MercyMe - Bart's Testimony/intro to Dear Younger Me

so that song which if you didn't figure out it's called trying to come you know it's that song in the next issue song about the same are all kind of connected they they have to do with my relationship with my dad that's where they came from and and but it's like the trilogy of songs this is like the star wars of songs is what is action and I'm actually singing I'm out of order which is a lot like Star Wars but I guess there's funky when I'm talking about so finally home the song just saying was written on the 10th anniversary if I can only a minute alright so not singing that yes calm down this is like the worst presentation ever did they were saying and so it was written on 10th anniversary front imagine so explaining imagine was written after my father passed away with cancer but it was written like a few years after my father passed friend of Katie and the way way it came about was we were leaving the gravesite when I was 19 my grandmother was looking out the window and she said I can only imagine what bug to see him right now it is stuck with obviously and I you sir right right that phrase down in anything my hands on and I don't know if you remember this but I grew up in a time where telephones were stuck to the wall of the court heard stories that my kids say I was born in the 1900s technically is true but I still knock them down whenever there's anything but you know if you wanted privacy this phone you had had like a sixty eight foot long board to went down the heart and so if you were put on the home you couldn't go to where you get to sit there so I would just be sitting with a can I've been riding I can only manage it down over and over and over did it for years actually so that was dad passed away in 91 when 99 is roaming in 94 we started personally my grandmother who said that about every night she also named the baby she called me and I was sort of working at church Lord at the time she was like what are you going to do with the rest of your life no it was start a band it sounds easy I know eyes she said oh mercy me why don't you get a real job in our defense we've avoided hard labor for 22 years take that money so we started bad 94 it was 99 we were written a few in hidden albums we needed one more song for this out we were working on so I was looking for a blank page to write on every page in every journal I had had I only imagined written so I was like okay I get it and so it's one of those few times my lifework song was written like in five or ten minutes but it had been in my heart for several years and so then we've been kind of hanging on to the ride everything kind of changed after that song came out and then fast forward 10 years later we're working on the album tell all this within the we were in the studio talking about how we can't believe it in song imagines ten years old like the song won't go away you know and we started talking about when you know what's crazy is that was nineteen when my dad passed away I was close and and and so much has happened since he's passed he passed away that I can't wait to I finally get to see him kind of tell battle and stuff and people are like going you know bless your heart he's looking down from heaven so proud I appreciate the sentiment I just can't find scripture that says that's true now it might be he may wear a toga and play a heart like a Looney tune but I'm just saying I think he has more important things to do like worship a living gods and stare me on time but you know what neither here nor there but I do believe with all my heart that there will be a day when I get to see him begin face-to-face and whether he knows about all this crazy stuff attack with us or not he's not here frumpy one more time and so that's what finally home came from is just you know just getting to see my dad after all it's tough and I think that I think there's four men young men old men whatever I just think there's a part of us that sincerely just wants to make our father our dad proud and I'm no different it's especially this this whole thing these songs are very important to me because my dad passed away he was one of the godliest men I've ever known but he was always that way a parents divorced I was three my mom remarried in about third grade as she they moved to different town and my brother and I lived with my dad motorcycles on and so from third grade on a little one day everybody loved my dad nobody knew that he had a really bad temper and he was very abusive behind closed doors especially to me I don't remember many weeks where I wasn't meeting four or five times a week and if he had a bad day he would take it out on me and this went on until about sixth grade I went through like a growth spurts and never laid a hand on me again but he taught me a part of Marcelin and that went on until that my freshman year in high school and this is when my father was diagnosed with cancer this was bittersweet for me because part of me was glad I thought all this would come to an end the other part of me was devastated because it was my dad it's all of them knew and what I didn't realize that I was given like this front-row seat to see the gospel changed someone like I've never seen before and if rarely sings in he went from being this monster that being a man was desperately compassionately in love with Jesus right and I don't say that lightly because quite honestly I didn't want grace to be for him how's her Oh Benny and tool everybody else please not gonna for me the change is so into hi well not because of things he did when people are watching it's because the things he did when no one was watching we never prayed in my house growing up not at Thanksgiving Christmas Easter's to happen and all of a sudden my dad be praying every night for me and my brother a mom who divorced I was three like who is this to my dad for those four or five years the cancer he just withered away he went from being like 370 pounds to 111 pounds of meat festival he never wouldn't be in the hospital and so for most of that time his bedroom became his hospitalized for all the stuff in and so I there are so many nights where I go in the middle of night to check on him and he'd be you'd fall asleep with his face in the work I would move it to his nightstand didn't wake up and we would start talking just hours on end and every conversation again the same way he would say I'm so sorry for the things I've done to you I wish I could fix it and looking back I think every time we had this conversation just spot a small part of me was being repaired like I said by the time you passed away hands down he's the guy that I want to be like when I grow up if I ever do grow up and it's certainly to me it's a happy ending because I've had a chance to spend time with with such a godly man and to see first in such a change changed my life forever because I'm like man if a gospel can change back then it can change anybody and I and I rejoice in the fact that he's a much greater part of my teacher that he ever will be give my best and so I could say it's happy ending but I would be kidding if I didn't say I've had a few issues a little bit of baggage along the way I've been married for 19 years had five amazing kids Shannon my wife was my first girlfriend in 73 along she didn't come to her senses topology didn't baby took a long she's not here of course but we were best friend that whole time she knew my dad I knew about the whole change into the fight so I just felt like it was it was meant to be fairytale wedding or at least ahead of this and then it didn't take long to realize it man I don't deal with stressful situations very well I got always take the blame you see but all day on main is my fault and I'm just carry this guilt and I'm just wounded man if something just intense what happened I just follicle a corner in fetal position start sucking my bombs I didn't know what to do and my wife was like you know what here's a thought we should go to counseling so we don't kill each other I was like that's a great idea I don't want to die and so we wouldn't saw this amazing godly counselor who not only saved that marriage I think she saved their lives it was this moment to where I just call it a breakthrough moment where she said something profound enough that I started crying like but Good Will Hunting was not flying anywhere that's comparison and all she said was and just getting out yet I when I said have five kids Sam is 14 Gracie is 11 Charlie's 10 they're two more that are unbelievable and they're called four and five no Sophia times what's funny is that's kind of a joke now but there was a night when it actually hit me I could remember does anybody have like a lot of kids like that way probably nothing right not good you ever go to the pharmacy and you just try to get their medicine and you gotta they ask you to the date of birth that's like taking an SAT test man I start to stress out I'm like I'll just go third on it I gotta go so I text my wife what's very birthday anyway so what she said was she said if you ever wonder what you would have been like in a godly family environment just watch her little son Charlie because he's just like I start balding Charlie dandy now I was crying uncontrollably and I know you know for a while my wanted that hit me so hard and maybe it's because I just felt like it was maybe a do-over that I was given the chance to be the dad that my dad couldn't be to me for so long maybe it's because she just accused us of being godly family environments like we win hey get out before she figures it out I do have to say that of all my kids I certainly stand watch charging more than all of them now I overanalyze everything he does but by to pick Cheerios over Froot Loops that rhyme it wrong admit it just you know at some point it got me thinking man if I could sit down and have a conversation with the eight-year-old version of me what would that define with everything that's happened in your life if you could have just 5 to 10 minutes with that innocent kid what would you possibly say to the blessing and the curse of a songwriter is that my therapy is that I write songs about and so I thought it was a good idea for a song not realizing it was going to be one of the hardest songs in a written so I didn't know what to say and I started stressed out is that he was going to walk in the room and expect something and so made it stuck with me for a long time I couldn't figure it out and then one night I was in my car by myself and it just dawned on me I know exactly what I would say so this song is the essay it's a conversation but his early talkback so it's the one side of home with the eight-year-old version we hope you like that is called helium

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Length: 13min 2sec (782 seconds)

Published: Sun May 01 2016