“My Name Is Ackle Ackinckacker!” | Michael McIntyre

five teeth out this year okay that's bad I know for wisdom to all of them and another tooth have had to have out because I said terrible trouble with my teeth it all started last year I had this pain in my tooth because you know last year I was fine my knee was fine my carpets fine my shoulder was fine I'm some pretty good Nick then I had this pain on my tooth and I went to the dentist you know as you do open my mouth which is key obviously after you have to be almost you know just walk in ha so is that the charities that he looks at my mouth he's like you know what you've got a rotting wisdom tooth I've got to take it out I've got to take it out it's rotting and I didn't really mind I didn't even know I had wisdom teeth to be honest I know that my wives have the mounts I'm like yeah fine whatever you like also there's a TV there I was watching this morning it's right in my face I was watching Phillip Schofield chatting away it's like yeah goofy laugh so he just got to work lying just lay there and I I did that for a while I don't know maybe an hour maybe more than an hour I thought I've been here ages so I flicked my eyes over you know to see if the dentist was okay and he wasn't oh my god quite stressed sort of sweat coming off his forehead he was straining like this so I tried to ask him if it was ok which is hard when your mouth is completely numb and he had like equipment it came out just one sort of sound just one noise like at Northern Irishman saying mirror that's an odd moment I don't know what's going on there ha and he pull back anyway no no no okay okay I thought was something personal oh just for 30 years not been able to get somebody's tooth out okay okay I'm not in any pain whatsoever I've got nowhere to be I'm watching this morning I'm actually completely fine go away I'll come back this is the reason you don't feel any pain is like numbed your mouth okay look and he passed me a mirror I am NOT going to lie to you till the day I die I will never forget the image that greeted me in the reflection okay this side of my face was literally twice the size of his life there was bruising I had even noticed my bib was covered in blood already I could even see it there was blood dripping on the side of my face like a sort of vampire [Applause] the poor people in the waiting room you know they're sitting there with the with the fishtank reading old magazines reassuring their children and everything was going to be fine at the dentist visit I come out with bruising blood all over my bed blood coming on the side of mine now Cesar Dennis pictures and even right come with mommy come on Chancellor ideas or recipients of some woman there she's not me tonight the booking appointment with the hygienist this idiot is in his car is it his car with the door open he's thought that his clubs on he's going get in relative comfort watching this morning now we're driving through traffic he's hooked engines with my wife answer you cut me off on the burner the dentist wiping suprotec I'm not being bound I'm in the car oh you only way home I don't know where I'm going what is wrong you the dentist is writing Telesis writing he whiting he's writing defended wiping but then this is rising then it is riving a corner ater recording a waiter to the dentist hi Lila sharp with his dog he's like you see that doormat yeah go in there okay that's a hospital they're going to be treat you you're good to be fine they know to expect you just tell them your name everything's gonna be fine get out going to get out she drives off he leaves me I'm now standing on the pavement right I've still got the people on the blood-soaked beam I'm standing there I saw my reflection in the girls I have to say I looked horrific I was worried it's gonna still the receptionist I came in at my best angle hello is that gonna help you yes I was wondering have you been attacked I think you were in the boob expecting of hot many times by now we're abroad and clothing apparently you're expecting more okay sir can I take your name please but the problem is in you'll know this if you're a local anesthetic you can't move your lips I had no control of my lips and you need that to do such a letters of the alphabet the M for example greatly requires lip work no and I couldn't do it I need that to identify myself take the name please if I come knocking Gallagher after working Kaka octo algún Ganga [Music] right okay I think the best thing featured is if you head down the corridor take a seat in the waiting room and we'll try to get to the bottom this okay now I'm not gonna lie to you I was quite peaceful she reminds me some quite a lot of television I know that this side of my face was pretty much you know unrecognizable bit aside was fun I tried to jog her memory as I went down the corridor um you know in the anesthetic to where I don't feel a bit you know it hurts a bit now I was making sort of low sort of et in there thankfully I think for everybody the nurse came in quite quickly aku akan caca she can't touch my face excuse me yeah I can catch em so what is your name boy tux this is my real name loans we've added ended up looking back [Music] so the tech coverage of this room sort of private room she's really nice to me now so oh my gosh you've had a terrible day haven't you sir yes don't worry don't panic until we do this all the time we're gonna take your clothes off and we'll take you straight through all the policy but know you'll know but it's like you've been tossed relations you for no reason at all you have to put this at a piece of [ __ ] floral thin gown on the wrong way round with this with hanging out put this on [Applause] [Music] [Music] they'll be what we put Catherine not to follow this woman down the corridor literally down the corridor there's no way I'm going to walk down the hospital corridor with my arms just flapping away here so people just happen to be behind me looking at my ass no that is not going to happen so I go down look I got on the wall if somebody's actually doing the same thing towards me all right quickly easy thank you finally they fly me down on a hospital bed of enthral man because then we can see my ass is concealed I'm happy the anesthetist comes in a very serious sort of quite old man hello I'm their new statistic if you a general anesthetic I'm gonna knock you out I'm gonna give you a small prick my left arm you're going to be knocked out immediately you're okay with that michael says yes I know exactly who my three daughters are big fans of yours let me put the needle in my arm and he went my wife and I not so keen I don't know how many hours later two or three hours later I didn't know where I was sometimes I wake up at home in a deep sleep and I don't know where I am this was a DPC forever and it was a general anesthetic I woke up the way it was in bed it was bright it was hot I'd come out to the covers you know and you know like in a heat wave you come out you know when there are is that the highest point you come out you know when you're lying down at some stage during the night the duvet sort of tucks in and you just sort of roll out wake up within moments I feel this breeze coming in the so turn around to see my entire family standing there my son said pants down you're the loser [Applause] you

Channel: Michael McIntyre

Views: 3,480,721

Keywords: michael mcintyre jokes, Comedy, YouTube, Best, Stand Up, Hello Wembley, English, Happy and Glorious, Royal Variety, Channel, Roadshow, michael mcintyre comedy, Christmas, Live At The Apollo, Funny, Michael McIntyre, british comedy, Comedy Roadshow

Id: kbu7ybhB9Fg

Length: 12min 42sec (762 seconds)

Published: Wed May 29 2019