Mitch Hedberg Early T.V. (1995) stand-up

um I'm gonna bring up your first stack now and I believe it was Eva Peron who once said please welcome this next gentleman mitch hedberg it's very cool of you to applaud for me I dig that this is my microphone hand right here so if it acts a little silly it's it's adjusting to its newfound freedom okay mine I performed in Nashville Tennessee last week I just got back this morning and it was my second time at the club down there and it wasn't by popular demand it was because of rotation that's what brought me back did radio interviews I I walked into the studio to do an interview the DJ's first question was who are you I had to think you know this guy really deep what did I Drive to the wrong station a lot of radio stations they'd like to use a frequency number to count down the days of summer like like FM 107 will celebrate 107 days of summer you know AM stations can't do this we Ram 1610 celebrating the 60 hundred and ten days of the next four and a half years gonna be a long party those go slow a lot of people flashed a peace sign these days you know it's cool to flash the peace sign but I think it's cooler to express peace verbally hey brother to peace is a hard concept that I tell I was home last week and I heard I heard a gunshot outside of my apartment then I saw two guys run by my window so I was gonna call the police but then I got optimistic I said hey maybe it's just a race yeah that's what it is there's a lot of late night track and field events by my house nocturnal jocks I live in a studio apartment one room like when people come over I like to give them a tour yeah I was loosen up their neck I got a sliding glass door has a sticker says warning alarm system it's real simple alarm - it consists of a sticker I'm gonna threaten people with words I should be more intense an alarm system like maybe warning no air inside quicksand monster I pushed it transportation is a good way to get around I walk a lot I'm a walker on if I don't walk I end up in one spot I walk my people try to hand me out flyers you know when someone tries to hand me out a flyer it's kind of like they're saying here you throw this away and clap I'm not used to that I was in a band for a while I was in the band for seven years it was a death metal band oh people either loved us or they hated us they thought we were okay a lot of death metal bands have intense names like rigor mortis or mortuary or obituary we weren't that intense that we just went with injured they don't we change it to acapella as we were walking out of the pawn shop we became a death metal barbershop quartet shopper I shop for things I was looking for some glue recently but all this one store had with superglue it sounded way too overwhelming they didn't have any pretty good glue I don't want to hang from a steel beam I just want to put some back together I had another line but it's too late you clap too long rhythm I want to open up a chain of pizza restaurants called Mitch's pizzeria not because I excel at making pizza I just think Pizza Hut is cocky and they need to be taken out their advertising that they're going to accept all competitors coupons so if Mitch's pizzeria was going on a print up a coupon that said unlimited free pizza special note coupon not good at any of the Mitch's Pizza low K free pizza oven with purchase oh the small coat I was born in Minnesota that's where I was raised Minnesota that's why I left you because you that's kind of stupid but when I was 18 I was kind of sick of living there so my friend Tim and I we packed up his Volare we moved from Minnesota to Florida we wanted to move to Texas but the front end alignment was bad hook up with a roommate down there his name was Eddie he was kind of slow on the mental draw I was writing a letter one that I had a problem I say Eddie how do you abbreviate Arkansas you said I don't know just start spelling it then quit I used to do acid on occasion but when I was on acid it was strange I would see things like like beams of light and hear sounds that sounded an awful lot like car horns when we were on acid we would go into the woods because when you're in the woods trip and there's less likely a chance you run into an authority figure well we ran into a bear there's even more of a buzzkill friend Dewayne was standing there raising his right hand wearing the help prevent forest fires got it away got away from the Barry put his arm around my shoulder he said Mitch smokey is way more intense in person

Channel: diderr01

Views: 3,618,551

Keywords: mitch, headburg, hedberg, comdey, stand-up, funny, jokes, improv, live, performance, one, line, liners, dry, humor, comic, stage, glasses.

Id: e8DKsCi3LIo

Length: 8min 44sec (524 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 20 2010

Reddit Comments

[u/bassmx52]

He was a silly mother fucker and I wish he was still around to make us all laugh

[u/bauerwelson]

The no mic thing bothers me so much for some reason lol

[u/PeanutButterOlives]

He was amazing. I miss him...

[u/Suavepebble]

The alarm system joke is so good.

[u/1Glitch0]

I saw him perform in person in Seattle right before the end and he was hilarious but clearly fucked up. He spent the last 5 or 10 minutes trying to get into a briefcase he lost the key for. The show went so long the manager called curfew and he was like "fuck off".

[u/zabuma]

God what a brain that guy had

[u/rob_nhood]

Growing up listening to Hedberg, I thought by diving into his albums I had heard it all. Thanks for posting this, even getting 1 new joke I had never heard before is an absolute gift.

[u/ardrarian]

I used to laugh at Mitch's jokes. I still do, but I used to too.

[u/TruckerTM]

I thought I've seen all his stuff...big Hedberg fan here. Loved this clip and you just made my day! Thanks OP.