Martin Short with Dick Cavett

that's so in you're not Jewish well do you know I might be anything and I learned that I have a German side of my grandparents family in the old country who was not spoken of a great deal now what does that make me 114th makes you a wasp Martin don't play the fool no no don't be silly an auskey that is I what an auskey I have three daytime ah skis yeah I never thought of this before but do you when you're on Broadway I was on Broadway a couple times but do you think always be about you yes I know anyway tell us mr. Cavett mr. no no that's your cat or yeah um do you think Tony when you're doing a show no I not um I see no I think that it's uh you know I won a Tony and it is the greatest thing you can win it really is it is of the awards I think so because it's the award that can't be created by someone else you know I mean you can be in a movie and literally be saved by a brilliant editor and be praised for it but in a stage show that's you up there and you can't fake it so I guess it's the ultimate actors award would you like to win two and three and four Tony's sure but I don't think you I think that if you you operate under that idea you're crazy and you're me this is very modest of him because I thought I was setting him up for something what in an interview you've long forgotten you said I really don't aspire that high I'm hoping for a daytime Tony I read you some more your stuff yeah not happy with the daytime any daytime Tony they'll give me all taken when I watch the Emmys it felt like this to me and now here are two presenters Tom Geisel and Irene family two people walked out and who the hell they were and the winner is Charlotte Frey Vern I didn't know who the hell she was right it's am I the only one if I just stopped watching nothing but The Sopranos do you do you do you well I think it is tricky you know I mean you know better than anyone from if you were on Johnny Carson in 1968 you know I'm sure that everyone would see you and you'd walk down the street the next day and they go hey dick you were great on Johnny Carson right now you can be on you know David Letterman for 20 minutes and there's a good chance your own wife didn't bother to tune in because there's 900 stations and 900 options and I think there's so many things to watch and then I you know I don't know but you I stopped watching television at one point you can select tell them you can create through TiVo your own way of watching am i you know the Marty short network which is my TiVo is has everything from you know a Dick Van Dyke Show to Bennett Cerf on what's my line this isn't that yes that's one down nine to go we go to Arlene Francis Hey thank you John you know that guy the late Fred Allen yeah then it's surface exactly wastebasket fred allen god I hope we don't have a disgusting audience of young folks here well it's that no I wouldn't even call it young Fred Allen died fifty-seven years ago are you no you could be getting your second retirement check and still never have heard of Fred Allen Fred Helens did yes boy I'm not getting the papers that no this you will agree this is funny Alan as you may know never really succeeded in television and had some awful shows and he was the wittiest man alive along with Groucho and or Discoverer and he hated Berle success and someone asked him this will be short someone asked him what he really thought of Berle and he said Milton is the morons Messiah yeah it's just fun to say when you were backstage just now I wondered if the minute you got here it didn't suddenly hit you could God I do eight shows a week expends the energy of ten people in it and never seems to be straining and working hard but do you know it has to take its toll and at what point today did you awaken and say why in the bloody hell did I give away my Sunday evening now certainly first of all I'm not coming out in the stage but certainly the drive here no no no this is this is a brilliant organization and and and it's for charity I'm happy to do it why would I want a free night where I might have a cocktail so I had the cocktail yeah yeah I'm sorry I was just watching this late comer can man we've been worried about you I think I stole that from Barry Humphries yeah that's okay I was gonna say another constant what you want you want to hear the Fred Allen story you missed oh yeah did you miss it Fred Allen died in 1956 in case you're under 70 ask your neighbor and the seat next to you to tell it to you where were we Oh another constant I notice in press that I grabbed up and read about you they always harp on one fact actor on several and one of them is he hasn't had enough problems in his life he's doing a show typically the people who do one-person shows on Broadway I have their alcoholism or their abortions or their other problems that they had before the show of course in those of the Gorder you don't have any huh no no order just anything yet that yeah well I think that no I haven't but you know we all have stories to tell but I think the question is at what point do we not expose our private world you know I never knew if Bob Hope was an abused child you know I didn't know if I cared and and I think that it became probably tied to reality television I can't believe it doesn't have some influence where it became mandatory that now we can't just see Bode Miller ski down the hill we have to know that he likes to party and or we have to know the background of everyone's private there has to be a sad video attached to it yeah and so I think that that that the certainly the tradition of and I think it's easier to be able to say you know I I was 24 and I lost my cousin and I'm going to tell you the story about what it was like to lose that you know that's ten minutes and jokes would probably be harder in this ten minutes so it's tempting but I think that I think that for me I'm just you know to kind of Canadian and you know I'm hesitant to expand I believe me I could I could make you cry right now just by don't you dare now but but I I don't know it seems like but the gist of my show is that it's that this idea that deep euerle entertain is antiquated and not allowable so therefore I feel fictitiously that but I just entertaining I will disappoint the audience so I must let them know that I've been you know abused and through rehab whether it was true or not yeah you could have spared the hemorrhoid stuff I think well it seemed important at the time it got me on that one yeah so you have SBC in Germany kind of tiger do you know how to say in English no tragedies really in your life and I have you know again I think that I can't imagine a life without some sort of tragedy I lost a brother when I was 12 I lost my parents by the time I was 20 um both yeah yeah I got no room but I think that that actually empowered me I think that made me more fearless on stage you know I think you know you go to an audience and they they hate you and you're going to say what are you gonna do kill my parents you know yeah my parents are dead go ahead try to take my parents from me it's already been done wonderful insight thank you ance coated with such sensitivity yeah yeah and feminine charm thank you so much righty uncross my legs haha how many Jews sorry where was I frivolously folks how many Jews do you think people in the audience think are on stage right now I mean applaud if you think it's - there's some evidence one none this would apply to you this is such a great new game show how many Jews are on stage well you lost the big money but yeah that's so in you're not Jewish well do you know I might be in anything no I mean Mel Brooks called me spectacularly Gentile and other such things always whatever he sees me as a variation on that and I learned that I have a German side of my grandparents family in the old country who was not spoken of a great deal and as a kid I said why a worthy criminal or something once grandmother pinched that he was you - now what does that make me 114th makes you a wasp today I'm a Roman Catholic Dominus vobiscum at conspirator Oh sank those damned in these variables and spiritus sancti carry licen please realize today Oh Susan si Senor oh my god I'm mixing my metaphor uh what was your point dick I guess I like is tied to Fred Allen I'm getting in the car I came here to come I know because you're saying that many people think that that I might be Jewish yes they do they are people ayah that is invariably the handful of people I don't go around all day you know with a lantern finding out if you're Jewish but but several different ones as we say in the Midwest yeah they say that get it different ones saw the show and said it was real good yeah but have said to me he's is Jersey City they're never certain don't thank you what would because you're in comedy I don't know get the guy the other Jews in comedy yeah yes when they see you the folks on the street the unwashed public you're grateful fans yes do they forever say oh do just a minute of and then do one of your characters or yes they like Brimley first and I just keep walking ya know I think that uh you know you can't you can't I you know it's interesting with me I love you know if you're in common you know of course that if you're in comedy you're kind of blessed because people come up to you and they're continually not like if you were imagining if you were Stallone Singh won't I'll have a fight with you you know they're coming up to you and saying you know that time I had the flu I looked at the TV and you made me laugh or they or sometimes when they walk past you they'll just smile and so it's kind of great but as far as being you know throwing me a fish and expecting me to go okay um I just keep walking you know because I don't really care yeah your your you're gonna say what I'm about to do is about me but it's about I could have put a thousand bucks on it it's about what you I can't work with this guy no no go ahead it's about what you said eighth floor NBC Johnny Carson taping ends Jack Benny gets in the elevator and because I always was writer hung out with Danny and open whenever they were on the show so I got an elevator with Jack Benny and he from the seventh floor two down he's in his Burberry coat looking like someone said do you really not pay Rochester someone else said are you really stingy somebody said can you really play the violin and somebody else did Mary Livingston really or what and you realized for decades he'd been going mmm got out I thought how polite he was they all ran to tell their friends what they had just boom it I just need some them and he put his arm on my shoulder and started that sort of walk that he does with both toes outward he said you know kid sometimes you just want to tell him to go themselves Oh God the thighs ones going through an airport and I had literally three kids little babies I had one baby one two-year-old one three-year-old my children and we're racing for an airplane and a woman comes up and says would you sign this and I said you know I know I can't cuz I'm gonna miss that flight and as I was leaving she screamed and I heard you were nice and in that moment you want to just drop the kids and then go back and drop her but you don't you don't you yeah you just best to be immune to it but most people III do think that in my life most people have been awfully kind when they come in yeah when I do think it's because you've brought in comedy you bring you know what one time I went and saw Liza Minnelli I'd never met Liza Minnelli and I saw her with Paul Shaffer and Dave Thomas and gene levy from se TV we all went to Las Vegas we saw we were there for day and a half we sell Liza and Margaret and Wayne Newton in a day and a half it was unbelievable and there was a cocktail involved of course you know we're in Vegas but Liza was on stage and ship we were making bets who would be introduced first and last you know as she would introduce us from the audience each person of those people I mentioned but got to Liza and she said oh also I thought I'd seen George Hamilton in the audience at one point and I'll get to that in a second so it Liza says there for people out there I'd like to introduce your terrific one um - from s TV she's reading in my favorite show you know she's never seen it maybe she says Dave Thomas and Eugene Levy and then she says also there's someone who's on the David Letterman Show who's a genius mr. Paul Shaffer then he stands up and does it but and then she says no I've never met Liza Minnelli she says there's someone else out here who's helped me through a lot of stuff he's been there for me and and I turn deposit I bet she's talking about George Hamilton cuz I know they'd made him read that she's introducing George Hamilton she said he's not only brilliant but I think he's real handsome too and I turned to bond said would you call George Hamilton brilliant mr. Marty short and it's me I stood up I waved I pretended we were old buddies never met her then I think that what she was saying that through comedy I'd helped her and you were always there for her through a lot of rough stuff I was deaf a hawk how it's okay there's nothing wrong with a few lies in show business no one wants the truth you know being introduced in an audience is one of the scariest things in show business I don't have any nerves going on stage III never nervous going on television after all the years I've done it and having a man die after that everything's sort of easy I mean men die on the show so I don't really have any any nerves but if I'm in an audience and I know I'm about to be introduced you can see my heart start to pound or at an auction it's terrifying in my heart pound what is that I don't know I my heart only pounds if I think they're gonna skip me yeah yeah Oh God Martin you know Hollywood lore better than I do perhaps I should hope you do um was it true at that and Oscar years ago Rosalind Russell heard her name and started down the aisle but everyone else had heard Patricia Neal or whoever it was not your kids no sir I never heard that yeah II got about six rows down and somebody grabbed her and she made her way back up ignominiously I'd want to handwash doesn't sound like Patricia I mean if it's if it's you know the winner is you know Martin Short Martin Sheen I guess she was so sure yeah that Martin she is yeah sure she heard her name how could she ever go out of the house again after that is more no you just have to move on who's the worst pig you ever worked with in the business other than tonight you mean um I'll tell you why he's sore go ahead I don't know well I can actually name a name in one second but I don't think you can can you I mean I don't think well right I don't think it's polite now but sometimes it's fun to ask that sort of thing yeah it is I and sometimes you hate someone I guess so much that you still wouldn't care the person I just wasn't crazy about I wouldn't want to say yeah you know okay could you write it out no you know absolutely man pass it on pass the president person I said to miss Betty Davis I don't know if this is the show that'll be on on one of the coming Thursday yeah I think it is I said to her who's the worst Pig you ever worked with and let me show you how the timing went Betty who's the first pig you or the word you know the really the most awful unspeakable Pig you ever worked with Miriam Hopkins like that no hesitation yeah I think Betty would have been probably hard to please so don't you don't you think few people have said Betty Davis you know a 1 or 2 yeah um who's the biggest pig you ever work with gosh I wish I could think who there are one or two but nobody really god-awful a lot of people don't like Jerry Lewis I worked wrote for him and he always said find time with him mmm you work with a lot of people you work with Jerry Lewis you work with Jack Paar all these people were my idols you know I don't want to get it back on me I don't know why it would be but um I loved Jack Paar more than anything I had lunch with him once in 1993 was one of the greatest thrills of my life did you beat him yeah you we had was he nervous well you know he was you know yeah that hide dear boy and oh you're working very hard during the goodbye crowd you're working very hard he was very fascinated when I could have a drink can't get kick can you ever have a glass of wine before you go on what about after when you can't have wine then would you ever have something stronger than wine that's uncanny the pitch everything is perfect about yeah when I was doing father of the bride I played a wedding coordinator that dad's out thank you but but literally it was a character that the the producer and the director and Disney the the studio that did the film were very concerned about only because the film itself is very reality based and suddenly into the middle of a film comes hello pleasure the Mafia Vonk evolved and got rid of it and they were concerned and I said you know I have this you know I can I'm an actor I can turn up the faucet and make each take a little bigger a little bigger and I said you know what and the director loved to do lots of takes it let's do it let's do through D takes only 30 variations on this character it's the first day we were doing it and it wasn't help the Diane Keaton was breaking up in every take so that added another 15 but when I kept doing is I've kept adjusting it but I knew that at the end of the day if they were smart they would pick the high end in other words the broader character because as long as you it's not about being broad it's about being sincere and so if you go to to the cleaners and you pick up your shirt and the guy says you've got the blacks I got lucky and you look at what he's wearing and he's an insane Madras something and you'd say if you presented this character it's airing live they'd say no it's too big it's not real you've got to make it real and yet here's this guy existing cousin Sam that's what I feel about George Bush if you were trying to write the script in 1998 you said okay the President of the United States will be this character whose grammar will be like a child's and and and he will simply be who he is you'd say let's bring it down a little bit let's make it a little more realistic do you that's a very good point by the way I just think he should do you think he's modest enough to have caused 50,000 deaths Jimmy that's about the number that are dead because of George Bush's decision that one night when god I believe or someone like him told him to he wanted him to be President yeah right well mostly civilians Iraqis I'm sure he's a pleasant man I've never met him I mean I'm sure that he it's not about whether it's really I think what we're talking was qualification of a job I can't believe he made those huge decisions on his own I'm sure there were other people in that room it was a little disconcerting when somebody says you know he's a lot smarter than he gets credit for God he'd have to be wouldn't he I mean will we be arrested at the end of the show I never talking to my lapel yeah really hey that's the brilliant thing about this country can you imagine other countries you couldn't say this this is so they don't seem to appreciate that but if you I do that's the other day somebody said if suppose there were a totalitarian regime and I thought isn't there we're getting there well you know don't be so you just don't want to speak on the phone anymore hey did you ever send for your FBI file you should I friends of mine have and I never have I'd be terrified you can get in my crab you probably were somewhere where Barbra Streisand or some War demonstrator or some hippies were no I was once enough I was unsigned the Bourbon um no I was once waitress yeah no that's I was once in a no I wasn't once in the house I live in that house on the last day of Bill Clinton's presidency I'm close friends with Tom Hanks and Tom and his wife were over at my home and they phoned Bill Clinton and and the office cuz they're friends with him and they phoned and he phoned back and yeah but 10 minutes later and my kids wrote the lawn assuming that a satellite was now staring at our house and monitoring the house so I'm sure there's something there that gives me a lot of a story about Fred Allen I'm lost no I'm sure that we're all filed somewhere oh I know I am yeah well I know you are too they forced a guy onto my show the Nixon administration once who four guests had spoken against the supersonic transport and its effect on the environment I didn't mean to get into this and I got a call one day from Washington saying the White House knows that you have had four guests on keeping tally of a talk-show late at night yeah you'd never catch that White House being paranoid anyway but let that pass they sent a mr. Magruder on not that one from Watergate but another they had a number of them and he had a crew-cut and that I remember that chair I have complete full memory of that show do you really a complete full memory that Jeff yeah I do you forgot it yeah Eddie Murphy that's my Eddie Murphy uncanny I learned that every familiar somebody before it's over I don't want to waste time with it now now I'm talking like Jacqueline someone say Purple Heart before the evening is over okay now I want to now I don't because I don't hear more about you oh god what a memory that would well now I'm gonna sidewalk needles eye never when do I say Purple Heart is it the next time we bomb oh here we go right now Oh shall I tell him I have to ask you this because this is definitely about you did I hurt your feelings at all the night no the night I was pulled up on stage in your current show why would you say well I figured you're supposed to play hostile to jimmy au aren't you yeah that's pretty good if you want to well Martin got me up any we've both got some laughs and as typically I can't remember anything I say and afterwards and people said you were so fun of what did I say they remembered one was he asks his surreal questions and like oh this one I think this was Abe Lincoln if he came back today if the Abe Lincoln were alive today would he be pleased with his tunnel with his good should have gone to this use it again later yeah well the audience laughed as you did and with an ad-lib I know Martin knows this as well as I do you often hear it at the moment you say it there was no thought behind it it just it it said for you in a way and I thought but I had time to think what in hell do you say to that now the laughs getting down it's down it's almost over and I heard myself say if Lincoln were here tonight he'd want to be shot well I may have even said in this theater and then I thought I just thought I saw you wince behind the nose no not remotely I was I was thrilled to see you score so oh okay I felt bad about the column the next day that said when Cavett left the stage it fell back to its normal laughter but I want to say but do you know how much some people think this is a very touchy subject it is for many people you speak as an educated gentleman yes how are you educated um I was home-schooled till I was 40 now I I went to university for four years I studied I was two years in pre-meds I was gonna be a doctor that's true and then I realized after the completion second year that I wasn't interested in science I was just a fan of Richard Chamberlain's work and that was and it wasn't enough it wasn't gonna get me there you know and then I switched to Social Work and then I got a BA in Social Work and then as I was about to do my masters in Social Work I decided that I would also because I was now doing a lot of theater so I would take a year off school because I'd never left the steps of school and I went to each professor what do you think should is a good idea and they all looked at me like I was mad because why wouldn't you take a year off after four years of college it was a big deal and so I took a year off and then then that year began another year and that we got another year that I'm still on that so you spent a lot of time in the groves of a khadeem I did I did I was some whatever that means I was I was voice someone got those Hooked on Phonics tapes didn't they um I when I using that yes of course have used everyone else's stuff why would live how many years of school did you go to for you don't give a whether I went to school no I know but I just want to take a sip of tea and relax for a second okay take a deep plane you would be a while no I got right oh I missed that you got it it's not fair I missed it what was it no no it was just someone telling me petty no I'm just saying I've been into your answer would be a while so I could take some tea and sip and relax that's all yeah that's all right I don't know what the hell I was gonna say now so oh you asking about school yeah I didn't have as much as you I got through I just graduated college four years in college but I didn't do any mastery's work or anything well never I never got to the masters I was going at I was going no we have the same amount yeah I thought maybe you assumed that I did get do it we you seem very educated very area that I've always assumed for my age no no really you've always you were always um you always had that G that kind of lovely voice and I thank you for not saying intellectual no I don't either and well first of all there's nothing wrong being called intellectual know if it's appropriate but I just sort of feel sorry for those who thought I was intellectual how about cerebral had they ever seen a real one I mean if they thought I know but they were there was I do think that you know listened I'm fascinating yeah well you talk about Jack Paar to think the Jack Paar in in when I was a kid when I was 12 in the days when there was one TV in the house and whatever that was turned to the family watched as a family Jack Paar would have a Friday night show did you probably wrote on um for an hour and he would sit in interview Malcolm Muggeridge or Robert Morley Moore's been an hour with Richard Burton and that was primetime television I mean it's kind of astounding yeah and that was the latter part of Jack's career but you could still see the magic in Jack but I'm saying that that was no but I'm saying I understand that late night televisions later telling them in primetime they would no more dare have an hour conversation with two fascinating people oh no never they wouldn't hold the interest one set a meeting on the Johnny Carson show or the par show I forget which I look at the rundown what's on the show of eight minutes of this and eight minutes of that and six minutes of that in the name of the person and I saw Peter Ustinov six minutes Peter Ustinov five minutes next JP Morgan eight minutes and JP Morgan another nine minutes and I said aside from the imbalance here why when you have someone as great as used to know there's never been a greater talk show guest why not have him on for maybe as much as four segments are you crazy people want change or what about for the whole show and they threw things at me and I had to leave the room but I don't it's much easier for me to do 90 minutes with someone than it is a torch and well I think is you're just kind of one's just rubbing up after a few minutes and that's why in modern day talk shows that there really variety shows they're not talk shows so you really go out and you're expected to have two funny stories three funny stories a couple of opening lines go to commercial come back with that story because they're afraid you get someone's going to flip to that other show I remember once saying they somebody saying get too too funny and one warmth out of her for segment three of the show a warm Reader's Digest lost dog goes over well but Jack to me was the most magical mysterious mercurial personality ever on a television screen and the great Kenneth Tynan wrote a piece of profile about Jack once and he said when Jack's on no matter who's with him even before Cary Grant you always are watching Jack Hartley because you're afraid you might miss a live nervous breakdown sometimes they'd say that Jack's bad today and everybody on the staff would you like we don't know what Jack's going through right now but he's not that God had translated into an electric well it was kind of ahead of his time too in this respect that I mean he was some that you didn't know whether he was going to be emotional that day or cry that night to her yeah be in a good mood and then you kind of it was like having an eccentric neighbor very much yeah very much only also funny mm-hmm do you remember fat Jack Leonard I never know what's cool with comedy people who are not my age recall well here's what's interesting yes I do know fat Jack liner but if you say to someone ah of 28 years of age who's Eddie Cantor they look at little like you're insane there is a there is now a generation gap but when I was 25 I knew everyone who was contemporary but the history you know people from you know probably vaudeville on but it doesn't we knew people ahead of winner ahead of our but I love the Jack liner because he was like that kind of Don Rickles sarcastic yeah even in Xalapa can you talk for a faster came on new night with Jack and Jack I'm backstage and Jack said when Prince at Jack comes on I'm not going to answer it because he throws aligning you have to answer then he throws another me have to answer I'm just not going to answer and let's let him hang there so we all stood watching and he did that no I could say watch walk into a parking meter and violate yourself or something actually that's a line I wrote for something and where is Alan from from silence Jack wouldn't answer fat Jack began to sweat audibly and finally he just sort of broke down and I've heard about something out of the blue range almost and then he just reached for the nearest fact he knew could think of and he said you know my wife's my wife's an acrobat and Jack said she'd have to be well he could ad-lib yeah yeah oh god I remember those nights we don't know how Jack is tonight have you aimed your kids toward anything in particular no I leave that to them you know Frank Sinatra once said that his father was always there to piss on his dreams and so I I think that it's it's you know I think if one of my kids said I'd like to go in show business I threw a frozen smile would say that's gray because I would part of me would be thinking oh don't don't pick this career don't think it's the odds are you might as well go to you know Vegas and put it on 26 I mean it's just it's just it's a very tough decision you I mean not you as you know to men so however the reason people go into show business and have no other choice is because they kind of have no other choice it's there it's their energy and their Drive and their dream and so it doesn't matter they're prepared to handle disappointment because they're still going to proceed but it's it's hard for a parent to know that your child could be like that but in my case my kids have not shown any interest they all want to do different things no Kelly no one well no actually I don't maybe your kids and I have nah that's actually my daughter won the acting prize for her high school and she graduated but then shows no interest in doing it yeah but how is it Sinatra put it What did he say he said his father was always around to piss on his dreams you know that was that is you've done it this was during a high-mass and no no but it makes sense you know Frank would say I want to be a singer and his father would say you've got to be a learn to be a barber you know I must I met Frank Sinatra in 1992 he was always my idol my ultimate Idol Sinatra and I went to see Frank and Shirley MacLaine at the Greek Theatre 1992 and then there was a party afterwards and I went back and Dinah Shore was there and she said hey do you want to meet Frank he's now 77 I said sure I was like shaking and he's standing there by the bar he's having a jug done you're on your own and I went up I said mr. Sinatra you have no idea you have no concept of how big a fan I am of yours and he looked me and he said I think I do he said what are you drinking and I said oh whatever you're drinking mr. snatcher and he turned to the bar tray and said Jack Daniels and the bartender said straight up on the rocks but I didn't hear him properly because I was nervous I thought he said straight up or relaxed and I said oh I'll have it relaxed and now now Frank was here at that he said straight up or on the rocks so already I had made Frank angry you know I thought he was gonna like break my leg or something you left there two inches shorter than you were yeah no I didn't hang long because I thought you know yeah it will only get worse ya know I was charming I only met him wants to talk to and he was real interesting and real easy to talk to but he didn't necessarily get a joke this was at the you mentioned Bennett Cerf so I thought I should keep some continuity here this is all by the way just so you know I mentioned Bennett Cerf for three hours ago tonight I'm sorry it just seemed like three hours again now cut that out Thank You joy now I forgot what it was yeah oh he was saying this was late at night I had Dennis show got out there - whoever they lived in Connecticut if someone there was Sinatra was a houseguest for the weekend and somebody else was and but he said we went to Warner's or you'll know which studio would have been where they made the MGM musicals I guess and he said I GM are old if a did yeah I think so isn't it nice how things work out yeah I know anyway he said we found our old costumes from on the town wherever the Navy costumes that the three of them had on and he said none of us could even begin to get into them and I said I guess it's when you can't get into the Hat that you have to work and Esther Williams no I mean oh yeah Esther Williams sister I think it was and also Ginger Rogers sisters were there I didn't get the real thing and hid the sisters now and they laughed and he looked at them surprised and that something funny had gone on and he had missed it and he gave me a dirtiest look but then he gave me the biggest smile in the world and I couldn't figure that out it was like an instant bang that's a grin like Brando's that would just light you up I'm sure he was confused to feeling like and therefore always wanting to be the coolest guy in the room yeah so if you're the coolest guy in the room and you miss a joke you in in Frank's case usually you know break someone's leg he walked in on down Rickles Act one night nobody insulted Sinatra as we know he walked in on Rickles act when Rickles was fairly new Rickles saw him and said Oh Frank make yourself at home hit somebody I think he did way back well I'll go back and farther now in this evening what you were saying reminded about people who bother you on the street and don't come on you got time to sign this even though your plane is leaving it on Stratford Connecticut summer 57 I was in the Merchant of Venice with one line with Katharine Hepburn and the stagehands loved her yeah I miss hat buying you know she's regular she'll say hello how are you and I saw her being regular leave the theater between matinee and evening and she was bicycle over to her house to get us quick nap and come back so she comes out they put some curlers and a dopey looking Dame says come back and sign these autographs we're the ones that made you and she said like hell you are and it made me like her from that time on correct me in my butt like hell you are would you do it like hell you are oh it goes right I met her I I was once went to the I was like 26 years old I met Kathryn and I was 26 years old and I was in New York and I was seeing the royal family the Kaufman play and as a revival of Ernest fantastic and I'm sitting there a single and there was an empty seat beside me and then I you know I'm kind of waiting for the show to start and I hear excuse me thank you move the hell get that umbrella out of the way thank you and there's Kathryn Deborah coming in she sits down and I kind of you know ignore and then the play starts and it's fantastic and Rosa ends and rosemary Harris does a dramatic diatribe and collapses in a heap of emotion onto the stage and I turn to heparin forgetting that it was heparin sitting to me and I said isn't she classy and she said well she's wonderful rosemary is one of the great actresses of all time I know people she cause she listens and that's something very important for that to do they're few actors doing I think they should do it more and as she's talking to me I'm aware that I'm talking to Katharine Hepburn and I said to her well miss Hepburn you're no slouch and she looked at me cuz now I've broken the magic and talked to her you know as gather and she said thank you and then she took the president's Ike do you mind if I change seats she though she didn't want any of me after that you never wrote to her everything and now I never did I never saw if you had now we've gotten a letter back hand written by her what happened to everybody who ever wrote to yeah she was very good wasn't be good on eBay yes yeah think of it mm-hmm um something he said in that rang a bell with me when I first saw her it was a summer Stratford and she hadn't gotten there yet and all the actors were sitting as you are in about the bottom of third of this of the theatre and a guy was giving notes about the schedule for the summer and everything and then I looked up and she was there without having entered seemed right in the aisle looking at us and I had a galvanic skin response I've only had that a few times once with Orson Welles once with Miss Hepburn I can't remember who the other one was Tommy Steele no yeah I hope it wasn't Tommy Steele a like I said how did I come up with it we're editing right yeah yeah listen you've got it when you've made an audience laugh and exert themselves you have to give them these little hiatuses in which to cool go down when we had an audience we used to yeah I'm afraid to look no no it's gone there let just is to roar the ones that made you know don't work Martin yes dick uh Martin is it job it's one of the dirtiest things you can do to somebody save that and use it wisely when you want it I was on it I was being filmed once by a guy in the Midwest who told all his listeners how Cabot and I are great friends and great buddies and greatness so much so that they thought I lived with this guy and he was taping me and I couldn't resist his name was Peter and then I just started a sentence by saying Peter is it no and he he almost died why would you hurt Peters I think what yes well your age is controversial of course and you made a point of never telling anybody what it is but seriously you could play Charley's aunt as the college boy now and you're over 30 yeah I could play Charlie's uncle I know I'm 56 did you hear there and he's not kidding yeah if anyone's a in fact I'm at this time 68 years old without any trouble your 68 is it are you 68 I have been now you look young I can remember sick I know people look at me like I'm some sort of miracle of plastic surgery no Cary Grant once said that when people say to him you look so young it means they're really wanting to say because you are so old ah you don't say that you know because you are well you don't say to Brad Pitt every way Brad you look so young what everything means that behind this you're behind this women what are these oh I see okay what's the real moderator sick is that what happened was it just a question I said to the real moderator is get sick I shan't even bother to talk there no no what made you say what oh I've always wanted to are these questions from the audience or left over from last week yeah maker yeah okay quickly I always wondered if I could impress you with anything and when I didn't have a second show as a nightclub comic I realized down the village and my Jack Rollins manager said you got your second show second drow I did the first one over again it was agony because some people stayed it's not good you don't want to hear it so just push that mic in I said to myself I don't have a second show for my neck club act and so on the next one I was desperate and I thought I'll do imitations and I didn't know any really the only one I could do with other you gave it to my brother and all the old standards was who was that as a kid oh well you're not old enough to remember Walter Brennan nor are they obviously then but Oh twe having fun yes I was going say aye I thought there's one I can do I can do Richard blue I hope you might show note of recognition during lu lu l oo richard loo in all ironically in world war ii played all the evil japanese Colonels well Japan was decimating his home country he was in all of them purple heart back to baton first yank into Tokyo every one of them and I for some reason was born able to do Richard Liu and I well don't just make a sit here on the edge of our seats do it oh well there won't be time for mr. Cavett to do is Richard lui help me save from the Purple Heart from the Purple Heart know where the b-29 crew has been downed in japanese-held China and they're all the guys are imprisoned Sam Levine Dana Andrews Oh have we done acid together No because if we did I think we're peaking you know don't make me laugh don't worry yeah those who came to scuff will remain to pray mm-hmm see all you got to do and you can keep your eyes shut because I don't look like him is say as Dana Andrews you'll never get any of my men to talk colonel Mitsu be alright you ready now and then I'll come in as Richard Lee why do like I hopefully I get to say this on the car ride home or no no no no I say right now right now okay and and you I promise you Richard lose face will swim before your eyes okay hmm okay okay what's my line again never get any my men did talk Colonel Matsuda okay I'll say this Gary Cooper no he wasn't in it oh no one knows who Richard loo is a mine yes sir that's the whole idea okay they will know I ready they will be ready they'll admit it it's a Gary Cooper movie for now trust me okay what matter you'll never get any of my men to talk colonel Masucci we must remind the captain that a chain is no stronger than its weakest rank it'sit'sit's eyes the full picture is in front you know what I stand corrected but is that for Christ's sake read the questions yeah yeah right would anyone mind if I read them as sessue hayakawa yeah okay what made you choose the triangle for heed grimly it wasn't an easy decision no no they don't want you to answer they want me to answer oh no I heard it oh yeah oh there's more is it what made you choose the triangle fred grimly and do you really play sandy Schaefer um it was a random choice because you know all these decisions if that was from a sketching site live and ed Grimley was practicing his instrument and it could have been any instrument it's probably was because it was small and you could get in the scent and it seemed eccentric it seemed like you kind of imagine if he was part of a symphony he'd be at the very back and he'd have one moment every 18 minutes and it seemed like an appropriate decision and then but like anything you do it in a sketch and then everyone says oh I love that he played the triangle so you go alright in the next sketch he'll play the triangle and from now on he'll play the triangle when I was doing prime time Glick and this character jiminy glick who interviewed you and and you know it's all improvisers all improvised yeah on that show and one time in an improvisation you you don't deny so it if whenever you can't just say whenever someone says something to you you have to agree with it and take it to the next step so Tom Hanks was the guest he came out and said you know jiminy I'm thrilled to be here tonight but what I really miss is your daytime show and from that moment on I had a date I said oh why I miss it too you know and now I to go we used to do it from the Beverly garland motel and you know and then and you just kind of pretend that you have a daytime show and so that's why ed Grimley had a triangle it was a decision alright for small could we get a typist here you pass it to me for a small country population wise Canada produces a considerable number of talented professional comedians what is it about Canada that produces so you can finish it yourself I think um it did they're there they produce of many satirist s-- and people who do characters Mike Myers and Jim Carrey and SCTV and and a lot of people and I think that it in Phil Hartman I think it's tied to the fact that they're in the middle I was like in Canada to the middle of three sisters you know you've got the United States kind of like a michelle pfeiffer kind of you know and you have Emma Thompson the English one elegant and Canada's kind of a little bit like Betty Davis in a Voyager you know there's it's it's beautiful but it doesn't know what you know if it just needs a little plucking and and and so sometimes that that's where the insecurity comes from are are we you know and the reality is the rest of the world looks at Canada with all this admiration and and pride and it's kind of hip to be Canadian in comedy anyway and I think the Canadian sit in the middle they see American television they see British television they can they're like the middle sibling they snipe and make fun and satirize and learn and then they so I think that they've had a unique kind of absurdist take on comedy in second city there's second city in Chicago and second city in Toronto and the second city in Chicago is often brilliantly written and sometimes the second city in Toronto is funnier because it's more character-driven an absurdist is that more than you expected that sounded good were you at all influenced by Ernie Kovacs I think I was i I must admit my biggest influences were Jonathan winters and were and people like that and Peter Sellers but I loved Ernie Kovacs I did I was a tad young for Ernie Kovacs because I think he died when I was like 11 or something and a lot of his stuff was live some of the best stuff was of the time you know Jonathan when he first came on The Tonight Show live with Jack Parr the funniest thing the world never seen anything like it no shoulders were stood upon he was absolutely original created a mad world that you cannot if somebody who has never seen him you can't describe to them to be foo now no he was I think the funny scene you almost could like I don't remember one instant when he was doing a garage I got at the filling station filling the tanks and trekking up a conversation with the driver he says is that the wife there in the car hi and it was sort of like that but you hadn't seen those right stupid to put him in movies God he had a terribly tragically - my money mismanaged career he should have done two great specials a year that only wanted to make money yeah because acting had nothing to do with what Jonathan winters does which guest was the hardest to interview the most enjoyable oh they're both questions now oh it says Dick Cavett on this one Yeah right is this assuming as jiminy glick on prime time Glick or do you mean the guests on the show the prime time like I would say the best is always from you know probably Steve Martin and and the worst you don't say you know it's it's rude you don't want to say that because they came into your home it wasn't my fault they stunk Martin Short what was your favorite question but what was your favorite SNL moment how did you how did learn Michael find you Michaels um I never did the show with norm Michaels I did with Lauren Michaels took a five-year hiatus from Sarah in live and that's when I did it haha now and I did it actually I was in a unique situation to saying live I did it for one year I had a one-year contract which is kind of unheard of and they they thought they were going to be maybe cancelled so they brought in people that had actually done other shows which is also a typical for certain life so they brought in christopher guest who just done spinal tap and I was on SCTV and Billy Crystal and Harry Shearer who was also in spinal tap and so we were forgiven one-year contract and so it was it was hard work but it was you news for one year yeah yeah thoughtful well we're not too impressed with your town streets are dirty what makes New York so crummy tourists that was good that's that again what's the secret to your happy marriage Martin Short is it that you always obey your wife yes sir yeah that's a that's the answer I've learned right from the beginning no I think it's I think everyone you know obviously two people want to make it work but it's it's luck I'd be happily and contentedly married and divorced six times if that were to be the case I see no shame and I know friends who have found great soul mates on their third and fourth marriages yeah god bless him I just got lucky the first one that's got to keep at it yeah who shot the invisible swordsman oh um I don't know that's that's from three amigos the movie yeah I think was nothing needle Anders shot him yeah these are your people now how would you jiminy glick have interviewed Jimmy Hendrix well jiminy glick would only be interested in what he was you know if jiminy glick interviewed Bill Clinton he wouldn't ask him about Monica Lewinsky he'd say why doesn't shannen doherty work more and he just wants to know what he wants to know so jimi hendrix you'd probably say do you know roddy mcdowall you know oh god what type wedding would Frank Trank Frank rotten quarter oh yeah I got I know it is recommended for what we recommend what type of wedding with a recommend for Tom and Katie how would trunk recommend the wedding well I because our sheykh you know and probably you I don't know you have she's pregnant now that you'd throw puff rice with you know she had the baby that's it I don't know I only learned that I got quoted I was just heard on CNN to say the other day that I always believed everything Katie Couric said except opening night when she said we've got photographs here everyone is waiting to see I wasn't I could I was quoted as saying I could have gone a decade without seeing the homunculus they produced well so I asked yeah Oh to what extent if any were you influenced by can you guess Danny Kaye um you know not so much I must admit I people in Hawaii that were compared I don't know the UM I was probably influenced much more about Jerry Lewis but Danny Kaye I loved the court jester but then there was an element of Danny Kaye that irritated me he was a schmuck was that true that was the main part yeah was he yeah I heard he was no I I heard that too actually he was very nice to me as people always say man was I had but the chicken in the Finland it's good to be debated today I don't know I used to switch that I I couldn't nothing exactly as within Martin's case I like the court jester to and the pellet with the poison in the veil of the palace well and and I couldn't think of anything to compliment him before when he came on a show of iron really because I grew out of him and I just thought what a lovely evening to just dis the memory of Danny Kaye so thinking of him doing those things that he liked you know I thought you're the most graceful comedian that's got in comedy well he was graceful listen I mean bad comedy you have to remember that that comedy is the most subjective thing in the world you know you look at in the 20s physical comedy was the greatest art form by the 50s it was the lowest art form it was I think curly Howard is the most genius comedian imaginable other people can't stomach so I don't think anyone's right or wrong so I in it in no way are we saying anything negative against Danny but we're just saying that it's a personal thing about if you'll forgive me for saying this I went when you said the name of whoever it was just now Oh curly Howard oh okay yeah yeah yeah one of the Stooges backstage on a Tonight Show taught me to cross one both eyes and then have one wander out to the right and back without the other one moving how many want to see that hands well I'd say they can't see it but they can imagine that it's looking wow it's great it it spooks people huh well now that we're into this and I just met Danny Kaye's daughter the other days possibly hope she isn't here I love Danny Kaye by the way maybe I won't tell it no don't tell it for what for the first time in your life sensor yes you well I'm sorry olya didn't mean to do it good I met Stan Laurel right now were you at all influenced by Ernie Kovacs oh we know that maybe it that may be it somebody's here with someone's agent therefore once you know why that person has such lousy seats but I I seem to have buried it here somewhere no no but we'll just have to ask later do you think oh here do you think sex is dirty just making these up it is if you do it right yeah Woody Allen 1968 the Dick Cavett daytime show a high school girl yelled out do click sex is dirty what he said it is if you do it right it was quite it was quoted all that year by people who could not think of it them such a joke themselves let's see what did you come did you come here with anything particularly you wanted to tell me or no no I just wanted to know if you knew any famous people and I found out I suppose hey what's in your bag I thought you'd never have just for that what you just did that you're not going to get it now I'll come on well you know we didn't come here to plug things like Broadway show is there anything no no I mean Fame becomes me at well Bernard B Jacobs 45th street seats available yes or are there well we go some yeah uh let me ask you this I was interviewed on the phone the other day by Oh somebody plugging DV the DVDs of my shows that have come out which are brilliant by the way and I have them all that's true do you in fact I've told you this backstage I adored the Dick Cavett show more than anything in the world when it first came out in 1969 and or 68 I can't remember and ah the second those DVDs came out I grabbed it them because they were like seeing as I told you backstage an old friend is he kidding no no I'm sincere no that gets to me well it's true you want to see a tiny tear when I won't need to give you the present I brought you I know what it is but I bet I but know why because christmas is coming up and I can I can always you know but I bet I have how dare they to artistes like us and little jerk backstage says it's time to wrap up well I'll just do this quickly it's it's a something to ponder and it ties into something more considered comedians of the past and so on this latest DVD that's coming out is done by shout factories brilliantly put together all of those are and the guy on the radio said to me I have to use this to prompt myself okay so you have here what nine disks and for their money they get Fred Astaire Marlon Brando Mel Brooks Frank Capra Betty Davis Kirk Douglas Katharine Hepburn Arnold hit Alfred Hitchcock John Huston Groucho Marx Robert Mitchum and little Orson Welles then the whole shows are there and the guy said to me enough say - who would today's counterparts be - those people that's a good question yes finally um I love this guy no rush I would say well I would say definitely I could see there were 90 minute shows yeah the 90 minutes with Meryl Streep yes I think that's fair I'd want to see 90 minutes with Nathan Lane I'd see 90 minutes with um Tom Hanks yeah yeah true um good 90 minutes well Jack Nicholson oh god yeah yeah only he would do it if only George Maharis George Maharis yeah I got a do pinkie leave first yeah dear fellow I guess I like that but it does but it says something doesn't it I mean could you make the great classic films then and cast them now who would be Paul Henreid who would be Claude Rains who would be oh I think I think you would find them I do I think they're brilliant actors there's so many brilliant actors you know we were in a situation when we were casting our show and actors would come in and it is the most daunting thing in the world to see someone who will come in and sing brilliantly and be funny and then you'll realize well they're not there there's something else that's missing you're not going to cast them and they're not going to maybe work that month it's insane I think the fact that Law & Order shows you every week that New York is loaded with brilliant actors yeah both of them you feel you've seen only one yeah or why I think that you were stunning on that show these people dare you to play a serious thing and be a serial rapist or happening you all the time you know if I was asked to do that show I met with the the writers and I eyed the only thing I had said was I you know don't I I was getting nervous when I see someone in comedy crossing over and looks like oh they're stretching publicly and they never they never smile because they're being serious now so I so they I think wisely they made that character very kind of charming and like likable and then he was just a sickest thing you've ever seen yeah lend me a way of very foster the British actor in frenzy well that was a good movie man who took his beautiful stick pin and placed it in his collar and then string over the ladies night his scarf I don't know why it reminded me oh you'll love this he said hey what about that woman should wrap up Oh you know I think she meant it we will wrap up we're gonna wrap up but we're gonna stay out here I just gonna do this Hitchcock directed by Dwight are you free you don't mind if I return some calls during it no you use your hedge it's just have a car I just want to check I just want to check see if the kids are okay now go ahead have you ever seen anything like that he forgot how he loved me a minute ago he said Hitchcock used to come into the caravan we say trailer don't worry yeah and say true man Gregory Peck and whoever else come down the hill from Drury Lane they walk through the Inns of Court coffee bridge to the Chams they look and they go back to their chambers and the man was ever in London how did I do it and then you had the gas and he said then he would say non sequiturs it closes ice a minute sit there you louder I got him now I can't I can't hear you how can they I know really you're Hitchcock is so the reminds we have a really good story yeah no but he said he pitch would come out with these weird non sequiturs and he said one day he just sat for a moment then he said Grace Kelly the most promiscuous woman I've ever known really yeah it's true I guess but God we went too young where we could it sounds fantastic yeah Jimmy Stewart of course of you amazing it mm-hmm wonderful ah Martin has a little number he wants to do too close now I have no number except that I would like to say I toast 92nd Street Y for graciously invited me and I toast mr. dick cavett for graciously chatting with me

Channel: 92Y Plus

Views: 33,678

Rating: 4.6631579 out of 5

Keywords: 92Y, 92nd Street Y, Dick Cavett (TV Personality), Comedy (Theater Genre)

Id: W4vNhrUGqB4

Length: 77min 0sec (4620 seconds)

Published: Sun Nov 09 2014