Marriage and Quarantine

hi everybody hi I'm Johnny Erickson tada and I'm Ken tada and we've got a personal word to you couples who live with disability we certainly know oh yeah we've learned a lot during this time oh my goodness during this hard season of quarantine how do we all learned a lot and Ken and I you and I have always believed that confines and restrictions are always God's Way of revealing this stuff of which we are made not very pretty the stuff of which were made is not very pretty I remember the first week of isolation back in March mm-hmm I was literally wheeling over your toes in our single-story home well it was inside of our house yeah so there were short fuses bruised feeling it were sharp words and cold shoulders he came almost commonplace literally that first week of sheltering in place oh my goodness it was so hard Ken and I quickly realized that if we were going to survive if our marriage was going to survive the pandemic you had to get a grip a grip on what God wanted out of us doing this isolation that's absolutely so well we kind of chose a theme for arm foundation and honestly am I kidding we repeat it to each other every day oh yeah James 1:12 blessed is the man who perseveres under trial because when he has stood the test he received the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him why did you choose that person I think it speaks to all of us yeah I think perseverance number one perseverance outwitting the strange virus at least within our home meant persevering it meant standing the test standing the test because we knew it would bring a blessing now okay that was in March now then there was the first week of April and found us confessing our shortcomings on another you agreeing to extend mercy thank you thank you because mercy is what we needed that first week of April we decided we just we just had to start extending mercy extending forgiveness we had to develop a few new spiritual disciplines as part of our new routines so every morning when I get up in my wheelchair kenan i what do i do i wheel yeah we're at the kitchen and we pray for others we know in similar situations yeah and I mean the the read the Bible in a year program so that is a wonderful we love reading through the Bible in a year and in the second week of isolation we even memorize memorize Psalm 51 yeah yeah you're a little head of me oh yeah well just a little bit but I'm getting there and we decided also to hold each other accountable most of all every time an irritation caused a flare-up we would take a deep breath and remind each other toward Jesus Christ with our responses yes yes simple words like sweetheart you're right I'm wrong ooh would you forgive me yep yep I'll forgive you if you forgive me I was really stupid when I said that would you excuse that absolutely yeah well all these things became part of her everyday vocabulary and honestly by the third and fourth week of isolation it was hard we even with all these new disciplines we began to tire every new directive from the governor shifted the finish line and then the end seemed nowhere is nowhere in sight this fog of depression oh my goodness that'll over both because the coronavirus just wasn't leveling out in California and as a vulnerable person we had we had a table make double Precog doubles precautions yeah we cut down on caregivers and that kind of put a big burden on you I'm so sorry no I don't think it was that big of a burden yeah yeah it isn't it made up for it yeah and I remember you in might you wouldn't say this but one afternoon he came up to me and said Johnny I don't think I can take this anymore well helping with your toileting routine yeah I mean that getting up to turn you at night I feel so tired so weary and a little trapped he confessed that now there would have been times and years past when I would have snapped back you think you're tired and weary what about me I'm the one in this wheelchair I'm the one who's really isolate oh my goodness but time with all those new disciplines that we had you know started keeping those short list my response instead to him was Oh sweetheart I don't blame you one bit for feeling trapped if I were in your situation I would feel exactly the same way I don't blame you at all so I'm gonna do all I can to make things as easy for you as I possibly can and you did am I do it okay oh absolutely I hope so yeah others are coming up and out of quarantine but because of my disability Ken and I are going to be well for a long while now I don't think we're we call it stuck in the house or soccer stuck we're stuck together in this house and and who knows that's a good thing but let us share some practical tips that will help you and your marriage okay what's the first one well I think read the Bible together pray together yeah yeah pray together and if you don't feel like doing that to do it anyway do it anyway if your spouse doesn't want to participate do it anyway do it anyway start praying scripture over your spouse and for your marriage and you know I would suggest I'm starting well I'm gonna say start with the fish yeah yeah I love Ephesians pray that the eyes of your spouse's heart will be open to the hope that he has the riches and the power I pray this way for your spouse and next and this is a good one agree that you're gonna right drive each other up the wall oh the wall you gotta drive each other crazy realistic yeah they'll be bruised feelings there will unmet expectations words that wound yep-yep selfish choices evil eyes you've never seen my evil eye oh no cold shoulder evil eye coach he gets the cold shoulder and inside and snarky remark I love that word snarky remarks admit it you're a sinner and admit it to each other but also promised to keep short list you will ask for forgiveness okay you will say you are sorry final work to make things better absolutely promise you will give each other space during this quarantine for instance here's a good example I've had so much frozen food 70 Lean Cuisines but you're not ready to complain I'm not gonna complain about because he's my caregiver right now and he should not have to be chief cook and bottle washer without at least me making things as easy as possible so there you go so enjoy these new habit yeah okay there are some new habits and we would suggest okay one habit well I've made some friends next door with with and Waxie next door but also our birds and patio backyard birds have become our best friends and we're becoming to know them very well every day I mean we just spend time right here by the sliding glass door sitting and watch him throw out the crumbs yep yep snapping iPhone photos of our feathered friends and also here's another good one here's another good habit to do stop dulling your heart by watching too much TV read instead read instead ken and I are going through a John Stott book what's now it's well it's on the Sermon on the man look at the Sermon on the Mount right now and we're enjoying it immensely also reach out to your neighbors absolutely it's a great time I took some cookies over to some new neighbors yesterday yeah yeah and we've struck up a great friendship with them so get to know the names of your mailman you're so good at this can all the deliveryman I've tried to talk and talk to them but you wouldn't talk to them he stops the refrigerator with ice cold Coca Cola's I think is so cool that you're always have a great opportunity to share Jesus it it is I saw you do that with Francisco or mailman the other day oh friend there is so much more to say but please do not allow the devil to drive a wedge between you and your spouse and your precious spouse the devil would love nothing more than to cause a rift between couples and Hebrews chapter 12 verse 1 this is my verse I love there let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us fixing our eyes on Jesus and for perseverance perseverance it's all about perseverance in this time look friend we don't want you to get to heaven think oh man that I blow it no don't do that do the disciplines now run the race with perseverance now cultivate the good habits now because you will get through it and Lord willing you will get through it all the better for the strange unprecedented time in our lives so are we ready for Phase five of the quarantine means you and I still need still need to state sequestered ok such a bad thing I kind of like being with you so good advice friends we trust you'll follow it bye bye bye love you [Music]

Channel: Joni and Friends

Views: 156,616

Rating: 4.9631448 out of 5

Keywords: caregiving, caregiving and covid, marriage and quarantine, joni and ken tada marriage

Id: Go1gShI4DbY

Length: 9min 8sec (548 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 26 2020