MEN DON'T BENEFIT From Marriage Like WOMEN!

over 80% of the time the man has to pay either some type of alimony or they have to pay some wom Mary J pay alimony % of the time the exception to the rule doesn't doesn't change it over 80% of the time the man is pants alimony or they're losing their Assets in a divorce over 95% of the time the man loses full custody of the child so you're talking about you want me to enter into an agreement with the state that if this fails I don't have full custody of my child even though that we found that statistically single fathers outperform single mothers in terms creating positive members of society another conversation number two I'm going to go through a 2-year divorce and go through a ringer with the state where I'm going to lose assets even if I had my own house if you contribute money to my house I could still lose it even if it's $1,000 if you contribute money I can still lose it just because you came into the situ so you want to tell me what's the price of submission if a man is paying all the bills if he's providing should he be able to get sex when he wants no no I am not your property so so see but but I'm a bank account it's a weird it's a weird reality weird reality but I'm saying but it's a real is a then go get a prostitute you can pay for her so then she would need a pimp you know what I mean like cuz my whole thing is you want money I want sex how do you create a a situation of marriage are we talking about but we real reality you know what I mean like reality man like all men will lie to you if men don't think about sex well respectfully this is where the delusion comes into play back to when they hit like you punch them in the mouth it's like air punch crazy the only the only thing that men get in marriage is sexual exclusivity and a and a child that's really it that's all they get you get child you can get a child anywhere let me break it down there nothing you can baby daddy of six kids I know [ __ ] got there's nothing that men really get in marriage that they can't get outside of marriage you're talking about you want a man to commit to a contract with the state that if you break it he loses 50% of everything that he's ever earned in his life here's what I'm saying this this is the thing that I don't think women understand the gravity of that statement that men think about right because you don't have to put it on the line if you ever decide to get married you don't think about about this but if I do I got to sign a document with the state that the [ __ ] that I own and built up my whole I sign they don't want they don't want the [ __ ] you got watch this watch they don't want your [ __ ] they don't shit's not as valuable why first of all you don't know that I'm I'm talk I just I remember that talking about women in general you're not talking to me all right all right I'm not saying you don't have valuable [ __ ] I'm saying we got assets too listen but you're only looking at men that have better assets than you right when the judge breaks down everything and the man has better assets than you and more money than you cuz that's what y'all said yall want y'all only want a man that you can't build you don't want to build orgasms you right you don't want to build a so she come on what so she know she know I want a man making more money than me he got being unfaithful that 50% that's my money that's what I'm saying but what I'm saying is what's the incentive what's the incentive for men right because he saying the benefit to I got to make a deal with the state the state don't give a [ __ ] about me we all have to make a deal with the state but the state looking at me when it's over but when when you break the contract because eight out of 10 um divorces are initiated by black women in the black community eight out of 10 so y'all break up homes oo I was I was strong that's I I get it I mean say y'all pick a home let me let me so not understand when you look at the facts you gotta here's my thing the facts don't have an angle they just are what they are now you can put the context behind it that's great but I'm just speaking on the facts okay but if the fact is that eight out of 10 black women initiate divorce did did the eight out of 10 black women initiate the divorce because the man did something stupid that's say say let's say this let's say half of them are because of the worst things ever domestic abuse uh whatever let's just say half okay so now it's four out of 10 so not only do I want not get beat up anymore I also want my half well I'm saying I'm saying you exclud now 40 40% of women are initiating divorce that's still crazy why because when you say your vows and you say until death do its part for better for worse and sickness and health right what does that mean what is your wor your word doesn't really mean the same weight if we're taking half of the worst things ever okay you're just divorcing because you're what unhappy re do we do we know why self worth not matter anymore what does what does that mean I don't on wait was what the can we question can we run the question back again well CU I don't want to DV too too much the question is who benefits more from Marriage men or women right that's what I'm saying so we're talking about like benefit in the sense of like doing the doing the relationship journey of marriage like that whole journey who's going to benefit the most right and I'm speaking from the perspective for men what men are saying right now is that marriage doesn't benefit them this is where what happened I don't think women benefit the most but why I feel like we have a lot of sacrifice what speak peace go ahead go ahead what are we sacrificing sacrificing our bodies by providing these men children that they OB providing these men you want them too what what way I mean I would assume that you got married to the dude y' had a conversation about joint vision of wasn't kids right you we talked earli about how men are very serious about their legacy right but I'm saying but if you would pick the dude you picked you had a conversation about that like we did right and you know but that does not mean it's not a sacrifice on my body and my health but when you sat down and you had a dream about you having a family that was already a part of the deal but that's still a sacrifice it doesn't change that narrative that's the point the you have to sacrifice for a Dream that's you ain't no dream for free but it's still a sacrifice but but it's for the one things you want though what did you what would you sacrifice by getting married what would I sacrifice Freedom a contract with the state so is is the thing that we is it that we when we're saying like who is more being more beneficial and we are saying well who's sacrificing more are we not so are we not doing sacrifices that benefit both parties we're saying okay Ben that happening what you mean like who benefits she's trying to she's trying to say you you asked who you you asked who benefits more in a marriage and she disagrees that it's not she doesn't think it's women she thinks it's men so you asked her why she thinks that so she said well number one I'm sacrificing my body to give you the kids okay and sacrifice you can't do y'all can't have kids that's not exclusive to marriage there's nothing that you have to be married to have kids so that's not exclusive to marriage okay so so once so we're we're back to what's the benefit for what's the benefit of marriage for men who's the primary beneficiary of marriage there's nothing inherently that says that you have to be married to apprpriate well someone someone someone helps Tak care someone helps to take care of you for the rest of your life who does most of the work as far as like taking care of the child taking care of the home and everything the women do that y'all go out I guess quote unquote and work and what have you and then we're expected to do these traditional womanly things nurturing taking care of the kids making sure the home is clean making sure you're fed the kids are fed doing we do a lot of that and that is a sacrifice on our life men really don't have to do that even husbands now what we expect y'all to of course but they don't have to it's very different for a woman so therefore I feel like we do sacrifice the most we a lot it takes a lot of our out of our lives that you will never experience you can't experience it and listen so therefore in a marriage and when we're in under the same household and everything we do provide a lot of value things that you want to come home to what comes home to it without us I like to change my answer I I I agree I agree to her point on that I do think that uh men benefit more in marriage in we benefit in different ways though right for the same point that you spoke on I think you do but it takes a lot of effort to you know when you think about like you know women who take care of a home a real women who is doing those tasks like you know taking care of a home clean and cooking taking make sure everything's put together and organized it smells good it homely that does take a lot of effort you know I think the the reason why we benefit is that the things that we get from you we see it on a more consistent basis the thing that we give up and submit you know most men who are stoic men who put their lives on the line for their family like we do it in other ways that you benefit from that from that protection that like you know m to the gym other dude see him as a threat you get protection because of that they don't want to mess with you you might not see that used on a daily basis but you know there's a benefit that you get because of that you know so we we benefit in different ways but long term it seems like men will get more of that on the consistent you'll see that more prevalent right in the terms of like the things that in a traditional sense of like if you have a family and you have most most of the time most men in today's day and age they only take care their kids there's men are no men are present in especially black men men are present in relationships but in the sense is like in responsibilities where like you know the wife might be doing more things with the child not saying you're not president you're not instructing but in the sense of doing more things taking the hospital visits taking them to school and things like that you see that more active more of the the women are more active in that sense in that role so you know you you do see a lot of effort in like taking care of the home from the women's side for sure I mean the man does provide and that is an effort to financially bear the burden especially if like if the structure is that you know you have the man making majority of the financial load so right but that's called a partnership it's a partnership it's a it's a benefit right that we come together so respectfully here's why what you said is cat here's why when they're talking about the men that they want the men that are doing better than them right if y'all are talking about y'all are career women and y'all are doing good in your career but y'all want a man that's even better than y'all so you get a man that's doing better than y'all and he's more rare than technically than you are from a from a percentage standpoint he's more rare than you are now you're looking at a man that's excelling in his career that has a purpose that has maybe other character traits that you admire because you got with him so he has to have something that you you wanted to settle down with you're when you say okay you make the house at home and you take care of the kids well who's putting the roof over everybody when you talk about the term husband husband comes from a Greek terminology of house bander it's a person that keeps the household together so you're you're saying I'm going to enter into a marriage with a man that's going to keep this household together that's going to be the primary protector the primary provider that's what y'all said y'all want a man that's doing better providing the household and building the foundation is completely different and women build a foundation for that household women build the foundation how by what I just talked about taking care of the household taking care of the children making sure the husband is good in many ways as well like the man is a provider yes they do they put put the roof over our head but we build a foundation within the house we're there while y out working it's it's essentially y'all provide the house but we make it a home correct but but but okay everything that you're saying that you provide somebody can Outsource house care there no Outsource well well house care somebody can Outsource I can send sh to dayare but you also just but you also just said that like y'all you a unit people survive better in like in in a relationship in a marriage so it's like you could Outsource all those things but you still need to get married at the end of the day in order to have a well balanced um what is it called like not not high valued life but to have like a very fruitful life you need to be married or you should be married but the question is who benefits more that's the question but so you think because you provided the house and the protection and and then there you you benefited more I feel like the foundation is more than the actual like house like building a home like she said is way more valuable than just put it a roof over your head it's almost like you can throw money at all the issues like you can throw money at the caretaker you can throw money to the for the house and you can throw the money but it's like we provide things that you can't throw money it's a structure that we provide I I I I would have to agree to that it's um it's it's twofold right you can have a big mansion it it still feel converted I'm not only I'm on a side I'm on a side of sense right it's a two it's a two it's it's it's a two-fold system you know we need both we we we need you to bring the home build the home build the land get the plot get the get the yard space the acres and she and she's going to make it homie so if you if you it's the same reason why you said you will leverage her skills for interior design because yeah I was just about to use that example thank you no down with the p no I'm just saying so you so so if you're talking to your son right and you say hey go get married and go enter into this contract with the state that if this fa no y y'all gota stop breezing over this divorce kills men it does it does y' can't live without us no because financially you you talking about a financial why why does so so this is so that these those are two separate questions right because like yes the there's like a lot of negatives when it comes to like marriage for men because of the legal implications but in the sense of just like if you picked a good spouse on both ends like who benefits more I'm not talking about like what happens after the fact that it don't work out yeah but that's a separate kind of question benefit is measured in Risk versus reward I get that part right so you got to look at the risk we're talking about if you're looking at all the if you're looking at all the legal implications yes it doesn't seem like we have a good incentive to get married as a man yes but if you take that aside and you said said all right maybe by when the divorce you can't take it aside I understand I'm just Hy maybe we can do a a thought experiment there is no take it aside y attaching a lot to monetary things a lot of it is just like even this conversation it's all about mon the state like this is that's monetary I'm I'm not going to lie but in this in this world money is like breathing you know mean I I I hold I know we don't we don't like to we don't like to psychologically put a a value to money but again I say if I took all your money your bank account what you going to do you going to be dead you going to be dead in a couple days bead in a couple days anyway going be out here boxing you going to be dead in a couple days anyway right because you know this is the thing that women this is the thing I think women don't think about it this way because they're never in the position where this doesn't benefit them wa but this is a man who was thinking of it this way wait wait wait let me explain I mean I don't I'm not when you already jumped over here you can't jump back you can't be jumping back you FP fler when when you're talking about divorces over 80% of the time over 80% of the time the man has to pay either some type of alimony or they have to pay some women Mary J BL pay alimony to 0% of the time the exception to the rule doesn't doesn't change it over 80% of the time the man is paying some of alimony or they're losing their Assets in a divorce over 95% of the time the man loses full custody of the child so you're talking about you want me to enter into an agreement with the state that if this fails I don't have full custody of my child even though that we found that statistically single fathers outperform single mothers in terms of creating positive members of societ another conversation number two I'm going to go through a two-year divorce and go through a ringer with a state where I'm going to lose assets even if I had my own house if you contribute money to my house I could still lose it even if it's $1,000 if you contribute money I can still lose it just because you came into the situation so you want to tell me came into the situation well okay so just so I'm clear because earlier you defined the beneficial as risk versus reward so your your whole point is that men benefit more from marriage because they have more to lose no I think women benefit more from marriage I'm sorry your whole point is that women benit more because men have more to L the reason that little girls are sold on this dream of marriage is because women inherently benefit more from Marriage men are not sold in marriage grow up I'm asking is your fundamental reason for believing that because men they have more to lose like is it because if it doesn't go well the risk is high right so I'm saying is your is your fundamental thought when you say men benefit more it's because y'all have more to lose so if it goes wrong I wouldn't say it's that's what you're saying I wouldn't say it's his fundamental thought I think we all think like that in everything that we do right you weigh your options on how worth it it is for you to do the thing whether it go to school workf weigh the risk the reward and all things encounter and you say maybe this relationship with this might not be worth it because whatever it is and so men have now weighed that same risk vers reward when it comes to marriage and says well because I got to deal with the state when I look at the numbers it doesn't make sense for me to do that worst case scenario when you're looking at the marital rate right now the mer the uh marital rate is about 57% that's that's that's low in terms of like how successful your marriage will be so you're you're saying men are entering into agreements where they're saying there's almost a one out of two chance that this could fail and if it fails I'm going to get crushed but we do have a 85% Remar rate absolutely and so marriage marriage is still hopeful in itself but I think the the statistic that's Mak that's so skewed is that people make bad choices right right I think people don't have discernment they don't know how to see Flags run away and then they make bad life dis choices and I think that's where there's a big disconnect on like how we're thinking and how maybe the average man thinks because like I don't I'm not I don't go into my marriage thinking what happens if this fails so like I think the reason we think women are or we think men are more beneficial is because we're like What are you getting if this survives I understand your statistics that say that statistically 50/50 it fails but like when we go in I think we're thinking y'all are benefiting more because we're thinking about it like it not failing whereas you're saying we benefit more because you're saying if it does fail look at all these rewards that we reap and look at everything that you lose I think I think the reason why you might be blessed to think like that because you do benefit you know what I mean because when you do benefit you wouldn't think that way you the reason why I think like that is because if you going to get crucified if you going to get crucified for doing something you should know would you put all your chip would you put all your chips on the table to win one chip you wouldn't you wouldn't that wouldn't be a good bet that's what I'm saying so we can Sol this all by y'all never getting married I'm not saying miserable but my thing is I'm not saying don't get married I I want people get married you don't want any of this I'm still Pro marriage I think I'm still Pro everything is hard everything is hard to do answer the answer isn't to not get married the answer is that can we all understand how big of a risk this is and put in full effort because right now you know when NOA no fault divorce came into play in the 60s it was that was you know you can get divorced for any reason back in the day you needed a real reason you needed he got to get caught cheating he had to have a baby across town now she can wake up and just be like I don't feel this and take everything from me not feeling it anymore so you got to understand from a man's perspective when a man gets down on one knee and proposes marriage it's like yo this is a big deal in Japan that's like the highest honor that's the highest honor for a man to propose marriage to a woman there's nothing there's nothing bigger than that so when we understand the implications like oh this is a big deal let's take this seriously as opposed to if it work it work if it don't it don't because it you know I'm I'm going walk away and find somebody else it's not that are we thinking that's the majority that's why the other like the theoretical in our like the way we set up the percentages that's why 40% of women are divorcing the men it's because they just don't they're not feeling anymore out of 10 you said 80 but you said let's take let's take the worst case scenario and say 40% are dealing with abuse or something crazy and that out so you said you're left with another 40 you're saying that 40% don't feel like itmore well they feel that they can do better A lot of when women excel in their career right you let's say you're a woman you got married early 23 24 and then you've been married eight years you 32 now you exceling your career you making I don't know 150 200k right I could do better than this dude that I was with he may not be excellent so let me go back in the field let me be Tia Maui I feel like and go in the field wasn't even a good example cuz Cory wasn't making [ __ ] okay first of all I get it I get it I get it I I hear you you he wasn't making [ __ ] a good man though but that's a good man I don't know I don't I don't have I don't have enough fact all that's be clear we don't know their household a going to speak we don't know personal [ __ ] you don't know just because she was a little bit more powerful than him how he could have been bringing her down her and her confidence and she was trying to basically submit to him in any way she can to make the marriage work know that but she chose to choose herself in that situation she's a home no she's not a home wer of all she probably bought that home that's be clear cuz she's still living there um and I'm pretty sure it was off his income because she in me they should give it to him because she said I'm going to get a divorce and put my children in a position where they're statistically less likely to be successful but there's also another perspective there in just that specific case no no I was raised by a single mother no no I'm statistically I should not have done as well as I have in life so I will not allow that that's every rule just because you came out great doesn't mean that every child that would go through you think theid about well my only point my only point to that point was there's also studies show that like sticking around for the kid still might not be the good choice because sounds depressing in a sense where no you still don't have a good intimate relationship so your kid grows up seeing dysfunction between to y'all not talking not showing intimacy so I mean it's it's two just twofold I don't think that staying just for the kid might be a might be a better option what are what are your terms for divorce though what do you think that there are any reasons to divorce um well for one here's the thing you make a commitment now you can make bad decisions cuz some people do and right it's like is there any reason like it's hard for me because in my belief I'm like well if I made the right decision I made the right decision so I got to stick to what I do did right so divorce shouldn't be an option but in those cases where you you um have it as an option I think it should just be a used option especially if you have kids because I think that what you grow up to show your kids is you know they're going to see you and emulate you so the way you treat each other because you have this disconnect they're going to think that that's what the normal relationships look like and they're going to try to emulate that in their life and you're going to do a diservice to your own kids that way so I do think that like in the grand scheme of it if you do have kids you got to think about you know above yourself right if you don't have kids do what you want you know what I mean I think go your happiness I'm saying it's an easier decision to say okay well if it really don't if I made a bad choice I really wasn't looking and I made a I didn't have and I missed Flags okay you know I would hate to do it but well you contradicted your point you said that it's not always healthy for you to stay in it for the kids but then you said if you have kids you should stay in it for their no no no no no no no I was saying if you don't have kids you do you do you want but if you have kids like and you guys are working out you shouldn't you should sep you should divorce now I think you should not stay there if you're if if if you're going to not work the relationship what are the terms of that is it is it what are the terms of divorce what do you mean like when you say the vows for better for worse for death do but what are what are the terms I don't think a lot of people I mean we make a commitment what I'm saying if you get to a point where like you literally cannot live in the same house as that person because you guys are just at that point you I can't control what she does if my girl just changes overnight I don't have nothing to do with that and if it gets to a point where it's unbearable and unlovable with I got to make a decision because what's going to happen if we do have kids is that they're going to see that reaction to all our disconnects and I'm only going to do a disservice to them so I have to decide whether or not like you know me sticking out with them is valuable for the child you know which it probably wouldn't be you know so then at that point it's like all right then you got to break your principles and make the divorce happen because it's bigger than you at that point in my in my perspective but if you don't have the you get to that trick area when you have kids because you got to it's it's a bigger it's a bigger purpose now because it's not just you you're thinking about you know so you got to be really careful in that in that situation um although you made the commitment to stick it through through sickness and health and all the other words no but you know who are you I mean I think we're a combination of our our choices and principles and so if you stand on that it's like I do stand on that I said the words right so it's tough I know what your point is it's tough cuz you said it you said those words so regardless of the situ you better work it out right because otherwise then yours don't mean much but then again I can't control the person men don't really leave though that's the thing is like yeah but maybe yall should I agree um cuz I do feel like and I will say this and I think this is known I feel like men do settle too also yeah I think men definitely settle like they get like some people don't want me settle more because we don't have no choice you know we get what we can get you know we we don't got to pick it the litter y'all got to pick at the litter y'all born with that that superpower that's I mean which is true because in the sense of you don't like men come to you for most women most of the time you get the attention right I have to go be the person to seek attention so I have a lot more work to do but I also feel like it's a little bit easier for men to also like get women based on like their status in life statistically 50% of men ain't even checking for us no more well the the thing is men you talking about black women % of men5 what you're looking for we we already know what to be what are we looking for we know what you're looking for but we know the the symbols of what you're looking for money orgasms now that you now that you brought that up

Channel: MoreThanMuscle

Views: 5,584

Keywords: Podcast, Relationships, Dating, No fugazee podcast, Fresh and fit, Modern woman, Modern women, Relationship goals, Relationship advice, Dating advice, Manosphere, Relationship tips, Red pill, Black pill, Zherka, dating tips, marriage advice, marriage tips, marriage, black podcast, relationship podcast, dating podcast

Id: gkk-_FC6t7Q

Length: 27min 46sec (1666 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 28 2024