Significant Insights with guests Ken and Joni Eareckson Tada

she encourages people all over the world but until now a few people knew about the challenge is that Johnny Erickson tada and her husband Ken faced in their marriage they talk about their untold love story next hello and welcome to significant insights today we have a rare treat for you because Johnny Erickson tada is our guest Johnny always blesses us with her attitude and insights and today her husband Ken joins us as well as most of you know Johnny is celebrated around the world as an inspirational speaker an author singer painter and host of radio and television programs all done from her wheelchair during her 45 years as a quadriplegic well today Johnny and Ken take us behind the scenes of their thirty years of marriage which they write about in Johnny and Ken and untold love story their marriage is especially unique given Johnny's severe disability her great celebrity and many of the health challenges that she's encountered along the way we started by talking about one of the most difficult problems of late which is severe and chronic pain johnny has suffered with pain daily for the last 15 years medication didn't work and she's had bad side effects so she manages the pain with stretches fluids prayer and an eternal perspective on suffering what I did not know some years ago that there will be a better day that it will not always be this bad that there will be a little bit of reprieve and those those hopeful outlooks on my own future make it possible to deal with the day as it is beside Jerry it is my pain that drives me to Jesus when I wake up in the morning I wake up needing Jesus desperately I really require him urgently maybe some people hit the alarm their back recovers jump out of bed scarf down breakfast rush out the front door I can't I don't I can't live on automatic pilot I need Jesus every single moment and that that's a good place to be that's not a bed that's not a bad way to wake up in the morning needing Christ that much Johnny we like to think as Christians especially evangelical Christians that we don't have to put up with pain that have you ever had Christians to say to you you really shouldn't be having this oh yes I have I I remember I spoke at a conference once it was a a conference where there were a lot of women who who were Pentecostal and they came up to me and insisted that that there was some unconfessed sin in my life and they wanted to pray for my physical healing and I remember telling them I said well since you've asked to pray about my healing may I may I ask you to pray about these things specifically and then I went on to say please pray that God will remove from me my sour disposition when my pain gets bad please pay for my rotten attitude when things don't go my way please pray that that I'll quit have this itchiness to always get things my way that I'll quit manipulating my husband with those precisely timed phrases that I will that I will quit fudging the truth that all these things that I want to be healed from because Jesus I mean the same man who healed blind eyes and withered hands also said gouge out that eye if it causes you to sin cut off that hand if it leads you into hell so I think that shows his priority sure he was using a metaphor but it shows God's priorities and his priorities are the soul he is concerned about our souls the health of our soul so you believe that there is a purpose for your affliction I do I think most of us as Christians don't like suffering of course um it's it's Jesus spent most of his time on earth trying to relieve it I think that God shows God's heart and attitude about it but that does not mean his only relationship to it is to remove it I know we Christians we tried very hard to do that we want to medicate it drug it surgically exercise it institutionalize it divorce it do everything but live with it but we're told in 1st Peter chapter 2 verse 21 to this we've been called Christ suffered for you leaving you an example that you should follow in his steps and if my Savior learned obedience through the things that he suffered am i above my master I don't so and and so I count suffering as that Philippians chapter 1 verse 29 perspective you know you it's been granted to you it's been given to you it's a gift this thing to suffer on his behalf and no I'm not being persecuted I'm not living in a foreign country where there's persecution not that kind of suffering but suffering in the sense that I've got to hold on to my smile too much is at stake the cosmic stakes are too high God's reputation in me is on display and so I want to make certain I honor him and tell the world and show the world that His grace is sufficient ken what is it like being married a person with this kind of chronic pain obviously when the two of you married to some degree you knew what you were accepting is it more than what you expected well you know Jerry I I think the pain came later we've been married 30 years and in those early days I don't think I really saw the pain as much in you know at least the first few years but I the one thing I've learned more than any other is that my wife is a warrior I mean she really is amazing when it comes to too oftentimes hiding this pain as you said she knows that she I mean she's been able to deal with it there were days and I know this because I live with her I mean she's in pain every day it's just a matter of some days are better than others and sometime sometimes Ken will get out of stickum realistic comes oh yeah one of the things that we do as a couple some days she just needs a little extra courage so I get one of those little stick comes and I draw a little C on it and place it over her heart and I write over my heart so Johnny this is your courage today and and anyway we get a chuckle out of that I think probably most people who know you or heard you speak at conferences or who's seen the two of you together had always just assumed that you had an absolutely model marriage in your book you reveal that that's not exactly the way it was what was what has been the most difficult for you to deal with the the chronic pain the recent cancer a couple or so years ago or the celebrity well there was a little of all of those things Jerry but I think you know as Johnny and I have been married now for a little over thirty years the first thing that that really comes to mind is making the adjustment to the 24/7 you know when we got married like any couple we were just very much in love love is blind love is blind and and yet you know I was married to a woman who really loved the Lord First Samuel 16:7 says you know that God doesn't look at the things man looks at man looks at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart and I fell in love with Johnny's heart yeah yeah but my heart I mean there there were many times in the beginning of our marriage at first five ten years oh my goodness my heart was anything but lovely to look at and to to I I remember one time Ken was sitting on the edge of the bed and he said I just feel so trapped the 24/7 day-to-day routines non-stop always the same and he said I'm just worn I feel trapped and my response was well what's the matter didn't you realize it was going to be like this when we married where was your head didn't you think didn't you know quadriplegia was going to be hard and as soon as I said those words I felt awful that I'd said them and I said oh Ken please I did that's just not like me really this is not like me at all to be this way but my quadriplegia in pain have shown me that is like me that's exactly like me and and suffering becomes the lemon that God keeps squeezing to reveal the not-so-pretty stuff of which we are made so that it can be brought to the light and confessed can I am sorry please forgive me please forgive me and point it out when I get to be that way again I don't want to be that way so show me where I've gone wrong that kind of communication is priceless it's priceless and I think that what happened was there had to come a point you know I was feeling a little bit guilty in those early years about not being able to share this with Johnny that feeling trapped but I also said at the same time Johnny I still love you but I feel trapped by this disability what was there a tendency toward then depression yes fighting depression yes that was a big those were those middle years of our marriage Calma tired metal gears you know I was teaching school as a high school teacher and and going to school and you know it's kind of like my respite away from from the disability and you know we we had a good marriage but you know like like a lot of marriages we we just had those tired years we're kind of running parallel tracks but one thing we did was get people to pray for us we knew that prayer would help lift the fog of depression we didn't know the answer we didn't know the way out we knew that Jesus was our goal to fix our focus on him but how does that play itself out day to day so we just ask people to be praying for us we we confess their sins one to another we we started getting into certain disciplines like reading the Bible together praying together and I think it was those disciplines that that helped lift the depression and I think in the middle of it Jesus was the really key to keeping us together both Johnny and I love the Lord and I think in those trouble sometimes the difficult times the fact that we both love Jesus made a difference and then there came in time some years later when again he sat on the edge of the hospital bed and said I still feel trapped but this time my response was I don't blame you and I'm not gonna fall - I'm not going to scold you because I think if I were in your position I'd feel exactly the same way so I'm with you in this can I'm not going to abandon you I'm not going to scold you I'm with you I'm next to you I'm gonna cheer you on to it we'll get through it I mean that that's the more christ-like response hard lessons learned through has Johnny says the lemon squeezed through suffering more from Cannon Johnny uncaring for a chronically ill loved one but after this she has been such a wonderful partner in terms of our marriage and also my best friend and you know she is a warrior and home is where we are if we learned that we've learned that when when he's off fly-fishing I'm so glad that he's left home but it's not quite home and when we're together when we're traveling overseas wherever home travels with us because we're with each other welcome back today Johnny Erickson tada and her husband Ken are discussing the ups and downs of a 30-year marriage where celebrity travel quadriplegia cancer and especially daily chronic pain are all part of the mix here's part two of our discussion ken what would what would you say to people who are watching the program who are responsible for the care of maybe a child maybe a spouse or a father or a mother who's going through pretty much what you are a feeling absolute crap and fightin depression what would you say to them there are no simple answers I know for us that that because we have Jesus in our lives that has been a huge part of keeping us together but on a practical note you know as far as caregiving goes you know you can't do it on your own I would say that you need if you're a man you need to have some brothers alongside you that that you can go to is share your heart oftentimes I can share things with Johnny and I do but I need somebody else to be able to you know bounce things off of and so I have a couple of guys that I know that can call anytime just to say hey you know what I'm a feeling little depress right now and I need somebody and I need someone to talk to is that an important part of this oh yes my goodness yes yeah I think you know for those people who have to deal with this on their own that aren't able to share this with someone else very tough and and you know I'm married to my best friend but I think you need somebody apart from you even our relations with Johnny and I and you need you need time by yourself you know and I think Johnny is well she knows I need time to go out and exercise or just be away you know from the situation fly fish fly fish you know be with other guys there used to be a time in the early years of our marriage when I was so jealous and envious of these friends of Ken's because I would see him run to his friends and talk to them and get on the phone and he'd been the phone for an hour and I'd hear him hang up and say love you buddy and I think love you buddy she I don't get that and now so many years later if these friends call and I happen to get on the phone first before they ask for Ken I'm thanking them I'm profuse I am so grateful Oh Jan Pete god bless you guys I just love you thank you for the strength that you are - my husband keep it up keep it keep in memory just whatever you're doing just keep it up go fly fishing you know just go go hunting birds in the high desert whatever it takes just love my husband because you're doing a good job of it and that that's I think a great help when a spouse can offer the caregiver that kind of support you still have to call your buddies well I I still call my buddies but she is been such a wonderful partner in terms of our marriage and also my best friend and you know she is a warrior and home is where we are if we've learned that we've learned that when when he's off fly-fishing I'm so glad that he's left home but it's not quite home and when we're together when we're traveling overseas wherever home travels with us because we're with each other Johnny I've heard everything you said but at the same time you've had quadriplegia you've had broken bones you have a chronic pain a couple of years ago you were diagnosed with breast cancer and a mastectomy it has there ever been a time is there a time when finally you just said god this is enough no more why me well there will be more we know that I'm in my 60s it's not going to get easier from here it's going to get harder I I tend to think that when before I broke my neck I just imagined a job like scenario where this the devil went before God's throne and said see that girl down there having fun athletic you let me break her neck you let me just trifle with her a bit I don't think she's going to trust you and God said okay extended Satan's leash I get a broken neck and then he comes back and says hey okay so she trusts you but you know what you throw chronic pain in their show cave-in and I think God probably nodded gay permission let's say out on his leash and trifled a bit and then I I imagine that the devil probably came back up before God's throne some years ago okay okay so quadriplegic pain okay so she still trusts you but you know what give her cancer give her something that's really life threatening then she'll throw in the towel then she'll defame your good name and God said I'll let you trifle with her and I am so I'm so invigorated Jerry with that scenario because I I am counted privileged enough for God to say you know what cancer quadriplegia chronic pain and whatever else may come down the pike it gives me a chance to make God's name famous to showcase it as grace really is sufficient and it's hard and I will tell people so I'll explain that I'm not a strong person that I need Jesus desperately if I'm if I'm nasty to my husband I'll quit confess the sin not only before him but before others living a life runnable and exposed because I know that that that that's when my spirit is most tender and keeping in God's Word keeping praying I am the most blessed person I am so blessed to be in this scenario my eternal estate in heaven has become so much more enlarged through my suffering that I just can't wait to get there I believe I will believe I will be one of those who the Apostle Peter says will receive a quote written rich welcome in heaven not just a welcome but a rich welcome Johnny and can't have written honestly about their story and Johnny and Ken and untold love story and you can get it at Johnny and Friends org or wherever books are sold

Channel: Total Living Network

Views: 446,549

Rating: 4.8601546 out of 5

Keywords: Joni Eareckson Tada (Author), Ken Tada, quadriplegic

Id: M38iGxxVHiA

Length: 19min 50sec (1190 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 23 2013