Martin Short -- Serious Jibber-Jabber with Conan O'Brien | CONAN on TBS

hey there I'm Conan O'Brien welcome to serious jibber-jabber I'm here with the Emmy and Tony Award winning actor and comedian Martin Short oh yeah Oh cricket stop for you yeah very nice yay he of course started the groundbreaking sketch comedy series SCTV zall so cast member on starring out live and has appeared in numerous films including the father the bride movies Clifford three amigos he's done so much you can't put it all on don't you want to talk about the Tony a plural multiple Tony's at three and Tony's really to daytime Tony's but one full night time do they look any different your littler and they're made of candy aren't they I didn't start by saying something I haven't said to anybody ah are you a Jew allowed to ask you that no here's this is my question hmm I've been in this business now since 1985 huh can I make a call during this part go ahead it'll be quick and you're gonna like it because I can't hear about though there's one name I reliably hear funniest guy ever Martin Short really yes consistently you why how have you perpetuated this fraud this long you know that though you know that and I know there's really no response for you but it's why I wanted to talk to you in this environment because that's very kind you know it's pretty I think it's a subjective thing I think there you would find people and when this is on if you go down to the comments they'll say what I can say I can see them now I can see them no more there's a lot of no I mean it is don't you find the most fascinating thing about comedy is that it's a subjective thing some people love slapstick some people hate it some people admire the Stooges some people don't I'll say this I think if you're looking if you get all the concentric circles and you have them intersect in one area I think there are very few people that you can get just about everybody to agree on you are one of them I'm gonna put Steve Martin in that category as well and then you start having arguments but there's not an argument when you say Jesus Christ Martin Short is the funniest guy ever every time I've seen you do anything you score reliably I'd like to know the secret how do you do it how can I do it how can I steal your life's essence that's what I want well I mean I don't know what to say I do believe though like free talk shows for example the minds instinct is always to really over prepare you send in you know 30 pages initially have them cut down to eight pages that will never be you know one will get to all that material and if in fact if you go out and just start doing your material then the appearance will be a failure because it won't be a conversation it will just be a rat-a-tat-tat but that over preparation gives you this confidence not just that you like you're going on with something but also for me it's also tied to this idea that if I bomb I'll still be able to go out and have a glass of wine and celebrate because I did everything I could do I can't help it if I'm limited why you just want that wine as all you want and I'll get you your wine oh one agreement to me that is one of the keys you do it and Steve Martin does it but you what I've noticed is and it's not just in comedy but particularly holding comedies that the people that that really astonish me are the people that work really hard even though they probably don't have to to me that's what separates you I've seen the notes when whenever Frank smiley produces your segment we've done many shows together yes 30 pages of notes of you testing out different stories the level of work that goes in there's a hare of neediness to it yes his name my book awful awful title awful title um how about sunny von Bulow unplugged we have that option this is I doesn't look infected how about that title I'll go with that the New Testament I'm thinking that's good that's been taken down let's talk about where it comes from which is we go back and I think anybody who's in this business of comedy will call it that for tonight even if this is tonight I have no idea what time it is we shoot this in a salt mine 4:00 in the morning in a safe house his safe house it's got to start when you're a kid it has to that's where you learn that you're funny so what start was your dad funny was he funny guy my dad was very funny my dad was very sarcastic very funny and when I started doing Jim neglect I realized that I was also channeling his thing like he would my father was Irish born in Ireland so what he would do is that he never and he was very successful he was a vice president of steel company of canvas so he was an executive he had a bar for example in his office that he'd never touched but the second he'd come home you know gin and ginger no ice and he'd sit there read the paper he never ate with us because he'd always had his big meal at lunch so he'd see us all the 400 kids sitting there and don't you don't shovel it in like an animal don't you don't need to or he can I get up in this thing you could do whatever you want sometimes he'd be ring picked me look over and you just gonna be listening all right Michael keep eating I'll make sure the dogs don't get that job you know one time well I'll just do a imagine it's like I was cleaning the counter and I punched it up like this and then he he said you could he could watch that for about eight seconds and he grabbed me look only a now you got a big space so it was always very not critical but ultimately right you know and and very funny and everyone was funny of my family I was the youngest so it was almost like trickled down funny right it was and and and we have tapes that you know we used to always make tapes did you make tapes and yeah I made well I made audio I didn't have any audio to sing God yeah but I was I don't real surreal and and we make comedy tapes and the sleazy Awards and you know but my mom would be there laughing him one of the characters too so she was not funny funny but laughing and appreciating and if she'd bomb we'd make fun of her bombing and so there are think comedy was very dominant in my house and I think though that for me as it youngest not only did I steal from everybody but because I was you know never really touched the ground - I was 11 or something that I was given all this confidence Oh Marta you Marty and then I was stealing for everyone's bits I think how many brothers and sisters I was youngest to five I was middle of six and I believe most of my timing most of my instincts got worked out around the kitchen table absolutely because I think there's a rough-and-tumble you it's just abrasion you just you figure out what works what doesn't work and it's 34 irishblondie is and angry I remember my father was born and raised in across from Glenn County Armagh above Schwartz bar well the shorts bar which is still there by the way and his father was Republican and as they call it James short and my it up until two years ago he died was run by my uncle paddy the youngest of the 11 kids and I remember one night Patty's two sons and I stayed up to about 5:00 in the morning talking about family I was visiting and staying over and we you know we're drinking beer and then you go to whiskey but when with if you're the owner if the if you're the kids of the pub owner you don't you have to pay you have to keep putting money in the tool you can't just drink the whiskey anyway I came down around 9:00 in the morning at paddy uncle Pat he was cleaning out the glasses so how did the character assassination go last night any was course spot-on it's great just edgy funny well you know there's a am I wrong if it felt to me when I was a kid anyway that we weren't allowed to be overtly impolite but if we could be funny about it absolutely get away with murder you could be edgy yeah so you can express anger and displeasure I mean I would see these other families I've had friends that from from other cultures and other ethnicities and they're yelling at each other openly in front of it we never did that in my house no but it was all could you swear at your father no no I couldn't eat it oh my god not him now now that he you know he would routinely rake him over the coals now I haven't he's well he doesn't like me to mention his age let's just say he's really up there yeah he's 84 you're I'd like to say you're I am 50/50 yeah you know anyway what's your next question 58 64 thank you let's talk about Canada all right I and we've talked about this many times SCTV was a revelation to me when I was very interested in comedy and a lot of people were talking about Saturday Night Live and I thought SCTV was for me specifically and then I found out that there were a lot of people like me who thought that SCTV was just for them the level of detail and the fact that there wasn't a live audience I thought made a big difference which is interesting to me because you so much thrive on in a live audience and you were a huge success on Senate live but there was something about well I didn't I I did a CTV and the next year right did Senate live and it was hugely hugely different pieces that you could write remember I wrote this piece in Senate live I swear it would have killed a messy TV because we would have edited it we would have done it exactly was a television commercial I mean I promo for a fictitious TV show the idea that Lucy was coming back one more time right and the show was called Luke who's in Harry and she's playing best Truman and we're in the Oval Office and I had the red wig and I had the buttons and on the vest and I'm saying Eleanor Roosevelt played by Mary help me girl we got a wallpaper before Harry and it was just talking about crickets I mean it bombed on a level address it was just nothing I thought well of course because it doesn't look like a television promo and what we could do in SCTV is we could take that we put the sound and we shoot it the right way it was surgical in a way it was you could be surgically precise about comedy and SCTV and there's some senate live is a cultural yeah well they took the time was very I remember there was a John Candy and I was at the end of a season on NBC and you know they've come in to you at certain point and say look guys we do not have we have three hours to shoot something so if anyone can write something that would take three hours to shoot we could shoot it it's good to take eight hours guys we can't do it absolutely so uh my brother Michael and I wrote this piece whatever happened to baby Edie and I was Edgar me and John Candy was the tormenting older brother but here they're two and I'm in the wheelchair and I'm practicing my wheelchair and it was a really funny script and we shot it and you just knew it wasn't working and we go over to the prom because they're shooting with four cameras because they only have two hours to shoot and we I go over to the I say why isn't this working in Candice's I don't know why he's not working and then John said because it doesn't actually look like a movie so now the director John Blanchard got into a huge fight with the producer Jane Horrocks saying we need eight hours to shoot this over up shoot it exam mber I remember the yeah bull then there was a big fight and John and I went over and took a cigarette and because we owe the cast always won those things because we were the show we wrote the show controlled the show it wasn't like Senate live where you know clearly Lorne Michaels is the head of that show this Andrey Alexander was fantastic running it but he knew to stay out of the way of everybody I mentioned Canada you just mentioned Lorne Michaels it's a question that it's a boring question by this point what is it about Canadians but I need to go there because I have worked with there's so many comedians and there's a very specific kind of comedy that seems to come out of Canada that I can never put my can never put my finger on it but what is it what's in the water in Canada I don't know I used to I was asked that all that you know a long time and I used to think of its you know comedy is international there's no such thing and then I kept seeing these people and then you know Phil Hartman and Mike Meyer and they just kept coming and Jim Carrey and I thought know something and I do think it is that Canada got the Pythons before you got the place I don't mean got it but like saw them right so we would see American television Canadian television and British television I also think it's a smaller cut we're kind of like the middle sibling you know you got that like the the sexy young kind of you know United States you've got the older Emma Thompson British and there's this kind of middle sibling who's much prettier and more fabulous than she might at times think but it gives her that thing of a sniping at people and making fun and then hiding and and also I think behavior odd behavior is more kind of revered there I used to see second city there was for a long time just second city Chicago and then it in 73 moved to Toronto and if you saw the two shows back-to-back you'd see the Chicago shown it'd be very well written very smart political edgy then you go up to Toronto and be Catherine O'Hara and Robin do pain to drunk female truckers and it was just character work so bizarre and I personally was laughing more of the Toronto stuff so I don't know if that's an answer the question but I dye it because I never been there's something about that that middle child syndrome and it's also am i right it seems like it's a very literate country there's out there and I don't just mean reading but I mean there's a it seems like a lot of the comedian's have this vast knowledge of movies film they're well educated in a way about there's really well educated in satire I mean I think that the era where character work became more important than the punch right was a great great boom for Canadian comedy because they they could create these characters that didn't have any punchlines well that's what that's a Steve Martin I just did show this to you the other night and he's a good friend obviously but a part of our show we will talk about these things and and Steve was talking about this thing where he just decided to take out all punchlines and just see what happened and what happened is that he bombed for a couple years but then he would be forced to create it seemed like that he felt was the new world of comedy and when you think of you know Bill Murray singing feelings there's no jokes there it's just total attitude total approach to comedy in a way that doesn't force you to be involved and yet takes you completely into its soul because it's saying you know that guy join me in this little journey and don't just hear my jokes there's an aggressive in a lot of your work there's there's almost I defy you to figure out how I came up with this guy the quality to it and I mean this as a compliment but I can when Bill Murray made fun of the lounge singer I knew it was coming from and so many people I would know where it was coming from and then there's an ed Grimley and it was it did feel like it was coming from another dimension and I loved it but couldn't for the life of me figure out how you came up with ed Grimley it doesn't it's not someone you didn't see and ed Grimley no one's ever seen in that gremlin you know I didn't see any agreement but I did know a guy in school and he always talked like that he wanted to be photographer and say hey Stan would you use me I took a lot of slides can I see them but I didn't develop them because like I took them so I knew what they were so I didn't feel they needed to be developed pretty sad you stand says I and then it just kind of stays with you and and so then that was like when I'm 16 now I'm you know whatever 26 and I'm doing second city uh yeah second city and there was a character that it was a scene called sexist and the scene was Peter Aykroyd brother of Danny Catherine O'Hara and I Catherine is a amazingly qualified person for this same job I work at a Nestle station near the corner of Jackson Wilson through a mall site and that was the scene and the and we end up the you know I end up getting the job and that's the same and she does a tirade and storms off and one night I just just put a little grease in my hair just do it and Peter Ackroyd said to me one that you that hair is standing strong taller every night so to make him laugh I put it right up and the audience laughed and I thought this is why I'm here so I just kept that and then I realized it was kind of like an abstract painting but there was a simplicity to him and when I moved to Senate live I couldn't do those quieter scenes anymore that I would do and but I so I had to explore eddsworld of the news apartment and his obsession with Wheel of Fortune and you know talking that the phone rang yeah I love the phone there's always such a sense of mystery well here's you also did Nathan Nathan therm and opposite end of the spectrum like there's a character who it's all about getting in really close and the quietness of it in a way and it's very small I mean that to me that was impressive I noticed that at the time as a comedy fan that you've gone well I always found that the Richard Nixon when he went on and and defended you know that he didn't know why those 18 minutes were missing from that tape I found that hysterical because first of all there was all this sweat here so it's like he's lying we know he's lying and he knows we know he's lying and yet he's I would never and I just found that hysterical so Nathan therm that's why I but sled up here and then it was a 60 minutes it was a system in of parody there was a there was a makeup artist at Senate live I won't mention her name she was the most offensive person that you'd ever met in your life she always changed smoke associated cigarette this and I'd say gee Mary and I seem a little pale I know that you don't think I know that I know that I'm in a makeup artist I even though that okay so so so now get to you know it's a month later and Harry Shearer and Christopher Guest and Billy Chris and I are writing a satire of 60 minutes and they I'm gonna play the lawyer that's always being cross-examined by Mike Wallace played by Harry Shearer and I will you know be defensive and I didn't know who to play and Billy Crystal said why don't you do Marian Siebert I just said the name and I say he's so funny he's a bunch of do her I said what I can't do her she's gonna find out that I'm doing it I shall never find they never find out so then we're doing it and and then but I forgot she'd be there of course when we shot it so I'm Mike Wallace's crew I'm saying I know that you don't think I know that I'm a lawyer I would know that and they go cut he's sweating she goes I know that you don't think I know you didn't figure it out she didn't figure it out she never figured out except she never figured and then I said live as you know better than anyone when something a character works they repeat it every time I did it I was terrified that I get caught and I never got caught and then has show there was a big party and her assistant got drunk points Marion how stupid are you you're Nathan therm don't you know that so she confronted me I thought you were my friend and I said I am your friend but you know that him personation is the highest form of compliment and she said I know that she well you immortalized her yeah I guess yeah I guess we'll bleep her name huh good thank you i jiminy glick yeah but again there are all these aspects of gymnic like his cartoonish body it's you encased in this fat suit but that seems to be so important to him I love Jimmy Glick I loved it when you did him in your Broadway show and you had you you let me come up and that's the other improvident you also did prime time Glick yes and I bet there was something about that absurd body it almost feels like that gives you license as jiminy glick if there's something about being in that suit I don't that seems to help you it seems Tom licensed to be well certainly the suit was great because I could fall oh yeah because I had the padding um it definitely allowed me to say things that I would never ever ever say to people you know you know sometimes you just hush someone Shh just if I ask you a question doesn't mean I need an answer and but no one got upset when one person got upset but you know most people got upset I can't say it gotcha tell you at dinner that will be fun here and then I'll tweet it out and then everybody will know know I should be able to tell the story but I you know I'm too kind I'm too sweet this is your saying you are a I think we may have some similarity here I you're a very nice person I think of myself as a nice person comedy is my way to not be so nice walk this line I mean I have running a thousand running bits with my staff right playing over the top right is ogre Karen yeah yeah quiet you shut up I grab comedy writers I mean I've pushed people up against the wall I'm constantly insulting them in a variety of ways it's not really me but it's a way well no no I think your satirizing someone who's like that yeah I think I hope so or I'm an I know well little bits of everything yeah thank you my point is what is your point your point is that my point is is that you are a somebody you always seem to me like a very nice guy but but you can take it right to the eggs you can you have a Razors Edge I don't wanna say cruelty but you're able you're able to take it right up to the line and and get away with it and audiences love it I mean routinely every time you come on my show you open with a barrage of my make up the bad work I've had done and now play I said you I said to you that I appreciate the work is cosmetic surgery had my own suggestion was 20% more part of you means it no no no you can never go for you can't go to the real stuff right you can't go to you know if someone is a big stomach cancer nice stomach that's me right but you can say mmm this is pie I'm sure you'd like that you know you do that you know I mean I think that I I think like when you satirize someone when you when you impersonate someone yes I did pieces to pieces on SCTV where I play Jerry Lewis and it was very important to me to show within those pieces that Jerry those was really funny I could show other sides that might make it ultimately be like a Hirschfeld sketch but if you denied why that person was famous and revered and just went to the mean stuff then there's no there's no satire right it's not layered and Jerry later quasi approved of your well yeah III I was asked as I think you you you you did a hardly working but I mean you really you did the Jerry Lewis I can see us scenes from an idiot's marriage yeah Jerry Lewis working with Bergman I always felt that Jerry Lewis even if he didn't have a lozenge either seemed like he had a lozenge in his mouth or should so we talked about why the studios were run by fools today but he can produce another one instantly from I don't know where they're coming from I mean I can only he's a dispenser of laws and just spends in her lozenge what's the era of show business that if you if you were a magical man you could go is there an era of show business that you would prefer or that you identify with I probably would say I don't know I mean is it is it I used to love 1962 I was 12 I used to think what a great thing there's Frank there's Sammy there's you know all these funny people on TV Jackie Gleason Jonathan winters but that's I don't think it's so much because that's the era I want to live in I think that when you're 12 that's when you're open to it all that's when the people that are that's when you're most influenced that that's the huge time 12 to 15 or so then there's a certain point where you say I'm just recycling everything that I learned between 12 and 15 you know there's a I mean you you sing you dance I watched you I was there when you did the AFI tribute to Mel Brooks into this opening number and you tossed these things off there's an incredible amount of skill you you know this this form of show business that a lot of people in my generation they don't have the command and well I think that in in general I mean let's face it that there aren't you know there aren't they're sent live as far as sketch shows they're not many sketches when I was 14 15 you turn on television and there were variety shows the room sitcoms that there are today through westerns and there were all the shows that are on today but there were a lot of sketch shows so therefore a lot of people worked as writers and sketch shows and they learned that craft but I think that in my generation that was maybe just a little wider range of what was going on so you could watch it all and take a little bit of that a little bit of that I also think you had to know because when I was a kid and you'd got watch the variety shows everybody it was just done if you watched a Bob Hope in a variety show everybody had to sing at some point yeah and you had to do some soft-shoe and there was this thing that got carried over I mean you think about TV when it first began in the late 40s in the early 50s it's just they're just taping vaudeville and put it in showing it yeah yeah and then that got carried on for a while to the point where the Brady Bunch has a variety show and they an all's have to sing and dance because that's what you have to do I think that's obviously not so much the case now I don't think you know there's there's as you said there's a lot of attitude comedy there's a lot of comedy that's almost anti performance but yours Ilana and there's a lot of comedy that kind of that guy isn't that guy stupid let's show a clip that guy got hit in the balls let's show a clip that hurt we'll be back it's not necessarily my favorite but I mainly because I you know there's so much there's so much if there was like one person doing that you say that's cool you know louis c.k you look at so you see can you think what's so great about Lucy Kay is that he's doing what other people do but he's doing something different he's there's some kind of weird honesty that truth that we all he's saying things that we shouldn't even be thinking and he's just saying it and laughing and saying come on you know and Louie's an example of someone who's been working on that forever he's always been that guy he almost needed the medium to catch up to him I needed well you know you know you look at someone like John Belushi in that first cast of Senate live you know Steve Martin always says it he was an aspen living their announcement section of in 1975 you had a house there and if he watched a Night Live the first episode he went they did it they figured it out they figured out how to take comedy variety and show business in general to just this new level in a way something that he was trying to do - it was just simultaneously and but as brilliant as John Belushi was and all those guys and girls on that castle builder if they hadn't had that vehicle who would know that they could do that so you do need it's like white whenever you never and says but being in comedy or show us in general that it's it's you know you have to have talent yes you have to have tremendous endurance yes and you have to have luck you have to actually have a vehicle that allows you to showcase these so-called gifts there's a there's an era of show business clearly it's changed but my example is the Beatles on Sullivan February of 64 they go on and you know 73 80 million people watch there's no crime while the Beatles are performing it's a huge event and I always say today by the time the Beatles got to Sullivan would all be sick of them because would have watched yeah would have debt would have would have seen all of their work in the cavern club because we all be on video be on would be on YouTube that have been jammed down our throats a million different times before they even got over here right and they would have been here six hundred times before they everyone on Sullivan because they would have done they would have been in the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards and we would have slimed them you know so you make it all so pathetically sad yeah that's the point of this yeah that's it but the show there was I always feel like you there's a there's an air of show business that I think you're still very strongly connected to where it's a club which is how it used to be it used to be a smaller club and now it feels you know in the old days you could go on Carson and doing a Carson appearance mm-hmm and the next day walk down the street and everybody had seen it everybody and today I don't think there's any one show where anybody can go well there's also by everyone yeah there's also you know 900 stations and 900 ways to see things when I was 13 if I wanted to change the station and by the way they were only 9 I have to get up and walk across the moon and if you're as drunk as I was at 13 Walker on your knee yeah so you end up watching that odd black and white Thin Man thing with William Powell that you never ever ever would have watched had you done and had nine hundreds day so therefore obviously if they're in Johnny Carson there was one talk show that was a guy and and the other thing is there seemed to be a unanimity about what the topics were everybody knew they all know who Dean Martin was and that his act is he's been drinking you know they all knew and the rebels yeah and and everybody knew the backstory yeah and I think one of the things today is I've seen this a million times someone will have a very successful show a show that is a hit in its niche and they come on the show and they say I'm gonna come out there and I'm gonna start by dropping a line from my show and they look out to the crowd there's no unanimous yes yeah some people know what he's talking about other people don't it doesn't mean the show is in a hit in its world mm-hmm it's just very hard for everybody no one's on the same page I think sometimes comedic Lee and I think it really you you come from that area will era where or you grew up and I think you embody and a lot of your comedy that era where everybody knows the story do you know to me and everybody again but though I think it's just that there's if there's a thousand things to watch your focus is constantly I have from having you know that remote control in nine hundred stations much less tolerance for watching anything I don't give anything a chance it seems I'm just gonna watch anyone I mean it's a little better if you can DVR and create your own network you know then you you created it therefore you commit to it a little more well also on SCTV sir not live your parroting things where everybody knows what your parodying mmm-hmm whereas today there's a pressure to you've got to do there's a twerking bit of video Miley Cyrus twerking well like how would you parody Miley Cyrus and the award show you you you have to do it well here's the problem we don't have to have the tongue that goes right out and run drags on the ground and is and is pinned up to this exactly I would have to have a lot of surgery to my ass further surgery in my ass to have it done but the problem is you're parroting something that it's it's that is the biggest Miley Cyrus twerking was the biggest splash culturally in the last you know a couple of weeks good culture to live in thumbs up all around but that was like a train wreck of such insane proportions I thought she was fantastic I thought she nailed it allow me to finish my thought I'm only talking about her hairdo I would like to have seen a doubt I don't know why the devil horns I thought the tongue was brilliant yeah and twerking I mean I love twerking yeah the Pope is introduced working into the Catholic Church now which I think you know that the Pope Francis will not wear any fur on his capes you know that all fur is gone is that true yeah he decided that himself yeah they accept if he has Lady Gaga tickets but that that is all he'll do thank you how do you like the new audience format I'm used to the response [Laughter] let's talk about talk show guests who you've earned urine you're in the pantheon of people that always you always deliver you're always funny everybody when you're on the show any show it's a day out for the hosts who do you feel that way about when you see them on a show as a guest oh I think Steve Martin Tom Hanks hi Hanks is another guy Tom Hanks I just saw I just saw Bill Murray this kind of like breathtaking performance I'm Dave the Alderman's Show where he came out as Liberace mm-hmm I think people that that commit to it but there's a lot of people in people it really goes down Billy Crystal is always prepared he's always funny I think it's tied to this idea that if if it's important you know one thing about Steve is that he'll phone me up and he'll say tell me if you think this joke is funny so he'll go over for jokes oh what's this for I have to do blank in three months and you're saying so you're working this hard on your 7,000 talk show and you're Steve Martin and this is like three years ago and you think it's well that's why I guess you're Steve Martin we had on the old late night show you'd have these bands that had the hit of the moment and they would show up they'd make a lot of demands they wanted to keep the NBC limo for the night they wanted a lot of booze they wanted this they wanted that and then I remember the Springsteen was on a few times every single time he showed up early worked it out he was worked it out was in there worked hard at rehearsal figured it out then was out in the hallway and then he was in his dressing room and he was ready to go and then afterwards hung out chatted chatted with people was authentically nice and kind yeah and you thought yeah it's it's not an accident but I think sometimes people are so fearful and they're they're wearing a mask of confidence so that part of their fear is oh I'm good I'm good afterwards you know and the reality is that when you kind of have confidence in yourself that's when you know oh I have to rehearse because as I say everything gets better when it's refined and you realize oh I don't need oh I just need that one line I can take those three out well you have to have studied it a little bit to know that well I usually think it's a defense mechanism - yeah when there's a comedian or a musician who doesn't want to rehearse and they say let's just wing it there's an actor who just says let's just wing it it's gonna be great let's just wing it I know they're scared they're terrified absolutely terrified are you want a coin in Canada I am the $3.00 coin the Marty there's the loonie the tuning and the Marty is there let's talk about this are you really on a coin I am on a coin is that your image is at your face no if I was asked by the Canadian government the mint to design a coin a three dollar coin that would be sold and so I you know work with this artist we came up with this little scene kind of like a you know I had this cottage on the lakes where is this specifically three hours north of Toronto okay I've never been or been invited what was it hard to get into you have to have really made me belly laugh I see so I mean I've seen a lot of your stuff and it's great but this belly laugh thing is what I'm looking got you not cottage worthy is what you're saying so you have this card invited you many times which is true is it isn't really it's it's okay I meant to invite I've thought bubbled it fair enough that's astounding you're you're you're a coin I must ruin your a three dollar coin with three dollars they're much use for a three dollar coin in Canada there's not and you actually know if you know it's sold it's it's actually cost $50 to buy $50 to buy a three dollar coin yes sir how's that economy going out we're edge we're struggling me from keep in mind I'm sure I'm talking to show but for a while there we now have eight teams in the CFL mm-hm but for a while there we had nine teams I love teams to were called Rough Riders this is sketch one Rough Riders and the Ottawa Rough Riders and at times as a kid growing up I could pass the TV screen and I'd hear Rough Riders 28 Rough Riders seven and I no idea I go yeah I'm real happy for the Rough Riders yet I'm kind of sad for the rough it by the way did not seem remotely strange until someone Tom Hanks once said to me why is it that there are two teams Rough Riders years ago because he was amazed that I used to live on Avenue Road that also made him is there a road Avenue there is no but there's a road Lane nice now cat isn't very unkind as an amazing country it's it's health care since 1962 mm-hmm the queen is the queen of Canada queen of England I mean it's 34 million people the crime is less streets are clean great country it's a great country let's go I should be there I could I could go there with you let's go we can't hit the cottage though I'm kind of close that up that's not what I hear satellite images it's right now comedy are people of the century you met Frank Sinatra I did that's got to be one of the great highlights it was I was always afraid I think it's always daunting to meet a hero Frank Sinatra as a hero I'm not talking about I'm talking with the son Frank jr. I I was at this party was and Frank was 77 years old he's standing by at the bar by himself with a drink and I went up he was miming I couldn't believe the agility and and Dinah Shore it was a famous singer I said do you wanna meet Frank cuz she was a fan of se TV's uses hip chick and I said yeah and I went up and I said mr. Sinatra my name is Martin Short it's like 1992 I said you have no idea you have no concept of how big a fan I am of yours and just looked at me said I think I do they said what are you drinking I said whatever whatever you're drinking Frank he turned the bar to Jack Daniels so the bartender sits straight up or on the rocks and I was too nervous I thought he said straight up or relaxed I said I'll have it relaxed and frankly he said straight up on the rocks I don't Frank 15 seconds I pissed him off and then I thought you know Sooni go for the gun shoot me and I couldn't hear the album's anymore so I laughed you pissed him off I pissed him within seconds within 15-second yeah better that way what if you'd become good friends the story would be no good if we cross country yeah Pepsi shut the up don't shoot the driver this is crazy is anyone else in your family in show business or my brother Michael is a two Emmy two-time Emmy winner he wrote F CTV and it's been a very successful writer for 30 years my brother Brian is was is retired I was vice president of Dover industries mr. Norris anesthesiologist so you know accomplished and you were pre-med for a while weren't you two years how could that have happened you seem like someone that was born to be in show business how could you have why did you think for five seconds that you would you you would go into medicine I was a fan of Quincy you love the way Klugman could handle stuff he was a coroner so no I you know I'll tell you what it was I grew up in Hamilton Ontario Canada and in the 60s you know you couldn't get Charmin in the in Canada the first thing I did when I'm in the United States is can I squeeze that I mean I was fascinated they were Prada Bosco you couldn't get things that I would see in American television so America seemed like it's like Venus or something it just didn't seem realistic I think if I'd grown up in New York maybe I would have had a different attitude so I was literally a 14 year old kid who was up in my attic with an applause record you got a real real typical that I had made from Sinatra at the sands and I recorded applause and I blue loop it loop it loop it so and I pretended to have my own imaginary television show I was on NBC at 8:30 every other Tuesday which left room for my imaginary film career and I had a cause record I had a gooseneck lamp because even then I needed you know something on the eyes and thanks and and I would type things up for TV Guide and I you know do Tony Bennett and I'd read from Playboy and read the interview of Eldridge Cleaver you're people are struggling what can I do to help you know I read his part and I'd read the other part and then something to go dinner and then we'd take later and I used to do this I and yet at no time did anyone say hey do you want to go to show business because it just wasn't a realistic journey the feeling I had growing up my dad is a doctor and a research scientist and brilliant guy and my mom was a lawyer but I was constantly performing for my friends constantly and I was obsessed with it but I never for a second thought that it was a career I didn't see any I remembered seeing Robert Urich once shooting something on the streets of Boston and I saw Robert Urich that was my exposure to show business that was all I had was Robert Urich I mean I thought it's not often enough no but I I it feels a little bit like today it's a more accessible dream for anybody I think the Internet I think absolutely and and reality television makes you know Snooki's on the cover of peeple so you go well it must be therefore it must be accessible to anyone yeah but and I also I didn't I knew right away I guess from watching television that the chances of being successful were remote and I did not want to be not successful I did anything I did I want to be I didn't want to be broke I didn't so when I started in enacting I had done for years University and I thought I will give myself one year and if I don't make a living in one year then I will go back to school do Master's do something and accept it so because I always knew that if you the key to it all was to look in the mirror at 50 and say well maybe you should have tried being an actor and you go oh that's right you did try being an actor no one ever ever ever hired you so for many many years I would like renew my private contract with myself it would be like approaching May and I think all right do we give it another year he would go back all right let's give it another year cuz I was working you know and I was a minute you're getting the minute you're paying your rent through you're through performing right for me it was the the minute I got out of college and I was making some money as a comedy writer that extended my deadline Russ long as I'm I'm paying for my you must know people and I certainly have known people that have struggled for years within our you know working as waiters or in stores and and they will not give up the dream and now they're 33 another 35 I don't not regard that as admirable and committed and they're saying I'd kill to have something else to do I want to follow my passionate Road I get it and and I just personally wouldn't have done that I say to my kids you know I three kids I say you know I don't care if you have any money at 30 but I would like to think you had stumbled on some sort of passion and something's gonna fuel your interests it's about your life the other stuff would come along but I I just knew it was a treacherous road but I was very lucky at the beginning you know and I got all these things and I just kept working alright we have the internet this down I want you to frighten you with this internets this is pronounced internets please the less you say I think that's bad or at before this is a device I want you to be frightened we have fans that are watching mm-hmm and I'm supposed to read you this fan question we're gonna do two with you maybe you need your trifocals or are you pretending that you don't wear them if I knew who you were right now I wouldn't sell you I cannot see beyond I understand here we go Joanne from facebook asks did you ever develop a character that no one would let you play on TV or movies no but you certainly would do characters that wouldn't work out and you never saw them again I remember an se TV I was playing at the time definitely there was a guy in you know on the waterfront all he would say is definitely so my character was going to a lot of definitely hop back and at the end of Stan or whatever his name was I mean he was gone we when I was at starting out live I remember Jon Lovitz was you know he'd had the lyre and he had had a couple characters hit his master thespian he was obsessed with getting another catchphrase he wanted that and you've seen in a million today there's someone so badly once I want my new catchphrase so he was convinced that it was a character who said goodbye everybody goodbye and that's all he had and he kept coming up to us in the hallway and saying anything for my goodbye guy it's like we I don't know what leads into it I don't know and so he started going on update and I don't know if they burned the tapes or what started going on update and they'd say like you know well you know in Dennis Miller would throw to him and say oh thanks everybody anybody have a great time goodbye everybody goodbye but anyway I think President Reagan is definitely is gonna finish his term so - goodbye everybody goodbye after watching it like this isn't it needs to be hooked into something but he was obsessed with goodbye everybody goodbye it never went off and now I've resurrected it John was John is so funny it's so funny his commitment his his original there is only one Jon Lovitz yes so do you think yeah I mean he's covered he has one brand of comedy I can you see things I think Oh Jon Lovitz would even better than that cuz he has that thing can you watch I always think Jon Lovitz if had he would have been if he had been born in a different era would have been signed up by a studio to be the character actor who played that one guy in every film because that's how it used to work right he would be that guy that he played in you know the women baseball movie yeah but he would be a guy who always had a pencil he did who it is he'd be that character and he'd be in 60 movies but I think because he now he's to me a soul from another era that because he was oh he was the only one who was living with us in our present era it made him more provocative more original and a bigger storm yeah let me ask you quickly can you watch other people perform comedy and lose yourself in it or is it next to impossible because I'm sitting there with jealousy competitive you can see the seams you can see what they're doing oh they're going for this they're going for that see old number 53 be or can you I think truthfully if it's the old number of 53 be no but if I'm looking at I remember when I was when I was asked to go into Senate live and I had now finished sctv and I was very hesitant because I had a new baby and I really didn't I just thought it just seems like so I'd heard all this I just finished three years of Senate live and I thought I mean sctv and I thought you know just good la we rented a house and Dick Ebersol phoned me up Lorne wasn't doing it then and said you know would you like to do the show and and this is who were going after and there's Billy Crystal Christopher Guest Harry Shearer and rich all these great people and I said well if you get them phone me back I'm thinking you're not gonna get those Chris Chris guess isn't gonna do say a line right and he said yes so now I'm gonna do it so now I have a month and a half to think about it you know and I remember seeing spinal tap and looking at him going I can't I can't come I can't be in the same ballpark with these guys this guy Christopher Guest is like I knew Billy Billy and I had known each other but I had never met Chris knew Harry a little bit I thought he was too brilliant I can't I mean so wasn't for me certainly it was not me sitting back and saying oh he's making that move I think I got lost in it yeah I got lost so I think you can get lost me when spinal tap came out it was a revelation yeah now there's so much comedy and I'm sure there's revelations for people today younger people today I don't quite know what they are but I'm sure they're having those moments themselves I remembered I think I want to say it was 1983 or 84 spinal tap came out or was it was the summer of 1984 yeah I remember when it came out and just sort of hit reset it hit a reset button right gotta go so um yeah I love to I mean Bill Hader to me is one of the most brilliant fed Armisen yeah Kristen Wiig really and fantastically talented people yeah and you can just enjoy them yeah yeah okay boom on from facebook asks what's your favorite song to sing in the shower is that all there is used to be and then I stopped looking down incredible I think that's pretty fast that was fantastic Thanks I was good wasn't clever and it was dated and what is that song God it was 53 see I see Sarah I'd like to sing the shower I'm a big singer in the shower what do you like to sing is it old show tunes no it's it's it's uh you're not singing you know radio don't watch this quickly yeah no i yeah what am i doing I got a feeling sometimes I'm making up songs I got a feeling that today's gonna be a sunshine day I do I do sometimes I'll do that again I don't watch anything I'm too busy performing my wife occasionally we first oh she likes to sing in the shower anyway what's your question sorry thought you knew didn't but I get it she'll hear a hole I taught I just all kinds of there's a show that goes on in my bathroom every night and she has had other people hear it she's singing know me I'm talking and saying how do you listen here see I mean I'm I I go and I if I know are you doing voices from old movies like that or are you venting it's a combination sometimes I'm venting so are you venting in an old yes I will I will talk I enjoy that era of speaking I grew up on Jimmy Cagney movies angels with dirty faces they've showed them all the time and I love that fast yeah pat her but there's a lot of me yelling and confronting myself in the mirror and shouting at a bar of soap and she's used to it which I find sad but it's it's but you are medicated yes oh yes never Lee as are we both and we'll be Amy go out to have dinner yeah I know we're out have dinner tonight yes whose ping it should be you because I'm doing this show and it seems like it should be the show picking up the tab traditionally when I go out with Conan the bill just sits there we keep going to the bathroom hoping the other we don't care of it I've stayed in that bathroom for two hours one time oh I see I used to think you had an impediment in your reach I'm gonna wrap this up uh China don't you want to get some stuff that can be used all right this was just us testing ray we're testing the equipment thank you thanks for having me drive to Burbank this will never ever be seen mm-hmm I'm gonna end the way I started and that's to say Anna Ben's business a long time this gentleman right here is in my opinion the funniest guy out there and I said something to you at the Vanity Fair party and I'm just dropping that because I don't get invited a lot of places I ran into you and I'd mentioned this to a lot of people and I'll mention it to you and I'll I'll scream it to the rooftops every year they talk about Oscar hosts and I think who's funnier than Martin Short who's actually has a body of film work and young people think you're really funny I think you're you'd be the ultimate Oscar host well thank you very much and I have no power in this town so that I know can't make it happen in my even suggesting it may see you what to do yeah may make people think wait a second we must be nuts exactly that I just wanted to get that out there well you know personally I personally think you are genetically engineered to host that show genetically I think you were built in a lab by Nazis to host the Oscars and I think you would absolutely destroy your thinking away though truthfully it's slightly a no-win situation that you work for eight months and then they say how about that Adrien Brody kiss because it's about the Oscars I think you would take a very long I would enjoy all the moments that you were on screen and I think everyone else would enjoy all the moments that you were on screen and they'd be a couple of flamethrowers on the internet that would say I didn't like it when he said XY or Z but no one would care yeah you would be look at Steve Martin he does it and people are satisfied they're more than satisfied what about you doing it let's be more realistic I have a thin Reedy voice I'm annoying can't that be beneficial in a host I guess not no not at all I have very uh almost non-existent genitalia I'm off-putting and I've made a lot of enemies in this town the conversation is you you're the guy that should do it and what an epitaph yeah let's the gravestones been made do you know what says am i grazed oh what's that one word what's that almost I'm ending this only because I want to go and have dinner yeah where's guy and there's gonna be a lot of drinking oh and chat and may I add gossip we're both mean Jimmy nlogn Hollywood yeah can we admit that we're mean gossips yeah we're mean sons of fantastic Martin Short there is nobody funnier and they never will be that's it for us jibber jabber blah blah internet good night

Channel: Team Coco

Views: 1,280,524

Rating: 4.8563967 out of 5

Keywords: CONAN, Comedy, Conan O'Brien (Author), Ed Grimley, Martin Short (Author), Miley Cyrus, SCTV, SNL, Serious Jibber-Jabber, TBS, Team Coco, Twerking, VMA, andy richter, best moments of conan, celebrity interview, celebrity interviews, coco, conan best, conan best moments, conan brien, conan classic, conan funny interviews, conan funny moments, conan obrien interview, conan obrien podcast, conan on tbs, conan remotes, funny moments on conan, talk show, talk show hosts, top 10 conan

Id: b5lsYCEgqDA

Length: 62min 43sec (3763 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 20 2013

Reddit Comments

[u/brock_lee]

Worst. Exchange Rate. Ever.

[u/richardhead6666]

Geminy glick?

[u/FS4JQ]

Comedy Legend

3 Amigos was funny.......what else has Short ever been funny in?