Living with OCD and Emetophobia (Phobia of Vomiting)

all right my camera is on everything looks great what's it like to be you what's it like to be me the first half of my life I didn't know who I was so I kind of hid all my mental health issues because it was easier than explaining it to people and within the past about five years I've been getting more and more open with it and yeah now I try to explain to people more what my life is like I guess living inside my head what's your favorite thing about your life I think it is how interesting every day is I still don't fully understand what she goes through and I have known her for 13 years welcome to SBS K join me as I travel around the world an interview individuals living with a condition to prove no matter how you communicate but what obstacles you face you're always deserving of love and acceptance so without hesitation let's meet today's friend when you tell somebody that you have OCD how do you hope they react I hope that they don't automatically say a stereotype like oh you're super clean then you wash your hands a lot you must be really organized I would hope that they would say oh tell me more about that or what is OCD even if they kind of know I think that's what I would want someone to ask how is OCD affecting you in this very moment this very moment OCD basically affects every aspect of my life so everything that I touched so where my hands are how things are placed around me basically every step I take I see something and my mind automatically talks outloud and says go fix that or else you'll get sick my wife has OCD and Mehta phobia her OCD consequence as I like to refer to it is throwing up which plays right into the middle of being the fear of vomiting so sometimes when she's having a bad day which would be her obsession or whatever she's needing to fix that day happens it's snowballs very quickly benefi BIA is basically a phobia of vomit or vomiting a lot of people right away when they hear it just are like what that's odd I don't understand or they just kind of cut it off don't want to ask about it because they just think it's weird so basically it's different from person to person me personally with my emetophobia it's in general getting sick is what my phobia is what is it like to love somebody who's diagnosed with OCD I don't think it's any different than loving someone who doesn't have any certain diagnosis I mean your love for someone comes from your ability to I guess sway back and forth with that person if you will what's that mean I like to think of things in a relationship as a scale right so I helped her with her OCD she helps me with whatever I have to go through you know it goes back and forth the obsession part of OCD varies from person to person I've met some people whose obsession is something that sounds really irrational like my parents are gonna die if I don't do this or something that you know the average person would be like oh that doesn't make sense that's not gonna happen because of you not moving something you know so mine with the vomiting it's interesting that the emetophobia and the OCD are kind of intertwined because the obsession is the intrusive thought that comes into your head and so for me it's you're gonna be sick you're gonna be sick and then the compulsions is your mind saying do this random thing move this random thing don't step there and if you do that thing it temporarily xiety from your obsession so if I do that then my mind is like okay you're safe you're not gonna get sick but OCD is just a circle so it's gonna go right back to another compulsion do this or you'll get sick is there ever a moment where you don't have intrusive thoughts no so from the moment I wake up it's automatic like the first thought usually in the morning is how are you feeling what's your stomach like what are you gonna wear today where are you gonna step like are you gonna brush your teeth before this random things like that and it goes up until the point where I go to bed so I would say what I'm having bad days when I don't leave my bed the only time that I don't have the thoughts is when I'm actually sleeping some days are so hard that I just lay in bed because then I know that I don't have to listen to my thoughts because I'm laying in one position um I also require a lot of sleep a lot of people think that I get a lot of sleep just because I don't know why but I tend to need more sleep than the average person because it's exhausting to have a constant voice running through your head and I'm constantly you know tense trying to listen to my mind and relieve my anxiety so it's very exhausting when you're having those days where you can't get out of bed do you want your friends to call you up and say come on let's do this or do you just want empathy um empathy and more understanding I have had that happen in the past where I've cancelled plans or not even cancel just know showed you ghost it I ghosted yeah and I feel bad because I know that I'm letting someone down but at the same time it's kind of my fault for not telling them the truth you know instead of me saying oh I'm not I'm not gonna come today I could just say I'm having really bad day my anxiety is really high I'm not gonna why don't we say that well now I will but there was a time when I kind of kept that inside and I realized that you know well it's Who I am so I would rather someone know the truth then just think I'm not someone that likes to leave my house something what's allowed you to be more open about it um my husband Josh has been super supportive with understanding who I am asking questions I've never had someone actually asked me questions about it I really didn't know kind of what it was but I could tell there was something different that I didn't understand I didn't really come to a full realization and we really didn't come to a full realization of anything until two three years ago and that's when we really started you know digging down to okay what's going on what's causing this what are these different things that you're experiencing he would see me you know struggle to do something that an average person would think is simple like I couldn't I couldn't step over a certain spot it was really hard for me to do and he would see that and he would ask out loud you know like what's going through your head that's making you not do that and it kind of went from there just small questions he'd see me struggle and ask you know what's going through your head right now what's it saying and we both kind of learned about myself together I think it was just really eye-opening I started to understand why she would get into bed a certain amount of times yeah you know and it was just a opening to finally have a oh that's why she's doing this he is really wanting to learn more about OCD and kind of what that's like to have the thoughts in your head so we'll be just doing house chores or something and I'll say out loud what my head just said so that he can like imagine what it was like in that moment for him to have to do that action with that thought it's always interesting I'm constantly learning stuff I am a pretty analytical person so I like to not really like to like all laugh and while she does things but I'll like to watch her you know say try and put a bowl in the sink or whatever and I try to figure out okay is it how she's touching it or is it how its place you know I try to figure those things out and then I'll ask her and then she'll explain no it's because of this you know and it's just it's always interesting to me it helps me to talk out loud because I'll say something and I'll hear it out loud and not I'll think you know like that just sounds crazy to me out loud but in my head it makes total sense and I'm like and so being able to talk to someone aloud about it has helped so much he's almost like my my own therapist all the time um he also is really good at noticing when something's going wrong he can tell if I'm having like constant thoughts and I can't focus or if I'm really struggling with something he's able to come help me like relieve the situation he's also really good at bringing humor into my life so if I'm struggling you know he'll make a joke about it and say I don't even know like if I if I had trouble stepping into another um he'll just like come by me and like do a stupid dance so it looks like me you know so I think humors helped a lot too what would you say is the most important thing for others to understand about your wife um I would say that she does have OCD and does have a mini phobia and there are still people who don't think that that's a thing I guess and that getting out of bed some days and just going enjoying the day isn't going to change how her thoughts may be I've had a lot of friends and acquaintances and coworkers say that they have saved a diagnosis like anxiety and they don't use medication to cope with it which is totally fine a lot of people have their own coping mechanisms but a lot of people try to push that on to other people who are on medication so they might say you know I can do it this way you just have to go outside when the sun's out the Sun will make you feel better or you know drink more water exercise and it's it's not that easy I mean it's something in your mind just needs a little help how does OCD and emetophobia affect you in a social situation such as Liss emetophobia is something that is always on my mind 24 hours a day so in my mind having people in our house sometimes is a scary thing so I'm always worried you know what germs might someone have or what did that person eat or where has that person been and I consider my house a safe place I like to have like my room as a quiet place I know that I'm safe in my house so social settings it's a little more difficult because I'm thinking about all these possibilities so for me to come here and your home and ask you questions did you really have to work yourself up and have that courage to do this I was actually super excited about this obviously yeah there's gonna be still thoughts in my head like oh where has he been I don't know if he doesn't feel good all those thoughts will run healthy as an ox perfect ones of Steel great I've been my 10 push ups this morning okay perfect no problem good the guy what would you say is the biggest stigma about OCD and phobia I think the biggest stigma is that people don't understand that there is a voice in your head that is constantly shaping your day telling you what to do a lot of people might think that it's just do this do that and when in reality it can be really debilitating for someone and it varies from person to person you know it's really interesting now that I have kind of educated myself a lot more on it um because when I was growing up young I always had a voice in my head telling me what to do and I thought that it was something super weird I thought maybe I was possessed or like something was super wrong with me and when I learned it was an actual disorder you know it kind of relieved things it seems like you're in a place where you've accepted it as part of your personality was there ever a time where you thought this was something that's not me and I want to get rid of it oh absolutely basically my whole life up until like three to five years ago when I really started understanding it I always hoped that it would go away or it would lighten or medication would like wipe it completely and I finally came to the realization that yeah I'll always have it medications gonna help calm anxieties with it but it's just something that I have to live with so I might as well tell people about it when you look just in the eye what goes through your mind usually it's what are you thinking or or like what what's next sort of thing you know do her tendencies ever frustrate you I will say sometimes but a lot of the sometimes is when I have already had I would say a normal exhausting day so coming home from work after a long double you know she may have had a rough day where sometimes she can't put certain dishes in the sink or throw garbage away so I am I am now used to coming home and just quick cleanup of things that she have may have left around but early on of course it was why is there a banana peel on the coffee table and now it's just okay this makes sense you know it in in all of it now is okay because I ask the questions you know of you know is there a reason this is here even though you might not see on the outside that someone is struggling you never know so just be kind everyone you meet you don't know what's going on through their head thanks for watching if you appreciate what we're doing and want to see SBS K grow make sure to LIKE comment and subscribe this will help us reach even more people and make the world a better place thank you when somebody's meeting you for the first time like I am now and once they get to know you once they ask questions what can they do to make you feel as comfortable as possible I think to make me personally feel more comfortable is one asking questions don't feel like a question would come off as offensive because I feel like it would be almost more offensive to not ask questions

Channel: Special Books by Special Kids

Views: 1,804,432

Keywords: OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Intrusive Thoughts, Emetophobia, Phobia of Vomiting, Mental Health, SBSK, Chris Ulmer, Special Books by Special Kids

Id: GdNDvM2J8p0

Length: 15min 44sec (944 seconds)

Published: Tue May 01 2018