Miscarriage at 6 weeks

hey guys um it's autumn welcome back to my channel today I kind of have like I don't even know what you would call a video like this um it's really hard for me to even come on here and share this with you guys just being that the wound is still so fresh but I recently posted up positive pregnancy tests that I had received on my channel one of the main reasons why I wanted to come on here and even share this story is because of the fact that you know you got I've been still getting a lot of like comments and stuff you know like congratulating me and stuff which I'm so so grateful for you guys you guys don't understand how grateful I am for your love and for your support like I can never express the gratitude that I have for each and every single one of my subscribers and friends here on YouTube but I wanted to kind of inform you guys about a little bit of what's been going on so the weekend Thanksgiving weekend so Thanksgiving was on Thursday that Sunday after that Thursday I had taken a pregnancy test I was getting a lot of weird symptoms I didn't think I was pregnant you guys I've been you know me and my husband I've been trying for years I already like to try to conceive and that thing has happened and so it's just been kind of crazy usually like you know I've purchased pregnancy tests just kind of more for the fun of it never really for like never really like because like I really like I was like yeah like I was confident in being pregnant so I was like okay you know what let's get a pregnancy test I was experiencing a lot of weird symptoms like I was getting a whole metallic taste I was feeling pretty like nauseous I was feeling really like I was cramping a lot I was breaking out it was like periods I mean symptoms that you would get before your period but it was a little bit stronger so I was like you know I let's take a see test just for the heck of it and let's just see what's going on and that Sunday I took a pregnancy test and it came out positive and I was like so blown away and so grateful just because I just couldn't believe my eyes and then summer I called up summer I called up my sisters and my mom and I told him about what happened and then I sent Dominic back to the store to get more pregnancy tests just to confirm it and I wanted to kind of share you guys share with you guys you know how I was feeling in the moment and that was the pregnancy test that I have recently posted so I went to the doctors then on Monday the Monday after that Sunday so the very next day I called and I scheduled an appointment with my OBGYN to get the pregnancy confirmed so then I had a an appointment on Wednesday that after that Monday and I went in and I got my pregnancy confirmed that I was five weeks and three days pregnant so I was just like so blown oh wait you guys I was still blown away I was so like excited like words could not express like the joy that had overtaken me um I'm so sorry hey guys I'm so like emotional because this is still like such a fresh wound like how I told you guys but where it's just couldn't even express like the excitement that I had felt you know over conceiving a child and then um so I was just going on the week I was like thank God because my husband and I were taking like planning to get pregnant like I was taking prenatals and he was taking like another environment it was like the one day planning to get pregnant pack I've heard so many good reviews that after you take them a bunch of people come on pregnant whatever which we did but we're nurses that's for another story time but um I was so grateful and I came up pregnant so I was just taking my prenatal like super excited like I was actually like so excited because like two years back I had bought and pregnancy journal and summer was pregnant at the time and this is like around two years back summer I was pregnant and summer is my twin if you guys don't know she was pregnant so I bought a pregnancy journal like two years back because I had been trying to get pregnant since before then and then so I was like you know I'm just gonna buy a pregnancy journal you know maybe hopefully soon I'll be pregnant but you know how us girls just get into our weird moves and just start buying stuff and so I'm doing crazy stuff when I really like start to possess over something a little bit so as I come to my pregnancy journalist I was so excited excited filling up my pregnancy journal this week I was like you know a god here so awesome I was so grateful to God for you know his promise that he had fulfilled you know my pregnancy etc and I was so so so grateful beyond words for it and then the week went on so that on Saturday I began to like spa a little bit and I was like okay this is like totally normal especially you know around this time around that time of my pregnancy I was like this is so normal I know that you know there's implantation bleeding you know there's a lot of bleeding like I mean there's not a lot of bleeding but there's a lot of women who do bleed I think it's like a third of pregnant women bleed I don't know what that is but something around that don't take me where to Freya but I was spotting so I was like okay this is totally normal like I'm not even gonna freak I'm not gonna stress because I know that the main thing that you don't want to be under in your first trimester is stress so I was like okay I'm just gonna relax um I'm not going to freak out I know that my one of my sisters has experienced a couple of miscarriages so I I was like okay you know what I'm not gonna freak but I called her up and I told her I was like look what's happening and she's like just relax don't stress this your bleeding is so why it was like super light light light pink bleeding it was so minor couldn't even fall on like a packed that's how light it was so it's like okay no big deal so then I bled for maybe like an hour like when I heard wipe after using the restroom and now maybe like three hours three hours max and so it's like okay no biggie so then after that on Sunday the next day I didn't bleed at all I relaxed all day I watched movies I just I had a normal day and then the Monday after that day I started to experience bleeding again and I was like okay maybe this is normal like I'm not gonna freak out it was like bleeding and I was like okay you know what god I'm just gonna give this to you father god I just you know daily I would pray over my pregnancy I would thank God and I was like you know what God I'm just gonna give this to you like I'm not gonna freak out you know and you know I went crazy I went like looking on YouTube like a bunch of other girls stories and stuff of like bleeding and stuff and I was like okay God like I think I'm gonna be okay I'm just gonna try to not stress I remember laying down and my sisters like drink lots of orange juice and elevate your elevate like your pelvic area elevated like put a pillow underneath and just elevate it and just rest rest rest rest rest so then I would say that was like in the morning like at around 9:00 a.m. and then I would say that probably a little bit later I got a rung 12 ish I started like I was bleeding like heavier okay so I was like bleeding but I began typically like a little bit heavier still you would consider light still was not dropping on the pad and I was like okay you know what this is okay like I just need to relax cuz like I think it's really hard because like everyone's like yeah relax relax relax but like you know I felt like I was getting a lot of like thoughts thrown at me like okay so what if like what if I like lose the baby like I was kind of freaking out over that and so but I was trying my hardest to relax I feel like I was relaxed more I feel like if I was pretty relaxed I mean I was still thinking about it but I felt like I was just like try not to cry I try not to stress and I was just relaxing and then like around later on probably okay so I called up actually before all of this I could around 11 o'clock I called it my ob/gyn and I was like hey I've just been experiencing like light bleeding nothing so happy that I felt like I needed to go to the emergency room or anything like that I was like I feel like if I'm like you know I'm experiencing bleeding I want to let you guys know I know that it's spotting as normal and plantation bleeding is something common like in pregnancy so I was like I know that it's O normal like it wouldn't be out of the ordinary for me to believe but I'm just calling to let you guys know so they're like okay we're gonna have somebody call you back later on and kind of talk with you so you can kind of show you sometimes and blah so I was like okay that's fine so I was like just relaxing then later at around like 4:30 I got a call from I got a call from the office and since that my bleeding had even escalated even to be more heavy and I was kind of starting to freak out at that point it was more like it wasn't so much of a bright pink it was more like a red color and so I was starting to kind of freak out a little bit I wasn't clotting but it was just like red so I was like oh my gosh I was like what am I going to do and so I called them and they're like you know what can you immediately come in get some labs done get some blood taken out so we can kind of test and then that way um we can figure this out and then they scheduled me so this was on Monday this past Monday this last week of Monday and they're like okay let's just well today is the this was on the fourth I think the fourth of December because I don't have my phone I don't know what day we don't know if Monday was the fourth of December that's when it was and so um she was like come on in get some lab work done and whatever so I was like okay and then she's like okay and then we're gonna schedule you for an ultrasound even sooner on Monday I I was six weeks pregnant on Monday so that's so like okay well this will be kind of good because if I get an ultrasound you know you'll be able to see how they'll be able to see like a heartbeat they'll be able to see you know a super super mini baby but you know they'll be able to see it and they'll just sound so I was like okay so then after I want to get a lobster and I came back home and then it was already like 7 o'clock ish and I was like you I was laying down and I was like I'm just gonna give this to God but something inside of me was like go to the restroom and just wipe just just wipe just see like how much I was bleeding so then I went to the restroom and I wiped and it was like if I was heavy on my period and so I kinda started to freak out and I was like you know what Dominic I told Dominic thank God thank God he was here with me because if I was all alone you guys I don't even know what I would have had done but I told Dominic I was like hey let's go let's go to the emergency room now like we need to go now so we got all the stuff and we got ready to head over to the emergency room and we went there and I told the people you know at the hospital I was like look I'm 6 weeks pregnant experiencing bleeding since Saturday started to experience bleeding Sunday didn't bleed Monday I'm waiting again and it's just been getting heavier and heavier and heavier and heavier so I was like freaking out really bad and so they took me back they did some lab work really quick like instantly they took me back it was so weird like I literally did not even have to wait like 3 minutes they took me back instantly so um and they drew blood and then after that they sent me back to go and get an ultrasound so I went back to go under an ultrasound and the girl the girl did an ultrasound like over my stomach and she was like look um I don't see anything because I guess that since you know your uterus at this point in pregnancy is not so like pushed up like she couldn't see anything all she could really feels like my water and stuff like that so I was like okay well I don't know maybe that's it maybe I don't I don't know I'm just sucked into my understanding but she was like I don't see anything so I can't see anything in your uterus from this point so let's go ahead and let's do transvaginal ultrasound so I was like okay and so um she went on ahead and did the transvaginal I was like cramping so bad you guys and then whenever she went in and did the transvaginal you guys tell me but I'm not quite sure like she was like pushing like light on my uterus and then after a while she started to push so hard on my uterus you guys like it was like the worst pain that I had ever experienced in my life literally the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life she was pushing like really hard on my uterus she wasn't saying anything she was so serious looking at the screen like she did not tell me like anything wasn't no emotion no nothing I didn't look that's a normal like maybe that's like their job I know that they're not allowed to tell me anything if they see or don't see anything so I was freaking out and then after that then I went to the bathroom and I was like bleeding still even the lick a little bit more and I was like okay like let me just breathe and not freak out and so then um so then after that then I went to a room they had a room for me already like instantly and I was just waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting to get my results I didn't even ask the ultrasound tech like if what the results were cuz I didn't you she was kind of being like a jerk like she was kind of being rude so I was like I'm not even gonna ask her anything or do anything and I was just waiting and waiting and I was like I was I kind of like preparing my mind for the worst but yeah like my heart was still hoping for like the best and I was just like God I just I give you the situation Lord Jesus and if it's not if it's not okay like I'm okay like I know that I never the type to be like God this is higher fall or something like that I've never been that tight because I know that God does not do things to us to like purposely like Hartman's like I know that he doesn't do things like take things away from us or do things to us to like hurt us he's not a vengeful God he's not an ugly God like that and I was just like God I know that if everything comes out wrong I'm not gonna even blame you for it I'm just gonna give you it and I don't I didn't know like how to expect that I didn't know how to feel like if it had happened so then after that then the doctor had came in it was a female I think she was a doctor I don't know if she was there wasn't but they kept on calling her a doctor but I don't know what her label was it said PA I think I don't know what that means you guys know what that means but they were calling her doctor and so she came in and then she did a public exam and I guess was like checking the cervix to see like if it was open or shut or what and um she was like yeah I see some clotting on your around like it on your cervix and I was like okay like I didn't you guys I don't have much knowledge about like everything like next time I needed to totally do my research but like I was like okay like I'm bleeding so maybe clotting I know clotting is not good whenever you're pregnant I was like okay and then so she finishes the exam and then um she's like okay so after she finished the whole thing she's like okay so we got your results back and um your HCG level was really low I guess if they usually will look for like a 15 but that it was like at an 11 point two or something super low so she was like you did miscarry and she she said I don't know like there's a possibility that no but I really feel like you didn't miscarry and I think she was just telling me that to kind of like make me feel better like you know she was trying to tell me like Ana sugarcoat it but I had had a miscarriage and I was just like I remember like in that moment like I tried to keep my face so still you guys like I was just like okay like I just tried to like hold my composure and not really react and then all of a sudden like a huge like wind of emotion just came over me and I I can't even you guys I do not wish this on my I don't really have enemies but I do not wish this on my worst enemy I do not wish this on the worst female in the world I just all I know is that my husband was there with me and my mother-in-law was there with me and I just held my composure and then I like cried a little bit and then the doctors like it took hey it's okay I'm just gonna go now like she's like I'm gonna go and get you your papers so you can get discharged so I was like okay and I just went into the bathroom to like change from the gown to my clothes and I just like bawled my eyes out you guys in the in the restroom but I was just like freaking out like I wasn't like COD why did this happen to me I was just like well this this just happened and so then um so then after the ha I kind of like held my composure a little bit and you know Dominic was being so strong for me I I'll be so grateful for like the strength that he held for me and he was being so just serious but strong and so comforting and so was his mom like they were both being so strong for me and I was so grateful for that but so then after all of that had happened we left the hospital on me and Dominic came home and you know of course I I cried and cried and cried and I was just like God like I can't believe this just happen you know I was so you know excited to have a baby and whatnot and I don't know and I was just like wow and um I guess you guys the reason why I'm sharing this story is because not so much I need to share this story with you guys because you guys need to know because you guys are my subscribers and I don't want to like post the pregnancy test and then not post anything also then you guys be like whoa what happened like she pregnant it whatever what's going on and so um but I'm not telling this story so much out of pity you guys since that has happened I'm still working on it but I've just been just giving my feelings and my emotions towards all of this and just giving the whole situation to the Lord and just I know that I know that this is super hard for you women who maybe have experienced miscarriage I can't speak for your guys's emotions I can't speak for how you guys feel but I do know that it's something so hard to go through I'm kind of just like ah the first day I was just the morning after I was just like trying to like pretend like I was it kind of felt like if everything was all just like a huge dream to be honest with you like I was like okay well I was only six weeks pregnant so let's just treat it like him it was like a dream or something like I don't even want to think about it like as if it was real and then the day after that I got real to be honest before this video I prayed and I asked God like to just give me the right words but I'm not filming this video for pity but I was like kind of like as hopefully as a testimony yet because I don't know I have not fully healed from this but just that and a way to say like you guys I don't know if any of you feel more females feel like you know what God like how could you do this to me um personally with me I I know that God does not do things to us to harm us but I know that he allows things to happen and I feel like right now like this is super hard but in at the end of the day this testimony is gonna be something just to just all for his glory everything's gonna be all for his glory as weird as that sounds and I'm just like I just want you guys to know that God if you guys are going through this or have gone through this God is there for you and he's there to comfort you and right now I I know that God has I feel that God has promised me you know a baby and you know even though it didn't happen now I know that it can I know that it will happen in the future because I know that the Lord stands firm and his promises and I've just I just I feel like if I'm all over the place you guys but if you guys are going through this I just I know that God has his hand over you and I know that God will be your comfort and he will be your strength and he will be you know you're provided through this and and if any of you woman have gone through this and you guys want somebody to talk with um you know I'm not strong but you know I'm here just to listen and the situation is not very easy for anybody and I'm so grateful for my family and for my friends I know my youtube friend Nicole she's been really she really was uplifting through this whole situation and I want to thank you Nicole for all your kind words that you shared with me and I just I don't know what to say you guys I'm still sad but I given it to I'm continuing to give this situation to the Lord on a daily basis and I don't know if this is a wound that you could ever heal from or what but I'm just giving it to the Lord and this is just kind of not an ultimate video like us I don't know you guys I kind of felt nervous to even post it I think I'm just gonna leave this video here and I just pray that God blesses you guys I love you guys so much and I'm so grateful for you guys and I'm so grateful to God for it the comfort that he's bringing me through this so I think that's it you guys that's all I'm gonna say um love you guys so much and I'll talk to you guys soon bye

Channel: Autumn Flower

Views: 14,006

Rating: 4.9609756 out of 5

Keywords: miscarriage story, my miscarriage story, miscarriage at 6 weeks, i lost my baby, autumn flower

Id: mmn3dT_zN9s

Length: 24min 40sec (1480 seconds)

Published: Mon Dec 11 2017