Male Vs Female Hair Management | Michael Mcintyre SHOWTIME | Universal Comedy

because you know it would have been a big night we don't go out very often but when we do you know it's such a it's a grand occasion especially for her I mean I marvel at all of you women and what you go through on a big night now planning in advance booking blow-dries she goes off for a blow-dryer she comes back completely unrecognizable nailed down in the tanning lots of tanning going on some of you weren't very good at it don't want to be me but you have to turn your entire body that's an essential part of trying to convince people you've been abroad some people sort of leave their feet you need to turn on the way over the food well you've been away somewhere nice and your socks but the spray tan is good as yours but well my wife's had some spray turns it's it's a bit odd to process though they spray her like a very dark mahogany as a color that no human being has ever been right and then she have to wait like 24 hours and then you wash off the mahogany and this she's a beautiful golden brown color but this 24-hour period well it's difficult that's difficult for the whole family if it just sinks as well she's a stinking mahogany blow-dried woman walking around the children don't know who it is that stinky dark lady that's your mother that not mummy I don't like that now don't they just smell we're helping the mummy I don't like her please I don't want her read me story because it comes off it like she'll stain she'll touch soft furnishings and clothing and literally brown stains on the minutes left - literally the most distressing morning's of my entire life you know when you wake up in the morning any haven't yet adjusted to the day sort of look over she's shut the bed [Applause] if I'm honest that's putting up the first thing I think the first thing I do is confirm it's not me okay there's none on my side don't they wake up look at me I'm just gonna come straight out with this cuz it's bad okay you're very sick you're a very sick woman I'm so sorry we can't go out tonight you've done a in your sleep it's even nuns your face I'm not even sure that the children are coming in and of course then she washes it off which is a beautiful golden brown you know to go over blow dryer POW and the nails - that's miss poor she's even got dressed yet women getting dressed is an extraordinary procedure everything she needs privacy not supremacy I'm getting ready now just leave me alone but of course men never want to leave women alone where they're getting dressed when there's some kind of nakedness involved we will always be lingering lurking it's the privilege of every husband and boyfriend I'm with lurking you know when my wife's getting them they've been lying in bed look at the laptop but just leaning over um I'm getting dressed I'm just what pants are you wearing getting dressed not all of it I'm not like you there are aspects of women getting dress to have decidedly mixed results tanks for example is a very 50/50 affair the first half is quite I would say almost erotic a very enjoyable spectator sports the llama leg let's focus on the lower leg for now sort of pointed toe delicately scrunch up the tights glide it neatly over the lower leg lovely ghal I need it over the other one marvelous but watch the tights reach the halfway point this is how I suggest you leave the room okay there's some goes on after that funky the crooks for my car hmm I just what do you think it's over she carries on since what are we doing up here just walking around like a baby taking the first steps so social engineering I know these aren't right don't do it again mixed results like high heels are so amazing when stationary sometimes just stand there what you think of these new shoes my car I know it's not me oh my god what reserved incredible yeah I just bought them they're really nice I really like them I seriously look incredible in those shoes I can't believe you married me Oh gorgeous come to me come to your husband you know what I'll come to you let's not spoil this Jesus Christ mixed results that's what we've got to the face incredible women don't have to use the face they've been given I'm so envious of that they said look in the mirror no one's gonna be meeting this this person I'll be using these products to create a completely new identity men don't have that luxury there's nothing for depressing than a man looking in the mirror before he's going out at night what's it I'm ready come on Donna here we go that's all we do basically hair management that's all men can really that's our focus we just hope hair stays on a head we hope it doesn't start popping out of our nose and our ears human beings have a very own relationship with hair sometime we like or nobody others we find disgusting I think the oddest relationship with any hair on the human body in my opinion has to be the eyelash I just don't understand eyelashes why have we decided that eyelash is my magic they can change the future peculiar scenarios when something goes Shh don't move take me for face stay still what what is it what's on him what's right just stay completely still easy careful eyelash oh thank you we're going then make a wish sometimes I'll actually think about it I need okay okay don't tell me I won't thank you thank you what on earth is that's all about certain hair that falls of your body can change destiny Eliza's that her anyway it could be any hair you can be stand at the urinals going stiff you might blow stay still easy easy these two cute oh well Carol I'm hand Mike a wish try again [Applause] you

Channel: Universal Comedy

Views: 959,208

Keywords: Comedy, Stand Up Comedy, Universal, Universal Comedy, Comedian, Stand Up Comedian, michael mcintyre send to all, michael mcintyre kids, michael mcintyre dentist, showtime, michael mcintyre showtime, michael mcintyre night out, michael mcintyre big night out, michael mcintyre getting ready to go out, michael mcintyre getting out the house, michael mcintyre getting dressed, michael mcintyre women getting ready, hair management, hair management tips, michael mcintyre hair

Id: ucpHv64nk5I

Length: 7min 56sec (476 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 10 2020