into a contract with sample he's a long time a watching sub II Sam just Sam and I can't spot B t's just sensing that's why we came prepared I'm Bridge baby huh with it's helping you will be able to stay one step ahead of them there he is I feel like [ __ ] every classic Kojima oh you are plugging into the other side oh man it's doing [ __ ] stunts in there [Music] roll out what does the baby do and something for BTS thanks to the prime Sparrow was different when I was a kid America is a country anybody could go anywhere they damn well please no need for couriers like yourself we had highways airplanes a cute little city hard you imagine it now as you can see the death stranding pup just full of holes [ __ ] dust beyond all recognition and if you were lucky enough to survive the tie fall came and washed you away and thus preach from the beach showed up worlds of the living and the dead all mixed together and that's when folks started pulling up in the city's quarters like yourself done put up on a pedestal this must be every postman wet dream everyone's celebrating getting the mail rainbow and the hero that brought it to the incinerator this guy's about the puck worth the cuts of the be teased Oh God it's leaking oil looks clear back here boys sweat with and want us get us out of here no not that the camera moves really [ __ ] slow goddamn it's probably just my sensitivity though well it's not nice to say about the baby it's right there I can hear you has the baby been vaccinated maybe that was the problem that's Jon Bernthal so Oh God I've not seen that Astra I forgot about it so I just didn't see it the graveyard of crabs there's still time to save this man if we give him mouth-to-mouth now not that guy he's far don't waste your precious lips thanks is the resep chicken waffles no he's getting old [ __ ] he's reaching his expiration date the Boomer rain yeah that's pretty terrifying the rain just turns people into goobers shit's hardcore there's still time The Punisher [Music] takes a bribe Jack no well what's happening to them I'd like to see Oh God rest in peace Bloomberg oh good shot where did this ninja come from just floating down from the heavens I couldn't tell you what it does thanks to the prime cab [Music] [Applause] one of them was wearing sunglasses don't kill the one wearing sunglasses he's too goddamn cool those are really nice backflip though [Music] well it's the most aggressive seppuku I've ever seen [Music] so why doesn't it take Norman since everything around is floating why is Sam immune is because of the dooms [Music] he was immune to this because he drinks monster energy what it is dr. Manhattan over there just eatin and [ __ ] thanks to the resub Flay Pia Oh God he's been raped thanks to the reset Danville extraordinaire what the [ __ ] you know you hugged it too hard you turned it to grease hey get away from there Oh No it's the Green Lantern corpse they're gonna judge if she's worthy enough to wear the ring salad [Music] it's not what it looks like ma'am I'm not a boomers could I interest you in a monster energy drink milady what are the crabs mean don't go out there man thanks to the receptor Norman Reedus is a doer I guess so men I bet this isn't water this is a meiotic fluid he's about to be born again but this time he'll be born full I think I'm just gonna start taking some like off-the-wall guesses at what's going on and see if any of these are right because anything's possible here these are the fallopian tubes or as they're called now uterine tubes they drop that moniker they no longer call them fallopian tubes [Music] well I was actually closed does anyone to understand this I do oh my god I [ __ ] called it I'm a goddamn genius I'm inside Kojima's head right now thanks 37 Quintus I'm not a baby I'm Norman Reedus trapped in a baby's body I was in the walking dead you know oh you wasted valuable protein flying slugs we're free boys go go back to heaven what an experience once there was an explosion a bang which gave rise to life as we know it and then came the next explosion and explosion that will be our last I don't say that if anyone can stop an explosion its post-apocalyptic Amazon delivery guy we're more than qualified for that thanks for the resep level 6 mad lad yes yes you make me laugh when I watch your videos yes yes very funny man you are yes yes very sweet for any Norman Reedus has spent like every cutscene so far passed out and crying Oh oh my god he is always crying he's like brendan fraser from bedazzled when he made the wish to be more sensitive well accordin aliy call me dead man I'm well acquainted with the dead not like you of course contrary to the name I've never I figure mo you can call me crying [ __ ] man I'm very well acquainted with tears sure I'm always crying like a girl who found out one direction split up so I'm a prisoner these aren't handcuffs they're cutting edge devices that keep us all connected loss makes the reset in D oh oh sweet thanks man yep religious humanities best hope for the future or avoiding the extinction if you prefer right or elma what time is it watch me try pressing it against your skin like this relax that just means your body's got a good connection the conflict no no I don't know my body's Wi-Fi signal seems a little weak cops well watch over you 24 hours a day that is to say we will we're here to help what the hell two days during that time we took the liberty of collecting fluid samples we jerked me off you're a wee Patriot that makes you very special what happened to the CD earth central not was obliterated in the annihilation game over man place is a crater the only ones to get a continue for you for obvious reasons and your broken bridge baby where is my baby now it's been marked for disposal they didn't work anymore why keep it good point Merida go find a new one we lost everyone not just corpse disposal my team HQ all of read the fort every soul in central not City hmm we're at our base in capital not City now or should I say our new headquarters Sudbury seems the logical choice here mo don't mean to interrupt you can teach me out of this now needed III promise me peeing mechanics they can do in two days things here are a mess fortunately the director and his support team were out of town at the time so the gene of come get over it it's monster energy which is basically more important in the game itself I hate to do this so soon you get a drink on that monster here not for you this stencil is from when you repatriated ya repatriate the acid rain bridge babies BTS who gives a [ __ ] tell me about the low-calorie options from Monster Energy HQ I see Evan Fossum phobia no wonder you were out there alone or no one could touch you I'll try to be more careful Sam so the job is an urgent delivery I need you to bring the president some morphine oh nice what president man is gone America's in our hearts Norman America is where we make it here America lives on Sam he president is in the final stages of cancer in critical condition but there's still time why me look Sam do as I ask and I promise it will all make sense I highly doubt it will make sense in this game to be honest Guillermo but I'm here for the ride because I'm not really here well that's quickly apologies this is just a chiral Graham and here come the tears what a twist transmission I'm actually over in the isolation ward in the big triangle building or am I here is the morphine there's the research range my enters into a contract with Sam Porter come on you got morphine there what's this about tell me the truth the truth Sam is that America's last president wants to see you in person are you really about to say no yeah [ __ ] it only if I get a lifetime supply of monster energy otherwise No Deal very good I'll see you in the isolation ward the president just wants to vibe in his final moments the president's gonna be fine he just needs some monster I thought for one second I was about to have game play and now I feel silly oh my god I wasn't wrong is it possible I'm looking for all packages along the way just in case thanks Guillermo founded where'd my marker go go have to scan for my marker to come up the [ __ ] is the point of the marker if it doesn't show me where it is the wrong way that's no yeah definitely not going the wrong way my [ __ ] idiot place do I have to draw the route I guess all right okay can't climb over that duly noted okay it's a force field that's where my that's where my root starts I drew it in the middle of [ __ ] nowhere great central wasn't just home to bridges HQ it was also the seat of the Reconstructionist movement the president hadn't required special treatment good cardio dudes barely even huffing and puffing I'm here Guillermo when's the next Hellboy thanks to the tier 1 mic unstoppable JLo is the president well with all the celebrity cameos in this game I wouldn't be surprised if the president is Miley Cyrus none that I can see we should start it's me that man don't try some Sam it's another hologram he's fooling you yet again for his YouTube channel sorry my mistake I'm afraid the president's condition has deteriorated thank you this will help to ease the pain thanks Theresa Meade good to see man allow her to speak with you in his final moments the first and last female presidents of the United States surely you remember her she raised you you're not exactly dressed for a reunion take that off before you come inside all right why is my connection level only a two stars another esto I'm killing it right now in these deliveries absolutely killing it I don't exactly get what it all means here with my miscellaneous and all that [ __ ] but whatever what is she throwing like a masquerade or something that's the president's right-hand man the director of bridges that's a bad guy so [ __ ] awesome name raw raw beef steak it's good to see you die hard man I too love Bruce Willis what's it been Sam ten years look at us a bunch of deathless freaks meeting like this yeah well good to see you too I just hope poop smell man doesn't come in I couldn't handle that reunion right now let's just keep it between us die Hardman it's your mother Bridget no she's a bit out of it but I know she'll recognize you thanks to the Tier one holy pollen Madam President we've brought Sam in before the president is karol don't spoil it we'll leave you two alone be careful out there die hard man [Music] are you doing alright [Music] is that Hillary Clinton Emily normally you remember on early went West figure three years to cross she's trying to rebuild the country still going on about that huh you're the one I wanted to send I guess yeah it could be Ellen DeGeneres with like the snapchat boomer filter help she needs you together you can help us reconnect you can make America whole Sam if we don't all come together again humanity will not survive and we don't need a country naughty humanity may not survive but Monster Energy certainly will wouldn't Kojima Why What what do you mean kid ver I didn't [ __ ] pirate the game what this is my primary all right hold on I don't want to take the chance of like throwing out my internet information let me try this off stream this is my primary ps4 though I'm doing just that I've already gone to the settings oh did it happen because my internet there my ps4s connection to the internet took a [ __ ] well why did that happen is it cuz Tiana is watching Netflix on my account right now Internet's working fine thanks to the recent best yes yeah everything's working fine oh now the games working for some reason yeah president Jesus Sam so you are willing to help me no I I'm gonna make out I love you Sam thanks to the resub d mac congrats on the apartment move man madam president i can't wait to see other people's names in here [ __ ] dead man die hard man I'm excited for new characters now [Music] hit her with the paddles anyway you've already got them cooked what was that a simulation here's what would happen if the president died gameplays not really there but story is really [ __ ] interesting interesting is a good word for it listen no one can know that the president is dead if word gets out bridges is finished do it Norman Reedus already tweeted it has not lead this room do you understand yes director but there's still the matter of the body without corpse disposal we've got that covered ah it's good to see you dead man and die hard man what's the occasion that's as I say live free or die hard man Sam before she died the president made a contract with you when are you talking about as a member of bridges you're gonna work with the rest of us to rebuild America you think he can recruit I would be surprised that Jonah Hill was in this Bend she succeeded look at your wrist that's not symbolic I don't know what is director the cancer spread throughout her entire body harvesting organs is out of the question and there is no need for an autopsy her body needs to be cremated before she necrotize this and if we don't this place will turn into another crater what do you want me to do we don't have any Porter's right now and the CD team you went into the field with you are dead you don't know that yet his body has to be burned the road from Capitol not City to the incinerator was compromised in the void out the only way there is on foot through the mountain of course it is but the Cairo density there is off the chart it's got to be BTS this job has requirements Torme's repatriate muscle me why he just said why Sam you're already on the clock now get it done Sam border bridges bold prediction die hard man is not to be trusted it's just a vibe I'm getting from him can I have a moment basically recent shouts believed in American reconstruction ISM she worked tirelessly to bring the nation together again and without her there would be no bridges she deserves a funeral with full honors but we can't give her that she dies America dies she is dead without her bridges will cease to be okay well plan for that cuz you're standing over her corpse sir cremation must be carried out with the utmost secrecy even if we pull it off what then was gonna take her place face it America's history Sam America isn't dead yet he just said that it dies a bridge it dies she may be lost to us but we still have an America worthy of the presidency was high wire let's not get into it now it's die hard man gonna take over finish your mother's work and rebuild America there's no one I trust more than a guy that looks like that he's and bridges exists [ __ ] skull mass first he looks like a GI Joe villain and deliver the president's body to the enemy die hard man I was running out I love you Sam I'll be waiting for you on the beach surely there's a more comfortable way of carrying a corpse besides in a backpack like that you'll be passing through Beattie territory we built the incinerator way up in the mountains so that the chiral matter in the smoke wouldn't reach the city it won't be easy carrying a body up there better thanks boys we'll be monitoring you around the clock if anything comes up we'll offer you support by the couples there is a noticeable lack of tension in this game dude's mom died on top of him he didn't care he's been crying this whole game but when his mom died doesn't shed a tear now he's carrying her corpse on his back like he's bringing a mannequin to a Macy's display and still nothing I'll get there very sweet Thank You Freddy I understand the crying is allergies that doesn't make it any less lame they'll hang on I lost my balance there mom [ __ ] hard tumble whoo that's a long journey ahead of us boys that's an exposition that's an expedition let's get it baby yeah oh I'm on about it I'm just looking at least make it more like Spongebob and give me like a rock to ride around I don't need to plan the routes just straight ahead she strapped down Ben Bridget's undying spirit [ __ ] all right you know I can't climb this so how the [ __ ] do I get out is there an exit out back I guess this one can I take one of these vehicles that'd be so convenient I already know the answer is No yeah what's the point in teasing me with the vehicles then hang on Oh God when can I start peeing oh come on yeah Oh what the [ __ ] how do I get over there as you go all the way around I guess that's what it is when the [ __ ] can I pee we're in it now baby Christ hang on mom oh no this can't be right I have to go all the way around that mountain that does not sound right [Music] huh that's big that's ass big thank you the tier 1 window [Music] is that my mom's arm that fell out of the thing and she's now waving at me uh uh it's a little cloth [Music] thanks to the resub JD [Music] their lease packages at well I probably can't pick up packages while I have her huh [Music] I know you can pee I just don't know how to unlock it I think it's like a skill I need to spec into [ __ ] thanks to the Prime Lucy [Music] what do you mean Jesus they tell you how to keep your balance in the controls its hold the triggers it slows you down douchebag obviously I know how to keep my balance I'm trying to get there fast so I'm not just stuck wandering this [ __ ] wasteland for 10 hours backseat gaming a pseudo game do you have no shame look at that there's the social interaction this guy gives me a thumbs up on the river right egora I'll give that a like thanks for the help yes you Gor thank you I'll use it now I think thanks Igor cool thanks to the Prime Big Mac hey Igor well this must be a ladder from Igor yo-ho it is what a guy what a guy that's big messed up sorry are you going I'm leaving that'll like multiple bikes thanks Igor thanks to the prime North Lane I highly doubt they're gonna let me pick up packages with fur on me excellent work yet again Igor the guardian angel Oh God take your hand off the controller for one second I'm just trying to [ __ ] fall off well I prepared for this I knew it was coming this is the whole game for 60 hours but instead of corpses there's usually packages so I've mentally prepped myself for this I see it that crate that one yeah that's for [ __ ] I was looking at the cool one I made it I ordinarily I'd be the first to test jumping off a cliff in any video game but in this one I already know it would send me all the way back to the start I'm certain of it and I'm not running this far again at this [ __ ] molasses pace thanks for the reset velvet sprint we're almost there okay well this is not the entrance we're taking an alternate path thanks for the resep living [ __ ] we're bustin down the chimney like post-apocalyptic postman Santa Claus hang on superhero landing do I have more monster energy oh [ __ ] yeah I do I'll save it for later the monster energy drinks are more valuable than gold let's give her a patriotic cremation but I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more just to be the one to drop your dead mom off at your front door da da da powerful thanks blue eyes [Music] is that true you're slacking on you gotta live you call yourself an Amazon work I think it's about to do its job now Brij baby do something Sam Sam do you copy damn it must have lost you in the blackout Sam what's your status Carly intensity is still increasing my status is [ __ ] there's tons of all Osby from the bodies we couldn't get up to the incinerator in time comes with the territory I'm afraid can use it out the rain No they're closing in on my position I have to move before they realize I'm in here one of those things you know you'll come back we'll be a greater it's a risk I'm gonna have to take I got an idea just [ __ ] three-point shoots the baby into the incinerator [Music] what's up Mads start [ __ ] maybe you are defective no he has a personality he's entering his teenage years and he's rebellious you've done it again Kojima thanks to the receptor ah sure [ __ ] that I have a baby in tow I'm fine suck my dick [ __ ] anything's possible man I'm making great time the babies kind of whining a lot but other than that I'm making fantastic time surely they want calling me off a cliff Oh God holding my breath slow me down [ __ ] get the [ __ ] up left for dead boomer coming out of nowhere how deep is there how far is this crop top out at all just hang in there I'm the one taking all the damage I don't know why he's getting stressing me all right all right this last step is a doozy so buckle yourself up baby I hope you're made out of iron all right don't worry about it baby I have monster energy we're fine yeah perfect a nice cool Monster Energy the journey can now continue [ __ ] good news is we've escaped them though now the only enemy we have are my own flimsy little legs going down this cliff but I think we're good now their CEO ZZ and now I get to run all the way back which was my favorite part thanks the resub nocturnal yep wait yeah I'm coming home boys no chats making a fortnight meme you cannot build in this game there is two mechanics run it I lied there's one mechanic no I guess you could divide it to run and walk [Music] [Music] there is building in what capacity I watched like a two-hour long play from the middle of the game the other day I did not see a single goddamn thing being billed what can you build [Music] Rhodes for Jesus how late in the game is that [Music] in game so the last like five hours of the 60 hour experience [Music] [Music] [Music] shake the baby well I fell down a cliff and the baby was fine so I feel if it can survive that it can probably survive a little shake waiting action come back to the distribution center check the location on your compass my baby meter is yellow yeah the baby's not overly pleased with falling down a cliff but it's gonna tolerate it you're entertaining the risk of taking you to a place from which you will not return this baby's gonna get more than it bargained for with me I don't play stealthily get cleaned up come to the president's office we need to talk things are the prime Larry is it speaking to me don't look at me like that what the [ __ ] with creepy that's cute Mads Jack us out Norman Mads Mikkelsen sucks at singing sing Norman hmm up to 165 likes I'm [ __ ] popping off sanim I thought I told you dews and bb's were a dangerous combination ah perhaps a shower is in order you're still covered in Chi radium don't want the president to see you like that how are you talking about she's dead the herd moves the president is this about BB 20-game go [ __ ] yourself I'm not your errand boy well in any event it seems it owes you its life no just give him the finger nice detail as you say I shall look after give my regards to the president bye-bye can't wait time here all the shitty theory videos people make about this game and this potential Lord plots on story I can tell that most do all of them will ruin the game oh yeah so your video app Thomas there is a soccer mom in my hometown that turns a hot pink Hummer it's the actual worsen thing ever I how many times has she been divorced and how many kids does she have [Music] yes they refilled my monster energy drink baby we're in business again now the adventure can continue this is nomad I know about the zooming in on his dick Easter egg I already saw that that's how I clean myself up to my [ __ ] was that imagine training your whole life to be an actor and then this is the kind of [ __ ] you have to do in your new role I'd be so [ __ ] proud so it's like I'm hyping myself up to ask my crush out to prom what is the this isn't me cleaning up picture Oh my timing is perfect the death stranding community is gonna go nuts for that one on Twitter can't wait to see the likes Norman Reedus and I get on that die hard man it's gonna leave that like a favorite and some Pokemon snap [ __ ] now it's time for a shower dami gets naked fast for [ __ ] sake isn't anything private anymore oh no pee mechanics [ __ ] finally oh damn the game is an fu Taccone army for killing mgs and his side-project he was working on it's out there you plebs just do some research Jesus disgust someone doesn't want to go research the deep intricate lore behind the game and just takes a game at face value doesn't mean that their criticism of it's invalid the game needs to stand on its own two legs without bringing out a [ __ ] encyclopedia of what went on in Kojima's diary to make the game has a chance to live on Sam listen to me if you need to go outside of the property to make it good and it's not good on its own instruction ISM her dream isn't dead I don't want to hear this is the face of our new hope our new America hey I'm guessing that's Emily so yeah like a Millennium Puzzle around her neck [Music] my mother may be gone but I'm here and you Sam you're here too yes yes yeah thank you it's a dumb [ __ ] statement yes I am in ten years since you saw each other right and in all that time she hasn't aged a day he knows why my body's still on the beach I don't get to grow older of course but you do Sam you look good so you're serious then about reconnecting everyone everything someone has to succeed Bridget Sam more importantly someone has to carry on her legacy and see our country rebuilt samantha america strand our new president a new beginning for our didn't we just for our nation it wasn't the plan to keep it a secret that she's dead will re-establish the UCA the united cities of america there's a shoe entirely build our country but we'll need your help to do it Sam no I'm through with this I said my goodbyes to all of you when I said them to Bridget we never forgot about you Sam you ran away you cut us off Emily put together an expedition the best of bridges one tell that where the employees laid off by blizzard moist a bunch of creators are being laid off for profit margins what am i telling to Blizzard employees what I've never defended blizzard I think wizard not only as a [ __ ] company but their games are not good but yes to all the blizzard employees that were wrongfully laid off you got [ __ ] by blizzard I agree we convinced community after community to join the UCA and we left behind our own people to help them it took us three years but we managed to make it all the way to edge in all the city all the way to the Pacific Jesus yeah but then everything went to hell the team was wiped out and Emily was taken look at that a whole little video game reenactment here in the office for what happened I'm not being kept in a cellar or anything like that I'm allowed to use their facilities and to speak with you whenever I want I just can't leave the city what it's all to safeguard the continued independence of edge not City that's what her keepers are saying at least they want the UCA to leave me be Emily's their insurance policy in case we don't who are these [ __ ] again homo demons militant separatist group they run edge not City oh I was the flying ninja from earlier bunch of terrorists who go around towns killing people leaving craters right nothing's off-limits for them not even engineering void outs you think the suicide that took out central not was one of theirs could be they're extremists like the demons everywhere plotting in the shadows they're decentralized by nature no one organization to rule them all just a common ideology I know not everyone shares our vision for the future I wish they'd just patch out gameplay in this I'd love to just watch this as a movie humanity you'll be much better unless the gameplay does drastically improve after 30 hours but I watched like a lot from the first 20 and I assumed it'd stay like that for the next 20 or 30 more than a few would rather stay isolated keep to themselves go it alone like you Sam they think that America can only be rebuilt by force by men who tell them what to do who take away their freedom and put them in shackles would you put on me huh you know better than the demons just another kind of cult they're not shackles Sam they're a symbol of our bonds said every cult ever right now not to stand apart no this is fruit punch here about the drink is just a symbol for how close we are together Sam we want you to go west and finish what Emily started the people she left behind have been hard at work setting up Cairo Network terminals but these terminals are still isolated we need you to bring them online and for that you'll need a cupid this contains all the necessary security and operations protocols to integrate a terminal into the Cairo web take the cupid west to sam and reconnect the people of our great nation and when you get to edge not City by Emily and bring her home after that I'll take over the presidency and carry on mother's work to save the country this was Bridget's dying wish so if Emily's body is on some decrepid beach somewhere then what body have they kidnapped and why does it matter if they have that one not a strand hell I'm so sure this outfit two bodies well sort of that I'm not getting involved with you or anyone else ever again wait see it's like I'm not even here same as it ever was God Norman is so whiny Sam this is a projection but she said she's been kidnapped by the UCA listen to me but then before that she said she hasn't aged in 10 years because her real body is on a beam jury and award suffering don't accessart if they take the body from the beach to the UCA round and round it goes cuz if they did then why isn't she a drink that's simple alright alright Sam just take it easy I get it you don't have to commit to anything now why not get some rest good idea we all need our sleep leave it too long and you're liable to reconnect with the other side the necessary maintenance has been completed various adjustments and fine-tuning for your benefit you can use it again for once it would seem that dooms and bb's are a good combination or perhaps the two of you who have something of an affinity for one another that's not even a baby it's just like an old man in a jar it's been like shrunk down a little bit you have a little confusing the Emily thing so the beach I'm guessing is where Norman Reedus repatriates where he revives himself baby looks like me drunk in a bathtub yeah more or less but if her body's on that Beach then I really don't understand what body they've kidnapped I'm I'm not understanding that isn't at that point it wouldn't really matter they kidnapped her bridge body okay Sam listen you are sound strapped don't tell me my own [ __ ] name no not anymore my name is Sam Porter bridges it's a funny word strand god I've got a piece it's part of a rope or bond while stranding means being washed up on the shore and being stranded is one you can't go home I'm stranded now here on the shores of the Civic but you're also stranded and held captive by the UCA which is walking distance from where I am you're free but we're still connected don't tell me we're not [Music] how you get what the UCA stands for I know what it stands for she is not aging because she's stuck on this Shore but she's also being held captive so if they have her real body held captive why is she still not aging the whole point of her not aging exists she's stuck here and this metaphysical plane in between life and death so what [ __ ] body do they have I just don't know I can't wrap my head around kojima here good lord now the sun is exploding Chrysler on Nuketown and someone just got the twenty-fifth kill [Music] for a dude that hates that thing he really does put it on quite often but luckily we still have our monster energy droppin when you need the rest inspect your gear if you info or whatever else if you have any questions feel free to ask our staff but before you do why not check things out for yourself see how Bridges operates these days well seeing is my canteen refills in here maybe I'll just power down some monster energy until Norman Reedus takes a piss naturally and that'll probably unlock it oh wait no the toilets working though let's test out the [ __ ] suddenly in shooting mechanics when you relieve yourself a certain amount of chiral matter is rushed from your system good chiral matter can adversely affect hormone secretion and nervous function there's a correlation between exposure and the development of phobias as well as in extreme cases violent and suicidal impulse taking a shits gonna make him violent and suicidal of the monitor by [ __ ] per-day excretions for my studies they provide a non-invasive means to monitor your exposure to Corellian and your overall health thanks for waking yet me Norman I'm gonna take a piss thanks to the recent wall Bashi thanks to the Prime glory bass okay no I'm gonna finally take a piss I think diehard man is Obama I doubt it well actually I guess well Bridget was supposed to be Hillary Clinton maybe no no hey there believe we've met I oversee delivery operations as Pancho's prepares nice to have you on board I'm mama in case I didn't mention it before those there are strands not just used for packing by the way but for identification to take a closer look and you'll see these names are absolutely awful they're so [ __ ] goofy die hard man mama Bridget bridges what was the other one and dead man speaking of suits blue is for delivery personnel red for medical orange for corpses disposal and black for security all right I'll stick with my current color scheme sad this is dead man I calculated your BB based on physiological data we collected from you earlier it's still just the best guess not after you take it out for a spin we can check if you're in sync and tweet the BB sensitivity is needed some good old monster energy let's chow down it's a regular old buffet out here thanks to the prime moons for days perfect smash it on your head frat style we're only just getting started baby we're going all-in have this [ __ ] looking like an eight-year-olds birthday party with the sugar rush about to kick in luckily I already cleared out my tank took my daily piss so this should buy me like 10 minutes before I have to urinate again in those 10 minutes I'll be running like Sonic the Hedgehog they better refill this [ __ ] when it runs out nicely the resub reason no you have to take that at face value right now the story can really begin let's get rolling I don't really care about my figurine collection I'm ready to go with that terminal there you can browse the Bridges database which has info on a range of subjects you don't have clearance for everything but there's still plenty you might find informative no active orders all right well is worth looking hello die hard man now he'll be fine Ben it's all part of the Stratton well have you had a chance to think it over the answer is no unless you bring me monster energy every day that's safe for you dooms guys to where that's all you need to go forth and replacing the researcher live to make us whole again I'm a porter I don't care about connecting anything makes me separate true but I'll do what I have to to help Amelie out listen up Sam the terminals amilies people built in the towns and cities they pass through on their journey west are called nots the infrastructure is there but the Cairo network is offline right now it's only capable of transmitting voice communications sometimes wired sometimes wireless and a small amount of data so unless the necessary data stored on-site our Cairo brands won't show up Emily and the other bridges members you've seen around the place are grams generated with local data in case you didn't know anyway all you've got to do is find the knot and neck you're Cupid and brain Cairo communications online turns easy enough she connected to the terminal you'll be able to initiate zero time massive data transmission with the UC a ninja is that the scientific term Rican sounds a bit juvenile for it to our past engaging turbo data transfer all the lost and fragmented junk data will be compiled and restored like bringing a dinosaur back to life from a fossil 4.6 billion years of history on earth all the wisdom and knowledge we lost since the death stranding will be powers again and that my friend I will beat this thing it's a good plan I don't really care I'm just here to deliver packages or what that basically just a monster advertisers the whole game has monster advertisements in it so far your canteen is literally a monster can well the original it says monster can but it's a cans to mouth monster nothing were you just copies true which is why we'll still need Porter's like you before and after we're made whole we'll need men in the middle no rest for the wicked huh what an enticing offer it once America's back you can be a lower-class if you line hands and all that we'll give you the details at the dispatch terminal make sure you check it upstairs drops waiting up there too these shoes look like they've done some serious miles wait hold on there's something I want you to look into my blood seemed to set those things off happen more than once set them off oh do you mean I don't know you took my blood didn't ya you tell me all right I'll see what I can do hmm game time as Mads Mikkelsen ever played a good guy in hannibal haven't seen edible maybe Mads Mikkelsen turns into the baby in the jar all right here we go now the action begins anew where's not City oh I'm in not City Sam your current objective is to extend the cotton network from here uh to the poor don't think you can make a beeline straight for it signal won't carry that far to cover the distance we need to utilize knots they can be like tying ropes together to make a longer rope the first of these nah this is a bridges away station go ahead and take a look deliver whatever they need and connect the QP Coenen Jeff Keely there's a lot of celebrity cameos I know Sam ordered summaries may contain information critical to your success make sure to review them before getting underway [Music] yeah I'm definitely gonna carry on back Sam we've supplied you with some rope and a ladder for this run they should help with the steeper incline right now I figured you're thinking about how looks good baby how far away are we going well you hate to see that yep I'll do it again though yeah yeah Oh peepee time finally okay there's no way we gonna hold it we drank six monsters well that's a shame I can't make him pee when I want him to pee Kojima probably made like real-time his data analytics to get the scientifically accurate his times for Norman Reedus okay you're right I can do it outside that's big I'm gonna say 500 milliliters for later just in case I run out of things to drink bridges IDs for easy tracking I think I found a few [ __ ] no God okay well you expect me to honorably piss on the dead enemies I think it's gonna be a long time before we get to any enemies my man I know there are some but that's not gonna be for a long time from now [Music] alright I'm gonna call it a night it's already 2:30 I don't feel like running that whole way right now I'm gonna piss out all 500 milliliters have you see if I can get at the peak of this showed but I don't think I can and I drink a monster while I'm doing this okay that's good enough alright everyone thanks for tuning into I'm gonna donated big thank you appreciate it new subs welcome board so it means a lot to me so thanks for subbing and I hope you all sleep well take it easy everyone see ya

Channel: Cr1TiKaL Full Streams - Random Videos

Views: 41,329

Keywords: Cr1TiKaL, penguinz0, youtube gaming, livestream, live stream, charlie, theofficialpodcast, kaya orsan, moist meter, huggbees, zealotonpc, critikal, cr1tikal, critical, cr1tikal livestream, Tiana, game, video game, stream, critikal livestream, critical livestream, streaming, Speedrun, critikal live stream, full stream, Full Streams, twitch, twitch stream, moistcr1tikal, cr1tical, the official podcast, big moist, VOD, stream archive, cr1tikal stream, twitch archive, bigmoistcr1tikal

Id: GB_V-4IDSsE

Length: 152min 40sec (9160 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 28 2019