Mandisa, ‘American Idol’ and Christian Artist, dies at 47

yeah a lot of people that have heard my song Overcomer may not know that kesa was really the inspiration behind that song um she was diagnosed with breast cancer While She Was Pregnant and So I prayed and I believed that God was going to heal her here on Earth um and so when she delivered her son Brandon and he was born perfectly healthy I really thought that God was going to do it but Kea had one year with Brennan before she went on to be with the Lord and I just did not deal with my grief my disappointment or my anger I stuffed it down and the result of that is at two years uh after that happened I was in the deepest pit of depression that you could imagine and that really is what started this um story of recognizing that mental illness and depression and anxiety is something that a lot of people face a lot of Christians face and so I really wanted to write this book to tell my story but also um encourage people who maybe are experiencing a similar thing to know that when they're not alone and that God is able to lift people out of a dark pit in the same way that he did for me oh so good that we're talking about this because I love what you said that people go through it but Christians specifically Christians go through it because sometimes we think oh because we have we believe in God and God lives on the inside of us we should be fine but the reality is in many seasons of our life we're not and you know not only were you grieving her death but it really shook your faith too talk to me about that and yeah I think anytime that you're praying for something so hard and believing that God was going to do it like I had no doubt and I could just imagine the powerful testimony that the two of us would be able to share on stage and you know the song Overcomer was I never had a song that related with people so much and people were calling it their fight song and their battle song and so when it did not end the way that I thought it would um I just started questioning the goodness of God as started questioning the existence of God um why would God allow something like this to happen um and anytime that that those questions begin to circulate and then you isolate from everyone truth can't get in there and so that's what happened is that I just started doubting everything and before I knew it um I didn't want to say I didn't want to talk to God I didn't want to talk about God there was no sources of life that I would let into my life I didn't want to listen to Christian music which is not a great idea for a Christian artist so I just I recognize um now how important it is to have sources of light and that includes the word of God it includes worship and music it also includes the people of God to be in my life because those are sources of life that when it's dark I can't do without so I've I've learned a lot of lessons through that period and really want to encourage other people that are battling with some more things and you know a lot of this this pattern I guess of like running away and isolating uh you know you turn to food for Comfort just all those habits really had been there your whole life and started with some painful things that you had to face from way back when and I think that's so true for many of us we don't know what's driving us our Behavior so talk to me about kind of going back and looking at the roots of what was driving you the way that it was yeah through writing this book you know I had to kind of go back to a lot of these childhood issues including uh you know the divorce of my parents and uh I was raped when I was 16 years old there's a lot of difficult things in my life that I thought that I was fast but now I recognize these are issues that I still kind of carry with me and so it's a journey I the subtitle of the the book is my journey through the Shadows to find God's joy because it's not just a hey I've arrived and I'm done and I'm never facing it again um this pandemic it all those things started to rise up again and so I you I'm a big fan counseling I think that in the same way that I would go and see a doctor when I have something physically illing me I've come to understand that a lot of these things I did not deal with as a child and so having to look back at those issues and having to actually untangle a lot of the the beliefs that I failed um I've I'm having to do that now and so much of it has formed my life my you know my relationships my weight all of these these things happened to me as a child and still has an effect on me and so um I'm I just kind of want to shout it from the rooftops that having a professional to help you out through things like this it's not a sign of weakness I really believe it's one of God's gifts to help people that struggle with these areas yeah and you know what it takes so much courage because any day of the week every single one of us would rather do anything else than deal with our deep inner pain it is hard but you know one thing that you wrote In the book that I thought yeah this is so true of so many people people who've experienced sexual abuse you know your relationship with your image your self-image your identity your body it gets all messed up right and like your abuser was telling you that you're beautiful while he was abusing you so how how has that impacted your identity and how are you reclaiming it yeah you know I I don't think I put this together but you know I'm I'm 45 years old I'm a single woman I've never been married um and I do believe that a lot of those messages that I received as a child I still have you know buried deep down in there and so just relating um Beauty with danger uh that happened at 16 years old and I do I do believe that marriage is something that God has for me I also believe that there are some um beliefs that started getting engrained at 16 years old that I'm having to unravel right now and so I I think anytime you know one out of six women uh are physically abused in that way one out of eight men it happens to I've heard and so I think I think anytime that something like that happens to you at such an early age um there are some issues that have to be dealt with and so I don't enjoy my counseling sessions necessarily like it's difficult to talk about these things and even difficult to write about them in the book but I also know that it is necessary for me to confront and to deal with in order to get to a place of healing and so it's not easy it's not comfortable but God doesn't call me to comfort he calls me to Effectiveness and so often the only way to get effective and to be healthy and whole is through being uncomfortable and so I have to learn to embrace that yeah and I think too the vision that there's a greater level of freedom and peace on in your life on the other side of it you just have to get through it but I I'm so glad you shared that I know a lot of people who experienced assault were nodding when you said that because I think that's a very common experience um I don't want to end this interview without talking about some of the racial pain that has surfaced in the US it's really caused even a conversation here in Canada menisa and you write this incredible sentence I you know I just we got to talk about this you said I fully believe God's calling his children to be Bridges across divisive issues like racial Injustice when you're a bridge this is so important you have to be willing to be walked on by both sides I just had to sit down on that that was that's an amazing thought what do you mean by that you know I in the industry that I am in um I recognize that I am able to speak into areas that maybe some people are not you know there's not a lot of people um I consider myself a contemporary Christian artist which doesn't have a lot of black people let's be honest um and so my audience is M they don't mainly look like me so when things were happening I remember it was July of 2016 where um you just saw a lot of black people that were being killed and a lot of just um division between police and black Americans um so it was in that period that I wrote a song called believe the same because I really believe that God has called us to Unity and that doesn't mean uniformity we don't don't have to look alike or even worship alike but if you say that Jesus is your lord and your savior then you're my sister or you're my brother and so being able to speak about these issues um as a woman of God as a follower of Jesus and as a black person um I realized that I could be right in the middle and that some people that are black may not like what I'm saying and some people are white may not like what I'm saying but I I know that if you are called to Via bridge then you are going to be walked on on both sides and it's not easy it's uncomfortable this topic is not something that people like talking about because people get offended really easily but again I come back to the comfort thing it's not comfortable but we are not called to comfort and I think the only way that we're going to find healing in these areas is to confront some of these uncomfortable issues and so I it's honor to be you know to kind of be the mouthpiece to talk about these things but I think through having these discussions that's how we're going to come to a place of healing and wholeness and as a woman of God um I think that that is what we are called to do is to be a bridge and to talk about these things and to know that Jesus has called us to Unity the thing that he prayed for in John 17 is that all of his people would be one just as he and the father are one so I think the only way to do that is to kind of put our differences to deci to the side and say if you are follower of Jesus then we are one United body of Christ oh I love the fact that you're speaking out about this and we are sisters God loves diversity there's not one person that is alike in the entire universe you got to know that that is a Creator who loves the fact that we're all different thank you for that just 30 seconds left I just want to hear from you where are you with God now I know you're in the process but you know you were so angry with him and so hurt about the things that happened how how do you relate to him now yeah you know there's a scripture that when I speak about Overcomer um it's Revelation 12:1 and it says for they overcame them by the blood of the lamb and by the word of their testimony and that's such an important scripture but it doesn't end there the rest of that scripture says for they did not love their lives so much as to fear death that scripture is talking about Martyrs and when I think about Kesha um and even when I think about myself I recognize that my time on Earth is very short that there is so much more to this life and I believe in heaven I believe in eternity and I think that when I see Jesus face to face and I see the long beautiful story that he's writing it's not just going to end when my time on Earth comes to an end so I've had to embrace the fact that God is God and I am not that's Stephen Curtis Chapman SS and to recognize that he understands the full story of his Redemption and I just play a small piece in that and so I'm not going to understand everything I still have questions and learning to that I can bring those questions that when I have doubts and when I'm angry or disappointed to not hide those things away but my relationship with God has been deepen because I'm able to speak those things out to him now and that has brought me into a place of healing it's not always easy and I get frustrated sometimes if I don't understand but I love that I can come to him with all of my doubts and questions and often he'll give me the answer but often he just gives me his peace in the middle of the storm

Channel: 100huntley

Views: 256,348

Keywords: 100Huntley, Crossroads, Christians, Jesus, Christian Testimony, Mandisa, ChristianMusic, Faith, Overcomer, American Idol, RIPMandisa, Grammy Winner, Hope, Encouragement, GospelMusic, InspirationalMusic, Legacy, HealingThroughMusic, DepressionAwareness, PrayForMandisa, ChristFollower, MusicMinistry, GospelLegacy, FaithInMusic, CelebrateLife, StrengthInFaith

Id: 2E1Ed0A040Q

Length: 11min 34sec (694 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 19 2024