A Great Marriage! | Dr. Ed Young | West Campus

marriage it's author was god god gave to humanity mankind [Music] marriage it is the most important relationship outside of our one with jesus christ we will ever ever ever have it's the number one relationship in the world god gave it god authored it god defined it is the highest pinnacle that we can have in this life now parenthetically if you're single just god has a word for us because we're going to be talking about relationships for weeks to come so hang in there but we all need to understand the pinnacle of marriage the pinnacle of marriage marriage is sacred it is holy it is beautiful it is to be celebrated now we've already discovered there are three kinds of marriages they're bad marriages they're okay marriages and there are great marriages somebody said well my marriage sometimes it's bad sometimes it's okay sometimes it great no that won't work that's not how marriage operates doesn't mean if we have a great marriage we do not have problems and challenges and difficulties oh no but a great marriage is encompassed because the husband and wife are living by god's formula for marriage i got carried away in one of my earlier services sometime i do that and i said anybody who's married and they're both christians genuine christians and their marriage isn't beautiful and singing and magnificent if they follow god's plan i will personally go and find a hundred thousand dollars and write you a check i'll tell you that i will because why is that boy he sure wish i had a million i'd say the same thing wish i had a billion i'd say the same thing how do i have such confidence because i have never known and nobody has ever brought a witness forward for me who said you know we're living god's way and my life is messed up and it doesn't work if you find such an individual or if you think you're such an individual come soon i want to talk with you because you're the first one i've ever heard make that honest witness god's way ladies and gentlemen work you can have a bad marriage an okay marriage or you want to have a great marriage god gives a plan a blueprint of how to build that kind of marriage right here in the bible now i want us to go back and i want us to use a wide angle lens okay i'll just go back to the book of genesis chapter number one god tells us what he did in the beginning god created he said let there be let there be let there be genesis 1 tells us about creation it tells us what god did okay and he says seven times it is good it is good it is good it is good finally he said it is very good chapter 1 genesis and he talks about he created mankind male and female he told them to be fruitful and multiply that is chapter one now don't get confused some people say well there's two accounts of creation there's chapter one there's chapter two no chapter one tells us what he did chapter two is a commentary and an explanation partially of chapter one and he tells us a little bit of how he did it and why he did it okay so some pseudo theologian well we've got two accounts of creation no you've got one account of creation then you've got an explanation of that account in chapter number two a commentary and it tells us a little bit of how he did it and why he did it are we together okay and you go in chapter 2 it begins with worship it is a prelude for worship it said god worked for seven days and then on the seventh he worshipped he rested it is an introduction to the promise that all of us need to be worshipers in fact all of us are worshipers incidentally everybody on the planet is a worshiper it's a matter of the object of your worship and so we see here god said he rested introduce us to worship and then god goes and says look this is how i brought adam into being first man and he made the first man out of dirt why i think so he would tell us that we're of this earth we're of this earth you and i are made first man adam was made out of dirt and he was formed and god blew into them the breath of life adam and then he says to adam this is what you cannot do don't eat of that tree he wanted to see if adam would be obedient to god's word early test to be obedient to god's word and and then he moves on and he says adam you're to be fruitful and multiply but that can't happen yet you don't have that partner in you in the meantime i want you to name all the birds and animals on this earth now ladies and gentlemen that's a pretty good opening assignment isn't it pretty good opening assignment so here come the birds here come the animals can't you see it there is adam there here's two of this here's two of this two of this two of this two of this how long does it take i don't know what an assignment i think he tried to discover the characteristics of those two that were brought before him and he saw those two big large animals and he said hip-hop hippopotamus you know hippopotamus looks like a hippopotamus doesn't i need this and then you know just a personal thing somebody i think from this church gave me a picture of uh a whole bunch of lions there and had a picture of daniel standing in front of the lion's den what's a great picture i saw those lines there and i thought about heaven boy i'd you know i just made private i'd like to get out and both those lives they were gentle and pet them and wrestle with them and wouldn't it be great know we got so much to look forward to but that's his personal and he he saw those lines and he's called them lions and tigers and bears and elephants he named them and he noticed god wanted him to notice there are all these two by two by two by two none of them fit him there wasn't a mate a partner another part of him he was still a soloist and then you have that beautiful picture right there in the bible i want to read it to you because it is magnificent when we truly understand it fully the lord god said it is not good for man to be alone i will make him a helper and the word helper there doesn't mean well here's a low person it means the rest of something that great god well said to adam i'll make for you something that is the rest of you and then so the lord god calls the man adam to fall to a deep sleep and while he was sleeping he took one of the man's ribs the word ribs there is a poor translation of the hebrew it means he took a hunk out of adam's side literally a hunk out of adam's side and then closed up the place with flesh and then the lord god made a woman from that hunk out of adam's side and he he had taken out of the man and he brought her to the man listen your wife gentlemen whether you know it or not was brought to you by god ladies your husband whether you know it or not your husband was brought to you by god and man when adam saw eve he said eureka he said i found it this is now bone of my bones flesh of my flesh she shall be called woman for she was taken out of man and then that little phrase there in verse 26 genesis 2 that is why for this cause he's done everything it's happened before creation of the universe creation of the earth the animals on the earth the plants the water the whole ecosystem and then god says this is why i've done all this this is what he's done genesis 1. this is a little bit about how he did it he said this is why i did it you'll never guess why for marriage that's what he gives there is the formula for marriage why did god do all man my goodness creation ex nilo nothing whoa he did it for marriage boy and then he gives us that formula that plan god's plan for marriage right there he said well that's just one time no it's right there genesis 2 it's right there matthew 5 the sermon on the mount it's right there matthew 18 and 19 references to it it's right there in ephesians chapter five and we've already looked at the bible we said it begins with marriage right here it ends with the marriage faith of the lamb when we get to heaven and the first miracle jesus performed was you look at the bible it's marriage marriage marriage marriage from genesis to the maps marriage why all this for marriage because we know marriage is for procreation it is for pleasure and it is a human illustration we've already looked at it of what happens when we come to faith in jesus why christ you do what is all marriage and he tells us his plan god's blueprint for marriage and when this blueprint is followed guess what you have a bad marriage impossible yeah well okay marriage never happened you'll have guaranteed whatever position your marriage is right now you'll have a great fulfilling dynamic growing exciting marriage period selah god's promise okay so what kind of marriage do you want here's the basic formula for it it says for this was taken out of the man this is why marriage a man leaves his father and mother exclusivity is the word i want to use you leave your father your mother all other primary relationships they're no longer primary relationships because that primary relationship is with your spouse you leave him and there is now an exclusivity that's the sacred part that's the beautiful part that's the private part you leave all of this you leave let me put it down candidly leave your father and your mother and i will say to fathers and mothers cut off the money you leave financially it doesn't mean we don't help our kids when they're married in sos situations but primarily don't go and say well you know i'm gonna buy your car i'm gonna buy you a house so make that first payment no no no kids need to learn to leave parents we need to help them to leave it's a wonderful thing so it doesn't mean there's not extreme times we do not help gosh i've done that all parents here perhaps it does mean they don't now look to mom and dad for any kind of financial security because when that happens they still have their hooks in your marriage and you haven't really left and you've got to leave emotionally emotionally and if you're still tied to well what my mom said my dad said my friend said my buddy says oh no no you've got to cut off all those emotional relationships doesn't mean you don't love doesn't mean you don't have other relationships doesn't mean you don't continue your ledger with your parents but they're not primary anymore because they're in there is an exclusivity privacy in marriage so you got to leave i heard a tape it told the story of this young married couple like ken and barbie i mean they were perfect they had everything going for them they'd been married about six months and had their first fight not physical had their first disagreement i mean they were going at it she said if i'd known you were like this i would never have married you and she said he said well have i known you're as untidy as you are and boy they just go call on the heavy armor and they just go at it from about i don't know 11 o'clock at night it goes on and on and on and she begins to cry hysterically and women have have nuclear power in their tears in an argument and it and but and then so she cried he just said cry away and he cried i mean they went at it until about oh 3 a.m and they're both exhausted finally he just gets up walks out slams the door and walks up the street she now has lost it they've been married a little and so she goes and puts a robe over her gown gets some shoes she stomps out she gets in the car she backs out of the driveway turns up the street just runs right by him he's walking on the sidewalk zipped and she's gone she's going home to mama and it takes about two and a half hours to get there so she drives crying crying she gets to her mama and daddy's house and she pulls up in front and she gets out of the car she goes the door she's ringing the bell she's knocking on the door she's crying and a mother comes the door and on that door they had that little curtain there and the mother pulls back the curtain looks at her and closed the curtain oh mommy she looks at it again to make sure that's who she thought it was and she closed this hurt oh mom let me and i'm dead and the mother opens the door but the mother keeps her foot in the door and the mother says you've had a fight haven't you yes go back home and make it right bang [Applause] she gets back in her car now she is super hysterical about 10 or 12 years later she told some friends what she'd already told her mother you know that's the best thing that ever happened in her marriage and our marriage is super today i think because we've learned that our marriage is exclusive exclusivity and we get our emotional support and we confide in one another leave marriage has about it exclusivity also what else is married this is the next thing this is god's family by the way don't say i don't agree with the pastor you don't have a problem with me you had a problem with the bible you have a problem with god who is the author inventor of marriage so he says the next thing we are to do he said we're to leave his father and mother and be united to his wife please father and mother and be united the word we usually hear is the word cleave and what happens and they become one and their single a at duality their singularity there's now we're just one singlety comes in what is that two kingdoms meet kingdom himself meets the kingdom of self and they collide right they do not understand in their singularity they're to become one kingdom and that one kingdom is a new kingdom in their marriage under god himself look at the screen i want to see what mr webster calls singularity listen he says a point a region of infinite mass density at which space and time are infinitely distorted by the gravitation forces and which is held to be the final state of matter falling into a black hole singularity one that that means one it's when mass and time come together and they become one and they're sucked into the black hole in the universe one is that one that's strong enough we become one a husband and wife their lives are so entangled with one another and they they cleave to one another i thought of the word super glue gorilla glue ever use gorilla glue get a little on your arm it'll be there for about a year and a half but that's what happens the husband's life is totally entwined with the wife the wife's life clothing time with the husband and the two become one by the way ladies and gentlemen the most powerful thing you and i can do in this moment in history is to let the world see by evidence of how we relate to our wife or our husband that this is the way god's way really works that's the most powerful christian witness we can give the entanglement the oneness the unity all of a sudden all the plural pronouns are gone it's not we it's only i and the i is my wife and i and my husband myself and two have become one and what happens to that oneness so many times there's so many things in the bible a little verse it says don't let the sun go down on your anger in other words you have a disagreement with your wife or husband don't go to sleep until you've got it settled it doesn't mean they're not things that a man or wife may never agree on in the larger things but it means they don't go to sleep until their hearts are together and when you go to sleep and anger is still in the air you wake up that morning for breakfast and you've invited the devil to have breakfast with you book it write it down so we have to be understanding it in this oneness there has to be communication there has to be understanding there has to be forgiveness that's the encouragement did you know that regardless of how you saw yourself before you were married how other people saw you or you thought they saw you before you were married your marriage spouse can totally reprogram and does reprogram every image you've ever had of yourself do you get that you know you're just not very attractive ah but your spouse says man you're very attracted you know you're not very smart but your spouse said you know you've got insight and talents that are really admirable you see our mate reprograms us some people go in with with a good self-image who they are and their mate reprograms them negatively they see only bad stuff they only see negative stuff you see your spouse actually sets you and i up for understanding and living this life that's how vital and critical in marriage is so i heard a story about a guy who used the bible as a weapon against his wife you know anybody like that any man or husband you try to out pious your bait well i'm a christian i go to church and i pray and i came up in a christian home and you came up with all those pagans and you know how your daddy that sounds really anybody out pious when we use scripture to attack whoa i heard about a guy who's a christian married another christian he was in a bible study group he'd been married a little while and his bible teacher said how are you and your wife getting along common question isn't it you know how you and your wife getting along and this guy said well she is not following my leadership she's not really submissing submissive to my leadership you mean your wife is not submissive to your leadership no she's not she's not following the bible and this bible teaches that show me that verse in the bible that says that your wife is supposed to be submissive to you he said well you're a bible teacher i thought surely you know that verse it's fine in ephesians chapter number five here let me show it to you we just bad this gets out of his bible he said look you know this first ephesians 5 uh verse 22 wives submit oh wait a minute said the bible teacher what do you start off with wives are you a wife no i'm okay that's not for you that verse is not for you it starts off with wise he said now look a little further in there there's some verses for you look at verse he said look at verse 25 husbands love your wives just as christ loved the church and gave himself up for her whoa it sounds like you to love your wife as christ died for the church and you're ready and willing to whatever it takes to die for your wife parenthetically does that make taken out of the trash really difficult if you're going to die anyway that's my word that said look at the rest it said in the same way husbands ought to love their wives as their own body he who loves his wife loves himself he said now that word husband that's your assignment he said by the way you missed the whole verse that introduces all these relationships go back and look at verse number 21 submit to one another out of reverence for christ whoa that introduced the whole thing of relationship between a man and a wife between children between employees and employees submit to one another your whole relationship should be one of submitting remember i've talked about it position yourself under position yourself under don't use the bible as a sword or try to out pious your mate because you see you're one you're one you're interwoven together in such a way man you just everything is involved and then what's the last little moment here that he tells us what we are to do we're to leave and and we're to become one and then he says adam and eve in verse 25 and his wife were both naked and felt no shame that is transparency you come before your mate and you're just naked you're you're transparent there's no hidden agenda there's no something else going on you can talk about anything well we could talk about anything but finances and sex yeah oh no you're totally open totally open here i am warts and all i'm yours you're mine man i i we've left everything we're one and i want to be transparent before you transparency is genius of marriage folks it is it is a beautiful thing in marriage just totally transparent how big that is and that means your marriage is based on truth hello what if you lived in a family a house a family where everybody always told the truth oh how would that be you speak the truth in love the words you speak the counsel you give i here's a a wife got dressed she's always late her husband right there on time going to a company party there she was they were late he was pacing the floor she came out and she says how do i look well he didn't like that dress she had on that outfit but they were late he wanted to be on time what would he say i could ask some of you guys what did you say but we don't want to get too personal here and he said you know that's a good outfit but you look better and so many other things we've got time if you'd like to change he gets an a plus he gets an a plus you see we have to speak the truth in love if you know that your spouse will always tell you the truth and stand on truth and there's no secrets no other agendas no manipulations there it's not oh i'll do this for you if you didn't no no no none of that bartering they just speak the truth in love by the way did you know that in your here you find a strange strange thing look at the word here h-e-a-r and in the middle of here is what here so what you have when we listen to our mate that shows we respect we honor we're on top of we're right there in the middle of it so when you hear here is in the middle of your heart look at it h what e-a-r-t is in the middle of your heart and you take these two ears and you put them together and you get the shape of a heart h ear t learn how to listen learn how to speak the truth in love practice these principles folks it's god's idea you can't possibly have a marriage that's not great and successful and explosive and booming and creative if you well if she does no no no if he does no no no no if you and hopefully both of you together realize and walk under this formula that god has given that's it's not mine it's his formula and there is exclusivity exclusivity in your marriage oh man there's singularity there's oneness in your marriage and then finally in your marriage there is transparency you say well my marriage i've been married this long or that long and i've had this problem in that problem i'm way down in a hole i'm in a pit there they didn't that won't help me let me tell you something if you're in a pit in your marriage let's say you're 20 feet down i can tell you god's got a rope that's 20 21 feet long he'll lower it down to you so well in my marriage it's worse than that i'm a thousand feet down in a pit in my marriage let me tell you something god's got a rope that's a thousand and one foot and he'll drop that rope down for you and i'll tell you something better than that as god came down in jesus christ to save us god will jesus christ will go down that rope where you are and save and salvage and pick you up what do i got to do you just got to say help me lord help me lord and he'll be right there right there heavenly father we know that you've brought this whole world into being everything it's amazing you did that so that we as those made in your image as we've come to christ and we're in your family so we can have marriages that are successful and blossoming and blooming and producing and growing beyond our wildest dreams awaken some people out of a deep deep complacency heal brokenness do a simple napper with supernatural works in the hearts of all many who are married lord bring back the springtime the trumpets we know that's your desire for every one of us to have [Music] a great marriage some here father haven't taken the first basic step to you them received you as lord and savior and asked jesus to come and run their life they have repented of sin [Music] confessed christ and invited him to come into their life may this be that moment of decision by simply standing in a moment falling walking down these aisles say i'm coming home to christ others father are christians they need to have a church a body of believers a family of faith they could be a part of and be biblically challenged and biblically instructed and find a way to really explode into our culture with the life of god everywhere they go lord lead those who would come into this family today is our prayer in jesus name

Channel: Second Baptist Church, Houston

Views: 101

Rating: 5 out of 5

Keywords: second baptist church houston, west, dr. ed young

Id: tr13-le1630

Length: 34min 37sec (2077 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 20 2021