MARRIAGE WITHOUT TEARS | Funke Felix-Adejumo

[Music] [Music] tell me [Applause] right [Music] [Applause] my [Music] all right is that a reality [Applause] oh [Applause] marriage without tears that's powerful wow and i'm going to be speaking from my heart to the reverend i think it's okay i just flew from my heart to you marriage without tears that presupposes that there are some marriages that are with tears that you would think somebody is cutting onions in the relationship so let's dissect tonight and see how to go about it so let's try and dissect tonight by god's grace i have written and published 107 books my books are on amazon and there's a particular book that is titled marriage is for destiny i'm going to be speaking from that book tonight it took me four years to write that book it's on amazon you can get your copy marriage is many things to many people if you're married here let me see your answer i just want to see my audience oh fantastic okay great your marriage marriage is many things to many people to some people marriage is a necessary evil it's necessary but it's evil as far as they are concerned to some people marriage is a mere social contracts please mind my words tonight so some people marriage is a necessary evil so some other people marriage is a mere social contract to be run and guided by traditions and superstitious beliefs a woman should only be seen not hard it's okay if a man commits adultery in fact if he impregnates somebody the family will just come one day early in the morning and then we call mama sit down somebody something cannot become true and you will be angry if your husband cannot talk to you we can talk to you he made a mistake and there's nobody above mistake okay oh yeah you two need them neither and they will carry their hand you've been married for 15 years the labor is too much she will be helping you in the kitchen helping you to wash plates okay maya you see nicole wow superstitions and traditions superstitions and traditions once you get married don't ever as a girl come back to this house because your room is no longer vacant even if the man is killing you stay there and be praying and fasting ah you are thirteen and you are not yet married you need deliverance every spiritual husband catch a cha cha cha cha cha cho come out the entire universe runs on laws when god created the planet earth he put laws in place as his modus operandi and he gave us brain each of us has a minimum of 10 billion and it is a million cells in our brains some have 14 so as a human being you have between 10 and 14 billion cells in your brain you know why so that you will not be disturbing god so that you can think and live your life there are things you don't need to pray or fast about you only need to think one of the laws there are many laws that govern the universe one of the laws is the law of learning the law of education and the first characteristic of that law is repetition you came into church this evening you sat down the reason you were able to sit down is because you have sat down before repetition the bible is the most powerful book on earth everything is in the bible faith comments by hearing and hearing everybody let's recite the multiplication table two times one two two times two four two times two times four okay okay clap for yourselves do you know that there was a time if your teacher asks you two times six times two times if you were in my edge bracket we will look for stones two like this two two two you couldn't say two times six twelve so the teacher had to make you sing it because the teacher that's what you call unconscious competence the teacher knew that the law of learning is characterized by repetition so the teacher says repeat it start singing and then you begin to sing and sing and today look at you repetition everything you know to do today has been because you have repeated it when your baby only when your baby was young and the baby was trying to walk he maybe felt like he said oh you know you're going to be a king tomorrow you know you're a prince don't stand up don't stand up no you encourage the child to start because you understand that the child will be able to walk if the child walks repetition the law of gravity says you jump up you must come down it is the law there's no devil satan jesus said i will not i will not come down i'm jumping lie whether you're a muslim or you're a christian whether you are poor because laws are absolute laws are universal laws are impersonal i went into all these to say that the reason why a lot of us have believed certain beliefs about marriage is because of repetition we've seen it modeled to us so as i was growing up my mother will bring water for my father to drink and my mother will kneel down while my father will be drinking a fellow human being kneeling down to give you water and the water no choke you you would have not choked you are you there drinking because of culture tradition and superstition so when i got married 38 years ago i brought it into marriage every morning i was kneeled down to greet my mother even when he travels my telephone came on my on the telephone i was sitting down to greet him and i thought that was submission listen to the next statement i'm about to make the illiterates of the 21st century are not the people that cannot read or write that the people that cannot unlearn what kind of marriage has been modeled to you because sometimes what we see is not bible it is culture a woman should submit submit some will even quote paul paul that was never married if paul were to rewrite the bible now there are certain things he will not put there because the times have changed hebrews chapter one and verse number one god who at sundry times you stole this is how he does it now principles don't change but methods change and if you refuse to change you will be changed for the literacy of the 21st century are not the people that cannot read or write but the people that cannot unlearn and relearn so in africa we define submission to favor the man because we run a patriarchal society and the same men that are in the society are in charge of politics so they make policies that favor patriarchs the same men are the majority in ministry and church so you go to some churches and they say a woman must cover her head a body a body a body while prayer is going why not did you did you did you have prayers going on how did you see me that's your body the woman is nothing i'm talking about how marriages are wrong in ministry the woman is nothing even in this nation like nigeria women are begging give us 35 percent there was nothing hillary clinton could have done at that time that would have made her the president of america we run the patriarchal society it's been on for years it took us years and years to get here so it will take us years to get out but some of us are leading a vanguard some men are leading a vanguard some women are living in a vanguard that look no child is inferior to another a child and this is how we started when a woman gives birth the first question is what did he burn what is she born when you ask me that silly question i always reply um cannot be shy and then we move on as the children begin to grow and your baby boy falls down and is crying and they begin to say hello why are you crying like a girl remember the law of learning repetition repetition so the child hears it over and over and over again says okay a man is not supposed to cry a man is supposed to bottle everything in even if his wife is abusing him he must not talk he must not cry go come and shy and the last time somebody went to the police to report the police were just laughing your wife they beat you you see our society and then as we grow we begin to concentrate on the girl child when you sit down close your legs don't wear any provocative dress you must know how to cook when your mother-in-law comes this is how you do you must give your husband sex you must do this even me i preach it who preaches to the male child who prepares the male child for marriage so dementia grows up he notices that daddy or the male figure is always in charge in church and ministry the male figure is always in charge in politics the male figure is always in charge in society and then he grows up with an entitlement mentality it's even made worse when mummies would tell the children if you are again come to the kitchen come on ramila what come on why the boys are playing football so the boy grows up gets into marriage looking for a cook and there are not many boys that cannot prepare my mind i love your reactions [Music] marriage without tears i don't want to come to obama's tabernacle of power and then i begin to to talk about the symptoms the effects without looking at the curse how did we get here why do we need to start talking about marriage without is marriage supposed to be with tears this is how we started it and charity begins at home so the child saw daddy that mummy could not confront daddy that it was the line of the tribe of their family daddy dwells out money to his house health in fact sometimes when that is upset that he refuses to eat a beanie opera he's not hungry when he's hungry he will microwave the food of yesterday so the boy grew up seeing daddy as untouchable a lot of education a lot of learning when rape takes place you two why did you go through his house at night as if his house is a lie he's a lion's den you too why did you wear a short dress you too the blame comes it is so bad that even when the woman is being abused you will see her making excuses for her abuser i must be the one that provoked him he's not like that he's not that bad though he still sent us to dubai three years ago my seventh children we went if you grow up as a young boy and you think pain is confused sending your children and your wife to the abroad buying business class tickets is all that responsibility marriage entails wake up you are dreaming because now women can base coffees now women can buy their own tickets now women can go to the abroad don't write their broad i'm trying to demystify superstitions tradition that we have come to believe and whatever is satin inside the bible because we've heard it over and over again so people we will say the bible says and you see authority figures committing this crime wedding day the bible reading for this wedding it's ephesians chapter 5 beginning from verse 22. excuse me sir whatever verse 21 whatever verse 21. the little mathematics that i know 21 precedes 22. how come there is only 22 you always start from submitting one to another in the fear of god how did we get here just trying to help you trust the african culture in particular where a man can marry as many wives as possible and they all go to the to the farm they all label including the man and when they are returning the man holds only one useless cutlass which which is driving away imaginary flies and greeting people that do not require his greetings why the woman carries love with pregnancy and then she gets home to run to the kitchen again while the man sits beside or before a transistor already you see this is why we have tears in marriage but the bible says if the foundation will be destroyed i have good news for you because even in building technology now you can go and google it there is a technology now that can go to the foundation of your house and repair it in fact they did one recently thinking maybe australia and russia they lifted the building put it somewhere repaired the foundation and brought the building back oh you don't believe that listen some people are already thinking how to put swimming pool inside the plane some people already thinking how to put football field on the plane and i believe them because 30 years ago who could have told us already that will be we will have our offices on it on our palm and you will pray something sent which is i mean nothing new australia pam few years ago we always it was always a queue at um nigel and we'll be shouting secular that's why some of us do shout on the phone because we are so used to shouting what was more dealt to you can be the cause of the tears because now the person you want to marry has become aware is enlightened and will not take what your mother or your grandmother used to take from your grandfather and now you see she's not submitting submission bible submission is not slavery bible submission is not subjugation it is strength put under control i am heavy i'm a multi-millionaire i'm anointed you are heavy you're a multi-millionaire you are anointed i choose to allow you be in charge because every plane has a pilot but every plane also has no husband knows everything no wife knows everything it's about synergy you don't want tears your wife knows better about money let her manage it your husband knows better there are things i don't even dabble into because it's just not my area it's just natural for my husband to handle it in the marriage there are things what doesn't even bother about he knows how we fix it it's about the synergy you don't want tears stay on your leg and allow your spouse to shine so some people marriage is an organized forum for child bearing and child rare they don't want to be giving birth everywhere so let's get back organized forum the woman is a baby factory machine that's it in africa the wife is like a glorified slave so in the african culture there is no marriage in the western world marriage is like a business for better first day for whatever forget about what you will see in movies make believe that's not their real life some of them are in their seventh marriages marriage so don't be deceived it's not everything you see on social media that you should believe of course you know so marriage is neither western nor nor african marriage is a gift of god and the blessings of the lord it make us rich and they are dead no soul fear that we're talking about here it's not the joyful tear i can't just teach me where no it is tear that comes out of pain god did not intend that that's proverbs 10 22 god did not intend that we will have sorrow in our marriages therefore if we are not going to have sorrow and tears i want to share a few things with the singles and then i wrap it up with a marriage i'm a marriage counselor it will shock you the kind of things that bring tears to marriages this is how it starts when you get married you move from endurance to patience what's the perseverance there is no relationship there is no human relationship on earth where your christianity will be tried by decision of marriage sometimes we wake up and say we show that happened yesterday we're still married because it's two people coming together from different backgrounds there are things you will outgrow there are things you will pray about there are things you will manage there are weaknesses that god will never remove and it is not this is not blasphemy god will only give you grace and wisdom to manage it when god called moses he said i missed time read the bible god never healed him i'm not talking about you it's my weakness so let's balance this new [Music] i'm talking about human connection i'm talking about things that you need to mature and grow you know and outgrow so please before you go into marriage this is what happens when we talk about marriage without tears and i said ah there's no marriage without tears we have tears of joy now but we also have some tears it's just that as you begin to grow in grace the tears reduce you are no longer a cry cry baby every little thing you cry you two you now grow you mature and you get your lips better but you will thank god you know it's marriage because proximity the fact that in my village they say the person you sleep beside you will roll over so as my friend is there now no matter what he does he cannot step on me because there's no proximity when you get married you have invited someone officially to invade your privacy i mean invade so you can't complain every marriage that we succeed that we fail will go through several stages divorce is the final stage they are talking about diversity that's the final stage before divorce a lot has gone into it that's what we call reality stage huh so you snore like this madam without your makeup so your pants is like this when reality will show are we on the same page those of us that are married marriage is a privilege it's a great honor is a blessing from god it's a gift of god and you can choose to enjoy your marriage your marriage can never be exactly like another person's marriage build your own invest time in your marriage love is just a feeling don't marry just because of love it's a feeling unlike any emotion it degenerates with time particularly if it is not invested into so we keep investing into our marriages so my husband keeps telling me i love you before he drops the phone it's intentional we keep putting in effort at that point it is friendship that sustains the marriage so if you marry someone that is not your friend so make sure you build friendship in marriage you will need it in the evening of your life my generator starts packing up when you can no longer have sex every day even if you want to your physical body will tell you come down it is friendship that sustains marriage at that time and it doesn't because winners are only declared in the ring they are not made in the ring this is the time to start building the friendship if you're in marriage i've been married at eight years so if there's someone you need to listen to i'm here i'm telling you what is real start building the friendship now you cannot just be in the living room as a married couple five years of marriage two years of marriage one year of marriage 13 years of marriage and the one is sitting there and the other one is sitting here and the man is busy watching arsenal and backer and he's screaming what are you doing madam come close to him pillow your head on his chest ah my disturbing me disturb where it is not well in your mind at the back of your mind you are building friendship out of sight is out of mind so you are both watching i had to by first be watching football i had to buy first be watching my husband as a place table tennis i can't really play maybe i can only serve but if you are playing with my husband and i'm there i will so much distract you you will lose because i'm trying to pass a message across to my husband that i believe in you hey every shot come on hey you know you know i know that and when you suffer i say bro it broke jesus name you know just to register my presence in his hobby marriage is hard work do not allow in-laws coming between you as a man be the man indeed when it comes to handling your family particularly in this part of the world where the woman is not supposed to talk back i think be the one that will defend your wife that's the reason why your right hand was free on your wedding day with your left hand the left ventricle close to your heart you held your wife but with the right hand you're supposed to defend her man up in-laws have destroyed too many marriages and they bring tears tears of frustration so these marriages let's stop it that woman will feel loved feel appreciated marriage takes its toll on a woman and you don't want to add adultery to it one woman said to me that two of her sisters lived with her and as we speak the two of them have children for the husband even as i speak to you i mean pains on her behalf you don't commend your wife but you comment everybody in church you comment everybody in the office ah this is your hero this year and you don't do that for your wife at all because familiarity breeds content just like a guest speaker it's always my anointed that they passed on you know your pastor that nurses you and stands beside you at the hospital i'm done now i'm on my way is it not your pastor that we stand will you call me do you even have my number it's not your pastor that labors over you when the guest speaker comes and says for god so love you but the guest speaker says nonsense yeah preach marriages today that are in tears perpetually because of what they are attacking heaven is replying they are attacking and the people they are attacking are doing good to them either repaired evil for good evil shall not develop from his house is in the bible are you seeing this you might say we bless god for you we thank god for you as a couple let's begin to take note of this as i close today jesus christ is the center of history if you allow him in your life on your home it will shock you how the times of tears will be reducing if you let him be your lord and your savior marriage is sweet depending on the cutlery you used to eat it from today be intentional about how you live your marital life i bless all of you in the name of jesus christ you will not marry your enemies your children will not marry their enemies and they will not marry your enemies the lord will bless you and do you good and be gracious to you there's any marriage going through stone we command peace be still every frustration we command you to keep quiet in the name of jesus wisdom to build finances to build have to build may heaven release to you in the name of jesus you are blessed as you go out blessed as you come in if you are waiting on the lord for the blessing of the womb this year you will laugh trusting god for who to marry this year you will rejoice i bless this ministry in the name of jesus stop to the next level the name of god the father god the son and god the holy spirit everybody shout hallelujah [Applause] okay [Applause] uh [Applause] [Music] i [Applause] [Music]

Channel: Funke Felix-Adejumo

Views: 139,614

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Id: NDWyQWn2wtw

Length: 39min 29sec (2369 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 24 2022