Mature - Ephesians | Jennifer Toledo | Expression58

well we are in the middle of a series here in the book of ephesians and i want to encourage you today to take notes you're going to need it okay because we're talking about maturity uh ephesians chapter four um just to catch up really quick um the book of ephesians is a letter written by the apostle paul to the church in ephesus the first three chapters which we've already talked about um are really doctrinal the next three that we're going into are very life application very practical so the first three paul is really addressing big theological issues like the fact that you are adopted into god's family right that we're empowered through his love that we're citizens of the kingdom really powerful things and um and so the next three chapters are very much since that's true since you're adopted in the kingdom since your royalty since you're empowered now here's how you should live here's how you live out that great and holy calling on your life and it gets really practical real gritty um this chapter is real gritty i mean i warned you last week remember if you were here i said get your life right before next sunday because you're going to get convicted like it's paul begins to break down the practicals of what spiritual maturity looks like and it's just it's really good and so we're gonna we're gonna dive in i'd like to encourage you to take notes and we'll have scriptures for you on the screen all right we're going to start at the top of ephesians chapter 4. as a prisoner for the lord then i urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you've received be completely humble and gentle i mean we could just stop there right i mean not even like a little humble and a little gentle be completely humble completely gentle be patient bearing with one another in love make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace there's one body and one spirit just as you were called to one hope when you are called one lord one faith one baptism one god and father of all who is over all and through all and in all but to each one of us grace has been given as christ apportioned it this is why it said when he ascended on on high he took many captives and gave gifts to his people what does he ascended mean except that he also descended to the lower earthly regions he who descended as the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens in order to fill the whole universe so christ gave the apostles the prophets the evangelists the pastors and the teachers to equip his people for works of service so the body of christ may be built up until we all reach what unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the son of god and become mature attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of christ then we will no longer be infants tossed back and forth by the waves and blown here and there blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful seeming scheming we're going to pause there for a moment paul is giving this picture to the church and he's saying because you have such a high and holy calling because you are our royalty because you have been adopted because you are empowered because you lack nothing in the kingdom because you are chosen by god therefore live a life that represents him well because you are his ambassador live a life that actually reflects him well to the world around you right and so there's this challenge and we hear in this passage this call to be mature this call to spiritual maturity right that we're not called to be tossed back and forth you know eternally a slave to our emotions and our circumstances that we're not you know called to be hot one day and called the next and then he goes into this this challenge that's why i've given apostles and prophets and pastors and teachers why not to make you feel good but to challenge you and mature you so that together we can all be mature so actually spiritual leadership in our life should be challenging you not just stroking you and being like they're there right like true when we're all walking in our giftings it's to build each other up it's to mature us so that we can we can reflect christ well to the world around us maturity matters maturity matters um the bible goes on to describe you know new believers as feeding on milk and challenges us to not stay spiritual babies but mature into spiritual adults right so that we can reflect christ to the world you know if you've watched the progression in in a child a niece a nephew your own child you know i remember josiah our middle one if you know his personality this completely fits his personality but he wasn't interested in doing anything unless he could do it well and so he wasn't interested in crawling until he could crawl well and um and so he started crawling maybe a week before he started running um but when he first started crawling the first time he just could only move backwards so he had to move all around the house backwards you know like that was his he only could go one way and uh and then watching this baby who trying to figure out crawling all of a sudden to try to figure out how to walk how to run and then now i mean this kid is highly athletic and does these crazy i don't even know what he's going to break your ankles he's going to dunk on you i don't know what he's gonna do he's gonna do all the things right and you look at that and you're like wow same baby that could couldn't even figure out how to crawl straight can now you know physicality wise you know out physical any of us right like and um it's about maturing it's about maturing and i wonder how often in our lives our spiritual lives we're still just crawling backwards we're just still crawling we're still toddling bumping into things always gashing our face open because there's a coffee table like i wonder how often we get stuck in some of those places spiritually and actually you read the bible and you're like people are out here dunking on the enemy's face and i'm over here like you know i feel like that many times but here's the invitation you are called to be a wild champion athlete in the in the kingdom in the spirit and you are called to have agility and you are called to to do wild things right but it takes maturity we have to move past the crawling and the toddling we have to train our bodies nobody becomes mature by just sitting around long enough i've met a lot of really immature old people right you don't become mature by just sitting around it's a process of training training all right hebrews 6 1. let us stop going over the same old ground again and again always teaching those first lessons about christ let us go on instead to other things and become mature in our understanding as strong christians ought to be we ought to be mature right so god's plan is for us to move beyond the elementary teachings and grow into the image of christ and that really is what spiritual maturity is that all of our characteristics begin to look like christ that we would approach dating like christ would that we would approach hard conversations like christ would that we would approach you know hard days like christ would whatever it is fill in the blanks like that we would would begin to to act like our rabbi that we're modeling our lives after it's time to move it's time to move into solid food right it's time to step into maturity because it really does take maturity if we're going to lead our own lives well or lead our family well or we're going to disciple others or we're going to not give up when it gets hard or we're going to make it through a pandemic without picking up some addictions or bitterness it takes maturity right to do the things we want to do the prophecies you've had over your life it's going to take maturity to get it done maturity is gonna be required it's the gas in the car to get that thing done right it takes maturity um to navigate hard social and political and relational issues it takes maturity it takes maturity to not believe everything you read it takes maturity to hold tensions and understands that most issues are far more complex than we'd like to argue them to be it takes maturity to not get offended and bitter it takes maturity to not just always point out the wrong in your friends and your family and your boss in your you know in the church in the world it takes maturity you see the reality is we were never called to remain the same person it's not like you get your stamp to your ticket to heaven keep living your life we're called to be transformed glory to glory to become more like christ it's this invitation to to what's next move forward to continue to evolve and grow and morph the reality is that when the holy spirit's at work in our life there is real fruit not like oh one time i grew a piece of fruit i hope it's gonna last forever like continual fruit try growing something new cool you got cherries down grow yourself a strawberry like something new in your life right maturity this is the invitation this is the expectation maturity is both required and expected of us if we're going to really live a life worthy of the calling we've received you see the stakes are too high the your call is too great the lives of those around us too precious for us to waste time not growing and becoming mature here's the reality wherever there is immaturity there is always always pain and loss always i mean think about your own life think about the times where your own immaturity cause pain and loss in your life right we've all experienced it now can you imagine if we never move past that the world is too precious for us to not mature so many people are continually hurt by an immature bride and this is not this oh well i guess i better you know this is an invitation for all of us to get on the path of like okay maturity is the invitation and i need it because you know what my life the call of my life is too valuable and i love people too much for me to sit here and just be content with my immaturity right and so it's this invitation to to grow and evolve and into to morph and to improve and really if we're going to do that we have to be learners we have to be open to changing our mind right it should literally be a quality that defines you if somebody says oh my gosh she's so set in her ways that is a big insult to you christians should not be set in their ways we're going we are on a continual journey we are glory to glory that means i can be influenced that means i change my mind often that's good that's actually a sign of maturity right not i just dig my heels in i'm set in my ways i'm just walking to every conversation to argue my point and try to defend my position no i approach everything in life as a learner with humility why because i'm going after maturity it means i'm i'm in the posture of a student of a learner of a grower right um let us live lives worthy of the calling we've received and here's the beautiful thing even though we've all experienced the pain that immaturity can bring in our life when you think about maturity if you have maybe a weird view of it you're like oh that sounds like really boring rigid religious yeah robot straight and narrow you know if that's your image of maturity like break up with that because here's the reality maturity is actually the most free way you can live it's real freedom because when you're mature you're no longer controlled by other people that means you're having a bad day guess what you're not powerful enough to ruin my day you're not powerful enough to steal my peace and my joy that means i am not a victim to every mood in every circumstance and every jerk up on facebook i'm not a victim because when you're mature it brings so much joy it brings so much peace it brings so much health in your life trust me the fruit of maturity is very sweet to the taste you sleep better at night your relationships are better not that hard things don't happen but maturity helps you navigate them with so much more grace and peace right so we we want to eat the fruit of maturity in our life all right so that's the whole first half there of the ephesians 4 it's kind of the why of maturity why because you have this great you know calling on your life the next half gets into the real practicals and we don't have time to go through all but we're going to go through a good chunk of it though because paul begins to identify what i call our ten markers of maturity we're going to go verse by verse over through this and you'll begin to see that there's there's ten things these aren't all inclusive there's many more but these are ten things paul highlights to the church saying here's signs of what maturity looks like okay and so we're going to kind of walk through those we're going to start in verse 15. it says instead instead of being immature speaking the truth in love we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head that is christ from him the whole body joined and held together by every supporting ligament grows and builds itself up in love as each part does its work so the first thing we see here the first marker of maturity is speak the truth in love mature people spiritually mature people have learned to speak the truth in love notice the marriage of truth and love is considered maturity the lack of speaking truth in love is actually identified as immature it doesn't matter if you're right it doesn't matter if you're right if you're not loving you still got it wrong right um when we think about this i think this is so vital because this isn't just hey speak truth with a loving tone no it's speak truth in love meaning you actually have to get to a place of love in your heart you actually have to love the people you're talking about you actually have to love and care for the people you have to actually really care not just you know oh i'm gonna say this nice when am i one of my children one of their favorite things to say is no offense but get ready because you will be offended every time i don't mean to be rude but you're like oh great you know no i'm not just saying framing it in a nice way i'm saying maturity looks like if you're gonna speak into something you better have love in your heart which is why we build off of what we talked about last week right you don't have authority where you don't have love and so this is so this is a huge part of maturity is getting your heart to a place where you truly love people because it's one thing to say oh we love fill in the blank people that are different than us oh we love refugees oh we love gay people oh we love fill in the blank but then we go to your facebook page and i don't know i get a different i get a different vibe listen if you're already having a hard time we're only on number one to ten y'all get ready i think it's important to think about about truth like this right um did you guys ever have like i don't know if you ever got it in like your box of i don't know sugar cereal you're at your friend's house certainly not your own house if your if your family was like mine but where you got like spyglasses and to see the secret message you had to wear the spyglasses so cool right nobody else could see the secret message but if you put the spyglasses on you could read it this is how we should think about truth and love that truth was written in the context of love truth was written in the context of love truth was birthed in the context of love and truth is always meant to be communicated from the context of love and if you don't have love you can't see the truth properly you basically take what's meant to be healing and life-giving and you turn it into a weapon to hurt people so love is like that lens everything in scripture how we approach people should always be through the lens of love love is you know truth is never meant to shame or to hurt it's always meant to build up into love so so love and truth have to be married together number two we're going to go into verse 17. number two is live different verse 17 says so i tell you this and insist on it in the lord that you must no longer live as the gentiles do and the futility of their thinking they're darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of god because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts having lost all sensitivity they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity and they are full of greed that however is not the way of life you learned when you heard about christ you were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in jesus paul begins to identify this second marker here spiritually mature people live different your life is not meant to look like everybody else's your values aren't meant to look like everybody else's it says here that that hearts are hardened and when hearts get hardened they they lack the sensitivity to the things that grieve god but spiritual maturity says you know what i'm going to work to keep my heart tender i'm going to care about what god cares about i'm going to let the holy spirit convict me and i'm going to live differently because spiritual maturity says i'm willing to stand on a limb i'm willing to not fit in i'm willing to do it god's way even if it costs me spiritual maturity doesn't look like just trying to get high fives from everybody spiritual maturity is looking to heaven saying i'm looking for the well done good and faithful servant our lives are not meant to look like everybody else's right in your school in your industry in your peer group we're thinking about things like will this choice honor god not will this get me ahead or will this whatever right that other people are thinking where our lives are oriented completely differently now once again this isn't an invitation to go live in some christian bubble and be a weirdo i'm not saying that because there's a lot of i could balance this out scripturally where we're told move into the city right go plant gardens get involved in the community this isn't go live in your little holy bubble somewhere with all your little holy friends and just you know not interact with the world that's not what this is saying you can live and thrive in the world but not be of it right but be different and so that's what we have to that's the invitation here spiritual maturity says i'm prepared to live different number three number three is break up with my own way of doing things ready verse 22 you were taught with regard to your former way of life to put off your old self which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires put off yourself put off your old self cast off break up with let go of you know in a time and culture where the world says find yourself be true to yourself live your truth and although i appreciate the sentiment in that scripture gives us actually a really different invitation it's die to yourself and live to christ it's not speak your truth it's speak his truth right and i understand the sentiment or where people are going with that so hear my heart in that but it's easy to get caught up in this i got to go find myself no we have to die to ourselves so that we can find ourselves in christ right and so there's a biblical invitation here and if we're going to really be mature in christ we first have to break up with our own way of doing things so spiritually mature people understand that they bring to the table their own biases their own opinions their own culture their own ways of doing things and instead of just digging their heels in which we talked about it's a surrendering of those things to the lord saying god i am willing and i'm inviting you to completely rework everything in me any mindset i have that's not right god heal it change it deliver me right it's it's a posture of putting off the old self which is selfish which has self at the center of it and we have to recognize that our hearts will deceive us right so often we think we know what's best for ourselves i know if you've ever experienced this you are convinced you know how something should end in your life and then if you're like me you kick and scream as you surrender to god because you're sure he's gonna make a mess and then he does way better than what you were ever thinking could have happened right so it takes spiritual maturity and you know to get to spiritual maturity we have to first break up with our own way of doing things mature people once again recognize that they have bias agenda wrong way wrong ways of thinking and they're intentional about confronting those things and casting them off immature people just assume they're right immature people focus on what they think other people should be casting off right immature people are real vocal about what other people need to cast off in their life but mature people understand they don't have to be convinced they understand i do have bias i do have selfish agenda i am a jerk many times i understand that mature people bring that to the equation and they say help me god help this to not get in the way i want to cast this off see mature people aren't perfect they're just more self-aware and more surrendered right spiritual maturity looks like breaking up with your own way of doing things number four embrace new mindsets and behaviors so back to verse 22 it says you were taught with regard your former way of life put off your old self right and then it goes on and verse 23 says to be made new in the attitude of your minds and to put on the new self created to be like god in true righteousness and holiness the holy spirit wants to make new how you think how you see the world how you view people politics values the holy spirit wants to transform how you think your attitude your opinions your mindsets your behaviors are we letting him make new or do we just assume we're already right right because once again being set in your views and ways is a big sign of immaturity um mature people understand that god's way of living god's way of doing things is always better in fact a big sign of immaturity is assuming that god shares your opinions y'all we out here doing this like it's our full-time job we are so convinced god shares our opinions that is one of the biggest signs of immaturity right because it takes spiritual maturity to understand god's ways are not my ways and i am growing and changing and morphing and it's humility is 100 required for me to ever even become mature right and so it's this concept of embracing new mindsets in in behavior so spiritually mature people are learners they're growers they're adjusters i've already said this but they can be influenced and convinced of new things they change their mind they enter a room or a conversation seeking to learn not to defend or convince mature people will often talk about the new thing they're learning what they're reading about what they're what they're seeking to grow in where they're you know working on change in their life these remarks of maturity you know going through religious motions or using relig religious language but not really being right with god and others is a big sign of immaturity caring about some sins over the ones in your own life is a big sign of immaturity it's so much easier right to think somebody else's sin is so much worse than ours something i say often and i'm a huge believer in everybody gets to evolve everybody gets to evolve it is unfair because i don't want to be held to a standard of who i was five years ago or who i was 10 years ago and so we have to extend the same grace to everybody else everybody gets to evolve we can't say oh well i i know how you are because that was how they were a decade ago that's super unfair right and so spiritual maturity has this perspective of i'm evolving you're evolving that is literally what we're doing as we're following jesus so there's grace and space and a culture that says we're all evolving because we're all embracing new mindsets and behaviors here's the good news you can learn new behaviors you can you can learn to do things you have not been able to do through god you can do it some of us maybe we feel powerless we feel stuck i will always be like this i will always respond like this the reality is you can learn new behaviors we have this conversation often with one of our children who is 100 convinced that it is impossible to not be rude when you're angry and um had this conversation many times you can learn new behaviors right you can learn new things mind-blowing through the power of the holy spirit we can all learn new things that feel impossible to us right now something we talk a lot about here is training over trying where it's not i'm just gonna try to do better it's i'm gonna train to do better training so maybe it's just one step today it's i'm gonna do what i can today to grow that area in my life so that eventually i can do what i can't do today right nobody runs a marathon just because they decide they want to run a marathon you have to train we have to train ourselves to live to become mature all right number five refuse hypocrisy and half truths listen if the apostle paul hadn't gone for the juggler here he here he is he came out took the gloves off right here 25 verse 25 says therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthful truthfully to your neighbor for we are all members of one body put off falsehood this word falsehood that's used means the absence of truth or accuracy it's this picture of putting off half truths and hypocrisy in your life spiritually mature people don't engage and are interested in in half truths they work hard to make sure there's not hypocrisy in their life right what comes out of your mouth matters let's take it a step further what you post online matters the ideas you spread matter the bible has a lot to say about speaking falsehoods in fact thou shall not lie right one of the ten commandments like it made the stone tablet like it's a big deal proverbs 6 16 says there are six things that the lord hates seven there are that are an um abomination to him haughty eyes a lying tongue hands that shed innocent blood a heart that devises wicked plans feek that feet that make haste to run to evil a false witness who breathes out lies and one who sows discord among brothers two of the seven y'all are about speaking falsehoods of the things god hates he's not like guys because you need to kind of stop he's like i hate it and then he's like guess what if you do it you're partnering with the father of lies himself satan is your father like i mean he's he's not playing games here right lying is satan's native language i mean he's going for it you know this idea and we're seeing this so much in our culture right now the ideas that we spread matter you know i thought a lot about this will we be held accountable for falsehoods we've spread and you know because it's obviously a massive epidemic in our society of so much misinformation and i know it's so confusing and people are like i don't know what to believe and um but i i i often thought for my own self just standing before the lord i don't know granted i've never had to stand before him on judgment day so i don't know how this is going to play out i just don't know how well my argument of i just i didn't know it's going to hold up i don't know and he's going to i don't know if his response is gonna be like wait hold on let me check the records what era did you live in oh 2021 like you had libraries and the internet and you could have actually done some research and you didn't you just decided to share it blow up people's lives you were just too lazy to even think about vetting out what your ideas you're sharing i mean i don't know guys i'm just saying two out of seven it's a big deal it's a big deal i think god cares about it more than we do oh lord um we're children of truth we're children of truth and maturity longs for truth maturity wants no part in falsehoods right so we can't get caught up in the hurricane of falsehoods that exist everywhere in our culture how are we going to do that means we have to to go into scenarios right understanding that there's always more sides to the story than what i'm hearing mature spiritually mature people can hold tensions many times a big sign of immaturity is you want an absolute they're bad and they're good really this is the right thing and it's like most issues are just not that black and white it takes a lot of maturity to hold the tensions and it's uncomfortable because you don't have a clear answer and it doesn't make for a cute meme on social media right it takes a lot of maturity it means we have to be hyper diligent right to avoid um any and all bandwagoning and understanding that there's like every second of the day there is a bandwagon somebody would love for you to jump on it takes great spiritual maturity to be like not doing it boy you really got me there i almost jumped on your bandwagon you got my emotions pumping but you know what there's probably more to the story and i am accountable to god for what comes out of my mouth and it's hard for me to give an account for how i love my neighbor when i'm not believing the best in them and so it's not worth it right and so we have to do better if you you know really convinced that one group is innocent and one group is guilty it's best just to assume that there's you know so many layers and to keep your mouth shut about it all together hypocrisy is also a form of falsehood and here's reality hypocrisy is everywhere it is everywhere in our culture we obviously see see it when people engage with politics right you're mad if republicans do something but you excuse it if democrats do it or you assume trump's motive is good but but assume biden's motive is evil hypocrisy we want to hold others to a righteous standard but when somebody confronts us about our own behavior we mock them as religious police and tell them to stop being so religious and annoying i heard a nervous laugh hypocrisy right or or you told everybody because we we see you on social media you told everybody to not be afraid of the virus and the lord has not given us a spirit of fear rip that mask off and then now i go to your page and you are the captain of the fear team for the vaccine it's hypocrisy now i don't want to i don't want to talk about the world's hypocrisy because good lord but i do want to take a moment and for us how do we navigate spiritual maturity in these times we're in church and i want to encourage you it is so vital the world is so longing to see mature believers and if we're gonna really walk in maturity we have to figure out how to cast off and break up with and stop being so you know biting the bait of falsehoods in our lives can i give you an example they say please now but i've been really thinking about this and and i want you to hear my heart in this i'm coming to you as as a pastor as a sister this morning because i realize i'm gonna step into some real tender area and i'm not trying to and i'm gonna talk about vaccines from it i'm not gonna give you so just relax i'm not gonna tell you what to do i'm not going to tell you my opinion i'm not but i do want to identify something that is concerning to me in regards to hypocrisy okay can you ex thank you lauren can you eat can we extend some grace for a moment to have a conversation okay because here's the reality we can talk about this all day long if we don't flesh this out in our daily lives because we have to flesh this out one of the biggest things i hear from people the biggest complaints and it's even you know all the studies have shown that the the world thinks of christians as hypocrites that were hypocritical and so i want to help us mature in our how we're having conversations about hard topics how we're navigating things not so that we can all agree we're never going to agree but so that we can make sure we're handling and having these conversations with integrity so we can make sure that we're not being hypocritical okay so i want to give you an example of something an argument that's a little concerning to me i have been concerned granted i'm using this example because it's all over my social media right now i've heard several christians we're talking about christians right i've heard several christians use this argument in thoughts about vaccines my body my choice right medical freedom so here's what's concerning to me about that first of all we know where that comes from um that's literally like the tagline for for pro-choice um here's what's concerning though because what the church has responded when that line was used in regards to abortion the church's response to the world was it is your body and your choice until your choices inflict harm or put somebody else at risk that was our response that is what we told the world loud and proud it is your body and your choice until your choice hurts somebody else then it's no longer your choice that is what we've said so what's concerning to me about that statement when having this conversation because we need to flesh this out we got to figure this out it is a crazy time in our society but what concerns me is when people make that statement what feels hypocritical is not giving regard to the person on the other side of that who says but if you don't get vaccinated you're putting me at risk we're not addressing that right now we can sit here all day long and argue of whether that's true that's not where i'm going with that but i'm just saying for people on the other end they're feeling like hey i thought you said your our choices only mattered until we you know put other people at risk but if you don't get vaccinated then it's you know we're not getting hurt immunity therefore you know my kids aren't in school and my you know medically fragile you know whoever in my house and my business is struggling and the longer we don't get hurt immunity then then the longer you know this vaccine morphs and i'm hurting so i'm not saying that's a bad argument what i'm saying though is if you're going to make that argument do it with integrity if you're going to make that argument don't be hypocritical work it all the way through right so what's an example of working that all the way through well i have yet to hear and granted i'm sure they're out there i have not heard one person that's made that argument ever address what they plan to do to keep other people safe i i don't think there's anything wrong with that choice or that argument but i think it builds a stronger argument and it feels like more integrity if you then address the steps i'm willing to take to make to protect my neighbor to love my neighbor right because you can't you can't make that argument and also say no you can but it comes across as hypocritical hear me and if you're like i don't agree with you go ask 20 000 people outside they'll tell you this because that's the i hear this all the time from people right this is their beef with christians that don't recognize how hypocritical they are and you know maybe thinking through like hey how can i you know protect this person because i can't say i want my freedom but i also don't want to marry a mask and i also want to be able to go anywhere i want to go all the things so ha i'm not once again think about how you can have your conversations with more integrity now if that's not your argument or your conversation guess what you're not off the hook because you had 99.99 chance you have even worse hypocrisy in your own life and in your own arguments we all do and it's not many times i think so often we think about hypocrisy we think you know i say don't smoke but i go home and smoke that we think about it like that and it's so often just so embedded into our everyday it's not these glaring things we all have hypocrisy many times we think we say things or or we you know get behind something and we haven't really thought through how to make sure that that this argument has integrity all the way through so once again it's not about where you land or what your argument is whatever it is just have a better one right wherever you land on whatever issue just make sure it's integrity all the way through that we don't change it when it's uncomfortable for us does that make sense we okay maturity understands that satan is roaming around like a lion looking to devour us with half truths and hypocritical thinking so mature people are constantly on guard they're not quick to make judgments they choose to believe the best right loving people is the best way to inoculate inoculate yourself from believing lies about them i would rather err on the side of believing the best than err on the side of assuming the worst even with people who disagree with me and maturity looks like being willing to be held accountable for your words and your actions maturity also looks like valuing excellent research and expert opinions and honest communication and and listening more than speaking that's maturity because we have we can't have nothing to do with falsehoods you guys our culture is dripping in falsehoods i love how eleanor roosevelt said it she said a mature person is one who does not think only in absolutes who is able to be objective even when deeply stirred emotionally who has learned that there is both good and bad in all people and in all things and who walks humbly and deals charitably with the circumstances of life knowing that in this world no one is all-knowing and therefore all of us need both love and charity all right number six i'm going to speed up because y'all number six exercise exercise self-control verse 26 in your anger do not sin do not let the sun go down while you're still angry and do not give the devil a foothold maturity looks like self-control how you act when you're mad matters how you act when you're hungry matters how you act when you're not getting your way matters how you act when you're tired matters self-control is the fruit of the holy spirit it's work in our lives maturity looks like refusing to let circumstances or emotions dictate how you act self-control matters self-control is a byproduct of being in relationship with god and then the second part says not the sun go down while you're still angry and what this saying because sometimes y'all sometimes you just need to go to bed you're going to be way better tomorrow like sometimes you just need a nap right like give yourself a sandwich and a nap you're going to be fine but but what this is what this is going after is don't let things go unresolved don't sweep it under the rug don't avoid the hard conversation right don't don't like stir on something and simmer with something don't let anger just start stirring in your heart confront deal with it have the hard conversations be quick to to mend relationship don't keep score in your heart right grow up and deal with it that's what he's saying basically number seven seventh marker of maturity own my mistakes and work to make them right verse 28 anyone who's been stealing must still no longer but must work doing something useful with their own hands that they may have something to share with those in need i love this maturity looks like owning your mistakes and working to make them right right saying sorry isn't enough that's what immature people do sorry maturity says i am really sorry i hurt you how can i make it right i'm gonna work to make it right i'm not just gonna use my words i'm not just gonna demand that you just move on i'm gonna i'm gonna invest time energy effort to make this right i want you to feel safe with me i want you to trust my word whatever it is right we work to make it right that's what maturity looks like it's ownership you know i remember little things when our when our kids were little if you've had toddlers you understand this you'd go to a restaurant you put your baby in the chair and then you'd be mortified at the end of the meal because literally you've destroyed their entire restaurant there's like food everywhere probably like fecal matter i don't even know but you're like looking under the table like oh my god i'm so embarrassed and so often we would get up and be people be like good lord you know like we're that family we're like we always have a lot of kids you know it's just like everywhere and so i used to wish to do little things like they would never do it but it just literally changed the vibe before we'd leave be like i'm so sorry oh my gosh our kids made such a mess you might bring out a broom so i could just clean this for you i do not want to leave this for you like oh my gosh you're so sweet and all of a sudden they love you because you're willing to own your mess i feel like that's so true in life like it doesn't even take a lot but if you're willing to really own it and do your part you get such a different response from people working to make it right you know thinking about where are the areas maybe that you've shortchanged people shortchanged god shortchanged your boss maybe we've you know spoken negatively and kind of sucked the unity out of the room or maybe we've not really worked our best in the hours we clocked in or maybe we've been disengaged and stingy with the poor in our community what does it look like to stop and then to become a life giver in that area it's not just stop doing it it's what does it look like to become a champion in that area what does it look like to become a leader in that area because it doesn't say in this scripture for the thief to stop just stop stealing it says begin to use your hands so you have something to give to the poor so what does it look like in our own life spiritual maturity looks like hey these are the areas i currently have weakness in i'm a bit of a gossiper i'm going to become the most like life-giving speaker in the room i'm gonna train myself to speak positive things about everybody right as one of my fitness instructors says i love it she says don't set goals set standards don't just set a goal for yourself set a standard i will honor people i will be where i say i'm going to be set the standards right mature people aren't looking for quick fixes but they're committed to the long haul number eight only speak what's helpful and encouraging y'all whoo verse 29 do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen don't let any unwholesome that word unwholesome is characterized by health or well-being emotionally mentally spiritually is it healthy and helpful if not don't say it right i mean this is so convicting it says make sure it's helpful for the one hearing it that it meets their needs not yours so often we go into a conversation trying to meet our own needs i want you to hear this versus asking god what does this person need to hear right so we speak what is wholesome what is life-giving to build people up it should build and benefit them and their needs not ours are we complaining or are we encouraging are we pointing out flaws that we don't like about our company or our church or our friend group are we the person in the room who's calling everybody higher and so often i hear people say well i'm entitled to my opinion and i want to encourage you and remind you that you and your opinion were crucified with christ right we're so entitled but everything my flesh it was pick up the cross and follow him the world doesn't need my opinion they need gods there is an opinion war everywhere you go and we get sucked right into it the world doesn't need our opinion they need gods right we have to be people who speak what's helpful and encouraging mature people walk in a room or they get on social media with the goal of releasing life and hope peace they add to a room they don't subtract from it they choose their words carefully mature people are the kind of people you want to be around you want them to be assigned to be in your group for the project mature people are the kind of people you want to call when you're having a bad day because they're not negative or suspicious or always pointing out faults of the church of the government of the friend group of whoever y'all we've got to be mature right they're life-givers god help us number nine don't grieve god with an ugly attitude verse 30 i told you paul's just going for it verse 30 and do not grave the holy spirit of god with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption get rid of all bitterness rage and anger brawling and slander along with every form of malice let me read it to you in another translation it says lay aside bitter words temper tantrums revenge profanity and insults wow do not grieve the holy spirit by having an adult temper tantrum do not grieve the holy spirit by being petty and wanting revenge do not grieve the holy spirit by being bitter and cynical and angry and rude by insulting i'm not going to go into a lot of this because here's some good news as soon as we're done with ephesians we're going to begin a new series here called new and free and we're going to take i don't know four to six weeks somewhere in there and we are going to be talking about really diving into emotional mental health we're going to be talk learning tools for recovery how to break cycles how to break addiction how to address anxiety we're going to go after healing y'all it has been a year and a half that we have all been through and we need some tools okay so we're gonna we're gonna get into a lot of this because how do i how do i get rid of bitterness how do i get rid of of rage i don't know how to do that and we're gonna we're gonna give some tools and some resources because there's a lot you can do obviously the holy spirit's a great place to start but thankfully we god has empowered so many incredible resources and and opportunities for us to to get help in these areas okay and so um you know just really quickly how am i going to get rid of anger well there's therapy there's you can get some inner healing you can start to confront the lies you're believing about yourself you can adjust your schedule so that you're not going so hard so you have time to to refresh with god and get alone with god so then you're not so angry all day right you can honor boundaries in your life so that you're not angry all the time there's some practical things um how do i get rid of fighting and slander what refused to participate in it you know something that we've adopted in our life is you know you go to have a conversation with somebody and they're like and then just a simple saying is hey i really want to have this conversation with you when you're ready to be calm and respectful i walk out of the room because i'm not going to engage right because if we engage it's going to get ugly gloves are coming off right so refusing to to participate in dysfunctional behavior so there's a lot we're gonna we're gonna get into that um but this is a big challenge to us don't grieve god with an ugly attitude number 10 commit to being kind and compassionate even when people don't deserve it verse 32 be kind and compassionate to one another one another forgiving each other just as in christ god forgave you spiritual maturity to be spiritually mature means you have to become a professional forgiver period like a professional forgiver hold yourself to that standard right i've been forgiven of much i can't afford to not forgive others and being kind and compassionate doesn't mean you have to to be friends with dysfunctional people or people who have hurt you doesn't mean you have to rebuild a relationship and be besties again no but other people don't get to dictate who you are i am going to walk in kindness and compassion no matter what's happening with you right doesn't mean i'm going to be a doormat it doesn't mean that that i have to just keep doing what you say but the posture of my heart is going to be forgiveness towards you it's going to be kindness it's going to be compassion because i'm going to love you i'm going to choose to love you and i'm going to ask god to help me love you every day right commit to being kind and compassionate when people don't deserve it especially when they don't deserve it mature people can rise above how other people are acting and live out of their values and their standards regardless of the circumstances all right we're going to put all 10 of these up here case you didn't get them 10 markers of maturity speak the truth in love live different break up with my own way of doing things embrace new mindsets and behaviors refuse hypocrisy and have truths exercise self-control own my mistakes and work to make them right only speak what's helpful and encouraging don't grieve god with an ugly attitude and commit to being kind and compassion even when people don't deserve it why you can come up here dan thanks why because we're royalty we carry the kingdom of god inside of us and the call is too great for us to not live this out well why be toddling when you can be dunking right i want to end with this will you put up the how do i mature spiritually slide i want you to take a picture of this or take notes of this so we we hear the why the calling behind it we we hear some of the markers of what spiritual maturity looks like well how do i get there how do i work that out in my life because it's hard this is how you do it right here i want you to chew on this this week with the lord but there's four things that you can do to begin to work into your life that will grow maturity in you okay number one spend time with god i know that sounds very cliche it's literally how are you going to become like somebody you don't spend time with when you're in worship i don't know about you things get just fixed in my heart ugly stuff just gets worked out i begin to just be less you know stressed out and more at peace i get into worship and i be to look at him and i begin to come into alignment or in right it's in that place of prayer and communion with god that all of a sudden it's like i begin to be adjusted or when i'm in scripture right reading scripture i begin to see the invitation in the standard and i get convicted and i get invited into more so spending time with god how we will never become spiritually mature outside of connection to the holy spirit you guys it's impossible it's impossible the second thing is practice doing what the bible says which comes back to training i don't know about you but sometimes i think we have so much knowledge of the bible that we don't know how to do any of it and sometimes it's just better to pick one thing get up in the morning and be like okay i should prefer others okay today this is what i'm gonna do i'm gonna practice preferring others all day no you go in front of me like all day long i'm just gonna prefer others pick one thing and just begin to train and practice in it i think sometimes we have all this pressure to do all these things and so we end up doing nothing just start with one practice doing what the bible says and if you're not ready to do some of the bigger ones just start with the little ones right thou shall not murder i'm just gonna practice that today just gonna practice that train not try train okay number three invite input and accountability in your life we don't usually like this one but it's so important seek out a mentor seek out a pastor you know seek out some a group of friends that want to be you know in accountability with you invite input in your life most of us are so unaware of our own blind spots find people that love you and say how are you experiencing me are you experiencing me as somebody who has self-control are you experiencing me as somebody who doesn't speak falsehoods are you experiencing me as somebody who's kind and compassionate get some input in your life if you really want to mature if you really want to grow if you're like you know what i am tired of toddling around i know i was created for amazing things invite some input and accountability in your life and then number four invest in spiritual community life groups church serving once again this is not cliche if you put a baby in a room and told them to mature they wouldn't if you put a baby in a room with other babies and told them all to mature they wouldn't maturity happens in the context of community it happens in the context of family you see somebody who's who's doing better in that area than you are and you learn from them and when that baby you know a couple years down the road that baby becomes a big brother there's another layer of maturity when there's a baby in the room big brother gets defensive big brother steps up a little bit we need community we need family we need people that are more mature and less than mature spiritually than us we need to be doing this together you guys listen we have been so isolated we have been so isolated on so many levels you've been isolated because of the pandemic you've been isolated you know politically you've been isolated you know thinking churches are crazy i mean there's so many you've been isolated from your job you've been isolated from your family the culture is so icid and i'm telling you we have to run together we have to link together link together and we don't just grab the arms of people who think like us and vote like us and talk like us and look like us we link with the body of christ and all of its beautiful diversity you see it's through spiritual community or or even part of that is serving i feel like some of the biggest growth i've had in my life was when it's not about me and i have to i put myself in a position where i have to serve others right then you're you just you grow this is how we do it so we know the why we know some of the markers of what spiritual spiritual maturity looks like and we know how to do it and i want to encourage you we're in this together we are in this together we're all growing we're all maturing but let's be on the journey because the world is hurting the world is hurting and i feel like we're the church we're experiencing our own pain from our own lack of maturity in the big c church and it's a new day amen you

Channel: Expression 58

Views: 262

Rating: 5 out of 5

Keywords: shawn bolz, bolz, cherie bolz, expression 58, expression58, e58, church, los angeles church, revival, jen toledo, jennifer toledo, jona toledo, bolz ministries

Id: GTOutgUX34s

Length: 67min 9sec (4029 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 02 2021