Marriage: Falling in Love | Stephen Bailiff | Cypress Campus

i had a conversation this last week with a couple people it was an interesting conversation it was about uh pay phones okay and how we have an entire generation of people who will never experience putting a quarter and paying for a call right that's just totally new it's it's gone it'll never come back you know bell-bottom jeans may come back but pay phones won't we are so incredibly connected in fact this generation is the most connected generation in the history of mankind thanks to this little contraption and to the world wide web we know what's going on when it's going on we keep up with so many people in every area of your life you are connected in fact so many people have thousands of friends followers people they follow and yet 2021 is the most lonely the most depressed the most suicidal and the most frustrated generation of all of history when you look at what we are approaching and dealing with with mental health and with loneliness how can a society be so connected and yet so lonely at the same time we learned last week that god is relational we learned that from the beginning of time eternity backwards that it was god the father god the son and god the holy spirit that god in his nature is relational and that he created us in his own image and when he looked at one man being alone he said this isn't good he understood that we as human beings need to be in relationships we need to be growing and developing in friendships co-worker relationships marriages dating relationships all different types of relationships and if you're the most introverted place person in this place or the most extroverted there is a great need that god has placed in each one of us for relationships god is an amazing architect an amazing designer and he's designed you to need relationships and so if there's a design there's got to be a purpose last week we talked about the importance of marriage for a society for a culture for you for our church family and whether you're single or you're single again or you're you're married you need to understand that marriage is vital for every society and every culture study the history of mankind marriage is at the center of how well and how successful a culture is and we need to understand that but this morning it's not the importance of relationship it's really the purpose or the goal of relationships and i want to look at three different areas it's going to hit every person in here so don't think that this doesn't affect you because first of all is why what is god's goal for relationships there's lots of goals i'm going to look at one biblical goal of relationship and how it expands to every relationship that you're involved with proverbs 27 17. for as iron sharpens iron so one person sharpens another as iron sharpens iron this is what god's word says i have created you to be in relationship with others whether it's a co-worker whether it's a friend whether it's a spouse whether it's a boyfriend or girlfriend whether it's your neighbor teammate you are in a relationship to sharpen one another you are in a relationship to make the other person better and to learn and grow from that person doesn't say you have to sharpen you're sharpening them as they are sharpening you relationships have a goal it's not what can i get out of this relationship but how can i make this person closer to christ how can i make this person grow in their relationship with christ every relationship that you're in and when you walk throughout this week i challenge you the person that sits next to you the person that you ride the bus with the person that you're in line with that good friend or that friend that follows you on facebook that only reaches out on your birthday that says happy birthday automatic response god has placed you in a relationship for a purpose and that goal is to sharpen them it may be an evangelistic goal i need to lead them to christ or it may be a discipleship goal i need to grow them up in christ how can i encourage them how can i correct them how can i spur them on to being more and more like jesus christ that is the goal of relationships god didn't isolate us because he understood that we are relational beings and when we're relational beings we ought to just not get out of relationships we ought to just not receive i get a lot of requests on instagram and facebook and especially linkedin and i get these requests and i look at it and i try to put it through the filter does this person want to be sharpened does this person really want to have a relationship with me are they just simply networking see the sin in our lives make us enter into relationships going what can i get out of this relationship how can this relationship benefit me how can i network and sell more of this or let how can i get something out of it the goal of relationships is how can i create this relationship to be a sharpening and a growing relationship that is the goal you are relational for a reason god has a goal for putting you where you sit in the office or in english class or where you're positioned on your street or wherever you hang out with people and see the same faces over and over you need to seize that goal and say how am i sharpening and how do i approach someone who may be further along in their relationship with jesus and how can i let that person grow me how can i be encouraged and spurred on and challenged to be a man of god or a woman of god because they're in my life we must always be discipling growing encouraging sharpening and we must always place ourselves in relationships that will encourage us to grow every person in here is in a relationship that you need to be growing and encouraging and spurring and sharpening and every person in here needs to be in a relationship where someone is encouraging you encouraging me to grow and develop in my relationship with jesus christ that is relationship 101 now everybody's in those types of relationships now everybody falls into one of two categories single or there is a goal for singleness and i want you to know that that if you have your bibles flip over to first corinthians chapter 7 because i'm going to read you what paul says the goal for being single is and there are different singles here if you're 15 years old of course you're single you may be single for a season you may be single for a reason you may be single or you may be single again but there is a purpose and a goal for singleness look at what paul says and i think we're going to be surprised and we're going to learn we're going we're going to learn even as married folks how to approach our single friends first corinthians 7 starting with verse 32. but i want you to be free from concern one who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the lord how he may please the lord but the one who is married is concerned about the things of the world how he may please his wife what the bible says they're his wives you're a distraction okay men don't amend that hang on there's there's there's more and his interests are divided the woman who is unmarried and the virgin is concerned about the things of the lord that she may be holy both in body and spirit but the one who is married is concerned about the things of the world how she may please her husband yes husbands you are too a distraction all right because you're no good without her verse 35 this i say for your own benefit not to put a con a restraint upon you but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the lord singles your goal for being single is that you can have undistracted devotion to the lord this is amazing instead of consuming your mind about finding mr right or mrs wright here's what you need to consume your mind with because i'm single because i don't have the distraction of a spouse because i don't have to divide my time between god and that that husband or god and that wife i can be under i just absolutely no distractions devoted to the lord i tell my single friends hey instead of worrying about it and consuming your mind with finding that person fall in love with jesus because you have time you can serve jesus you can serve the church you can grow in the lord like people who are married can't this is what paul says it's okay to be married i'm not saying that you you know you have to be married i'm saying that if you're single why don't you use that opportunity to be just absolutely devoted to the lord now he says it's okay because he's talking to the married folks there because he understood that married folks it's not our goal in life to match up our single friends and find them the right person for some reason every married person thinks it's their goal to find a spouse for their single friends stop instead spur one one another on to grow and love and encourage their intimacy with christ so use this time you may not be single for long but utilize this time for undistracted devotion to the lord utilize this opportunity that you can be focused on your growth with christ and i promise you the more that you fall head over heels in love with jesus the more that he will give you the desire of your heart and if it's his will that perfect perfect not perfect the mr right or mr mrs right for you will come along that's what will happen but you don't focus on finding him or her you focus on jesus undevote un undistracted devotion to the lord that is why some are called to be single because god wants your heart and your devotion and he doesn't want it to be divided now that's all relationships it's single now let's look at married folks our goal in marriage is found in ephesians 5 31. god's goal for marriage for this reason what reason i'm in 5 31 for marriage for this reason for being married a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh the goal of marriage isn't not to get a divorce the goal of marriage isn't not to have an affair the goal of marriage the biblical goal god's goal for your marriage and my marriage is one flesh you may have heard this this term one flesh and man how in the world does that apply to my marriage i'm glad you asked because the rest of this time and next week we're gonna talk about what it looks like to have a one flesh marriage and it's gonna be vitally important for all of our singles to understand what that looks like so that they can approach a relationship with the the end goal in mind of one flesh he gives us a very quick process there in genesis jesus quotes it in mark chapter 10 and and then paul quotes it here in ephesians 5 he says this is the process of one flesh to leave to be united and to become one to leave become united and then become one now the first thing is leave you have to leave it says you must leave your father and your mother now back in biblical times the man would live with his parents until it was time for him to be united with his wife so there was literally a getting out of their roof or underneath their roof leaving your identity your economic security sometimes even your occupation and starting a brand new family with a brand new life you would leave your parents now 21st century we have people who are they left their house a decade ago and then they're getting married so what do you leave in the 21st century before you become one flesh you leave what it means to be single you leave your old life you leave some of those practices that are going to make it difficult for two to become one flesh you don't leave your personality you don't leave your interests but what you do is you leave that lifestyle of i am number one dr young covered it a couple weeks ago joy jesus others and yourself you leave the selfishness that is often related to when you live by yourself you do what you want to do when you want to do it you think how you want to do it and if you don't want to do the dishes you leave them in there for a week that's what you leave i have a friend of mine who is 40 before the first time he got married he didn't leave his mother and his father he had lived longer by himself be in singleness than he had with his mother and father all of those roots that he had those had already been uprooted and basically he had developed roots of being single and when he was 40 he got married and he had to leave that lifestyle of you know what i'm number one i do whatever i want to do whenever i want to do it and i'm going to have to leave some of those selfish tendencies so that i can number two be united the genesis when he originally creates marriage and he kind of blesses adam and eve in the first wedding he says you leave you and you cleave he uses the term cleave it is a joining together in the consummation of a marriage it is an intimacy that makes this relationship different and unique from all other relationships there are billions of people on this earth but you were only called to leave and to cleave to be united in an intimate way with one other person you can have great friendships you can have great family members that are so close to you but there is only one leaving cleave and that is really what gives us this supernatural math that one plus one equals one it's not bad math aggies it is super natural math and in order to have supernatural math you have to have a supernatural glue that allows one plus one to equal one and that glue is jesus christ you cannot have a supernatural mathematic united union between a husband and a wife without having jesus christ in the center that's why when you stand before the pastor in the church and you say i do you're vowing not to one another you're vowing to one another with jesus in the middle of that and it allows us to leave to unite and to become one flesh a supernatural a brand new person not stephen not tiffany but us as a married couple we become a brand new person together leaving the past behind being united in a way that no one else can i unite with and becoming one flesh it's super natural and it's a gift the goal of marriage is to become one it is immediate and it is a process what does it look like we're going to show you next week you don't want to miss next week how do you do it you leave you cleave and you become one flesh you do it with christ in the center we can try our hardest and lots of effort but if christ isn't in the middle of your marriage you will never successfully reach the goal that god established for marriage and that's becoming one flesh and when you see couples who have done it successfully when you are sharpening one another if you're in a you're a newlywed or you've been married for single digits man i would find you somebody that's married for 50 years and i would watch them and i'd take him to dinner and i'd ask him questions because when you've seen this done it is a beautiful picture of god's purpose and his goal in marriage it is a beautiful picture of why god intended us not only to be relational with friends and co-workers and and family members but why god intended for a man to leave his mother and his father to cleave to his wife to be united to his wife and the two to become one flesh it says in verse 32 right after paul says that in ephesians 5 he says this is the mystery and i'm talking about jesus and the church he compares the union between a man and a wife to the sacrifice that jesus made and the love and commitment that the spouse has for the groom it's a beautiful picture we'll elaborate more on that we'll figure out how to do that paul tells us in ephesians he gives us how do you become one flesh we're going to look at that but god has created us relationally how are you striving and seeking in every relationship in every relationship to glorify and honor him the coolest thing about god and being relational is the fact that christianity doesn't promote religion it promotes relationship all other world religions say if you do this and you do this and you cross all your t's and you dot all your eyes and you check all these lists then you may achieve this union with god but what scripture says what truth is is that for god so loved the world that he gave key in relationships his only son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life that all who confess with their mouth and believe in their heart he gives them the right to become children of god this is an amazing fact about the way christianity gets god right is the fact that he doesn't call us into a religion god calls us into a relationship god loves us so much that he gave his son so that our holy heavenly father can have a relationship with sinful me and the greatest relationship isn't a friendship it's not a family it's not even your spouse the greatest relationship that you can enter into in this world is a relationship with god through jesus christ 27 years ago i stood in on a stage exchanged rings exchanged vows and tiffany and i said i do we were serious before that we were engaged before that but it wasn't until we made that commitment it wasn't before we said yes to one another that we are actually entered into that marriage relationship just being in church may mean you're committed to understanding god but you're not in a relationship with him until you confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that jesus christ was raised from the dead then you're just dating but i can tell you god this morning wants to be in a relationship with you he wants it so badly that he sent his son to die on the cross so that you could have a relationship that will last in eternity it will change your life and bring you purpose and peace and love and a joy that this world cannot offer but you have to say yes

Channel: Second Baptist Church, Houston

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Keywords: second baptist church houston, cypress, stephen bailiff

Id: r1gx2k9IH-g

Length: 21min 28sec (1288 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 13 2021