Living with dementia: the long goodbye | DW Reporter

first they start forgetting small things but eventually they forget their entire life worldwide more than 44 million people are living with dementia an incurable brain disorder Edward Kline was diagnosed five years ago his wife Martina decided to care for him at home the disease has progressed so far that he needs care around the clock and can no longer speak caring for him is a challenge by citizens up the gate my meeting when I'm trying to get him to open his mouth like now should I treat him like a child or like an adult there's always a bit of wiggle room depending on what he responds to I'm still able to cope it was hard to get used to but it had gradually also signed first Talmud Klein was confused wandered off and got lost meanwhile he would starve if his wife Martina wasn't caring for him he barely speaks any more often Martina Klein can only guess at what he might be thinking or feeling when I'm busy it often seems like he's bored that might not be true but I feel like I have to do something with him he doesn't talk so it's hard to figure it out if I ask are you bored he says bored if I ask is everything okay he says okay the best isn't good enough amazing I would miss him if he weren't here but even with all this there's still these moments during the day that are happy again yeah and well I still love him and I don't just want him to go into a care home somewhere hell root Klein was an executive at a bank in Berlin he was extremely organized loved football and hiking and had many friends he has a particularly severe form of dementia that can strike people as young as 50 often it leads to death within five to eight years there are ups and downs on some days I'm alright and I can accept the situation but then there are days when I feel sad about it all and then I have phases where I feel a bit aggressive and think I can't do this anymore it's not easy the best way to cope is to just make sure that you maintain some kind of daily routine and to live for the moment darkanian I don't like to think about what's going to happen in six months or in a year I try to just live for today what happens tomorrow I'll deal with that when it comes the climbs raised three children here their two daughters are older and moved out a while ago just a few days ago their son also moved out Martina Klein still shares a bedroom with her husband sometimes at night she holds his hand he's incontinent so she has to change the sheets often although she now does accept outside help she's still afraid sometimes that she won't be able to cope sometimes I feel physically exhausted or emotionally overwhelmed both of these things can happen it's been alright until now when those moments came up when I was stressed out and felt overwhelmed the children were still here they would notice what was happening and say mom let us take over for a bit ma ma Martina often takes out the old photo albums it's a way of jogging Helmut Klein's memory to try to help him remember life as it was sometimes he responds oh let's come by for the pause she does that when he's happy or when he's unsure about a situation sometimes it seems he wants to say something contribute something but can't anymore it used to be that I was the quiet one I used to listen more and he was the one who talked but now I'm the one who has to talk which isn't always easy for me but if I don't talk it's completely quiet so it's up to me in the afternoons they often play Yahtzee it's helmet Klein's favorite game he still loves numbers and every so often there are small moments of success so I might spice in defeat it's fine might spice in yeah hey this surfboard the next morning they're on the road early Martina Klein is bringing her husband to a senior daycare center it took her a long time but eventually she realized she couldn't manage on her own anymore so three days a week Helmut Klein goes to the care center pushing me for the next seven hours helmet Klein will be cared for here it's the only time that Martina Klein has to relax and do something for herself I enjoy the chance to relax to enjoy the fresh air social circle does shrink a bit so you have to make sure that you don't get too isolated you have to take care of yourself and make an effort to maintain friendships whenever you can the longer the situation continues the more important it becomes to get some time to myself 4:00 in the afternoon Martina Klein picks her husband of then takes him home the system in the outer - - I mean it is tough stuff on TV on tape Samia so Aldrin gets pizza - it's fine oh yeah a super lap dog yeah the Kleins younger daughter is visiting you Leone is studying sports therapy at University she deliberately chose to stay in nearby Potsdam so she can help out at home for a long time Yulia didn't tell her friends about her father's dementia meanwhile she talks about it openly and she admires her mother's strength at first I felt overwhelmed when I had to watch him for a bit or when he ran off and I didn't know what to do and my mother does this every day Kim talked even though my father isn't really sorry it's kind of hard for me to talk about it she's always trying to help everyone and still give as much love as she can and take care of him even though she has to deal with all the stress she still tries to make life as normal for us as she can and she supported us when it came time for us to move out as hard as it was for her the clients usually spend the evening in front of the television Elwood Klein enjoys watching nature shows back when he was healthy the client's used to go hiking a lot Martyna doesn't know how long she'll be able to keep caring for her husband at home her husband's illness has taught her to take every day as it comes she has one wish for the future oh my hope is that we can spend what time we have together in relatively good health and that we can still do nice things together all together as a family confident and have as many good days as possible solution a darker

Channel: DW News

Views: 183,026

Keywords: frontotemporal dementia, Alzheimer's, Pick’s disease, family care, daycare, nursing home, life expectancy, symptoms, diagnosis, care

Id: RcG1PiI9t5c

Length: 12min 7sec (727 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 22 2015